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字幕來源：網絡 后期：筆?·Lee
本字幕非人人影視翻譯 人人影視只做壓制處理
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看看 總統來了 Hey, look! It's the president!
還有教宗 And the pope!
啊 天啊 Oh, my God!
看 那是憤怒的郵務人員 Look! It's disgruntled postal workers!
等等 把兒子還給我 Wait a minute!Give me my baby back!
弗蘭克 弗蘭克 你沒事吧 Frank!Frank!
我在流汗 I'm soaking wet.
我去拿爽身粉來 I'll get the talcum powder.
不 不是這個意思 我做惡夢了 It's not that. I had a nightmare.
全是罪犯 我阻止不了 There was crime all around me.I couldn't stop it.
弗蘭克 那是夢罷了 It was just a dream.
是的 我需要好好休息 All I need is a good night's rest.
到了早上 一切就都沒事了 In the morning, everything will be just fine.
白頭神探3 終極悔辱
史達威監獄
你好嗎 我的寶貝 How's my little boy?
沒什么事吧 Getting along okay, sweetie?
這里的人很濫交 我忍受不了 About as well as a heterosexual can in prison.I don't know how much longer I can take it.
坦尼婭好嗎 Ma, how's Tanya?
坦尼婭還是一樣 Tanya's the same.
整日在打扮 擦脂粉 Milky, creamy skin,
竹筍型的騷胸 令人神暈顛倒的 pouting red lips, firm buttocks,ample breasts,ears you'd love to stick your tongue into.
再說我會把持不住了 I'll get guy cramps if you keep this up.
對不起 羅科 有人來探望你 Sorry.Rocco, there's somebody here to see you.
柏斯馬 Papshmir.
我的人很失望 My people are very upset.
他們一向都失望 They're always upset.
他們是阿拉伯恐怖分子 They're Arab terrorists.
媽 別這樣 Ma, please.
你應該是世上爆破的佼佼者 You're supposed to be the foremost terrorist bomber in the world...
火車站 百貨公司 政府大樓 train stations, department stores, government buildings.
南科羅里達州那次破壞行動 The devastation in south Florida?
那是"旋風"安祖做的 That was Hurricane Andrew.
那只是外面的謠傳 That's what they told the public.
我們只想另美國難下臺 但... No matter.We wanted to embarrass the United States,
你令那個警察成為國際英雄 and you've made the police
我說過要做得好得要5百萬 look like international heroes.A first-class job costs 5 million.
如果你付得起錢 那我一定做得到 If you want to step up to the price,I got a target that'll make city hall look like chicken feed.
這目標真不錯 That's a pretty big target,
但那又有何不同 but why should I think anything would be different?
你出5百萬 我就逃獄 Cause $5 million buys me.I'm breaking out of here.
好吧 All right,
如果你失敗 我的人不會放過你的 but fail this time, Mr. Dillon,and my people won't be so forgiving.
失敗 Fail?
誰能阻得了我 Show me one man who can stop me.
I used to be a renegade
I used to fool around
But I couldn't take
The punishment
And had to settle down
Now. I'm playing it real straight
And yes I cut my hair...
各位顧客請注意 Attention, shoppers.
請看清楚七號紙手巾 Be sure to check out our paper towel special on aisle 7.
It's hip to be square
那是七號 That's aisle 7.
It's hip to be square...
救命 Help!
給我 Give it to me!
我的錢包 救命啊 Somebody help me!
別再打我 My purse!Stop fighting me!
He's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow
Which nobody can deny
聽著 聽著 Hear! Hear!
我們曾一起出生入死 Well...we shot a lot of people together.
好 真好 今天我退休了 It's been great.
如果我再要出生入死只能在家中了 But today I retire,so if I do any shooting now,it'll have to be within the confines of my own home.
這就像是個王老五派對似的 Hopefully, it will be an intruder and not an in-law like at my bachelor party.
好的 Well, Ed,
我正式把槍交給你 I officially give you my gun...
及我的警章... And my... my badge...
我... Oh, I...
還有 And, uh...
珍和我想保存這手銬 Jane and I would like to keep the handcuffs
作記念品 as a souvenir.
振作點 不是永別呢 Cheer up, Ed. This is not good-bye.
只是"我不會再見到你" It's just "I won't ever see you again."
弗蘭克 Oh, Frank.
滾開 Get out!
別擋道 Get out the way!
卓斌警官 弗蘭克 Frank!Lieutenant Drebin!
你看到嗎 Didn't you see that?
什么 What?
是的 垃圾膠袋 一元兩個 Oh, yes. Kitty litter.2 bags for $ 1.00.
很好 Great.
法庭上請肅靜 Order in this court.
陪審團不用理會剛才的供詞 The jury will disregard that last statement.
檢察官 請繼續 You may continue, Counselor.
克萊頓先生 法庭判你支付膳養費 是嗎 Alimony had been set by the court, right, Mr. Clayton?
是的 但... Yes, but...
但你一直沒有支付膳養費 But not once have you paid alimony to my client,
一再無視法律 repeatedly defying a court order.
對嗎 克萊頓先生 Isn't that right, Mr. Clayton?
我沒有她的地址 I lost her address.
她兩度搬家 我找不到她 She moved twice. I couldn't keep up.
克萊頓先生 別說謊 你發過誓的 Don't lie to me, Mr. Clayton.You're under oath.
你知道發假誓的刑罰是什么嗎 Do you know the penalty for perjury?
我再問一次 I'll ask that again.
抗議 Objection!
法官大人 我 Your Honor, l...
媽的 Ow, ow.
檢察官在引導證人 Counsel is leading the witness.
反對有效 Sustained.
寶寶 媽媽說審訊時不能敲擊的 Sweetie, Mommy said no pounding when she's in session.
請重復最后的一句 Please read the prosecution's last statement to the court.
克萊頓先生 別說謊 你發過誓的 "Don't lie to me, Mr. Clayton. You're under oath."
乖 寶寶乖 There. That a boy.
你知道發假誓的刑罰是什么嗎 "Do you know what the penalty for perjury is?"
這就是了 法官大人 That's all I have, Your Honor.
卓斌太太 請繼續 You may continue, Ms. Spencer-Drebin.
啊...控罪就這么多了 Uh... prosecution rests.
辯方律師戴維斯太太 Defense attorney Ms. Davis-Jacobsteiner-Laszlo?
我沒其他問題了 法官大人 I have no further questions, Your Honor.
休息 早餐后再審 Court will recess until after the morning feed.
我覺得我們會贏的 We're going to win this. I can feel it.
那當然 Yes. Of course.
我嫁錯人了 I married the wrong man.
我想那是不可能的 I never thought that was possible.
你說什么 I beg your pardon?
沒什么 Oh, nothing.
路易斯 沒有 嫁錯人 這回事的 Louise, there's no such thing as the wrong man.
最重要的是自己努力 You just have to work at it.
現在 讓我們來看看 Now, let's see,
是卓斌先生夫人是嗎 Mr. and Mrs. Drebin, right?
你們結婚已經6個月了 Now, you two have been married for six months?
對的 Yes.
醫生 很感激你肯見我們 We really appreciate you seeing us, Doctor.
我們以前的醫生極度推薦你的 You came highly recommended by our last therapist.
是的 他自殺了我很難過 Yes, I was sorry to hear about his suicide.
我覺得夫妻間應互相坦白 You know, I feel it's important for a couple to get off on the right foot
而不是互相埋怨 and not get caught up in blame.
你們誰沒有生殖能力 Which one of you is impotent?
是他 That would be him.
當然 Yes, of course.
你為何不問誰是性冷淡呢 Why don't you ask who's frigid?
那也是他 That would be him, also.
你怎知道 你從不在家的 How would you know? You're never home.
他說我是個職業婦女 He resents that I'm a working woman.
還有他不知女人需要什么 He has no idea what a woman wants or needs.
你一點也感覺不到嗎 You're so insensitive.
你又在說那馬桶坐的事 This isn't that toilet seat thing again, is it?
是Baby 弗蘭克 我想生Baby It's babies, Frank. I want to have a baby.
每次我們開始做愛你就頭痛 Every time we start to make love, you have a headache.
我不是一塊肉 珍 I'm not a piece of meat, Jane.
我已盡力 I'm trying.
我用盡了能幫助的東西 I've got ointments, lotions, creams, books,
還有那能震動的 things that vibrate.
弗蘭克 Frank!
那可能是你的問題 Maybe it's your fault.
有試過穿性感內衣嗎 Have you tried sexy lingerie?
一些蕾絲內衣 黑色絲襪 Some lacy underwear, a black teddy?
我所有都穿過 但全無反應 I've tried wearing them all. They don't work.
你為何不想有孩子 Oh.Why don't you want to have a child?
記得我想領養那十八歲韓國女孩 Didn't I try to adopt that 18-year-old Korean girl?
珍 弗蘭克 Jane, Frank,
我來個建議 今晚做點特別的 here's what I suggest.Make tonight a special night.
晚餐喝點酒 聽聽浪漫的音樂 Dinner, wine, romantic music.
聽24小時廣播電臺 Put on the 24-hour Johnny Mathis station.
只有珍和弗蘭克這對戀人 Just be Jane and Frank,lovers.
我們已經很久沒有這樣了 We haven't had a night like that in a long time.
只是不是我倆在一起 Not together.
弗蘭克 Frank!
珍 Jane...
生孩子是責任重大的事 having a baby is a big responsibility.
那像在監獄管理廁所般 It's like being in charge of sanitation at a Haitian jail.
我只是有點害怕 I'm just frightened.
弗蘭克 我們今晚來點特別的吧 Frank, let's make tonight something special.
親愛的 我真的很愛你 Oh, honey, it's just that I love you so much.
我的甜心 My little lover sparrow.
我的... My...
心肝 puppy-wuppy wover.
我的小甜餅 My little love biscuit.
我的小星星 My little shnooky-wookums.
我的小愛犬 My little lady cheesy puppy.
卓斌先生夫人 Mr. and Mrs. Drebin,
對不起 please, I'm a diabetic.
我想你們可以離開了 I think you two ought to go now.
想不到我們的結果是這樣 I never thought we'd end this way.
那你想會是怎樣的 How did you think we'd end?
我不知道 I don't know.
不是這樣的 Some other way.
啊 杰森 Oh, Jason.
埃德 諾德伯格 好久不見了 Ed! Nordberg!It's been a long time.
- 弗蘭克 - 高興見到你 - Hiya Frank - Good to see ya.
你氣色很不錯 You look terrific!
謝謝 Thank you, Ed.
我健身去 那女的幫我健腿呢 The little woman got me a Thighmaster.
我真沒禮貌 進來 進來 Where are my manners?Come on in. Come in.
布置的真好 How charming!
坐 坐 Sit, sit.
地方太亂 我正在烤蛋糕 Excuse the mess. It's my ironing day.I just frosted some cupcakes.
要嘗嘗嗎 Would you care for one?
不用了 Oh, not just now.
弗蘭克 我們有麻煩了 是恐怖份子 Frank, we're having a little problem with a terrorist threat.
我想吃蛋糕 那咖啡也很香呢 I'd love a cupcake.That coffee smells great.
我自己磨的 I grind my own beans.
弗蘭克 我們來這因為需要你幫忙 Frank, the reason we're here is we need your help with something.
很不錯 That is great!
希望你們喜歡 我手做的 I hoped you'd like them. Made them from scratch.
現在才可以坐坐 Just get off my feet for a second.
弗蘭克 我們懷疑有人要炸大會堂 Frank, we may have a lead on a suspect
這是記者照到的 in the city hall bombing attempt.
這女子是在監視 These pictures were taken by a news photographer.
我們把它放大了 This girl was used as a diversion.
看起來很熟悉 We had them enlarged.
不 弗蘭克 胸針 她是護士 They look familiar.No, Frank, the pin. She's a nurse.
我可以保存這張嗎 Can I keep this one?
我們追蹤知道他在加舜醫院辦事 We traced her to the Karlson Clinic on Myrtlewood.
她叫坦尼婭 Her name is Tanya Peters.
坦尼婭 Tanya Peters?
你認識她 You know her?
你記得那70年迪斯可槍戰嗎 Don't you remember back in the 1970s?The big disco shootout.
Well you can tell by the way I use my walk
I'm a woman's man
No time to talk
The music loud the women warm
I've been kicked around since I was born
But now it's all right and that's okay
And you may look the other way
We can try to understand...
埃德 怎么了 Ed, what's happenin', my man?
弗蘭克 昨晚的舞會你沒有來 Frank, we missed you last night at the fondue party.
我到鄉下去 趕不及回來 Couldn't make it.
他們是很古老的人呢 -Went to see the Village People.They are a stone gas, man.-I can dig it.
怎么了 What have we got here?
一個死了的舞者 One dead disco dancer.
吸毒嗎 真是物極必反啊 Bummer. What a mindbender, huh?
我們猜是三角戀情吧 We think it was a love triangle.
這是嫌犯坦尼婭 This is the suspect's girlfriend Tanya Peters.
我很快回來 I'll be right back.
香煙嗎 Cigarette?
是的 我知道 Yes, I know.
我們需要你到警局一趟 Well...we'll need a statement from you down at the station.
諾德伯格 Nordberg!
來了 警長 Coming, Lieutenant!
Somebody help me
I'm stayin'alive...
我想起來了 I do remember.
那是第一次用化學證據 You were one of the first test cases for minoxidil, weren't you?
什么 What?
謝謝你的幫忙 Well, I'm glad I could be of help.
如果不介意 我要先烤烤羊腿 If you don't mind, I've got a rump of lamb to put in the oven.
我們需要你幫過忙 We need a favor.
你想吃羊腿 諾德伯格 Not that big a rump roast, Nordberg.
不 弗蘭克 No, not that, Frank.
我們需要你到醫院做臥底 We need you to go undercover at the clinic.
我已不是員警 你們找錯人了 I've given up police work, Ed.You're whistling up the wrong neck of the woods.
但我們是一夥的 弗蘭克 We're in a bind, Frank.
那兩個新人呢 What about those two new guys Hedges and O'Malley?
他們一起到夏威夷去了 They're in Hawaii... together.
我不能 珍和我今晚有節目 Well, l... I can't.Jane and I have a special evening planned.
只需幾小時 你可以趕回來吃晚飯 It will only take a couple of hours.You'll be home in time to make dinner.
我要煮飯呢 I'd have to make pork chops.
弗蘭克 想想那么多犯罪 Frank, think of all the crime out there.
人人都有危險 你這是保護珍 Nobody is safe. You'd be protecting Jane.
你要保護珍的世界 You'd be protecting all the Janes of the world.
還有你已經6個月沒開過槍 Besides, you haven't shot anybody in six months.
對 我很掛念那玩兒呢 That's true.Funny how you miss the little things.
能再動那小東西會很有趣 It might be good to feel that cold, hard steel
是的 做個男人 pressed against my thigh once again.The thrill of the chase, to be a man.
摺好衣服后 我出發到醫院去 After folding the laundry,
任何警方行動通常需要偽裝 I set out for the Karlson Clinic. In any police operation, it's important to have a foolproof disguise.
這次也不例外 This operation was no different.
為了怕坦尼婭認出我 所以我戴上眼鏡 I had no idea if Tanya would recognize me, so I slipped on a fake pair of glasses
還梳了頭發 and combed my hair differently, just in case.
行動開始 The plan was to get in,
找出坦尼婭的爆破計劃并盡快離開 get information on Tanya's connection with the bombing, and get out as quickly as possible.
我用踢足球受傷為理由 I figured faking an old football injury would do the trick.
我能幫你什么 Can I help you?
我想見醫生 I'd like to see a doctor, please.
請登記吧 Sign in here, please.
有預約嗎 Do you have an appointment, Mister...
我叫史密司 不沒有 Uh, Smith.Uh, no, I don't.
拿個號碼吧 Then take a number.
6號 Six.
什么 What?
已有人拿了6號了嗎 Is six taken?
那應該是1到10的嗎 Does it have to be between 1 and 10?
等我們叫你吧 You'll be called.
謝謝 Thank you.
史密司先生 Uh, Mr. Smith?
剛有人取消預約 現在輪到你了 Sir, we've just had a cancellation.
嘉珊醫生 We can take you now. Dr. Karlson?
早安 史密司先生 來吧 Good morning, Mr. Smith.Right this way.
很高興你見我 不會太久的 I really appreciate your seeing me like this.I'm sure it won't take too long.
精子銀行
你何時知道有問題的 When did you first notice the problem?
在后園和我叔叔一起時 Uh, in the backyard
在后園和你叔叔一起 with my uncle.In the backyard with your uncle?
是的 他來探望我 Yes. When he comes over to visit,
我們到后園玩玩 we like to go out in the backyard,throw it around for a while.
那你和你叔叔覺得怎樣了 What did you and your uncle find out?
我不能迎合他 I can't keep up with him.
長時間 很難應付 Mine hurt, especially on the long ones.
我忍受不了 那完全沒感覺的 I can't seem to straighten it out.It has no feeling.
像麻木了 It's kind of numb.
我可能運動得太多 I may have yanked it too much, maybe.
可以嗎 If you would.
什么 For what?
檢驗精子 A sperm count.
在這 In here?
雖然這不是后園 It's not exactly the backyard,
但也能進行的 but it'll do.
好吧 Well.
跟我來吧 我們還要文件登記 Follow me,and we'll do the necessary paperwork.
簽了它交給護士就可以離開了 Sign these at the bottom and leave them with the nurse on your way out.
來吧 This way, please.
什么 Uh, what?
17號 Number 17.
不 Oh, no.
有問題嗎 A problem?
沒有 No, no.
這是17號 你是下一個 This is 17.You're next.
我們見過面的嗎 Have we met before?
對不起 我是下一個 If you'll excuse me,I'm next.
先生 Sir?
史密司先生 你沒事吧 Aah!Mr. Smith,how are we doing?
我很忙 你是這個意思嗎 I've been busy, if that's what you mean.
需要看看錄影帶嗎 Would you like a videotape to assist you?
有《與狼共舞》嗎 Do you have Dances with Wolves?
《火箭人》 《女人心》 Rocketeer? Lady and the Tramp?
是成人電影 An adult movie.
那電影很有娛樂性 The tape was very entertaining.
跟我來吧 Follow me.
有獎品嗎 Do you have Spartacus?
你在干什么 What are you doing?
呼吸新鮮空氣 Just freshening up.
就算只有一個人也要好看一點 You should always look your best even though you're by yourself.
明白嗎 You know what I mean?
你肯定我們未見過面 Are you sure we've never met?
我的瓶子在這 繼續努力 Oh, here's my cup. Back to work.
史先生 你沒事吧 Uh, Mr. Smith?Are you okay in there?
有東西輔助嗎 I could use a little help.
露茜亞醫生 Dr. Rosenblatt,
請到七號病房 foreplay in room seven, please.
露茜亞醫生 Dr. Rosenblatt.
親愛的 我等了一整天了 Honey...I've been waiting all day.
我穿了蜜月時你送給我的睡袍 I'm wearing the nightgown you bought me for our honeymoon.
這是個特別的晚上 Tonight's going to be a special night.
我們將不停的做愛 I'm going to make love to you for hours and hours.
你喜歡嗎 Wouldn't Mr. Happy like that?
不停的 Hours?
像我們初次見面一樣 Just like the first time we were together.
珍 可否等幾天 Jane, why don't I soak in the tub for a couple of days?
最好是一星期 Possibly a week.
你真可愛 Oh, you're so cute.
我去拿生壕來 Let me go get the oysters and clams.
Walk my way
And 1000 violins
Begin to play
Or it might be the sound
Of your hello
That music I hear
I get misty
The moment you're near
You can say
That you're leading me on...
來 Here.
我來給你捶捶背 像上次那樣 I'll shave your back like last time.
珍 我想我們不該 Jane, I really don't think we should.
弗蘭克 這是什么 Frank!What's this?
我跌在草耙上 I... fell on a rake.
你說謊 You're lying.
我知埃德為何每半小時來電一次 Now I know why Ed's been calling every half hour.
你去查案是嗎 You've been back on a case, haven't you?
不 我發誓 那是另一女人 No, no. I swear. It's another woman!
是你的夢想 所以你不想要孩子 In your wildest dreams!It's bad enough you won't have a baby,
但我警告你別回警隊去 but I warned you about going back to Police Squad,
死白鬼 you white Anglo male!
珍 Jane!
根本沒什么 珍 Oh! Jane!It was nothing, Jane!
我只是幫埃德個忙 I was doing Ed a small favor!
算了 我要離開了 弗蘭克 Some retirement. I'm leaving, Frank.
想不到你不守諾言 I never thought you'd go back on your word.
你是否一時沖動呢 Aren't you being a little hasty?
我想不是 I don't think so.
那是計程車到了 That should be the cab.
要找我到路易斯那里吧 You can reach me at Louise's.
弗蘭克 你怎么可以 Oh, Frank, how could you?
我們要分開好好想想 We need time apart to think about us.
我不用想的 I'm not going to think.
為何要想呢 我愛你 Why start now? I love you.
聽著 我是我 我要做應該做的 Look, baby,I am what I am, and I do what I do.
什么事都要有人去做的 A few guys make shoelaces, some lay sod,
總要有人去做的 others make a good living neutering animals.
我是個警察 I'm a cop.
很動聽 但我已經決定了 Pretty speech, but my mind is made up.
我要走了 I'm leaving.
好的 帶著這個走 All right.Then take this with you.
I get misty...
你知道我嘴唇的感覺 You know how my lips feel about things.
再見了 弗蘭克 Good-bye, Frank.
你們現在收聽卡薩電臺 You're listening to KSAD,
經常都是失落的 all-depressing, all the time.
是送給弗蘭克和珍的 Here's a dedication to Frank from Jane
她剛叫了輛計程車 who just called from a taxi.
弗蘭克 你說謊了 "Frank, you lying weasel-weenie.
你不能這樣 你讓熱情熄滅 it's bad enough you're shooting blanks. Now you're letting all the heat out.
你還是這么笨 Were you born in a barn, you stupid..."
他答應過不再當員警的 He promised he'd never go back to police work.
一朝當差 一世都要當差 Once a cop, always a cop.
他應該跟工作結婚 不應該跟我 He's married to his work, not me.
你真沖動 但宇宙間有句說話 You'll always come in second.There was this great article in Cosmo...
男人都是豬 "Why all men are pigs."
弗蘭克是個失敗者 我不想再見他 Frank's just another word for loser.I never want to see him again.
我想盡快離開 I want to get as far away as possible.
到我的朋友那兒 We'll head to my friend's cabin by the smelting plant.
清新空氣對你有好處 The fresh air will do you good.
別喝了 已是第二瓶香水了 Go easy. That's your second bottle of Chanel.
路易斯 你會見到 You're witnessing the beginning
脫胎換骨的珍卓斌 of a new Jane Spencer-Drebin.
不再是靠男人的小人兒 No more little Miss Perky devoting her life to one man.
我要重新開始 I'm out for the new me.
起程吧 Let's burn rubber.
沒留下什么吧 You didn't forget anything, did you?
希望沒有 I hope not.
冷靜點 太太 Just calm down, ma'am.
你在泳池發現多少具屍體 How many bodies did you find
18元殺個黑社會份子 in your swimming pool?Killing a gang member's only an $ 18 fine.
好 寄來吧 Just mail it in.
弗蘭克 你來了 真好 Frank! Glad you could make it!
歡迎 Welcome, buddy.
諾德伯格 Nordberg.
找到坦尼婭的地址嗎 弗蘭克 Did you find Tanya's address, Frank?
我寫在手帕上但忘記放到那兒了 I wrote it on a hanky,and I can't remember what I did with it.
真有點生疏了 I'm getting a bit rusty.
沒事的 Oh, that's all right.
人人都會這樣的 It could happen to anybody.
弗蘭克不會失敗的 來吧 來吧 I brought you Frank's never-fail fudge.You go on about your business.
好香 Smells great.
那是你頭發的氣味 I'll stay out of your hair.
弗蘭克 給我 有點特別的給你 Uh, Frank, let me take that.We've got a surprise for you.
是你30年來的光榮 It's in honor of your 30 years on the force.
諾德伯格 Nordberg.
真不錯 This is really great.
謝謝 各位 Thank you, guys.
那可以令你振作 We thought it might cheer you up.
我們聽到你和珍的事 We heard about you and Jane.
珍...這名字令我想起她來 Jane, Jane.That name will always remind me of her.
我覺得很難過 I feel really bad about all of this.
如果你有什么需要 If there's anything that you need...
打電話給基醫生吧 Dr. Kevorkian's home phone number?
諾德伯格 拼拼這個吧 Nordberg, put it together.
弗蘭克 我們支持你的 Frank, I want you to know we're here for you.
謝謝 Thanks, Ed.
看看誰來了 Well, look who's here.
弗蘭克 你來了真好 Hi, Frank. Nice to see you.
埃德 炸彈案有點線索 Ed, I've got that data for you on the bomb.
有什么發現 What did you find out?
那炸藥是粉狀的 The explosive is a very fine powder.
那像是 It tastes like...
那是種子 不是這案子的 That would be fertilizer, Frank, for another case.
這才是呢 This is what I'm talking about.
檢查報告那是氫化物質 We detected a high quantity of nitroglycerin.
你知道怎么來的嗎 Can you tell us where it came from?
我來告訴你們吧 I'd be glad to.
很久以前 地球是一片泥土 Billions of years ago,the Earth was a molten mass.
我在說這粉末 Ted, I'm talking about the powder.
我們還沒有結果 We haven't got a clue about that.
把尿液樣本給我吧 Let me take that urine specimen.
在現場找到點線索 是紙 We found a detailed list of the bomber's plans at the scenes.On a hunch we analyzed the paper.
有何發現嗎 And you got something?
紙是來自史威達監獄 Yes. The paper came from Statesville Prison.
你確定嗎 Are you sure?
是的 我們分析過紙質纖維 Positive. We analyzed the wood fibers
那是加理島的樹木 and found them to be from the rare Canary Island pine
那些樹木那兒才能生長 which grows only in Oregon.
分布於這幾個地方 Contacting several paper mills in that area led us to a distribution center in Tacoma.
但這是最后的結果 Unfortunately, that's where the trail ended.
你怎知道是史達威監獄 How'd you trace it to Statesville Prison?
信上寫著的 弗蘭克 Right here on the letterhead, Frank.
我們還核對過有嫌疑的字跡 After comparing handwriting samples with every known bomber currently serving a stretch in Statesville,
在監獄發現了一個嫌犯 we came up with a suspect...
羅科達倫 Rocco Dillon.
他在獄中怎么放炸彈 He's masterminding the bombings from inside the prison.
要知道他的動向只有一個方法 Then there's only one way to find out where Rocco's going to strike next.
要派人混進監獄 We'll have to send someone into Statesville Prison.
我來吧 I'll do it.
不能 那不對的 I wouldn't feel right about that.
羅科知道你是員警 你是"死硬" If Rocco finds out you're a cop, you might end up dead.
"死硬"是我的中名 "You might end up dead" is my middle name.
那珍呢 What about Jane?
我不知道她的中名 但我要行動 I don't know her middle name.I need the action.
我要混進去 I'm going inside the big house.
來看看這個吧 I think you might want to see this.
我們在試防盜器 新設計的 We're testing out a prototype for a new anti-carjacking device.
看看它的效果吧 We'll see how it works.
出來 Get out!
不 No!
不要 Don't make me...
那叫丹華捕捉器 We call it the Denver Jockstrap.
退休6個月后 我又再行動了 After being retired for six months, I was finally back in action.
一瞬間我已身處監獄內 Faster than you can say spread 'em, I was inside the cold, gray walls
身處於罪犯之中 of Statesville Prison. I was surrounded by pimps, rapists, and murderers.
和處於洛杉磯的馬場中差不多 It was like being in the stands at a Los Angeles Raiders'game.
要在此生存 要用盡一生經驗 It was going to take all my police experience just to stay alive in here.
經重重困難 最后到達了目的地 After a long and generous cavity search, I finally reached my destination...
高度警戒 maximum security,
全國嚴重罪犯的聚居地 home of some of the most violent sociopaths in the country,
他們最壞的 就是羅科達倫 and the worst of them all, Rocco Dillon.
好的 到里面去 All right, in here.
沒有監獄能困著我的 Ain't no prison yet could hold me.
看看我們兄弟的力量吧 Power to the brothers!
殺白鬼 Kill whitey!Kill whitey!
別吵 Knock it off!
你叫得太難聽 You're chirping awfully loud for a new canary.
別惹我 否則有你好看的 Keep flashing the big eyes,and I'll personally balance and rotate your jaw.
你知道你在跟誰說話 Hey! You know who you talking to?
他是羅科達倫 The man is Rocco Dillon.
你的號碼呢 Where's your prison number?
還沒有 叫我閃電手吧 It's unlisted.Just call me Nick "the Slasher" McGirk.
我告訴你在這我最大 Look, hamhead, I'm the muscle in this pen.
你給我走遠點 小心別惹我 You just stay out of my way.
小心別惹我們 You just watch your step, McGirk.
如果惹我 這兒又要換人了 Take it from me,this place here changes a man.
是嗎 怎樣 Oh, yeah? In what way?
我喜歡白人 I used to be white.
我喜歡操屁股的 I was the drummer for the Osmonds.
玩把戲 他會令你痛得死去活來 Screw with me,he'll make you feel pain like you never felt before.
我知道 我知道了 I know. I remember the Osmonds.
到床去吧 Better hit the rack, McGirk.
好的 等等 Yeah, in a minute.
我要先寫好我的殺人名單 First I want to make up a list of the people I'm going to kill in the next couple of days.
兩分鐘后關燈 Lights out! Lock down in two minutes!
親愛的 我真掛念你 My dearest snooky wookums dumpling buns, I miss you so much.
自從上次被遺棄以來我沒有這么痛苦過 I haven't hurt this bad since the last time I was dumped.
我記得她叫嘉寶娜 I remember it well. Her name was Gabriella.
我們原本要結婚 但在婚禮那天 We were supposed to be married, but on the day of our wedding,
她沒出現 she never showed up.
我傷心 失望 I was heartbroken, destroyed.
我想她或許已經移情別戀了 I figured she had fallen for another man,
可能比我能對她更好的 someone who could do to her
我以為我的生命已經結束 直至有一天 what I never could. I thought my life was over until that one glorious day.
那是你嫁給我的那一天 That was the day you became my wife.
所有朋友都來祝賀 All our friends gathered to celebrate our love.
那像是昨天的事 我們都很開心 It seems like only yesterday. We were all so overjoyed.
我記得我們很想和其他人一起 I remember how we wished
那是我一生中最快樂的一天 we could take everyone with us.
還記得我們計劃未來 That was the happiest day of my life. I'll never forget the plans we made for our future.
一切都那么美好 Things were going to be so perfect.
我們請了你最想用的工人 We were going to get that housekeeper you always wanted.
你們好 Hi, Mr. D. Hi, Mrs. D.
我知道總有天會美夢成真 And I knew that eventually our dream would come true.
有一天 終會有我們的小弗蘭克卓斌 One day we'd have our own little Frank Drebin, Jr.
閉嘴 我們要睡覺 Shut up. I'm trying to get some sleep.
沒用的 她不會回來的 Nah, it's no use. She'll never come back.
You shake my nerves and you rattle my brain
Too much love drives a man insane
You broke my will
But what a thrill
Goodness gracious Great balls of fire
I laughed at love 'cause I thought it was funny
You came along and moved me honey
I changed my mind
This love is fine
Goodness gracious Great balls of fire
趴低 幫我撿起來 Bend over and pick it up for me,
可以嗎 愛人 would you, lover?
沒問題 No problem.
因浴室的事羅科對我改觀了 Rocco could tell from my little escapade in the shower that I was well-endowed with courage.
現在我要混進他們之間了 Now I had to get on the inside. Like a blind man at an orgy,
應該有線索了 I was going to have to feel things out.
泰萊 計劃已經就諸 只有你和我 Tyrone, got the escape plans right here.Just you and me.
賓納也想加入 Burnett wants in, too.
賓納是守衛 Burnett's one of the guards.
我知道 他在這兒很不開心 I know, but he's unhappy here.
好吧 好吧 All right, all right. Whatever.
都在這兒了 Got it all worked out right here.
這是什么 你媽媽的信 What's this?Another letter from your mommy?
那是私人的 Hey, that's private, screw.
那看看這是什么 Let's see what we have.
還給他 Give the man back his letter.
你閉嘴 Buzz off, butter cheeks.
這信有何特別 What's so special about a little letter?
等等 脫逃計劃 Wait a minute. An escape plan.
看來你要多坐20年了 達倫 This is your ticket to another 20 years, Dillon.
如果你給獄長看到 If the warden gets one look at this...
哎 這是人吃的嗎 Hey! You call this slop?
這叫人怎么吃呢 Real slop has got chunks of things in it!
難吃得要命 This is more like gruel!
還有這杯68年的酒 And this Chateau Le Blanc '68,
也應處理得好一點 it's supposed to be served slightly chilled!
看看這里的溫度 This is room temperature!
當我們是什么 禽獸 What do you think we are, animals?
不 - No! - No!
那我們是什么 What are we?
現代人 Homo sapiens?
說得對 You're right!
我們是人 We are men!
不 停手 Don't! No! Stop!
中了 我摸到了 Your left hand blue.Who's got their hand in my pocket?
來吃吧 你能吃得消的 Eat them!Come on, son. You can do it.
吃豆子吧 Eat some beans.
你救了我 不然我現在很麻煩了 You saved my bacon, McGirk.I'd be in solitary right now
別放在心上 if you hadn't done that.
我觀察你很久 你真不錯 Listen, I've been watching you.
是很不錯 You handle yourself really good.
我外面有大買賣 我讓你加入 Really well.I got something big coming up on the outside.I could use you in my gang.
你有大買賣 You got a dental plan?
是的 Full coverage.
我們要先逃出去 We got to bust out of this playpen.
那計劃還在你那嗎 We still have our escape plan. Let's have it.
那是個很好的計劃 It's a good plan.
我有更好的 I've had better.
聽著 天衣無縫的 Listen, I've got a foolproof plan.
天啊 他們抓了泰萊 Oh, my God. They got Tyrone.
我們可以這樣下去嗎 Can't... Can't we all just get along?
泰萊被隔離 剩下我和羅科 Now that Tyrone was in solitary, it was just me and Rocco.
他一定要信任我 He had no choice but to trust me...
小心 Shh! Hold on.
我說服他挖隧道 I convinced Rocco to dig a tunnel. It was that or escape in a laundry truck.
比躲在那洗衣車 The thought of lying in a pile of underwear
在那堆內衣褲中 nose-down in skid marks
都好得多了 didn't leave a good taste in my mouth.
我解決了廢料處理問題 Disposing of the dirt was a problem I solved
起初 我們的進展還不錯的 early in the construction. Outside of some major chafing, we were making good progress.
我們一直在挖 警衛全不察覺 We kept digging. At night, dummies gave the guards the impression we were still in our cell.
關燈了 Lights out.
廢料比我估計的多 There was more dirt than I anticipated.
用了很多旁門左道的方法 Disposing of it was becoming tricky business.
安全上壘 Safe!
99 bottles of beer on the wall
99 bottles of beer
If one of those bottles should happen to fall
98 bottles of beer on the wall
98 bottles of beer
你要到那里去 Where are you going?
在想弗蘭克 是嗎 You're not thinking of Frank again, are you?
他們在放我們的歌 They're playing our song.
我了解 那需要時間 I understand. Take your time.
If one of those bottles should happen to fall
96 bottles of beer on the wall
你好 Well, hello, there.
對不起 Exscuse me
我有很好吃的 一起來好嗎 I'm hauling a load of rice cakes.What do you say to coming with me?
不 謝了 No, thank you.
那給我一個吻吧 Then how about a kiss?
不 No.
女人說不 那代表答應了 When a woman says "no," she means "yes."
來吧 How about that kiss?
來吧 Yes.
怎么了 我知道你的 What do you mean "no"? I know your type.
來吧 我們是天生一對 Come on, baby. We're two of a kind.
天啊 Oh, my God!
你殺了他 You killed him!
那是意外 報警吧 It was an accident. Let's call the police.
有沒有搞錯 你殺人了 Come to your senses. You killed a man.
你是個女英雄呢 You're a hero to every woman in this country.
打給弗蘭克 他會保護我們的 We have to call Frank. He'll protect us.
弗蘭克是男人 Frank is a man.
他會永再見不到你 He'll see you locked away forever.
珍 來吧 我們殺盡所有男人 Jane, I want to join you to help you kill as many men as possible.
好 Yipes!
路易斯 做你應該做的 Louise, do what you have to.
我打給弗蘭克 I'm calling Frank.
那真痛得要命 Oh, boy, did that hurt.
弗蘭克 聽聽電話吧 Be home, Frank, please.Answer the phone, snuggy pants.
弗蘭克 Frank!
我是弗蘭克 Hi, this is Frank.
還有珍 And Jane.
現在家中無人 We're the Drebins. We're not home right now,
請留言吧 so leave a message.
我要按那個按鈕呢 Which button do I press?
不 這個才是 No, not that one.
坦尼婭 是另外一個女人 "Tanya"? It was another woman.
弗蘭克說的是真話 Frank was telling the truth.
蜜月灣路 Honeymoon Bay Road.
他們應該在那兒 I bet they're all alone there right now.
弗蘭克 Oh, Frank!
檢查囚房 Cell inspection.
有謠言傳出 有人要逃獄 There's been a rumor of a possible breakout.
如果知道任何人企圖逃走 If we suspect anyone of attempting to escape,
會受到嚴懲 they will be punished severely.
消息泄漏 我們唯有立即行動 Once word of the escape was out, we had to move quickly
我們到隧道挖最后的一段路程 so we headed for the tunnel. The last few feet had to be dug on the run.
還有47碼就過外墻 47 yards would take us beyond the prison walls.
愿他得到安息 May he rest in peace
在那...主耶穌基督 in the arms of our loving... Jesus Christ!
阿門 Amen.
羅科安排了車來接應 Rocco had arranged for a getaway car to meet us at our destination.
經過一會 我們到達目的地了 After making a slight adjustment in our direction, we finally arrived at the rendezvous point...
洛杉磯的一間高中 a Los Angeles City high school.
差不多了 Hey, that was close.
羅科 她是誰 Hey, Rocco, who's the old hag?
那么丑的 She take one in the face?
她是我媽媽 She's my mother.
達倫太太 你兒子真是個沒人性的 Mrs. Dillon, your son is a ruthless,sadistic, cold-blooded animal.
你應該為他驕傲 You must be very proud of him.
我是的 I am.
媽 我來介紹吧 Ma, I want you to meet a real square egg...
閃電手 Nick "the Slasher" McGirk.
后面有乾凈襯衫 There's fresh clothes in the back.
羅科媽媽很沈靜 Rocco's mom was quiet.
我覺得她當我不存在似的 I had a feeling she didn't care for me coming along.
看來 我計劃成功了 Like a midget at a urinal, I was going to have to stay on my toes.
停車 Hey! Stop!
弗蘭克 Oh, Frank.
那不是我的錯 那牛不應該擋著路 Well, it wasn't my fault.That cow shouldn't have been standing in the road.
快點 你們放蒼蠅進來了 Hurry up. You're letting the flies in.
覺得怎樣 What do you think, kid?
很不錯 It's a great setup.
沒電話 遠離市區 No phone, miles from the nearest town,
花花公子頻道 真不錯 Playboy Channel, perfect.
很好 High stakes,
我來做買賣的 接著怎樣 but I'm here for the action.
我們搶劫銀行嗎 What are we going after,bank, armored car, Dodgers' payroll?
你太多說話了 You're getting a little bit too nosy, McGirk.
媽 放松點吧 Relax, Ma.
她想試試那新槍 She's been itching to try out her new gun.
我知道那感覺怎樣的 I know the feeling.
是坦尼婭 It was Tanya.
那泳衣真美麗 That bathing suit was never happier.
我只能瞄一眼 因此我要小心 I had only a second to admire the view.
如果她認出我 我死定了 I had to watch out. If she made me as a cop,
來吧 I'd be tonight's meat loaf.
你是最性感的 我能看得出來 Come here, sexy.You're all woman.I could tell just by looking at you.
她在跟我說話 Hey, she's referring to me.
我在說你媽媽 Uh... I was talking about your mother.
你穿這樣干嗎 穿點衣服吧 That's no way to be walking around.
你怎會穿了我的泳衣 Get some clothes on.What are you doing in my bathing suit?
那傻瓜是誰 Hey, who's the stud?
他是新加入我們的 I'd like you to meet the newest member of our gang.
閃電手 她叫坦尼婭 Slasher McGirk, meet Tanya Peters.
等等 我見過你嗎 Wait a minute.Don't I know you from somewhere?
我一見他就覺得他是員警 I smelled cop on him the minute I saw him.
我也一樣 內衣廣告常說的 I get that all the time.The underwear ads, played everywhere.
你說你不是員警 Are you saying you're not a cop?
是的 Well, yeah.
真不錯 That's good enough for me.
我也是 真好 - Me, too. - I'm fine.
大家清楚了 All right. Glad that's all cleared up.
媽媽 來吻一下吧 Ma, why don't you two kiss and make up?
好吧 Well, all right.
那才像樣 Now that's more like it.
我要想辦法通知警方 I had to get a message to Police Squad.
看來已很難應付了 This was turning into more than I could handle.
沒有電話 但我找到新希望 No phone and miles from civilization, my prospects looked bleaker than a gerbil's in a bathhouse.
誰在下面 Who's down there?
閃電手 Slasher...
有見到我的鴿子嗎 have you seen my pigeon?
鴿子 什么鴿子 Pigeon? What pigeon?
你在干嗎 What are you doing?
我在計劃下一步 I'm... just contemplating my next move.
你的主教已露出來了 Your bishop is exposed.
沒有 我包得很好的 It's these pants.I usually wear a fuller cut.
你是個真正的男人 我很喜歡 You're all man.
你來得正好 你像廚房中的老鼠 I like that in my men.You're coming on to me big-time, sister.You're purring like a kitten with a fresh mouse,
但我們有點困難 but we got a problem.
你是猶太人嗎 You're Jewish?
不 你是羅科的女人 No. You're Rocco's girl.
我一向是眼動手不動 In my book, that chapter's called"Look, but don't touch."
我可以同時愛兩個人 I could have two lovers.
變態 我喜歡打籃球 Kinky. I like my sex the way I play basketball...
一對一 越少麻煩越好 one-on-one and with as little dribbling as possible.
你很緊張 Oh, you're tense, Slasher.
如果我知道下一步 我能放松下來的 Well, I could relax a little more if I knew what was going on tomorrow.
你不會知道的 是嗎 You wouldn't know anything about that, would you?
我只知道要到城里去 All I know is it's downtown and...
好大 big.
這就對了 That's the way I like it.
還有呢 What else?
只有這個 Just this.
你們在干什么 What are you doing?
謝謝你 真的很感激你 Thank you for the advice. I'll try that recipe out, Miss Peters.
你怎么可以 How could you?
你只需把舌頭伸進他喉里 Just shove your tongue as far down his throat as you can.
你怎會到這兒來的 Oh...Quiet. You're not supposed to know me here.
那是吻別了 That's a good-bye kiss, sister.
怎么了 她是誰 What's all this? Who's the skirt?
是迷路吧 Just some dizzy dame.
可能她車壞了 我帶她到巴士站 Probably her car broke down.I'll take her to the bus depot.
她結了婚的 如果她丈夫來怎辦 She's married.What if her husband comes looking?
他定是個了不起的人 He must be a great guy.
他不守諾言的 He breaks promises.
怎么了 別這樣好嗎 Look at you, traipsing all over, just to spite him.
他離開我了 He left me.
是你離開他 You left him.
你還有話說嗎 You should talk.
聽聽你說什么 - Listen to you. - Listen to you.
你們閉嘴 Jeez, you two, knock it off!
你們像夫妻似的 You'd think you're married.
怎樣處理她 What do you want to do with her?
這兒房間不夠不能留她 Well, one thing's for sure.There's no room for her here.
那轟掉她吧 I say we bump her off.
在這兒擺平她吧 Let's plug her right here.
不 我們把她作人質吧 I've been on jobs where things went hooey.I would have given anything for a hostage.
女人作人質最好 We all know women make the best hostages.
她們身材小 容易攜帶 They're smaller, easy to take along,
吃得少 氣味芬芳 eat less, smell nice.
對 可以拿她談判 Yeah, we got us an insurance policy.
好主意 我們睡覺去吧 Good thinking, kid.
明天有重要事要辦 Now let's get some shut-eye.We got a big day ahead of us.
好的 是時候了 All right, it's rigged.
看著那水塔吧 Keep your eye on the tower, Slasher.
那是今晚要發生的 It's what's going to happen tonight.
那很遠呢 Hey, aren't we awfully far away?
好的 注意塔的頂部 All right, now, pay attention.On the top of that tower's a device
那東西值5百萬的 that's going to net us 5 million bucks.
今晚全世界都會看著 It's a little thing I've been working on.We're going to detonate it at an event the world will be watching.
你真行 Your crowning achievement.
彼此 彼此 媽媽 It's for both of us, Ma.
準備 All set!
準備好了 Set!
令人印象深刻 Very impressive.
好 Cool.
真好 Cool.
這次恐怖行動美國一定低頭 Yes, America will be brought to its knees by this ultimate terrorist act.
那一定會令他們很尷尬 This will be more embarrassing to the United States than Tonya Harding.
我快到了 我不想錯過 We're almost there. I don't want to miss this.
給我問侯加迪夫人吧 Give my regards to Mrs. Khadafy.
告訴她我謝謝她的餅乾 Tell her "thanks" for the cookies.
這是洛杉磯的特別晚上 It's another beautiful night in Los Angeles,
星光齊集於第66屆藝術學院獎 and the stars are shining bright for the 66th annual Academy Awards.
千萬的影迷在等待他們偶像出場 Thousands of fans are clamoring to get a glimpse of their favorite celebrities.
來了 是易哥舜和惠云莉 Here are two of them. It's Weird Al Yankovic and Vanna White.
把她放到后車箱 Slasher, put the dame in the trunk.
我們十分鐘后回來 I'll meet you and Ma around back in 10 minutes.
通行證呢 Got the passes?
弄妥后 那是5百萬呢 We pull this off, it's 5 million big ones.
是的 Not bad.
我會怎樣 What's going to happen to me?
我有主意了 Shh! I have an idea.
好的 你知道你要做什么嗎 All right, Slasher. You know what to do.
我去最人多的地方 Right. Check all the fluid levels.
不 你看著她 No, you muffinhead, the dame.Keep an eye on her.
有麻煩 殺了她 We hit trouble, she's a bullet shield.
各位來賓 Ladies and gentlemen,
大會司儀 here now to present the Academy's Lifetime Achievement Award
詹西蒙 is James Simmons.
準備 給我阿司匹零 Go to clip. Aspirin, please.
三號 開始 四號準備 Go to 3. Ready 4.
今年藝術學院獎有大家從未見過的 This year's Lifetime Achievement Award winner's credits include some of the greatest moments ever captured on celluloid.
1958年的蘭哥 Films such as Sandals and Loincloth, 1958,
流汗的船員 1959 Sweaty Boat Men, 1959,
皮革武士 1960年 The Leather-clad Centurion, 1960,
及66年的第一部彩色電影 and his first color feature in 1966,
長茅 Big Shiny Spears.
好的 就是那人 Okay, there's the man from Bryce/Porterhouse.
他是負責看著信封的 He's the guy that guards the envelopes until they're handed out.
他會寸步不離的 你知道怎做嗎 He's not going to budge from that table.
引開他注意力 我好下手 You know what to do.Distract him so I can plant the bomb.
接受布斯頒獎的瑪嘉麗德 Accepting the award for Mr. Broncowitz is Margaret Redfeather.
我要這樣做 That ought to do it.
你逃不了的 羅科會殺了你 你到底是誰 You'll never get away with this.Rocco's going to kill you, whoever you are.
弗蘭克卓斌 員警 Frank Drebin, Police Squad.
那有點不尋常 Isn't it a little unusual?
已發生過很多次 It's happened to me a couple of times.
聽我的計劃 Now here's the plan.
計劃 這是九死一生的 Your chances are one in a million.
那容易過中樂透 That's still better than any state lottery.
我是好人 不能放過那些奸人 Look, I'm the good guy.
不能讓我們的孩子在恐懼中長大 I can't let the bad guys win.
如果阻止不了 這兒會化成灰燼 Our children can't be raised in fear.They're going to blow that place sky-high.
或可能成功的 It'll be a tragedy,unless, of course, it happens during a dance number.
那無線電能用的嗎 Does that radio work?
叫警隊 說是弗蘭克卓斌 Call Police Squad.Tell them Frank Drebin says...
算了吧 Forget it.
他想怎樣 I wonder what the devil he wanted.
等等 Hold on.
弗蘭克卓斌警官 員警部的 Sergeant Frank Drebin, detective lieutenant, Police Squad.
對 我是勞伯狄尼洛 Yeah, and I'm Robert De Niro.
狄尼洛先生 我們要進去 Mr. De Niro, we've got to get inside.
人人都想進去 滾吧 You and 10,000 other people. Now, move along.
只有明星才能進入 Movie stars only.
來吧 我有個好主意 Come on.I've got a better idea.
到那邊 And cue talent.
頒發最佳女配角是 And now, to present the award for Best Supporting Actress
是瑪素尼和依利奧加 are Mariel Hemingway and Elliott Gould.
謝謝 Thank you.
被提名的最佳女配角 The nominees for Best Supporting Actress are...
瑪莉洛頓 致命事件 Mary Lou Retton... Fatal Affair,
一個女人死了只貓 one woman's ordeal to overcome the death of her cat,
搞出了一場大災難 set against the background of the Hindenburg disaster.
摩根費查的最后建議 Morgan Fairchild... Final Proposal,
一個杰出女人的勝利故事 one courageous pioneer woman's triumphant victory over bulimia,
在一個舞會之中 set against the background of the Donner Party crossing.
真對不起 但警方逼不得已 Very sorry about this, but it's official police business.
珊那杜的基本分析 Shannen Doherty... Basic Analysis,
一個女人在91年水牛節的命運 one woman's triumph over a yeast infection,set against the tragic Buffalo Bills' season of 1991.
謝謝你 警長 Thank you, Sheriff.
還沒有弗蘭克和羅科的消息 Still no word of Frank or Rocco and his gang.
我真有點擔心 Frankly, I'm getting worried.
弗蘭克應該打電話來的 Frank should have phoned in by now.
看看你們的入場券吧 Let me just check your tickets, folks.
很好看 新做的 Lovely gown. Is that Cool Whip?
添和艾莉嘉 謝謝 Uh-huh.Tim and Erica Brown. Enjoy the show.
啊 云納威和惠娜 Let's see, Vanna White and Weird Al Yankovic.
好的 慢慢欣賞吧 Okay, enjoy the awards.
準備...3 Ready 3... and 3!
弗蘭克茜安迪舜的建議分析 And Florence Henderson... Analysis of a Proposal...
羅科可能在那兒呢 Rocco could be anywhere.
他要炸了這里 能在那兒 He had time to plant the bomb. Where could it be?
得獎的是 The winner is...
這可能很有爆炸性的 This is going to be dynamite.
你在想我所想的 是的 Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
應該是弗蘭克茜安迪舜勝出了 Florence Henderson is going to win,and it's about time.
不 炸彈可能在信封里 No! The bomb is in one of those envelopes.
對 You're right!
得獎的是 And the winner is...
瑪莉洛頓的致命事件 Mary Lou Retton for Fatal Affair.
對不起 我們擁護弗蘭克茜安迪舜 Sorry. We were rooting for Florence Henderson.
快去找其他的信封吧 We've got to get to those envelopes before they open any more of them.
想不到會有那么多的 I never realized there'd be this many.
他們多了75個獎 They added 75 new categories.
哥倫比亞最佳男主角 "Best Actor in a Columbus Movie"?
頒發最佳導演獎的 To present the award for Best Director,
是麗歌惠茱 is star of stage and screen... Raquel Welch
還有...菲力當力 and the host of his own award-winning talk show... Phil Donahue.
那可能是炸彈 That might be the envelope with the bomb.
繼續找 Keep looking here.
等等 當力先生 One more second, Mr. Donahue.
天啊 當力怎么了 Oh, my God! Look at Donahue!
停了那樓梯 Stop the stairs, Joey. Joey!
謝謝 Thank you.
各位 很榮幸我能在此頒發 Ladies and gentlemen,it's my pleasure to present the award...
搞什么 What the hell?
天啊 Jesus!
放廣告吧 Go to commercial.
小心 告訴我 怎么了 Easy, now, easy.Talk to me. What happened, Ma?
閃電手是警察 Slasher is Frank Drebin of Police Squad.
那他媽的混蛋 That lousy, two-bit, copper punk!
我把他當兄第 我不殺他 I treat him like my brother,
他可能找到炸彈的 the one I didn't kill.
如果我先找到他就不會 He might find the bomb.Not if I find him first.
5秒鐘后繼續 Back from commercial in five seconds.
快點吧 Hurry with the mike and cue Donahue, in 3, 2...
讀出來吧 笨蛋 Read it. Read the card, moron.
麗歌 真特別的一個晚上 "Well, Raquel, this certainly is a special evening.
我透不過氣來 Whew!I can barely catch my breath."
到麗歌了 "Turn it over to Raquel."
麗歌說...我常透不過氣來 "Raquel: 'I'm used to being out of breath, working out..."'
他在干什么 What's he doing?
等等 先讓太家喝采 "Hold for laughter and applause."
到菲力 看來你真透不過氣來呢 "To Phil: 'Gets me out of breath just watching you."'
到麗歌了 啊 菲力... "To Raquel: 'Oh, Phil..."'
那應該是我說的 I'm supposed to read that.
讓我們來拆開信封 "But let's get to the subject at hand.""Pick up the envelope..."
被提命的導演有 The nominees for Best Director are...
李察亞登堡爵士 Sir Richard Attenborough
他的音樂劇 for his musical based on the life of Mother Teresa...
《母親》 Mother.
Food I love food
And I'm really in the mood
For a big corn dog or pupu platter
Two Ding Dongs it doesn't matter
Add some Tuna Helper
I'll be racing back for more
But don't add any salsa
'Cause I'll blow chunks on the floor hey
Ooh
Ya-hoo
史北里的"貨物" Spike Lee... X Two, The Merchandising.
諾德伯格 來看看 Nordberg, look!
是弗蘭克在藝術學院獎現場 That's Frank at the Academy Awards.
他怎拿到入場券的 How'd he get tickets?
諾德伯格 Nordberg!
是羅科的計劃 他要炸藝術學院獎 That's where Rocco Dillon is going to strike next.He's planning on blowing up the Academy Awards.
我們要立即出去那兒 We've got to get there.
我們沒被邀請的 我們是警察 Captain, we're not invited. We're cops.
你的電話 It's for you.
諾德伯格 Nordberg,
員警部 Police Squad.
喂 喂 Hello? Hello?
走吧 快 All right, let's go! Hustle!
韓德森 看看這電話是否壞了 Henderson, see about this phone. I think it's broke.
今天六合彩的號碼是 And now, here are today's Lucky Lotto numbers.
準備 來了 Get your tickets ready, 'cause here they come...
12 22 18和9 12, 22, 18 and 9.
最后的是特別退休獎 And for his tale of genetics gone haywire in a retirement community,
史提芬史不堡的《豬羅記公園》 Steven Spielberg... Geriatric Park.
得獎者是... And the winner is...
麗歌 等等 我有個主意 Uh,Raquel, just a second. I just had a thought.
天啊 Oh, Christ!
這是全球性的表演 This show is being seen all over the world.
如果我們可通過這鏡頭 I was thinking, if we could send good thoughts,
給中國的領導人 transmit through these cameras,
永華胡東 to the leader of China...Wing Wow Woo Tong...
那他們一定會轉好的 so that they might finally be nice.
謝謝 Thank you.
得獎者是 And the winner is...
麗歌 有很多在挨餓的人 Uh, Raquel, so many go to bed hungry in this nation.
貓食物是鮪魚做的 Yet, cat food's full of tuna.
每次到動物園去都令我想起 I can't help think each time I go to the zoo
將海豚放到小水池中 and see those porpoises crammed into tiny tanks
那真的是一種浪費 what a waste that is.
如果屠殺一半的海豚 會有幾百磅的肉 Butcher half of them now.That's hundreds of pounds of dolphin meat
貓吃海豚更好 that could be fed to our cats,
鮪魚給挨餓的人吃吧 freeing up that tuna for our nation's hungry.
得獎者是 And... the winner is...
很多饑寒交迫的人 So many are, uh, cold,
我認為應該殺了那些貓兒 shivering in the night. So I say,take those cats,
用它們的毛來做衣服取暖 skin them,use their fur to keep hundreds warm.
天啊 菲力 Jesus, Phil!
得獎者是 And the winner is...
你 給我 - You! - Give me that!
不要動 Not one move.
那槍管很冷 That barrel's cold.
室溫問題 來吧 It's room temperature. Let's go.
沒問題了 這不是炸彈 It's okay. It's not the bomb.
啊 不要 Ohh!
珍 Jane?
有麻煩了 Big trouble... aah!
珍... Jane?
銀色頭發 Silver hair...
大概6尺2寸 About 6' 2"...
像菲力的 Looked like Phil Donahue.
珍 Jane...
就是他 That's the guy!
抓他 Get him!
各位來賓 Ladies and gentlemen,
讓我們來歡迎國際巨星 please welcome internationally renowned actress and singing star...
菲雅莎度 Pia Zadora.
You're walkin' along the street
Or you're at a party...
他在那兒 There he is!
對不起 Excuse me?
看看你的鞋吧 Isn't that snot on your shoe?
找不到他 We've lost him!
我找這里 你到那邊去 I'll stay here. You check the wings.
That this could be the start of somethin' big
不 別再來 Oh, no! Not him again.
天啊 Please, God.
他跑掉了 He got away.
Who knows what's written in that magic book
But when a lover you discover
At the gate my friend
Invite him in without a second look
You're watchin' the sun come up
Or countin' your mon...
捉著他 別到臺上去 - Get off the stage! - Grab him!
我叫埃德 他是諾德伯格 員警部的 I'm Ed Hocken. This is Officer Nordberg, from Police Squad.
我們來阻止一場大災難 We're here to prevent a disaster.
你來遲了 You're too late for that.
You're watchin' the sun come up
那是弗蘭克呢 Hey, it's Frank.
Or countin' your money
Or else in a dim cafe
You're orderin' wine
Then suddenly there he is
You want to be where he is
來 諾德伯格 我們到弗蘭克那兒去 Come on, Nordberg. We've got to get Frank.
The start of somethin'
This could be the heart of somethin'
This could be the start of somethin'
Big
珍 Jane!
最后也抓到你了 Aha!I knew I'd bump into you somewhere.
說出吧 甜心 I want answers, cherry cakes.
我愛你 - I love you. - Wrong answer.
說錯了 I've dropped out of the "Sap of the Month" Club.
我已很久沒有鬼混了
聽著 那是你最后的機會 Listen, angel drawers, you've got one last chance.
我認真的 那是最后機會 And I don't mean a major league baseball,Steve Howe kind of last chance.
珍在那兒 Now, where is Jane?
我不知道 I don't know.
那炸彈在哪兒 Okay, where's the bomb?
在最佳電影獎的信封內 In the Best Picture envelope.
卓斌先生 老實說 我已厭倦了 Oh, Mr. Drebin, I want to go straight.I'm tired of the lies.
來吻我吧 Oh, kiss me.
吻我好嗎 Please kiss me.
我從未吻過那么純真的人 I've never kissed lips so innocent,
那么純情的 so pure.
他很像菲當力 白頭發 He looked like Phil Donahue, white hair...
就是他 That's the guy!
弗蘭克 Frank?
我去追他吧 I'll get him, Captain.
各位 頒發最佳電影獎的是 Ladies and gentlemen, are two of America's most distinguished actors...
兩位不同的演員 to present the Best Picture award
奧巴德根和詹士亞中司 Olympia Dukakis and James Earl Jones.
天啊 那是什么 Lord, what's that?
是菲當力在大喇叭中嘔吐著呢 Looks like Phil Donahue throwing up in a tuba.
記著 明年不再用菲當力 Someone make a note.We shouldn't have Phil Donahue back next year.
謝謝 謝謝各位 Thank you. Thank you. Good evening.
很榮幸我們能頒發這個大獎 It's a privilege for us to present the final award of tonight's ceremony.
我們很擔心你呢 We've been worried about you.
羅科呢 坦尼婭呢 Where's Rocco? Where's Tanya?
坐下來吧 Sit down. Take it easy.
謝天謝地 你沒事 Thank God you're okay.
不禮貌的本性 ... Indecent Instincts, and Sawdust and Mildew.
他們的票房都很不錯 Every one of these movies was a box office hit,
除了一影片外 except for one.
那是什么 What's that?
那是最佳電影獎 The Best Picture award.
我買了那部電影贏的 My money's on Sawdust and Mildew.
奧巴 你來吧 Olympia, would you do the honors, please?
天啊 Oh, my God!
就是那信封 That's the one!
最佳電影是 The award for this year's Best Picturegoes to...
等等 Wait!
天啊 Oh, great.
對不起 謝謝你 也謝謝你 Sorry about this.
讓我來開吧 Loved you in Coneheads. You, too.Let me open this.
是炸彈的 It's the bomb!
別動就不會有人受傷 Freeze and nobody gets hurt!
好的 立即回座位去 Well,from now on.Back in your seats, you little weasels!
大會結束了 This program's been permanently interrupted.
別緊張 繼續吧 Don't panic. Stay with it.
2號拍老婦人 Camera 2, move in on the old lady.
退回來吧 Better move back, 2.
我說別動 No one move!
坐下來 聽著 Sit down! Now, pay attention!
除非有需要否則我不想殺人 I don't want to kill nobody unless I have to.
好的 把槍丟過來 All right, drop your guns and kick them over here.
那炸彈屬於我的 I believe that bomb belongs to me.
遞過來吧 卓斌 Hand it over, Drebin.
媽 想我殺了他嗎 You want to kill him, Ma?
眨眼睛我就開槍 Blink and I start shooting.
把槍給我 Give me that gun!
天啊 Oh, my God!
我不會中計的 I'm not falling for that one, sister.
我有事 幫幫忙好嗎 I'm not well!Get this stupid thing off me!
媽媽 Ma!
她死了 羅科 She's a goner, Rocco.
死了 媽媽 我來陪你 Dead. Then that's it.I'm coming with you, Ma!
拉出炸彈 否則我殺了她 Pull out the bomb. You don't, I'll shoot the dame.
好的 羅科 我照你吩咐吧 All right, Rocco. All right.I'll do what you say.
弗蘭克... Frank...
別傷害他 Just don't harm her.
你引爆 我會死 所有人也都會死 You pull out the bomb, you'll kill me and everyone else.
不能了 羅科 Yeah. No dice, Rocco.
那我殺了她 Then I'll plug her.
你殺她 我拉炸彈出來 You shoot her, I'll empty this envelope.
弗蘭克 考慮一下吧 Frank, think about it.
沒事的 那時你已經死了 It's okay. You'll be dead.
那你和這兒的人都會死掉 Then you'll kill yourself and everyone here.
是的 Yeah.
你不照我吩咐我殺了你 I'll shoot you if you don't do as I say.
珍 Jane?
我不會有事 其他人也不會有事 I'd be safe with everyone else,
但你會死呢 but you'd be dead.
看來有點復雜呢 羅科 This is getting complicated, Rocco.
邏輯點吧 Let's look at this logically.
你是瘋的 信封該是你的 You're the psychotic. You should have the envelope.
那槍該是我的 I should have the gun.
弗蘭克 Frank
我知道我在做什么 I know what I'm doing.
好的 All right!
這是全世界最好的場面了 Here's your Best Picture!In front of the world,this place is going up.
如果要死也應該開心點 Well, if I'm going out, I'm going out happy.
等等 羅科 Wait a minute, Rocco.
引爆之前 Before we're all blown to bits,
我可以把內褲脫掉嗎 mind if I pull the underwear out of my crack?
我寧可死得舒服一點 A man's got to go comfortable.
好吧 快點 All right, but that's it.
投降吧 羅科 你玩完了 Give it up, Rocco. You're history.
看 佐治漢美頓 Look, George Hamilton!
來抓我吧 卓斌 Come and get me, Drebin.
把槍拋給我 Throw me a gun!
快弄妥那炸彈 Get rid of the bomb!
抓著 甜心 Hold on, sweetheart.
弗蘭克 救我 Oh! Frank, help me!
弗蘭克... Frank...
我知我在干什么的 I know what I'm doing.
我懼高的 I hate heights!
不 Ohh! Oh, no!
走吧 Move it, sister!
去他的廣告 我們有狀況了 Screw the commercials! We're sticking with this.
好的 你殺了我媽媽 All right, copper, you killed my ma!
我要了你的女人 I'm taking the dame away from you.
你聽到嗎 You hear me, copper?
再來 卓斌太太要作古人了 One push and Mrs. Drebin becomes linoleum.
到上面拍 不管怎樣這是最好的 Get a camera up there. This could be my best work.
你有什么遺言嗎 Any last words before I throw you off?
有的 別這樣做 Yes. Don't do it.
還有嗎 Anything else?
弗蘭克 我愛你 Frank, I love you.
我想全世界都知道你是好人 Yes, I want the world to know you're the perfect man.
弗蘭克 我希望你能聽到 Frank, I hope you can hear me.
我不能播話劇的 They said I couldn't do drama.
我錯了 我不應該要你離開警隊 I was wrong.Taking you away from Police Squad was a mistake.
那是你性無能的原因 I know, now, that's why you couldn't perform decent sex.
我現在知道了 I realize that, now,
還有很多事 and other things.
一切已受控制 Everything's under control.
大家別動 Nobody move!
任何震動都會引爆的 Any vibration may set this thing off.
弗蘭克 我得到教訓了 Frank, I've learned my lesson.
或可能太遲了 And though it may be too late for me,
我想忠告所有的女仕 I want all you ladies to remember something.
千萬別不管你男人的死活 Don't ever take your men for granted,
因為好男人不會從天而降的 because good men don't just fall out of the sky.
他被電纜纏著的 He's caught up in the cable.
弗蘭克 想想辦法 Frank, do something!
快點 Hurry!
媽 我來了 I'm coming, Ma!
羅科 Rocco?
柏斯馬 Papshmir?
珍 我不想再分開 Jane,I never want us to be apart again.
啊 弗蘭克 Oh, Frank.
你喜歡我 真的喜歡我 You like me. You really like me!
9個月后
弗蘭克 慢慢走吧 slow down.
快點 我們來遲了 Hurry up! We're late!
放松點 有的是時間 Relax. We've got plenty of time.
有手提錄影機嗎 You bring the camcorder?
有 幾號房 Right here. What room's she in?
產房 一定是這兒了 Delivery room. This must be it.
珍 我來了 弗蘭克來了 Jane, I'm here. Frank is here.
用力吧 - Aah! - Push!
來了 Here it comes now.
深呼吸 珍 Breathe, honey. Breathe, Jane.
再用力 行了 One more push. That's it.
恭喜你 是男孩 Congratulations, Dad, it's a boy.
諾德伯格 Nordberg!
你給我回來 You come back here!
弗蘭克 是男的 Frank, it's a boy.
我知道 I know.
You're walkin' along the street
Or you're at a party
Or else you're alone
And then you suddenly dig
You're lookin' in someone's eyes
You suddenly realize
That this could be the start of somethin' big
There's no controllin' the unrollin'
Of your fate my friend
Who knows what's written in that magic book
And when a lover you discover
At the gate my friend
Invite him in without a second look
You're watchin' the sun come up
Or countin' your money
Or else in a dim cafe
You're orderin' wine
And suddenly there he is
You want to be where he is
And this must be the start of somethin'
This could be the heart of somethin'
This could be the start of somethin' big
You're watchin' the sun come up
Or countin' your money
Or else in a dim cafe
You're orderin' wine
Then suddenly there he is
You want to be where he is
And this could be the start of somethin'
This could be the heart of somethin'
This could be the start of somethin'
Big