太坏了
喂 Yo.
我在为明年做些研究 Hey, I was doing some research for next year...
我想我找到想要订阅的网站了 ...and I think I figured out which website I wanna subscribe to.
Vag-tastic(真有这个色情网站) The Vag-tastic Voyage.
什么是Vag-tastic -which one is the Vag-tastic Voyage?
Vag-tastic就是 The Vag-tastic Voyage is the one where...
在街上随机找女孩 请她们上货车 they find random girls on the street, and they invite them into a van...
然后在货车里面纵情做爱 ...and then they bang them in the van.
好像是13美元一个月 It's like 13 bucks a month...
同时还有其它站点的访问权限 ...and you get access to other sites.
有一个拉丁裔站 一个亚裔站 Like one's Latina, one's Asian,
还有一个是关于特殊癖好的 you know, there's one for fetishes...
比如恋足癖 屎尿癖之类的 ...like feet and pee-pee and shit and stuff like that.
太恶心了 你这个禽兽 That's disgusting. You're like an animal.
我 恶心 你才奇怪呢 I'm...what? I'm disgusting? You're the weird one, man.
别让我觉得我喜欢色情小电影是一件奇怪的事情 Don't make me feel weird because I like porn.
你不喜欢色情你才奇怪呢 我就像一坨屎那么正常 You're weird for not liking porn. I'm normal as shit.
在别人身上小便 那正常吗 Peeing on people. That's normal?
埃文 我没说我要看那种东西 Evan, I'm not saying I'm gonna look at it.
我只是说这是那个网站附送的 I'm just saying that it comes with the site, okay?
我不知道十年后我会变成什么样 I don't know what I'm gonna be into 10 years from now.
我只是对那些素人图倒胃口了 I'm just sick of all the amateur stuff.
我的意思是如果我付了大钱 我就希望物有所值 I mean, like, if I'm paying top dollar, I want a little production value.
比如有些编辑 有些过渡 有些音乐 Like some editing, transition, something. Some music.
好吧 Yeah, well,
我很遗憾科恩兄弟不导演我喜欢看的情色电影 I'm sorry the Coen brothers don't direct the porn that I watch.
这些很难掌握 They're hard to get ahold of, okay?
再说你父母会看账单的 傻瓜 Plus your parents are gonna be looking at the bill, dipshit.
好吧你说对了 Yeah, you're right.
我也许该找个名字听起来最不淫秽的网站 I probably should pick the one with the least dirty name.
这也是现实存在的色情站点
那么 Perfect10如何 what about, like, Perfect Ten?
类似那样的 Something like that, you know?
像Perfect10那样的 Like Perfect Ten?
因为这数字可能代表任何东西 Because that could be any number of things.
他们不知道你在干嘛 They can't really get you for that.
比如可能是一个保龄球网站 That could be, like, a bowling website.
是 但是他们不会有插入的镜头 这个是关键 Yeah, but they don't really show dick going in, which is a huge concern.
好吧我没意识到 I didn't realize that.
另外 你见过真实的阴道么 Plus, have you ever seen a vagina by itself?
我没有 Not for me.
嗨 Hi.
-谢谢你带他过来 塞思 -不用谢 简 -Thanks for taking him, Seth. -No.No problem, Jane.
-近况如何 -不错 -How are you? -Good.
真好 Beautiful.
-别碰那个 -你在 -Don't touch that. -what are you...?
-我可不是省油的灯 -你们两个真有趣 -I'm not a piece of meat. -You two are funny.
我不能想像明年你们分开之后 你们打算干什么 I can't imagine what you're gonna do without each other next year.
埃文告诉我你没有进达特茅斯 Evan told me you didn't get into Dartmouth.
我进了其他学校 不错的学校 所以我不会有事的 I got into some schools, some pretty good ones. So I'll be fine.
-你们会想对方么 -不会的 想对方 不会的 -You gonna miss each other? -No. Miss each other? No, thank you.
我不会 我不会想对方的 I don't...I don't miss each other.
我每晚会含着眼泪入睡 I'm gonna cry myself to sleep every night.
-我也会 -当我没有去派对玩的时候 -Me too. -when I'm out partying.
孩子们 上学吧 Go to school, boys.
-妈妈再见 -简 再见 -Bye, Mom. -Bye, Jane.
我真羡慕你小时候 可以吮吸那对奶头 I am truly jealous you got to suck on those tits when you were a baby.
好吧 至少你可以吸你爸爸的鸡巴 Yeah, well, at least you got to suck on your dad's dick.
塞思 你不能在教工停车区停车 Hey, Seth, you can't park in the faculty lot.
伙计 别像个娘们一样 我要在上课前喝一听红牛 Don't be such a vagine, man. I gotta get a Red Bull before class.
你这个傻瓜 你不应该在那里停车的 You're being an idiot. You shouldn't have parked there.
操 我都快毕业了 Fuck it. I'm about to graduate.
他们应该来舔我的蛋蛋 They should be sucking on my ball sac.
这是他们浪费我三年人生的最起码补偿 It's the least they could do for stealing three years of my life.
-天哪 -看看那些乳头 -Oh, fuck me. -Look at those nipples.
看上去像婴儿的脚趾 They're like little baby toes.
这不公平 她们可以卖弄乳头 It's not fair they get to flaunt that stuff...
而我每次勃起了都得藏着掖着 ...and I have to hide every erection I get.
你知道我怎么做么 我把它翻上去 束在我的裤带里 You know what I do? I flip my boner up into my waistband.
这样可以藏起来而且感觉很棒 It hides it and it feels awesome.
我差不多在我肚脐上面射了一大堆 I almost blew a load into my bellybutton.
我的意思是 想象一下 I mean, just imagine
女孩们不会因为我们硬了而大惊小怪 if girls weren't weirded out by our boners...
而是巴不得想看见这样 ...and just, like, wanted to see them.
这才是我想生活的世界 I mean, that's the world I one day wanna live in.
上次我亲眼看到女人的乳头 已经是两年以前的事情了 It's been two years since I've seen an actual human female nipple.
肖娜 肖娜已经是两年前的事情了 Shauna? Shauna was two years ago now?
对 Yeah.
我想也是 但是她真是火辣 Yeah, I guess so. But she was insanely hot.
非常正确 她太热辣了 这就是问题 Exactly. She was too hot, okay? That's what sucks.
那怎么会是问题呢 如果我泡到她我会发疯的 How can that suck? I'd be psyched if I got with her.
她好像为你打了二十几次手枪 You got, like, two dozen handjobs.
对 还有四分之三次吹箫 但是谁会去数 Yes, and three-quarters of a blowjob, but who's counting?
这是我泡妞生涯的巅峰 Look, it was the peak of my ass-getting career...
但是却来得太早了 ...and it happened way too early.
《公民凯恩》的编导和主演
-你就像奥逊?威尔斯一样 -正解 -You're like Orson welles. -Exactly!
如果我按部就班来的话 至少我能和一个好看的女孩 If I'd paced myself, I'd be having at least steady sex...
有稳定的性关系 ...with a decent-looking girl.
我真的明白为什么奥逊?威尔斯会暴饮暴食把自己搞死了 I honestly see now why Orson welles ate his fat ass to death.
在大学你会有性关系的 所有人都有 You'll have sex in college, everyone does.
但关键是在你进大学之前你就得善于做爱 But the point is to be good at sex by the time you get to college.
你不会希望女孩们觉得你对肏屄不在行 You don't want girls thinking you suck dick at fucking pussy.
我觉得你和朱尔丝还有机会 I still think you have a chance with Jules.
去年夏天之后她出落得太标致了 She got incredibly hot over last summer...
而且她显然还没有意识到这点 ...and she obviously hasn't realized it yet...
因为她还是和你说话和你调情 ...because she's still talking to you and flirting with you.
你疯了吗 看看朱尔丝约会的对象吧 Are you out of your mind? Look at Jules' dating record, okay?
她和丹?瑞米克约会 She dated Dan Remick,
那个家伙从幼儿园开始就有一个超大的鸟 who's had a six-pack since, like, kindergarten.
杰森?斯通 看上去他妈的像扎克?莫里斯 Jason Stone, who looks like fucking Zack Morris. And Matt Muir.
某系列美剧中女友无数的帅哥
还有马特?缪尔 他是有史以来最有吸引力的小子 Matt Muir. He's the sweetest guy ever.
你和他对视过吗 Have you ever stared into his eyes?
就好像我第一次听披头士的音乐一样 It was like the first time I heard the Beatles.
她为什么要和我一起度过最后的高中时光呢 why would she end her high school career with me?
贝卡和埃里克?罗斯科兰茨交往两年了 Becca dated Eric Rosecrantz for like two years.
没错 但是他是个傻瓜 你比他要高一个档次呢 Yeah, but he's a fucking idiot. You're a step up from that dick-load.
所以说你别 你帮我付一下帐好吗 That's why you need to stop...will you get this?
所以说你别再像个娘娘腔 应该赶快搞定她 That's why you need to stop being a pussy and nail her.
在你离开之前可以操她两个月 You could bang her before you leave.
换了我决不会犹豫的 她看上去经验丰富 And I'm not gonna dance around it, she looks like a good fucker.
听你这么说她我很烦 伙计 I'm tired of you talking about her like that, man.
什么 难道你可以整天谈论她 what, you can talk about her all day
但是我说了一点点就是对她的亵渎 and if I say one thing, it's blasphemy?
我不会没完没了地侮辱她 well, I don't constantly insult her.
我不想侮辱她 I'm not trying to insult her.
我只是说她看上去经验丰富 I'm just saying that she looks like a good fucker, okay?
她看上去很耐操 She looks like she can take a dick.
有些女的以自己的耐操能力为荣 Some women pride themselves on their dick-taking abilities.
耐操能力 你觉得这样说一个人好吗 Dick-taking abilities? You think that's good to say about someone?
见鬼 我就觉得这样很好 不是吗 The fucked-up thing is, I actually do, okay?
如果有女的夸我金枪不倒 If a woman tried to compliment me on my dick-giving abilities,
我会乐疯的 I'd be psyched.
塞思 Hey, yo, Seth.
什么事 what?
你知道下周六我要办一个盛大的毕业派对吗 Did you hear I'm having a big grad party next Saturday?
-不知道 -好吧 -No. -Yeah.
-天哪 -你不许来 -Oh, shit! -You're not coming.
告诉你那个该死的基佬朋友 他也是不受欢迎的 Tell your fucking faggot friend he can't come either.
杰西要我告诉你 So Jesse wanted me to tell you...
你是基佬而且在他的派对上不受欢迎 ...you're a fucking faggot and can't come to his party.
伙计 你真没种 You really bitched out back there, man.
我没种 I bitched out?
你才没种呢 叛徒 You bitched out, man, you fucking Judas.
你就眼看着我被他欺负 You fucking left me hanging.
你想我在他的口水里面潜水么 Did you want me to dive in front of his spit?
加油伙计 跑 Come on, guys, let's go!
妈的 This is bullshit.
娘娘腔 Pussy.
如果i等于根号-1 If I equals the square root of negative one...
那么i的平方等于-1 对吗 ...then I squared equals negative one. Okay?
如果把i看作常数 In other words, if you consider I as a constant...
你就可以定义所有负数的平方根了 ...you can then define the square roots of all the negative numbers.
所以i是一个虚数 并不真正存在 So I is an imaginary number. It doesn't really exist.
如果i等于根号-1 If I equals the square root of negative one...
那么i的平方等于-1 ...then I squared equals negative one.
听上去是不是有点 到此为止吧 Is this making s...? Okay.
-再见 -埃文 -Okay, bye. -Evan!
-埃文 -贝卡 -Evan, hey. -Hey, Becca.
谢谢你的笔 Hey, thank you for your pen.
没关系 你拿着吧 No problem. No, no, don't worry. No worries. You keep it.
你明天就不用问我借了 You won't have to borrow one again because you'll have that one.
-十分感谢 -不谢 -Thank you so much, that's... . -You're welcome. Don't worry about it.
我想问问你 So I was gonna ask you...
你听说下周末杰西的毕业晚会吗 ...did you hear about Jesse's grad party next weekend?
-应该会很好玩的 -听说了 可能去吧 -It should be fun. -I heard. I...It's a maybe.
-真的 -到现在如此 -Really? -For me at the moment.
-敬请赐复 -只是可能去 -My R.S.V.P. -Just a maybe?
目前为止 So far.
有太多别的有趣的事可能发生 There's so much other fun shit that's gonna be happening...
我真的不能保证什么 以免伤了别人的感情 ...that I can't really commit and, you know, hurt someone's feelings.
有趣的事情 Fun shit?
但是我从来没有看到你参加派对或别的事情 But I never see you at parties or anything.
因为我在干更有趣的事情 That's because of all the other fun shit I'm off doing.
我真的很想参加 但是 I'd love to be at all of them, but... .
那么为什么你周六没去德米特里家 why weren't you at Dimitri's on Saturday?
我的事情太多了 There was so many things going on.
我实在抽不出时间参加 I couldn't find a minute to make an appearance.
-你干什么了 -星期六真是一个疯狂的夜晚 -what did you do? -Saturday was a crazy night for me.
我叫了几个朋友过来 喝了些酒 I had some friends over, we had a few drinks.
这就是Vag-tastic That's Vag-tastic!
我在我的地下室里玩乐 I hung out in my basement, the chill zone, where we chill-lax.
又凉快又放松 Like "relax" and "chill" all at once.
塞思的父母开了个派对 Seth's parents were throwing a party.
我们在成人间周旋 这是个很好的机会 we got to hang around adults, which was a nice change of pace.
你和别人交谈 听他们有趣的故事 You converse, you talk to people and they have interesting stories.
我和一个自称爬了五座山的男人聊天 I talked to a man who claimed he had climbed five mountains in his life.
然后我们去了一个夜总会 Then we went to a nightclub,
真是难以置信 又大又漂亮 which was incredible. This big, fancy one.
-我现在想看看奶子 -我觉得那真是疯狂 -Gonna look at tits right now! -I'm feeling crazy. I said that.
-你们进去了 -我们直接就进去了 -You got in? -we got right in.
-小毛孩你们想干嘛 -肏你妈 -wanna do this, 'roid monkey? -Fuck you!
然后这一晚就过去了 我们真的精疲力尽了 Then we called it a night. we were all just really exhausted.
你干嘛 what the fuck?!
你会喜欢的 不可思议的夜晚 You would've loved it. It was an incredible, unbelievable night.
听上去真好玩 That sounds like a lot of fun.
我有时也想做类似的事情 You know, I'd love to go do something like that sometime.
谁不想呢 比如 who wouldn't? I mean, it was like...
我和塞思老是喜欢策划 ...me and Seth are always kind of cooking up these...
这种有趣的小活动 ...fun, sort of, little, you know, events.
我猜明年你们两个肯定会一起疯玩的 I guess you guys are really gonna go crazy next year together.
我们打算这样 但是我们去了不同的学校 we were going to, but we got into different schools.
真的 那太痛苦了 Really? That sucks.
不算太坏吧 我的意思是应该还行 Yeah, I mean, it's not too bad. I mean, it should be okay.
不用太担心 Not too worried about it, really.
别担心 我一点也不担心 Don't worry about it. I'm not worried at all.
-好吧 谢谢你的笔 -不谢 -All right, well, thank you for the pen. -Yeah. No problem.
-再见 -再见 -Bye. -Bye.
埃文再见 Bye, Evan.
海沃思夫人 我选这门课是因为我想和别人一起做饭 Mrs. Hayworth, I joined this class because I'd be cooking with a partner.
但是我的搭档从来没出现 But she's never here,
而我也不会因此得到两倍的学分 and I don't get twice the grades for doing all the work.
塞思 奇数并不是我发明的 I didn't invent odd numbers, Seth.
我知道 但是你看看埃文 I know, but look at Evan, okay? Just look at him.
别让我等太久 我快不耐烦了 Don't keep me waiting much longer. I'm getting impatient up here.
你知道我在说什么 米洛基你让我很难堪 You know what I'm talking about. Miroki, you're embarrassing me.
我在这里被孤立了 I'm here in my unit, isolated and alone,
吃着难吃的东西 eating my terrible-tasting food...
而且还得忍受那样 ...and I gotta look over at that.
看来是我这辈子见过的最滑稽的事 Looks like the most fun I've ever seen in my life.
这是狗屁 恕我用词不当 我又要清洗又要擦干 And it's B.S. Excuse my language. I'm just saying that I wash and dry.
我就像个单身妈妈一样 I'm like a single mother.
我不想冒犯您 但我们都知道家政课是搞笑的 we all know Home Ec is a joke, no offense.
每个选这门课的人都拿了A Everyone takes this class to get an A.
这是狗屁 对不起我用词不当 It's bullshit, and I'm sorry.
我不是鄙视你的职业 但这就是我的感觉 I'm not putting down your profession, but it's just the way I feel.
我不想一个人坐在这里 煮屎一样的食物 I don't wanna sit here alone cooking this shitty food.
我不想冒犯 但是我觉得我没有必要学会做提拉米苏 No offense. And I just think that I don't ever need to cook tiramisu.
我什么时候需要自己做提拉米苏 when am I gonna need to cook tiramisu?
我会做一个厨师么 不会的 Am I gonna be a chef? No.
还有三个礼拜就毕业了 他妈的让我喘口气吧 There's three weeks left in school. Give me a fucking break.
很抱歉我说脏话了 I'm sorry for cursing.
好吧 朱尔丝的搭档今天也没来 All right, Jules' partner isn't here today either.
和她搭档吧 四号台 Pair up with her. Station four.
朱尔丝 Jules?
好吧我再努力一次 All right. I'll give it another shot.
我再努力上一次家政课 I'll give Home Ec another shot.
朱尔丝 你的搭档今天没来吗 Hey, Jules. Your partner didn't come today?
-这个涉及隐私 -什么 -That's kind of a personal question. -what?
没什么 我试着幽默一点 我只是 Nothing. It's my attempt at humor. I was just...
你是说来高潮 Oh, like coming.
就要 来了 就要 来了 Like "coming" coming.
有点过火了 你的姿势 wow, that was a little too far right there. The gesture.
我做得有点过火了 Yeah. It's pretty far. Shit, I do that...
没关系我习惯了 No, don't worry. I'm actually used to it.
我哥哥 就是那个最顽皮的 My older brother says, like, the nastiest shit.
直到我12岁时都管我叫 处女膜 Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12.
-太恶心了 一点也不好玩 -我知道 -That's sick. That's not even clever. -I know.
我知道 I know.
我喜欢隐晦一点点的 I would've gone with something at least mildly entertaining.
比如 家小朱尔丝 You know, like...Like...Like "family Jules."
或者 呸 那个他妈的真好笑 Or like "nuts." Yeah, that's funny. That's a fucking funny joke.
真好玩 Fucking funny.
-难以置信 -好吧 我们 -I can't believe that. -So, all right. we gotta...
把它混合起来 ...mix it up.
要是我们把它用巧克力盖起来 海沃思肯定会注意到的 Yeah, Hayworth will notice this, if we cover it with chocolate.
-全都盖住 -只管倒上去 我是认真的 -The whole thing? -Just dump it on. I'm serious.
好吧 Okay.
-现在看上去很专业吧 -确实很棒 -And now it looks professional. -That's really impressive.
-干得不错 -我觉得我们会得A的 -It's beautifully done. -I think we're gonna get an A.
你今晚有什么安排 So, what are you doing tonight?
-没什么 怎么了 -不知道 -Probably nothing. why? -I don't know.
我父母走了 所以我打算办个派对 My parents are gone so I'm having a party.
我不知道多少人会来 I don't really know how many people are gonna be there...
要是你愿意的话你也可以过来坐坐 ...but you could stop by if you wanted to.
好 我喜欢派对 Yeah, I love parties.
真的吗 Really?
我从没在派对上看到过你 I just don't really ever see you at them.
你知道 我是既爱又恨 You know, it's a love-hate thing.
不过现在我真的很喜欢派对 So, like, you know, right now, I really love them, though.
- -干得不错 对吗米洛基 -Yeah. -Good shit, right, Miroki?
米洛基 能不能让我们悄悄讲两句话 谢谢 Hey, Miroki, could we have a minute alone? Just...Thanks.
伙计 朱尔丝要办个派对 Dude, Jules is having a fucking party.
-别和佛格尔说派对的事情 -伙计们 怎么了 -Don't tell Fogell about the party. -Gangsters. what's up, guys?
我刚才在大厅里走着 妮可拉就在我前面 I was just walking down the hall and Nicola was right in front of me.
她穿着白色紧身裤和黑色的G-string内裤 She's wearing these tight white pants with this black G-string...
你可以看透她的外裤 太赞了 ...and you could see right through the pants. It was so sweet.
10:33了 It's 10:33.
什么 what?
我告诉她现在几点了 I told her what time it was.
这他妈的是我这辈子听到过最酷的故事了 That's the coolest fucking story I've ever heard in my entire life.
-你能再复述一下吗 你有时间吗 -好的 塞思 -Can I hear it again? You have time? -Yeah, yeah, Seth.
我和埃文在达特茅斯的时候会怀念你的冷笑话的 I'll miss your knee-slappers when me and Evan are at Dartmouth.
对你们在达特茅斯的时候我会在 while you guys are at Dartmouth, I'll be at State...
女孩们智商减半 性欲加倍 愿意为我口交的地方 ...where the girls are half as smart and twice as likely to fellash me.
笨蛋你们今晚有什么安排 what are you guys doing tonight? Asshole.
啥事都没有 佛格尔 we got nothing. Nothing tonight, Fogell.
要是没事的话我们再喝个烂醉吧 No? well, if nothing comes up, we can get shitfaced again, yeah?
你们一直叫我娘娘腔 但是今天这么叫就错了 You're always calling me a pussy, but today you're wrong.
午饭时候我要去迈克?施奈德去过的那地方 At lunch, I'm going to the same place Mike Snider went...
去拿我新的假身份证 ...to pick up my brand-new fake ID.
哈哈 假身份证 假身份证 我要喝个烂醉 Yeah. Fake ID. Fake ID. I'm tight.
太棒了 刚才埃文说 That's insane. Evan was like,
我听说有个派对 别告诉佛格尔 "I heard about this party.
我说 不 我们应该告诉佛格尔 we shouldn't tell Fogell." I was like, "No, we should tell Fogell."
你能帮我们买酒了 太赞了 You could buy us booze now. It's awesome.
我当然会买酒的 我们会买到酒的 Yeah, I'll...Sure, I'll buy the booze. Yeah, we're gonna get our drinks on.
我们开个派对玩个痛快吧 伙计 we're gonna party and get crunk and rock out, dude.
如果你不上这门课 请你离开 If you're not in this class, leave this class.
喂 佛格尔 Fogell! Hi.
好吧我走了 Okay. Gotta go.
你们真行 下课见 well done. Seriously. See you after class.
你和那个傻瓜说过你不会和他在一起住吗 You tell that idiot you're not rooming with him?
还没有 Not yet. No.
好吧 你最好跟他说 那家伙天生讨女人嫌 All right, well, you better. That guy's the fucking anti-poon.
塞思 现在该收拾了 你干吗偷懒 Seth, it's dishes time. what's the holdup?
我们要去搞一张假身份证 所以 we're getting a fake ID, so... .
-没啥大不了的 -真酷 -It's not like a big deal. -wow, that's cool.
但你们还要再读四年呢 But you guys have, like, four more years to go...
难道说你们要去工作吗 ...so do you wanna get to work?
我们进了不同的学校 所以 well, we got into different schools, so... .
所以你们就要乱来 你想过后果吗 So you're cutting the cord? what's gonna happen?
什么都不会发生的 你们以为会发生什么 Nothing. Jeez, what does everybody think is gonna happen?
如果我们不是每秒钟都在一起 The world's gonna explode
这个世界就会爆炸吗 if we don't spend every second together?
我的意思是 我们又不是离了对方就活不下去 I mean, we're not dependent on each other, you know.
我们8岁才认识 之前我们都挺好 we met when we were 8. we were fine before then.
我们又不是做每件事情都黏在一起 I was. I mean, it's like, we don't do everything together.
好吧我上个厕所 No. All right, I gotta take a piss.
我的小弟弟要自己晃动了 走吧宝贝 My dick's not gonna shake itself. Come on, babe.
-他就是那样 -我得走了 -He's a crack-up. -I'm just gonna go.
好吧至少我们有一个毕业派对了 well, at least we're getting a graduation party.
感谢上帝 Thank God, man.
我太激动了 I'm excited.
为了和朱尔丝在一起我什么都愿意做 I would do terrible, disgusting things to hook up with Jules.
-甚至不可饶恕的事情 -知道了 伙计 -Unforgivable things. -I hear you, man.
我也要争取和贝卡约会 I'd give my middle nut to start dating Becca.
贝卡是个贱人 Becca's a bitch.
你知道么 跟你说实话吧 You know what? I'm seriously getting fucking sick of you...
你这么说她真的让我很火大 ...talking about her like that, if we can be honest.
-我也是 -为什么你那么恨她 -Me too. -why do you hate her so much?
你从来没有给过我理由 我觉得你喜欢她 You've never given me a reason. I think you like her.
-去你妈的 我恨贝卡 -为什么 -Fuck no, man! I hate Becca. -why, man?
好吧 埃文 你听我说 Fine, Evan. Here it comes.
我小时候有个毛病 when I was a little kid, I kind of had this problem.
但是这个没什么大不了的 And it's not even that big of a deal.
8%的孩子都有这个问题 Something like 8 percent of kids do it, but whatever. It's... .
我也不知道为什么 For some reason, I don't know why,
我喜欢在一个地方坐上半天 I would just kind of sit around all day...
画阴茎的图片 ...and draw pictures of dicks.
什么 what?
画阴茎的图片 Draw pictures of dicks.
阴茎 Dicks?
男人的阴茎 Like a man dick?
没错 Yeah. Like a man dick.
我就在那里坐好几个小时 在那里画阴茎 I'd sit there for hours, drawing dicks.
我不知道是什么原因 I don't know what it was.
只要纸和笔一接触我就想画阴茎 I couldn't touch the pen to paper without drawing the shape of a penis.
-天哪 -太诡异了 -That's fucked. -No shit, it's really fucked up.
就是这样 我一个小孩子 Here I am, this little kid...
会不由自主画阴茎来拯救我的生活 ... and I can't stop drawing dicks to save my own life.
好吧 我看不出来这个和贝卡有什么关系 All right. I mean, I don't see what this has to do with Becca.
你听着就是了 Just listen. Okay?
你那宝贝小贝卡四年级时候坐我边上 Your precious little Becca sat next to me for all of fourth grade.
我主要在教室里画画 And in the classroom is where I did the majority of my illustrations.
对于这个我一直保密 I was very secretive about this whole dick operation I had going on.
即使我自己也觉得那很疯狂 Even I thought I was fucking crazy.
想想其他人会怎么想 Imagine what everyone else would think.
所以我把我的作品 So I would stash all of my dick drawings...
都藏在这个饭盒里面 ... in this Ghostbusters lunchbox that I had.
有一天我画了一个又粗又大 青筋毕露的大家伙 So one day I'm finishing up this real big, veiny, triumphant bastard.
突然之间 All of a sudden... .
废人 Pussy!
你的大作掉到了贝卡的脚上了 You hit Becca's foot with your dick?
我知道 Yeah. I know.
天哪 Oh, my God!
她开始哭 发疯了 她把我带到校长面前 She starts crying. She flips out. And she rats me out to the principal.
他发现了饭盒里的秘密 He finds this Ghostbusters lunchbox dick treasure chest...
也疯掉了 ... and he fucking flips out.
他找来我父母 He calls in my parents.
似乎这个校长是狂热的教徒 Turns out this principal is some religious fanatic...
他觉得我被阴茎魔附身了 ... and he thinks I'm possessed by some dick devil.
我父母带我去看医生 他问了我很多关于阴茎的问题 My parents make me see a therapist, and he's asking me dick questions.
他们还不允许我吃外型像阴茎的东西 They made me stop eating foods shaped like dicks.
不许吃热狗 不许吃冰棍 No hot dogs, no Popsicles.
你知道有多少食物看上去像阴茎吗 都是最好吃的食物 You know how many foods are shaped like dicks? The best kinds.
这太复杂了 well, I don't...That's really messed up.
-太逊了 -好吧我来结束这个混乱 -Super gay. -All right, let's stop this madness.
我们吃些甜品吧 Let's just go get some dessert.
我不行 我必须去见我的辅导员 I can't, I gotta go meet my counselor.
我要选明年的课程 I'm picking out my classes for next year.
难道我要像斯蒂芬?格兰斯堡一样 So I gotta sit and eat dessert alone,
独自坐在这里吃甜品 like I'm fucking Steven Glanzberg?
你想要我怎么办 I gue...Yeah, I mean, what do you want me to do?
不知道 算了没事 I don't know. Nothing. It's fine.
-放松点 马上回来 -没关系 -Just relax, man. I'll see you later. -That's fine. I'll be fine.
废人 Hey, pussy.
操你妈 Fuck off.
只是一个 不是两个 Just the one. Just the one. Not both.
-那我打电话给安迪和格雷格 -好 -So I'll call Andy and Greg. -Okay.
我会把80年代的舞曲带来 And I'll bring the '80s dance music.
-好的好的 -好极了 -Yeah, yeah. -Right on.
嗨 塞思你来了 我们正在谈论你呢 Seth! Hi. There you are. we were just talking about you.
-我来了 -太奇怪了 -Here I am. -That's weird.
那么你今晚会来我的派对对吧 人太多了 So you're coming to my party tonight? Because it's fully on.
那么我是不是不应该来了 我能干别的 Yeah, why? Should I not come? Because I could think of other shit... .
不 我希望你来 只是 Oh, no. No. I want you to come, I just...
你之前提到什么假身份证对吗 You said something earlier about, like, a fake ID or something, right?
我要去搞一张 一定 Yeah, I'm gonna get one. For sure, for sure.
我一定会搞到的 I'm getting that for sure.
你能帮我们买酒吗 Can you get us booze?
可以 没问题 Yeah. I can. I can get you guys alcohol.
-真的吗 -一定 -Really? Seriously? -Yes, for sure.
太帅了 谢谢你 That would be awesome. Thank you.
我们正为这个担心呢 太好了 Because we were worried about that. That would be great.
而且 互帮互助嘛 Plus, you know, you scratch our backs, we'll scratch yours.
好吧 朱尔丝我想要你帮的忙 well, Jules, the funny thing about my back...
在我的小弟弟上 ...is that it's located on my cock.
你确定你们要酒 So you do want alcohol? You want some or no?
你真的想要买酒 You do or you don't? You do want alcohol.
我都可以 Either way.
我都可以 Either way. Either way's fine.
你帮了大忙了 This is actually kind of a big favor.
我父母给了我100块让我买吃的 Because my parents left me like 100 bucks to feed myself for the week.
但是屋子里有的是吃的 所以我想都花在 But the house is full of food, so I just thought I'd spend it all...
派对的特饮上面 ...on, you know, extra drinks for the party, so... .
太好了 我从来没干过这么好的事情 That's really nice. I don't think I've ever done anything that nice.
-没问题 -没问题 -It's cool? -Yeah.
-多谢 -太帅了 -Okay. Thank you. -Awesome.
真的非常感谢 I mean, seriously, that's really...That's nice of you. Thank you.
我该买不同种类的酒吗 So should I just get a shitload of different shit?
你帮我买一些凯尔杀手柠檬水好了 well, you gotta get me some Kyle's Killer Lemonade.
凯尔杀手柠檬水 听上去像基佬喝的 但是我会买的 Kyle's Killer Lemonade. That's kind of gay, but I can get it for you.
好 晚上见 So...Okay, so then we will see you tonight.
伙计们 抢球 Go to the ball, guys.
埃文 好好踢球 Evan. Get into the game.
把球踢过来 Kick it over to me.
塞思 别进球场 Seth! Get off the field!
快出去 他们会让我跑圈的 Get out of here. They're gonna make me run laps.
你听着就好 Just fucking listen, okay?
朱尔丝和她的傻瓜朋友叫我去买酒 Jules and her stupid fucking friend asked me to buy her alcohol.
但不光是帮她买 是帮整个派对买 But not just her, for her whole party.
你知道这个意味着什么吗 You know what that means?
由于发生了奇迹 我们搭档了 所以她心里有了我 By some miracle, we were paired up and she actually thought of me.
而且她觉得可以信任我 Thought of me enough to decide I was the guy she would trust...
让我帮她搞好这个派对 她想和我做爱 ...with the whole fun-ness of her party. She wants to fuck me.
她想让我的鸡巴在她嘴里进出 She wants my dick in or around her mouth.
她会不会只是利用你去买酒 Did you think that maybe she's using you to get her alcohol?
-她不想和你上床 -我当然想过 -She doesn't want your dick. -Of course I thought of that.
这是我第一时间想到的 听着 The first thing that came to my mind. Listen.
我哥哥 就是那个最顽皮的 My older brother always says the nastiest shit.
直到我12岁时都管我叫 处女膜 Like he called me "hymen" until I was 12.
塞思我想帮你口交 Seth, I wanna blow you.
她肯定没有那么说 She didn't say that. Come on.
第二部分她是没说 但是第一部分 She didn't say the second part, the first...
她有一个哥哥 她可能问过他 She's got an older brother. She could have asked him.
她看着我的眼睛说 She looked me in the eyes and said:
塞思 妈妈在做少年色拉 "Seth, Mom is making a pubie salad.
我要一点你身上的"色拉油" I need some Seth's Own dressing."
她现在很欠操 很欠操 老兄 She's D.T.F. She's down to fuck, man.
她要的就是肉棒插穴 P in vagi. She wants to fuck, man.
今晚真的有机会上她 Tonight is the night that fucking is an actual possibility.
你说话像白痴一样 你不会睡到她的 You sound like an idiot. You're not gonna sleep with her.
不 哥们 我知道自己在胡说八道 No. Dude, I know I talk a lot of shit, okay?
可是她今晚要参加聚会 还会喝醉 But she's gonna be at the party and she's gonna be drunk.
她至少有一点点喜欢我 那么我最起码可以摸摸她 She likes me at least a little. At the very least, I'll make out with her.
两个星期打手枪 一个月吹箫 随便怎样吧 Two weeks, handjob. Month, blowjob. whatever.
然后她就成了我的女朋友 And then I make her my girlfriend.
然后我就能做爱整整两个月 And I've got, like, two solid months of sex.
等到大学开学的时候 By the time college rolls around...
我就是黄夏留教授了 ...l'll be like the Iron Chef of pounding vag.
我们以后再谈这个好吗 Can we talk about this later?
搞什么 埃文 我们丢了两个球了 what the fuck, Evan? we're down two points.
别激动 格雷格 这是足球 Fucking calm down, Greg. It's soccer.
-这是足球 -操你妈 -It's soccer. -Fuck you, man.
格雷格 你怎么不再尿裤子了 Hey, Greg, why don't you go piss your pants again?
-八年前就不尿了 浑蛋 -大家不会忘记的 -That was eight years ago, asshole. -People don't forget.
你想听听最精彩的部分吗 贝卡 Do you wanna hear the best part? Becca.
你可以和她做一样的事 You do the same thing with her.
等你们喝醉了 你就可以上她 when you guys are shitfaced, you get with her.
这是我们高中时代最后的聚会 This is our last party as high school people.
我一想到这个计划 就把我对贝卡的仇恨抛弃了 I've ignored my hatred for Becca in coming up with this plan.
我可是能屈能伸的 你只要和我干了这一票 I'm flexing nuts. Just fucking come with me on this voyage...
而且做一次男子汉 ...and stop being a pussy for once...
我们就能上几个妞 ...and we can fucking fuck some girls already.
-我应该给贝卡买酒 -对 这等于是春药 -I should buy Becca alcohol? -Yeah, it'll be pimp.
你知道她会喝醉的 你知道女孩子什么时候会说 That way you know she'll be drunk. You know when girls say:
我昨天晚上喝得太多了 不该和那家伙上床的 "I was so shitfaced last night. I shouldn't have fucked that guy."
我们可以成为那个家伙 we could be that mistake!
你跟佛格尔说了没有 Have you talked to Fogell?
好吧 你去和贝卡说 我去和那个弱智佛格尔说 All right, you talk to Becca. I'll talk to that retard, Fogell.
别担心 Don't worry.
-塞思 离开球场 -进了 -Seth, get off the field! -Goal.
-你去捡回来 -我不捡 -You're getting that! -No, I'm not!
贝卡 等等 Hey, Becca. Hey, hold up.
-你好 -你好 -Oh, hey. -Hey.
你听说了今晚的聚会吗 Hi. Did you hear about the party tonight?
是 我刚听说了 看来会不错 Yeah. Yeah, I just heard. It sounds awesome.
是 我会去的 Yeah. Yeah, I'm going.
-是吗 -是 我要去的 -Really? -Yeah, I'm gonna go.
我就是来找你说这件事 That's why I came looking for you.
我会和朋友们去商店买点酒 Me and the guys are gonna go to a liquor store.
我在想 And I just thought, you know...
如果你也需要酒 我可以帮你买 ...if you needed someone to get you yours, I could do that.
我可以买的 I could be that person.
好 Yeah.
好 那太好了 Yeah, no, that would be great.
这可帮我的大忙了 不然我就只能求姐姐帮我买了 That would save me such a hassle, because I was gonna beg my sister.
可以帮我带一瓶金箔伏特加吗 Could you get me, like, a bottle of Goldslick Vodka?
好 是那种有金色薄片飘在里面的酒吗 Yeah. That's the one with the little golden flakes in it?
-是 淑女专用的 -美酒 -Yeah. The girly one. -That's classy.
派对时我会把钱还你 well, I'll pay you back at the party.
不用了 算我的了 美女 No, you won't. No, it's my treat, miss.
-真的 -当然 -Really? -Yep. That's that.
以后还会买给你 所以习惯就好了 美女 It's the first of many too, so get used to it, sister.
谢谢 well, thank you.
没事 Yeah, no problem.
-对不起 不是故意的 -没关系 -I'm sorry. It was an accident. -It's okay.
我只是想轻轻拍你下 朋友之间的那种 I was gonna give you a nudge...A punch, the friend thing.
我不是想 I didn't mean...
-你好 贝卡 -你好 -Hey, Becca. -Hey.
-你好 -宝贝 -Hey. -Gaby.
-怎么样 埃文 -你好 盖比 -what's up, Evan? -Hey, Gaby.
-我们该去上课了 -我们得走了 -we should get to class. -we're gonna go.
-那么晚上见 -好 -So I will see you tonight. -Okay.
-真的 没关系 -好的 对不起 -Really, don't worry. -Okay. Sorry.
-再见 -对不起 -Bye. -Sorry.
再见 Bye.
对不起 Sorry.
佛格尔那饭桶去哪了 他说他来的 where's that sack of shit, Fogell? He said he'd be here.
害我在这里傻等半天 I'm here with my thumb up my ass.
我成功了 老兄 我还答应帮她付钱 I did it, dude. I even offered to pay for it.
我觉得自己象个拉皮条的 It was pimp. I feel like a pimp right now.
-就象那些拉皮条的 -其实就是他妈拉皮条 -Like one of those pimps. -That is fucking pimp.
-我就害怕这个 -我怎么没想到 狗屎 -That's what I was afraid of. -why didn't I think of that? Shit.
完蛋了 Sh...we're screwed.
-好了 我们完了 -好了 -Okay? we're screwed. -Okay.
这就是我们相信佛格尔的下场 This is what we get for trusting Fogell, okay?
他肯定是缩卵了 我知道他会缩 He pussied out. I know he pussied out.
你在做什么 what are you making?
在钻洞 只剩最后两周了 操 I'm just drilling holes. The last two weeks. Fuck it.
我们该怎么对女孩们说 难道跟她们说 what do we tell the girls, we couldn't do the one thing...
我们言而无信是因为我们性无能 ...we promised because we're dickless incompetents?
这下我们再也睡不到妞了 就因为佛格尔那块尿布 Now we're never gonna bone because of that used tampon, Fogell.
他怎么能进达特茅斯大学 How'd he get into Dartmouth?
我真搞不懂 他满脑子是屎 I don't get it. He's got shit for brains.
好了 还有什么办法可以搞到酒 All right, how else can we get alcohol?
-哥们 你们好 -佛格尔 你去哪了老兄 -Yo, guys! what's up? -Fogell, where have you been, man?
差点吓得我心脏病发作 You almost gave me a goddamn heart attack.
让我看看 你事到临头缩了吧 Let me see it. Did you pussy out?
没有 我成功了 No, no, man. I got it.
做得象真的一样 你们看 It's flawless. Check it.
夏威夷 Hawaii?
好吧 不错 我猜别人很难查 All right, that's good. It's hard to trace, I guess.
McLovin在俚语中可指时间很短的做爱 也可指某种引人联想的汉堡包
等等 你把名字换成麦克拉温了 wait, you changed your name to McLovin?
-是 -麦克拉温 -Yeah. -McLovin?
什么烂名 你是什么爱尔兰R&B歌星 what kind of a stupid name is that? Are you an Irish R & B singer?
办证的人让我随便挑个名字 They let you pick any name you want when you're there.
所以你就挑了麦克拉温 And you landed on McLovin?
对 不选这个就得选穆罕默德了 Yeah, it was between that or Mohammad.
为什么不选它就得选穆罕默德 why the fuck would it be between that or Mohammad?
普通点的名字不行吗 why not just pick a common name?
穆罕默德是地球上最普通的名字 不信你找本书看看 Mohammad is the most common name on earth. Read a fucking book.
你见过叫穆罕默德的人吗 Have you ever met anyone named Mohammad?
那你见过叫麦克拉温的人吗 Have you ever met anyone named McLovin?
不 所以你就要起这个烂名 No, that's why you picked a dumb fucking name.
-操你 -给我 -Fuck you. -Give me that.
首先 照片里你看起来象个未来的恋童癖 All right. You look like a future pedophile in this picture, number one.
其次 只有姓没有名 就一个麦克拉温 Number two, it doesn't even have a first name. It just says McLovin!
啥 就一个姓 what? One name?
就一个姓 你谁 海豹突击队吗 One name? who are you, Seal?
佛格尔 身份证上说你25岁 Fogell, this ID says you're 25 years old.
写个21不行吗 老兄 why wouldn't you just put 21, man?
塞思 塞思 塞思 听我说 臭脸 Seth, Seth, Seth. Listen up, ass-face.
每天都有许多孩子用假身份证去商店买酒 Every day, hundreds of kids go into the liquor store with their fake IDs...
每个人都说自己21岁 ...and every single one says they're 21.
你们认为镇里有多少21岁的人 How many 21 -year-olds are in this town?
这叫他妈的改变策略好吗 It's called fucking strategy.
我们冷静点 别头脑发热 Let's stay calm, okay? Let's not lose our heads.
这证不错 可以用的 好吗 It's a fine ID. It'll...It's gonna work. It's passable, okay?
这还不算太坏 我是说 全看你的发挥了 佛格尔 This isn't terrible. I mean, it's up to you, Fogell.
别人看了也许会想 这是个用假身份证的小孩 This guy's gonna think, "Here's a kid with a fake ID"...
但也可能想 这人叫麦克拉温 ...or "Here's McLovin,
25岁 夏威夷的器官捐献者 the 25-year-old Hawaiian organ donor."
好吗 所以 你觉得会怎样 Okay? So, what's it gonna be?
我就是麦克拉温 I am McLovin.
不 你不是麦克拉温 从来没有麦克拉温这个人 No, you're not. No one's McLovin. McLovin's never existed...
麦克拉温是一个白痴废物同性恋假名 他妈的 ...because that's a made-up, dumb, fucking fairy-tale name, you fuck!
天哪 老兄 可以用的 给个机会嘛 Jeez, man. It'll work. Give it a chance.
你动了我的 Did you move my...?
我的车呢 where is my car?
我的天 老兄 Oh, my God, man.
我怎么跟你说的 别把车停这儿 what did I say to you? I told you not to park here.
你干吗把车停在教职员停车区 why would you park in the staff parking lot?
闭嘴佛格尔 Shut the fuck up, Fogell.
我是说 你又不是教职员 I mean, because you're not staff.
我知道 佛格尔我知道 I know that, Fagell! I know that!
埃文 现在去你家 Evan, let's go to your house.
等等 你们还来开车接我吗 wait, are you guys still picking me up from work?
回答我好吗 Can you answer me?
哥们 你除了童装就没衣服了吗 Man, don't you have any non-infant clothes?
这还可以 It'll be fine.
为什么不穿一件你去学校穿的衣服 why don't you just wear what you wore to school?
我不能那样穿 I can't do that.
我不想朱尔丝看到我时 我还穿着学校里穿的衣服 I can't let Jules see me in what I wore to school.
这太不合适了 It's completely unbecoming.
越战后没人穿短裤打炮 No one's gotten a handjob in cargo shorts since Nam.
我一定要杀了这些家伙 我不和恐怖分子谈判 I have to kill these guys. You don't negotiate with terrorists.
真的 我们现在应该谈谈这事 Really? Yeah, that's what we should be talking about right now.
为什么你不回家找你自己的衣服 Then why don't you go and get some of your own clothes?
那就蠢到极点了 That's the dumbest thing ever.
我爸妈知道我车被拖走 会打得我满地找牙 My parents will see that my car's been towed and I'll be grounded.
这些该死的恐怖分子 下起仔来跟兔子一样快 These fucking terrorists multiply like bunnies.
我把M16步枪放哪了 where did I leave the M16?
你有大点的衣服吗 难道你只在婴儿服装店买衣服 Do you have any bigger clothes or do you only shop at babyGap?
操 还没 Fuck me. I can't...
好 为什么做出这么个游戏 That's fun. why do they make that?
赢不了的游戏 我还他妈玩 If you can't even win, then why am I fucking playing?
想看下我爸穿的衣服吗 Do you wanna go see what my dad has?
我操 what the fuck?
这什么鬼玩艺 what the hell is that?
这是一件马甲 傻鸟 It's a fucking vest, dumbass.
-我想显得老成一点 -你象木偶皮诺曹 -I'm trying to look older. -You look like Pinocchio.
-只不过是一件马甲嘛 -那里面有很多酒 -It's just a vest. -They got a lot of booze in there.
如果我们现在把酒弄到手 If we get it now,
就可以尽快去晚会见朱尔丝那群妞 we can get to the party faster with Jules' shit.
不行 老兄 我在那打工 他们知道我不到25岁 No way, man. I work there. They know I'm not 25.
没跟你说话呢 鸡鸡嘴 Nobody said anything about you, dick-mouth.
你去会害死我的 You really fucked me on this one.
因此 我决定自己去偷点酒 So now I'm gonna steal the booze.
别这样 我保证你们一会都能拿到酒 Don't do this. I promise you I'll get the liquor later.
迈克?施奈德的身份证可以用 我的也是 Mike Snider's ID always works. So will mine, man.
迈克?施奈德的身份证上 Mike Snider's ID
可不是这么一个蠢名字 明白吗 doesn't have one fucking name on it! Okay?
我以为你们这帮上达特茅斯的聪明人能明白这一点 I thought you Dartmouth guys would be smart enough to understand that.
现在我塞思去把酒搞定 Now Seth's gotta pick up all the pieces.
他不会真干的 别急 He won't do it. Don't worry.
我忘了说 我妈说我们可以拿地下室的那台电视 I forgot to tell you, my mom said we can have the TV from the basement...
闭嘴 他会听到我们说话的 Shut the fuck up, he's gonna hear you.
安静 等他走了再说 Just be quiet. wait until he goes away.
你还没告诉他我们要做室友吗 You still haven't told him that we're rooming together?
佛格尔 闭嘴 Fogell, shut the fuck up.
把马甲脱了 你看着象阿拉丁 And take off your vest. You look like Aladdin.
你说得对 Okay. You got it.
但愿小猪崽能跑 Hope piggy can run.
你多大了 How old are you?
22岁 Twenty-two.
你一看就是 一共80元 You certainly are. That'll be 80 dollars.
好的 Okay.
非常感谢 这张够了吗 Thank you kindly. will that do?
当然了 谢谢 塞思 Certainly will. Thank you, Seth.
谢谢 Hey, thank you.
您的包掉了 太太 You dropped your purse, ma'am.
需要我帮忙吗 would you like some help?
那再好不过了 年轻人 well, that would be lovely, young man.
你想让我帮你买酒吗 would you like me to buy you alcohol?
那也再好不过了 That would be lovely.
-好好享受晚年生活 -我会的 -Enjoy your remaining years. -I will.
-好好去操朱尔丝 -我会的 -Enjoy fucking Jules. -I will.
别拿 孩子 Don't do it, kid.
我别无选择 I never had a choice.
你打死了老太太 You fucking killed her!
不 No!
偷来的酒呢 被你藏在屁眼里了 where's all the stolen liquor? Did you hide it up your butt?
滚蛋我本来想拿的 但是有人惊动了保安 Piss off! I was gonna do it, but there was a security breach.
这下根本干不成了 You never would've done it.
我们去另外一家 看你的蠢蛋身份证是怎么被识破的 Let's go to a liquor store and watch your stupid ID get rejected.
等等 我得先把马甲放好 wait, I'm gonna go put my vest back in my locker.
好了 就这儿了 All right. Here we are. This is it.
-准备好了吗 -好了 -You ready? Yeah? -Yeah.
-钱和清单给你 -找零是你的 -Here's the money and the list. -Change is yours. Keep the change.
-谢谢 清单有什么用 -是要买的酒 -Thank you. what's the list for? -The alcohol.
我们要为整个派对买酒好吗 we're gonna get alcohol for the whole party, okay?
我们花了很长时间写这张清单 所以别出错了 we put a lot of time into this list, so don't fuck it up.
都在上面 It's perfect.
茴香酒 波旁酒 加香朗姆酒 金箔伏特加酒 Ouzo, bourbon, spiced rum, Goldslick... .
金箔伏特加酒是给贝卡买的 别忘了 Goldslick Vodka. That's for Becca. Don't forget that.
紫红伏特加酒 苏格兰威士忌 Raspberry vodka, Scotch... .
还有凯尔杀手柠檬水 6瓶一包的 And Kyle's Killer Lemonade. A six-pack.
这太多了 我不知道能不能把这么多都带出来 This is a lot. I don't know if I can get away with all this.
带多带少又有什么区别 what difference does it make?
我也不知道 我真的很紧张 I don't know, man. I'm, like, really nervous.
-你还好吗 -不 我该穿那件背心的 -Are you okay? -No, man. I should have wore the vest.
-冷静 -你他妈的怎么了 -Calm down. -what the fuck are you doing?
我进去后他们不卖我怎么办 what if I go in and they turn me down, man?
那我们就还是像现在这样喽 Then we're in the same place we're in now.
-谁会注意呢 -太丢人了 -who cares? -It's fucking humiliating!
大家都看我被赶出来 Everybody sees them kicking me out.
他们让我把酒放回去怎么办 我才不干呢 what if they make me put the liquor back? I can't do that.
这事要比你更重要 佛格尔 This whole thing is bigger than you, Fogell!
给我长出蛋蛋来 大胆的进去买酒就是了 So grow a pair of nuts and fucking walk in there and buy the alcohol!
如果我不干呢 塞思 你要怎么样 what if I don't feel like it anymore, Seth? what?
那我就宰了你 好不 Then I'll fucking kill you, okay?
我找把刀把你捅个透心凉 I'll stab you through your fucking heart.
别这样 哥们 你行的 来嘛 No, you can do this, man. Come on.
把我杀了你也拿不到酒 只有我才有假身份证 Killing me won't get you alcohol. I'm the one with the fake ID.
那我就把你的白痴脸皮撕下来 Then I'll cut your dumb fucking face off...
粘在我的脸上 用你的证去买酒 ...throw it over mine and get your ID and buy it my fucking self!
真的吗 你没有我那么稳重的手 Oh, really? You don't have the technology or the steady hands...
根本做不到 所以 哈 ...to pull off a procedure like that, so ha!
闭嘴吧 Peace.
佛格尔 冷静些 进去然后出来 Fogell, just be cool, man. Get in and get out.
你就是英雄 You're the hero.
对不起 Sorry.
21岁以下严禁购买
有什么问题吗 先生 Is there a problem here, sir?
不 什么问题都没 No. No problem whatsoever.
先生 地上是你弄的吗 Sir, did you do this? On the floor?
不是 No.
你应该把这里擦干净 And you should really clean this up.
不然会伤到人 Someone could really hurt themselves.
我的命真苦 Fuck my life.
我们完蛋了 我们完蛋了 we're so fucked. we're so fucked.
我们的计划上街后就出了问题 This plan's been fucked since Jump Street.
好了 冷静 冷静好吗 Okay, just calm down. Just calm down, all right?
你今晚带避孕套吗 Hey, so did you bring a condom for tonight?
你带了 You brought a condom with you?
是 我觉得应该带 你知道 Yeah. I figured I might as well, you know?
我还带了一瓶杀精子润滑油 I brought a little bottle of spermicidal lube too.
我刚才说晚上去打炮 你还嘲笑我 You laughed in my face when I said I'd be having sex tonight.
但你还是需要准备 That doesn't mean you shouldn't always be prepared.
-你连避孕套都没带吗 -没有 -You didn't even bring a condom? -No.
不 埃文 计划里没这个 No, Evan, that wasn't part of the plan.
你这样做也不先问问我 You did this without consulting with me.
我们根本没讨论过什么计划 你却老说我们有计划 we've never discussed, like, any plan, but you keep saying we have a plan.
我有个大概的计划 你知道吗 I had, like, a general outline. You know?
我打算跟她口交 几个小时吧 I was gonna go down on her for, like, several hours, okay?
她喜欢那样 她会感动的 她会爽得昏过去的 She would love that. She'd be smitten. She'd go out with that.
或者我先不脱裤子 在她的腿上磨个痛快 Or I dry hump the shit out of her leg.
我就是不明白 带一个避孕套有什么坏处 well, I just...I don't see the harm in bringing one little condom.
还有一瓶杀精润滑油 And one little bottle of spermicidal lube?
是 一瓶杀精润滑油 Yeah, one little bottle of spermicidal lube.
-埃文 那是神经病用的 -不 不是 -Evan, that's psycho shit, man. -No, it's not.
那是变态杀人魔用的 That's, like, Charles Manson shit.
什么 你认为那瓶油会让贝卡爽吗 what, do you think Becca's gonna be psyched that you brought lube?
谢谢你给我的小穴带来那么好的东西 "Oh, Evan. Thank you for bringing that lube for my pussy.
要是你不在我的小穴里倒那么大一瓶油 I never would've been able to handle your fucking 4-inch dick...
我永远也不可能应付你那4英寸长的鸡巴 ...inside my pussy without that gigantic bottle of lube."
-好了 够了 -妈的 -Okay, that's...That's enough. -Fuck.
他们都是18岁的少女 又不是干瘪的老太太 These girls are 18, they're not dried-up old ladies.
-她们很好办 -好 我不带润滑油 -They're good to go. -Then I won't bring the lube.
别把我说得像坏人一样好吗 我认为这东西很棒的 Don't make me feel like that. I thought it was cool.
-这种不错 -我看看 -This is a nice kind. -Let me see that for a second.
-给人印象深刻 -很不错 -An impressive kind. -It is kind of cool.
-好 -去他妈的 润滑油 -That's cool. -Fucking dumbass. Lube?
-有意思 -你带润滑油 -That's funny. -You brought lube?
掉地上破了 我不捡了 你欠我6元 You owe me 6 bucks because I'm not walking over to get it and it exploded.
你好 明迪 Hello, Mindy.
我喜欢这玩意 几年了一直喝 I love that stuff. Been drinking it for years.
我听说最近他们决定在里面多加些啤酒花 You know, I heard they recently decided to add more hops to it.
好 Okay.
我要你出示证件 I'm gonna need to see some identification.
真的 Really?
让我感到又年轻了 给你 Makes me feel young again. There you go.
妈呀 是凯丽?哈钦斯 Oh, shit, it's Cary Hutchins.
她的奶子是我看过最大的 She had the biggest tits I've ever seen.
我听说她做过缩胸整形术 I heard she got breast-reduction surgery.
什么 让奶子变小 what? Making your tits smaller?
这好比是上帝给你一份厚礼 你却回敬他一记耳光 That's like slapping God for giving you a gorgeous gift.
她的后背有问题 She had back problems, man.
再说他们不光缩胸 还对胸部塑形 And it's not just making them smaller. They completely reshape them.
让胸部更柔软匀称 They make them more supple and symmetrical.
我得看看他们搞了些什么把戏 I gotta catch a glimpse of these warlocks.
我们快上 Let's make a move.
-她转弯了 -快 -She's going around the corner. -Come on!
好了 一共96.59元 Okay. Your total is 96.59.
怎么会这样 I don't believe it!
你还好吗 先生 Are you okay, mister?
刚才是怎么回事 what the shit was that?
怎么会这样 怎么会这样 I don't believe it. I don't believe it.
怎么会这样 I don't believe it.
我也不好说 我认为她以前更漂亮 I don't know, man. I think she looked better before.
但现在她可以轻松慢跑 But now that she can jog comfortably,
体形也保持得非常好 she's in the best shape she's ever...
怎么了 那是什么 what is this? what's that?
天 Oh, man.
糟糕 他们把佛格尔抓住了 Holy shit, they busted Fogell.
怎么会这样 埃文 该死的 How did this happen, Evan? Fuck, man!
他爸会把他宰了 His dad's gonna fucking kill him.
听我说 好吗 Look, okay?
他袭击了这名顾客 拿了钱 然后跑掉了 He assaulted the customer, grabbed the cash and ran out.
那么 So... .
-是多 -是多 是多 -How...? -How...? How...? How...?
我是说 高度方面 Say when, height-wise.
我从上面开始比划 觉得差不多了就说 I'm gonna start up here, tell me when.
-我从下面开始 -你说 -I'll start on the bottom and...-when.
不管怎样 他就是5英尺10英寸 whatever 5'10" is, he was 5'10".
人种方面呢 我是说 Ethnically, I mean, did...what...?
我是说 他是 他长得象我们吗 还是 I mean, was he...? was he like us, or...?
女人 A woman?
-女性 -不是 -Female? -No.
-你是想问这个 -不是 他是 -Is that what you're asking? -No, no. was he...?
-比如 -什么 什么 -Like... . -what? what?
-非洲人 -非 非 -African? -Af...Af...
-他是非洲人吗 -非洲人 -was he African? -African.
不 他是美国人 就象你们一样 No. He was American, and he was like you.
他长得就象你们 He looked just like you.
那么他是犹太人 好的 犹太人 He was Jewish. Okay, Jew.
-犹太人做这种案子有点奇怪 -他们是很守法的 -It's an odd crime for a Jew. -They're pretty docile.
好 我们要找一位非洲犹太人 头戴兜帽 Okay, so we have an African Jew wearing a hoodie.
不 不是 我不是这么说的 No, you don't. No. That's not what I said.
你听见我这么说吗 Is that what you heard me say?
我说他看起来象你们 你们看起来象非洲犹太人吗 I said he looked like you. Do you look like an African Jew?
-不 我看起来象个警察 -是的 -No, I look like a cop. -Yeah.
他是白种人 He was Caucasian.
-他是白种人 -好吧 -Caucasian. -All right.
-好 -说得好 -Okay. -well, touch?
长得有点象艾米纳姆 这样说可以了吗 Kind of looked like Eminem. Does that help you?
-M&M -M&M糖豆 -An M&M. -An M&M.
-所以他是圆的 -我是说痞子阿姆 艾米纳姆 -So he was circular...? -Marshall Mathers. Eminem?
-说唱歌手 艾米纳姆 -他长得象这样 -The rapper, Eminem. -Did he look like this?
-画画我是外行 我 -这看起来有点象M&M -I'm an amateur. I kind of...-That looks like an M&M.
脸再长点 鼻子再大点 Longer face? Bigger nose?
你是说他的嘴还要再大点 would you say his mouth was wider?
张开的 一条缝 Open? A gap?
这附近还有其他巡逻警车提供援助吗 Is there another squad car in the area that could be of further assistance?
我好象什么帮助也没得到 I don't seem to be getting any.
好吧 我再复述一遍 这个家伙到底干了什么 Okay, so just walk me through again what this guy did.
他 他进来 手里拿着 He...He...He came in, he's wielding...
拿着什么家伙 打中了这位穿宽松裤子的小先生 He's wielding something. He hits this small gentleman in the slacks.
然后他扑向你 摸你 对你非礼 And then he jumps over you, he feels you up, violates you.
-我没那么说 -是 他没有非礼你 -I did not say that. -No, he doesn't.
听着 我不说了 我都告诉你了 我明天还要考试 Look, I can't do this. I told you already, I have an exam tomorrow.
你们懂吗 我要参加该死的兽医考试 Can you understand that? I have a goddamn veterinary exam!
该死 真是见鬼了 Goddamn it. This is bullshit.
真是见鬼了 不说了 明天得去考试 This is some bullshit. I got an exam tomorrow. Forget this.
显然某人明天要考试了 well, apparently someone has an exam.
你怎么知道的 How'd you know?
你 被打的那位 You. You're the one that got punched?
-是的 -好吧 -Yeah. -Okay.
按顺序来 你姓什么 First things first. what is your name?
我的姓 My name?
我姓麦 麦克 麦克拉温 It's M...McLov...McLovin.
麦克拉温 McLovin?
是的 Yeah.
那么 你叫什么 Now, what's your first name?
什么 what?
-你的名字 -我的名字 -Your first name? -My first name?
从技术角度讲 我没有名字 所以别管我叫什么 Technically I don't have a first name, so don't worry about my first name.
但我们是警察 But we're the police.
我们只想搞清楚这件事 we just wanna get the story straight.
-来吧 -该死的 -Come on. -Fuck, man.
-来吧 -他肯定很害怕 -Come on! -He must be so afraid.
我不相信 我不相信会有这种事情 I don't believe this bullshit. I can't believe this is happening!
我不知道干这种事也会被警察抓 我们只想拿到酒 I didn't know you could get arrested for this shit. we need that liquor.
-他们会把他带到市警局吗 -去他的佛格尔 -Are they gonna take him downtown? -Fuck Fogell.
他被捕了 好吗 我们得靠自己了 He got arrested, okay? we're on our own.
我们得想个新办法去弄酒 we need a new way to get liq...
操钱操 你能搞到多少钱 Fuck! The money, man! Fuck! How much money can you get?
你为什么还说钱 佛格尔怎么办 why are you talking about money? what about Fogell?
已经没关系了 朱尔丝的100元钱没了 That doesn't matter anymore. I lost a hundred dollars of Jules' money.
难道要我们帮他越狱 把锉刀藏在蛋糕里送进去 Are we gonna bust him out of jail? Bake a cake with a fucking file in it?
去他妈的佛格尔 Fuck Fogell.
我们得想个新办法去搞酒 简直不可能 we need a new way to get liquor, which is fucking impossible.
好吧 你得冷静 我们先得好好想想 All right, you need to calm down. we need to think for a second.
我们需要想办法 we need to think this out.
去他妈的想办法 我们需要行动 Fuck thinking, we need to act!
塞思 Seth!
-他妈的怎么了 -起来 慢点 -what the fuck happened? -Just...Just get up. Slowly.
你还好吗 没事吧 You all right? You okay?
非常抱歉 非常抱歉 I am so sorry, man. I am so sorry.
我根本没有看到你 哥们 你没事吧 I didn't even effing see you at all, man. Are you okay?
所以 你就叫麦克拉温 So it's just McLovin?
是的 Yeah.
-那很屌 -确实很屌 -That's badass. -That is badass.
-真的很酷 -很屌的名字 -Really cool. -A badass name.
-现在很多人起怪名 -青尼 杀鸡拉 -Lot of people with weird names. -Chingy. Shakira.
雷夫 帕克四 Rafe. Pax.
我们抓了个人妖 他的合法使用名叫 操 we arrested a man-lady who was legally named "Fuck."
我想他是越南人 应该是PH开头的 Think he was Vietnamese, it was with a P-H.
不过看到那证件我还是吓一跳 But it's still shocking to see on a license.
-好吧 你多大年纪 麦克拉温 -年纪足够大 -Okay, and how old are you, McLovin? -Old enough.
足够大什么 Old enough for what?
够参加派对 To party.
我能看你的身份证吗 Can I see your ID?
好的 我想我带了 Yeah, I think I have it.
-你是器官捐赠者 -什么 -You're an organ donor. -what?
我不想那样 但我太太却坚持 I didn't wanna, but my wife insisted.
我老是拿这个笑话他 I give him shit for it too. All the time.
我说 女人就是这样 即使你死了 I say, "It's just like a woman. Even after you're dead...
她们也要把你的心挖出来 ...they wanna tear your heart out." -They wanna tear your... .
我每个星期说一次 还是觉得很好玩 I say it weekly and it's still funny.
我一听就笑 It still makes me laugh.
-真的很逗 -给你 -Really funny. -There you go.
对不起 我真的说不出什么 I'm sorry, guys. I don't really have any information.
他打了我 他长什么样我也没看见 He just hit me, and I didn't see what he looked like.
-我不知道能不能帮到你们 -你有急事吗 -I don't know if I can help you. -You in a hurry?
是的 我得赶上那辆公车 Yeah, kind of had to catch that bus.
-你去哪 -在13大道和格兰维尔路口附近 -where were you headed? -Near 13th and Granville.
-我们可以带你去 -路上你再告诉我们更多信息 -we can take you there. -Get your information on the way.
-为什么要浪费2元车费 -我们带你去 没问题的 -why waste 2 bucks? -we'll take you. No problem.
别报警 哥们 我们可以私了的 是吗 Please don't report me, man. we can figure this out, right?
我为什么不报警 你撞了我 why the fuck wouldn't I report you? You just hit me.
因为你让我做什么都行 Because I'll do anything.
求你了 好吗 什么都行 说实话 Please, okay? Anything. Like, literally...
他妈什么都行 ...fucking anything.
你说 只要你说出来 Name anything. Name it. Name it.
好吗 哥们 All right, look. Hey, man. All right.
听我说 你可以相信我 好吗 Listen, you can trust me, okay?
我实话跟你说吧 I'm gonna be totally honest with you.
我犯了一桩非暴力的罪名 现在是保释期间 I have a warrant out for a totally nonviolent crime.
好吗 行行好吧 哥们 Okay? There. Mercy Street, guys.
我也老实对你说吧 I'll be honest with you for a second.
你最好给我们一大笔钱或一大箱酒 You better get us a shitload of cash or a shitload of alcohol...
否则你就他妈去坐牢 ...or you're going to fucking prison.
你在说什么 你不必 what are you doing, man? You don't need to...
不 别这样 先等一下 No, let's not...Let's hang on a second here.
-拿出来 -好的 -Cough it up. -Fine.
我们是不是应该公事公办呢 Don't know if we should be doing anything official.
我们合作吧 也就是做笔交易 给你 we're working together. It's like Let's Make a Deal. Here we go.
7块钱 Seven bucks?
你认真的吗 这不够 你是6岁小孩吗 Are you fucking serious? This isn't enough. what are you, a 6-year-old?
都给你了 都给你了 It's all I have, man. It's all I have.
你最好快点再想想 You better think of something quickly.
我的背 警察 我的背 My back! My back. Cops, my back.
不 不 等等 别这样 -No, no, no. wait, don't do that.
好吧 听着 我能给你弄酒 All right, listen. I can get you alcohol.
我现在要去个派对 哥们 明白吗 I'm going over to this party right now, bro. Okay?
那有酒 还有美女 酒和美女加在一起就是 It's got booze, it's got girls. Booze and girls equals... .
我不知道怎么说 你知道吗 I don't know. Do you? I don't know. Do you?
-我想你们知道是什么 -是的 我们当然知道 -I think you do. Do you? -Yes. That's a definite yes.
当然是的 Definite yes, then.
-稍等一下 我跟他谈谈 -站那别动 -Give me one sec to talk to him. -Stay right here.
好的 做你们该做的 想好 我就在车边等 Yeah, yeah. Do what you gotta do. Mix it over. I'll be over by the car.
谈个明白 我是好人 Just talk it out. Hey, I'm a nice guy.
-来吧 不错 -你在想什么 -Come on, it's great. -what are you thinking?
-你想干什么 -什么 -what are you doing? -what?
朱尔丝的钱没了 佛格尔死翘翘了 I lost Jules' money, Fogell's dead to us now...
我们别无选择 走吧 ...we don't have any choice. Let's go.
我觉得这样不好 这家伙看着让人不舒服 你看他 I don't like this idea. This guy's fucking creepy, man. Look at him.
什么 他看起来就是个普通人 普通人就是这个样子 what? He looks like a guy. That's what guys look like.
-你怎么了 -你们认识一个叫杰米的人吗 -what is your problem? -You guys know a guy named Jimmy?
你长得象他弟弟 You totally look like his brother.
你长得象他弟弟 哥们 You totally look like his brother, man.
真的 You do.
你答应了贝卡给她带酒 You promised Becca you'd get her alcohol.
你不带 她今晚过得就跟屎一样 If you don't, she's gonna have a shitty night.
我就说这么多 来吧 That's all I'm saying. Come on.
说好了吗 快走 慢走 准备走了吗 we bingo, bango, ready to go, go?
-祝你明天考试成功 -祝你考试成功 -Good luck on your exam tomorrow. -Good luck on your exam.
-你不想搭公共汽车的 -公共汽车多数有股尿味 -You don't wanna ride the bus. -Buses smell like piss, generally.
-知道为什么吗 -为什么 -You know why? -why?
因为人们在车上撒尿 People piss on them.
你们兄弟俩可以来一个和我坐一起 You know, one of you bros could've come up and sat up with me.
-我们坐后面很好 -后面就行 -we're fine back here. -Back's fine.
后面更安全 Safe in the back seat.
-天 -怎么了 -Oh, my God. -what's up?
-你好 朱尔丝 -谁 和谁在通话 -Hey, Jules. -who is it? who's on the phone?
塞思 你好 你在哪 Seth. Hey, where are you?
我在出租车上 正要去买酒 I'm in a cab right now, on the way to a liquor store.
好的 我快等不及了 Good. I can't wait for you to get here.
那么 我希望你的朋友们都准备好疯狂一下了 well, I hope your friends are ready to get fucked up.
我相信她们会的 I'm sure they will be.
-好的 我们一会儿见 -好的 -Okay, I'll see you soon. -Peace.
太棒了 Oh, man! Dude, this is crazy.
她打过来 说 我快等不及了 She called, she said, "I can't wait for you to get there."
听起来 她很想要你 哥们 不错 That sounds like she fully wants it, man! Oh, yeah!
谁给她呢 你 肯定是你 who's gonna give it to her, huh, my man? You, that's who.
老弟 Man.
你们在MySpace上有主页吗 You guys on MySpace, or...?
长官 如果你们要问的话 我可以回答问题了 Officers? I can answer those questions now if you want me to.
我们知道要点了 你在买啤酒 一个家伙给你一拳 we get the gist of it. You were buying beer, some guys punched you.
别想这个了 我们找不到他的 Don't worry about it. we're not gonna find them.
-结案了 -但就一个 -Case closed. -But it was only...
-但就一个人 -一个人 天 -But it was only one guy. -Only one guy? Shit.
这么大地方怎么去找一个人 How am I supposed to find one guy?
这工作不是象CSI里演的那样 This job really isn't how, you know, shows like CSI make it out to be.
我刚入行时还以为罪犯都会留下象精液之类的东西 when I first joined the force, I assumed there was semen on everything...
警方那应该有个精子数据库 ...and there was some, like, huge semen database...
所有坏蛋的精子都在里面 ...that had every bad guy's semen in it.
其实不是 没有那种东西 There isn't. That doesn't exist.
我睡觉时常常梦见 I often go to sleep and dream of waking up in a world where...
-满世界都是精液 -谁不想呢 ...everything's covered in semen. -I mean, who doesn't?
那样就好了 就象今天的案子一样 Lt'd be nice. Like that crime scene today.
如果那人射精后再打你 If the man had ejaculated and then punched you...
我们就会花点力气去抓他 ...we'd have a shot at catching him.
-但现在没办法 -就是给你一拳 没精液 -No way. -Just punched in the face, no semen.
-没精液 -生活就是这样 -No semen. -Story of my life.
麦克尔斯当警察6个月了 Michaels here, he's six months in.
他还很嫩 但是有他警力更强大了 He's young, but the Force is strong with this one.
好好学吧 年轻的绝地学徒 Learning you are, young padawan.
非常感谢 Thank you very much.
-我模仿的是犹达大师 -你知道犹达是谁吗 -That's Yoda. -Are you familiar with Yoda?
《克隆人的进攻》里的角色 From Attack of the Clones?
东24街和蒙哥马利路口 we have a 245 at East 24 and Montgomery,
贝利烤肉酒吧有人手持致命武器行凶 Bailey's Bar and Grill.
98号车马上到 Car 98 on it.
看到了吗 麦克尔斯 报警电话通常从酒吧打来 See, Michaels, you always take a call at a bar because...
因为无论好坏 你都能在那儿喝点酒 ...better or worse, you get a beer out of it.
真不错 Pretty sweet, huh?
-真的呢 说得好 -那么麦克拉温 -True that. Amazing thinking. -Hey, McLovin.
贝利店发生状况 完事后我们再让你下车好吗 we got a situation at Bailey's, so we'll drop you off after, all right?
其实 我得去个地方 Actually, I kind of have to be somewhere...
-好 坐好了 -目标 贝利店 -Sweet. Sit tight. -Set course for Bailey's, warp 10.
出发 Engage.
欢迎来到闪电堂 welcome to the Thunderdome.
老哥 你肯定我们和你一起没事吗 Hey, man, are you sure it's cool that we're here with you?
肯定没事的 Oh, definitely, man.
我是这儿主人最好的朋友 I'm essentially best friends with the guy...
我的一群哥们也会来的 ...so a bunch of my buds are coming.
我们可以把裤子脱光了爽一爽 开个玩笑罢了 we're gonna rock out with our cocks out. Just kidding.
-我们去爽吧 -走吧 -we are gonna rock out. -Just go, just go.
你好吗 你好吗 what's up? what's up? what's up?
你好 你好 伙计们 Hello, hello. Hey, guys.
要是聪明点就不该来这 This is something a smart person wouldn't do.
放松就好 随便点 尽量装得老成 Look, just act cool and act casual, and try and look old.
我们拿到酒就走人 好吗 we'll get the booze and get the fuck out of here, okay?
派对在哪 Hey, where the party at? Right.
-倒好了吗 伙计 -来了 -You got those shots, bro? -It's coming.
来吧 让我们狂欢吧 Come on, let's party.
来 干了它 Come on. Do it up.
我们应该拿一桶然后开溜 we should grab one of these buckets and get out.
你疯了吗 我们怎么抱着桶出去 You out of your mind? How are we gonna get a fucking bucket out?
老哥 Hey, man.
你他妈在干什么 what the fuck do you think you're doing?
-什么 没什么 -你在用我的电话 -what are you...? what? Nothing. -You using my phone?
-你以为你在干什么 -挂了 没什么 -what do you think you're doing? -Hang up. Nothing.
怎么 怎么了 马克 what...what...what's wrong, Mark?
我没请你来 滚出去 You weren't invited. Get the fuck out of here.
别这样 马克 冷静好吗 Come on, Mark. It's cool, man.
你还他妈用我的电话 You using my fucking phone?
你在叫你的混蛋朋友来吗 You calling your fucking friends again?
叫你的狐朋狗友来 You calling your friends, your fantastic friends?
不 我是说我要 No. I mean, yes. But I mean I'll...
好了 老哥 别这样 马克 求你 Come on, man, just relax. Mark, please.
滚出去 离开我的房子 Get the fuck out of here. The fuck out of my house.
从我家里滚出去 Get the fuck out of my house.
-这是我的家 -别这么横 老哥 -This is my house. -Don't be such a dick, man!
这是搞什么 what the fuck?
马克 你真的要这样吗 Mark! You really wanna do this, man?
我们真的要这样做吗 Here we go. we're really gonna do this?
说对了 狗娘养的 That's right, motherfucker.
来呀 婊子 起来 Come on, pussy. Get up, dude.
该死的 对不起 兄弟 Oh, shit. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro. I'm sorry, bro.
老虎出笼会咬人的 兄弟 Tiger got out of the cage, man.
对不起 别这样好吗 马克 All right? I'm sorry. Come on, Mark.
让我们冷静点 大家都冷静点 Let's just chill. Everyone just chill out.
讲和吧 兄弟 Truce, man.
正中要害 Right in the nads!
这下是为了你的朋友 来 再吃一下 This is for your friends. Here, have another one.
操 操 操 天哪 我们该怎么办 Shit. Oh, shit, oh, shit, oh, shit. Oh, my God. what do we do?
-快点 快点 -挑一条路 -Come on. Come on. -Choose one.
-我们可以从后门溜出去 -等等 先把这事干了 -we can slip out the back, man. -Come on. Let's hurry up and do this.
你疯了吗 想和那家伙一样下场 Are you crazy, man? wanna end up like that guy?
我可不想 我还想留着我的蛋蛋 Not me. I need my nuts, man,
有很多用得着的地方 for a lot of things.
-我们需要酒 -是你需要 我不需要 -we need liquor. -You need it. I don't.
我要把我的心里话告诉贝卡 也许她会和我好 I'm gonna tell Becca how I feel. Maybe she'll get with me.
我可不想把她灌糊涂 I'm not gonna get her drunk out of her mind.
真的吗 那怎么从来没见你个小逼样下手呢 Oh, really? Then how come you never made a move, you pussy?
因为我尊重她 塞思 我不想用不道德的手段对付她 Because I respect her, Seth. I'm not gonna put unfair pressure on her.
我看不出这样做有什么问题 咱们还是干吧 I don't see a problem. Let's just do it.
我们走吧 好不好 we're leaving, okay?
这些人会杀了我们的 你想为了酒送命 You wanna get killed for liquor?
不想 可我愿意为了肏逼送命 毫无疑问 No, but I would get killed for pussy, no questions asked.
-去你的吧 -你打算丢下我 -Fuck this, man. -You're just gonna bail on me?
-我走了 -他妈的贱人 -I'm going. -Fucking bitch.
让一让 朋友 Move, people.
-谢谢 -我爱这地方 -Thank you. -Oh, I love this place.
这里到底出什么事了 what the hell is going on in there?
要是枪战开始 你就趴到地上 If the bullets start flying, hit the deck.
你到处撒尿 狗娘养的 You pissed everywhere, you son of a bitch!
到处 你才没看见我撒在哪儿呢 Everywhere? You didn't see me pissing anywhere.
我不知道你在说什么 I don't know what you're talking about.
把你的脑浆砸出来 Take your nuts out of your shells!
麦克尔斯 我在后面掩护你 Michaels, I got your back.
你给这醉鬼瞧瞧我们的厉害吧 why don't you show this rummy how we roll?
收到 10-4.
劳驾 先生 马上停止您现在的行为 Excuse me, sir. Stop what you are doing at once.
-条子来了 -拒捕 拒捕 -Blue guys! -Resisting. Resisting!
-斯雷特 -麦克尔斯 -Slater! -Michaels!
大家保持镇静 Everybody stay calm.
-大家保持镇静 -他妈的别挡道 -Everybody stay calm. -Get the fuck out of my way!
保持镇静我操 Stay calm! Fuck!
-我该朝他开枪吗 -不 不 不 -Should I shoot him? -No, no, no!
-不 -制止他 麦克拉温 -No! -Stop him, McLovin!
麦克拉温 制止他 上 上 上 McLovin, stop him! Do it, do it, do it, do it!
-请你住手 你这该死的叫花子 -怎么搞得 Please stop it, you fucking bum. what the fuck?
麦克拉温 漂亮 McLovin! Nice!
他直冲着我来 我就把他放倒了 He just came at me. I took him down.
我要给你买杯啤酒 麦克拉温 I'm buying you a beer, McLovin.
我也要给你买一杯 I'm buying you one too.
记下来 对付人渣就该这么干 Take note. That's how you take down a motherfucker.
没错 That's right.
麦克拉温当家 McLovin in the fucking house!
你跳得真够劲 Hey. You dance hot.
谢谢 Thank you.
好 好 我们 我们来吧 Okay, okay. Here we...Here we go.
-喂 -埃文 我是贝卡 -Hello? -Evan, it's Becca.
贝卡 你好 Oh, Becca. Hi.
喂 你好 喂 贝卡 Hey. Hello. Hey. Becca.
-贝卡 -埃文 你听得见我说话吗 -Becca...-Evan, can you hear me?
-喂 什么 -你听得见 什么破玩艺 -Hello? what? -Can you hear...? Piece of shit!
那家伙卖给我的是什么破手机 Guy sells me a piece of shit fucking phone.
-贝卡 -我是贝卡 -Becca? -It's Becca.
我他妈的不管到哪儿都只有一格信号 I get one bar everywhere I fucking go.
-他在说啥 -妈了个逼的 -what is he saying? -Fucking asshole.
-我想 -怎么回事 -I think...-what happened?
狗婊子养的手机公司 Son-of-a-fucking-bitch phone company.
-什么 真粗鲁 喂 -操 你个烂货 -what? It's rude. Hello? -Fuck. You suck.
破手机 垃圾 Bullshit phone. Piece of shit.
我非把你抽到稀巴烂不可 I swear I'll bitchslap you so fucking hard.
-啥 -贝 -what? -Bec...?
谢谢 Thanks.
真他妈的疯了 This is fucking crazy.
瞧瞧卡车上掉下来的是什么 Hey. Look what fell out of the truck!
你的屁玩意还真多 You're full of shit.
对 我知道 Yeah, I know.
哥们 哥们 我们要爽翻了 Dude. Dude. we're so gonna get fucked up.
好的 All right.
那是什么 what is that?
我不知道 什么 I don't know. what?
你裤子上那一滩东西 白痴 那是什么 That fucking stain on your pants, idiot. what is that?
-老兄 你在说什么 -哥们 -what are you talking about, man? -Dude.
-这是血吗 -这到底是什么 -Is that blood? -what the fuck is that?
-你出血了 -我又没中刀啥的 -Are you bleeding? -I'm not cut or anything.
-我干吗要出血 -这他妈的还真是血 -why would I be bleeding? -It's fucking blood, man.
你刚才在里面和什么妞一起跳舞吧 were you dancing with some chick in there?
-对 怎么 -这是血 -Yeah, so? -It's blood.
-哥们 这可不好玩 -这是血 哥们 -Dude, that's not funny. -It's blood, dude.
可是我怎么会出血 我到底为什么出 But why would I be bleeding? why the fuck would I be bl...?
为什么会有血 Dude, why would there be bl...?
操 天哪 Oh, fuck. Oh, my God.
操 我他妈要吐了 Oh, shit. I'm gonna fucking throw up.
我腿上是月经血 Someone perioded on my fucking leg?
-好家伙 -我他妈该怎么办 -Oh, shit. -what the fuck do I do?
这种事我一辈子都没见过 I've never before seen that in my life!
这太恶心了 This is so disgusting.
-是 -我要叫比尔来 -Yes, it is. -I'm gonna go get Bill.
-该让他来看看 -操 对 -He's gotta check this shit out. -Fuck, yeah.
别 谁是比尔 别告诉比尔 比尔跟这事没关系 No. who's Bill? Don't tell Bill! Bill has nothing to do with this!
冷静点 让我拍张照 很快的 Hey, calm down. Let me get a picture of that real quick.
不 你别拍照 No, you can't have a picture!
-哥们 别走 -比尔比尔你瞧 -Dude, stop! -Bill, Bill! Check it out!
这孩子的裤子沾了月经血 This kid's got period blood on his slacks.
这是红葡萄酒 你们没喝到的 It's merlot. That's what you don't get.
帕特这个傻逼的裤子上沾了月经血 Hey, Pat! This jerk-off's got period blood on his pants!
-拜托 别笑了 -天哪 老兄 让我看看 -Please stop. -God, man, let me see.
天哪 男人长B了 Oh, my God, that's a fucking man-gina, man.
你要卫生棉条吗 我可以 Do you need a tampon? I could...
等等 等等 我有一个我有一个 wait, wait. I have one! I have one!
是吗 我不知道 Yeah, right? I don't know.
我得把这东西洗掉 这是水管吗 I gotta wash this off. Is this the line?
你看它像什么 what does it look like?
我是傻逼 行了吧 Fuck me, right?
对 我是麦克拉温 我要买一些 "Yeah, I'm McLovin. I'd like to buy some..."
好家伙 Shit.
-倒回去 倒回去 -倒回去 耶 -Rewind, rewind. -Rewind it. Yeah!
真带劲 咱们再看一遍 So hot. Let's see it again.
-你的人都飞起来了 -真是好家伙 -Your legs lifted off the ground. -That is bona fide badass, man.
你该留着这带子 麦克拉温 真是好家伙 You gotta keep that tape, McLovin. It is badass.
-真的呢 -真的 -It really is. -Really?
你们不是要拿它当证据吗 well, don't you guys, like, need it for, like, evidence or...?
它唯一能证明的就是你可以被人一拳打飞 The only thing that's evidence of is you can take a hit like a champ.
说真的 拿着吧 Seriously. Take that.
我们要不要找些女人 给她们看看这带子 Are there any ladies we'd like to show this tape to?
不 不要在酒吧泡妞 我是认真的 No. You don't wanna meet a chick in a bar, man. Seriously.
那是我人生的转折点 不过我后来才意识到 That was a turning point in my life, when I realized that.
你该去别的地方 You gotta go to other places.
该去舞蹈班 农贸市场 You gotta go to a spin class, a farmers' market...
或者每年收获的时候去南瓜田 ...pumpkin patch, given the time of year.
总之要找些没有危险的交际场所 Just somewhere social, non-threatening.
明白吧 就是那种地方 You know, something like that.
对 我是在彩弹射击场认识我老婆的 Yeah, I met the missus at paintball.
我打中了她的脖子 然后我们就 Yeah, I shot her in the neck. And we just... .
我们就走到一块了 明白吧 And we just hit it off, you know.
顺便说一下 我的第一任妻子 是个骚货 My first wife...who is a whore, by the way.
你猜我是在哪儿认识她的 -where do you think I met her?
酒吧 酒吧里 A bar. A bar.
-就是这个酒吧 -就是这个酒吧 -It was this bar. -It was this bar.
对 就是这个酒吧 Yeah, it was this bar.
给她买了杯比尼恩牌的酒 夸了几句她的手提袋 Bought her a Binion's, complimented her on her tote bag...
接着我就发现 ...and next thing I know,
她的嘴含住了我的龟头 she's putting her mouth around the tip of my penis.
你没必要告诉我这个 You don't have to tell me that.
-就在那里 -她为我开辟了性爱的天地 -Right in there. -She opened up my world, sexually.
在我结婚那天晚上 我们玩了群交 On our wedding night, we had group sex.
我没参与 I wasn't involved in it.
-不过我能透过墙壁听见 -我参加了 -But I could hear it through the wall. -I was.
她真是了不起 后来 过了23个月 She was amazing. And then it was exactly 23 months later...
我发现她是个真正的骚货 ...that I found out she was an actual whore.
-我们发现她在街上 -对 -we discovered her on the street. -Yeah.
我不明白 I'm sorry.
她很坏 不要脸的贱货 She was bad. Fucking whoring bitch.
-不过你现在有新老婆了 所以 -对 对 -But you got a new wife now, so... . -Yeah. Yeah.
她棒极了 And she is wonderful.
-对 对 对 -你会认识她的 -Yeah, yeah, yeah. -You'll meet her.
知道吗 我敢打赌 我看穿了你的把戏 麦克拉温 You know what? I bet I know your trick, McLovin.
-你是在玩那种神 -呼叫所有单位 -You play the whole myst...-Calling all units.
把那东西关了吧 Just turn that off.
快派援兵好多血 Send backup! There's so much blood...
我敢打赌 你是在玩那种神秘客的把戏 对吗 I bet you play the whole mysterious-guy thing, right?
对 说真的 这一手对付女人有效吗 Yeah, seriously. How's it going with the ladies?
倒不是说对付女人怎么样 我在意的是 It's not the going with the ladies I care about...
怎么来事 ...it's the coming.
-我懂了 -什么意思 什么意思 -I get it. -what is it? what is it?
就是 Like:
就是来事 Like coming.
-好玩 真好玩 -天哪 -That's funny. That is really funny. -Oh, my God.
好吧 看来我们接到出警电话了 All right, looks like we got a call.
我们不能为这些买单了 we can't pay for these.
收到 我们这就过去 10-4. we'll be right there.
-飞毛腿 咱们走 -我们该带些啤酒在路上喝 -Speedy Gonzales, let's go. -we should get road beers.
对呀 我们该带些啤酒在路上喝 Hell, yeah, we should get some road beers.
给我13瓶啤酒好吗 Can I have 13 beers to go, please?
求求你 老天 我的腿 Please. God, my fucking leg.
操 Fuck.
-我想是他打来的 -是他吗 -I think it's him. -Is it him?
-喂 -喂 贝卡 -Hello? -Hey, Becca.
嗨 刚才我收不到信号 所以说到你的金箔酒 Hi, I had a bad reception. So about your Goldslick... .
-你们 闭嘴 -喂 你那边怎么回事 -Guys, shut up. -Hey, what's going on over there?
没事 只不过 It's nothing. It's just...
我刚才打电话 只是想知道你会不会过来 I was just calling, you know, to see if you were coming...
因为我想 也许你正在夜总会 ...because I thought maybe you were stuck at, like, a nightclub...
或者什么鸡尾酒会上 ...or a cocktail party or something.
不 不 我肯定会去你那儿的 我开足马力过去 No, no, I'm gonna be there for sure. Full throttle.
-就像《霹雳娇娃2》一样 -太棒了 -Charlie's Angels 2. -Awesome.
-我真想早点见到你 埃文 -好的 再见 -I can't wait to see you. Evan? -Okay, bye.
那是我第一次吸可卡因 That was the first time I ever did coke.
从那婊子的奶头上 那真是 Off that bitch's nipple. That was so...
-一小撮白面 -那真是太棒了 -A little white sniff. -That was awesome.
美极了 That was gorgeous.
你们呆在这里别走 Hey, hey, hey. You guys, stay in this room, man.
今晚他们要杀了那小子 那个妞的男朋友气疯了 They're gonna kill that guy tonight. That chick's boyfriend is pissed.
对 他是头牲口 Yeah. He's a beast.
我一直在祈祷有人打架 我真的是每次起床都祈祷 I've been praying for a fight. I'm literally waking up and praying...
就想看人打上他妈的一架 ...to see a fucking fight.
那小子是谁 who's that guy?
-嗨 -那小子是谁 -Hi. -who is that guy?
-这小子是谁 -幸会 幸会 -who's this guy? -Pleasure to see you fellas.
大家好 Hi, everyone.
-你谁 -我谁都不是 -who are you? -I'm nobody.
不对 不对 我认识你 我认识你 No, no, no. I know you. I know you.
那次聚会有他 就是我跟你们说的那次 He was at that party I was telling you about.
-不 不 -是谁 -No, no. -who is it?
记得吗 他是吉米的弟弟 那小子 唱歌的 Remember? He's Jimmy's brother. The guy. The singer.
-不是 -他就是那个有一把好嗓子的小子 -No. -He's the guy with the beautiful voice.
-那个唱歌的 吉米的弟弟 -那不是我 老兄 -The fucking singer, Jimmy's brother! -That's not me, man.
-天哪 -给哥们唱一个唱 -Oh, my God. -Sing for us! Sing.
不是我 你骗谁 "It's not me"? You fucking lying?
不 我不是说你们消息不灵通 不过 No, I don't mean to accuse you guys of being ill-informed, but...
我弟弟可是从亚里桑那州的斯科特斯戴尔赶来的 My brother came from Scottsdale, Arizona to be here.
你不想给他唱一个 You're not gonna sing for him?
-少说这种屁话 -唱 -Fucking bullshit. -Sing.
-你可是唱歌的 -你唱得很好 -You're a fucking singer. -You sing good.
-再唱一回 -像鸟一样唱 -Sing it again. -Like a bird.
不 我知道 我只是 我想要 No, I know, I just...I want to.
你想吸一点可卡因 You want a line of cocaine?
-不要 老兄 -好 -No way, man. -Yeah.
别摆架子了 唱吧 Don't make this weird. Sing.
-再唱一回 -快唱 -Sing it again. -Turbo.
-操超过了 -好了 瞧瞧这个 -Fuck! Over! -Okay, watch this.
我肯定不会猜错 I'll get it right on the nose.
你肯定不行 你肯定不行 You're gonna fuck it up. You're gonna fuck it up.
不到 Under!
我觉得自己醉了 这没道理 I feel hammered. That doesn't make any sense.
-你是个娘们 -好 好 很好 很好 -You're a fucking pussy. -Okay, okay. Great, great.
-麦克拉温 看看你行不行 -这孩子能行 -Okay, McLovin, see if you can do it. -The kid's gonna nail it.
来吧 麦克拉温 上 伙计 上伙计 Come on, McLovin. Do it, buddy. Come on, buddy!
-拿过来 -0.08 草拟大业 -Bring it! -0.08, motherfuckers!
-靠 -好小子 -Man! -That's my boy!
-好 -狗屎运 狗屎运 -Yes! -Beginner's luck. Beginner's luck.
对了 身上带着枪是什么感觉 So, what's it like to have guns?
爽翻了 麦克拉温 It is awesome, McLovin.
-我是说 那是精神 -棒极了 -I mean, it's mindbl...-It's great.
我这支也才领了没几个月 可是我跟你说 I haven't had one for long, a few months, but I'll tell you...
-那就好像你有两个老二 -对 ...it's like having two cocks. -Yup.
其中一个老二还是能杀人的 If one of your cocks could kill someone.
-我能摸一下吗 -什么 -Can I hold one? -what?
我能摸摸你们的枪吗 Can I hold one of your guns?
-当然可以 -我看行 为什么不呢 -Yeah, sure. -Fine with me. why not?
每个人至少都该摸几次枪 Everyone should hold a gun at least a couple times.
好 给你 Yeah, there you go.
-好好玩玩 -好好玩玩 -Have a blast. -"Have a blast."
-很好玩的 -我以前从没摸过这种东西 -That's funny. -I've never held one of these before.
-射击难吗 -如果你是麦克尔斯 那就很难 -Are they hard to shoot? -Lf you're Michaels, they are.
-他还不如用鸡巴射 -啥 -He can't shoot worth dick. -what?
我会射击 你说什么 等一下 I can shoot. what are you...? wait.
-我还不如用鸡巴射 -你不会射击 -I can't shoot worth dick? -You cannot shoot.
-我上星期还打死了那只猫 -本来就是只死猫 -I shot that cat last week. -It was already dead, man.
-它还是我打死的 -那只猫早就死了 -I still shot it. -That cat was dead.
那么只有一个办法能解决 There's only one way to settle this, guys.
-射一回 -射一回 -Shoot-off. -Shoot-off.
-射一回 -射一回 -Shoot-off! -Shoot-off!
我喜欢你有很多原因 There's a lot of reasons why I like you.
我是说 你长得帅 又够朋友 I mean, you're handsome and you're a good friend.
哥们 他在那儿 就是他 马克 就是那边那个 Dude, there he is. That's the guy. Hey, Mark, right there.
你也沾了一滩血 Oh, you got a stain too.
-我们是血肉相连的兄弟 -给我闭嘴 -we're blood brothers. -Shut the fuck up.
你是在我家里 回答我的问题 You're in my house, you answer my questions.
你和贾辛达跳舞时干了什么 what were you doing dancing with Jacinda?
我根本没跳舞 我只是 I don't even dance. I just...
我根本没跳过舞 所以 我根本没试过 I don't even dance ever, so...I've never even tried it.
那这一滩东西到底是哪来的 混蛋 Then where the hell did this come from, asshole?
没准是你和我在什么时候碰了一下 Maybe you and I rubbed up against each other at some point.
我不记得了 I don't remember.
没准我是被标出来的血反弹到的 我不知道 Maybe it was some ricochet scenario. I don't know.
-我怎么会知道呢 -踢他屁股 马克 -How am I supposed to know? -Kick his ass, Mark.
你闭嘴 斯佳丽 Shut the fuck up, Scarlett.
你是在哪里和我未婚妻跳舞的 where do you get off dancing with my fiance?
给一些女孩 To some girl.
说说怎么心碎 Talk about the hurting.
-靠 -好 -Shit. -All right.
-打起来了 -快去 -Yo! Fight! -Move it!
-走 瞧瞧去 -操 -Go, check this out! -Oh, fuck!
这到底是什么 And what the hell is this?
我没有操 这是去污剂 I don't fucking...It's detergent.
是 你用它干什么了 Yeah, what are you doing with it?
我的裤子上沾了血 I got fucking blood on my pants.
卧倒 Get down.
这他妈是怎么回事 老兄 你是不是 what the fuck is this all about, man? Are you...?
-好 我们上 -哥们 -well, fuck me. -Fellas.
操 我被小姑娘绊倒了 Oh, shit, I've been tackled by little girls!
你死吧 你是下一个 You die! You're next!
老娘宰了你 你妈逼的 I should fucking kill you, you motherfucker!
抓住他 吉米弟弟 抓住他 Hold him, Jimmy's brother! Hold him!
你什么意思 不 不行 what do you mean? No. No way!
-你让我出丑 -对不起 -You humiliated me! -I'm sorry!
-是你拿我的腿当成卫生巾了 -我要叫警察来 -You used my leg as a tampon! -I'm calling the cops.
埃文 快来快 Evan! Come on! Move!
操 操 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.
对 第五大道和佩斯维尤路 快点 Yeah. Fifth and Paysview. Hurry.
马克 我叫警察了 你快把你的枪藏起来 Mark, I called the cops. You should hide your gun.
你是个娘们 You're a fucking pussy.
别听他的 警官 Don't listen to him, officer.
要是你做到了 我们就再也不是朋友了 麦克尔斯 If you make this, we're no longer friends, Michaels.
-你是个娘们 -作弊 你是在作弊 -You're a fucking pussy. -Cheating. You're cheating.
-我操 -来舔我的蛋蛋吧 斯雷特 -Fuck me. -Oh, suck on my nuts, Slater!
好吧 你 你是碰巧打中的 All right, you...That was a lucky shot.
-你是瞎蒙的 -我赢了 -That was a lucky shot. -I rule.
我被操了 好吧 I got jizzed on. All right.
-我能开一枪吗 -行 上吧 上吧 -Can I shoot one? -Yeah, go nuts. Go nuts.
好好玩 老弟 Have a good time, man.
打光子弹 冲着它打光子弹 妈的 Empty the clip. Empty the clip on it, man. Shit!
警察 快走快走快走 散弹枪 散弹枪该死的 The cops! Bail! Bail! Bail! Shotgun, shotgun! Damn it!
散弹枪 Shotgun.
-好一次冲锋 -你们打算去干点什么 -what a rush. -what do you guys wanna do?
-咱们去喝个一醉方休 -咱们再胡闹一通 -Man, let's get drunk! -Let's get more fucked up!
你真是活在梦里 麦克尔斯 You're fucking living the dream, Michaels!
老兄 Oh, man.
这将是最棒的一晚 This is gonna be the best night ever.
-第五大道和佩斯维尤路口有人报警 -妈的 -Got a 257 at Fifth and Paysview. -Shit.
该地区所有单位请到 第五大道和佩斯维尤路口报到 All units in the area report to Fifth and Paysview.
-98号车 说的就是你 快去 -操 -Car 98, that's you. Do it. -Fuck.
-妈的 -妈的 -Shit. -Shit.
98号车这就过去 你这傻瓜贱货 Car 98 on it. You dumb fucking whore.
她是不是说我们可以去开枪打什么人或是什么东西 Hey, did she say we're gonna get to shoot somebody or something?
天哪 我巴不得这样 Oh, God, I wish.
多半是什么白痴家庭聚会 It's probably some lame house party.
我们完事了就送你回去 好吗 we'll drop you off after. Cool?
好 老兄 让那些人渣瞧瞧我们的厉害 Yeah, man. Let's show these fuckers how we roll!
-你个混账 -什么 -You fucking prick. -what?
-你抛弃了我 -我没抛弃你 -You bailed on me. -I didn't bail on you.
你抛弃了 Yeah, you did.
你答应过要做什么事 却没去做 You said you were gonna do something and you didn't do it.
那就是抛弃 That's bailing.
是你把我拉到那些疯子的聚会上的 You're the one that dragged me to that fucking party with those lunatics.
-我没抛弃你 -你抛弃了我 明白吗 -I didn't bail on you. -You bailed on me, okay?
今天早上杰西朝我吐痰时 你就抛弃过我 You bailed on me this morning when Jesse spat on me...
明年你也会抛弃我 ...and you're bailing on me next year.
怎么回事 你终于说出来了 好 老弟 what the fuck? It finally comes out. That's good, man.
我们应该一起去上大学的 we were supposed to go to college together.
我们从小开始 从小学开始 Since we were kids, since elementary school...
我们一直在说这个 我们要一起上学 ...that's all we've ever talked about, us going together.
可是你却要进见鬼的达特茅斯 And you got into fucking Dartmouth.
你把我说得像坏人一样 You're making me feel like I'm a bad guy.
怎么 我又没做错什么 我被一所好学校录取了 what...? I didn't do anything wrong. I got into a good school.
我他妈该怎么做才能进达特茅斯 你知道我进不了的 How the fuck am I supposed to get into Dartmouth? You knew I couldn't.
你他妈的怎么就这么自私呢 How fucking selfish are you?
让佛格尔背黑锅你倒心安理得 You had no problem letting Fogell take the fall.
你不想看我进好学校 You don't want me going to a good school.
-我操 -那么你到底想要什么 -Fuck, man! -So, what the fuck do you want?
我不想再被你拖后腿了 塞思 I'm not gonna let you slow me down anymore, Seth.
你说什么 what are you saying?
我浪费了这三年 陪你吹牛打屁 I've wasted the last three years sitting around talking bullshit with you.
我本来该去追女孩 交朋友的 Instead of chasing girls and making friends...
可是我却把时间都浪费在你身上 ...l've just sat around wasting all my time with you.
现在我眼看就要进大学了 却还是连朋友都没有的处男 And now I'm going to college a fucking friendless virgin.
这是为了贝卡 是为了某些女孩吗 Is this about Becca? This is about some girl, man?
-我喜欢她 -谁管你 -I like her! -who gives a fuck?
就是什么女孩子罢了 你要和她一块儿出去玩 She's some fucking girl! You gonna go out with her?
-然后呢 -去你妈的 你是一坨屎 -what about after that? -Fuck you, you're a piece of shit.
去你妈的下次你要是有什么不爽 Fuck you! And next time you're pissed off about something...
别在肚子里闷10年 是男人就说出来 ...don't keep it inside for 10 years, say it like a fucking man!
-别碰我 -操你 -Don't touch me. -Fuck you!
麦克拉温 你这边的门牌号是单数还是双数 Hey, McLovin, are the numbers on your side odd or even?
-不知道 太暗了 看不见 -我们有手电筒 -I don't know. It's too dark to see. -we got flashlights.
说得对 Oh, that's true.
我们到底在哪儿 where the fuck are we?
-斯雷特 -怎么 -Hey, Slater. -what's that?
斯雷特 Slater.
现在 小麦克尔斯 你要死了 Now, young Michaels, you will die.
好了 别闹了 我看不见了 看不见 我操 All right. Come on, stop it. I can't fucking see. I can't see. Fuck it.
-喜欢吗 -滚蛋 太刺眼了 -Like it? -Hey, fuck off, that hurts.
-你先停手 -你不停我就不停 -You stop first. -Not until you stop.
-停手 混蛋 -你停手 -Stop it, asshole. -Hey, you stop.
-操你 埃文 -他妈的别碰我 -Fuck you, Evan! -Don't fucking touch me.
为什么你要那么做 why did you do that?
-因为你拿手电照我的脸 -你也照了 -You shined the light in my face. -You did too.
-我在开车呢 -我们在玩光剑 -I'm driving. -we were playing Lightsabers.
-不好意思 -老天 -Excuse me. -Oh, my God.
你们要不要去看看他有没有事 Are you guys gonna make sure he's okay?
-去看看他 -你去看 -Check on him. -You check.
-你下车去看看他 -滚 你去 -You go out there and check on him. -Fuck that. You go.
妈的 好吧 我们一起下车去看看他 Balls. Okay, we'll both go out there and check on him.
真不敢相信 又出这种事 这概率是多少 I can't believe this is happening again. what are the odds?
操 Fuck.
-大家都没事吧 -我们很好 谢谢 -Is everyone okay? -Yeah, we're great, thanks.
爱人在哪 Hey, hey, where's the love?
-他没事 他很好 -站到你朋友旁边去 -He's okay. He's fine. -Stand right next to your friend.
-去那边 -我来看住他们 -Get over there. -I got them.
你看住他们 You got these guys?
小伙子 你们今晚喝了点酒吧 You boys doing a bit of drinking tonight?
没有 警官 一点没喝 我们 No, officer. Not at all. Not...we
这是我们捡到的 we found those.
我不信 I don't believe you.
不许动 站那儿别动 Freeze. Stand right there.
-我们说的是实话 -那就好 -we're telling the truth. -Keep it going.
-今晚你们别想逞英雄 -今晚不是时候 -Don't be a hero tonight, guys. -wrong night for that.
这事应该你来管 You gotta fucking take care of this.
不 我可不想再给你擦屁股 明白 见你的鬼吧 No. Look, I am not fixing your mistakes again, okay? Fuck that shit.
我不想被炒鱿鱼 我喜欢这份工作 I don't wanna get shitcanned. I like this job.
我也是 我还可以免费理发 我不想背黑锅 Me too. I get free haircuts. I'm not taking the fall.
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay!
我们把这两个小蠢货抓起来 好吗 we're gonna arrest these two little dipshits, okay?
然后把过错都推到他们头上 And we're gonna pin it on them.
好 你该干什么就干吧 Yeah, do what you have to do.
趴地上去 Spread your shit!
趴下这枪可上膛了 随时能射 Get on the ground! Loaded gun, ready to go!
趴地上去把鸡巴贴在路面上 伙计 Spread your shit! Pussies on the pavement, fellas.
-快点 -请别开枪 长官 -Come on! -Please don't shoot, sir.
请别开枪 给我闭嘴 手脚伸开 "Please don't shoot." Shut up and spread your shit!
老子就是王法 明白吗 I am the law! Okay?
现在两人握手 Now hold hands.
-啥 -为什么 -what? -why?
你不想在脸上开个窟窿吧 You don't want an asshole where your face used to be, whaling Jennings.
-快握住他的臭手 -妈的 握着我的手吧 -Hold his fucking hand! -Fucking hold my hand.
好 也不是太难 对吗 There. That's not so hard, is it?
来 麦克拉温 抽一支 Here, McLovin, have a cigarette.
吞云吐雾 人生苦短 你知道吧 Smoke up. Life's short, you know.
吸进去 我的朋友 Suck it in, my friend.
深深地吸进去 Suck it long and deep.
好好享受吧 Enjoy it.
麦克拉温 麦克拉温 麦克拉温 McLovin, McLovin, McLovin.
你喜欢斯雷特警官和我吧 You like Officer Slater and myself?
是的 你们都是大好人 Yeah, you guys are awesome.
谢谢 我们也很喜欢你 麦克拉温 Thanks. we really like you too, McLovin.
所以我们就这么办 So here's what's about to happen.
我们要把这几个小子抓起来 we're gonna arrest these guys...
你写一份目击证词 ...you're gonna write a witness report
就说他们是突然冲到车前的 saying they leapt in front of our car...
我们来不及反应 你看行吧 ...and there was nothing we could do. Sound cool?
-行 没问题 -好 -Yeah, that's fine. -Good.
很好 就当他是你的小妹妹 That's good. Pretend he's your little sister.
你的小妹妹和 Your little sister with the... .
搞什么飞机 what the fuck?
佛格尔 Fagell?
-操 -操 -Shit! -Shit!
快跑 快跑 Run! Run!
等等 wait.
等一下 我要把酒带上 塞思 等等 Hold on, I gotta get all the booze. Seth, wait up!
麦克拉温溜了 McLovin bailed!
你去追那孩子 Chase the kid!
站住 Stop!
那孩子跑得真快 That was a fast kid.
我要搭车你听见没有 你不能拒捕我 I want a ride! You hear me? You can't unarrest me!
站住 Stop!
-麦克拉温 -过来 -McLovin! -Come on.
麦克拉温 McLovin!
麦克拉温 为什么 McLovin! why?
麦克拉温 回来 McLovin, come back!
我的手 妖怪 妮可妮可 叫爸爸来 My hand! Monster! Nicole! Nicole, get Daddy.
-叫爸爸来 -叫爸爸来 -Get Daddy. -Get Daddy!
-妈的 -别碰我的孩子 -Oh, shit. -Get away from my kids!
你们这些婊子养的 You sick sons of bitches!
见鬼了 what the fuck?
麦克尔斯 你没事吧 Michaels, are you okay?
-只是啤酒喝多了 -你帮帮忙好吧 -It's just beer. -Give me a break.
-只是啤酒喝多了 -别像娘们一样 -It's just beer. -Man up.
怎么回事 你把他追丢了 what happened? what, did you lose him?
他是个妖人 天下跑得最快的孩子 He's a freak. He's the fastest kid alive.
-这可不好 -他是天下跑得最快的孩子 -This is not good. -He's the fastest kid alive.
天下跑得最快的孩子 见你的鬼 Fastest kid alive, my ass.
现在我们该怎么办 Come on. what are we gonna do?
我要朝天开枪 I'll shoot my gun in the air.
你他妈的开枪前也跟我说一声 Give me a fucking warning before you do it.
我要把他从藏身的地方吓出来 I'll scare him out of wherever he's hiding.
这样做屁用没有 上车吧 上车吧 This isn't gonna do shit. Get in the car. Get in the car.
这是你的错 你个臭 This is your fault, you piece of...
操 操 他们把塞思打死了 Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. They shot Seth.
他们把塞思打死了 我知道 They fucking shot Seth, I know it.
这下死了 Holy shit.
这下死了 这下死了 Holy shit. Holy shit.
-我该跑吗 -对 -Should I run? -Yes.
-我操 停下 -把公共汽车停下来 -Fuck. Stop! -Stop the bus!
-停下 -它停了 -Stop it! -It's stopping.
-它停了 -感谢上帝 -It's stopping. -Oh, thank God.
埃文 帮我付钱 Hey, Evan, pay for me, please.
这是我和他的钱 That's me and him.
是你 Hey, hey. It's you.
麦克莫芬 McMuffin.
-你认识这家伙 -是 -You know this guy? -It's...
这回没有警察来帮你了 你还想保住你的酒吗 Ain't got no cop people to help you keep your booze now, do you?
滚回去 不然我就把你揍个屁滚尿流 Hey! Back the fuck up, man, or I'll beat the shit out of you.
-把酒给我 -滚回去 -Give me the booze. -Hey! Back the fuck up.
滚回去 滚回去 Back the fuck up. Back the fuck up.
拜托 拜托 冷静点 Please, please, calm down, sir.
金箔酒 Goldslick.
从车上滚下去 不然我叫警察了 Get off the bus or I'm calling the cops.
去吃屎吧 叫花子 Eat shit, bum.
哥们 我们离目的地只隔三条马路了 Oh, shit, guys. we're three blocks away, man.
我们成功了 我们把酒什么的都搞到手了 we made it. we made it with the booze and everything.
我们成功了 we made it.
拿着这个 Hold this.
真不敢相信 我们还是搞到酒了 I can't believe you still have the liquor.
太棒了 It's awesome.
我说过这法子有用 我把那些警察都耍了 Yeah, I told you the idea would work. I fooled those cops.
我是麦克拉温 我是麦克拉温 I'm McLovin. I am McLovin.
为什么你们拿着去污剂 why do you guys have detergent?
我不明白 你怎么会和警察在一起抽烟 I don't understand why you were smoking cigarettes with those cops.
因为我太聪明了 Because I fucking rule.
-今晚我们可以睡到妞了 -我会的 我会和妞睡的 -we are so gonna get laid tonight. -I am. I'm gonna get laid.
我们终于把酒搞来了 we're finally gonna get our drinks on.
真想不到贝卡的酒摔了 I can't believe Becca's bottle broke.
肯定没问题的 I'm sure it'll be fine.
我看你是不需要酒的 你要跟她说心里话 I thought you didn't need it. You were gonna tell her how you feel.
祝你好运 把朱尔丝灌醉 和她来一发 Good luck getting Jules drunk enough to have sex with you.
-你们两个是怎么了 -没什么 -what's wrong with you guys? -Nothing.
你们两个基友明年可以在上床睡觉的时候谈起这事 You two femmes can talk about it next year at your little slumber party.
你告诉他了 Oh, you told him.
-告诉我什么 -你真是白痴 佛格尔 -Told me what? -Yeah. You're an idiot, Fogell.
-那我们现在就告诉他 -不 我们 -well, we gotta tell him now. -No, we...
他已经看出点苗头了 well, he knows something's up.
你们俩在说什么 快告诉我 what are you guys talking about? Tell me now.
塞思 明年我和埃文就是室友了 Seth, me and Evan are rooming together next year.
这还不是大事吗 what's the big deal?
天哪 佛格尔和埃文住一块儿了 "Oh, my God, Fogell's rooming with Evan."
你听了这事为什么不去哭一场 Jeez, why don't you go cry about it?
-我没告诉你 是因为 -因为你是个卑鄙小人 -I didn't tell you because...-You're a backstabber...
你对你最好的朋友撒了谎 而且你一点不在乎 ...and you lied to your best friend and you just don't care anymore?
我没想到你会做这种事 埃文 I didn't expect this from you, Evan.
没想到你会这样 Not from you.
把酒给我 佛格尔 Give me that booze, Fagell.
我们不该把计划瞒着他的 we never should have had to hide our arrangement.
-塞思来了 -塞思 你来了 -Seth's here. -Seth, you're here.
嗨 各位 塞思搞到了 Hi. Everybody, Seth has got it.
-埃文 -盖比 -Evan. -Gaby, hey.
你上哪儿去了 差点错过机会 where have you been? You almost blew it.
-你在说什么 -贝卡呀 她一直在等你 -what are you talking about? -Becca. She's been waiting.
她就在那边 She's over there.
有点醉了 She's way smashed.
而且她整晚都在唠叨你的事 And she's been yammering about you all night.
真的 她说什么 Really? what was she saying?
她跟你说她觉得我是个好人 She told you that she thinks I'm a good guy?
不 不 她的意思更像是 No, no. She said something more like:
我今晚要好好为他吹箫 "I will fully blow him tonight."
-啥 -我知道 -what? -I know.
-是 -可是她已经彻底醉了 -Yeah. -But she's totally hammered...
要是我自己没喝醉 又乘机下手 ...and if I get with her and I'm not drunk,
是不是有点不道德 isn't that unethical?
你也喝醉不就没事了 Not if you're drunk too.
我想也是 I guess not.
敬塞思 To Seth.
-敬塞思 -好 -To Seth! -All right.
谁他妈是塞思 who the fuck is Seth?
我就是塞思 I'm Seth!
再敬我一次 Let's do another one to me.
天哪 Oh, boy.
冷静 冷静 Calm down. Calm down, man.
冷静点 她喜欢你 Calm down. She likes you.
她想吸你的阴茎 She wants to suck on your penis.
这是好事 It's a good thing.
再好没有了 It's the best thing.
只要干了这瓶就行 Just down the hatch.
我佛格尔 怎样 Fogell. what's up?
埃文 小埃 过来 Evan, hey. Evie, come here.
你帮帮忙 拉我起来好吗 Can you please help me up?
我摔倒了 这帮混蛋没一个肯帮我 I fell down and none of these assholes will help me up.
-妈的 -贝卡 -Shit. -Becca.
我等你等了好久 好久 I have been waiting for you for, like, ever.
-你怎么这么晚才来 -我知道 我 -what took you so long? -I know, it...
-你带了我的金箔酒吗 -没有 我甚至没有 -Do you have my Goldslick? -No, I can't even...
这事实在太混乱了 明白吗 It's such a crazy story, okay?
-我发誓我拼命 -这没关系 -I swear I was try...-It doesn't even matter.
瞧 我们有 我们喝这个就行 Look. Look what we...we can just drink this.
-来 你可以喝一点 -不用了 -Here. You could have a drink. -Oh, no.
-我已经醉得不行了 -喝一点嘛 -I'm already pretty wasted. -Take a drink.
好吧 这是为你喝的 为了贝卡 Okay, here's to you. This is to Becca.
为了贝卡 To Becca.
-为了敬重 -各位 -To the respecting...-Guys.
女人 为了敬重女人的人们 -women. To people respecting women.
好 Okay. Yeah.
你酒量不行 You're a lightweight.
你和我 我们应该上楼去 因为 You and me, we should go upstairs, because...
因为我要和你说点事 好吗 Because I need to tell you something. Okay?
你在这里说也行 我是说 You could just tell me here, I mean... .
这里不能说 因为这是我和你的小秘密 I can't tell you, because it's a secret for you from me.
-好吧 -那么来吧 来吧 -All right. -So come. Come on. Okay.
-再见 各位 -再见 -Bye, guys. -Bye.
-再见 -再见 -Bye-bye. -Bye.
你把名字改成麦克拉温了 You changed your name to McLovin?
-真酷 -谢谢 -That's so cool. -Thanks.
那么 夏威夷怎么样 So, like, what's Hawaii like?
好了 我回来了 All right. I am back.
我必须去谢谢上门做客的人 你知道 I had to thank the peeps for coming out, you know.
朱尔丝 我想请你陪我喝一点 Jules. I want you to have a drink with me.
就喝点这个 你会喜欢的 Just drink some of this. You're gonna love it.
你会 我知道你会喜欢喝的 You're to...I know you're gonna love it.
-你知道 我 -顺便告诉你 这是生啤 -You know, l...-It's green beer. For your information.
你知道 我现在感觉很好 不过还是要谢谢你 You know, I'm actually good right now. But thank you.
还要谢谢你带来这么多东西 And thank you very much for bringing everything, again.
今晚就靠这些东西了 我是说真的 Seriously, it really made the night.
我就是这么能干 就是这样 No, that's how I roll. That's the thing.
这是小事一桩 你会明白的 It's no problems. You'll learn that.
我喜欢和你谈话 I love talking and conversing with you.
不过我听不清你的话 因为音乐太吵了 But I can't hear you, though, because the music is so loud.
所以说 你想不想出去再聊 So do you wanna go outside and talk more?
不好意思 当然想 为什么不呢 Yeah. Sorry, sure. You know, why not?
咱们走吧 我好多年没跟人这么聊过了 Let's do it. I haven't conversed in ages.
-好 女士 女士优先 -好 -Okay. Ladies...Ladies first. -Okay.
-太谢谢你了 -没问题 -Thank you very much. -No problem.
-小心脚下 我今天已经摔过一次了 -真的吗 -watch your step. I fell earlier today. -You serious?
我还被车撞了呢 说来话长 well, I was hit by a car. It's a long story.
-该死 小心点 -好 -Oh, shit. Careful. -Okay, well... .
真吵 别让家长们听见 So loud. Don't let the parents hear.
你真漂亮 You look so pretty.
-你没事吧 -我在数学课上一直在挑逗你 -Are you okay? -I so flirt with you in math.
跟我说说 我 我也是 Tell me about it. L...Samesies.
我早就想告诉你 你是最棒的姑娘 I've wanted to tell you for so long that you're the best girl.
我知道 我想和你做爱 好想好想 I know. I've wanted to get with you, like, so hard.
好想好想 Like so hard.
你是最棒的 You're the best.
我说 我们把这件罩衫脱了吧 we'll take this sweater off. I think so.
小心点 这件罩衫对我有纪念意义 它是旧货 Just be careful, because it's a meaningful sweater to me. It's vintage.
好 Okay.
-是从旧货市场买来的 -快点就好 -Bought it at that vintage market. -Just hurry.
-还有这件 -脱了 -And this one. -It's off.
等一下 小心 Hey, wait, careful.
-该死 -哎呀 -Oh, shit. -Oh, my.
把它放到那边去 Put that there.
-现在 看吧 看吧 -好 -Now, looky, looky... -Okay.
-我在这下面为你准备的 -天哪 ...what I got for you under here. -Oh, my gosh.
你是最漂亮的姑娘 You are the prettiest girl...
-密西西比河的这边 -我在这下面 ...this side of the Mississippi. -I have a little something...
为你准备了点小东西 ...for you under here.
你真漂亮 You look so pretty.
-真漂亮 -在那下面 -Look so pretty. -Under there.
你好 Hello.
给你准备的 For you.
你最棒 你真是 尤物 You're the best. You're so unique.
过来 Come here.
埃文 亲我 Evan, kiss me.
我太喜欢你了 I like you so much.
来吧 麦克拉温 Come on, McLovin.
我还从没跟比我大的人做过 I've never been with an older guy before.
那感觉会好很多 well, it's way better.
我知道 我们做了一些很厉害的 提拉米苏 I know, we made some kick-ass tiramisu earlier.
很好吃 样子很怪 不过味道很好 It was deli...It looked weird. But it was delicious.
怎么 怎么了 what...? what's wrong?
我想 我们最好还是 L...I would prefer if we would just do that...
另外挑个时间吧 ...at some other time.
不 别另外挑时间了 都要毕业了 No. There is no other time. School is up.
-现在做有什么不好 -我是说 你 你醉了 -what's wrong with right now? -well, I mean, you're...You're drunk.
你真的 真的醉了 You're, like, really, really drunk.
那有什么 你也醉了 朱尔丝 So? You're drunk. You're drunk, Jules.
其实我 我一点都没醉 Yeah, I'm actually...I'm not drunk at all.
我根本没喝 所以 我是说 I don't even drink, so it's...I mean...
朱尔丝 你喝的 你喝的 Jules, you drink. You drink.
大家 你 你让我弄来了酒 所以你也喝的 Everybody...You...You had me get liquor, so you drink.
这好比 It's like... .
对 因为聚会是我办的 记得吗 well, yeah, because I'm throwing a party, remember?
其他人都喝 所以我只是 Other people drink and so I just... .
你 You...?
你不想吗 You don't wanna, you know?
现在不想 Not right now.
你知道 不想在你喝醉的时候 You know, not while you're drunk.
不过 还是谢谢你 But, you know, thank you.
-埃文 埃文 我湿了 -是 -Evan. Evan, I'm so wet. -Oh, yeah.
他们说健康人就会这样 我听说的 They said that would happen in health, when I learned about it.
-对 -对 -Yeah. -Yeah.
-他们还教过我 -下面是谁 -They taught me about...-who's down there?
那是你的手 Yeah, it's your hand.
-谢谢 真爽 -你的小弟弟真光滑 -Thank you, that's good. -You have such a smooth cock.
谢谢 假如你是男人 也会这样的 Thank you. You would too if you were a man.
不过你的胸脯真光滑 But you got such a smooth chest.
我要给你 I am gonna give you...
最棒的口交 ...the best blow-J ever...
用我的嘴 ...with my mouth.
为什么我们不 为什么我们不亲吻一阵 why don't we...? why don't we just kiss a while?
我们再吻一会儿 不好吗 why don't we keep kissing for a bit, instead of...?
你特别想上我吧 How badly do you wanna fuck me?
老天 Jesus Christ.
天哪 我操 Jesus, fuck.
-等一下 -什么 -Hang on one second. -what?
贝卡 我想你其实没有这个意思 Becca, I don't think you wanna do this.
-你真的醉了 -不 我没有 我没醉 -You're really drunk. -No, I'm not. I am not drunk.
我看你醉了 我觉得你醉了 I see that you are. I think you are.
我是真的 要你放进来 -And I really...I want you inside me.
我要你做我的第一个男人 我要你放进来 I want you to be my first. I want you inside me.
所以说 你就做下去嘛 So just...Just go with it.
-就这样做下去 -我知道 可是 -Let it happen. -I know, but... .
贝卡 这有点太刺激了 Becca, this is kind of intense.
我只是 我醉得厉害 我甚至 不能应付了 And I just...I'm so drunk. I can't even, like, process this.
你真的很漂亮 And you're really pretty.
我只是觉得这不是我设想的那样 And I just think this isn't how I pictured it.
我不明白 你为啥非要这样婆婆妈妈的 I don't understand why you have to be such a little bitch about it.
-你说我婆婆妈妈 -是 被吓得 -Did you just call me a bitch? -Yes, a scared...
你瞧 我觉得 我们没有想清楚 See, I, like, I think we're not thinking clear...
我操 天哪 Holy shit. Oh, my God.
-去叫盖比 -我这就去找她 -Go get Gaby. -I'll go get her.
天 天 去叫盖比 拜托了 Oh, God. Oh, God. Go get Gaby, please.
-我勃起了 -很好 -I got a boner. -Good.
-你有保险套吗 -有 -Do you have a condom? -Yes.
还有润滑剂 And lube.
塞思 Seth?
你在 你在哭吗 Are...? Are you crying?
没有 只是两只眼睛都进了点东西 No, I just have something in both my eyes.
我没哭 那太滑稽了 I don't cry. That's funny.
我看你 看你 就像是在哭 You look...You look...It looks like you're crying.
因为 So... .
这是我最后的机会 可是我搞砸了 It was my last chance and I fucked it up and...
你最后的机会 干什么 Your last chance to do what?
让你在这个夏天做我的女朋友 To make you my girlfriend for the summer.
你是和我说过话的人里最酷的一个 You're, like, the coolest person that's ever talked to me.
我以为我们都醉了 I thought we'd both be drunk.
我醉不醉跟这有什么关系 what does me being drunk have anything to do with it?
假如你是清醒的 肯定不会跟我好 You'd never get with me if you were sober.
你看看你 Look at you.
-再看看我 -塞思 得了 你没搞砸 -Look at me. -Seth, come on, you didn't blow it.
我想也许 I think maybe...
我操 what the fuck?!
救救我 Help me.
雪莉 Shirley.
对不起 I'm sorry.
-有人忘了叫杀虫公司来 -对 -Someone forgot to call pest control. -Yep.
你去哪儿 聚会还没结束呢 where you going? Hey, party's still on.
-你去哪儿 -不 -where are you going? -No.
要是你回那儿去了 就出来 大家快点 If you're back there, get out. Everyone, come on.
-我们会开枪的 -聚会结束了 -we will shoot you. -Party's over.
-埃文 -快给我滚出来 -Evan. -Get the hell out of here.
把手举高 Keep your hands up.
人生是狗屎 米洛基 Life's bullshit, Miroki.
埃文 快醒醒 老兄 Ev, wake the fuck up, man.
我们该走了 那帮该死的条子来了 we gotta go. Those fucking cops are here, man.
不 是警察 我们接到了投诉 "Oh, no, it's the cops." we have a complaint.
-埃文 快来 -马上给我滚出去 -Evan, come on. -Get the hell out of here right now.
滚出去 她没兴趣 Get out of here. She's not interested.
-把酒放下 快出去 大姐 -回见 白糖奶头 -Drop the crantini and move it, sister. -See you, sugar tits.
各位 快点 动起来 Guys, come on, move.
全都出去 把酒留下 然后出去 Everybody out. Leave the booze and go.
搞什么 what the fuck, man?
搞什么 塞思 what the fuck, Seth?
他是我最要好的朋友 噢 妈的 He's my best friend. Oh, shit.
妈的 快来 Oh, shit. Come on.
我会假设你们都带了枪支和毒品 I assume you all have guns and crack.
天哪 快点 别停 Oh, my God, come on. Don't stop.
好 各位 Okay, everyone...
准备被执法机关的大鸡巴插得死去活来吧 ...prepare to be fucked by the long dick of the law.
出去 Get out.
快走 Come on, go.
你滚蛋 塞思 Fuck off, Seth.
找个房间 Get a room.
我要救你 我要救你 埃文 I'm gonna save you. I'm gonna save you, Evan.
操 Fuck.
操 操 这么重 Fuck. Fuck, man, so heavy.
进去了 噢 天 进去了 It's in. Oh, my God, it's in.
好了 大家都出去 快点 走吧 All right, everybody out. Come on, let's go.
麦克拉温搞什么鬼 McLovin! what the fuck?
-斯雷特警官 是你吗 -你丢下我们跑了 -Officer Slater, is that you? -You ran away from us.
为什么你要跑 麦克尔斯 上来 why did you run away? Michaels, get up here.
-不 我没跑 -怎么搞的 -No. I didn't run away. -what the fuck?
为什么你要那么干 why would you do that?
-我一时糊涂 -你在侵犯那个女孩吗 -I was disoriented from...-were you violating that girl?
你刚才用你的阴茎侵犯了那个女孩 麦克尔斯 你瞧 You just violated her with your penis? Michaels, look.
-麦克拉温 -不 不 不 -McLovin? -No, no, no.
不 No.
好家伙 你刚才和他睡过了 Holy shit. were you just getting laid?
没有 对 我是 不过 No. Yeah, I was, but...
-对 对 他睡了 -不是你们想的那样 -Yes, yes, he was. -It's not what you think, guys.
-我还没有 -给我坐下 好好呆着 -I'm not even...-Sit the fuck down. Stay down.
-冷静点 -我以为我们成朋友了 -Calm down. -I thought we were friends...
可是转眼你就溜了 ...and then you go running away.
你克制一下 Contain yourself.
-我们是朋友 -闭嘴 -we're friends. -Shut up.
-冷静点 冷静点 哥们 -为什么 什么 -Calm down. Calm down, man. -why? what?
你刚才坏了麦克拉温的好事 对吗 You just cock-blocked McLovin. Okay?
他是我们的朋友 我们不能那么做 He's our friend. we don't do that.
我们应该对他的鸡巴进行引导 而不是硬把它堵回去 we should be guiding his cock, not blocking it.
别激动 好吗 我们来纠正错误 Just relax, okay? Let's make this right.
等等 你们要 你们要干什么 wait, what are you...? what are you guys doing?
不 求求你们 我不要 我不要坐牢 No, please, I can't...I can't go to jail.
求你们了 我不要坐牢 Please, I can't go to jail.
不 听我说 我们真的很抱歉 麦克拉温 No, look. we're really sorry, McLovin.
这 这实在 这事儿实在做得过头了 This has...This has gone on...This has gone way too far.
什么 你们在说什么 what? what are you talking about?
我们知道你不到25岁 老弟 we know you're not 25, man.
我们不是白痴 麦克拉温 we're not idiots, McLovin.
-对 -你们一开始就知道了 -Yeah. -Did you know the whole time?
你瞧 我们像你这么大的时候 也很讨厌警察 Look, when we were your age, we hated cops.
今天我们在酒店里看到你 我们就 when we saw you in the liquor store today, we just... .
我们觉得好象又看到了自己 你知道 I guess we saw a bit of ourselves, you know...
所以我们就想让你看看 ...and we just wanted to show you that...
你知道 警察有时也会 去找点乐子 明白吗 ...you know, cops can have a fun time too, you know?
是 Yeah.
要知道 从某种意义上讲 我们是想表现自己 You know, in a way, I think we wanted to show ourselves.
还有 我 Also, I'm... .
我坏了你的好事 真的很抱歉 I'm really sorry that I blocked your cock.
-接受你的道歉 -认真的 老弟 -Apology accepted. -Seriously, man.
这样感觉真好 That feels good.
-感觉真好 -我也想念过你们 -It feels so good. -I missed you guys.
但愿我们能多少弥补一点你的损失 I just wish we could make it up to you somehow, man.
你们能不能帮我一个大忙 well, do you think you can do me a really big favor?
-什么忙 什么都行 -说吧 -what is it? Anything. -Name it.
-这孩子真他妈的疯了 -为了你们的安全 站远点 -This kid's fucking crazy. -Stay back for your own safety.
放开我 臭警察 把你们的手拿开 Get off me, you fucking cops. Get your hands off.
你们知道我是谁吗 我是佛格尔 Do you know who I am? I'm Fogell.
-牢房关不住我 -好家伙 佛格尔原来这么屌 -The joint can't hold me. -Holy shit, Fogell's a badass.
我把你们的玻璃都砸了 臭警察 你们关不住我 I'm gonna break your glasses, you fucking cop. You can't hold me.
臭猪 Fucking pigs.
操 Oh, shit.
发型不错 混蛋 Nice mullet, asshole.
-你疯了 -这孩子疯了 -You crazy. -This kid's crazy.
他在犯浑呢 好 我们抓住了臭名昭著的佛格尔 He's nuts. well, we caught the infamous Fogell.
把你的手拿 等着我 妮可拉 Get your hands...wait for me, Nicola.
在外面等我 wait for me on the outside.
我们本来也要去夏威夷的 we were gonna go to Hawaii.
老弟 这下你可大出风头了 Man, that's gonna get you so much ass.
真的 Seriously?
-我知道该拿这车怎么办了 -真好 -I know what to do about the car. -Sweet.
走 吐 Fucking go. Fucking throw up.
你在抱我走 Are you carrying me?
不 我是在从警察手里救你 No, I'm saving you from the cops.
你救了我 You saved me?
我不明白你在说什么 不过还是谢谢你 well, I don't know what you're talking about, but thanks.
我可以 我应该下来走吗 Can l...Should I just walk?
-我应该自己走吗 -当然了 -Should I walk? -Yeah, sure.
-好 -你想上哪儿去 -Okay. -where do you wanna go?
在我家过夜吧 你想来睡吗 Sleepover at my house? You wanna come sleep...?
-好 -好 -Okay. -Okay.
你妈妈还做匹萨百吉饼吗 Does your mom still have pizza bagels?
做 好多呢 Yeah. Lots.
匹萨百吉饼 Pizza bagels.
只要签了这个 就表示你正式声明 So by signing this, you are officially saying...
在我们从歹徒手里救你的时候 ...that as we stopped you from being mugged...
有个吸毒的家伙偷了我们的警车 ...a crackhead stole our cruiser
对它做了天晓得什么事 and did God knows what with it.
-你愿意签字吗 -当然了 我的命都是欠你们的 -You cool to sign that? -Of course. I owe you guys my life.
我们欠你 麦克 等一下 你的真名叫什么 we owe you, Mc...wait, what's your real name again?
-佛格尔 -去它的 -Fogell. -Fuck that.
-我们就叫你麦克拉温 -麦克拉温 -we're calling you McLovin. -McLovin.
咱们来跳个舞吧 小伙子们 Let's do this dance, boys.
-天哪 -我是怎么跟你们说的 -Oh, my God. -what did I tell you guys, right?
真是爽翻了 That was crazy.
好了 All right.
好了 现在你们瞧瞧这个 All right, now, guys, check this out.
这可能是飞车转圈运动史上 最伟大的动作 It's probably the greatest move in doughnut-spinning history.
你们看好了 You paying attention?
请看上旋猪尾巴 Behold, the upward-spiraling pigtail.
-为什么叫这个名字 -我不知道 -why is it called that? -I don't know.
为警徽增光 斯雷特 Make the badge proud, Slater.
他做这动作的时候一般不会醉成这样 He's not usually this drunk when he does this...
不过我想这样可以做得更酷 ...but I think that could make it more cool.
麦克拉温 McLovin!
不 Oh, no.
操 Fuck.
-斯雷特 -斯雷特警官 -Slater! -Officer Slater.
好 真爽 All right. Fucking crazy.
咱们干吧 Let's do this.
快 快 浇吧 浇吧 Hurry, hurry. Let's go. Go, go.
我浇 我浇 我浇 I'm going, I'm going, I'm going.
-我浇完了 浇完了 -好 浇这 浇这 -I'm out, I'm out. -Good, here we go, here we go.
好了 好 闪人 Yeah? Yeah, okay. Back up.
别把你们自己炸着了 Don't blow yourself up, asshole.
我的天 Yes. Oh, my God.
成了 成了 It worked. It worked.
我们赢了 我们赢了 we won. we won.
我们可以朝它开枪吗 Can we shoot at it?
我不知道 你可以吗 I don't know. Can you?
爆炸吧 傻瓜 Break yourself, fool.
帅 Tight.
听我说 后来她说要给我口交 Listen, and then she said she was gonna give me a blow-J.
我真不敢相信 她这么对你说 I can't believe she said that to you.
老兄 你根本想不到 Man, you have no idea.
-她在想什么 -你根本不知道 -what was she thinking? -You don't even know.
我要告诉你 我要告诉你一些事 埃文 I gotta tell you. I gotta tell you something, Evan.
什么 what?
大概三星期前 我进了你的房间 I was in your room, like, three weeks ago...
那时候你在大便 ...while you were taking a shit.
我看了你的住宿表格 And I saw your housing, like, forms.
所以我那时就知道 你要和佛格尔一起住了 So I knew you and Fogell were gonna live together, you know.
对不起 我不知道 I'm sorry, man, I don't know.
我早该告诉你的 我不知道为什么没说 I should've told you. I don't know why I didn't.
别 别这么怪自己 该说对不起的是我 Don't...No, don't be sorry. I should be sorry.
我才是混蛋呢 对你做了那么混蛋的事 I was being a dick. I was being a big dick to you.
不 我 No, l...
听我说 塞思 我要你知道 Listen, Seth, I want you to know,
我不想和佛格尔一起住 I don't wanna live with Fogell.
我从来不想和他一起住 我只是不 我 I never wanted to live with him. I just don't...I ha...
我害怕和陌生人住在一起 I'm afraid to live with strangers.
我不行 I can't.
我做不到 I can't do it.
我知道 我知道 I know, I know.
我真想不到你救了我 I can't believe you saved me.
你救了我 You saved me.
我真没想到 我欠你太多 I can't believe. I owe you so...
你抱着我走 我爱你 You carried me. I love you.
我爱你 哥们 I love you, man.
我爱你 I love you.
我爱你 说这话我一点不难为情 我就是 I love you. I'm not even embarrassed to say it. I just...
我 我爱你 I lo...I love you.
-我不难为情 -我爱你 -I'm not embarrassed. -I love you.
我爱你 I love you.
为什么我们不能天天这么说呢 why don't we say that every day?
为什么我们不能把这话多说几遍呢 why can't we say it more often?
我就是爱你 我想冲到房顶上喊 I just love you. I just wanna go to the rooftops and scream:
我爱我最好的朋友埃文 "I love my best friend, Evan."
-我们应该上我家的房顶 -当然 -we should go up on my roof. -For sure.
比方说 你在复活节出去度假的时候 我就很想你 Like, when you went away for Easter, on your vacation, I missed you.
-我也想你 -我想让全世界都知道 -I missed you too. -I want the world to know.
这是 这是天底下最美好的事 It's...It's the most beautiful thing in the world.
过来 过来 哥们 Come here. Come here, man.
-我爱你 -我爱你 -I love you. -I love you.
怎么搞的 what the fuck?
-怎么了 -早上了 早上了 -what up? -Morning. Morning.
我该走了 我该走了 I should get moving. I should get moving.
我肯定是该走了 I should be getting a move on, for sure.
你不用 我是说 没必要 你知道 Yeah, you don't...I mean, you don't have to, you know.
我其实没什么事要做 I don't really have anything going on.
你没必要那么着急出去 You don't have to rush off like that.
你想出去逛逛吗 You wanna hang out?
我本来要去商场 I was gonna go to the mall.
我得去买个新的床罩 I have to get a new comforter.
大学里用 商场应该会卖这个 For college. The mall, they would sell that.
好 那么 Cool. So...
你妈妈真是巨乳 ...your mom's got huge tits.
你觉得怎样 what do you think?
不知道 别问我 I don't know, man. Don't ask me.
因为我从来不注意裤子的式样 Because I don't give a shit how pants look.
对 我需要听听别人的意见 Yeah, I need someone's opinion.
这些太紧了 真是太紧了 Those are too tight. Those are way too tight.
-是 不过 -是太紧了 你该买大一号的 -Yeah, but, like...-way too tight. You need to upgrade.
这裤子没把该包着的地方包起来 应该再大点 There's not enough pants where there should be. More pants.
是 不过 我是说 你看这样怪吗 Yeah, but...I mean, does it look weird?
好像你站的姿势就很怪 Looks like you're standing funny.
你不该那么站 像鸭子一样 You wouldn't stand like that. Like a duck.
是 不过我是在模仿 Yeah, but I'm doing like...
-我是在摆大学生的姿势 -我不知道你像不像 -I'm doing the college poses like...-I don't know if you are.
-你也许只是 -教授 -You might just be doing...-Hey, prof.
-好 -那次测验 -Okay. -That test was... .
苏珊 你今晚来不来 Hey, Susan. Are you gonna party tonight or no?
不过就是 我还是希望那些地方有裤子包着 Yeah, but that's just...It's like I wish there were more pants where...
你知道 就是这裤子没包住的地方 You know, where there aren't.
不过在我穿你爸爸的裤子的时候 But when I was wearing your dad's pants...
我就发现 要是我穿稍微小一点的裤子 ...I realized that if I wear pants that are a little too small...
也许我就更愿意减肥 ...it might encourage me to lose weight.
再说 那些小妞可以看见 And also, chicks can kind of see, like...
稍微看见一点我的小弟弟的轮廓 ...you know, the borders and outline of my dick a little.
是 老兄 她们对这个很着迷的 Yeah, man, they go nuts for that.
男人的骆驼蹄子 The male camel toe.
对 骆驼蹄子 就是这样 Yeah, the camel tail. It's right...
我知道这种样子出现在什么地方 I know where it is, where it happens.
好像就是那里 Like, right there.
因为裤子太紧了 It's like they're so tight
所以有一个蛋蛋就被挤到我的小弟弟上面去了 that one ball is, like, above my dick, even.
-是 没错 -就像一分为三 -Yeah, exactly. -It's like three.
好像三样东西 蛋蛋 鸡巴 蛋蛋 It's like a three thing. It's like ball, dick, ball.
这好像是分界标志 It's like a division sign.
好比很多人挤在一辆小车里 Like a bunch of people crammed into a van.
-我的屁股看起来很怪 -有很多地方看起来很怪 -Making my ass look weird? -It makes a lot of stuff look weird.
不 这裤子太紧了 No, those are way too tight.
你说得对 这看起来很傻 咱们还是出去吧 You're right, these look stupid. Let's get the fuck out of here.
我真的很抱歉 真不敢相信我做了那样的事 I'm really sorry about that. I can't believe I actually did that.
要你给我买个新的 我觉得很不好意思 I feel bad that I'm making you buy me a new one.
这好像 有点荒唐 It's seems, like, ridiculous.
不 我非买不可 被吐过就太恶心了 No. I have to, it's puke. It's gross.
天哪 Oh, my God.
酒鬼会不会有宿醉 Do alcoholics get hangovers?
我操 我操 我操 是她们 Holy shit, holy shit, holy shit. It's them.
-我们该怎么办 老兄 -别停下 我不知道 -what the fuck do we do, man? -Don't stop. I don't know.
怎么样 How's it going?
真高兴 你们感觉怎样 It's so good to...How are you feeling?
不是最好 不过我没事 你呢 I've felt better. But I'll be fine. How about you?
我很好 你知道 昨晚你开心吗 I'm okay, you know, yeah. Did you have fun last night?
其实我有很多事记不起来了 You know, I actually don't remember much.
我什么都不记得了 I don't remember anything.
-真怪 -什么都没 -So weird. -Nothing.
我没吐在你身上吧 有吗 I didn't puke on you, did I?
你没有 我记得你 我躲开了 You didn't. I remember that you...I avoided it.
正好吐在我边上 然后我说 离我远点 It whizzed right by me, and I said, "Stay away from me," you know.
对昨晚的事我真的很抱歉 我只想 I'm really sorry about everything last night, and I just... .
谢谢你 表现得那么君子 Thank you for being such a nice guy about it all.
那没什么 That's okay, you know.
至少你的眼睛没有乌青 At least you don't have a black eye from it.
-真是难看 -是 -That looks terrible. -Yeah.
你很好看 你一点不难看 那里只是 有点青肿 You look great. You don't look terrible. It's just, like, a bad bruise.
其它地方都很好看 就是 就是在那块地方 Everything's great, just from he...This, just like right there.
-你的眼睛 -你的眼睛 -Your eye. -Yeah, your eye.
其它地方都很好看 Everything else is great.
不过说真的 昨晚我太白痴了 But seriously, I acted like a fucking idiot last night.
不该那样对你 我很抱歉 You don't deserve that. So I'm sorry.
不过话说回来 我觉得你有一只乌青眼显得很酷 On the upside, I think you look cool with a black eye.
我只想把它摔出去 我不 我不知道 I'm just gonna throw that out there. I don't...I don't know.
谢谢你 机灵鬼 谢谢 我就是为这事来的 well, thank you, smart guy. Thanks. That's actually why I'm here.
因为我得搞一堆化妆品才能拍毕业照 Because I have to get a ton of cover-up for the grad photo.
该死 Oh, man. Fuck.
我得给朱尔丝买个新的床罩 And I'm gonna get Jules a new comforter.
我也要买床罩 大学里用的 I have to get a comforter too. For college.
-是吗 -对 我刚想起我需要一个 -Oh, yeah? -Yeah, I just figured I would need one.
那么 塞思 So, Seth... .
你要给我买点化妆品吗 So do you wanna come buy me cover-up or something?
我是说 你欠我的 I mean, you kind of owe me.
对 当然要买 我很乐意 Yeah, definitely. I would love to do that.
去年我长了好多粉刺 I had such bad acne last year...
所以我对这种东西很在行 ...that I pretty much became, like, an expert on the stuff.
是你开的车 是埃文开车带我来的 所以 well, you drove. Evan drove me here, though, so... .
这样 那么 我是说 我开我爸爸的车来的 well, so...well, I mean, I have my dad's car.
所以我可以让你搭车 So I could just give you a lift...
而埃文可以送贝卡回家 ...and then Evan could take Becca home.
要是这样行的话 我不知道你们是不是顺路 If that works. I don't know if it's in your route.
我没问题 It'd be fine with me.
好 也许我们还可以去吃点东西 Fine, yeah. Maybe we can get some food.
好 我喜欢 Yeah, I'd like that.
那么我回头再给你打电话 So I guess I'll call you, then.
好 给我打电话 你知道我的号码 Yeah, give me a call. Yeah, you have my number.
我有你的号码 那么你送她吧 I have your information. So put her there.
太好了 好的,哥们 Perfect. Good. All right, man.
-好 -好的 -Okay. -Okay, guys.
-贝卡 -再见 -Becca. -Bye, guys.
-再见 玩得开心 -回头见 朱尔丝 -Bye, have fun. -See you, Jules.
好 那很好 太好了 Yeah, that's funny. Too funny.
你想上哪去吃 where do you wanna go to eat?
你可以认真地帮我参谋一下 该买什么化妆品吗 So can you honestly help me figure out what kind of cover-up to get?
我爱你 I love you.