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翻译：Krisbobo，蕤蕤蕤，空调贝，蛋炒熊，哼哼猪，进化的时间轴
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校对：吕黎 监制：吕黎 后期：L.P(chongmei3250)
片中所有名字 角色 剧情均为虚构
若有雷同 [不管是活人还是死人哈] 纯属巧合
三傻大闹宝莱坞
喂? Hello?
什么 What?
先生 请关闭手机 Sir, kindly switch off your mobile phone.
马上就好 Just one sec, please.
劳驾 Excuse me?
先生 快坐下 Sir, please sit down.
机长 机舱内有意外 Captain, there's a medical emergency.
有位乘客在过道晕倒了 A passenger has just failen down in the aisle.
新德里 印度101号航班 Deihi, air India 101
紧急情况请求返回 returning due to medical emergency.
醒醒 先生 Excuse me, sir.
慢着 Hold on!
我没事了 多谢 I'm fine now, thanks.
你们请回吧 Carry on, please.
别走 先生 Gentleman, wait.
-找到车了 -迪隆先生吗 - Get the car! - Mr. Dhillon?
非得把名字纹脑袋上吗 Want the name tattooed?
快上车 Get the car!
去酒店吗 先生 To the hotel, sir?
对 但往沃森特·威哈那儿开 Yes, yes, but via Vasant Vihar.
开快点 伙计 Step on the gas, dude!
法尔汉吗 Yeah, Farhan?
快点 5分钟后我来接你 Get ready. I'll pick you up in five minutes.
怎么了 What happened?
查特来电话了 记得他吗 Chatur called. Remember him?
那个"消音器"? The 'silencer'?
是的 他说兰柯回来了 Yeah, he said Rancho is coming.
什么 What?
他说8点学校水塔见 He said come to the campus at 8 on the tank.
你大爷的 Oh shucks!
快点 Hurry!
好 Ok.
亲爱的 我很快回来 Honey, I'll be back soon.
鞋子 Oh, shoes.
我们的朋友有消息了 We found our buddy.
什么 What?
回头再说 拜 Tell me later, bye.
你没穿裤子 You forgot your pants.
那么现在去酒店吗 先生 Now to the hotel, sir?
是的 但还要再去下皇家工程学院 Yes, but via Imperial College of Engineering.
好吧 先生 Ok, sir.
忘穿袜子了 Forgot my socks.
不只袜子 More than just your socks,
还有裤子 your pants.
不是吧 Oh no.
马上去机场接我哥 Now get my brother from the airport.
跟我一个姓的 Same as the name Dhillon.
我是迪隆啊 This is Dhilion.
车子在哪里 Where's my cab?
还没到吗 On the runway?
兰柯 Hey Rancho.
查特 兰柯在哪儿 Hey Chatur, where's Rancho?
兰柯 Rancho.
兰柯人呢 Where's Rancho?
欢迎啊 白痴们 Welcome, idiots!
来点葡萄酒吗 Some 'Madeira' for you?
跟你们这几天喝的朗姆差不多 The same Rum you guzzled those days.
试试 Have a drink.
兰柯在哪儿 Where is Rancho?
别急 先看看这个 Patience. First look at this.
别盯着我老婆看 Don't eye my wife.
看后面的豪宅 白痴 Check out the mansion behind, idiots.
350万 $ 3.5 million.
泳池带温泉的 Swimming pool-heated!
客厅实木地板的 Living room-maple wood flooring!
还有最新款兰博基尼6.496L My new Lamborghini 6496 cc
速度超快 Very fast.
给我们看这些干吗 Why're you showing us all this?
忘了? Forgot?
这是什么 What's this?
9月5号 今天日期啊 '5th Sseptember'. Today's date.
9月5日
我们打赌 I challenge you.
10年后再见 We'll meet again after ten years.
老时间 老地点 Same day. Same place.
看看谁混得更有人样 We'll see who's more successful!
没种了吗 Have the balls?
怕什么 来啊 C'mon, bet!
想起来了? Remember?
就在这儿 我跟那白痴打的赌 I'd challenged that idiot right here.
我兑现承诺 回来了 I kept my promise. I'm back.
混蛋 Jackass!
我飞机都没坐 他裤子也没穿 I aborted a flight, he forgot his pants,
就是为了赶着见兰柯 all to meet Rancho.
五年来杳无音信 5 years we've searched.
我们都不知道他是不是还活着 Don't know if he's alive.
你却以为他会为了那个愚蠢的赌就会来 And you think he'll show up for your silly bet.
我知道他不会来 I know he won't show up.
你揍他还是我来... You gonna break his jaw or should I...
那你干吗叫我们来 So why'd you call us here?
见兰柯 To meet Rancho.
顺便看看我们都混得怎么样 Come and see where I've reached and where he rots.
你知道兰柯在哪儿 So you know where Rancho is?
是的 Yes.
哪儿 Where?
他在西姆拉 He is in Shimla.
他如风随行 Free as the wind was he
像疾飞的风筝 Like a soaring kite was he
去向何方 让我们追寻 Where did he go...let's find him
他如风随行 Free as the wind was he
像疾飞的风筝 Like a soaring kite was he
去向何方 让我们追寻 Where did he go...let's find him
我们顺着小路前行 We were led by the path we took
他正为自己开辟新径 While he carved a path of his own
充满迷惑 充满新奇 充满欢乐 Stumbling, rising, carefree walked he
我们的明天充满未知 We fretted about the morrow
他却今朝有酒今朝醉 He simply reveled in today
每一分钟都活得那么充实 Living each moment to the fullest
他到底来自何方 Where did he come from...
触碰了我们的心然后销声匿迹 He who touched our hearts and vanished...
他要去往何方 让我们找寻 Where did he go...let's find him
在炽热的太阳下 他是一片绿荫 In scorching sun, he was like a patch of shade...
在荒芜的沙漠里 他是一抹绿洲 In an endless desert, like an oasis...
破碎的心 由他为你填补 On a bruised heart, like soothing balm was he
恐惧 我们困在深井之中 Afraid, we stayed confined in the well
无畏 他却嬉戏于其中 Fearless, he frolicked in the river
毫不犹豫扑向汹涌的潮汐 Never hesitating to swim against the tide
他独身漫步云端 He wandered lonesome as a cloud
他是我们最亲密的朋友 ...yet he was our dearest friend
他将去向何方 让我们追寻 Where did he go...let's find him
兰柯 Rancho.
兰柯霍达斯·沙玛达斯·昌恰德 Ranchhoddas Shamaldas Chanchad.
他就跟他名字一样那么独特 He was as unique as his name.
从一开始我们就被灌输 From birth we were taught
人生就像一场比赛 life is a race,
要么超越别人 要么就落后 run fast or you'll be trampled.
就连生命的诞生 Even to be born,
都是3亿精子竞争的结果 one had to race 300 million sperms
我生于1978年下午5点15分 1978, I was born at 5.15 pm.
5点16分 我父亲就宣布了 At 5.16, my father announced:
我儿子将来必是工程师 My son will be an engineer.
工程师法尔汉·库瑞什 Farhan Qureshi. B.Tech. Engineer.
我的命运就这样被决定 And my fate was sealed.
没人关心我真的想做什么 What I wanted to be...no one asked.
拉贾·瑞丝奇 兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德 Raju Rastogi...Ranchhoddas Chanchad.
房号多少 Room number?
D-26 D-26.
跟我走 C'mon.
我叫曼·莫汉 I'm Man Mohan.
这些工程师们都叫我小个子 These engineers call me millimeter.
我卖鸡蛋 面包 牛奶还有洗衣服 For eggs, bread, milk, laundry,
代写学报 复印课堂笔记 finishing journals, copying assignments.
我全包 一口价 拒绝还价 I'm your guy. Fixed rates. No bargaining.
等下 拿着 Hey wait, hold this.
这是小千 小兆 还有他们老妈小亿 Meet Kilobyte, Megabyte and their mother Gigabyte.
能摸的 他们不咬人 Go ahead, this family doesn't bite.
跟他打个招呼 那个虔诚的教徒 Check him out...another God-fearing soul.
你好 我是法尔汉·库瑞什 Hi, Farhan Qureshi
我是拉贾·瑞丝奇 I'm Raju Rastogi
别担心 Don't worry.
用不了多久他就回归尘世间了 A few days here and he'll lose faith in God.
墙上挂满靓妞 然后念叨着 Then naked babes will be on the wall, and he'll say
神啊 赐我个妞吧 oh God, give me one chance with her.
快滚出去 Get out of here!
4块钱 一个包2块 Four bucks. Two per bag.
给你5块 不用找了 Here's five. Keep the change.
谢了 老板 Thanks boss.
给你个小提示做为报答 For your tip, here's one in return
今晚穿上你最性感的内裤 wear your best underwear tonight.
为什么 Why?
我敬爱的陛下 您崇高伟大 Your majesty, thou art great.
请接受这谦卑的问候 Accept this humble offering.
这家伙够男人 Here's a he-man.
这瓣真漂亮 What a pretty piece.
可爱又翘 Cute and compact.
学校的老规矩 第一天报道... A campus tradition-on day 1...
新人必须对学长们表示一下尊敬 Freshmen must pay their respects to seniors,
以脱到只剩内裤的方式 in their underwear.
这是我们第一次见到兰柯 This is when we first saw Rancho.
蜘蛛侠 Spiderman.
蝙蝠侠 Batman.
新鲜货色 Fresh meat.
先问候一下 Greetings.
然后脱掉裤子 盖个章 Drop your pants, get stamped!
叫什么 Name?
兰柯霍达斯·沙玛达斯·昌恰德 Ranchhoddas Shamaldas Chanchad.
真拗口 要好好记一下 What a mouthful! Needs serious cramming.
来吧 脱裤子 Come on, pants off.
这么不乖? Being stubborn?
裤子湿了可不好受 老兄 Wet pants not good, kiddo.
快脱掉 Take them off.
什么 What's that?
他刚说什么 What did he say?
谁来告诉他 詹姆斯·邦德 Someone tell him. Hey James Bond.
教教他规矩 Make him understand.
快脱裤子吧 不然他们会在你身上撒尿 Take off your pants or they are going to piss on you.
零零柒 说母语很丢脸吗 Hey 007! Ashamed to speak Hindi?
抱歉 我是乌干达人 在庞第皆瑞上的学 Sorry sir, I was born in Uganda, studied in Pondicherry.
所以不太懂印度话 So little slow in Hindi.
那就说慢点 别急 So explain slowly. No hurry.
冷吗 Feeling cold?
脱裤子 不然他就对你尿刑伺候 Pray undress or he'll do 'urine-expulsion' on you.
尿刑伺候 Calls pissing 'urine-expulsion'!
真是太有才了 A true linguist in the land of engineers!
别躲起来 Hey, come out of there.
快出来 不然... Come out or...
不然我就对你的门尿刑伺候 Or I'll do 'urine-expuision' on your door.
我数到10 你还不出来的话 If you aren't out by the count of ten,
我以后每天都对你的门尿刑伺候 I'll do 'urine-expulsion' on your door all semester.
1 One.
2 Two.
3 Three.
4 Four.
5 Five.
6 Six.
7 Seven.
8 Eight.
9 Nine.
10 Ten.
盐水可以做为电的导体 Salt water is a great conductor of electricity.
初中生都知道 8th grade physics.
我们只学了课本 We had studied it.
他却学以致用 He applied it.
韦鲁·萨哈斯布达教授是ICE的校长 [皇家工程学院的缩写] Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe was the director of ICE.
学生们都称他为病毒 电脑病毒 Students called him Virus, computer virus.
病毒入侵 还带着蛋 Virus on the way, with eggs.
新生们集合 动作快点 Freshmen are summoned. Come quickly!
病毒是我见过最好胜的人 Virus was the most competitive man we had ever seen.
他无法忍受任何人超越他 He couldn't bear anyone getting ahead of him.
为了节约时间 他衬衫用魔术贴 To save time, his shirts had velcro.
领带是直接勾上去的 And his ties had hooks.
他锻炼自己用两只手同时写字 He'd trained his mind to write with both hands simultaneously.
每天下午两点小睡一会儿 Everyday at 2 PM he took a 7 minutes power nap,
听着歌剧入眠 with an opera as lullaby.
戈尔文 Govind,
他的仆人 按命令行事 his valet, had instructions,
却总是做些没有意义的事情 to carry out all unproductive tasks.
比如修面 剪指甲等等 Such as shaving, nail-cutting etc.
-这是什么 -鸟窝 先生 - What is this? - Sir, nest.
-谁的 -这只杜鹃的 - Whose? - A koel bird's nest, sir.
错 Wrong.
杜鹃从不自己做窝 A koel bird never makes her own nest.
她在别人窝里下蛋 She lays her eggs in other nests.
当她们的蛋孵出来后 会怎么做 And when they hatch, what do they do?
她们把其他的鸟蛋推出去 They push the other eggs out of the nest.
这样就没有了竞争对手 Competition over.
他们生来就是杀手 这就是大自然 Their life begins with murder. That's nature.
生死殊斗 Compete or die.
你们就像杜鹃 You also are like the koel birds,
而这些就是你们为了进ICE所打破的蛋 and these are the eggs you smashed to get into ICE.
记住 ICE每年要收到40万份申请 Don't forget, ICE gets 400,000 applications a year.
只有200份能脱颖而出 就是你们 And only 200 are selected - you!
剩下这些呢 And these?
事实证明 Finished.
都成了破碎的蛋 Broken eggs.
我儿子...他努力了三年 My son...he tried for three years.
每次都被拒了 Rejected. Every time.
记着 人生就像一场竞赛 Remember, life is a race.
如果你不跑快点就注定被别人超越 If you don't run fast, you'll get trampled.
跟你们说个有意思的事情 Let me tell you a very interesting story.
这是支太空笔 This is an astronaut pen.
钢笔和圆珠笔在太空里无法使用 Fountain pens and ballpoint pens don't work in outer space.
所以科学家们花费了百万研发出这支笔 So scientists spent millions to invent this pen.
它可以用在任何情况下 It can write at any angle,
任何温度中甚至失重状态下 in any temperature, in zero gravity.
有天 我那时还是学生 One day, when I was a student,
我们院主任给我打了个电话 the director of our institute called me,
"韦鲁·萨哈斯布达" 他叫我名字 he said, 'Viru Sahastrabuddhe.' I said, 'yes sir.'
让我去他那里 当时我有点惶恐 'come here!' I got scared.
他给我看了这支笔 He showed me this pen.
跟我说那是成功的标志 He said, 'this is a symbol of excellence.'
"我把它赠予给你" 'I give it to you,'
"当你遇到一个跟你同样优秀的人" 'when you come across an extraordinary student like yourself
"把这个传给他" ...pass it onto him.'
32年了 我一直在等那个人出现 For 32 years, I've been waiting for that student.
但都没能如愿 But no luck.
在场各位 谁想赢得这支笔 Anyone here, who'll strive to win this pen?
很好 Good.
放下手 Put your hands down.
需要我发布在公告栏上吗 Shall I post it on the notice board?
放下手 Hands down.
有个问题 校长 One question, sir.
如果钢笔不能在太空使用 Sir, if pens didn't work in outer space,
那为什么宇航员不用铅笔 why didn't the astronauts use a pencil?
这样他们就能省下那笔钱 They'd have saved millions.
我一会儿回答你 I will get back to you on this.
他昨晚弄倒一个学长 He zaps a senior's privates at night.
今天又让校长当众出糗 Fingers the director in the day.
我们最好离他远点 Best avoid him.
你锉了校长的锐气 You deflated Virus's erection.
我敬爱的陛下 您崇高伟大 Your majesty, thou art great.
请接受这谦卑的问候 Accept this humble offering.
别扯了 Buzz off.
你不用上学吗 You don't have school?
谁给学费 你老爸吗 Who'll pay for it? Your pop?
-不许再提我老爸 -稍安勿躁 - Keep off my Dad! - Relax.
上学不用交学费 关键是校服 For school you don't need tuition money, just a uniform.
选个学校 买套校服 偷偷溜进去 Pick a school, buy the uniform, slip into class.
大家都穿一样的 没人会注意到你的 In that sea of kids, no one will notice.
-万一被发现了呢 -那就重新找个学校 - If I get caught? - Then new uniform, new school.
-看到没 -他确实不一般... - See that? - He was different...
他敢于挑战所有的规则 He challenged conventions at every stage.
一只热爱自由的鸟儿占据了病毒的鸟窝 A free-spirited bird had landed in Virus's nest.
我们就像机器人 只会盲从着教授 We were robots, blindly following our professors' commands.
他是唯一一个与众不同的 He was the only one who was not a machine.
机器是什么 What is a machine?
你笑什么呢 Why're you smiling?
教授 我儿时的梦想就是学工程 Sir, to study engineering was a childhood dream.
我很高兴实现了梦想 I'm so happy to be here finally.
用不着这么高兴 告诉我机器是什么 No need to be so happy. Define a machine.
机器就是减少人劳动力的东西 A machine is anything that reduces human effort.
你能说明白点吗 Will you please elaborate?
任何使工作简化 Anything that simplifies work,
节约时间的工具都是机器 or saves time, is a machine.
夏天天热 只要按下按钮 就会产生气流 It's a warm day, press a button, get a blast of air.
电风扇 就是机器 The fan...A machine!
跟远方的朋友聊天 Speak to a friend miles away.
用的电话 就是机器 The telephone...A machine!
计算机一秒百万次换算 Compute millions in seconds.
计算器 也是机器 The calculator...A machine!
我们被机器所包围 We're surrounded by machines.
无论是小小的笔尖还是裤子拉链 From a pen's nib to a pants' zip
全是机器的 all machines.
能快速拉上拉下 Up and down in a second.
上 下 上 下 Up, down, up, down...
那到底定义是什么 What is the definition?
我刚刚已经回答你了 教授 I just gave it to you, sir.
你考试的时候会这么写吗 You'll write this in the exam?
这就是机器 又上 又下 This is a machine - up, down...
白痴 还有谁会 Idiot! Anybody else?
就你吧 Yes?
教授 机器就是各种部分的结合体 Sir, machines are any combination of bodies so connected.
按照设定的指令工作 That their relative motions are constrained.
通过信号传送 And by which means, force and motion may be transmitted.
使用螺丝等工具或者利用杠杆原理 And modified as a screw and its nut, or a lever arranged,
对枢轴的支点或滑轮进行调试 to turn about a fulcrum or a pulley about its pivot, etc.
尤其是其构造几乎都由复杂的 Especially, a construction, more or less complex
活动零件组装而成 consisting of a combination of moving parts,
或由简单的机件部分 or simple mechanical elements,
如轮子 杠杆 凸轮等 as wheels, levers, cams etc.
棒级了 Wonderful!
非常好 请坐下 Perfect. Please sit down.
谢谢 Thank you.
教授 我说的是一样的 表达得更简洁 But sir, I said the same thing, in simple language.
喜欢少说话 那就去学艺术或者贸易 If you prefer simple language, join an arts and commerce college.
但是 我们必须搞明白 But sir, one must get the meaning too.
课本那种填鸭式教育到底想表达什么 What's the point of blindly cramming a bookish definition?
你觉得你比课本聪明吗 You think you're smarter than the book?
把书上的概念背下 除非你不想通过考试 Write the textbook definition, mister, if you want to pass.
-但是也有的书... -给我出去 - But there are other books... - Get out!
为什么 Why?
说简单点 出去 In simple language, out!
白痴 Idiot!
我们刚才讨论了机器的定义... So, we were discussing the machine...
你怎么又回来了 Why're you back?
我落了东西 I forgot something.
什么 What?
一种包括记录 分析 总结 组织 Instruments that record, analyze, summarize, organize,
讨论 解释于一体的 debate and explain information;
分为有插图 无插图 That are illustrated, non-illustrated.
硬装本 平装本 有封面 无封面 Hard-bound, paperback, jacketed, non jacketed.
附有前言 介绍 目录 索引 With foreword, introduction, table-of-contents, index.
意在启发 理解 That are intended for the enlightenment, understanding,
丰富 提升并培养人类大脑思维 enrichment, enhancement and education of the human brain.
通过想象力延伸 间或感受 Through the sensory route of vision, sometimes touch.
你在说什么 What do you mean?
书 教授 Books, sir.
我忘了拿书 能拿吗 I forgot my books. May I?
你就不能说简单点吗 Couldn't you ask simply?
我刚才试过了 不过好象行不通 I tried earlier, sir. It simply didn't work.
教授几乎不让兰柯上他的课... Professors kept Rancho mostly out...seldom in.
每当被轰出去 他就溜去上别的课 When thrown out of one class, he'd slip into another.
他说 第一年和最后一年是学知识的 He said - first year or fourth year, it's knowledge.
要抓紧 Just grab it.
他特立独行 He was unlike any of us.
我们每天早上为了洗澡而争抢 We fought for a shower every morning.
他只要有水就能洗 He'd bathe wherever he found water.
早 教授 Morning, sir.
他对机器充满热情 Machines were his passion.
能拆的他都拆 When he spotted them, he opened them.
有的能恢复原状... Some he could re-assemble...
有些却不能 Some he couldn't.
还有另一个跟他很像的人 There was another, just like him.
乔伊·洛博 Joy Lobo.
校长 等等 校长 Sir. Excuse me, sir.
乔伊·洛博先生 Mr. Joy Lobo!
校长 我想问下毕业仪式是哪天... Sir, if I could know the convocation dates...
怎么了 Why?
我父亲要订火车票 Dad wants to make train reservations.
我是俺们那村第一个工程师 I'm the first engineer from my village.
大家都想来看看 Everyone wants to attend.
要是那样的话 给你爸打电话 In that case, call your Dad.
动作快点 Please hurry up.
别浪费我时间 Don't waste my time.
喂? Hello.
爹 校长要跟你说话 Dad, the director wants to speak to you.
乔伊 Joy!
洛博先生 你儿子今年不能毕业 Mr. Lobo, your son won't graduate this year.
怎么了 校长 What happened, sir?
他总是拖延功课 He has violated all deadlines.
洛博先生 Mr. Lobo,
不切实际的东西用来干吗 it's an unrealistic project.
一天到晚摆弄那些无聊的飞机 He is making some nonsense helicopter.
建议你不要订火车票了 I suggest you don't book your tickets.
我很抱歉 I'm so sorry.
校长 我可以毕业的 校长 Sir, I am this close, sir.
你的课题完成了吗 Is your project ready?
校长 请你看一眼这个 Sir, see it once, please.
把课题交上 学校才会考虑下 Submit it, and we'll consider.
校长 再给我点时间 Sir, a small extension...
为什么 我为什么要再给你点时间 Why, why should I?
我爸中风后的两个月我都没办法集中精力 After Dad's stroke, I couldn't focus for two months.
那你饭也不吃了吗 Did you stop eating?
不是 No.
澡也不洗了? Stopped bathing?
不是 No.
那你为什么不学习 So why stop studying?
校长 我真的快弄好了 Sir, I'm very close.
求你了 就看一眼... See it once, please...
洛博先生 Mr. Lobo!
我儿子星期天下午从火车上摔下来死了 Sunday afternoon, my son fell off a train and died.
星期一早上我还是照常去上课 Monday morning, I taught a class.
所以别跟我说这些废话 So don't give me that nonsense.
我同情你 但不会给你延长时限 I can give you sympathy, not an extension.
校长 我真的快要做好了... Sir...I'm very close...
我的这一生 Life long I lived.
都为着别人而活 The life of another.
哪怕只有一瞬间 For just one moment,
让我为自己而活 let me live as I...
我的这一生 Life long I lived.
都为着别人而活 The life of another.
哪怕只有一瞬间 For just one moment,
让我为自己而活 let me live as I...
给我点阳光 给我点雨露 Give me some sunshine. Give me some rain.
再给我一次机会让我重新成长 Give me another chance I wanna grow up once again.
给我点阳光 给我点雨露 Give me some sunshine. Give me some rain.
再给我一次机会让我重新成长 Give me another chance I wanna grow up once again.
这家伙的设计棒得惊人 Dude's come up with an amazing design.
给直升机装上无线摄像头 A wireless camera atop a helicopter.
可以用于查看实时路况和安全监管 Can be used for traffic updates, security.
但是病毒那老头说这个设计不实用 But Virus said it's an impractical design.
它不会飞 It won't fly.
它会飞的 我们能让它飞起来 It will fly! We'll make it fly.
别告诉乔伊 给他个惊喜 Don't tell Joy. It'll be a surprise.
我们可以让它飞到他窗口拍下他的反应 We'll fly it up to his window and capture his reaction.
如果我们帮他做项目 谁来帮我们做 If we work on his project, who'll work on ours?
笔试口试测试 每学期有42场考试 Tests, vivas, quizzes - 42 exams per semester.
兄弟你真容易退缩 You scare easily, bro.
把你的手按在胸口说 平安无事 Take your hand, put it over your heart, and say, 'aal izz well'.
-平安无视? -是平安无事啦 - All is well? - Aal izz well.
精神领袖兰柯霍达斯的至理名言 Words of wisdom from his holiness guru Ranchhoddas.
我们村以前有个巡夜老人 We had an old watchman in our village.
每次他巡夜的时候就会喊 平安无事 On night patrol, he'd call out, 'aal izz well'.
我们就睡得很安稳 后来来了个小偷 And we slept peacefully. Then there was a theft.
我们才知道那老头有夜盲症 And we learned that he couldn't see at night!
他只是喊句平安无事 我们就感到安全 He'd just yell 'aal izz well', and we felt secure.
从那天我明白了 我们的心很容易动摇 That day I understood this heart scares easily.
你得学会哄它 You have to trick it.
不管问题多严重 However big the problem,
告诉你的心 "伙计 平安无事" tell your heart, 'all is well, pal'.
这能解决问题吗 That resolves the problem?
不能 但是你得到了面对问题的勇气啊 No. But you gain courage to face it.
学着点兄弟 我们很快就会需要这个的 Learn it up, bro. We're gonna really need it here.
当生活失去控制 就动动你的嘴唇 When life spins out of control just let your lips roll.
动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 Let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
当生活失去控制 就动动你的嘴唇 When life spins out of control just let your lips roll.
动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 Just let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
大喊平安无事 Yell - all is well...
鸡们不知道蛋的命运 The chicken's clueless about the egg's fate.
是孵化还是变成蛋卷 Will it hatch or become an omelette.
没人知道未来会怎样 No one knows what the future holds.
所以动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 So let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
用口哨吹走烦恼 平安无事 Whistle away the toll yell. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
哥们 平安无事 Hey mate. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
困惑越来越多 解决方法却没几个 Confusion and more confusion no sign of any solution.
终于有了办法 等等 问题是什么 Finally a solution but wait. What was the question?
如果懦弱的心 怕得快要死了 If the timid heart with fear is about to die.
用一个简单的谎言 让它不再害怕 Then con it bro, with this simple lie.
心是个傻瓜 它会相信你的话 Heart's an idiot, it will fall under that spell.
动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 Let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
用口哨吹走烦恼 平安无事 Whistle away the toll yell. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
哥们 平安无事 Hey mate. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
酒能让奖学金泡汤 却不能让忧愁跑掉 Blew the scholarship on booze but that did not dispel my blues.
熏香点燃我的命运 而神灵却不见踪影 Holy incense lit up my plight and yet God's nowhere in sight.
小羊羔不知道自己命运 The lamb is clueless for what it's destined.
是被烤还是剁成肉酱 Will it be served on skewers or simply minced.
没人知道未来会怎样 No one knows what the future holds.
所以动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 So let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
用口哨吹走烦恼 平安无事 Whistle away the toll yell. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
哥们 平安无事 Hey mate. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
当生活失去控制 就动动你的嘴唇 When life spins out of control just let your lips roll.
就动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 Just let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
平安无事 All is well.
鸡们不知道蛋的命运 The chicken's clueless about the egg's fate.
是孵化还是变成蛋卷 Will it hatch or become an omelette.
没人知道未来会怎样 No one knows what the future holds.
所以动动你的嘴唇 用口哨吹走烦恼 So let your lips roll and whistle away the toll.
用口哨吹走烦恼 Whistle away the toll.
有了 有了 Eureka! Eureka!
平安无事 All is well.
鸡小姐 平安无事 Mrs. Chicken. All is well.
羊羔先生 平安无事 Mr. Lamb. All is well.
兄弟们 平安无事 Hey bro. All is well.
让它飞到乔伊的窗口去 Hey, take it up to Joy's window.
再高点 Take it higher.
快看屏幕 那哥们光着呢 Look at silencer - the nude dude!
乔伊 快出来 Joy, come out.
到窗户这边来 Come to the window.
乔伊 看外面 Joy, look outside.
我放弃
给我点阳光 给我点雨露 Give me some sunshine. Give me some rain.
再给我一次机会让我重新成长 Give me another chance I wanna grow up once again.
有个好消息 校长 Good news, sir.
警察和乔伊的爸爸都没有线索 The police and Joy's father have no clue.
大家都觉得是自杀 Everyone thinks this is suicide.
尸检报告说 The post mortem report
死亡原因是气管压力过大 Intense pressure on windpipe
导致窒息 resulting in choking.
大家都觉得他死于气管压力 All think the pressure on the jugular killed him.
那这4年来的精神压力呢 What about the mental pressure for the last four years?
报告里没提 That's missing in the report.
工程师是群聪明人 Engineers are a clever bunch.
但他们却没能造出可以测量精神压力的机器 They haven't made a machine to measure mental pressure.
如果他们造出来了 大家都会知道... If they had, all would know...
这不是自杀 这是谋杀 This isn't suicide...it's murder.
你怎么敢把乔伊的死归咎于我 How dare you blame me for Joy's suicide?
如果一个学生不能处理好自己的压力 If one student can't handle pressure,
就是我们的错了吗 is it our fault?
生活充满了压力 你会总是怪罪别人吗 Life is full of pressures. Will you always blame others?
我没有怪你 校长 我怪的是这体制 I don't blame you, sir. I blame the system.
看看这些数据 印度的自杀率排在第一 Look at these statistics. India ranks No.1 in suicides.
每90分钟 就有一个学生企图自杀 Every 90 minutes, a student attempts suicide.
自杀死的人比病死的人还多 Suicide is a bigger killer than disease.
我们有些地方错得很严重 校长 Something's terribly wrong, sir.
其他的我不敢说 I can't speak for the rest.
但这里是全国最好的学校之一 But this is one of the finest colleges in the country.
我在这儿管了32年 I've run this place for 32 years.
我们学校的排名从28升到现在第一 We were ranked 28th. Now we're No.1.
那有什么意义 校长 What's the point, sir?
在这里 新想法新发明没人关心 Here they don't discuss new ideas or inventions.
人们只关心成绩 工作 去美国定居 They discuss grades, jobs, settling in the USA.
教我们怎么拿高分 却没教我们工程学 They teach how to get good scores. They don't teach engineering.
现在轮到你来教我怎么教书了吗 Now you will teach me how to teach?
不是 校长 我... No, sir, I...
校长 我的资料... Sir, my paper...
韦德颜纳森 坐下 Vaidyanathan, please sit down.
这里有位自称是教授的人 Here is a self-proclaimed professor
他觉得自己比我们的优秀教师还要厉害 who thinks he is better than our highly qualified teachers.
兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德教授现在给我们上工程学 Professor Ranchhoddas Chanchad will teach us engineering.
我们没那么多时间陪你耗 We do not have all day.
法哈尼楚特 柏饶拉朱利
你们有30秒时间来定义这两个词 You have 30 seconds to define these terms.
可以翻书 You may refer to your books.
找到答案了就举手 Raise your hand if you get the answer.
让我们看看谁最快 谁最慢 Let's see who comes first, who comes last.
计时 开始 Your time starts...now.
时间到 Time up.
时间到了 校长 Time up, sir.
没人找到答案吗 No one got the answer?
现在把你的人生往回倒一分钟 Now rewind your life by a minute.
当我问这个问题的时候 When I asked this question,
你们激动吗 好奇吗 were you excited? Curious?
为你能学到新知识而高兴吗 Thrilied that you'd learn something new?
有人有这种感觉吗 校长 Anyone? Sir?
没有 你们都陷入了一场疯狂的比赛 No. You all got into a frantic race.
这样的方法有什么用 即使你拿了第一 What's the use of such methods, even if you come first
你的知识多了吗 不 多的只有压力 will your knowledge increase? No, just the pressure.
这里是大学 不是高压锅 This is a college, not a pressure cooker.
就算是马戏团的狮子也会因为害怕被鞭打 Even a circus lion learns to sit on a chair
而学会坐在椅子上 in fear of the whip.
但是你们只会说这只狮子是训练得好 But you call such a lion "well trained",
而不是教育得好 not "well educated".
喂 Hello!
这不是哲学课 解释那两个词就好了 This is not a philosophy class. Just explain those two words.
校长 这两词根本不存在 Sir, these words don't exist.
只是我两个朋友的名字 法尔汉和拉贾 These are my friends' names. Farhan and Raju.
安静 Quiet!
乱来 你就这么教工程学吗 Nonsense! Is this how you'll teach engineering?
校长 我不是在教工程学 Sir, I wasn't teaching you engineering.
你才是工程学的专家 You're an expert at that.
我只是在教你 怎么教书 I was teaching you how to teach.
我相信总有一天你能学会 And I'm sure one day you'll learn.
因为我不像你 我不会放弃我的差生 Because unlike you, I never abandon my weak students.
再见 校长 Bye, sir.
安静 Quiet!
我说了 安静 Quiet, I said.
我很遗憾地通知您 您的儿子... I regret to inform you that your son...
法尔汉 拉贾 Farhan. Raju.
由于交友不慎 Has fallen into bad company.
如不尽快拨乱反正 将前途尽废 Without urgent corrective steps, his future will be ruined.
病毒的信像原子弹一样投到了我们的家里 Virus's letters dropped on our homes like atom bombs.
广岛和长崎一片废墟 Hiroshima and Nagasaki plunged into gloom.
我们的父母把我们叫回家狠狠地骂了一顿 Our parents invited us for a dressing down.
进来 Come in.
看到没? See that?
我们只用得起一台空调 We could afford just one air-conditioner.
我们把它放在法尔汉的房间 We put it in Farhan's room,
让他可以安心学习 so he could study in comfort.
我买不起车 就骑个小摩托 I didn't buy a car. I manage with a scooter.
我们把所有的钱都花在法尔汉的教育上了 We put all our money into Farhan's education.
我们牺牲了自己的享受来换取法尔汉的未来 We sacrificed our comforts for Farhan's future.
你懂吗 Understand?
这些是你照的吗 法尔汉 You took these pictures, Farhan?
他曾经的无用嗜好 He had that useless obsession for a while.
到处去给动物拍照 Went around taking pictures of animals.
想做个野生动物摄影师 Wanted to be a wildlife photographer.
儿子 那年你考了多少分 Son, what was your score that year?
91分 91%.
听到了吧 从94分直掉到91分 Hear that? Straight drop from 94% to 91%.
你觉得这很好笑吗 You find it funny?
不是的 先生 对不起 No, sir, sorry.
我是被这些照片逗乐了 I'm just amazed at the photos.
为什么让他当工程师 Why make him an engineer?
为什么不让他做个野生动物摄影师 Why not a wildlife photographer?
够了 Enough!
算我求求你了 别毁了我儿子的前途 I humbly request you - don't ruin my son's future.
饭好了 小伙子们 来吧 Food's on the table, boys. C'mon.
如果你下次拜访 再和我们一起吃饭吧 If you ever visit again, do eat with us.
爸爸没让我们吃饭 Dad denied us a meal.
所以 为了填饱肚子 So, to fill our bellies with food.
我们带着满耳的训斥去了拉贾家 And ears with more reprimands, we reached Raju's house.
拉贾的家就跟五十年代 Raju's house was straight out of
黑白电影里的一样 a 50's black and white film.
一个窄小阴暗的房间 A small, dingy room.
一个瘫痪在床的父亲 A paralyzed father.
一个咳嗽不停的母亲 A coughing mother.
还有一个嫁不出去的姐姐 And an unwed sister.
一张弹簧外露的沙发 A sofa sprouting springs.
24小时自来水供应 就是屋顶漏的 A 24 hour water supply - from the leaking roof.
母亲是个退休教师 喋喋不休地抱怨 Mother was a retired school teacher and a tireless complainer.
父亲曾经是邮政局长 Father was once a postmaster.
瘫痪让他的身体失去了部分功能 Paralysis shut down his body partly.
和全部的薪水 至于姐姐... His salary completely. And the sister...
甘默已经28岁了 Kammo's turned 28.
他们要辆车做嫁妆 They demand a car in dowry.
如果你不学习不挣钱 她怎么嫁得出去 If you don't study and earn, how will she marry?
要秋葵吗 Some okra?
秋葵现在12块一公斤 花椰菜是10块 Okra is now 12 per kilo, cauliflower is 10.
简直是抢劫 It's daylight robbery!
如果你被学校警告了 我们以后吃什么 What will we eat if we get warnings from your college?
妈 Mom!
要白软干酪吗 Cottage cheese?
白软干酪应该放天鹅绒盒里摆珠宝店卖 Cottage cheese should be sold at the jewelers, in velvet pouches.
-要白软干酪吗 -不 不用了 - Cottage cheese? - No, no, it's ok
妈 别这样 Mom, please.
好 我闭嘴 Alright, I'll shut up.
要养家糊口 要做牛做马 Earn for the family, slave like a maid.
还不给说话 And then take the vow of silence.
不跟我儿子说我还能跟谁说 If not with my son, with whom do I share my woes.
跟我儿子的朋友说吗 His friends?
拉贾 Hey Raju.
我们进退两难 We were in a huge dilemma.
不知该安慰我们的朋友还是他妈妈 Do we comfort our friend or console his Mom?
管他的 还是吃我们的干酪先 Screw it, we thought, let's focus on the cottage cheese.
现在连他的湿疹膏也要55块了 Even his eczema cream costs 55 now.
再来块烤肉吗 Another roti?
不用了 谢谢 我们饱了 No, thank you. We're through.
秋葵12块 花椰菜10块 Okra for 12, cauliflower for 10.
至少你们还吃了顿饭 At least you were offered a meal.
哪像你那个虐待狂老爸 简直就是希特勒 Uniike your sadistic Dad. "Hitler" Qureshi!
那你妈就是修女特雷莎 And your Mom is mother Teresa.
请我们吃湿疹烤肉 Feeding us 'eczema roti'!
-不许笑我妈 -够了 你们俩 - Don't poke fun at my Mom! - Enough, you guys.
饿死了 我们去吃东西吧 I'm famished. Let's eat out.
都月底了 谁付钱啊 It's month end. Who'll pay?
他妈妈特雷莎付啊? His mother Teresa?
出去吃不用带钱 To eat out,
只要穿礼服就行了 看 you don't need money. Just a uniform. Look.
-走吧 -走 - C'mon. - Come.
晚上好 晚上好 Good evening, good evening.
哎呀 老舅啊 Oh, uncle.
-3大杯伏特加 -一半苏打 一半水 - Three large vodkas. - Half soda, half water.
我们要是被抓到就死定了 If we're caught, we're dead.
-开胃菜有什么 -要双倍的 - What's for starters? - Get double portions.
把这个留这儿 去放点欢快的音乐 Leave this here and start some peppy music.
琵雅 这是什么鬼东西 Pia, what the hell is this!
你为什么要戴这个破古董一样没用的表 Why're you wearing this ancient piece of junk?
人们会怎么说 我的未婚妻... What'll people say? My fiancee...
一个前途无量的医生 A doctor in the making,
却带着个才200块的廉价表 wearing a cheap, 200 watch!
把它摘下来 谢谢 Please take it off. Thank you.
你好 帅哥 Hi handsome.
姨妈 你看起来真漂亮 Hey aunty. You're looking good.
快看我的首饰 亲爱的 Don't miss my set, darling
红宝石的吧 Rubies?
-曼德勒来的 -曼德勒啊 - From Mandalay. - Mandalay.
-过来见见大卫 -好的 - Hey, let's go meet David - Of course.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
怎么了 Yes?
这花送你 Flowers.
-介意我拿着玻璃杯吗 -为什么 - May I take the glass? - Why?
这样你就不会用它来砸我脑袋了 So you don't break it on my head.
我为什么要那么做 Why would I do that?
因为我现在要给你的免费建议 For the free advice I'll now impart.
是什么 What?
不要嫁给那个混蛋 Don't marry that ass.
什么 Excuse me?
那货不是人 那货是个价格标签 He's not a human, he's a price tag.
他会把你人生变成只有牌子和价格的噩梦 He'll turn your life into a nightmare of brands and prices.
他会毁了你的生活和前途的 He'll ruin your life. Your future will be finished.
要让我演示给你看吗 Want a demonstration?
让我来告诉你他的鞋是多少钱的怎么样 Shall I find out the price of his shoes?
我不问 他就会自己告诉我 I won't ask. He'll announce it himself.
操 哪个孙子把薄荷酱洒我300刀的鞋上了 What the hell. Mint sauce on my $300 shoes!
为了你的人生快跑吧 这是免费建议 Run for your life! It's free advice.
听不听随你 Take it or leave it.
真正的意大利皮革 手工的 Genuine italian leather - hand-stitched!
爸 他们是你的客人吗 Dad, are they your guests?
是我的学生 他们在这干什么 My students. What're they doing here?
爸 等等 Hold on, Dad.
这些豆闻起来真香 These beans smell great.
-没地方放烤肉了 -堆到上面去 - No room for roti. - Just pile it on.
真是让人大开眼界 太谢谢你了 That was an eye-opener. Thank you so much.
这是我的道德义务 It was my moral responsibility.
能再帮我个小忙吗 Can I ask you for little more help?
我爸不会让我毁掉这个婚约的 Dad won't let me break off this engagement.
你比较会说 能不能也给他演示一下 You explain so well. Can you give him a demo too?
当然 拉贾 薄荷酱 Certainly. Raju, the mint sauce.
你真好人 You're really sweet.
-你爸爸在哪儿 -就在你后面 - Where is your Daddy? - Right behind you.
平安无事 Aai izz well.
为了你的人生快跑吧 这是免费建议 Run for your life! It's free advice.
听不听随你 Take it or leave it.
你们在这里干什么 What're you doing here?
我们来把这些礼物交给新婚夫妇 We'll hand these gifts to the couple.
我帮你吧 这是我姐姐的婚礼 I'll do that for you. It's my sister's wedding.
姐姐? Sister?
校长 你有几个女儿啊 Sir, what's the sum total of your daughters?
空的 没有支票 Empty. No gift cheques.
怎么把支票忘了 拉贾...法尔汉 Forgot the cheques, Raju...Farhan?
我们没邀请你 你们是新郎的客人吧 We didn't invite you, you must be from the groom's side.
不 校长 我们代表着科学而来 No sir, we're here as the emissaries of science.
什么意思 你能解释一下吗 How? Can you explain?
爸爸 他这么能言善辩 Dad, he explains superbly.
我相信他会给我们一个解释的 I'm sure he'll give us a demo.
对吧 Won't you?
新德里经常发生停电... Well, Delhi has plenty of power cuts that...
这会打断婚礼的行进 Disrupt wedding celebrations.
所以我想造个能从客人的汽车里抽取电能 So I thought of making an inverter that
的换流器 draws power from guests' cars.
我懂了 I see.
那换流器在哪儿呢 So where's the inverter?
校长 设计图已经完成了的 Sir, the design is ready.
设计图在哪儿呢 法尔汉 Where's the design, Farhan?
-我把它给你了的 -我给了拉贾 - I gave you the design - I gave it to Raju.
拉贾 设计图呢 Raju, design?
别管设计图了 我会造出换流器给你看 Never mind the design. I'll make the inverter and show you.
你只会造谣 哪会造什么换流器啊 You can only invent stories, not an inverter.
我会做出来的 我保证 I'll make one, I promise.
而且还会以您来命名 And I'll name it after you.
毕竟 这是在你女儿的婚礼上发明的 After all, it was invented at your daughter's wedding.
很荣幸... So it'll be an honor...
法尔汉 拉贾 明天到我办公室来 Farhan, Raju. I'll see you in my office tomorrow.
校长 每盘多少钱 我们还您 Sir, what was the cost per plate? We'll reimburse you.
...不过得按揭 ...in instailments.
我们绝不会再乱闯婚礼了 We'll never crash a wedding again.
哪怕是我们自己的婚礼 Not even my own.
事实上 我甚至不会结婚 他也不会 In fact, I won't even marry. Nor will he.
对...不结婚 Uh...right. No marriage.
你们的父母也不该结婚 Your parents shouldn't have married either.
这世界本来可以少养两个白痴的 The world would have to feed two less idiots.
坐下 Sit!
听好了 Pay attention.
这是兰柯霍达斯父亲的月收入 This is Ranchhoddas's father's monthly income.
去掉两个零也还是一笔可观的收入 Couple of zeroes less, and it's still a sizeable income.
但是再去掉一个零 我就有点担心了 But erase another zero, and I would worry a little.
这不是你爸爸的收入吗 法尔汉 Isn't that your fathers income, Farhan?
是的 校长 Yes, sir.
再去掉一个零 Now take away another zero.
就变成你全家的收入了 贾·瑞丝奇 And that's your family income, Raju Rastogi.
真让人担心啊 Big reason to worry.
接受我的建议 搬去跟查特·雷曼宁甘一起住 Take my advice and shift into Chatur Ramalingam's room.
马上要考试了 Exams are here.
你们再跟兰柯混下去肯定不及格 Stay with Rancho and you're sure to fail.
-要刮胡子吗 -不用 校长 - Want a shave? - No, sir.
那还不快滚 Then get lost!
别担心 拉贾 Raju, don't worry.
病毒想要分裂我们 分而治之 This is Virus's move to split us. Divide and rule.
我不得不担心 I have to worry.
他给我们打分 He grades us,
我需要个好分数来找个好工作 and I need good grades for a good job
我们不像你 有个有钱的爸爸 Unlike you, I don't have a rich Dad I can live off.
闭嘴 拉贾 Shut up, Raju.
我们非要听他的废话吗 平安无事 Must we follow all his hogwash? 'aal izz well'
我才不会像你一样当他的跟班 I won't be his flunky like you.
你有点过分了 You're crossing the line.
不 我是在画好界限 No, I'm drawing one.
我要养家糊口 I have a family to support.
我爸的医药费花光了我妈的退休金 Dad's medicines swallow up Mom's pension.
我姐嫁不出去 因为他们要一辆车做嫁妆 My sis can't marry because they want a car in dowry.
我妈已经5年没买过一件新的纱丽服了 Mom hasn't bought a single saree in five years
不要把你妈的衣柜也扯到这个问题里来 Now don't get your Mom's wardrobe into the debate.
顺便问下 一年买几件纱丽服才正常 By the way, how many sarees per annum is reasonable?
别开我妈的玩笑 Hey...no wisecracks about Mom.
我们要用心学习 而不是只为求个分数 We'll study with all our heart, but not just for grades.
智者说 学习是以修炼气质而不为敛财 To quote a wise one -- study to be accomplished, not affluent
以优秀自律 成功自会随你而来 Follow excellence, and success will chase you, pants down!
哪个智者说过这话 Which wise one says this?
又是精神领袖兰柯霍达斯? His holiness guru Ranchhoddas?
别扯淡了 Go rot in the bogs!
拉贾 放轻松 我们会考第一的 万事皆有可能 Raju, don't stress. We'll top our class. Nothing is impossible.
万事皆有可能? 真的吗 Nothing is impossible? Oh yeah?
塞回管子里 Shove this back into the tube.
拉贾选择了另一条路 Raju got onto another train.
他在查特手下的悲惨命运开始了 His travails with Chatur began.
没错 是悲惨命运 不是快乐的旅程 Yes, I mean travails, not travels.
查特绰号"消音器" Chatur was called "silencer".
为了历练自己的记忆力 To sharpen his memory,
他向一位赤脚庸医求了几粒药丸 he popped pills from a local quack.
从此以后放屁不出声 却奇臭无比 And then let off silent...but lethal farts.
不是我...是拉贾放的吧 I didn't do it...Raju?
自己放屁却总让别人背黑锅 He always blamed others for the output.
消音器每天苦读18个小时 Silencer crammed 18 hours a day.
考试前夕 则想方设法分散他人注意力 On exam eve, he would distract others.
他坚信--人生登顶之路只有两条 His belief -- there are only two ways of topping:
抬升自己的分数或者压低对手的分数 elevate your own grades or shrink your opponents' grades.
兰柯则想出了绝妙的办法 Rancho decided to subdue silencer and rescue Raju
来帮助拉贾 消灭"消音器" with one master plan.
我们的导师孜孜不倦地服务于... Our director has unceasingly served...
"服务"的意思是... "served" means...
管他什么意思 记住就行 Damn the meaning, I'll memorize it.
查特负责在教师节那天致词 Chatur was the introductory speaker at the teachers' day function.
为了给病毒留下深刻印象 To impress Virus,
他找图书管理员帮忙 he got his speech written by the librarian
写一篇浮夸绚丽的文章来 in highbrow Hindi.
你好 稍等 查特 有电话 Hello. Hold on. Chatur, call for you.
帮我收一下打印稿 我去去就回 Please collect the printout. I'll be right back.
而我要做的是 Oh...the things I have to do.
杜别先生 校长念叨您呢 Mr. Dubey, the director was remembering you.
-真的吗 -没错 刚还念叨呢 - Really? - Yes. Just now.
我这就去见他 把这个交给查特 I'll see him right away. Give this to Chatur.
你好 喂? Hello. Hello.
你好 雷曼宁甘先生吗 Hello, Mr. Ramalingam?
什么事啊 Yes?
这里是警察局 I'm calling from the police station.
-你是乌干达来的吗 -是的 长官 - Are you from Uganda? - Yes, sir.
你现在有生命危险 Your life is in danger.
什么 怎么回事 What? How?
听好了 否则... Listen carefully, or else...
你一迈出校门就得一命呜呼 You'll get killed as you step out of the college gate.
为什么 出什么事了 Why? What happened?
查特被缠住的当儿 While Chatur was kept engaged,
兰柯改了改演讲稿里的几个词 Rancho altered a few words in his speech,
比如 把"服务"改成"压榨" for eg, 'served' became 'screwed'.
校长在吗 Yes, sir?
-你是谁 -我叫杜别 图书管理员 - Who are you? - Dubey. Librarian.
校长 我是终身任职的 I'm permanent staff, sir.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
等一下 警长在和我通话 Hold on a moment. The chief is on the other line.
喂? 你好 Excuse me, sir
那...我该去哪儿呢 Yes...so where was I?
你说我死定了...只要一出校门 You said I may die...outside the gate.
没错 你一出大门就会看见红绿灯 Right. As you get out of the gate, you'll see a traffic signal.
红绿灯 好的 Traffic signal. Ok.
红灯亮时 所有的车辆都会停下来 When it turns red, all the cars will halt.
对 然后呢 Ok. Then?
小心翼翼地穿过马路 Then cross the road with great caution.
因为孩子 在高峰时段被车撞的话 Because son, in rush hour if a car hits you,
就死定了 you're dead.
扯淡 我知道啊 What nonsense! I know that.
你知道了 好的 这样你安全了 You know that? Excellent. Then you're safe my boy.
管理员给你的 消音器 From the librarian, silencer.
不许那么叫我 昌恰德 You don't call me that, Chanchad.
校长说他没找过我 Hey. The director said he didn't call for me.
谁说他找你了 我是说他念叨你呢 Who said 'called'? I just said he 'remembered' you.
念叨? 你个淘气包 Remembered? Rascais!
尊敬的主席先生 Distinguished Mr. Chairperson.
各位贵宾 令人敬仰的教育部长 Chief guest, the honorable minister of education.
各位敬爱的老师 同学们 Respected teachers and friends.
ICE的招牌已名扬四海 Ice has now soared beyond the stratosphere.
一切的溢美之词 The credit goes solely to
却都涌向韦鲁·萨哈斯布达博士 Dr. Viru Sahastrabuddhe.
热烈欢迎他 Give him a big hand.
校长 声音是他的 Sir, the voice is his
可讲稿却出自我之手啊 but the words are mine.
他是一个伟人 您名副其实 He's a great guy, really you are.
32年来 他孜孜不倦地压榨学生 For 32 years, he has unceasingly screwed students.
他是想说 "服务"学生 He means - 'served' students.
我坚信他的努力还将继续 I'm sure his endeavors will continue.
我们不得不为他震惊 凭一己之力 We are astounded at how one man,
在一生中 竟可以压榨如此多的学生 in one lifetime can screw so many,
且压榨地淋漓尽致 so well.
他不断地训练以保持活力 With rigorous training he's built up his stamina.
他将生命的每一分钟投入到压榨中去 He's spent every living minute just screwing.
让我们继续他的事业 Let's replicate his methods.
明日我校的学生将走向世界各地 Tomorrow Ice students will go across the globe.
无论我们去往何方 Wherever we go,
我们都会将压榨进行到底 we promise to screw.
我们会让压榨者的旗帜在全世界飘扬 We'll hoist this screwer's flag all over the world.
我会向世人展示我们压榨的水平 We'll show the world that our capacity to screw
在地球上 cannot be matched by any student
将无人能及 anywhere on the planet.
部长先生 晚上好 Mr. Minister. Good evening.
您给予这所学院急需的东西 You have given this institution what it sorely needs.
-基金 -咪咪 - Booty, funds. - Bosom.
是基金 蠢货 咪咪的意思是... It's booty, stupid. Bosom means...
扯淡 太侮辱人了 What nonsense! That's insulting.
人人都有咪咪 但它被遮住了 Everyone has a bosom, but it remains pocketed.
没有人愿意轻易奉送 No one offers it so readily.
同学们 Vulgar fellow!
你们无私地奉献出了自己的咪咪 You have generously offered your bosom
将它交给了这位永不知疲惫的压榨者 to this relentless screwer.
让我们看看 他是如何使之变大的吧 Now see how he makes it grow.
校长 你就教这些东西吗 Is this what you teach here, director?
在这庄重的时刻 我愿引用梵文一句 On this august occasion, here's a sanskrit verse.
且听--屁的力量 Listen to this -- the might of his fart in verse.
神圣崇高的屁是如此令人崇敬 A good loud fart is honorable
"屁"? 继续 消音器 'fart'? Go, silencer.
半响的屁是可以忍受的 A medium fart is tolerable.
轻微的小屁实在可怕 Softer windbreaks are terrible.
而悠悠然的无声屁则最令人发指 And the silent ones unbearable.
这如同毫无意义的死记硬背 That's what mindless cramming does to you.
死记硬背陪伴你大学时代 Cramming may see you through four years of college.
而且它将陪伴你走过人生的另外40年 But it will 'screw' you for the next 40 years.
他还没发觉问题呢 He still doesn't get it.
"半响屁可以忍受"...难以置信 'medium fart is tolerable'...unbelievable!
兰柯 你真是位诗人 You're a poet, rancho.
你咋想出来这招的 How did you think of this?
这样多有趣 他都不知道哪儿触犯了部长 That was fun. He didn't know what hit him.
你这头猪 我平日怎么待你的 You swines! What did I ever do to you?
不要生气 别放在心上啊 Sorry man. Don't take it personally.
怎么别放心上 I will.
查特·雷曼宁甘 Chatur Ramalingam
将永远不会忘记这个侮辱 will never forget this insult.
我会每分每秒都记着这一刻的 I'll think of it every minute, every second of my life.
对不起 这只是给拉贾上了一课 Sorry man. That was a demo for Raju
不要盲目死记硬背啊 don't cram blindly.
要理解 享受科学的种种奇迹 Understand and enjoy the wonders of science.
我来这儿可不是为了享受科学的 I'm not here to enjoy science.
你是来这儿压榨科学的 So you're here to screw science.
继续啊 继续嘲笑我的方式 Go ahead. Laugh at my methods.
总有一天我的方法会给我带来成功的 But one day these methods will bring me success.
到那时 看谁笑到最后 That day I'll laugh and you'll cry.
你已误入歧途 别追逐成功了 You're on the wrong track again. Don't chase success.
好好当个工程师 成功会不请自来的 Become a good engineer and success will chase you.
这些理想在现实世界里是行不通的 These ideals don't work in the real world.
你走你的阳关道 我过我的独木桥 You take your train, I'll take mine.
十年后的今天 让我们在此再会 Ten years from now we'll meet at the same station.
老时间 老地点 看看谁混得更有人样 Same day. Same place. We'll see who's more successful.
是你...还是我 You...or I.
没种了吗 怕什么 来啊 Have the balls? C'mon, bet!
我们打赌 It's a challenge.
快看 Watch it!
他写什么呢 What's he writing?
不要忘了这个日子 Don't forget this date.
太贵重了 我接受不了 苏哈斯 I'm not used to such expensive gifts, Suhas.
你得适应啊 琵雅 Get used to them, Pia.
你要做苏哈斯的娇妻了 You're gonna be Suhas tandon's wife.
开票吧 伙计 Where's the bill, man?
稍等 I'll be back.
-你改了演讲稿? -什么 - You changed the speech? - What?
别撒谎 Don't lie.
恩...没错 Um...yeah.
你和我爸有什么深仇大恨 What's your problem with Dad?
没仇没恨 I have no problem.
我在发明一台以他名字命名的换流器 I'm making an inverter named after him.
看... Look...oh
你为什么总找他麻烦 Why're you harassing him?
因为他是在办工厂 不是学校 'cause he runs a factory, not a college.
批量培养混蛋 就像那样 Churning out asses. Like that one.
他亲手毁了学校 He destroyed it, man.
你竟敢叫他混蛋 How dare you call him an ass?
他就是 先当工程师 然后读MBA He is one! First engineering, then MBA.
去美国的银行工作 Then becomes a banker in the USA.
就因为这样赚的钱更多吗 Because it rakes in more money?
对他来说 生活就是一张盈亏表 Life for him is just a profit-loss statement.
他看到了你身上的价值 就利用你 He sees profit in you, so he's with you.
校长千金 又是个医生... Director's daughter, doctor in the making...
为自己打造形象 good for his image!
他在乎的不是你 It's not you he cares for
你以为自己是谁啊 Who do you think you are?
你说他不在乎我是什么意思 What do you mean he doesn't care for me?
新表? 等一下 New watch? One moment.
你总喜欢看我演示一下 You always need a demo.
苏哈斯 Hey Suhas.
你们干吗呢 Where were you?
她找她的新表呢 She's looking for her watch.
什么 你弄丢了那块表? What? You lost the watch?
没事 再买一块就行了 Never mind. Get another.
那要40万呢 It cost 400,000!
我的表只有250块 走得一样准 Mine's just 250, but keeps the same time.
闭嘴... Keep quiet...
你怎么能这么不小心呢 琵雅 How could you be so careless, Pia?
你这种满不在乎的态度真是太糟了 This callous attitude is disgusting.
太无礼了 It's disrespectful.
那是一块限量版的表 That was a limited edition watch.
好吧 戴着你那块古董垃圾去吃晚餐吧 Now wear your ancient piece of junk at dinner.
你看什么看 What're you staring at?
要准备来哭的了 成熟一点 琵雅 Here come the tears! Real mature, Pia.
我受不了这个 I can't handle this.
别哭了 好好找找 Stop crying and look for it.
这表 另找他人来戴吧 混蛋 Find another wrist for this watch...ass!
你太帅了 当面骂他混蛋啊 Hey, you're awesome. Called him an ass to his face.
滚开 Get lost.
这儿太吵了 It's too noisy here.
她该说"谢谢" 我听的却是"滚开" She's saying 'thank you', I hear 'get lost'.
-我说"滚开" -别搞得这么难堪嘛 - I said 'get lost'. - Don't get so uptight
事实上 你从来就没有真的爱上过他 Actuaily, you never really loved him.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
当你看着他时 风儿悄悄把故事传送? When you see him, do the winds whisper a melody?
你的头巾缓缓飞舞? Your scarf flies in slow motion?
明月当头? The moon appears gigantic?
这是电影里的情节 不是现实生活 That happens in movies, not in life.
生活中也会出现的 Happens in life too。
当你真的爱一个人的时候 If you love a person,
而不是一个混蛋 not an ass.
喂? 怎么了 Hello. What?
天哪 好的 我马上来 Oh God! Ok, I'm on my way.
你是学医的 对吗 需要你的帮助 You're a medicai student, right? Need your help.
-紧急情况 拜托了 -什么事 - It's an emergency, please. - What?
请先跟我来 你们医生的誓言怎么说的 Please come with me. What's that oath you doctors take.
你们绝不拒绝病人的求援 真够虚伪的 You'll never deny a patient help...the hippocratic oath.
请帮帮我 情况紧急 Please help me, it's an emergency.
你先是来我姐姐婚礼上吃霸王餐 然后又搅乱了我的订婚 You gatecrash my sister's wedding, break off my engagement.
因为你 爸爸不得不吃药 My Dad is popping bp pills because of you.
我还得在这儿帮你 And here I am, helping you!
真是难以置信 Unbelievable!
虚伪的誓词 真是害惨我们了 This hippocratic oath -- it's really done us in!
-拉贾在哪儿 -去找出租车了 - Where's Raju, Ma'am? - Gone to get a cab.
2个小时前就找急救车了 Called the ambuiance two hours ago.
在咱们国家 披萨都要送半小时 In this country, pizza reaches in 30 minutes
更何况是救护车啊 but an ambulance!
他需要赶紧住院治疗 情况紧急 He needs hospitalization. Urgently.
停车 Hey stop!
闪开 紧急情况 Move, it's an emergency!
闪开 闪开 Move...move...
医生 这里有紧急情况 Doctor, emergency!
有病人 That's the patient
拿着 拉贾来了 Keep this. Hey, here's Raju.
怎么回事 你们开着摩托车送爸爸来的? What the hell! You brought Dad on the scooter?
我应该打包送快递公司吗 Should I've sent him by courier?
别在要命的关头开玩笑 他人呢 No wisecracks on dads profession! Where is he?
去问问医生吧 Go ask the doctor.
琵雅 真是千钧一发啊 Close call, Pia.
再晚一点 就回天乏术了 A little delay, we'd have lost him.
幸好你们用摩托车送他过来 Glad you didn't wait for an ambuiance
而不是等救护车 and got him on the scooter.
有问题尽管找我 Call me if there's a problem
兰柯 谢谢你 Rancho! Thank you.
谢谢你的兄弟们吧 Thanking your buddies!
消音器没教你做人的规矩吗 Silencer isn' teaching you manners?
他没告诉你 朋友是人最棒的咪咪吗 Didn't he teach you -- a friend is man's greatest bosom?
走吧 明天有考试的 Go on now. You have an exam tomorrow.
考试多着呢 爸爸却只有一个 Exams we have many, Dad mostly just one.
我们不会撇下邮政局长先走的 We won't budge from here without the postmaster.
别担心了 Don't worry.
兰柯 原谅我吧 我那时是害怕了 Rancho, forgive me. I was scared.
没事了 好了 It's ok. Quiet, now.
请原谅我 Please forgive me.
没事了 静静吧 去看看你爸爸 It's ok, calm down. Go see your Dad.
别带着一脸泪水去看他 And don't go with that weepy face.
谢谢你 兄弟 Thanks buddy.
摩托车真方便 救了一条命 多少钱买的 Natty scooter. Saved a life. How much does it cost?
洒点薄荷酱上去 我就告诉你 Pour some mint sauce on it. It'll tell you.
独立日快乐 Hey, happy independence day.
今天不是独立日 Today isn't independence day.
对你来说就是 For you it is!
从今以后你就可以随心所欲戴你妈的表了 Now you're free to wear your Mom's watch.
没人再敢说它是块古董垃圾了 No ass can say it's an ancient piece of junk.
你怎么知道那是我妈妈的表 How do you know it was Mom's watch?
在你姐姐的婚礼上 你穿着闪闪的新衣 At your sister's wedding, you wore sparkling new clothes.
唯独表是旧的 Only the watch was old.
怎讲 What could that mean?
那天 你格外思念妈妈 不是吗 You really missed your Mom that day, didn't you?
是啊 Yes.
你妈妈肯定非常美丽 Your Mom must've been really beautiful.
对啊 你怎么知道 Yes. How do you know?
看到你爸爸了吗 Seen your Dad?
"人生是场竞赛 要是你不跑" 'life is a race. If you don't run fast.
"就只有死的份儿...布谷鸟" You'll be a broken egg...cuckoo bird'
你... You...
微风低语 轻送旋律 The winds whisper a melody
天空也跟着哼唱 The sky hums along
时间歌唱 Time itself is singing
我愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
我愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
树叶在枝上轻唱 蜜蜂群舞花心 Leaves sing on their branches bees jam with flowers
阳光在花瓣上欢舞 Crazy sunbeams dance off petals
小鸟在天空里欢歌 as birds yodel in the skies
花儿啊 大胆而无所顾忌的相拥 Flowers, bold and brazen snuggle
这电影的场景在你我之间上演 I've seen it happen in movies what's now happening with us
我那愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
我愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
让我们制作独特而又永恒的薄荷酱吧 Let's make the unique and ever useful mint sauce
这万能的酱定能测出谁是滥竽充数的骗子 The all-powerful sauce that exposes phony people
你的第七间屋子已打扫干净 Your 7th house is clear
躲过混蛋 你定遇得到好人 Shunning an ass, you'll fall for a human
时机已到 恋爱吧 Time is ripe for love
新德里的气温保持稳定 Temperature in new Delhi remains stable
天气晴朗 Clear skies.
但是对于恋爱的人来说 下雨才好呢 But if in love, expect rain
雨滴淅淅沥沥随风飞舞 Pitter-patter go the raindrops whish-whoosh whistles the wind
如同华尔兹 在天地间回荡 Do-da-dee waltzes the rain boom-boom echoes the sky
让大雨湿透你的全身 Drenched in rain and
点燃你的热情 随着音乐晃动你的臀部 passion you sway your hips on cue
电影里的场面 在我们的生活中上演 I've seen it happen in movies what's now happening with us
我愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
我愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
那低沉的月 那么迷人 The gorgeous low moon
为地球唱响小夜曲 serenades the earth
流星划过 低吟一曲爱的民谣 A shooting star skips along crooning a ballad of love
夜如此亮 可寂寞来袭 英俊的你 The night is bright but lonesome come touch me, my handsome
电影的场景在你我生活中上演 I've seen it happen in movies what's now happening with us
我愚笨的心儿啊 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
我愚笨的心儿 My silly heart goes
七上八下啊 as it jives and jigs along
我愚笨的心儿啊 goes my silly heart
早上好 醒醒啦 Hello. Wake up.
-邮政局长死了? -什么 - Huh...postmaster's dead? - What!
没有啦 笨蛋 No, stupid.
8点半了 你们的考试在9点 It's 8.30, your exam is at 9.
可我们不能把他一个人留在这儿啊 But we can't leave him alone.
有我在 不就3个小时嘛 I'm here. It's a matter of three hours.
骑我的摩托车去吧 要迟到了 Take my scooter. It's getting late.
天哪 真是块古董表 Gosh, what an ancient watch.
快走吧 Go.
-对不起 我们迟到了 -有紧急情况 - Sorry, we're late. - It was an emergency.
坐着吧 Settle down there.
老师 他们还在写呢 Sir, they're still writing.
好了 时间到 Hello. Time up.
拜托 再5分钟 我们迟了半个小时 Please, five minutes. We started half an hour late.
是有紧急情况 It was an emergency.
他盯着我们好像我们要了他的肾一样 He glared at us like we'd asked for both his kidneys.
我们继续写 But we continued writing.
他则接着整理卷子 He continued arranging the answer sheets.
好了 老师 Done, sir.
你们迟了 我不收了 You're late. I can't accept these.
老师 拜托了 Sir, please, sir.
你知道我们是谁吗 Sir, do you know who we are?
首相的儿子吗 就算是... Prime ministers son? Even then...
我也不会收你们的卷子的 I will not accept your paper.
你知道我们的名字和学号吗 Do you know our names and roll numbers?
不知道 No.
你们是谁 Who are you?
他不知道哈 快跑 He doesn't know, run!
你们的学号是啥 Hey, what's your roll number?
你们的卷子哪儿去了 Where the heil are their papers?
神啊 行行好吧 O lord, have mercy.
今天就是出分数的日子 Today was results day.
让我们和神灵来个交易吧 Time to make a deal with God.
让我的电子课学过了吧 我愿敬献椰肉 Just save my electronics. I'll offer a coconut.
神蛇先生 保佑我的物理成绩吧 Sir snake, biess my physics.
我保证每天敬献一品脱牛奶 I promise a pint of milk per day.
神牛啊 保我通过吧 请吃这鲜草 O mother cow, heip me pass...have this grass.
不再有关于姑娘的淫荡想法 No x-rated thoughts of girls in my class.
关照一下我的成绩吧 Watch over my results.
财神 我愿每个月敬献100块 God of wealth, I'll offer 100 every month.
100块还不够贿赂交警呢 100 won't bribe even a traffic cop,
更别说圣贤了 let alone the almighty.
从心底告白 Check from the bottom
你是最后一名 You are...last.
你呢 And you?
倒数第二 Second last.
兰柯呢 Rancho?
没他 Not there.
我心一沉 My heart sank.
不是因为我们的糟糕成绩啊 Not 'cause our ranks tanked,
是因为我们的朋友不及格 but 'cause our friend flunked.
肯定有问题 这不可能 不公平 There's a mistake. It's not possibie. It's injustice.
消音器为什么哭啊 What's silencer howling about?
他第二名 He got the second rank.
谁是第一呢 Who's first?
兰柯 Rancho.
兰柯? Rancho?
让开点 Move aside.
朋友不济 你难过 Your friend fails, you feel bad.
朋友发达 你更难过 Your friend tops, you feel worse.
真伤心 另外两个更伤心 We were sad. Two others were sadder.
兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德 第一排 校长右边 Ranchhoddas Chanchad. Front row. Right of the director.
乌代·锡哈 第二排 第三个座位 Uday Sinha. Second row. Third seat.
艾洛克·米塔尔 二排 第五个座位 Alok Mittal. Second row. Fifth seat.
萨赫利·拉奥 三排... Sahili Rao. Third row...
校长 为什么根据名次排座位啊 Sir, why this seating according to rank?
不行吗 Any problem with that?
不是 这个排名制度跟社会等级制度似的 Yes, this grading system is like a caste system.
好像奴隶一样 Slaves.
-这不太好 校长 -你有更好的建议吗 - It's not nice, sir. - You have a better idea?
有 成绩根本就不应该公开 Yes. Results should not be displayed at all.
为何要公开别人的隐私呢 Why publicise someone's flaws?
如果你缺铁 医生是给你开补药 If your iron count is low, will the doctor prescribe tonic...
还会在电视上广播你的病例吗 or air your report on TV?
明白吗 校长 You see, sir?
这么说来 你的意思是 So basically, what you are saying is
我得亲自去每个同学的房间 I should personally go to each student's room.
然后对着他们的耳朵悄悄地说 And whisper in his ears...
你是第一名 你是第二名 'you have come first'; 'you're second';
不好意思 你没及格 'I'm so sorry, you have failed'
不是这样 校长 我是说分数划分等级 No sir, I mean grades create a divide
我是第一名 所以坐在你旁边 I've topped, so I'm next to you.
我朋友排名在后 就坐在后面的角落 My pais came last, they're in the back corner.
至少他们还能坐在角落里 At least they're in the corner
再跟你混下去 他们连角落都别想坐 More time with you, and they'll be out of the photo.
他们都会不及格 找不到工作 They will neither pass, nor get a job
他们会找到工作的 校长 肯定有公司会... They'll get jobs, sir. There must be some firm that...
喜欢人类而不是机器 prefers humans to machines.
会找到工作的 我保证 They'll get jobs. I guarantee.
你保证? You guarantee it!
打赌吗 校长 Bet, sir?
-戈尔文 -什么事 校长 - Govind. - Yes, sir?
假如他们有人能在校园招聘会上找到工作... Even if one of them gets a job in campus interviews...
就刮掉我的胡子 Shave off my moustache.
校长 Sir!
-满意了吗 -笑一个 - Happy? - Smile, please
满意了 校长 Happy, sir.
混蛋 按喇叭来掩盖你的屁声 Jackass! Honking to hide your tooting.
好像腐烂的味道 你又吃放屁药啦? Septic tank! Popping pills again?
不是我 是拉贾放的 I didn't do it. Raju?
好熟悉的臭味啊 This is a familiar stink.
他是全球变暖的始作俑者 He's the sole cause for global warming.
我受不了了 I cannot take it.
钱包给我 我去买条裤子 Toss me your wailet. I'll buy pants.
-穿查特的衣服吧 -别碰我衣服 - Take Chatur's suit instead. - Don't touch my suit.
就算你只穿内裤 兰柯也认得出你 Rancho'll recognize you even in underwear.
-这地方在哪儿 -我识字的话 还会卖花生吗 - Where's this? - if I could read, wouid I sell peanuts?
他不识字 但是会说话吧 He can't read, but he can speak.
等下 你认识一个叫兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德的人吗 Wait. Do you know a Ranchhoddas Chanchad?
认识 他住那边 Yes, he lives there.
他如风随行 Free as the wind was he.
像疾飞的风筝 Like a soaring kite was he
去向何方 Where did he go?
找找他吧 Let's find him.
-查特 你的药 -谢谢 哪儿找到的 - Chatur, your pills. - Thanks. Where were they?
-口袋里 -我的裤子 - In the pocket. - My pants!
马克思说过 资源要共享 Karl Marx says to share all resources.
你这样别人会误会的 You'll give people ideas.
我现在就想要 I want it now.
怎么了 What happened?
兰柯的父亲 Rancho's father.
请问 兰柯霍达斯在哪儿 Excuse me, Where is Ranchhoddas?
-在那儿 -谢谢 - There he is. - Thank you.
-兰柯 -什么事 - Rancho. - Yes?
不好意思 我们找兰柯霍达斯 Sorry. We're looking for Ranchhoddas.
我就是兰柯霍达斯 I am Ranchhoddas.
不是 我们找兰柯霍达斯·沙玛达斯·昌恰德 No, I mean 'Ranchhoddas Shamaidas Chanchad'.
兰柯霍达斯·沙玛达斯·昌恰德 就是我啊 Ranchhoddas Shamaidas Chanchad. That's me.
兰柯霍达斯 节哀 孩子 Ranchhoddas, take care, son.
兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德 'Ranchhoddas Chanchad'
拉贾 Raju.
我穿着内裤横穿新德里到了西姆拉 I'll be in the Guinness book for
都能破吉尼斯了 driving Delhi-Shimla in underwear.
而且还找错了人 That too, for the wrong guy!
同名 同学历 同照片 就是不同人 Same name, same degree, same photo, but a different guy.
怎么回事啊 What's going on?
S消音器怎么找到兰柯地址的 How did silencer get Rancho's address?
说的对 Good point!
查特 过来 Chatur, come here.
你敢打开这个 我从旧金山带来的 How dare you open this? I got this from San Francisco.
手工饼干 Handmade biscuits.
特意为范素科·旺都先生准备的 Specially for Mr. Phunsukh Wangdu.
范素科·班都? 谁啊 Phunsukh Bangdu? Who's that?
不是班都 是旺都 范素科·旺都 Not Bangdu. Wangdu. 'w'. Phunsukh Wangdu.
你知道他是谁吗 他是个伟大的科学家 Do you know who that is? He's a great scientist.
400项专利 谁都想得到他 400 patents. The world wants him.
花了我一年的时间才能跟他见面 Took me a year to get an appointment.
只要他跟我的公司签合同 我就发达了 Once he signs the deal with my company, I'll be huge!
别想旺都了 你怎么找到兰柯地址的 Forget Wangdu. How'd you get Rancho's address?
这得感谢范素科·旺都 You should be thanking Phunsukh Wangdu.
他告诉我的 看 He led me to Rancho, see this.
我秘书到这里跟旺都预约 My secretary was here to fix an appointment with Wangdu.
她没预约到 但是我找到了兰柯 She didn't get the appointment. But I found Rancho.
我查了西姆拉的电话簿 发现了兰柯的名字 I checked the Shimla directory and found Rancho's name.
他的脸怎么了 What happened to his face?
难道是易容术 以表示与你见面的荣幸? Plastic surgery in honor of your visit?
只有一个人知道真相 Only one man has the answer.
对不起 爸爸 我无法满足你最后的心愿 Sorry Papa, I couidn't fulfill your last wish.
你一直让我带你去朝圣 You kept asking me to take you on pilgrimage.
我却等着公路的投标 But I waited for the highway tender.
现在投标好了 你却闭眼了 There the tender opened, here you closed your eyes.
真对不起 爸爸 我是个不孝之子 I am so sorry, papa. I could not be a good son.
不对 Wrong.
你是工程师 你的学位在墙上呢 You're an engineer. Your degree's on the wall!
你是个很孝顺的儿子 You were a very good son.
你怎么敢闯进来 我要报警抓你们 How dare you barge in? I'll have you arrested.
不 你会被抓起来的 我们查过了 No, you'll be arrested. We've made enquiries.
你靠学位来签订合约 You use the degree to clinch contracts.
那是我朋友的学位 你怎么弄来的 It's our friend's degree. How did you get it?
这是150英亩的土地 This is a 150 acre estate.
就算我毙了你 埋掉 也不会有人知道的 If I shoot and bury you, no one would even notice.
明白了吗 Get the point?
给我滚出去 Now get lost.
我正要带着父亲的骨灰去圣河 I'm taking papa's ashes to the sacred river.
也可以带上你们的 Can take yours too.
快抢他爹 Grab papa!
这儿 这儿 Here, here.
放了我爸爸 Let go of papa!
说实话 要不就把你爸爸冲走 Tell the truth or papa is flushed!
-还我爸爸 -爸爸要去圣下水道了 - Hand over papa. - Papa goes to the sacred sewer.
把我爸从马桶上挪开 Get papa out of the potty.
你开枪 我就冲了他 You pull trigger, I pull flush.
数到3 I'll count to three
想杀我们? 拉贾 把骨灰撒进去 Wanna shoot us? Raju, scatter the ashes
1 One.
要抓我们 爸爸就进排水管了 Take us down, and papa's down the drain
2 Two.
让他在下水管中畅游吧 Then grope for him in the gutter.
怎么了 拉贾 What is it, Raju?
我们拿错壶了 这是空的 We've got the wrong urn. It's empty!
空的? Empty?
-空的 -我们把它倒掉 - Empty. - We'll empty it out!
不 不 No, no!
我们倒了啊 We'll empty it out.
不 我投降 No. Hands up!
你是谁 Who are you?
我是兰柯 I am Rancho.
以我爸爸的名义发誓 这是真的 I swear on papa, it's true.
我是兰柯 他是彻侯特 I am Rancho! That was Chhote.
彻侯特? Chhote?
他是我家花匠的儿子 彻侯特 He was our gardener's son, Chhote.
他父母去世后 跟我们住一起 He stayed on with us after he was orphaned.
在周围打些零工 跑跑腿 Did odd jobs around the house, ran errands.
他对学习充满热情 He had a passion for learning.
穿着我的旧校服 溜进学校 He'd wear my old uniform and slip into school.
听他喜欢的课程 这正合我意 And attend any class he liked. It suited me.
我让他帮我做作业 帮我考试 I made him do my homework, take my exams.
一切都很顺利 直到有一天 It was going well, till one day.
老师看到一个六年级的学生做高一的数学题 Our teacher saw a sixth grader doing tenth grade math.
你几年级 孩子 Which grade are you in, son?
你叫什么 What's your name?
我们被抓了 We got caught.
我爸爸很有权势 所以... Papa was a powerful man, so...
在去见校长之前 我们老师提醒他 Our teacher alerted him before going to the principal.
既然你选择了 就要有始有终 You started it, you will finish it.
人们表面很尊敬我 People pretend to show me respect.
但是在背后 But behind my back...
丫们却嘲笑我是文盲 mock me as an illiterate.
我不会让此事发生在我儿子身上 I won't let that happen to my son.
这个孩子想学习 而我只想要个学历 This boy wants to study. I want just a degree.
就将错就错吧 Let the game go on.
让这孩子做个工程师 Make this kid an engineer.
而我将会在墙上挂着我儿子的学历证书 And I'll have a degree in my son's name on that wall.
我去伦敦待了4年 他则替我上大学 I went to London for four years, he went to college as me.
他答应获得学位后断绝一切联系 He'd promised to cut contact with all after getting the degree.
但是他总说 有两个白痴会来找我 But he always said, 'two idiots will come looking for me'.
他真的很想你们俩 He really misses you both.
我给你们他的地址 去找他吧 I'll give you his address, go to him.
请帮我保守秘密 But please keep my secret.
什么秘密 What secret?
你拿错罐子了 先生 爸爸在这儿呢 You got the wrong urn, sir. Papa is in here.
到底怎么回事 那个拿枪的家伙是谁 What the hell's going on? Who was that gun guy?
故事复杂 又没字幕 不适合你 Complicated story. Without subtitles. Not for you.
-别想了 -我们去哪儿 - Ignore it. - Where're we going?
拉达克 Ladakh.
拉达克? 为什么 Ladakh! Why?
去见兰柯 To meet Rancho.
他在拉达克做什么 What's he doing in Ladakh?
不知道 我们有个学校地址 No clue. We have the address of a school.
学校老师 School teacher!
我是罗克利奇公司的副总裁 而他... I'm vice president of Rockledge Corporation, and he...
苹果的果 气球的球... [讽刺兰柯教书育人] A for apple, b for Ball...
蠢驴的驴 D for donkey.
下周我要和范素科·旺都签一个大合同 Next week I sign a huge deal with Phunsukh Wangdu
而他...苹果的果 气球的球... And he...A for apple, B for Ball...
我对那个傻瓜的敬意从今天起急速提升 Today my respect for that idiot shot up.
大多数人上大学只想得个学位 Most of us went to college just for a degree.
没学位就没称心的工作 没有娇妻 No degree meant no plum job, no pretty wife...
没有信用卡 没有社会地位 No credit card, no social status.
这些对他都不重要 None of this mattered to him.
他在大学享受学习的乐趣 He was in college for the joy of learning.
从不关心是第一名还是最后一名 He never cared if he was first or last.
谁是登月的第一人 Who was the first man on the moon?
是尼尔·阿姆斯特朗 校长 Neil Armstrong, sir.
显然 是尼尔·阿姆斯特朗 我们都知道 Obviously, it is Neil Armstrong. We all know it.
谁是第二个呢 Who was the second?
不要浪费时间 这并不重要 Don't waste your time. It's not important.
没有人会记得第二名 Nobody remembers the man who ever came second.
不久 将会有26家公司前来招聘 Soon, 26 companies will be here with job offers.
你们在期末考试前甚至就可以找到工作 You'll have a job even before your final exam,
这也是最后一搏 朋友们 this is your last lap, my friends.
踩住油门 全速前进 Put the pedal to the metal. Step on the gas.
整装待发 创造历史 Go out there and make history!
有疑问吗 Any questions?
请讲 Yes?
校长 假如有个学生找到了工作... Sir, suppose a student gets a job...
但是期末考试不及格 But narrowly fails the final exam,
他还能得到这份工作吗 will he still have the job?
问得好 Very good question.
谁有跟他相同的疑问吗 Anyone else with the same question?
不出所料 As expected.
请到台上来 给他们点鼓励 Please come on stage. Give them a big hand.
过去的4年里 For the last four years,
他们是成绩最稳定的同学 they've been our most consistent students.
每次考试都很稳定地排在最后 Consistently last in every exam.
来 天才们 来 Come my geniuses, come.
他们的脑袋会值很多钱 Their brains will fetch a handsome price.
因为它们完全没被用过 'cause they're completely unused.
下面回答他们的问题 And to answer their question.
成绩不会影响工作 The exam won't affect their jobs.
因为根本不会有公司雇佣他们 Because no company will hire them anyway!
他们太特别了 他们的名字将用金字镌刻 They're so unique, their names will be writen in gold.
"法哈尼楚特"和"柏饶拉朱利" 'farhanitrate' and 'prerajulization'
请大家鼓励鼓励他们 Give them a big hand, please, everybody.
他羞辱我们 He screwed us!
当着所有人的面 In front of everyone.
神灵啊 我愿从此食素 并点1000根香烛 God, I'll give up meat, light a 1000 incense sticks.
就请帮我一个忙 Do me just one favor.
灭了病毒那个老不死的 Delete virus!
把他烧死在地狱里 Burn him in hell.
在沸油中炸了他 Fry virus-nuggets in bubbling oil.
你觉得神是签了合约的杀手吗 You think God is a contract killer?
你闭嘴 You shut up.
你每年都在照片的中间 You're in the center of the photo every year.
我们就烂在角落 We're rotting in the corner.
今年我们也许就不会出现在照片上了 This year we may fall out of the photo altogether.
-知道我为什么第一吗 -为什么 - Know why I come first? - Why?
因为我喜欢机器 Because I love machines.
我对机器有热情 Engineering is my passion.
知道你的热情是什么吗 Know your passion?
-那是我的包 -闭嘴 - That's my bag. - Be quiet.
你到底想干什么 What're you up to?
这...是你的热情 This...is your passion.
去寄这封信 Go post this letter.
什么信 What letter?
五年前他写给最喜爱的 5 years ago he wrote this for his favorite
野外摄影师的信 wildlife photographer.
-安德烈 -伊斯塔万 - Andre. - Istvan.
特别想认识远在匈牙利的他 He wanted to train with him in Hungary.
但是因为怕他爸 那个希特勒 他从没寄出去 But in fear of his Dad, the fuhrer, never posted it.
放弃工程学 投身摄影 Quit engineering, marry photography,
发挥自己的才能 follow your talent.
如果MJ的爸爸强迫他做拳击手 If Michael Jackson's Dad forced him to be a boxer...
拳王阿里的爸爸逼他做歌手 And Mohammad Ali's Dad pushed him to be a singer...
想想有多可怕 Imagine the disaster.
你明白了吗 Do you get it?
白痴 喜欢摄影 却屈身于机器 Idiot! Loves photography, but is marrying machines.
我尊敬的精神领袖兰柯霍达斯 Your holiness guru Ranchhoddas.
工程学就是我的妻子和情人 Engineering is my wife and mistress both.
但是我还是失败了 为什么 请解释 But I still fail. Why? Expiain.
因为你是个懦夫 惧怕未来 'cause you're a coward, scared of the future.
看这个 圣环比手指还多 Look at this. More holy rings than fingers.
一个恐惧一个环 考试 姐姐的嫁妆 工作 One ring per fear - exam, sis's dowry, job.
带着这些对明天的恐惧 怎么活过今天 With such fear of tomorrow, how'll you live today?
怎么能专注地学习 How'll you focus on studies?
怪兄弟 一个活在恐惧中 一个活在伪装中 Strange buddies! One lives in fear, the other in pretense.
这两个你都有 既恐惧又伪装 You live in both - fear and pretense.
害怕告诉琵雅 你爱她 You're scared to tell Pia you love her...
所以假装不爱 so you pretend you don't.
我擦 坑爹呢 What rubbish!
讲道理简单 做起来就难了 Easy to offer free advice, tough to foliow it.
有种吗 去向琵雅表白 Have the guts? Go confess to Pia.
-根本不是一回事 -就是一回事 我的主啊 - There's no connection! - Deep connection, your holiness.
听着 如果你敢表白 Listen, if you confess to Pia,
我就告诉我老爸 不学工程 改嫁摄影 I'll tell Dad - no engineering, I'm marrying photography.
那我就在招聘前 丢掉我的圣环 And I'll dump my rings before the job interview
干不干 Deal?
有种吗 Have the guts?
精神领袖无话可说了 His holiness is speechless.
走 Let's go.
-跟我来 -去哪儿 - Follow me. - Where?
走 Let's go.
病毒 我是抗病毒啊 Virus! I'm anti-virus
希望这儿没有狗 Hope no dog here.
懦夫 走啊 Cowards! Let's go.
如果有危险 我会给出病毒警报的 If any danger, I'll give the virus alert.
小心 病毒在里面 Beware - virus inside.
要背景音吗 Need background score?
-琵雅 -谁啊 - Pia. - Who's it?
别喊 是我 兰柯 Don't yell! It's me, Rancho.
就一会儿 我说完就走 Just listen for a moment, then I'm gone.
什么也不用说... Say not a word...
-琵雅 -什么 - Pia. - Yes?
和你骑摩托的那22分钟 Those 22 minutes with you on the scooter
是我一生中最开心的22分钟 were the most enchanting 22 minutes of my life.
我愿意和你在摩托上共度一生 I could spend an eternity with you on the scooter.
...让时间静止 ...and time stands still.
每晚你都会出现在我的梦中 Every night you ride into my dreams
骑着摩托而来 装扮得宛如新娘 on your scooter, dressed as a bride.
取下的不是面纱 却是头盔 Instead of a veil, you lift your helmet.
信步走来 和我相吻 And come close to kiss me.
不过 却没有吻成功 But that kiss doesn't happen.
为什么 Why?
因为鼻子撞了到一起 然后我就醒了 Because the noses collide, and I wake up.
鼻子怎么可能撞到一起 傻瓜 The noses never collide, stupid!
抱歉 我以为你是琵雅 I'm sorry, I thought you were Pia.
希望我是 I wish I was.
姐姐 你为什么打断他 Sis, why did you interrupt?
他花了4年才说出这些的 It took him four years to say this.
琵雅 吻他 告诉他鼻子碰不到一起 Pia, kiss him. Show that noses don't collide.
我批准了 吻他 太可爱了 You have my permission, kiss him. He's so cute!
-这是谁 -我姐姐 - Who's this? - My sister.
你是谁 Who're you?
你说话的时候 他踢腿来着 是第一次 When you were talking, he kicked. First time!
他? 你怎么知道是"他"还是"她" He? How do you know it's a 'he' or 'she'?
爸爸问过占星师 Papa asked the astrologer
我是生个工程师还是医生 if we'd get an engineer or a doctor.
什么意思 Meaning?
男孩是工程师 女孩是医生 Boy becomes an engineer, girl a doctor.
冠军 最好待在里面 外面有个马戏团 Champ, better stay inside. Out here's a circus.
你外公是团长 他会挥舞长鞭 Your grandpa is the ringmaster. He'll crack his whip
"跑 生活就是赛跑 做个工程师" 'Run! Life is a race. Be an engineer'
但你得跟着自己的想法走 如果外公吓唬你 But you follow your heart. If grandpa scares you...
把手放在胸口 说"平安无事" Put your hand on your heart and say, 'all is well'.
他又踢了 He kicked.
再说一遍 Say it again.
平安无事 All is well.
又踢了 Kicked again.
-再来 -平安无事 - Once more. - All is well.
平安无事 All is well.
是谁 Who is it?
快走 Go.
你给我爸寄了封讨厌的信 You sent hate-mail to Dad,
我回你封尿信 here's pee-mail for you.
好好享受尿信吧 祝你阅读愉快 Enjoy the pee-mail, happy reading!
-谁啊 -你的未来女婿 - Who is it? - Your future son-in-law.
婚礼聚会上的 And the wedding party.
库瑞什 Rastogi!
保安 那边 Security, that way.
这么说你们都学会了简单钟摆 So you all have already learned about the simple pendulum.
现在我们开始 Now let's get down to the advanced
进一步学习复摆 study about compound pendulum.
不规则物体围绕自己的轴震荡 It's an irregular object osciliating about its own axis.
我来演示给你们看 Let me demonstrate to you.
-这是什么 -铅笔 - What's this? - Pencil.
-里面是什么 -铅芯 - What's inside? - Lead.
很好 铅芯是铅笔的轴 Good. Lead is the axis to this pencil.
就算你是个复摆 如果你震荡... Even you can be a compound penduium, if you osciliate about...
-拉贾·瑞丝奇在哪儿 -到 校长 - Where is Raju Rastogi? - Present, sir.
大家都到了啊 Everybody is here.
早上好 校长 Good morning, sir.
你昨天晚上在哪儿 Where were you last night?
-学习了一晚 校长 -学习? - Studying all night, sir - Studying?
真的吗 Really?
两晚没睡觉 所以他看起来蓬头垢面的 Hasn't slept two nights, that's why he looks scruffy.
没睡觉? Not slept?
你学什么了 What did you study?
感应电动机 校长 所有章节 Induction motor, sir. The whole chapter.
所有章节? Whole chapter?
既然这样 拉贾·瑞丝奇先生 In that case, Mr. Raju Rastogi...
到 校长 Yes, sir!
你能告诉我们感应电动机如何启动吗 Can you tell us how an induction motor starts?
关掉它 Stop it.
校长 是朗姆酒 Sir, rum.
瑞丝奇先生 Mr. Rastogi.
我们去办公室喝杯茶吧 Let's have a cup of tea in my office.
校长? Sir?
把门关上 Close the door.
会打字吗 Can you type?
会 Yes, sir.
可以帮我打封信吗 Will you type a letter for me?
没问题 校长 Definitely, sir.
来这边坐 Come, sit.
校长 对不起... Sir, I'm sorry sir...
开始吧 Please type.
尊敬的先生... Dear sir...
我很遗憾地通知您... It is my painful duty to inform you...
您的儿子已被勒令退学 that your son is rusticated...
不 错了 删了 重新来 No, sorry, delete that. Go back.
您的儿子 拉贾·瑞丝奇... Your son, Mr. Raju Rastogi...
已被皇家工程学院勒令退学 is rusticated from the Imperial College of Engineering.
快打啊 Come on, type.
校长 这会要了我爸的命 It'll kill my Dad, sir.
-快啊 -校长 请别这样 - Please type. - Sir, please sir.
这是最终决定 不予更改 My decision is final and irrevocable.
他为了看我成为工程师 才活到现在 He lives just to see me become an engineer.
你在门口撒尿时 就该想到这点 Should've thought of that before peeing on my door.
校长 求求您了 再给我一次机会吧 Sir, give me one chance...please.
可以 把你名字删了 Ok, remove your name from the letter...
换成兰柯 and put in Rancho's.
我知道他昨天和你待一起 I know he was with you last night.
作我的证人 我就放过你 Be my witness and I'll spare you.
给你7分钟的思考时间 You have 7 minutes to think.
我们不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
我们还要继续生活 We're not done yet...no way
或许天堂正在呼唤你 The heavens may beckon you
但我们会举起臂膀与上帝对抗 But we'll take up arms against God
这场战斗我们绝对不能输 And it's not a fight we intend to lose
或许你在尽力逃避 You may try your best to escape
用尽你所有的力气 Try with all your might
但我们绝不会让你离去 But there is no way we are letting go of you
不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
我们还要继续生活 We're not done yet...no way
兰柯 看那监视器 Rancho, watch that monitor.
拉贾? Raju?
虽然他的身体瘫痪了 但仍然有意识 His body is paralyzed with shock, but his mind is alert.
他能够看见听见我们 所以请别在他面前哭 He can see and hear us. Please don't cry in front of him.
和平常一样跟他说话 鼓励他 开点玩笑 Speak to him normally, motivate him, joke around, push him.
好消息 拉贾 你爸爸康复了 Good news, Raju. Your Dad's recovered.
新药起的作用 The new medicine worked.
一个人没事了 另个就倒下 Is this your family tradition
这难道这是你们家的传统吗 as one male gets up, the other conks out?
快醒来 Come, wake up.
你爸爸想要琵雅的摩托车 Your Dad wants Pia's scooter.
我该让他骑吗 希望他不要弄坏了 Should I give it to him? Hope he won't dent it.
拉贾 法尔汉想和你视频 他在寝室里 Raju, Farhan is live on webcam. From the hostel.
快看 病毒把你的退学通知撤销了 Look, Virus has canceled your suspension order.
问题已经解决了 快醒来吧 Problem solved...wake up now.
都解决了 你听到了吗 Everything's resolved! you hear that?
哥们 快起来 动起来 Rise and shine, buddy
在这短暂的旅途中 In this journey of few strides
我们称之为生活 On the path called life
不要轻言放弃 只需为旅途欢庆 Don't quit...just celebrate the ride
倾听那些爱你的人们 Listen please to those who love you
每个昏暗的夜晚后 都将迎来阳光万里 Every dark night is followed by sunrise
请别拒绝那些爱你的人们 Don't shut out those who love you
我们不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
我们还要继续生活 We're not done yet...no way
我们不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
我们还要继续生活 We're not done yet...no way
-快看 妈妈买了件新的纱丽 -崭新的 - Look, Mom bought a new saree. - Brand new.
花了2000块呢 It cost 2000.
快醒来 Wake up now.
她不止买了一套 是十套 She bought not one, but ten sarees.
快看啊 Look!
醒醒 拉贾 Hey Raju!
快告诉我 这样好看吗 C'mon tell me...how do I look?
想起妈妈曾经写的那些信 Remember the letters Mom would write...
总是保佑你能一生平安 Always blessed you with eternal life
请别伤她的心 请别离开她 Don't die on her...you can't die
看着我们 别转过身去 Look at us now, don't turn away
笑一次来说明你还在乎我们 Smile once to show you care
醒过来 别再让我们痛苦 Wake up, don't torment us anymore
你听说你姐的消息了吗 Did you hear about your sis?
她要结婚了 She's getting married
什么嫁妆都不需要 without any dowry.
新郎什么都不要 The bridegroom wants nothing at all.
他只想要娶甘默 He just wants Kammo.
你知道新郎是谁吗 You know who the bridegroom is?
快猜 Guess!
跟你很熟的 You know him very well.
他很喜欢动物 He loves animals.
他要去当一名野生动物摄影师 He's going to be a wiidlife photographer.
轻点...嘘 Quiet...shhhh...
还没猜到吗 是法尔汉啊 Didn't get it? It's our Farhan.
法尔汉什么嫁妆都不要的 Farhan will never take any dowry.
法尔汉要和你姐姐结婚了 Farhan will marry your sister.
什么都不要 免费的 免费的 For free! Free! Free!
拉贾 Raju!
2斤秋葵 1斤免费奶酪 就能叫醒他 One kilo okra, 500 grams cheese for 'free' would've woken him.
为什么要牺牲我... Why sacrifice me... !
太棒了 哥们 Well done, buddy.
一切都敲定了 法尔汉要和你姐结婚了 So it's all fixed, Farhan will marry your sister.
兰柯 Rancho
笨蛋 你坑爹呢 Rascals...stop fibbing.
恭喜你逃掉了 Lucky escape!
我们不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
我们还要继续生活 We're not done yet...no way
我们不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
我们还要继续生活 We're not done yet...no way
我们不会抛下你 We won't let go of you
秋葵每公斤12块 Okra rs.12 kilo
你叫了计程车? You called for a taxi?
-叫了 -车在外面等了 - I did. - It's waiting.
谢谢 怎么了 Thank you. Why?
我一会儿有个面试 I'm going to the job interview.
你跟我们一起吗 You coming with me?
不 我去参加面试 你回家 No. I'm going for the interview. You're going home.
为什么我要回家 Why would I go home?
我们答应过这笨蛋的 Remember, we promised this rascal.
把你的领带给我 Give me your tie.
为什么 Why?
因为你看完这个 就不想去面试了 I doubt you'll go for the interview after reading this.
什么东西 What's that?
-一封信 -匈牙利寄来的 - A letter. - For you, from Hungary.
一位名叫安德烈·伊斯塔万的摄影师 Some photographer called Andre Istvan.
你把我的信寄出去了 You posted my letter!
他很喜欢你的作品 He loved your pictures.
他想让你做他的助手 The guy wants you to assist him...
去巴西热带雨林待一年 In the Brazilian Rainforest, for a year.
还有工资 Will pay you, too.
我爸绝不会同意的 Dad will never agree.
去和他谈谈 真心的 Go speak to him...from your heart.
就一次 不要怕 For once, dump your fears...
不然某天你挂了 你会后悔的 Or someday, on your deathbed, you'll regret it.
你会记得手里拿着信 You'll remember that the letter was
计程车在外面 in your hand, taxi at the gate...
只需一点点勇气 就能改变命运 With just a little courage, you could've turned your life around.
你觉得他会喜欢吗 Do you think he'll like it?
为什么买这么贵的礼物 Why such an expensive gift?
我们的儿子 今天就要有第一份工作了 Our son's getting his first job today.
在这么值得骄傲的时刻 就不能太小气 Don't be stingy at such a proud moment.
法尔汉? Farhan?
你今天不是有面试吗 Don't you have the job interview today?
我没去 I didn't go.
爸 我不想当工程师 I don't want to be an engineer, Dad.
怎么了 发生什么事了 What happened? You had an accident?
看到那楼吗 我从三楼跳下来了 See that building? I jumped from its third floor.
为什么 Why?
因为我被学校勒令退学了 Because I was rusticated from college.
为什么 Why?
酗酒 还在校长家门口撒尿 Drunk, I urinated on the director's door.
那个该死的兰柯正在腐蚀你的脑子 That scoundrel Rancho is messing with your mind!
我不喜欢工程学 会是个差劲的工程师 I don't enjoy engineering. I'd make a terrible engineer.
兰柯的想法很简单 选自己喜欢的 Rancho has a simple belief, make your passion your profession.
这样工作才会开心 Then work wiil become play.
你在那个丛林里能赚什么钱 What'll you earn in that jungle?
钱虽然很少 但能学到很多 A small stipend, but I'll learn a lot.
5年以后 Five years from now...
当你看到你的朋友们买车 When you see your friends buying cars
买房 你就会后悔的 and homes, you'll curse yourself.
工程师的生活 只会让我更加沮丧 Life as an engineer will bring only frustration.
那时我会抱怨您的 Then I'll curse you.
我宁愿让自己后悔 I'd rather curse myself, Dad.
全世界都会嘲笑你 The world will laugh!
在最后一年放弃 你个没用的东西 Label you a loser, for quitting in the final year.
卡普尔先生觉得你在ICE念书是多值幸运的事 Mr. Kapoor feels you're fortunate to be at ICE.
他会怎么想 What'll he think?
卡普尔先生又没有给我买空调 Mr. Kapoor didn't provide me with an air-conditioner.
我睡得香时 卡普尔又不会睡得不舒服 It wasn't Mr. Kapoor who slept in discomfort while I slept well.
又不是他 让我骑在肩膀上 带我逛动物园 He didn't take me around the zoo on his shoulders.
一切都是您做的 爸爸 You did all that, Dad.
我只在乎您怎么想 他对我一点都不重要 How you feel, matters to me. Mr. Kapoor makes no difference.
我甚至不知道他叫什么 I don't even know his first name.
你当你是情景剧里的英雄吗 You think you're the hero of a melodrama?
够了 求你了 他已经很难过了 Enough, please...he's upset.
老天 请别让他再做像拉贾那样的傻事 God forbid, if he did something crazy like Raju...
那就没什么好说的了 Then the discussion is over.
什么都别说了 免得他也跳楼 Don't say a word or his lordship will jump off the roof.
不 爸爸 我绝不会去自杀 我保证 No, Dad. I'll never attempt suicide. I promise.
您讨厌的兰柯把这照片放在我钱包里 The Rancho you detest put this picture in my wallet,
告诉我 每当我有自杀念头的时候就看看 told me to see it if a suicidal thought crossed my mind.
并想象当您看见我的尸体时 And imagine what'd happen to your smiles
您的笑脸会变成什么样子 when you see my dead body.
爸爸 我想说服您 I want to convince you, Dad.
但不是以自杀作为威胁 But not with a suicide threat.
爸爸 如果我变成一个摄影师会怎样 Dad, what'll happen if I become a photographer?
我会赚得很少 I'll earn less.
可能房子很小 车子也很小 I'll have a smailer house, a smailer car.
但我会很快乐的 But I'll be happy.
我会打心底里开心的 I will be really happy.
我为您做的任何事情都是真心的 Whatever I do for you will be out of genuine love.
我以前一直听您的话 I've always listened to you.
就这一次 请遂了我的心愿吧 For once, let me listen to my heart.
求您了...爸爸 Please...Dad.
爸爸 Dad...
求求您别走 Please don't go away...
把这个退了吧 Return this.
儿子 一台专业的照相机要多少钱 Son, what's the cost of a professional camera?
这台笔记本够换一架吗 Can the laptop be exchanged for it?
如果你缺钱 只管开口 If you need more money, just ask.
去过你想要的生活吧 我的孩子 Go live your life, my son.
你的成绩一直不好 是因为什么 Your grades are consistently poor. Reason?
恐惧 Fear.
我从小就是个好学生 I was a good student since childhood.
父母希望我能够让他们致富 Parents hoped I'd end their poverty.
这让我恐惧 That scared me.
就像比赛 如果不是第一 那什么都不是 Here I saw the mad race. You don't count if you're not first.
这让我愈加地恐惧 My fear grew.
恐惧对成绩没有好处 先生 Fear is not good for grades, sir.
于是我带上更多的护符和戒指 I slipped on more charms and rings.
祈祷神的帮助 不 是祈求 Prayed to god for favors. No...begged for favors.
断了16根骨头 我却有了2个月时间去反思 16 broken bones gave me two months to think and reflect.
最终 我醒悟了 Finaliy, sense dawned.
今天 我并不祈求这个工作 Today I didn't beg god for this job,
只是感谢老天给我的生命 just thanked him for this life.
如果你们拒绝我 我不会遗憾 If you reject me, no regrets.
我会继续去完成生命中有意义的事 I'll still do something worthwhile with my life.
这样的坦白对我们公司来说 并不是太好 Such frank behavior is not good for our firm.
我们需要的是 擅长与客户打交道的人 We need someone diplomatic to handle clients.
你太直接了 You're too straightforward.
但是 But...
如果你能向我们保证 你会控制好态度 If you assure us you'll control this attitude,
或许可以考虑一下 we may consider you.
断了两条腿才让我真正独立 It took two broken legs to get me up on my feet.
好不容易有这种态度 Wasn't easy to get this attitude.
改变不了了 先生 Can't change it, sir.
你保留你的职位 我保留我的态度 You keep your job...I'll keep my attitude.
对不起 请别见怪 I'm sorry, no offense, sir.
等一下 Wait.
25年来 我面试了无数多的人 I've interviewed countiess candidates for 25 years.
每个人为了得到工作 都扮演成好好先生 Everyone turns into a yes-man to get the job.
你是从哪儿冒出来的 孩子 Where did you spring from, son?
先生? Sir?
我们要谈谈工资吗 Shall we discuss the salary?
太谢谢了 Thank you, sir.
我敬爱的陛下 您崇高伟大 Your majesty, thou art great.
请接受这谦卑的问候 Accept this humble offering.
戈尔文 Govind!
您说的 "如果他找到工作 就刮我胡子" You had said, 'if he gets a job, shave it off.'
你做什么了 What have you done?
我感觉没了胡子 就像没穿衣服 I feel naked without my moustache.
我没尊严了 I've lost my dignity.
我不会善罢甘休的 瑞丝奇 I won't accept defeat, Rastogi.
你过不了期末考试 就得不到工作 The job isn't yours until you pass your final exam.
这次由我来出卷子 And this time, I will set the question paper.
爸爸 那不公平 Dad, that's not fair.
爱情和战争中所有事都是公平的 Everything is fair in love and war.
这将是第三次...世界大战 And this is world war...III
瑞丝奇 你死定了 Rastogi, you're dead meat!
你怎么来了 What're you doing here?
小心点 Be careful.
-你喝酒了 -就喝了一点 - You've been drinking. - Yup, had to down a couple.
喝得也太多了 A couple too many!
-需要一点胆量 -干什么 - Needed the guts. - For what?
-为了偷这个 -这是什么 - For stealing this. - What's this?
病毒办公室的备用钥匙 The duplicate key to Virus's office.
试卷被封在一个红色封皮的袋子里 The question paper's in a cover with a red seal.
爸爸出的题目 为了让拉贾挂科 Dad has set it, to fall Raju.
快去拿 Go get it!
你疯了还是怎么了 那是作弊啊 Are you mad or what...that's cheating!
爱情和战争中所有事都是公平的 Everything's fair in love and war.
告诉我 Tell me something...
你真的认为 Do you really feel...
接吻的时候鼻子会碰一起吗 The noses coilide while kissing?
来 吃点德卡拉 [鹰嘴豆蒸糕] Wait. Have some Dhokla.
你们古加拉提人也太可爱了 You Gujaratis are so cute.
但为什么你们的食物听起来这么吓人 But why does your food sound so dangerous?
德卡拉 发达 汉瓦 色普拉 卡卡拉 Dhokla, Fafda, Handwa, Thepla, Khakhra
听起来像导弹 Sound like missiles
来吧 C'mon
"今天布什向伊拉克投了2颗德卡拉" 'Today Bush dropped two Dhoklas on Iraq'
"造成400人死亡 200人受伤" '400 dead, 200 injured'
来吧 C'mon
我能接受卡卡拉 发达 但你的名字... I can deal with Khakhra, Fafda. But your name...
兰柯霍达斯·沙玛达斯·昌恰德 'Ranchhoddas Shamaldas Chanchad'
结婚后我才不愿意把我的姓换了 I won't change my last name after marriage.
琵雅 我们不能结婚 Pia, we can't get married
为什么 Why?
你还喜欢其他人吗 Is there someone else?
没有 No.
-你是同性恋? -不是啦 - Are you gay? - No.
那你为什么不向我求婚 Then why don't you propose to me?
-难道你阳痿 -不是 - Are you impotent? - No.
那就证明给我看 Then prove it.
琵雅 别 Pia, no.
停 住手 Stop, stop!
-怎么了 -我们还没告诉琵雅呢 - What happened? - We didn't inform Pia.
在这儿停下 我憋死了 Stop here, my bladders are bursting.
-闭嘴 -你还和她有联系吗 - Shut up! - Are you in touch with her?
没有...我有她家的电话 在这儿停 No...I have her home number then call her, I'll stop.
这国家连撒尿的地方都没有 No place for urine expulsion in this country.
-你好 请问琵雅在吗 -不在 - Hello, is Pia there? - No, she's not.
那她在医院吗 Is she at the hospital?
为什么她要在那儿 Why would she be there?
她今天结婚 在马纳里 She's getting married today, in Manali.
太迟了 她结婚了 Too late! She's married.
还没有 开车过去就6小时 Not yet. It's a six hour drive.
抓紧的话 我们能在宣誓前赶到 If we rush, we'll reach before the vows.
你觉得呢 What do you say?
还想什么 我们折回去 It's a no-brainer. Let's turn back
不许回去 No turning back.
直接去拉达克 等我们见了兰柯后再回头 Straight to Ladakh. We'll meet Rancho and return.
周五我和范素科·旺都还有个会议 I have a Friday meeting with Phunsukh Wangdu.
上车 Get into the car.
如果我错过了会议 他就被日本鬼子抢了 If I miss my meeting, the Japanese will get him.
他们答应把他的名字加到公司名字中 They're offering him a first name in the company.
"范素科和藤良"公司 合资企业... 'Phunsukh and Fujiyoshi', profit sharing...
马纳里 255公里
琵雅和苏哈斯的婚礼
-琵雅和苏哈斯的婚礼 -这西装 谢了 - Pia weds suhas! - Thanks for the suit.
病毒会犯心脏病的 Virus will have a heart attack.
在她每个女儿的婚礼上 我们都来捣乱 At every daughter's wedding, we're there to rock the party.
我去说服琵雅 你把那个金钱鬼引开 Listen, I'll update Pia, you peel off the price tag.
-法尔汉 -我们找到兰柯了 - Farhan. - We found Rancho.
-给107房间的? -是的 先生 - For Room 107? - Yes, sir.
-你动作也太慢了 -抱歉 先生 - You've taken ages. - Sorry, sir.
你走吧 Off, now.
-客房服务 先生 -进来吧 - Housekeeping, sir. - Come in.
爱啊 爱啊 Amore...amore...
快把我外套熨了 Quick, iron my coat.
爱啊 爱啊 Amore...amore...
找到兰柯了 你不用嫁给这混蛋了 We found Rancho! Now you can't marry this ass.
你疯了 法尔汉 You're mad, Farhan.
别骗自己了 琵雅 你还爱着兰柯 Don't fool yourself, Pia. You still love Rancho.
你还在吃他最喜欢的东西 You're still eating his favorite food.
爱啊 爱啊 Amore...amore...
他无可救药的 一日金钱鬼 终身金钱鬼 He's incorrigibie. Once a price tag, always a price tag.
别说了 法尔汉 苏哈斯已经变了 Shut up, Farhan. Suhas is a changed man.
他不再开口闭口品牌和价格了 He doesn't speak of brands and prices anymore.
我15万的外套啊 My 150,000 coat.
你们怎么这么爱吃薄荷酱 Why do you people eat sauce?
-我会搞定 先生 -怎么搞定 - I'll sort it out, sir - How?
我们干洗店专门清洗被薄荷色弄脏的衣服 Our laundry specializes in cleaning mint-stained suits.
我马上就去弄干净 I'll clean it in a jiffy.
快 Get it soon.
-太迟了 法尔汉 -琵雅 - But it's too late now, Farhan. - Pia.
到点了 琵雅 我们走吧 Let's go, Pia, we're late.
琵雅 是我 拉贾 别出声 否则他们会杀了我的 Pia, it's me...Raju. Don't yell, they'll kill me.
苏哈斯呢 Where is Suhas?
客房服务拿走了我的外套 Housekeeping took my coat.
去...把苏哈斯给我弄过来 Go...send Suhas here.
现在离开仪式 太没规矩了 It's rude to leave the ceremony.
-法尔汉? -车准备好了 - Yeah, Farhan? - The car's ready.
抓住她的手就跑 别动 Grab her hand and run. Don't move.
-先生... -我的外套呢 - Sir... - My coat?
你在这儿... You're here...
-那在圣坛的是谁啊 -圣坛? - So who's at the altar? - Altar?
再转几圈 我们就算结婚了 Another couple of rounds, and we'll be considered married.
我已经结过婚了 琵雅 我们走吧 I'm already married, Pia. Let's go.
太迟了 人们会笑话我的 It's too late. People will laugh at me.
那你就这么毁掉幸福? So you'll commit suicide?
瑞丝奇 Rastogi!
他们也就传言一段时间 马上就会忘的 People will gossip briefly, then forget.
但是你...你会后悔死的 But you...you'll regret on your deathbed.
车就在门口 马上就能和兰柯一起 That the car was at the gate, Rancho within reach...
就因为怕这些人 你就嫁给这混蛋 But in fear of people, you married this ass.
你不是内个客房服务吗 Housekeeping?
琵雅 还有个小问题 Pia, minor problem.
什么 What?
我们不知道兰柯是不是结婚了 We don't know if Rancho's married.
什么 What!
-他不会结婚的 -那如果结了呢 - He won't be married. - And if he is?
那我们再送你回来 Then we'll drop you back.
放轻松 手工饼干吃吗 Relax! Handmade biscuit?.
他怎么在这儿 What's he doing here?
别管他 这饼干很好吃的 Ignore him - the biscuit's very good.
到昨天为止 我都是个守法公民 Till yesterday, I was a law-abiding citizen.
但在过去的24小时 我迫降了一架飞机 But in the last 24 hours, I'd grounded an aircraft.
差点把某人的骨灰冲进下水道 Almost assigned Shamaldas's ashes to the sewers,
并让一个新娘从自己的婚礼上逃婚 and made a bride elope from her own wedding!
全因为兰柯 All for Rancho.
但他也一样 会为朋友做任何事 But he too would do anything for friends.
例如从病毒的办公室偷考卷 Like stealing the question paper...from the lion's den.
用红色封印的信封 Envelope with the red seal.
他担心如果拉贾没考过 又会寻短见 He feared that if Raju failed, there'd be another high jump.
我们是有操守的贼 只为拉贾偷试卷 We were principled thieves, stealing the paper only for Raju.
我们发誓自己不会偷看一眼 We'd sworn we won't even take a peek.
藏在哪儿了... Where's it hidden...
我们猴年马月能找到啊 问问琵雅吧 We'll grow old searching! Ask Pia.
琵雅 你电话 Pia, your phone.
准父亲大人 Mr. Papa-to-be,
如果你说"平安无事" 他就会踢一下 if you say 'all is well', he kicks.
他踢了 He kicked.
琵雅 你电话 Pia, your phone.
老爸办公室
找到了 兰柯 Found it! Rancho.
喂? Hello?
快 复印一份 Quick, photocopy this.
原来放在哪儿的 Where was it?
放回去 Put it back.
-安全到达 -你们去哪儿了 - We're safe! - Where were you?
-给 -是什么 - Here. - What's this?
小意思 A gift.
考卷 病毒自己出的题专门要挂你 Question paper. Virus set it himself, to fail you.
奇怪啊 哥们 Strange buddies!
开始告诉你要正直 First teach you to be upright,
接着又给你一条通向可耻的道 then offer a path to shame.
不行 No way.
如果我过了 也是自己努力的结果 If I pass, it'll be on my own steam.
如果没过 也没什么 If I don't, it's still ok.
他把我俩说服了 我们像家人一样紧紧相拥 He'd won us over! I felt like embracing him as a family...
但是接着我控制了下自己的感情 but then I controlled my emotions.
-该死的贼 -校长 求你了 校长 - Damn thief. - Sir, please, sir.
-骗子 -别这样 校长 - Rascai. - Sorry sir.
想要改变教育制度 Wanted to change the system,
在我家门口撒尿 you'll pee on my door.
校长 您这是干什么呢 Sir, what're you doing?
住手啊 校长 Sorry sir.
你们被开除了 You are rusticated!
如果你们明天早上不离开 我就叫警察了 If all of you aren't out by morning, I'll call the police.
我会叫警察的 I will call the police!
骗子 Rascais!
一群骗子 你们都是 Rascais, all of you.
他怎么会有我办公室的钥匙 How did he get my office key?
我给他的 爸爸 I gave him the key, Dad.
我希望我能把这把钥匙给我弟弟 I wish I'd given this key to my brother...
这样他今天就还活着 he'd be alive today.
别说了 琵雅 Stop it, Pia.
你以为你儿子是掉下火车死的吗 You think your son fell off a train and died?
闭嘴 琵雅 Shut up, Pia!
你决定让他做个工程师 You decided he'd be an engineer.
你到底有没有问过他想做什么 Did you ever ask him what he wanted to be?
你给了他那么大的压力 You put such a pressure on him...
他选择死亡来摆脱入学考试 that he chose death over the entrance exam.
我不明白... I don't understand...
爸 你回房间去吧 Dad, you go to your room.
琵雅 别这么做 Pia, don't do this.
他想学文学 当个作家 He wanted to study literature, be a writer.
但他仅有的作品就是这封遗书 But all he wrote was this suicide note.
把那个收起来吧 求你了 Put that away, please.
别再粉饰太平了 No more cover-ups!
哪怕一次... Just once...
你如果说 你不想就别学工程系 if you'd said - don't do engineering if you don't want to
就做你心里想做的 just do what your heart is in,
那么今天他就还活着 then he'd be alive today.
他不是自杀的 He didn't commit suicide.
你说得对 爸爸 You're right, Dad,
那不是自杀... it wasn't suicide...
是谋杀 It was murder.
市区很多道路完全被水湮没 Many city roads are completely submerged,
交通已经瘫痪 traffic has come to a standstill.
爸... Dad...
莫娜 你怎么啦 Mona?
快回去 小个子 你跟着我们干吗 Go back, Milimeter. Why're you following us?
干吗 路又不是你家的 Why? Your pop owns the road?
请帮帮忙 我们现在走投无路了 Please help, we are desperate here!
你不能派救护车过来吗 You can't send an ambulance?
从别家医院调一辆车来 Get it from another hospital.
整个城市都遭水灾了 我们无能为力啊 The entire city's flooded, sir. We're helpless.
莫娜 你还好吗 Mona, you ok?
兰柯 是琵雅 Rancho, Pia.
兰柯 你们没办法来医院了 Rancho, you can't reach here.
按我说的做 Do as I say.
羊水已经破了 The water bag has burst.
竟然通话结束 莫娜 Disconnected! Mona.
莫娜 Mona!
-打开灯 -放到哪儿 - Turn on the lights. - Where to?
桌上 乒乓球桌上 To the table, tennis table.
琵雅 我们到休息室了 Pia, we're in the common room.
拉贾 打开摄像头 Raju, turn on the web camera.
莫娜呢 让我看到她 Where's Mona? Show me.
稍等 Hold on.
这里 琵雅 Here, Pia.
姐姐 别怕 我在这儿呢 Mona, don't worry. I'm with you.
琵雅 我要死了 Pia, I'm dying!
兰柯 就算没有医院和医生 Rancho, even when there were no hospitals or docs
也可以接生 babies were delivered.
你们要一起把这个孩子生下来 You all will deliver this baby.
平安无事 All is well.
你们好大胆子 我要宰了你们 How dare you? I'll kill you.
爸 这事儿你别管了 Dad, stay out of this.
法尔汉 拿毛巾和剪刀 Farhan, get towels and scissors.
小个子 拿些布条和热水 Millimeter, get clothes clips and hot water.
兰柯 把莫娜盖起来 Rancho, cover Mona.
姐姐 试着使劲 Mona, try pushing.
尽全力使劲 Push with all your might.
别嚎了 我不行啊 Stop it! I can't do it.
兰柯 看看胎头着冠了吗 Rancho, check if there's crowning.
胎头着冠... Crowning...?
拿那个图来 Get that diagram.
看看孩子头露出来了没有 See if the head is coming out.
快看看 Check quickly.
快去 Go!
去 兰柯 去啊 Go, Rancho, go.
还没着冠 No crowning.
莫娜 快使劲 Mona, please push.
莫娜 Mona!
她精疲力竭了 琵雅 She's tired, Pia.
叫醒她 如果她不使劲问题就大了 Wake her! If she won't push, it's a big problem.
-他们需要个真空吸盘 -他们上哪儿找去啊 - They need a vacuum cup. - Where will they get one?
真空吸盘是什么 怎么用呢 What's a vacuum cup? How is it used?
我演示给你看 I'll show you.
如果母亲太累没劲儿了 If the mother's too fatigued to push,
就把这个吸盘放在孩子头上 a cup is placed on baby's head,
吸力把孩子头吸住 suction makes the cup stick to the head...
接着把宝宝拉出来 and the baby is pulled out.
-我能做一个出来 -怎么做 - I can make this - How?
-用吸尘器 -吸尘器? - With a vacuum cleaner - Vacuum cleaner?
对 Yes.
那个力道太大了 That pressure's too high.
-我能控制力道 -你有吸尘器吗 - I'll control it. - Do you have a vacuum cleaner?
有 在我办公室 Yes, in my office.
-法尔汉 赶紧去拿 -给你钥匙 - Farhan, rush and get it. - Here's the key.
莫娜 使劲啊 Mona, push
天哪 Oh my God.
发生什么事了 What happened?
-拉贾 发生什么事了 -停电了 - Raju, what happened? - The power's gone.
那还怎么用吸尘器啊 How'll the vacuum work now?
法尔汉 你去拿吸尘器 我来搞定电源 Farhan, you get the vacuum, I'll get the power.
怎么搞定 How?
小个子 把病毒弄出去 Millimeter, get virus out.
这是干什么啊 What nonsense is this!
不是这个病毒 我的那个换流器啊 Not this virus. My virus, the inverter.
-去拿 快点 -好的 - Get that, quick. - Ok.
拉贾 把宿舍人都叫醒 Raju, wake up the hostel.
去拿所有车里的电池 电线 真空仪 Get car batteries, wires, and a vacuum gauge.
休息室有紧急情况 Emergency in the common room!
-兰柯人呢 -在这儿呢 - Where's Rancho? - Here, sir.
把电池放这里 还有电线 Keep the batteries here...and the wires.
拉贾 关掉所有电源 Raju, switch off everything,
把换流器接到干线上 connect the inverter to the mains.
兰柯 吸尘器来了 Rancho, vacuum cleaner.
法尔汉 把你的镜头清洁器拿来 Farhan, get your lens cleaner.
-吹球? -对 拿来 - Blower? - Yeah, get it.
兰柯 吹球 Rancho, blower.
好 把这个装到计量器上 Good. Fix this to the gauge.
兰柯 我这里搞定了 Rancho, I'm done.
-全关了吗 -关了 - All switches off? - Yes.
把桌上的灯和电脑电源接通 Hit the table and computer switches.
好的 Ok.
拉贾 打开电脑 Raju, turn on the computer.
法尔汉 搬过来 Farhan, here.
琵雅 快过来 Pia, come here, quick.
爱死你了 兰柯 Love you, Rancho.
-法尔汉 打开它 -好 - Farhan, turn it on. - Ok.
琵雅 用多大吸力 Pia, how much suction?
不大于0.5 Not more than 0.5.
-法尔汉 0.5 -盖住它 - Farhan, 0.5. - Cover it.
0.5 0.5
吸尘器宝宝 太有才了你们 Vacuum cleaner baby! Mother of all deliveries.
法尔汉 可以了 Farhan, stop.
好的 Ok.
拉贾 到桌子上去 Raju, get on the table.
像这样往下推宝宝 Push the baby down, like this.
好 Ok.
法尔汉 打开吸尘器 Farhan, turn it on.
加油 你可以的 Come on, you can do it.
加油 使劲啊 Come on, push.
为了你的小冠军 Do it for Champ.
加油 莫娜 Come on, Mona.
他就要出来了 He's coming out!
你可以的 You can do it.
做得好 莫娜 使劲 Yes, Mona, push.
法尔汉 关了它 Farhan, turn it off.
好的 关掉了 Ok, off.
用两个夹子夹住 剪短脐带 Two clips, cut the umbilical cord.
法尔汉 在脐带上夹两个夹子 Farhan, two clips on the cord.
-拿剪刀 -小心点 - Get scissors. - Be careful.
从中间剪开 拿个毛巾来 Cut at the center, get a towel.
琵雅 孩子没有哭啊 Pia, he's not crying.
小冠军 Hey Champ!
兰柯 按摩他的背 Rancho, rub his back.
-小冠军 -加油啊 小冠军 - Hey Champ. - Come on, Champ.
没反应 No, nothing.
往他嘴里吹气 Blow air into his mouth.
加油啊 小冠军 Come on, Champ.
没反应 No response.
莫娜 会平安无事的 Hush Mona, say "all is well".
他踢了一下 He kicked.
什么 What?
他踢了一下 He kicked.
说"平安无事" Say "all is well".
平安无事 All is well.
如果病毒当时说一句"我孙子要做个工程师" If Virus had said, "my grandson will be an engineer"
我会海扁他一顿 I would've broken his jaw.
但他最终说的那句话把我们大家都震住了 But when he finally spoke, he stunned us.
踢得好啊 想当个足球运动员吗 What a kick! Wanna be a footballer?
做你想做的吧 Be what you want to be.
等等 我跟你还没完呢 Wait. I've not finished with you!
大学第一天 你问了我一个问题... First day of college, you'd asked me a question...
宇航员在太空为什么不用铅笔 Why didn't astronauts use a pencil in space?
如果铅笔尖断了 If a pencil tip breaks,
它会因为没有重力浮在空中 it'd float in zero gravity.
进入眼睛里 鼻子里 仪器里... Get into eyes, nose, instruments...
所以你错了 You were wrong.
你不能总是对的 You cannot be right all the time.
你明白吗 You understand?
明白 校长 Yes, sir.
这是个很重要的发明 This was an important invention.
你知道吗 You understand?
知道 校长 Yes, sir.
我的导师曾经说"当你遇到一个杰出的学生..." My director said, 'when you find an extraordinary student...'
去吧 学习去 通过考试再离开 Go, study! Pass your exams and leave.
现在宣布年度学生奖... And now, student of the year...
兰柯霍达斯·沙玛达斯·昌恰德 Ranchhoddas shamaldas chanchad
校长 一起合个影 Sir, one photo.
我想抓住所有这些瞬间 并把它们带回家 I wanted to capture all these memories and take them home.
那天 我们拥抱 我们庆祝 我们哭泣... That day, we hugged, we rejoiced, we cried...
我们发誓说每年大家最少相聚一次... We vowed that we'd meet at least once a year...
谁料到 那竟是我们最后一次见兰柯 Who knew then, we were seeing Rancho for the last time.
解开他 Untie him.
我要把你们全部告上美国法庭 I'll sue you all in an American court.
拉贾 Raju.
只有兰柯才会办一个这样的学校 Only Rancho can create a school like this.
但他人在哪儿呢 But where is he?
别在这儿撒尿 Don't pee here.
走开 小东西 Go away creatures.
-别在这里撒尿 -不然我掴你 - Don't pee here. - I'll smack you.
这就对了 他肯定在附近 Bingo! He cannot be far.
请问一下 兰柯霍达斯在哪儿 Excuse me, where is Ranchhoddas?
他不叫兰柯霍达斯 He's not Ranchhoddas!
兰柯... Rancho...
彻侯特...见鬼 他到底叫什么 Chhote...dammit, what's his name?
冷静一下 跟我来 Calm down. Come with me.
-他在哪儿 -兰柯 - Where's he? - Rancho.
法尔汉 他读过你所有的书 Farhan, he's read all your books.
拉贾 他每天都访问你的博客 Raju, he reads your blog everyday.
还很骄傲地和孩子们分享 Proudly shares it with the kids.
还记得你的头盔吗 琵雅 它被盗了... Remember your helmet, Pia? It was stolen...
你是谁 你怎么会认识我们 Who are you? How do you know us?
-你们都没认出来我吗 -没有 - Didn't you recognize me? - No.
你怎么会呢 小个子都变大个子了 How would you? Millimeter is now centimeter.
不是大个子 都成男子汉了 Not centimeter, you're kilometer.
你怎么到这儿来了 How did you get here?
我收到了一封信 里面装着火车票 I got a letter with a train ticket inside.
信里说"怀念学校吗 搭这趟车" It said 'Miss being in school? Catch this train'...
我就来了 I did.
那个骗子兰柯 That rascal Rancho!
那个白痴在哪儿呢 Where is that idiot?
多吉 你来飞 Dorje, you fiy it.
每晚你都会出现在我的梦中 Every night you ride into my dreams,
骑着摩托而来 装扮得宛如新娘 on a scooter, dressed as a bride.
取下的不是面纱 却是头盔 Instead of a veil, you lift your helmet.
信步走来 和我相吻 And come close to kiss me.
你走之前就不能跟我说一声吗 Couldn't you tell me before leaving?
不能 No.
对不起 Sorry.
你结婚了吗 Did you marry?
什么 没有 What? No.
-你呢 -差点儿就结了 白痴 - You? - Almost...idiot.
那么 So?
那么什么 So what?
你有爱的人吗 Do you love someone?
有了 Yes.
谁 Who?
你啊 You.
看见了吗 鼻子撞不到一起的 傻瓜 See, the noses don't collide, stupid.
是啊 That's right!
兰柯 Rancho.
你好啊 法尔汉 Hi...Farhan!
好你妹 Screw your 'hi'.
-你听我说... -不 你听我说 - Hey, listen to me... - No, you listen to me.
我可以解释所有这些事情 I can explain everything.
你好 拉贾 Hi...Raju!
我们找你找得多辛苦 How we hunted for you!
你连打个电话的钱都没有吗 Didn't have a coin for one phone call?
把我那份儿也算进去 Add a couple from me too.
-骗子 混蛋 -饶了他吧 - Rascai, scoundrel. - Let him go now.
好 好 够了 Ok ok, enough.
起来 快点 On your feet, come on.
玩得好吗 白痴们 Having fun, idiots?
是查特啊 Hey...hi Chatur.
兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德 Ranchhoddas Chanchad
你过得好吗 老师先生 How do you do, Mr. Teacher?
你是个乡村教师啊 苹果的果 气球的球 Wow, you're a teacher in a village, a for apple, b for ball...
我们的火车同时出发 你的却倒着开回去了 Our trains left together. But yours traveied in reverse...
从工程师到小学老师 from engineer to primary teacher.
你工资多少 昌恰德 5000吗 What's your salary, Chanchad? 5000?
我看来就像100美刀 For me that's $ 100.
我儿子的零花钱都比那个多 My son's pocket money is more than your salary.
-别说废话了 -他告诉过我们的才是废话 - Cut the crap. - Crap is what he gave us.
想要改变教育体系 改变世界 Wanted to change the education system, change the world.
到头来他改变了什么 孩子的尿布而已 Finaliy what does he change? Kids' diapers.
是你去扁他还是我去 You gonna break his jaw or should I?
别激动 Just relax.
记得我说过有一天你会哭 我却笑着吗 Remember I'd said one day you'd cry and I'd laugh?
签字吧 接受"你输了 我赢了" Sign here. Accept "you lost, I won"!
"失败宣言" 真不敢相信 'Declaration of defeat'! Unbelievable, man.
-查特 -疯狂的家伙 - Chatur. - Crazy guy.
这是病毒那支笔啊 你怎么拿着它 Hey, this is virus's pen! You pinched it?
这你就别妄想了 伙计 Forget it, man.
这是给成功者的 不是失败者 This is for winners, not losers.
万一你学校周转不开 给我助理打电话要捐款 If your school ever needs help, call my assistant for a donation.
苹果的果 气球的球... A for apple, b for ball...
-他一点都没变啊 -别管他了 - He hasn't changed at all! - Ignore him.
满嘴垃圾 He's full of crap.
好消息是你的名字不是 Good news is your name
兰柯霍达斯·昌恰德 isn't Ranchhoddas Chanchad.
想象一下 结婚之后我就是琵雅·昌恰德 Imagine, after marriage, I'm Pia Chanchad
恶心 Yuck!
那你真名叫什么 By the way, what is your real name?
范素科·旺都 Phunsukh Wangdu.
旺都? Wangdu?
琵雅·旺都 Pia Wangdu!
你说你是个科学家? You mean you're a scientist?
你有400项专利? You have 400 patents?
我结婚后不想改名字 I won't change my name after marriage.
你就是查特说的旺都吗 You mean you're Chatur's Wangdu?
你就是那个日本人都要讨好的人吗 It's you the Japanese are wooing?
我不喜欢旺都 I don't like Wangdu.
你是科学家还是老师呢 Are you a scientist or a teacher?
科学家 但我也教书 Scientist, but I also teach children.
这么说你就是那个范素科·旺都? So you are the Phunsukh Wangdu?
对 对 Yes, yes!
-喂 消音器 -查特 回来 - Hey silencer. - Hey Chatur, come back.
吃屁吧 Take that.
等等 我有办法让他停下 Wait, I'll stop him.
范素科·旺都来电
旺都先生吗 Mr. Wangdu,
真不敢相信你会打电话给我 I can't believe it's you.
对不起查特先生 I'm sorry, Mr. Chatur
我没办法和你公司签约了 I can't sign the deal with your company.
怎么回事 先生 为什么呢 先生 What sir? Why sir?
我怎么签啊 你把我的笔拿走了 How do I sign, man? You took my pen.
什么笔啊 先生 我没明白你意思... What pen, sir? I didn't get you...
你手里那个啊 病毒的笔 The one in your hand - Virus's pen.
旺都先生... Mr. Wangdu...?
怎么啦 查特 Yes, Chatur?
苹果的果 气球的球... A for apple, b for ball is...
搞砸的砸 ...S for screwed.
你把我弄糊涂了 兰柯 You got me, Rancho.
我是说旺都先生 I mean, Mr. Wangdu.
完全打败我了 做得好 Totally floored me. Good one.
我希望我们个人问题不会影响这笔生意 I hope our personal problems won't affect this deal.
查特啊 接着这个 Hey Chatur, take that.
我刚才那是开玩笑的 I was just joking, man.
我深知你会大展宏图 Deep down, I knew you'd do great things.
你坑爹呢 You're fibbing.
没有 真的 我发誓 No, really, I swear.
兰柯100分 查特0分 Rancho - 100, Chatur - 0.
你赢了 我输了 你还不相信我吗 You win, I lose. You don't believe me?
小心他要放屁 Beware of farts.
我敬爱的陛下 您崇高伟大 请接受这谦卑的问候 Your majesty, thou art great. Accept this humble offering.
免费建议 旺都先生 Free advice, Mr. Wangdu,
为了你的生活 跑吧 run for your life!
兰柯 我会丢了工作的 我上有老下有小... Rancho, I'll lose my job, man. I have small kids...
那个伟大的精神领袖兰柯霍达斯曾说过 His holiness guru Ranchhoddas had correctly stated,
追求卓越 成功就会找上你 follow excellence...success will chase you, pants down.