他睡着了没？ ls he asleep yet?
嗯，我带他回房间 Yeah, l'll go put him to bed.
劳凯利的歌总是有用 R. Kelly always does the trick.
艾文好像长疹子了 l think Evan may be developing a rash.
药膏不能只抹在屁股两边 You know, when you rub the Aquaphor on his tush, you can't Just put it on his cheeks,
肛门也要抹 you have to rub it all over the anus, too.
肛门也要，懂了 All over the anus, got it.
我去洗澡啰 l think l'm going to take a bath, okay?
好，宝贝，去吧 Okay, babe. Go for it.
这次不会被抓到了 Not this time.
好，来吧，来吧 Okay, come on, come on, come on, come on, come on. Okay.
“无聊工作档案夹”
“超级淫荡大学生”
好耶 Yep.
耶，你喜欢来硬的，对吧 WOMAN: Oh, yeah, you like it naSty, don't you?
对，抱歉，我认罪 Oh, l do. l do, l'm sorry. Guilty as charged. (CHUCKLES)
天啊，你好大，痛死我了 God, you're So big, it hurtS.
我知道，我也没办法 l know, l can't help it.
来吧，爹地，快给我… Give it to me, daddy. Oh, yeah. Give it to me, daddy. Give it to me... Oh, yeah.
爹地？ EVAN: Daddy?
艾文！挖哩咧… Evan! What the...
你会开门了？ You're opening doors now? How did...
我看到怪物 - 什么？ l saw a monster. A what?
用手指插我屁眼 WOMAN: Stick your finger in my aSShole.
天啊 God. (WOMAN MOANS)
干，耶！喔，耶！ Fuck, yeah! Fuck, yeah! Come on, come on, come on. Fuck, yeah!
我要你射在我的… I want you to come all over my...
喔，我的天啊 (lN FALSETTO) Oh, my God!
艾文，不要摸！ Evan, don't touch that!
不要… Don't...
爹地流血了 Daddy, boo-boo.
哇咧… What the...
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
好，待在那别动 Okay, don't move. Stay here.
爹地需要OK绷 Daddy needs a Band-Aid.
米雪儿？ Michelle?
妈咪，爹地，你们还好吗？ Mommy, Daddy, are you okay?
美国派4：美国重逢
“你的婚姻缺乏性趣吗？”
我是吉姆李文斯丁 Jim Levenstein.
公司怎么还没派助理给你？ They still haven't gotten you an assistant yet, huh?
抱歉，我一直想回你电话 Kev, l'm sorry, l've been meaning to call you back.
我只是… - 很忙？ l've Just been... BuSy?
我懂 l get it.
听好，我很快说完 Look, l'll make this quick, okay?
你要参加同学会吗？ The reunion, you in?
等等，真的有吗？ Hold on, is that really happening?
有啊，你去看脸书 Yeah, man, check your Facebook.
虽然10周年已经过了两三年… Look, I know they miSSed the ten-year by a couple,
但好像大家都会参加 but, you know, SeemS like people are actually going.
亲爱的 - 嘿！ Hey, hon. Hey!
晚餐好香噢 Mmm. Dinner smells great.
嗨，艾莉 - 嗨，吉姆 Hey, Ellie. ELLlE: Hey, Jim.
等一下要看“千金求钻石”完结篇 Ooh, Bachelorette finale later.
还有“贵妇的真实生活” And don't forget, we still have to watch Real HouSewiveS.
是啊，我怎么会忘记呢 Yeah, how could l forget?
你知道我最喜欢的贵妇是谁？ Hey, Kev, you know who my favorite housewife is?
你 You.
不好笑 Very funny.
我爱我老婆… Look, l love my wife,
但我得跟麻吉们过个周末 but l need a weekend with the guys.
来吧，我们早几天到，不约史提勒 Come on, we'll go a few dayS early. No Stifler thiS time.
就你、我、奥斯和芬奇 Just you, me, Oz and Finch.
是啊，祝你好运 Yeah, well, good luck with that.
我听说连芬奇他妈都不知道他在哪 l heard Finch's mom doesn't even know where he is.
奥斯呢？ And what about Oz?
他这么忙，你觉得他会去吗？ l mean, do you really think he would come with all he has going on?
“体育观点”
欢迎回到“体育观点” And we're back here on SportS View,
今天的特别来宾是查德 with my special guest, Chad Ochocinco.
查德，哪一支大学足球强队 Chad, which college football powerhouse
在今年征选会上会得到最多青睐？ is gonna have the most players drafted in this year's draft?
我会选我的母校奥瑞冈州大学 l'm gonna have to go with my alma mater, the Oregon State.
拜托！你吃错药吗？ Come on, man! What are you smoking, Ocho?
你觉得我乱讲？帮帮忙，看这段影片 You think I don't know what I'm talking about? Do me a favor, take a look at the tape.
宝贝，我到家了！ Hey, babe, l'm home!
今天与查德的专访到此结束 And that wrapS it up for my Special gueSt, Chad Ochocinco.
我是克里斯奥斯… ThiS iS ChriS OStreicher
继续玩下去喔！玩咖们！ reminding you to play on, (lN FALSETTO) playa!
米雅？ Hey, Mia?
天啊，太好笑了 Oh, my gosh! So funny. (LAUGHlNG)
嘿，宝贝！ Oh, hey, baby!
我刚刚才在看你的节目 l was Just watching your show a minute ago.
喔，是吗？ Oh, yeah?
你没事吧？ ls everything okay?
妳自己说啊，妳跟别的男人在泡澡 You tell me. You're in the hot tub with another dude.
你吃迪尚的醋？ You are worried about Deshaun?
你好可爱喔！ Aw, that is so cute!
迪尚是我跟你提过的室内设计师 Deshaun's the interior decorator l told you about.
嘿，克里斯！ Hey, Christopher!
衣服脱掉！一起来吧 Strip down! Come Join us.
改天吧，迪尚 Maybe next time, Deshaun.
“名人来尬舞”
我还是不懂干嘛要找室内设计师 l still don't get why we need an interior decorator.
家里要金碧辉煌，杂志拍起来才好看 Because the place needs to look perfect for the InStyle shoot.
宝贝，相信我 Babe, trust me.
记得你本来不想参加跳舞比赛吗？ Remember how you didn't wanna go on Celebrity Dance Off at first?
看看你现在有多少粉丝 Now think of all the fans you have.
差点忘了，马力欧罗培兹要开趴 Oh! l almost forgot, Mario Lopez is having a Memorial Day party.
我跟他说我们会参加 l told him we're in.
其实… 我周末想去参加高中同学会 (CHUCKLES) Actually, l was thinking about going to my high school reunion that weekend.
你去的话，那我也要去 Well, if you're going, l'm going, too.
真的吗？ - 对啊 Really? Yeah.
好 All right.
我的米雅，电话，如梦打来的 Mia, love, phone call. lt's Rumer.
妈的，我来接 Oh, shit, let me talk to her.
你干嘛学我穿衣服，贱人？ What's with you Jacking my style, bitch?
我能帮你什么吗，克里斯？ DESHAUN: Anything l can get for you, Christopher?
早安，同事与败类！ Morning, co-workers and cock-Jerkers!
瑞吉，握一下 - 很帅喔，史提勒 Reggie, give me some love. Looking good, Stifler.
去工作，公司不是请妳们来当花瓶的 Ladies, better be working hard, you weren't hired for your looks.
其实妳是 Actually, you were.
妳绝对不是 Not you. (WOMAN SCOFFS)
开玩笑吧 Seriously?
你还在这干嘛？不是被开除了吗？ Bob, what are you doing here? Don't you know they fired your ass?
什么？ What? (LAUGHS)
我闹你的啦 l'm Just fucking with you.
我说真的 Or am l?
美女，来点咖啡？ Coffee for the pretty lady?
好啊，谢谢 Sure, thanks.
要加奶“精”请跟我说 Let me know if you want some creamer with that.
哈啰，妳好吗？ Hello, you. How are you?
“我很好，史大炮，因为你最棒了” ''Oh, l'm good, Stifmeister, 'cause you know what? 'Cause you're the best.''
我最棒 - 对，你最棒 ''Oh, l am the best.'' ''Yes, you are the...''
我好爱妳，所以我们来玩玩吧 ''You know, l love you so much that l'm going to Just have some fun down here. ''Oh, yeah, yeah...''
你他妈在干什么？ - 哇咧！ What the hell are you doing? Jesus Christ!
靠，抱歉，我只是在… Shit, sorry, Mr. Duraiswamy. lt's... l was Just...
好了，擦干净了 Huh? That's good, it's all clean.
我叫你把早上的数字印出来放我桌上 l told you to print out the morning numbers and put them on my desk,
你却把这里当自己家一样 and you're making yourself at home?
不，我只是想… - “我只是想…” No, l Just thought... (MOCKlNG) ''l Just thought...''
我不是付钱叫你这工读生来想的 l don't pay you to think. You are a temp.
关于这个，我觉得我在这大材小用 Yeah, about that. l feel like l'm being way underutilized here.
喔，是吗？ Oh, you do, do you?
谢谢你告诉我你的感觉 Thank you for telling me how you feel.
那我说说我的感觉 Do you mind if l tell you how l feel?
我觉得，你越早认清你是个下贱员工 l feel the sooner you realize that you're the bitch,
不是老板… not the boss,
你会比较好过 (WHlSPERlNG) the better off you will be.
操你妈 - 你说什么？ (WHlSPERS) Fucker. What was that?
没有！ Nothing!
没有，杜雷司瓦米先生 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy.
操你妈！ (LOUDLY) Fucker!
“欢迎光临东大瀑布”
你知道，我们还没谈… You know, we still haven't discussed the whole
浴缸的事情 bathtub incident.
喔，那个嘛 Huh? Oh, that? That's...
别在意 That... Don't worry about that.
我是说，我比较希望… Well, l mean, you know, obviously,
让妳爽的是我，但… l would prefer it if l was the one that made you feel that way, but...
我知道你的感觉 l know how you feel.
每次我想上“博客来”购物 Every time l want to shop online and l start typing ''Amazon,''
出现的网址总是“勃起来” ''amazingcollegesluts.com'' pops up.
什么？ Amazing what?
好吧，很显然… Okay, look, obviously
我们需要多嘿咻 we need to have more fun together.
我保证，这个周末… l promise you, this weekend,
我们会有很多时间独处，好吗？ there is going to be plenty of Jim and Michelle time, okay?
嘿！ - 哈啰，甜心 Hey! Hello, sweetheart.
好高兴见到妳 - 嘿，爸 lt's so good to see you. JlM: Hey, Dad.
哈啰，儿子！过来 Hello, son! Come here. Hi! Hi!
看看这是谁 LEVENSTElN: Oh, no! Look who that is!
看看这个猛男，我的天啊！ Look at this big bruiser! Oh, my goodness!
他长大了 - 看看他！ He has grown. LEVENSTElN: Look at him! Huh?
有人尿裤子啰 Someone's got a little poopy diaper.
吉姆？ Jim?
真不敢相信是你 l can't believe it's you.
你不记得我了，对吧？ You don't remember me, do you?
还记得天线宝宝星期二吗？ Uh... Remember Teletubby Tuesdays?
卡拉？ Kara?
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
怎么会？妳长大了 What? You're not a kid anymore.
我不需要保姆已经很久了 lt's been a long time since l needed a babysitter.
真不敢相信妳长这么大了 l can't believe how much you've grown up.
谢了 Thanks!
其实明天是我18岁生日 lt's actually my 18th birthday tomorrow.
18岁，哇 Eighteen, wow.
你应该来我的派对 You should come to my party.
谢谢，不了，有点走不开 Thank you, no. l... Yeah, that might be difficult.
拜托嘛，我好希望你来 Please, l want you to come so bad.
卡拉！我们得走了 Hey, Kara! We gotta go.
好啦，别急嘛 Okay, relax.
那是阿杰，别提了 That's AJ. Don't ask.
希望明天可以见到你 Hopefully l will see you tomorrow.
怎样啦？ - 他妈的那是谁？ What? AJ: Who the fuck was that?
嘿，亲爱的 - 嘿 Hey, sweetie. Hey.
你在跟谁说话？ Who were you talking to?
只是个隔壁的孩子 That was Just the kid next door.
“准备好迎接千禧年了吗？”
“剃光光杂志”
哈啰，我的老友们 Hello, my old friends.
我本来想统统丢掉… l thought about throwing them out,
但它们对你太重要了 but they Just have too much sentimental value.
是啊 (CHUCKLES) Yeah.
喔，吉姆，吉姆，吉姆 Oh, Jim, Jim, Jim.
我还记得你只是个小孩 You know, l can remember when you were Just a little guy.
现在你都有自己的小孩了 And now you've got your own little guy.
我知道 l know.
转眼间他就会变成青少年 And before you know it, he's gonna be a teenager...
你就要教他打手枪… And you'll be teaching him about masturbation
所有该与不该的老二守则 and, you know, all the do's and all the don'ts that have to do with the little guy's weenie. Okay. Right?
希望他到时那里也粗壮了 Hopefully, it'll be more of a bratwurst by the time he's a teenager...
好啦，爸，我懂了 Okay, Dad, l get it. ...but l'm Just...
这些都是你要面对的事 Well, these are things you're gonna have to deal with.
我了解，但他才两岁 l understand. lt's Just, you know, he's two.
是啊，也许你还有时间 Well, yeah, maybe you've got time, but...
我不想谈他的老二，你好吗，爸？ So, you know, l Just, l'd rather not talk about his penis.
我很好 How you doing, Dad? l'm good.
你都做什么消遣？最近有看电影吗？ Yeah? What are you doing for fun? You seen any movies lately?
你妈和我以前常看电影 Well, you know, your mother and l did go to a lot of movies.
她过世三年了，爸 You know, it has been three years since she passed, Dad.
城里一定有人可以陪你看电影 There's gotta be someone in town you can see a movie with.
现在你回来，我们今晚就去看吧 l have you now. We'll see a movie tonight, you and me.
今晚？ (STUTTERlNG) Tonight?
我跟兄弟们晚上约在酒吧 Well, l made plans with the guys, to meet up with them tonight at the bar... Oh. But... Yeah, yeah...
但我不一定要去，可以改明天 But l don't need to do that. l can do that tomorrow.
不，不，你就是为了同学会回来的 No. No, no, no, no. This is why you're in town, isn't it?
你去吧，我没事 No, no, no. You go. l'll be fine.
我今晚打算待在家里看看书 l was Just planning on staying in tonight and, you know, doing a little reading.
喔，不是看这个，不是 Oh, not this. No. No.
不过我记得读过一篇很有趣的文章 Although, l do remember reading a very interesting article
跟巴西有关 on something Brazilian.
这几页都黏在一起了 Boy, these pages are all stuck together here.
我来处理 l got it.
凯文 - 嘿！ Kev. Hey!
你好吗？ - 吉姆 What's up, man? Jim.
嘿，兄弟们！ Hey, guys!
奥斯 - 他来了 Oz. There he is.
你来了 You made it.
我错过你的婚礼，这次不能再错过了 Hey, l missed your wedding, l wasn't gonna miss this.
嘿，兄弟 - 你好吗，伙伴？ Hey, buddy. What's up, pal?
见到你真好 - 是啊 Good to see you. Yeah, man.
嘿，凯文！ Hey, Kev!
看起来不错嘛，看看你！ Looking good, look at you!
别这样啦 Oh, stop it. Come on.
男士们 Gentlemen.
芬奇？ - 芬奇！ Finch? Finch!
见到你真棒，吉姆 Oh, my God! lt great to see you, James. Changed at all, Jim.
见到你真好，兄弟 Good to see you, pal.
我以为你不来了 l didn't think you were gonna make it. Finch, how are you, man?
北京的麻烦解决后，我搬去杜拜 So, after my troubles in BeiJing, l Just moved to Dubai,
沉溺在赌博的黑暗世界里 and then l got all caught up in the world of underground baccarat.
2009年剩下的日子都在非洲部落混 Spent the rest of '09 living with this African tribe.
他们还封我为荣誉族人 Oh, they made me an honorary tribesman.
那看起来很痛 Whoa, that looks like it hurt.
因为真的很痛，凯文 lt looks like that because it did hurt, Kevin.
之后，我骑单车游遍南美洲 Since then, l've Just been biking through South America.
所以，基本上你是全世界最有趣的人 So, basically, you are the most interesting man in the world.
我猜… Yeah. Let me guess,
你们是来参加同学会的吧？ you guys are here for the reunion, huh?
没错，99年毕业班 You got it. Class of '99.
我在哪里见过你？ Haven't l seen you before?
是啊，我上电视 Yeah, l'm on TV.
不，不是你 No, not you.
是你 You.
你看起来好面熟 'Cause, your face, you're Just so familiar.
对了！这就是你，对吧？ Yeah! Yeah, this is you, right? (ALL LAUGHlNG) KEVlN: Oh! Man, Nadia!
再来，再来，你这个坏男孩！ More, more, you bad boy!
我以为我都删掉了 l swear l had these all taken down. How did you...
你到底早泄了几次？ Oh, yeah. How many times did you pre-eJaculate again?
别闹他 Oh, leave him alone.
我想当时你们都是饥渴的处男 l bet you were all desperate virgins back then.
瑟琳娜维嘉 Selena Vega.
这就是瑟琳娜维嘉 That's Selena Vega in front of us. Wait, wait, wait, Selena...
等等，米雪儿在乐队的朋友？ Hold on, Michelle's friend from band?
答对了 You got it.
我的天啊，抱歉我没认出妳 Oh, my God. l'm sorry l didn't recognize you.
妳看起来… You look
不一样了 different.
下一轮我请客啰，男士们 Well, next round's on me, okay, guys?
嘿，她是乐队的？ Hey, that chick was in band?
这是我最近第一个周末长假… This is the first long weekend l have had in a while
所以我要好好利用 so l wanna make it count.
屋子要整理干净，要堆满酒 l want the place spotless, and l want it filled with booze.
而且我要确定周日晚上妳不在家 And l wanna make sure you're not around on Sunday night,
因为我要从同学会带正妹回家 'cause l plan on bringing some ass back from the reunion,
我跟她打炮时妳不要出现，懂吗？ and l wanna tap that without you there. You got it?
首先，史提勒，这是我家 You know, first of all, Steven, it's my house.
我让你住算你走运 You're lucky l'm letting you stay here.
妳要我找工作，我也找了 Look, you wanted me to get a Job, so l got one.
至少周末房子给我用 At least let me have the house for the weekend.
房子是我的，照我的规矩来 My house, my rules.
至于今晚，如果你不想回家时 And aS for tonight, if you don't wanna riSk coming home
看到你妈脱光光 and Seeing more of your mother than you'd like,
我建议你晚点再回来 l suggest you stay out late.
好恶 Gross.
That was really...
喂，吧女，来瓶百威 Hey, bar wench, can l get a Budweiser?
Beer down.
你们这群王八蛋在这干嘛？ What the fuck are you fuckers doing here?
你赶到了！ You made it! Made what?
赶到什么？你在说什么？ What are you talking about?
什么意思？ What do you mean?
我们发电子邮件给你… We sent you an e-mail
约你同学会前两天见面 about getting together a couple of days before the reunion.
你知道吗？我一定是打错地址了 You know what? l must have put two F's in ''Stifmeister.''
什么？ - 对不起 JlM: What? KEVlN: l'm sorry.
打错地址？你白痴喔！ Two F's? You dumbass! Kev!
凯文，你脸上怎么长了颗鲍鱼？ Hey, Kevin, is that a pussy on your face?
干嘛这样！ (TRlLLlNG LlPS) Oh, come on!
赞 Nice.
史提勒，你看起来不赖 最近在干嘛？ So, Stifler, you're looking sharp. What are you up to these days?
我在JBH上班 l work at JBH Global.
哇！大公司呢 Wow! That's a big-time firm.
你负责什么业务？ What do you do over there?
喔，你知道的… Oh, you know,
投资之类的 investment stuff.
难怪人们觉得金融系统要垮了 People wonder why our financial system's falling apart.
围巾很好看，你终于出柜了 Nice scarf. l see you finally came out of the closet.
你妈好吗，史提勒？ How is your mother, Stifler?
你离我妈远一点，猪头 You stay away from my mom, shitbreak.
好了，都是过去式，可以和解了 Okay, boys, the past is the past. We can bury the hatchet here, huh?
好，妈的随便 Yeah, fuck it.
嘿，短裤妹！来一轮野格炸弹！ Hey, short-shorts! A round of Jagerbombs for me and my boys!
炸你妈啦，史提勒 Go fuck yourself, Stifler.
她怎么知道我叫什么名字？ How the hell does she know my name?
肥猪手？ STlFLER: (CACKLlNG) Lard Arms?
拜托，史提勒 JlM: Jesus, Stifler.
真是丑小鸭变天鹅，对吧？ Talk about an ugly duckling turning into a swan, right?
我看看 Let me see that.
用手指插过她，奶头长毛… 咪咪超大 Oh! Fingered her, hairy nips, huge boobs.
就是她！ There she is!
吾屌之最佳拍檔 The creme de my cock.
喇叭妹莉丝坦 BlowJob Lipstein.
她的名字叫朗妮，史提勒 Her given name was Loni, Stifler.
她以前都叫我史大支 She used to call me Big Stiffy.
她的嘴令人怀念不已 She was the mouth that got away.
最后一轮！ Last call!
这么早？在这等我 Already? Wait here, guys.
哇赛，毕业生的愿望 Oh! Man, the Senior Wish List.
我怎么不记得有这玩意儿 Wish List? l don't remember that.
有啦 Oh, yeah, man. lt's that cheesy page in the yearbook
纪念册里有一页给大家写志愿的 where we all had to write wishes about our future.
来看看你乱写了什么 What, did you write something cheesy? Let's see.
克里斯，希望当儿子曲棍球队的教练 ''Chris Ostreicher. Hopes to coach his son's lacrosse team.''
有没有这么窝心啊 Oh! lsn't that the sweetest thing?
这个嘛… Well,
当时以为这时候我已经有家庭了 l guess l thought l'd have a family by now.
想听你写了什么吗，芬奇？ - 想 All right, you wanna hear what you wrote, Finch? FlNCH: l do.
保罗芬奇想找到真爱 ''Paul Finch hopes to find le grand amour. ''
是的，真爱 Yes, true love.
我还没谈过所谓的真感情 Alas, l have yet to find what you would call a real relationship.
对，因为跟史提勒他妈上床不算 Right, because banging Stifler's mom didn't count.
来看你写什么，凯文 OZ: All right, let's see what you got, Kev.
凯文麦尔斯，希望能继续… ''Kevin Myers. Hopes to still be living it up
跟超完美的维基莱森在一起 ''with the amazing Vicky Lathum.''
维基！不会吧？ Oh, man! Vicky! What?
我想你老婆看到一定高兴死了 l am sure your wife would be very happy to read that.
我当时跟维基在谈恋爱啊 What? l was dating Vicky at the time.
我看看我写了什么 Let me see what l put.
吉姆李文斯丁 ''Jim Levenstein
希望有瑞奇马汀的性生活 ''hopes to have the sex life of Ricky Martin.''
我猜你当时不知道他是同志 So, l'm assuming you didn't know he was gay back then.
吉姆，你娶的女人 Jim, it's a good thing you found a woman
性欲比一整群追星粉丝加起来还旺盛 with the sex drive of a dozen groupies. Hmm?
你嘿咻次数大概比我们都多 l mean, you're probably having more sex than any of us.
可能吧 Probably, you know.
希望你们都渴了，史提勒请客 Hope you guys are thirsty. Stifler Claus is here.
那有点太多了吧 Whoa! Stifler, that's a little too much, don't you think?
老兄，有点胆量好不好 Dude, find your balls and return them to your sack.
我觉得咱们要玩下去 l say we keep this party going.
High翻这个周末 l say we make this weekend our bitch.
我们要一起开趴… We could party together,
跟以前一样胡闹 do all the same shit that we used to do together.
回忆旧时光 lt'll be Just like old times.
好耶！这就是我来的原因 Hell yes! That's why l'm here.
不看无聊的相亲、贵妇实境秀 No Bachelorette, no Real HouSewiveS.
13周年同学会只有一次 Thing is, you only get one chance at your 13th reunion.
我有点想花点时间陪老婆 l was kind of hoping to spend a little time with the wife.
Fuck! Dude!
吉姆？ - 拜托喔 James? What? Come on!
我当然加入，开什么玩笑 l mean, l'm in. Of course l'm in. Come on, what?
对嘛 - 好 Yeah! Yeah.
那么，男士们，希望你们都戴了套子 Then, gentlemen, l hope you're all wearing protection,
因为周末我们要大干一场！ because this weekend, we're gonna fuck shit up!
干杯！ - 好耶！ JlM: Cheers! OZ: Yeah! All right!
挖哩咧？ What the fuck?
靠 Holy shit.
这是怎么回事？ What happened?
我不太记得了 (STUTTERlNG) l don't really remember.
都是妳，昨晚让他喝了多少？ l blame you. How much did you let him drink last night?
老实说，没多少 SELENA: Honestly, not that much.
我们去湖边前要把这些收干净 Well, we gotta clean this up before we go to the lake.
什么？湖边？ What? The lake?
对啊，是你出的主意 Yeah, the lake, dude. lt was your idea.
昨天晚上都在讨论这个 We discussed all this last night.
喔，湖边！对了，当然 Oh, the lake! Yes, of course, the...
麻烦拿纸巾给我好吗？ Hey, Jim, can you hand me those paper towels, please?
纸巾？ Oh, those paper towels?
纸做的 The paper ones.
纸巾啦，吉姆 The paper towels, Jim.
吉姆！ Jim! Yeah...
拿纸巾给我！ The paper towels!
我真的很抱歉 l'm really sorry.
吉姆，你知道盖子是透明的吧 Jim, you do realize that the lid is see-through, right?
好眼力 Good eye.
那是我孩子的爸 That's the father of my child.
拜托喔！ Oh, come on!
小心点！ - 真是的 Hey, watch it! Okay, Jeez.
我们年轻时这里好玩多了吧？ Am l wrong, or was this place a lot more fun when we were younger?
不，我觉得一样，是我们老了 No, no. l think it's the same. We're Just old now.
但我们以前也这么机车吗？ But were we Just as obnoxious as these kids back in the day?
不 No.
我们这一代成熟多了 Us, our generation, we were more mature.
嘿，兄弟们，你们看 Hey, guys, check it out.
阴道鲨！ Vagina shark!
他摸我下面！ He touched my snatch!
算我没说 l take that back.
喔，天啊 FlNCH: Oh, my God.
各位，你们一定要盯着她吗？ Fellas, do you gotta stare?
对 - 对 Yeah. Yeah.
对，我们一定要盯着她 Yes, we do need to stare.
你也太明显了吧？ (SCOFFS) Could Jim be any more obvious?
算了吧 Oh, give him a break.
平常要看到活生生的模特儿并不容易 l mean, it's not every day you get to see a model walking around off the page.
最近我们家的… There hasn't been a whole lot of sexy time
性生活并不美满 in the Levenstein household lately.
为什么？ Why not?
不知道，我现在是妈妈了 l don't know. l'm a mom now.
喔，拜托！ (SCOFFS) Oh, please!
当妈妈不表示需要隐藏自己另一面 Just because you're a mom doesn't mean there isn't a whole other side to you. (LAUGHS)
记得当初在乐队夏令营… Hey, remember that one time at band camp,
我们在“那里”舔鲜奶油… when we licked whipped cream off each other's...
好！好！我记得 Yes! Yes! l remember.
就当作是过去的秘密好吗？ Let's keep that in the past, though, okay?
喔，她在… JlM: Oh, she's...
对啊，那样才不会晒出一条线 Yeah, well, you gotta do that, or else you're gonna get tan lines.
侧奶耶，奥斯，快看！ Sideboob. There... Sorry. (WHlSPERlNG) Sideboob. Ozzy, look!
好啦，够了喔！ Okay! Come on!
你真幸运，奥斯 You're a lucky man, Oz.
拜托，我觉得大家都蛮… Oh, come on, guys. l think we're all pretty
幸运的 lucky.
等等，那是海蒂吗？ Wait, is that Heather?
对，是她 Yeah, it is.
海蒂 - 克里斯！ Heather. Chris!
你在这干嘛？ What are you doing here?
我想我们的目的相同吧 l guess we had the same idea, huh?
克里斯，这位是朗，我的男友 Chris, this is Ron, my boyfriend.
我是朗道格拉斯，很荣幸认识你 Chris Ostreicher, Ron Douglas. lt's a pleasure to meet you.
幸会 How do you do?
朗是医院的心脏科医师 Ron's a cardiologist at my hospital.
心脏科医师，哇 A cardiologist. Wow.
我朋友叫我朗医师、阿朗、小朗 Yeah. And, hey, listen, my friends call me Doctor Ron, D-Ron or Just Dron.
所以随便你叫吧 So you feel free.
好 Okay.
嘿，大便脸！ Hey, fuckface!
唱诗妹！哇！ Choir chick! Whoa!
我也很高兴见到你，史提勒 Nice to see you, too, Stifler.
这白痴是谁？ Who's this douche?
我是她男友 l'm her boyfriend.
所以你们两个有一腿 So, you two are banging,
你们两个曾经有一腿 and you two used to bang.
你们一定觉得很尴尬 This must be awkward for all of you.
现在尴尬了 (LAUGHS) lt is now.
那个死小孩抢了我的胸罩！ That little shit took my top! (LAUGHS)
还给我！ Give it back!
那是…我女友 Um, that's my girlfriend.
这是啥？这是啥？ What's this? What's this? (WOMEN SCREAMlNG)
嘿，小子！你以为你在干嘛？ Hey, kid! What do you think you're doing?
快，快，快闪！ Hey! Come on, come on, let's go!
拜托，这样很过分！ Come on, guys. Not cool!
你们这些笨蛋能怎样？ What're you assholes gonna do about it? (BOYS SNlCKERlNG)
还真有趣 Well, that was interesting.
我们该做些什么吗？ Well, should we do something?
打算怎么办？ What are we gonna do? Come on.
同意，不用跟他们一般见识 Agreed. There's no need to stoop to their level.
见识个屁！ Fuck that!
我很清楚他们去哪里 l know exactly where they're going.
史提勒？ Stifler?
他跑哪去了？ JlM: Where the hell is he?
各位，这样很愚蠢 Guys, this is stupid.
我不能再让米雪儿等了，回去好吗？ l really can't keep Michelle waiting. Can we Just head back?
等一下，让史提勒搞他的 Hold on. Let Stifler do his thing.
我就怕这点 Yeah, that's what l'm afraid of.
你们看到他们的表情吗？ Did you guys see the look on their faces?
他妈的超赞 Fucking awesome.
爽翻了 BO: He is crazy.
其中一个男的当过卡拉的保姆 l think one of those guys was Kara's babysitter.
哪一个？ Which one?
就看起来像亚当山德勒那个 You know, the one that looked like Adam Sandler.
史提勒最好不要太夸张 JlM: Stifler better not do anything crazy.
他只是要给他们一点教训 All he's gonna do is tell them off.
我以为他要把水上摩托车放掉 l thought he was gonna cut their Jet skis free.
不是要在防晒乳液里尿尿吗？ What happened to pissing in their suntan lotion?
等等，他告诉我他要偷啤酒 Hold on. He told me he was going to steal their beer.
史提勒 (SlGHlNG) Stifler.
喔，等等，他在那里 KEVlN: Oh, wait. There he is.
好 OZ: All right.
果然，他要偷啤酒 JlM: Yep, he's taking their beer.
好，快点，史提勒 All right, hurry up, Stifler. Come on.
他在干嘛？ What is he doing?
喔，不 OZ: Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. JlM: Wait.
天啊！ - 喔，我的天啊 Oh, God! KEVlN: Oh, my God.
史提勒！ - 天啊 Steven! No! Oh, God.
你真的觉得卡拉今晚会献身吗？ Yo, so you really think Kara's gonna give it up tonight?
她在等18岁那天，你自己算吧 AJ: She was waiting until she turns 18. You do the math.
我算得出来 The only math l know is
你插过她的次数是0 you've added your penis to her vagina zero times.
珍妮弗可不是荡妇 KYLE: Jennifer's not a skank.
是，她是 BO: Dude, yes, she is.
我要吐了 l'm gonna throw up.
天啊，好恶 Oh, my God. That's disgusting.
你在干嘛？ What're you doing?
（我在撇条…） (MOUTHlNG)
快点啦！ Hurry up. Come on!
干了啦！喝快点 BO: Down it, man! Just chug it! Chug it!
快点！撑下去！ Do it. Do it! Don't puss out.
不要停！ Don't puss out!
走吧 - 快，快，快！ Let's Just go. Let's go. Go, go. Go, go, go, go. Go, go.
再来一瓶吗？ You want another?
当然 For sure.
各位，今晚她将实现一年前的誓言 Guys, l'm telling you, tonight is gonna be the night she promised me a year ago.
靠… What the...
喂！甲赛啦！ Hey! Dipshit!
不！ No!
不！不！ No, no!
史提勒！你发疯喔？ Stifler! Are you crazy?
你不是说只是要偷啤酒吗？ Jesus, Stifler, what happened to Just stealing their beer?
我知道，但这样爽多了吧 l know, this is so much better, right?
什么？ What? (LAUGHS)
你毁了他们的水上摩托车 JlM: You destroyed their Jet skis.
他们对我们泼水 They splashed us.
所以呢 So...
拜托，这样很好玩 Come on, guys. That was pretty funny.
在高中时代很好玩，现在是公诉罪 Maybe in high school it was funny. Now it's Just a felony.
除非被抓到 Only if we get caught.
你必须承认，报仇的感觉很不赖 Yeah, you gotta admit, it was nice giving those kids a little payback.
学习尊敬长者是好事 Maybe it was good that they will learn to respect their elders.
说得好！ Exactly!
等我一下，我去找卫生纸 Hey, give me a second, l gotta find some toilet paper.
好恶心 That's gross.
99年毕业班，你们好吗？ VlCKY: What's up, Class of '99-ers?
天啊，维基？ Oh, my God! Vicky!
真不敢相信妳来了 l can't believe you're here.
是啊，我昨晚从纽约飞来 Yeah, l flew in from New York last night.
我一直跟我爸妈在一起 l've been hanging out with my parents.
他们才提到你 They were actually Just talking about you earlier.
真的吗？他们说什么？ Really? About what?
他们在瀑布抓到我们那次 That time they caught us making out at the Falls.
喔，对 Oh, right.
瀑布，哇，我好久没去了 The Falls. Wow, l haven't been there in forever.
米雪儿以前很喜欢去瀑布 Michelle used to love going to the Falls.
那地方是爱情的泉源 The place is romance incarnate.
妈的没错，我第一次舔屁眼就在那里 Hell, yeah. l got my first rim Job at the Falls.
真是的 Okay.
嘿，亲爱的 Hey, sweetie.
甜心！ Mmm, sweetie pie!
哈啰 Hello.
大伙在讨论要去瀑布玩 So, the guys were all talking about heading over to the Falls.
那吉姆和米雪儿的爱爱时间怎么办？ Well, what about Jim and Michelle time?
我在想，去那里还蛮浪漫的 l was thinking it could be kind of romantic.
我很想去，但你爸照顾艾文一整天了 Well, l'd love to, but your dad has been with Ev all day.
对，妳说的没错 Yeah, no, you're right.
好吧，我们就回家吧 Okay. Yeah, we'll Just, we'll go home.
不，你去玩吧 Oh, no, no. You go and have fun.
真的吗？ - 对啊 Really? Yeah.
你到家的时候，最好准备好 Just, when you get home, you Just better be ready.
妳才要准备好 You better be ready.
我早就准备好了 l'm ready.
史提勒，你知道路吗？ Um, Stifler, do you know where you're going?
跟我玩老二一样熟 l know this place like the back of my cock.
看起来好像是高中派对 lt looks like a high school party.
好多高中女生耶… With high school chicks.
开趴啰 lt's on.
小心，史提勒，她们年纪比你小一倍 Watch it, Stifler. You know these girls are, like, half your age.
我知道 l know.
现在的女生是不是比较淫荡？ Okay, is it Just me, or do girls today seem a bit sluttier?
绝对是 Definitely.
青少年性行为、群交、手机互传裸照 Teen sex, rainbow parties, sexting nude photos...
新闻都有报导 l saw it all on Kathie Lee & Hoda.
生日快乐！ Happy birthday! (WHOOPlNG)
吉姆？ Jim?
卡拉 - 你来了！ Kara. You came!
失陪 Sorry.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
天啊，这就是那位保姆？ Oh, my God, is this the babysitter? Mmm-hmm.
妳讲得好像我是超级英雄一样 You make it sound like l'm a superhero. (CHUCKLES)
比婴儿车快，比小货车有力 Faster than a speeding stroller, more powerful than a mini-van.
我就说他很爱搞笑吧 l told you he was funny.
他很可爱 He's adorable.
吉姆，介绍一下你的朋友吧 Hey, Jim. Do you wanna introduce me to your friends?
不了 No.
女孩们，这位是史提勒 Girls, this is Stifler.
妳们怎么会认识我的死党吉姆？ So, how do you know my best friend Jim?
吉姆以前是我的保姆 Jim used to be my babysitter.
我正要干杯，跟我一起喝吧 Hey, l was Just gonna do a birthday shot. Do you guys wanna do one with me?
不，不，不 - 要 Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah. Oh, yes, yes, yes.
我不该喝的 - 我们应该要喝 l shouldn't. Yes, we should, yes, we should.
我从没在大庭广众下打过炮 Never have l ever had sex in public.
真的吗？你们都没有？ Really? None of you?
来吧，海蒂，妳还没喝 Oh, come on, Heather. You haven't drank once.
妳好ㄍㄧㄥ喔！ You are such a prude!
也许是因为我没在大庭广众下打过炮 Or maybe l've Just never had sex in public.
我也没玩过多P Okay, never have l ever been in an orgy.
他们人都很好啊 They were really nice guys.
信不信，这是我第一个高中派对 Believe it or not, this is my first high school party.
妳没错过什么 You didn't miss much.
我一直比较喜欢待在家里听广播 l always preferred staying at home, throwing on a little NPR.
你比我酷多了 You were so much cooler than me.
我都窝在家里尝试写X档案小说 l sat around writing X-FileS fan fiction.
我把俄文小说翻成拉丁文 l translated The BrotherS Karamazov
只是为了好玩 into Latin for fun.
那样好性感 That is so sexy.
妳说的没错 You know it is.
过去几年我在家开业当建筑师 l've only been working as an architect for the last few years, and from home.
妳在同一家公司待十几年了 You've been with the same company for over ten years.
很棒，妳成功了 That's awesome, it sounds like everything is working out for you.
是啊，一切都好，尤其是工作方面 Yeah. l mean, everything's good, especially work-wise.
但现在回来看到老朋友们 But now that we're back here in the town, and we see, like, all of our old friends,
大家都结婚生子了 and everyone's married and having kids,
你知道，会让我开始思考 it Just makes me, you know, think.
凯文，你没事吧？ You okay there, Kev?
没事，只是我平常不会这样喝酒 Yeah, l Just don't normally drink like this.
你是说你在品酒会上 You're telling me you haven't gotten a little bit tipsy
完全都没醉吗？ on Myers Family Wine Night?
有人在追踪我的脸书喔 l see somebody's been stalking my Facebook page.
至少我不会拍食物照 At least l don't take pictures of my meals.
是谁在追踪谁的啊 Who's stalking who now?
好啦，我也许看过一两次 Okay, so l've been by your page maybe once or twice.
妳跟某个叫亚力山卓的人约过会？ You were dating someone named Alessandro?
他知道拍照可以穿衣服吧 You know, he does know that he can take a picture with his shirt on, right?
亚力山卓早就是过去式了 Alessandro is long gone.
结束了，是吧？ lt's over, huh?
好，喝完这杯我就要回家了 Okay, after this drink, l have to go home.
吉姆 Jim.
你照顾过的18岁辣妹站在你面前 There's a smoking hot 18-year-old girl over there that you used to babysit.
你完全没有遐想吗？ And you're not going to do anything about that?
提醒你，我娶了米雪儿 Need l remind you that l am married to Michelle?
那就对啦 Exactly.
老兄 Dude,
这些正妹的床上功夫了得 these young chicks, they know some crazy shit in the bedroom.
你可以从卡拉身上学点东西 You could take what you learn from Kara,
回家用在米雪儿身上 bring it home, and apply it to Michelle.
你在乎你的婚姻吧，吉姆？ You do care about your marriage, don't you, Jim?
你在说什么啊？我才不要出轨！ What are you talking about, Stifler? l'm not gonna cheat on my wife!
我已经当爸爸了，拜托 l'm a father for Christ's sakes.
对，这样想才对 Yeah, that's perfect.
女生超爱老爸类型的，继续用这招 Yeah, chicks love a father figure. Keep playing that card, dude.
这不是招数，是事实 lt's not a card, it's the truth.
你们在谈什么？ Hey. Hi. What are you guys talking about?
喔，妳知道的 Oh, you know... Just...
吉姆说照顾妳很开心 Jim was Just saying how much fun he had taking care of you.
女士们，我们给他们一点时间聚聚 Hey, ladies, why don't we give them some time to catch up?
女士优先 Mmm-hmm. Yeah, after you.
不，不用了，我们应该聚在一起 No, that's not necessary. We should all hang out together.
大家…史提勒… Why don't we all... Stifler, Just...
让她叫爸爸 Be her daddy.
史提勒？史提勒！ Stifler? Stifler!
那个… So,
听起来你跟米雅的生活很刺激 sounds like you and Mia have quite an adventurous lifestyle.
有时有点太刺激了 Sometimes a little too adventurous.
海蒂比较保守 Wow. Well, Heather's a bit more on the conservative side. But, uh...
我得老实说，克里斯 But, l gotta be honest,
我需要一点刺激 Chris, l could use a little adventure myself.
你是指什么，朗？ What are you getting at, Ron?
我是说我通常不玩换妻的 l'm Just saying that usually l'm not one for swapping,
但你以前上过海蒂，这样就好解决 but the fact that you've been with Heather already, kind of makes it okay.
所以，你意下如何？ So, what do you think?
你觉得她们想吗？ Think they'd be into it?
我开玩笑的，拜托，开玩笑的啦！ l'm kidding. Come on, l'm kidding!
说真的，我才不会呢！ Seriously, l would never do that!
除非你们想 Unless you guys wanted to.
你去过南美洲所有国家？ So you've really been to every country in South America?
不，不是全部 No, no, not all of them.
而且我不认为法属圭亚那是个国家 And l don't consider French Guiana a nation.
我还记得，我等不及要毕业 l remember, l couldn't wait till graduation
可以离开这里，重新开始 so l could leave this town and reinvent myself.
妳的确变了一个人 You have certainly reinvented yourself.
我不知道 l don't know.
我心里还是有点希望可以探索世界 There's Just a part of me that still wishes that l could Just explore the world, you know?
做我理想中的人 Be everything l set out to be.
妳办得到的，做就是了 You can be whoever you wanna be. You Just gotta be it.
想亲热吗？ - 好啊 You wanna make out? Yeah.
妳疯啦？我超爱“暮光之城”系列的 Are you crazy? l love the Twilight books.
“新月”是我的最爱 New Moon is my favorite.
我也是！ Mine, too!
天啊，我们真是心灵相通！ Oh, my God! We have, like, so much in common!
是不是！ l know! l know!
来一口吧 Wanna hit this?
一口怎么够 ln more ways than one.
我不知道你哪位，但我现在超忙 (STlFLED) l don't know who this is, but l'm pretty fucking busy right now.
抱歉打扰，史呆勒 So sorry to interrupt, Stafler.
我不知道今晚还有特殊奥运会 Didn't realize the Special Olympics competed at night.
喔，干 Oh, fuck.
那边在搞什么？你被自己的屌呛到？ What the hell's going on over there? What, are you choking on your own dick?
没事，杜雷司瓦米先生，没事 Nothing, Mr. Duraiswamy, nothing.
我可以帮什么忙吗？ What can l do for you, sir?
采购部的鲍伯心脏病发 Bob from Acquisitions had a heart attack.
有个白痴跟他说他被开除 Some idiot told him that he was fired.
他就失控了，我不清楚怎么回事 He flipped out, I don't know.
听着，我需要有人做完他的简报 Listen, l need someone to finish his presentation.
你周日进公司把事情做完，瞭吗？ l need you to go in on Sunday and get everything ready. Yes?
喔，等等，周日 Oh, wait, Sunday.
我要参加高中同学会 l got my high school reunion.
哇，好好玩喔！ Oh, wow, how fun!
我打给董事长请他改时间好了 Yeah, no, l'll Just call the chairman, and l'll get him to reschedule.
真的吗？那就太棒了！ Seriously? Hey, that would be awesome!
我他妈开玩笑的，白痴 That was a fucking Joke,you moron.
老天，我在干什么？ Jesus Christ, what am l doing?
算了，我自己处理 You know what, l am gonna handle this myself.
不，听我说，杜雷司瓦米先生… No. No, no, no, listen, Mr. Duraiswamy,
我来做，好吗？我保证会完成 l can do it, okay? l promise, l'll get it done.
不要搞砸了，史呆勒 Just don't fuck up, Stafler.
是史提勒 lt's Stifler. (LlNE DlSCONNECTS)
机车！嘿，女士们 Dick! Hey, ladies...
女士们？ - 她们闪了 Ladies? They bailed, dude.
干！ Aw, fuck!
卡拉，妳今晚怎么回家？ Hey, Kara, how are you getting home tonight?
阿杰本来要开我的车回来的 AJ was supposed to drive my car back,
但他到现在都还没来 but he hasn't even shown up yet.
说什么水上摩托车的烂借口 Some lame excuse about his Jet skis.
你相信那个混蛋吗？ Can you believe that Jerk?
你呢？ What about you?
你可以吗？ Will you take me?
拜托嘛，我们要去一样的地方 Come on! We're going to the same place.
而且，让我这样开车很不负责任 Besides, it wouldn't be responsible to let me drive in this condition.
对吧？ Right?
卡拉… Okay, Kara.
哇！小心，小心！ Hey! Whoa! Careful! Careful. Yeah.
天啊！我超喜欢这首歌的 Oh, my God, l love this song.
这是首好歌 lt's a good one.
经典摇滚最棒了 lsn't classic rock the best?
这什么时候变成经典摇滚了？ Classic rock? This is classic rock now?
妳该多喝水，我给妳的那瓶在哪？ Hey, you know, Kara, you should drink some more water. Where's that bottle l gave you?
喔，在这里 - 好 Oh, it's right here. Okay.
在后面 ln the back.
靠，抱歉，有… Shit. Sorry. Sorry. There was a... (CLEARS THROAT)
路上有一只小松鼠… There was a little baby squirrel in the road, so...
哇哩咧！那不是水 Whoa! Hey! Whoa! That's not water. Okay.
妳喝太多了 lt's a little too much now.
这么多年了，你还是照顾着我 l love how, after all these years, you're still taking care of me.
一日保姆，终身保姆嘛 Well, you know, a babysitter's Job never ends.
你知道我一直暗恋你吧 (GlGGLlNG) You knew l always had a crush on you, right?
不知道 (HESlTANTLY) No.
我想把第一次献给你 l want you to be my first.
妳的第一次？ Your first?
天啊… Oh, God. Okay. Um...
卡拉，听着 Kara, listen. Um...
第一次是很神圣的 A person's virginity is something sacred, you know?
妳应该要留给特别的人 You should save yourself for someone special.
你很特别啊 You're special.
不！我不…特别 No! Not special.
妳觉得我特别？ You think? l really...
妳在干什么？ What are you doing?
嘿，妳在干什么？ Hey, what are you doing?
拜托嘛，不会有人发现的 Come on. No one will ever find out.
我不知道，我不觉得… l don't know. l don't think...
你觉得我不美吗？ You don't think l'm pretty?
不是啦！妳超美的，卡拉 Huh? Oh, no! You're very pretty, Kara. You're very, very...
真的吗？ - 对，超美的 Really? Yes, very pretty.
谢谢 But l... Very pretty. Thanks.
喔，天啊 Oh, my God!
挖哩咧！是怎样？ Holy shit! What?
妳的衣服跑哪去了？ - 拜托嘛 Oh, my... Where did your... Come on.
我想不出更好的生日礼物了 l can't think of a better birthday gift.
新的iPhone怎么样？ What about the new iPhone?
坠子？妮琪米娜新专辑？ Huh? Maybe a little pendant? The new Nicki MinaJ album?
不要 - 不要？ No. No? Boobies.
我要你！ l want you! Whoa, whoa, whoa!
不可以…不要这样 You can't... Don't do that.
这样不好，不要… That's not good, don't...
别这样，住手 Come on, stop. (ENGlNE REVVlNG)
卡拉！卡拉！住手 Kara! Kara! Stop it.
靠 Shit!
妈的，卡拉？ Shit. Kara?
哇咧！卡拉？ Holy Jesus! Kara?
卡拉！请醒过来，卡拉！ Kara! Kara! Please wake up, Kara!
卡拉，醒醒 Kara, wake up. Kara!
你没事吧？ Are you okay?
天啊！ Oh, Jesus, God!
天啊，你没事吧？ Oh, my God, are you all right?
吉姆？ Jim? Hey!
太扯了！ What? This is crazy!
你还好吗？ Are you all right?
还好，我只是… Huh? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. l'm okay. l was Just... Um...
我只是要拿东西 l was reaching for something.
没事，一切都好 Everything's okay. Everything's fine.
不知道你听说没，你听说了吗？ l don't know if you've heard. Mmm? Did you hear?
我负责办同学会 l am in charge of the reunion.
喔，对，没错 Oh! Yeah, no, that's... Yeah, that's right.
我设计了整个九○年代风 Got a whole '90s theme planned.
喔，那真是… Oh. That's...
我雇了恰巴王八来表演 l booked Chumbawamba.
但那些王八昨天打电话来取消 Yeah. But the pricks cancelled yesterday.
真是挫败，但你知道我的 Was a setback, but you know me,
“我被击倒，但我会再站起来” ''l get knocked down but l get up again.'' (CHUCKLES)
天啊！我知道怎么回事了 Oh, my God! Okay, l see what's going on.
米雪儿？
是啊
赞啊
是啊 Yep.
再见了，兄弟 l'll see you later, buddy.
好吧，再见 All right then, l'll see you.
天啊，卡拉，醒醒 Jesus, God. Kara. Kara, wake up.
我只是想睡一下 - 什么？ l Just need a nap. What?
卡拉，现在不是睡觉的时候，醒醒 Kara, this isn't time for a nap. Kara, wake up.
现在不能睡 This isn't napping time. (SNORlNG)
卡拉？惨了 Kara? Shit.
天啊，不妙，非常不妙 Oh, God, this is bad. This is very, very bad.
你们怎么这么久才来？ What took you guys so long?
我们找不到凯文 We were looking for Kevin. Couldn't find him.
奥斯在搞的辣妹醉翻了 Plus, that hot piece of ass Oz is banging got wasted,
所以我们得载她回家 so we had to drop her off.
你们带他来？ You brought him?
当然要带我来 Of course they brought me.
高中时代你们忙着打手枪的时候 When you guys were busy Jacking off in high school,
我每个周末都在处理这种事 l was running this drill every weekend.
现在来看看是什么状况 Now, let's see what we are dealing with.
哇靠！ Holy shit!
干得好，吉姆！ Way to go, Jim.
我们没怎样，史提勒 Shh. Okay, nothing happened, Stifler.
我们没怎样 Okay? Nothing happened.
住手！ Stop that!
对不起 l'm sorry.
吉姆，你要我们怎么做？ So, Jim, what do you wanna do?
我不知道 l don't know.
我不能就这样留下她，她没穿衣服 l can't Just leave her here naked, you know?
要是警察经过，发现跟我有关 l mean, if the cops come by and find out l'm involved,
我就完了 l'm screwed.
我们有两个选择 That leaves us with two options.
把尸体丢掉，或是偷偷带她回房里 We dump the body or we sneak her inside.
把尸体丢掉？这又不是黑道暗杀 Dump the body? This isn't a mob hit.
好，等一下 Okay, wait a second.
我进她家当保姆超多次 l have been in her house a million times to babysit.
我可以从后门偷带她进去 l can totally sneak her in through the back door.
我需要你们转移她父母的注意力 l need you guys to distract her parents.
你们办得到吗？ Do you think you can do that? (SCOFFS)
我是专家，吉姆 l'm an expert, Jim.
相信我，我搞得定 Trust me. l got this shit.
晚安，先生 Good evening, sir.
我朋友的车抛锚了 My friend's car broke down,
能否借您的电话联络拖车行 and we were Just wondering if we could use your phone to call AAA.
你是说你们没人有手机？ You mean to tell me that none of you have cell phones?
天啊，是你 你参加过“名人来尬舞” Oh, my God, l know you. You were on Celebrity Dance Off.
喔，对！ Oh, yeah!
克里斯奥斯 Ostreicher.
对了 Oh, yeah.
进来吧 Hey, come on in.
你真行啊，史提勒 That was very smooth, Stifler.
闭嘴啦，猪头 Shut up, shitbreak.
上次用这招，根本还没有手机这东西 The last time l did this, cell phones didn't exist.
妈的！ Shit!
爹地 Daddy.
妈咪，看，是爹地 Look, Mom, Daddy!
妈的！ Shit!
干！ Oh, fuck!
卡拉？ Kara?
你得来找我啰 KARA: Gonna have to find me.
卡拉？ Kara?
谢谢你，莎蓝德，妳帮了大忙 Thank you, Sheranda. You've been very helpful.
给妳打一百分 You get a Triple A-plus in my book.
妳也保重，好，掰掰 Oh, you take care, too. Okay, yeah, bye-bye.
拖车行很快就派人过来 So, that was AAA on the phone and they should be here in a Jiffy.
这首歌很耳熟吧？ Does this song sound familiar?
你好会跳舞，你被淘汰我好难过 You were such a good dancer. l felt so bad when you got voted off.
谢谢妳 Thank you.
但我得说，你本人性感多了 But l have to say you're much sexier in person.
苏珊，冷静点 Okay. Calm down there, Susan.
她超想上你的，奥斯 Dude, she wants to fuck you big time, dude.
你要上吗？ - 妈的当然不要 You got to hit that. No fucking way.
为了吉姆上吧，别自私 Do it for Jim, dude, don't be selfish.
我得去一下洗手间 Hey, you know what? l think l have to go to the bathroom.
卡拉，这不是闹着玩的 Kara, this is not funny.
卡拉，拜托！出来啦 Kara, come on! Kara, come out.
喔，我的天啊 Oh, my God!
来，好，乖 Come on. Okay, good.
你老是找不到我 You never could find me.
吉姆，我不想催你，但时间不多了 Jim, l don't mean to alarm you but you don't have much time.
好，我知道 Yes, l know.
我喜欢你的围巾 l like your scarf. Okay.
我还喜欢妳的咪咪咧 l like your breasts. Door.
可以拍张照吗？ Would it be okay if l get a picture?
当然 Sure.
相机应该在这附近 l know it's in here somewhere.
发胶… Okay, a bottle of hair spray...
你们还好吧？ You guys all right?
还好 Yeah. Yeah.
你知道吗？ You know something?
我很喜欢你们的厕所 l really was admiring
马桶超干净 how clean your toilet was in your bathroom.
谢谢 Thanks.
你知道吗？我也想去洗手间 You know what? l have to use the restroom, too.
不，你不想 No, you don't.
上床吧 Let's get in bed. (GlGGLlNG)
你想跟我一起上床吗？ Come on and get in bed with me?
不，我不想，卡拉，拜托 No, l'm not getting in bed... Come on. Get in bed with me. No, l'm not... Kara, please. Oh, God. Please.
Oh, shit!
史提勒，你来干嘛？ Stifler, what are you doing here?
我只想看一眼 - 不行 l Just wanted another glimpse. No.
你干嘛把她衣服穿回去？逊！ Why'd you put her clothes back on, dude? Boo.
你得走了 You have to go.
那是什么声音？ What was that?
听起来像是外面传来的 That sounded like it came from outside.
不，是卡拉的房间 No, that came from Kara's room.
喔，天啊 Oh, Jesus.
卡拉？ KARA'S DAD: Kara?
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
快走，快走！ Go, go, go!
这里在搞什么鬼？ What the hell's going on in here?
嗨，爹地 Hi, Daddy.
妳怎么回来的？ How'd you get back in?
我不记得了 l don't remember.
妳不记得？ You don't remember?
刚刚是什么声音？ What was that sound?
我不知道 l don't know.
什么叫妳不知道？ What do you mean, you don't know?
我不知道嘛 l don't know.
妳喝酒了，对不对？ You've been drinking, haven't you?
没有 No.
卡拉，我说过，那些男生灌醉妳 Kara, l told you these boys try to get you drunk
是为了占妳的便宜 so they can take advantage of you.
我长大了，我懂，爹地 l'm old enough to know that, Dad.
我不想因为扁人而坐牢 Yeah, well, l don't want to go to Jail for kicking some horny kid's teeth in
但相信我，我会的 but l will, believe me.
那是什么？ What is that?
喔，是牛宝宝啦 (LAUGHlNG) Oh, that's Mr. Moo!
帮我拿来好吗，爹地？拜托 Will you get him for me, Daddy? Please.
我真是没办法生妳的气 l can't be mad at my angel.
生日快乐，公主 Happy birthday, princess.
谢谢，爹地 Thanks, Dad.
你在干什么？ What are you doing?
没什么 Nothing.
Oh, Jeez.
史提勒？ (WHlSPERlNG) Stifler?
史提勒？ Stifler?
在上面啦 Up here, dude.
跟你说我是专家吧 l told you l was an expert.
喔，靠 Oh, shit.
现在又怎么了？ What the hell is going on now?
要不要去小贾斯汀的演唱会？ Want to go to a Justin Bieber concert?
吉姆？ Uh... Jim?
史提勒，闪了啦 Stifler, come on. Come on!
走啦 Let's go.
你们两个，在那别动 You and you, stay here.
不要推我 Don't push me.
哇咧！天啊 Whoa! Oh, my God.
卡拉，妳到底跑哪去了？ AJ: Kara, where the hell are you?
我在去妳家的路上… l'm on my way to your place and...
搞什么… What the...
干！ Fuck!
搞屁啊？ What the hell is going on?
喔，天啊 Oh, God!
嘿，猛男 Hey, stud.
我还以为你不… l thought you'd never...
糟糕，我们本来要… Oh, shit, shit. We were supposed to...
没关系啦 No, it's fine.
不，有关系 What? No, God, it's not fine.
真对不起，我想要，我只是… Shoot! l'm so sorry, Michelle. l really... l wanted to, l Just...
我带艾文去我外婆家，下午就回来 l'm going to drop Ev at my grandma's and l'll be back this afternoon.
不，米雪儿，等一下 No, Michelle, hold on.
吉姆，我很担心 Jim, l'm worried.
妳担心什么？ What are you worried about?
我们好久没嘿咻了 Just we're like so out of sync.
我只是… l Just...
我不知道我们这样下去能撑多久 l don't know how much longer we can go on like this.
我保证会尽力补偿妳 l promise you l will do everything l can to make it up to you.
好吗？ Okay?
史提勒晚上要开趴 Stifler's having a party tonight.
我知道听起来不太浪漫 Okay, l know that doesn't sound romantic or anything,
但我们的第一次就是在他的派对上 but remember our first time was at a Stifler party.
妳占有了我 You made me your bitch.
是啊，我是 Yes. Yes, l did.
要射的时候说一声 Tell me when, okay?
哇靠 What the fuck?
米雅 So, Mia.
她真是自由自在 She's a free spirit.
她很特别 She's something else.
是啊，她是 Yeah, she is.
等一下，有人在吃醋吗？ Wait a minute, do l sense a little Jealousy there?
没有 - 没有？ No. Mmm-mmm. No?
别忘了，是妳跟我分手去念医学院的 Hey, don't forget, you were the one who broke up with me before you went to med school.
是你要搬去洛杉矶，还不打算回来 Hey, you were moving to LA with no return in sight.
不能怪我想定下来 You can't blame me for wanting to settle down.
不，我不怪妳 No, l don't.
我只是不希望妳迁就 l Just don't want you to settle.
现在是谁在吃醋啊 Look who's Jealous now.
跟朗在一起不算是迁就 l wouldn't call being with Ron ''settling.''
当然不是，他看上去很体面 Oh, no, he's gorgeous on paper.
这话什么意思？ What is that supposed to mean?
没什么 Nothing. Um...
对不起，妳是对的 l'm sorry. You're right.
我是有点吃醋 l am a bit Jealous.
你知道吗，很有趣 You know, it's funny.
在某些方面，你完全变了 ln some ways, you've completely changed,
但其它方面，你还是一样 and, in other ways, you're exactly the same.
海蒂，相信我 Heather, you can believe this,
一切都没变 nothing's changed.
喔，我的天啊 Oh, my God.
克里斯奥斯？ Chris Ostreicher?
嗨，女孩们 - 可以合照吗？ Hi, girls. Can l get a pic?
当然 Sure.
爸？ Dad?
爸 - 吉姆 Oh, hey, Dad. Hey, Jim.
我要出门一下 l'm Just going to run out for a sec.
我在看你成年礼的影片 l was Just watching your old Bar Mitzvah tape.
你的犹太围巾在我手上！ (LAUGHlNG) I got your Jew Scarf!
还来啦，史提勒 YOUNG JlM: Give it back, Stifler.
我觉得我是世上最快乐的男人 I think I'm the happieSt man in the
因为我有妳 world thankS to you.
是啊，我也想念她，爸 Yeah, l miss her too, Dad.
我知道 l know.
爸，你一向支持我，给我建议 Dad, you've always been there to give me advice.
如果有什么事你想谈谈 But if there's anything that you want to talk about,
我洗耳恭听 l'm here for you.
我不觉得有什么想谈的 Yeah, l don't think there's anything l really need to talk about, Jim.
你不觉得你应该… Do you think maybe it's time for you to
跟别人约会？ meet someone else?
爸，没关系的 Dad, it's okay.
你的遭遇很正常 What you're going through is perfectly natural.
你知道，有一些服务… You know, there are services out there...
服务？ - 对啊 Services? Yeah.
像什么？ Like what?
有快乐结局那种？ - 那是什么？ A happy ending? What's that?
我可不要 - 喔，天啊 Because l won't go there. Oh, my God.
我不需要那种按摩 l don't need that... l don't need that kind of massage, Jim.
我不是说… - 很危险 That's not what l was... Because, you know what, it's dangerous.
可能会有传染病 And you can pick things up.
你不会想知道被传染到什么 You don't even wanna know what you can pick up.
问问你叔叔莫特 - 我不想 Talk to your uncle Mort. l'd rather not.
他住院两个礼拜 - 真恶心 He was in the hospital for two weeks. That's disgusting.
我说的是… l was talking about (CLEARS THROAT)
网络交友 online dating services.
不，吉姆 No, Jim.
我这年纪？哪有可能 Yeah, right, at my age? l don't think so.
我太老，来不及了，以前哪来这套 l've been out of the game for so long. There wasn't even a game back then.
爸，别担心，我来帮你安排 Dad, don't worry. l'll hook you up.
帅照准备好了吗？ JlM: Do you have those photos?
这里 Here you go.
哇 - 帅吧 Wow. Yeah. Oh.
我们也许需要最近一点的照片 We might need something a little more recent.
是吗？ Do you think?
你有性感一点的衣服吗？ Do you have something that's a bit sexier?
了解 Gotcha.
你有换吗…？ Did you...
最喜欢的音乐 (CLEARS THROAT) Favorite music.
英国隐士合唱团 Herman's Hermits.
好吧 Okay. Oh...
女孩们，请一个一个来 Girls, one at a time, please.
兴趣与喜好 JlM: lnterests and hobbies.
数独 Sudoku.
等一下再弄这个好了 We'll come back to this one.
妳确定不会拔太多了？ LEVENSTElN: Are we sure we're not taking off too much?
这两条毛毛虫是我的注册商标 These caterpillars are kind of my trademark.
好了… Okay...
帅呆了 Perfect.
你看看 - 我好紧张 Take a look. l'm nervous.
喔，棒极了！ Oh, that's fantastic!
好棒的造型！ That is a great look for me!
变细了，但还能动呢 Leaner lines. l still have mobility.
我怎么30年前没想到？ Why didn't l do this 30 years ago?
很帅喔 Looking good.
今晚来测试新造型怎么样？ Why don't we test this new look out tonight?
是这样的，史提勒今晚有派对 The thing is, Stifler is throwing a party tonight.
那就改天吧 Oh! Well, another time.
但你可以跟我们去 But you could come with us.
出去走走还不错 lt would be nice to get out of the house.
不过我得警告你… l do have to warn you, though,
史提勒的派对会有点… Stifler's parties can get a little
狂野 wild.
这是在搞屁啊 What the fuck is this?
他妈的是谁换音乐？ Who the hell changed the music?
抱歉，我们觉得这样比较适合贝比 Sorry, we thought this was more baby-friendly.
是吧？是啊 Didn't we? Yes, we did.
史大炮！ Stifmeister!
切斯特！ Chester!
你们两个爱舔屌的最近如何？ What have you cock-smokers been up to?
我们刚订婚 Well, we Just got engaged. Yeah.
什么？这样好像同志喔 What? That's so fucking gay.
是啊，史提勒，我们是同志 Yeah, Stifler, we are gay.
曲棍球队有一半的人是同志 Half the lacrosse team was gay.
你应该知道吧？ You must have known that, right?
你不是撞见道格和巴瑞在浴室搞吗？ Dude, you walked in on Doug and Barry in the shower.
我以为他们在摔角 l Just thought they were wrestling.
确定这是史提勒的派对吗？ Are we sure this is Stifler's?
开胃菜！ Hors d'oeuvres!
把这个拿给主人吧，儿子 Why don't you give this to our host, son?
天啊！看看是谁来了 Oh, my God! Look who it is.
抱歉昨晚打扰你们 Sorry for interrupting you guys last night.
干得好啊 Bravo, by the way.
大部分的人妻婚后都不做那档事了 Most wives stop doing that after they get the ring.
你在说什么？ - 妳换发色了吗？ What are you talking about? Did you change your hair color?
所以，你朋友… So, is your buddy,
另一个干妈成员有来吗？ the other MlLF guy, here tonight?
我以为你们一向同进同出 l thought you always come to these things together.
我们已经各走各的路了 Let's Just say that friendship is a two-way street.
失陪了 Excuse me.
这个趴也太烂了吧 Could this party get any lamer?
还可以啦 lt's not so bad.
要不要来颗摇头药？ You want some E?
不要，妳怎么会有？ No. Why do you have that?
这里大概不会有人带 No one else here probably has any.
你确定你不要？ Are you sure you don't want one?
确定 Yeah.
不…确定 No... Yes.
不要 No.
好吧，那我多吃点 Okay. Fine. More for me, then.
他们在这 And there they are.
芬奇 JlM: Finchy.
你们在这啊 There you guys are.
看看这里，真是烂透了 Look around. Can you believe this shit?
是啊，真会办趴 Yeah, man. Nice work.
给你的 For you.
这个我他妈的该怎么处理？ What the hell am l supposed to do with this?
那叫红酒，史提勒 That's called wine, Stifler.
不，我的趴要喝烈酒 No, no, no, no, not at my party. l'm going to get us some shots.
嘿，凯文 Hey, Kev.
我可以跟你们谈一下吗？ Can l talk to you guys for a sec?
当然，在这等，我马上回来 Yeah, sure. Wait here, l'll be right back.
妳带家伙来了吗？ So, you brought the goods?
就在这里 Right here.
我要看 l want to see.
哇咧，那些白痴跑哪去了？ What the... Where did those fuckers go?
哈啰，史提勒 Hello, Steven.
李文斯丁先生 - 是的 Mr. Levenstein. Yes.
你来了 You made it.
好高兴看到你们都回来了 lt is so great to see all you kids back in town. Hmm.
今晚的聚会真是太棒了 And what a terrific soiree you're throwing here tonight.
棒极了！ Just wonderful!
这样吧，我要把你弄茫 You know what? l'm going to get you fucked up.
来一杯 Hmm? Have a shot.
喔！不，不，不 Oh! No, no, no.
不行，我不太能喝 l don't think so, Steven. l'm not much of a drinker.
快喝！快喝！ - 我不能喝 Drink it. Drink it! Drink it! No, l can't.
快喝！ Drink it! Drink it!
赞！再来一杯 Awesome! Let's do another one.
不行 (STRAlNED) l don't think so.
凯文，你不确定到底做了什么 Look, Kev, you don't know for sure if anything happened.
我跟她在床上醒来，我们没穿衣服 l woke up next to her in bed, and all our clothes were off.
不管发生什么事，我很内疚 l mean, whatever happened, l feel guilty.
凯文，在法国… Kevin, in France,
被老婆抓到才算偷吃 it's only considered cheating if your wife catches you in the act.
她来了 She's here.
我得走了 l gotta go.
好，准备好 All right, get ready.
等一下，等一下 Wait for it. Wait for it!
等一下 Wait for it!
来啰！ Here she comes!
屌！李文斯丁先生！ Fuck yeah, Mr. Levenstein!
叫我诺亚，王八蛋 The name is Noah, motherfucker.
摸摸沙发 Feel the sofa.
好柔软 lt's so smooth.
好像蓝色小精灵的屁股 lt feels like a Smurf's ass.
感觉到了吗？ Did you feel it?
好了，米雅，妳可以… Okay. Mia, can you...
嘿，各位，抱歉迟到了 Hey, guys. Sorry we're late.
我找到好玩的东西给大家看 Hey, l got a treat for everybody. l picked something up.
名人来尬舞第六季，我的偶像克里斯 Celebrity Dance Off, Season Six. My man, Chris Ostreicher.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
我们要看 We have to watch this.
谁想看我的宝贝扭屁股？ Who wants to see my baby shake his booty?
我想 l know l do.
网络交友？开什么玩笑 JDate? You have to be kidding me.
找靓鲍当然要出来狩猎啊 lf you want quality vag, you have to go out into the wild.
靓鲍？ ''Vag''?
什么形容词啊？ What is that, a half a vagina?
我们那一代都称女生下面为海狸 You know, in my day we called it a beaver.
我告诉你，我以前可是一尾活龙 And let me tell you something, l snagged a pelt or two.
我相信你 l bet you did.
爸？ Dad?
吉姆，你爸比你酷多了 Hey, Jim, your dad is so much cooler than you.
史提勒，不要再灌醉我爸了 Stifler, please stop getting my dad drunk.
不是啦，他只是想帮我尬靓鲍 No, he's Just trying to get me some vag.
好了，走吧 Okay, come on.
让他自己做决定 Let the man make his own decisions.
够了，来吧 - 不要听他的 Stop. Come on. Don't listen to him.
我要你硬起来 l want you to dust off that old dick of yours,
走出去，尬个靓鲍 go out there, and get some ass.
走出去 - 我想我会的 Oh! Just go out there. l think l will.
爸，别这样，好吗？ Dad, stop, okay? lt's exactly what l'm gonna...
抱歉，你今晚喝太多了 l'm sorry, but you have had a little too much to drink tonight,
我不会让你… and l'm not letting you... No, no.
不，儿子，我根本没喝几杯 No, son, l haven't hardly had one drink.
你知道我爱你 And you know l love you.
我真的爱你，但你需要… l do love you, but you need to
晃松 chillax.
“晃松”？爸，你要去哪？ ''Chillax''? Dad, where are you going?
妳看看他 - 吉姆，吉姆！ Do you see him? Jim! Jim!
让他去吧，让他去玩 Let him go. Let him have some fun.
这样我们自己也可以好好地玩 And now we can have some fun.
来吧 Come on.
不好意思 Excuse me.
抱歉，不好意思 l'm sorry, excuse me.
这是厕所吗？ ls this a washroom?
你不知道你很自大… lt doesn't even occur to you that you're self-centered
因为你自大到… because you are so self-centered and...
你等等 You know what? Hold on a second.
有事吗？ Can l help you?
妳是哪位？ Who might you be?
我是史提勒的老妈 l'm Stifler's mom.
喔，我是吉姆的老爸 l'm Jim's dad.
拜啰，混帐 Later, fucker.
天啊，这真是我看过最可笑的东西了 Oh, my God, this is the most ridiculous thing l've ever seen.
老兄，你身材真好！ Dude, you have an amazing body!
大家为克里斯欢呼！ Everybody, raiSe the roof for ChriS OStreicher!
你这整季都很拼命 You have really been bringing it all SeaSon long.
但现在要看美国观众是否认同 But now it'S time, ChriS, to See if America thinkS you done brought it.
准备好了吗？ - 来吧 You ready? Let'S do it.
请看结果 Let'S See the reSultS.
“克里斯奥斯39％ 吉尔伯特加佛莱61％”
蛤？怎么是你出局？ What? Gilbert Gottfried and not you?
妈的乱搞！ Fucking bullshit!
克里斯，我很抱歉 ChriS, I'm So Sorry, man.
你跳过舞了，现在可以闪了 well, we Saw you jam. Now, it'S time to Scram.
最后有没有什么话要对观众说？ Do you have any laSt thoughtS for the audience?
好了，各位，看到这就够了 Okay, guys, we can probably end it there.
开什么玩笑，我还没看过呢 What? No, are you kidding? l haven't seen this.
我想我学到的是… I think what I've learned iS to be true
要做自己… to mySelf,
因为跳舞就是要表现真我 becauSe that'S what dancing iS, it'S truth.
也许… And maybe,
如果我们多跳一一点舞 if we juSt danced a little bit more,
就再也不会有战争 there would be no more warS.
拒绝战争！ No more war!
真是令人深思的外交政策评论 Well, that is a thoughtful take on foreign policy.
别走开，霍克浩根的热舞，马上回来 HOST: Stick around. Hulk Hogan getS jiggy-friggy, right after thiS.
千万别错过，不要转台 You don't want to miSS thiS. Stick around.
我觉得你输得很冤枉 lf you want my opinion, l think you got cheated.
你还好吧？ Are you okay?
妳知道吗？ You know,
当你失去重要的东西 when you lose something that's important to you,
感觉很差 it doesn't feel very good.
奥斯，那不过是个电视节目罢了 Oz, it's Just a show.
我不是在说节目 l'm not talking about the show.
海蒂，妳在楼下吗？ RON: Hey, Heather, you down there?
来了！ Um, coming!
喔，天啊 Oh, my God.
在这里等着，我马上回来 Wait here, l'll be right back.
我进史提勒房间无数次… l can't tell you how many times l walked into Steven's room
老是抓到他跟女生在上床 and l caught him in the middle of sex with some girl.
至少他是跟真的人上床 At least he was with a real, live human girl.
什么意思？ What are you talking about?
有一次我进厨房，看到吉姆在捅派 l walked into the kitchen once, and l saw Jim humping a pie.
不到两秒整个派就碎了 He turned the damn thing into a crumble in about two seconds.
我还有更好笑的 l can top that.
有一次我进房间 l once walked into my bedroom
抓到史提勒用我的梳子戳屁眼 and l caught Steven sticking my hairbrush up his ass.
而且他不是用把手那一头 No, and it wasn't the handle side, either.
不，不，不 No, no, no.
妳这种美女不该喝这么多酒 A pretty lady like you shouldn't be drinking quite so much.
我也不该 And neither should l.
那来一管怎么样？ How about a Joint, then?
我们不必等13年再见面 We don't have to wait 13 years to see each other again.
对，没错 Yeah, true.
我想我可以跟你去探险 And l guess l could come along on one of your adventures.
我会是个好跟班吗？ Am l good sidekick material?
跟班？ Sidekick?
我觉得妳不只是个跟班 l think you are a lot more than sidekick material.
你没事吧？ ls everything okay?
好多了 lt's better than ever.
好，等等 Okay, wait, wait.
我觉得我们的服装不适合 l don't think we're dressed appropriately for the occasion.
把这穿上 Put that on.
等一下，妳要去哪里？ Wait, where are you going?
换衣服，马上回来 To change. Be back soon.
兄弟们！ Dudes!
怎么样，老兄？ BOTH: What's up, bro?
史大支？ WOMAN: Big Stiffy?
喇叭妹莉丝坦 BlowJob Lipstein.
妈的开什么玩笑！ Oh, you have to be fucking kidding me!
你说什么？ Excuse me?
来吧 Okay.
你干嘛？你以为我会就这样帮你吹？ What the hell are you doing? You Just expect me to blow you?
不然呢？ Yeah!
我要走了 l'm out of here.
等等，等等 Wait. Wait, wait!
我懂 Look, l get it.
妳对自己的身体很敏感 You're self-conscious about your body.
别担心，反正我会关灯 Don't worry. l was going to shut the lights off anyway.
你还是跟高中一样贱 You are the same douchebag that you were in high school.
你指望我付出一切却空手而回？ You Just expect me to do everything while l get nothing?
再见 - 不，不！ Later. No, no!
我们谈个条件 Let's make a deal.
我让妳高潮，妳也让我射 l'll get you off, you get me off.
怎么样？ What do you say?
可以 Fine.
但你要努力一点 But l am putting you to work.
惨了 Holy shit.
尽情吃吧！ Chow time!
你在这啊！ (SlGHS) There you are!
我到处找你 l've been looking all over for you.
听着，我们真的要… Listen, we really need to...
妳在干什么？ What are you doing?
享用我的东西 Taking what's mine.
不，我只是想听听妳的声音 No, l Just wanted to hear the sound of your voice.
你没事吧？你听起来有点心烦 Aw, is everything okay? You seem stressed.
心烦？ Stressed?
你在这啊！ There you are!
不，不，不 No, no, no.
我得走了，我等一下再打给妳 l have to go right now, but l'll call you back in a little bit.
好，别担心，我不会自己看偶像剧的 Okay. And don't worry, I won't watch Gossip Girl without you.
我想你，宝贝 - 我也想妳 I miSS you, babe. l miss you, too.
听我说，维基，昨天晚上… Listen, Vicky, about last night,
我不是那样的人 that wasn't me.
我们做的事情… With what happened...
我不知道，也许在妳的世界很正常 l don't know. lt might be normal in your world.
你以为发生了什么事？ What do you think happened?
我们的衣服都在地上 Well, all our clothes were on the floor.
因为你喝醉掉进湖里，衣服都湿透了 Yeah, because they were soaking wet from when you got drunk and fell in the lake.
我帮忙照顾你 l took care of you.
所以我们没嘿咻？ So, we didn't have sex?
当然没有 Of course not.
喔，感谢老天！ Oh, thank God!
我很高兴你这么看得起我 l'm glad you think so highly of me.
不 No.
维基，等等 Vicky, wait.
喔耶，喔，天啊！ MlA: Oh, yeah! Oh, my God! (MOANlNG)
米雅，住手 Mia, stop.
喔，我的天啊，耶！ Oh, my God, yeah!
米雅，起来！ Mia, get off!
快了！我快来了！ l'm about to! l'm about to!
海蒂 Heather.
搞什么啊？ What the hell?
你跟这个荡妇有一腿？ You have something going on with this skank?
妳叫谁荡妇，妳这个臭贱人 Who are you calling a skank, you fucking bitch?
住手！住手！ Stop it! Stop!
住手！ Stop it!
我靠！ Ow! What the fuck?
那是我的接发，贱人！ That's my extension, you bitch!
操你妈的！ You motherfucker!
不，米雅，等等！ No, Mia! Wait a minute!
对了，我跟马力欧罗培兹上过床！ By the way, l fucked Mario Lopez!
好，该我了 Okay, it's my turn now.
你想得美 Uh-uh. Not this time.
等等，我们不是说好了？ Wait, what about our deal?
你现在知道我的感受了吧，史大支 Now you know how it feels, Big Stiffy.
好恶！ Gross!
妳不会以为我又睡着了吧 You didn't actually think l'd fall asleep again, did you?
只要你是我的，我就开心了 As long as you're mine, l'm happy.
卡拉，妳来这干嘛？ Jesus, Kara. What are you doing here?
你的怪咖朋友邀请我和我朋友来 Your creepy friend invited me and all my girlfriends.
衣服不错喔，很变态 Nice outfit, by the way. Very kinky.
惨了 (POUNDlNG ON DOOR) Oh, shit.
别担心，我锁住了 Don't worry. l locked it.
天啊 Oh, Jesus.
你们在这里搞什么东西？ What the hell kind of freaky shit is going on in here?
阿杰，你来这里干嘛？ AJ, what are you doing here?
我跟踪妳，我要亲眼看到 l followed you. l had to see it with my own eyes.
你弄坏我的水上摩托车，还搞我女友 First you fuck with my Jet ski, then you fuck my girlfriend?
不！老天，没有！什么事都没发生 No! God, no! Nothing happened.
你死定了，亚当山德勒 You're going down, Sandler.
亚当山德勒？哇咧 Sandler? What the...
老天！ Jesus Christ!
我要宰了你！ AJ: l'm going to kill you!
吉姆，你他妈的穿著什么东西啊？ Jim, what the fuck are you wearing?
我可以解释！真是的！ Hey, l can explain everything! Jesus!
来啊！ - 妈的！ Come on! Shit!
站起来，变态！ Get up, gimp!
别这样，我不想跟你打架，好吗？ Come on, l'm not fighting you, okay?
这样很蠢，我是大人 This is silly. l'm an adult.
喔，是吗？ Oh, really?
我觉得你看起来像个犯贱胆小鬼 Because to me you look like a little bitch pussy.
别当胆小鬼，吉姆 Don't be a pussy, Jim.
听着，阿杰，冷静下来，好吗？ Look, AJ, Just calm down, okay?
你们这些混帐竟敢在史大炮的趴捣乱 What makes you little fuckers think you can crash one of the Stifmeister's parties?
你刚刚叫自己史大炮吗？ Did you Just refer to yourself as ''the Stifmeister''?
真是史上最逊的名字 Because that's the lamest name ever!
我他妈的要宰了你 l'm going to fucking kill you.
过来啊 Bring it on.
嘿，史提勒，拜托，这… Hey, Steve, come on, this is...
你要去哪里？ Where do you think you're going?
别惹毛99年毕业班，贱人！ Don't mess with the Class of '99, bitch!
芬奇！ Finch!
不要伤害我朋友！ Don't hurt my friend!
放开我丈夫，你这死小孩！ Get off my husband, you little piece of shit!
糟了！警察杯杯来了！ Oh, crap! lt's the fuzz!
我们得出去，该怎么出去？ We have to get out. How do you get out?
我需要逃生路线！ l need an escape route!
妈的！ Oh, shit!
你要跟他在一起？ You want to be with him?
好！妳去吧！ Fine! He's all yours.
闪了啦！ Come on, man!
吉姆，到底是怎么回事？ Jim, what's going on?
这一切我很抱歉，我可以解释 l am so sorry for all of this. l can explain.
昨晚我遇到我们邻居卡拉 Last night l ran into Kara, our neighbor.
她喝醉不能开车，所以我载她回家 She was too drunk to drive, so l drove her home.
然后她开始脱衣服，摸我的… And she started taking off her clothes, and touching my...
我知道听起来不妙，但我们没做什么 Okay, l know it doesn't sound good, but nothing happened, okay?
我根本不在乎她！ l don't care about her at all!
谢谢你喔 Thanks a lot.
不，卡拉，等等，我不是这个意思 No, no, Kara, wait. l didn't mean...
等等，米雪儿，等等 Wait, Michelle. Hold on, hold on.
不是妳想的那样，好吗？ lt's not what you think, okay?
我发誓，我只是想把事做好… l swear, l was Just trying to do the right thing, and l...
妳一定要相信我，米雪儿，求妳 (SlGHS) You have to believe me, Michelle, please.
不管我相不相信你… Whether l believe you or not,
我很失望 l'm disappointed.
我要去外婆家住 l'm going to stay with my grandmother.
等等，米雪儿 - 不要跟着她，吉姆 Hold it, Michelle. No, Jim.
各位，已经打完了 Hey, the fight's over, guys.
我们不是来劝架的 We're not here to stop a fight.
我们是为了那辆失窃的摩托车来的 We're here about that stolen motorcycle.
车牌号码符合 Looks like the VlN numbers match up.
保罗芬奇 Paul Finch.
你被捕了 You're under arrest.
赞！ Awesome!
不好意思，警官 KEVlN: Excuse me, officer.
那是他赌阿根廷踢赢世界杯的奖品 He won that bike betting on the World Cup in Argentina.
你们搞错了 You made some sort of mistake.
怎么回事？ - 发生什么事？ Paul, what's going on? What is this about?
保罗 Paul.
芬奇，跟他们说 Finch, Just tell them.
保罗！ Paul!
猪头，晚上你被牢友插的时候… STlFLER: Hey, shitbreak, when you're getting rammed by your cellmate tonight,
就当作是凯文 think of Kevin.
米雪儿，我可以…拜托！ Michelle, can l Just... Please!
爸？ Dad? Ah!
爸？ Dad?
爸，你在干什么？ Dad, what are you doing?
你没看到我！我不在这里！ You didn't see me! l'm not here!
我不在这里！ l'm not here!
他还好吧？ ls he all right?
我不知道 l don't know.
芬奇怎么办？ What are we going to do about Finch?
管他去死喔，让他被关一晚 Fuck Finch. Let him spend the night in Jail.
干嘛这样，史提勒 Come on, Stifler!
你算什么朋友 Some friend you are.
那你们呢？ What about you guys?
不打电话，不写信，不回脸书讯息 You don't call me, you don't e-mail, you don't comment on my Facebook page.
回来参加同学会也不告诉我 You guys didn't even let me know you were coming back for the reunion.
因为我们知道你一定会把事情搞砸 Because we knew, somehow, you would find a way to screw things up.
抱歉喔，吉姆 Oh, l'm sorry, Jim.
我只想大家周末爽翻天，像高中一样 l wanted us to have a fucking fun time this weekend, like we did in high school.
但我们已经不是高中生了 But we're not in high school anymore.
你还活在过去，史提勒 You are so trapped in the past, Stifler.
你什么时候才会了解我们回不去了？ When are you going to realize that things will never be the way they used to be?
好吧 Fine.
我想派对结束了 Guess the party's over.
王八蛋 Dicks.
真是个好趴 Well, that was a great party.
我真的觉得超过瘾的 l honestly think l had fun.
至少有人玩得开心 Well, that makes one of us.
米雪儿有跟你联络吗？ Have you heard from Michelle?
没有，她不想跟我说话 No. She doesn't want to talk to me.
今晚的同学会怎么办？ What about the reunion tonight?
她说她不一定会去 She said she may or may not come.
你们俩是怎么了？ What's going on with you two?
吉姆，你想不想谈谈？ Jim, is there anything you want to talk about?
好吧 Okay.
你和妈… How often
多久… did you and Mom...
那个？ You know?
就是为了这个？ ls that what this is about?
你和米雪儿最近都没有… You and Michelle haven't been...
最近都没有 Not lately, no.
是因为… ls it
你硬不起来？ an erectile problem?
有时候你可以拖延一点时间… Because sometimes you can buy a little time
先用拇指代替 with a well-placed thumb.
喔，天啊 - 只是说说罢了 Oh, God. l'm Just saying.
不是那个原因 - 不是吗？ l don't think that's it. That's not it?
这招要学起来，屡试不爽 Oh! That's something to keep in your back pocket, because that's a no-fail.
好，别再提这个 Okay, let's be done with that.
那方面没有问题 No, things in that department were fine.
后来艾文出生了 And then Evan was born
我们就不做了 and we kind of stopped.
之后也都没做了 And they haven't really picked up since, you know?
这不算问题，别担心 This is not a problem, so do not worry.
你懂？ - 懂啊，听着 You understand? Yeah, listen, Jim.
你还没出生前 Before you were born,
你妈和我每天都做 your mother and l, we would do it every day.
我不需要听这个 l don't need this.
有时候一天两三次 Sometimes two or three times a day.
那是七○年代，大家都勇于尝试 This is back in the '70s. A lot of experimentation was going on.
你妈超喜欢一招叫“长驱直入” Your mother favored something she called, ''diving for dollars.''
挖哩咧，我不需要… Holy shit. l'm sorry, l don't need...
没关系，我们可以… (CLEARS THROAT) That's fine, we can...
不需要继续讨论这个 l don't have to go on with that.
我的重点是，虽然有了孩子做了爸妈 But my point is, when you have a kid, you become a dad and a mom.
继续当夫妻也是很重要的 But it's very important not to stop being a husband and a wife.
这样性爱才会持续 And if you do that, the sex will come.
听起来还蛮有道理 That actually makes a lot of sense.
但你们不能等两人独处的时光 But you can't Just wait for the two of you to be alone.
要自己想办法制造机会 You have to make your own alone time.
你以为你为何一周去犹太学校三次？ Why do you think you went to Hebrew school three times a week?
周日中午到三点，周二四点到七点？ Sundays, noon to three? Tuesdays, four to seven?
好，我懂了，爸 Okay, l get it, Dad.
如果你懂，干嘛问这些？ lf you get it, then why the questions?
对不起 l'm sorry.
很抱歉你经历这些，我应该支持你 You're going through this, l am sorry. l should be listening.
不，我反应过度了，对不起 No, l'm overreacting. l'm sorry.
谢谢你 (SlGHS) Thank you.
又救了我一次，真的 Again. Really.
别客气 Anytime.
“欢迎99年毕业班”
各位，欢迎 Welcome, you guys.
去拿名牌，找指定的位子坐 Listen, find your nametag, find out what table you're sitting at.
艾许莉，好高兴见到妳！ Ashley, so good to see you! Oh, my God.
比利！天啊，你看起来真瘦 Billy! Oh, my God, you're looking so svelte.
你以前超肥，我好担心 You used to be morbidly obese. l was concerned. KEVlN: Hey.
嘿，各位 Hey, guys.
嘿，吉姆 - 奥斯 Hey, Jim. Oz.
米雅呢？ Where is Mia?
她早上搭飞机走了 She flew out this morning.
喔，我很抱歉，兄弟 Oh. l'm sorry, man.
米雪儿呢？ What about Michelle?
我还不确定 l am not sure yet.
芬奇！ ALL: Finch!
怎么回事？我一直打电话去警局 What happened? l called the police department a thousand times.
谢了，是我妈把我保释出来的 l appreciate that, Kevin. But my mom, actually, bailed me out.
兄弟们，我搞砸了 Guys, l screwed up.
那辆机车是我老板的 That bike belongs to my boss.
他答应要给我加薪，但他耍我 And l was promised a raise, and l didn't get it, so l
所以我就借了那辆车 simply borrowed it.
其实我的人生一点也不有趣 The truth is that my life isn't interesting at all.
我是文具量贩店的副理 l am an assistant manager at a Staples in Bayonne, New Jersey.
我骗了我的死党，对不起 l lied to my best friends, and l'm sorry.
你知道吗，虽然你违背原则 You know, Finch, Just because you sold out
跟我们大家一样工作无趣 and got a boring Job like most of us,
但不表示你很丢脸 that doesn't mean you should be embarrassed.
对啊，别这样，那些鸟事不重要 Yeah, come on, man. None of that shit matters.
这对我意义重大 That means a lot, gentlemen.
那你的手臂是怎么回事？ What about your arm?
我开车时打翻咖啡 l spilled coffee on myself while l was driving.
不会吧 No. (CHUCKLES)
超痛的耶 lt hurt like a bitch, though.
我想也是 - 你真是的 l'll bet. Jesus, Finch.
嘿，你们看看这个 Oh, hey, check this out, you guys.
很扯吧？看看我们 Crazy, huh? Look at us.
好多回忆 OZ: A lot of memories.
“史提勒” ''Steve Stifler.
“希望跟麻吉们一直开趴” ''Hopes to keep the party going with his boys.''
有看到他人吗？ Any sign of him yet?
我觉得他不会来了 l don't think he's going to show.
史提勒？ Stifler?
你们怎么找到我的？ How'd you find me?
我们问你妈的 We asked your mom.
没有喔，我什么都没做 Oh, no. l didn't do anything.
我们想为昨晚说的话道歉 We wanted to apologize for what we said last night.
我们不是有意的 We didn't mean it.
少来了，我懂，你们觉得我很鸡巴 Yeah, you did. l get it, you guys think l'm a dick.
好吧，其实… Okay. Well,
也许你还蛮鸡巴的 maybe you are kind of a dick.
但… But,
你鸡巴起来很好玩 you're a fun dick.
你是我们的鸡巴 And you're our dick.
是啊，老兄 Yeah, man.
因为有你，高中才这么好玩 You were one of the biggest reasons that high school was awesome.
是啊，高中超好玩 Yeah, high school was awesome.
结果毕业以后，大家开始工作 Then we graduated and everybody started getting Jobs
结婚生子，一大堆鸟事 and getting married and having kids and all that other stupid shit.
现在，看看我，窝在这里被看扁 Now, look at me. l'm the bitch of this place.
史提勒，我们的人生都不完美 Look, Stifler, none of our lives are perfect.
尤其是我 Especially mine.
但我们继续玩，一起去同学会如何？ But what do you say we keep this party going, and hit up this reunion together?
这里在搞什么鬼？ What the hell is going on here?
天啊，这就是那个王八 Oh, my God. This is the Jackass.
你根本还没开始做，还在这边… You're not even close to being finished and you're up here
跟朋友喇赛？ ''chilling with your posse''?
不好意思，我们可以解释 Sorry, we can explain.
不，凯文 No, Kevin.
让我来 Allow me.
是啊，凯文，让他来 Yeah, Kevin, allow him.
最好有好理由，史呆勒 This better be good, Stafler.
我叫史提勒，操你妈 lt's Stifler, fucker.
你以为你是谁啊？ (SCOFFS) Oh, wow. Who the hell do you think you are?
你在马子面前摆架子？ Are you acting tough in front of your girlfriend? Huh?
我们都知道她只是为了你的钱 Because we both know she's only with you for your money.
绝对不是为了你的屌 Definitely not for your dick.
站你旁边尿尿的人都知道你超小根 Because anybody that's peed next to you knows it's the size of a leprechaun's pinkie.
才不是 That's not true.
“才不是”，本来就是 (MOCKlNGLY) ''That's not true.'' Oh, yeah, it is.
你有豪华办公室，我连桌子都没有 Look, Just because you got a fancy office and l don't even have a desk
但这不会改变我们的个性 doesn't change who we really are.
事实是，你还是个呆瓜 The truth is, you're still a dork,
我还是能痛扁你 and l can still kick your ass.
但我不会 But l'm not going to.
你知道为什么吗？ You know why?
因为我是他妈的史大炮 Because l'm the fucking Stifmeister.
你跟这份工作都去屎吧 And you can take this Job and shove it up your dickhole
因为我要去参加同学会 because l have a reunion to attend.
伙伴们 Dudes?
对了，我根本不知道该怎么做这些 By the way, l had no clue what l was doing with any of this shit,
所以，你有得忙了 so you got a lot of work to do.
惊喜！ - 嘿！妳来了！ Surprise! Hey! You made it.
那当然 Of course.
底特律狮队今年有没有机会？ What do you think about the Lions this year? They got a shot?
要看攻击线锋防守行不行 We'll see if their offensive line can hold.
你要参加名人来尬舞明星赛吗？ Are you planning on being on Celebrity Dance Off.; All StarS?
其实我没想那么多 l actually haven't thought much about that.
你应该考虑一下 You should think about it.
抱歉，各位，失陪一下 l'm sorry, guys, you'll have to excuse me.
我可以接手吗？ Can l cut in?
不知道，你保证不脱衣服？ l don't know. Can you promise to keep your shirt on?
我开玩笑的啦 Come on, buddy, l'm busting balls. Huh?
当然可以 Yeah, of course.
我去拿饮料 l'll get us some drinks.
好 Okay.
你不是该跟女友跳舞吗？ Shouldn't you be dancing with your girlfriend?
米雅和我分手了 Mia and l are over.
她要我成为…另一个人 She wanted me to be someone else.
我不想 Something that l don't want to be.
你想要什么，克里斯？ What do you want, Chris?
海蒂，我要妳 Heather, l want this.
我要我们在一起 l want us.
你洛杉矶的工作怎么办？ What about your career? LA?
听我说，我知道这样很疯狂 Look, l know that it's crazy.
我现在也没有答案，但我看到妳 And l don't have all the answers right now, but l see you,
我就知道… and l Just know
我要妳 l want you.
我爱妳 l love you.
我爱你 l love you.
我滑雪下山，有人心脏病发 So, l'm skiing down a mountain. Guy has a heart attack right there.
我救了他一命，大新闻，网络上有 Saved his life. lt was a big story, you can google it.
是啊，大新闻 Yeah, it was.
我想也是 l bet.
哇咧！失陪了 Holy shit! Excuse me.
不好意思，现在是怎样？ Hey, excuse me. What the hell is going on?
朗，我可以解释 - 真的假的？跟他？ Ron, l can explain. Seriously, this guy?
我他妈的是心脏科医师 l'm a fucking heart surgeon,
他不过是小台体育记者 this guy's not even on ESPN.
冷静点，朗 Hey, take it easy, Ron.
怎样？你想揍我吗，奥斯？ What are you going to do? Hit me, Oz? Huh?
喔，我有个主意，来尬舞好了？ Oh, l got an idea. What about a dance-off? Huh?
这不是实境秀好吗？这是真实世界 This isn't a reality show, okay? This is the real world.
你挥拳，我就告死你 You take one swing at me, l will sue you for all you're worth.
我一文不值，猪头 l'm not worth Jack shit, Dron.
我是你的鸡巴 l'm your dick.
他输惨了！ - 超赞的！ Dropped him! That was awesome!
我们那晚玩得好开心 Listen, we had a blast the other night.
你考虑过当派对顾问吗？ Have you ever thought about being a party planner?
因为我们要你筹划我们的婚礼 Because we want you to plan our wedding.
答应吧 Say yes.
好，耶！我很乐意 Yeah, yeah! l'd love to.
赞！天啊 Nice! Oh, my God.
谢了！ - 太棒了 Thanks! This is great, man.
太感谢你了，谢谢你，兄弟 Thank you so much. Thank you, bro.
别客气 - 谢谢你 You're welcome. Thank you.
我有话跟妳说 l have to tell you something.
你不需要解释 You don't have to explain.
芬奇，我喜欢你不是因为 Look, Paul, l didn't like you because you climbed the Alps,
你爬阿尔卑斯山或是徒手杀骆驼 or killed a camel with your bare hands.
我喜欢你是因为你还是当年那个好人 l liked you because you were still the same good guy
在高中时代真的对我好 that was actually nice to me in high school.
我还是那个人 l'm still that guy.
真的 l really am.
你知道，上次来这里参加毕业舞会 You know, the last time l was here was for prom.
我没有伴 - 我也没有 l didn't have a date. Neither did l.
我得去拿饮料 l have to get a drink.
怎么了？ What?
我舞技那么差吗？ - 对 Was my dancing that bad? Yeah.
凯文！嘿！ Kev! Hey!
嘿，洁西卡！ Hey, Jess!
你留胡子了！看起来很帅 Wow. Look, you have a beard! lt looks great.
谢谢 - 我开玩笑的 Thanks. l'm kidding.
直接说重点吧 Let's Just get this out of the way. (CLEARS THROAT)
我现在是蕾丝边，这是我女友英格丽 l'm a lesbian now, and this is my girlfriend. This is lngrid.
很高兴认识你 - 我也是 Good to meet you. Nice to meet you, too.
女同志？我就知道！ Lesbians? (LAUGHlNG) l knew it!
妳们喇舌证明一下 Why don't you guys make out and prove it.
你一定是史提勒，我听说很多你的事 You must be Stifler. l've heard a lot about you. Ow!
大部分都不是好事 Mostly negative.
酷，靠北喔 Cool, dude. What the fuck?
洁西卡，很高兴见到妳 Jessica, it's good to see you.
才怪 No, it wasn't.
靠腰咧… What the...
凯文，你应该去跟维基谈谈 Look, Kev, l think you should go talk to Vicky.
她心情很不好 She's really upset over there.
好，谢了 Yeah, thanks.
很高兴认识妳 Nice to meet you.
要像个男子汉，你现在长胡子了 Be a real man, you have a beard now.
凯文，别说了，我没事 Kevin, don't. l'm fine.
别这样，昨晚我太过分了 Come on. l was a complete Jerk last night.
我只是很气你觉得我知道你结婚了 l was Just upset that you would think that l would do that
还会做那种事 knowing that you're married.
我知道妳不会 l know you wouldn't.
说真的，是因为我自己太紧张了 Honestly, that was more about me being nervous.
和妳重逢，所有的旧情绪又浮现 Seeing you again, all these old feelings came up, and...
我不知道，我只是觉得内疚 l don't know, l guess l Just felt guilty.
但事实是，我对妳还有感情… But the fact that l still have feelings for you
表示我们曾拥有的很特别 Just means that what we had was special.
别误会 Don't get me wrong, all right.
我爱艾莉胜过一切 l love Ellie more than anything.
但无论过了多久… But no matter how much time passes
妳永远是我的初恋 you'll always be my first love.
你也是 And you'll always be mine.
凯文 Kev. Hey.
你一定要试试杯子蛋糕，超好吃 You have to try these cupcakes, they're awesome.
艾莉，这位是维基 Ellie, this is Vicky.
那位维基？凯文说了好多妳的事 Oh, my God! The Vicky? Kevin has told me so much about you.
妳真幸运，他是个好人 You're a really lucky girl. He's a great guy.
跟我们一起跳舞 - 不了，没关系 Come dance with us. No, it's okay.
来嘛，一起跳 Yes, come on, this is happening. Come on.
我是吉姆 My name's Jim.
我们一起上李老师的英文课 We were in Mr. Lee's English class together.
是吗？ Really?
抱歉，我不认得你 Yeah, l... Sorry, l don't remember you.
没关系 Okay.
我是大家在网络上看的那个孩子 l was the kid who everyone saw on the lnternet.
抱歉，你得说清楚一点 Mmm. Sorry, you're going to have to be more specific.
我早泄了两次 l pre-eJaculated twice.
喔，吉姆李文斯丁！对了！ Oh, Jim Levenstein! Right!
对，吉姆李文斯丁 Levenstein. Yeah, Jim Levenstein.
我现在想起来了 Now l remember. Yeah.
高中毕业后怎么样？ So, how have you been since high school?
蛮不错的 - 是喔 Pretty good. Yeah, pretty good. Let's see.
我娶了世界上最棒的女人 l married the most wonderful woman in the world.
生了史上最可爱的小孩 And we have the cutest kid ever.
听起来很完美 lt sounds like things are perfect.
我愿意尽所有努力让一切完美 l'm willing to do whatever it takes to make it perfect.
意思是我要尽力当最性感的丈夫 And that means being the sexiest husband possible.
真的吗？ Really?
米雪儿，妳好美 Michelle, you look beautiful.
喔，谢谢 Oh, thanks.
妳想跳舞吗？ Would you like to dance?
我想 l'd love to.
史提勒 Stifler.
薛曼？薛曼终结者？ Sherman? The Sherminator?
你最近搞得如何？ What the fuck have you been up to?
结了婚，生了孩子 Married. Had a kid.
也离婚了 And divorced.
喔！很抱歉 Oh! l'm sorry.
是喔，假仙 Yeah, l'm sure you are.
但你知道吗？至少福隆还是我的孩子 But, you know what, at least l got to keep little Furlong.
你用明星名字帮小孩取名？ You named your kid after Eddie Furlong?
没错，你知道为什么吗？ Yes, l did. You know why?
因为魔鬼终结者2还是史上最棒电影 Because Terminator 2 is still the greatest film ever made.
老兄，你真的需要打一炮 Dude, you need to get banged bad.
好，我们得离开这里 Okay, we have to get out of here.
就在等你说这句 lt's about time. Yeah.
没希望了 lt's a lost cause.
这些女人不是结婚了，就是有伴 All these women are either married or came with dates.
嘿，朗妮 WOMAN: Hey, Loni.
老兄，想不想爽一下？ Dude, how would you like to have your world blown?
“发现：朗妮莉丝坦 任务：终结她” (BEEPlNG)
再会了，史提勒 HaSta la viSta, Stifler.
好极了，只有我没得吃 Great, everybody's getting laid but me.
逊毙了 This sucks.
不好意思 Excuse me.
我在找保罗芬奇，你有看到他吗？ l'm looking for Paul Finch. Have you seen him anywhere?
妳找芬奇干嘛？ What do you want with Finch?
我来接他，我是他妈 l'm here to pick him up. l'm his mom.
芬奇有妈妈？ Finch has a mom?
我是说，妳是芬奇的妈？ l mean, you're Finch's mom?
是啊，你是他朋友吗？ Yeah. Are you a friend of his?
喔，是啊 Oh, yeah.
他是我的死党 Paul is like my best friend.
我超爱他，从没这么爱过 l love him so much. More now than ever before.
我们应该没见过，我是史提勒 ln fact, l can't believe we haven't met. l'm Steven Stifler.
我是瑞秋 l'm Rachel.
怎么了？ What? What is it?
我觉得有坏事要发生了 l Just got this feeling like something really bad is about to happen.
别担心，我会很安静的 Don't worry. l'll be as quiet as a church mouse.
喔，吉姆！ Oh, Jim!
我好想要妳 - 你现在才知道 l want you so bad. (lN HUSKY VOlCE) Oh, you have no idea!
喔，天啊！ Oh, God! Oh, God!
我要射了，我忍不住了 Oh, God, there it is. l don't think l can hold it anymore.
忍住！ - 对不起，我会忍 Hold it in! l'm sorry, l will.
我忘了有多爽 l Just forgot how awesome this is.
喔耶，我好需要 Oh, yeah, l need this.
喔，米雪儿，干，我爱妳！ Oh, God, Michelle! Fuck, l love you!
吉姆？ Jim?
娜迪雅？ Nadia?
拍谢，你在忙齁 l'm sorry. You are busy, yes?
没有 - 对 No. Yes.
对，对 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
娜迪雅，好高兴见到妳 Nadia, it's so nice to see you.
但妳可以给我们一分钟吗？ But do you think you could give us a minute?
三分钟 - 三分钟 BOTH: Three. Three minutes.
好啊！好开心你们还在一起 Okay! So nice you are still together.
看得粗来你夜来夜行了 And l see you've gotten much better at this.
谢了 Well, thanks.
那就是吉姆？他跟我长得一点也不像 That's Jim? He looks nothing like me.
我高中时代跟曲棍球选手交往过 You know, when l was in high school, l dated a lacrosse player.
事实上，不只一个 ln fact, l dated a few of them.
不会吧 You don't say.
我一直希望芬奇能多运动 l always wanted Paul to be more into sports.
但他一直都没兴趣 But he was never that interested.
妳不必说得这么含蓄 You don't have to sugarcoat it.
芬奇笨手笨脚的 Finch was a klutz.
是啊，他是，但可不是遗传我的 Yeah, l guess he was, but he did not get that from me.
我是拉拉队长 l was head cheerleader.
我从曲棍球员身上学到的… And if there's anything l learned from lacrosse players,
就是喜欢握棒子… it's that l like to handle a stick
还有把玩球… and cradle those balls.
我爱妳 l love you.
准备好应付我了吗，史提勒？ Are you ready for me, Stifler?
喔，当然！ Oh, yeah!
来吧 Let's go.
喔，米雪儿 (MOANS) Oh, Michelle.
天啊，米雪儿 Oh, God, Michelle.
你好棒喔！ You are amazing!
比浴缸还棒？ Better than the bathtub?
棒多了 Much.
比这个还棒？ Better than this?
当然 Of course.
喔，脱掉！ STlFLER: Oh, take those off!
我们不该这样做 RACHEL: We shouldn't be doing this.
我们应该这样做 Yes, we should. (UNZlPPlNG)
喔，史提勒 Oh, Stifler.
喔，芬奇的妈！ Oh, Finch's mom!
叫我史大炮！ Call me the Stifmeister!
噢，你是史大炮！ Yeah, you are the Stifmeister.
干妈？ MAN: MlLF?
干妈 (UNENTHUSlASTlCALLY) MlLF.
干妈 MlLF.
说我最棒 STlFLER: Tell me l'm the best.
你最棒！ RACHEL: You are the best!
干妈 MlLF.
干妈 - 干妈 MlLF. MlLF.
喔，芬奇的妈！ STlFLER: Oh, Finch's mom!
干妈！干妈！干妈！ BOTH: MlLF! MlLF! MlLF!
喔！不要停！ RACHEL: Yes! Yes!
妳儿子是大呆！ STlFLER: Oh, your son's such a dork!
别再提他了！ Stop talking about him!
第一次同学会结束了 Well, our first reunion is officially in the books.
我不晓得你们觉得怎样 l don't know about you guys,
但我昨晚过得很爽 but my night ended pretty well.
很棒 lt was great.
我玩得很过瘾 - 很难忘 l had a blast. lt was unforgettable.
干！我像种马一样狂射 Fuck yeah! l Jizzed like a racehorse.
你后来跑哪去了，史提勒？ What happened to you at the end of the night, Stifler?
你跟谁离开？ Who did you end up with?
绅士绝不泄漏天机 A gentleman never kisses and tells, Jim.
各位 JlM: Guys?
我马上回来 l'll be right back, okay?
卡拉！ Kara!
我为那晚说的话道歉 Look, l'm sorry about what l said the other night.
不，该道歉的是我 No, l'm the one who should be apologizing.
我不敢相信我的行为，好丢脸 l can't believe the way l acted. l'm so embarrassed.
别这么想 Don't be.
我在妳的年纪时，也对性很沉迷 When l was your age l was pretty obsessed with sex, too.
我知道 l know.
我在网络上看过影片 l've seen the YouTube clip.
喔，是喔 Oh, of course you did.
不过，谢谢你的体谅 But, thanks for understanding.
我想过，你是对的 l was thinking about it, and you're right.
我应该等特别的人 l should really wait for someone special.
但要找到跟你一样好的人很难 Just, it's going to be tough to find a guy as good as you.
我相信妳会找到的 l'm sure you will.
这个周末后我觉得自己变了个人 l feel like a whole new man after this weekend.
要离开了觉得有点难过 Kind of sucks we have to leave, though.
我还没要走 Not me.
我要休个假 l'm going to take some time off my Job
和海蒂留在这里一阵子 and stick around here with Heather for a while.
不赖嘛！ Nice!
你呢，芬奇？ What about you, Finch?
瑟琳娜和我打算去欧洲度假 Selena and l, we're planning a little Jaunt to Europe.
记得打电话给你妈，她想你 Just make sure you call your mom. She misses you.
你怎么知道？ How would you know?
所以就这样了吧，回去各自的生活？ l guess this is it, huh? Back to reality?
我们不该等下一次同学会 We shouldn't wait until the next reunion.
应该每年都聚聚 We should try to get together every year.
怎么样，期待下一次吧？ What do you say, until next time?
期待下一次 Until next time. Until next time!
我搞了芬奇的老妈 (MlMlCKlNG COUGH) l fucked Finch's mom.
什么？ What?
搞什么？ What was that?
这是怎样？ What's this?
喔，亲爱的，不要，不，不，不 Oh, no, dear. No, no, no.
不要，亲爱的，不要！ No, dear. No! (UNZlPPlNG)
喔，天啊，喔，天啊！喔，天啊！ Oh, boy. Oh, boy! Oh, boy!
喔，我的天啊！喔，我的天啊！ Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
喔，我的天啊 Oh, my God!
真好看的电影 Great movie.