译制：言说必瑜 【不离字幕组】荣誉出品
这是我最爱的房间 This is my favorite room.
大多数时候我都爱它 Most days I love it,
因为我能透过窗户想象到我在外面玩的样子 because I can imagine the glass falling away and I'm outside.
我离不开我的房间 I don't leave my house.
我已经17年没离开过了 I haven't left my house in 17 years.
如果我到外面去，我就会死 If I went outside, I'd die.
很抱歉这听起来可能有点郁闷 Sorry to sound morose.
我的衣物都要经过辐射消毒 Irradiators sterilize my clothes.
我有100条白色T恤 I own 100 white T-shirts.
那是我的标准制服 It's my standard uniform.
气闸舱是围绕着前门的一个密闭房间 The airlock is a sealed room surrounding the front door.
它是密封的 It's airtight.
门打开了也不会有什么东西漏出去 Nothing can leak into the house when the door's open.
并不是我不想出去 It's not that I don't want to go outside.
而是我不能 I can't.
一点小病毒就能杀了我，我对一切东西过敏 Simple viruses can kill me. It's like I'm allergic to everything.
我吃的东西，碰的东西，都会带来一定后果 What I eat, what I touch, they all have consequences.
我患有重症联合免疫缺陷 I have severe combined immunodeficiency.
我的免疫系统紊乱 My immune system sucks.
有一张图可以解释 Here's a drawing to explain.
人类的每一滴血中都包含着一个叫淋巴细胞的特殊细胞 In every drop of blood there are special cells called lymphocytes.
你好 Hello.
这些淋巴细胞很擅长对付一些坏东西 Some of these lymphocytes are really good at fighting bad guys,
比如病毒，细菌 like viruses and bacteria.
但是我得了重症联合免疫缺陷 But I have SCID,
那就意味着我体内比正常人少了很多淋巴细胞 which means I have way fewer lymphocytes than normal.
呃呃 Uh-Oh.
我所拥有的淋巴细胞 And the ones that I do have,
他们不擅长消灭坏蛋 well, they're not so good at fighting.
我妈妈让我加入了一个支援小组 My mom made me join a support group.
他们中有一些人也得了这种病 Some of them are really sick.
他们在社交活动中也过的很艰难 Others have a hard time with social interactions.
至少，我还有互联网 At least I have the Internet.
我锻炼身体 I exercise.
我读了很多的书 I read a lot of books.
做完这些，我会写些短评 When I'm done, I write short reviews.
我在网上报了一个建筑学网络班 I take an architecture class online.
我每做好一个新的模型，就放一个宇航员进去 Whenever I make a new model, I put an astronaut inside.
我能懂他的感受 I can relate to him.
我感觉自己就像个滞留在太空的宇航员 I feel like an astronaut, stranded in space.
每天都千篇一律 Every day feels exactly the same.
可能今天会不一样吧 Maybe today's different.
从车上下来，奥利 Get off the truck, Olly.
嗨 Hi.
如果你生病了 If you're going to have an illness
就需要有人不断的来看望你是否还活着 that requires someone to constantly watch if you're still breathing,
这足以让一个母亲变成一个医生 it's convenient for your mother to be a doctor.
我被诊断出患有重症联合免疫缺陷相当早 I was diagnosed with SCID pretty early.
在我耳朵被感染了八次之后我妈妈终于弄清楚了我的病 My mom figured out what was wrong with me after eight ear infections
对了还有两次肺炎 and two cases of pneumonia.
我还是个婴儿的时候我的体重就没增长 I couldn't gain any weight as a baby.
大多数孩子在两岁以前不可能发生这种情况 Most kids don't make it past two years old.
惠蒂尔医生 Doctor Whittier.
今天是我生日 Today's my birthday.
我18岁了 I'm 18.
在这儿没什么特殊意义 Which means nothing inside here.
这张病人们常常看到脸 This is the face her patients normally see,
有点淡漠，也有点关心 slightly distant, concerned.
我想知道状况是否令人欣慰 I wonder if they find it comforting.
真的 I do.
你就没休息过一天 You didn't have to take the day off.
我总是放假休息 I always take the day off.
今天你想干嘛 What do you want to do today?
做些我们经常做的 Same thing we always do.
Spatlit...
这是什么意思 What does that say?
- 就是Spotlight啊 - 不行，没有这个词 - Spotlight. - No, it doesn't.
你不擅长拼音拼字游戏 You're not good at phonetic Scrabble.
因为你那个词根本不存在啊 Because it doesn't make any sense.
你是总想玩这个游戏 You're the one who always wants to play.
这是你爸最爱的游戏 It was your dad's favorite game.
他也打败过你吗 Did he beat you, too?
对啊 Yeah.
但是他有时候会故意让我赢 But he let me win sometimes.
- 我不能那样做 - 为什么不能 - I can't do that. - Why not?
我爱上你了 I'm in love with you.
振作起来 Snap out of it!
我做不到 I can't.
我去开门 I'll get it.
呆在这 Stay here.
你不会来参加婚礼 And you won't come to the wedding.
我会来参加婚礼 I'll come to the wedding.
那我告诉你，你不必来了 I am telling you, you can't come.
嗨 Hi.
额，我妈妈送过来一盘这个，这不是很好 Um, my mom sent a Bundt. It's not very good.
但这是我们妈妈每搬到一个地方都会做的一件事 It's kind of a thing our mom does every time we move in somewhere.
她叫我们带一份这个给邻居，所以... She'll make us bring one to the neighbor, so...
实际上，更多的是一份歉意吧 It's actually more of, uh, an apology than an introduction.
为什么会有歉意？ What's she apologizing for?
因为我们搬过来 For moving in.
哦，真是太友好了 Oh, that's nice.
实际上，这东西我不能收 Actually, I can't accept that.
为什么？ Why not?
这问题比较复杂 It's complicated.
但是请替我谢谢你们的妈妈 But please thank your mother for me,
欢迎新邻居的到来 and welcome to the neighborhood.
你女儿在吗 Is your daughter around?
哦，原来这就是你为啥要来 So, that's why you came.
- 那不是我来的原因 - 是的，就是 - That's not why I came. - Yeah, it is. Yep.
不，她不在 No, she isn't.
你下次带着这盘来吧 You take the Bundt next time.
好的，把它当个帽子带着 Oh, right. Wear it as a hat.
小心点 Watch it.
麦德兰，你想继续看完这部电影吗 Madeline, do you want to finish the movie?
我想知道那盘蛋糕味道怎么样 I'd rather know what a Bundt cake tastes like.
那很糟糕 It's dry.
你不会错过任何东西的 You're not missing out on anything.
不，错过了一切 No, just everything.
这儿有张知道我还活着的简短的人员清单 There's a short list of people that know I'm alive.
我妈妈，我的护士，卡拉，还有她女儿罗莎 My mom, my nurse, Carla, and her daughter, Rosa.
我不会忘记卡拉跟我们在一起多久了 I can't remember Carla not being with us.
她在这工作已经15年了 She's been working here for 15 years.
有时候，我会觉得她和我一样都被困在这儿了 Sometimes, I think she's trapped inside here with me.
- 早安，卡拉 - 嗯嗯 - Morning, Carla. - Mmm-hmm.
生日快乐（西班牙语） Feliz cumpleaños.
谢谢你 Thank you!
太感谢了 Thank you so much.
哇哦，还有注释 Ooh, una nota.
有点糟糕 That's terrible.
你好，奥利 Hi, Olly.
嗨，玛蒂 Hi, Maddy.
我告诉自己当奥利给我发短信的时候，我不能马上就回复 I tell myself I won't text back immediately when Olly texts me.
得等一会儿再回短信 And then I text back. Immediately.
你被软禁了吗？ Are you on house arrest?
你为什么会觉得我被软禁了 Why do you think I'm on house arrest?
自从我们搬到这儿来我就没看到你出过门 'Cause I haven't seen you outside once since we got here.
额 Um...
我没被软禁，但是我也不能出门 I'm not on house arrest, but I can't leave the house.
太神秘了 Very mysterious.
你是个幽灵吗 Are you a ghost?
如果我邻居家的女孩不是活人的话那可算是走运了 'Cause, it would just my luck that the girl next door is not actually alive.
我想，我有98％的把握我还活着 I'm, like, 98% sure that I'm alive.
嗯 Hmm.
那麽是怎么回事，难道是一个男人，把你搞怀孕了？ So, what is it? Is it a guy? Are you knocked up?
我的天哪，额，如果是会怎么样？ Oh, my God. Well, what if I was?
我应该会比较抵触 I'd be conflicted.
抵触什么？ About what?
你有男朋友吗 Do you have a boyfriend?
我没男朋友，我也没怀孕 No. I don't have a boyfriend, and I'm not pregnant.
你一天怎么想的，我怎么可能怀孕 Have you spent all day thinking that I was pregnant?
额，有点像 Yeah, kind of.
我是说，和一个怀孕的女孩调情会很尴尬，所以... I mean, it would have been awkward flirting with a pregnant girl, so...
没错 Right.
你不想知道我有没有女朋友吗 Don't you wanna know if I have a girlfriend?
不想知道 No.
我受伤了 I'm hurt.
我是说，伤我心了 I mean, that stings.
那，你是从哪儿搬来的 So, where'd you move here from?
波士顿，但我老家在纽约 Boston, but I'm from New York.
我想搬回去 I wanna move back.
我总是幻想我能在纽约的一家面包店工作 I always imagined myself working in a bakery in New York.
你知道的，就像电影《月色撩人》中的尼古拉斯凯奇 You know, like Nicolas Cage in that movie, Moonstruck?
哦不 No.
振作起来 "Snap out of it!"
这是电影台词 It's from the movie.
是的，我猜到了 Yeah, I figured.
好了，来玩个游戏，说出最爱的五种东西是什么 All right, here's a game. Fast Five Favorites.
- 好了吗？ - 好了 - Okay? - Okay.
那么有：书，词语，颜色，坏习惯，人 So, book, word, color, vice, person.
额，好的，额 Um... Okay. All right. Um...
我得想想 So, I guess...
拜托，要快速回答，不要考虑 Come on. Type faster. Don't think about it.
好的，没问题，书是《小王子》 Okay. All right. The Little Prince.
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- 最爱的词语是“怕老婆” - 哇哦 - Uxorious. - Ooh.
- 颜色是海蓝色 -嗯 - Aquamarine. - Hmm.
我没有坏习惯 I don't have any vices.
最爱的人是我妈妈 And my mom.
拜托，每个人都有坏习惯 Oh, come on. Everyone has vices.
你有多少坏习惯 How many vices do you have?
多的可以选出一个最喜欢的 Enough to choose a favorite.
- 轮到你了 - 好吧 - Your turn. - All right.
- 书是《蝇王》 - 呃呃 - Lord of the Flies. - Uh-huh.
- 词是“毛骨悚然” - 好的 - Macabre. - Okay.
颜色是黑色 Black.
坏习惯是小偷小摸 Uh, petty theft.
最爱的是我妹妹 And my sister.
《蝇王》？ Lord of the Flies?
那么，你很凄惨啊 So, you're bleak.
有人告诉我，我的未来满目疮痍 I've been told that I have a poor outlook on life.
对的 Right.
你的父母都在这儿吗 Are your parents still together?
额，我爸爸去世了 Um, my dad's dead,
所以，没有都在这儿 so, no.
额 Oh.
哇哦，太尴尬了，我真的不知道我为什么那么... Whoa, that was really awkward. I don't know why I made that so...
- 我不该问的 - 不，只是... - I shouldn't have asked. - No, it's, um...
他和我哥哥死于一次交通事故 He died in a car accident with my brother.
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
你没去旧金山瓦利中学上学吗？ You don't go to SF Valley High?
没，我不去学校 No, I don't go to school.
我在网上学习 I go online.
为什么 Why?
我生病了 I'm sick.
额，你快死了吗 Oh, are you dying?
现在不会 Not right now.
很快了吗？ Soon?
如果我出了这房子，可能就快了 If I left the house, yeah, probably.
是什么病？ What is it?
这病叫重症联合免疫缺陷 It's called severe combined immunodeficiency.
这意味着我的身体不能同病毒和感染斗争 So, it means my body can't fight bacteria or infections.
有治疗方法吗 Is there a cure?
如果是常见的重症联合免疫缺陷，可以治疗 For common kinds of SCID, yeah.
但我这不常见 But I am very uncommon.
你得为我感到难过 You're feeling sorry for me.
你简直对不起我 You're totally feeling sorry for me.
不不不，我... No, no, no. I, um...
是的 Yeah.
我不为你感到难过 I'm not feeling sorry for you.
- 呃呃 - 你现在还活着呢 - Uh-huh. - You're alive now.
- 你可以上网 - 嗯嗯 - You have the Internet. - Mmm-hmm.
所以我不能为你难过 So, I don't feel sorry for you.
好的 Good.
我希望可以见到你真人 I wish I could meet you in person.
是的，我也是 Yeah. Me, too.
等着，到窗子这儿来 Wait, come to the window.
电脑上有啥有趣的东西 What's so interesting on that laptop?
额，没什么 Um, nothing.
肯定有事儿 It's not nothing.
一些让你笑的事儿 Something's making you laugh.
只是一只猫的视频 It's just cat videos.
你不会想看的，卡拉 You don't wanna see this one, Carla.
那只猫死了 The cat dies.
你就是个糊涂蛋 You're an idiot.
我不是糊涂蛋 I'm not an idiot.
你就是糊涂蛋，撒谎都不会 You are an idiot, and you're not a good liar.
你只需要告诉我你想告诉我的事情就行了 You mean to tell me that the only thing you could think to say
就是那是一只死猫的事儿吗？ was that it was a dead cat?
所以，你知道了吗 So, you know?
如果我之前还不知道的话，那我现在算是知道了 If I didn't know before, I do now.
你藏不住任何秘密 You're not very good at hiding things.
我看到你翻电子邮件，还透过窗子去找他 I see you checking your email and looking for him out the window.
他能来拜访吗？ Maybe he could visit?
额 Huh.
年轻人果然都一样 Teenagers are all the same.
不可以来吗 Is that a no?
他可以消毒净化，只需要半个小时而已 He'd get decontaminated, and it would just be for a half hour.
你疯了吗 Are you crazy?
如果你在这呆了18年你不会想这样吗 Wouldn't you be if you'd been inside for 18 years?
不会 No.
他净化后，坐在我房间前面 He'd get decontaminated, and then he'd sit across the room from me,
很远很远的位置 like, far, far away.
我们想要的东西总是会得不到 We can't always get what we want.
而且你妈妈也不会同意的 Your mother would never let you.
我们不必告诉她 We don't have to tell her.
撒谎是件很容易的事儿吗？ Is it that easy to lie?
你知道的，那比我想的容易多了 You know, it's easier than I thought.
额 Huh.
你知道吗，我想我得回家查查罗莎的上网记录了 You know what, I'm gonna go home and look on Rosa's Internet history.
罗莎是除她们之外唯一一个被允许进来的人 Rosa's the only other person allowed inside,
但是她秋天就得去密歇根了 but she's leaving for Michigan in the fall.
她会遇见新朋友，而我仍然呆在这儿 She'll meet new people, and I'll still be here.
他看起来怎么样？ What does he look like?
罗莎 Rosa.
什么情况？ What?
好吧，我猜他很可爱 Okay, I guess he's cute.
我不同意 I don't believe you.
对，或许他只是我靠想象虚构出来的 Yeah, maybe he is a figment of my imagination.
就像真的非常漂亮的海市蜃楼 Just like a really good-looking mirage.
终于有些东西让你产生兴趣了 Things are finally getting interesting for you.
但我得走啦 And I'm leaving.
你们在说什么呢？ What are you guys talking about?
没什么 Nothing.
罗莎来吧，我们是时候回家了 Come on, Rosa, it's time for us to go home.
收到奥利弗布莱特的来电 Connected to Oliver Bright's iPhone.
我在这儿呢 I'm right here.
这也太简单了 That was way too easy.
嘿，在看什么呢 Hey, what you looking at?
没什么 Nothing.
这是件新毛衣吗？ Is that a new sweater?
对啊 Yeah.
卡拉已经消过毒了 Carla irradiated it.
你从哪得到的 And where'd you get it?
罗莎送的 From Rosa.
嗯，很漂亮，你穿着很好看 Mmm, it's nice. You look pretty.
你听我说 You listen to me.
你就呆在房间那边 You stay on your side of the room,
他呆在他这边 he stay on his.
我也告诉他了相同的事 I already told him the same thing.
你在说什么呢 What are you talking about?
你呆在你这边别动 You stay on your side,
他呆在那那边 he stays on his.
他来了 He's here.
谁来了 Who's here?
奥利 Olly.
如果你听懂了就点头 Nod if you understand.
我担心你都没有表达能力了 I'm worried you're losing your motor skills.
为什么 Why?
因为我不喜欢拒绝你 Because I'm terrible at saying no.
因为这是你值得拥有的东西 Because you deserve a little something.
你想穿着这个去吗 Is that what you're gonna wear?
你就呆在那边吗？ You just gonna stay over there?
卡拉说我得和你保持尽可能远的距离 Carla said that I had to stay as far away from you as possible.
很棒 Cool.
你就静静的站着吧 You're standing really still.
也许你可以进来 Maybe you should come in.
对，对 Yeah. Yeah.
我可以 I could do that.
你真的跟我想象中的不一样 You're really different than I thought you were gonna be.
我知道 I know.
更性感，对吗？ Sexier, right?
我懂得，你只是有点紧张，没事的，你承认吧 I understand, you're nervous. It's all right, you can admit it.
我有点紧张 I am nervous.
好吧，我也是 All right. Well, so am I.
我喜欢这房间 I like this room.
没错 Yeah.
我妈妈造了这间屋让我感觉我是呆在外面一样 Um, my mom built it so that I could feel like I was outside.
这有用吗？ Does it work?
大多数时间有用吧 Most days.
我是个幻想主义者 I have a really excellent imagination.
玻璃城堡里的玛德琳公主 Princess Madeline in her glass castle.
我不是个公主 I'm not a princess.
很好 Good.
因为我也不是王子 Because I'm not a prince.
那，额，你生病多长时间了 So, uh, how long have you been sick?
我的整个人生 My whole life.
我是说，如果你出去会怎么样 I mean, what would happen if you went outside?
可能等同于自杀吧 Probably spontaneous combustion.
那我们都呆在里面吧 We'll stay inside.
没错，这是个好主意 Yeah, that's a good idea.
你离开过这个房子吗 Have you ever left this house?
额，没有 Uh, no.
你想去哪 Where would you go?
如果你可以的话 If you could.
海洋 The ocean.
海洋，为什么？ The ocean? Why?
因为它占据了这颗星球的72％ Well, it covers 72% of the planet.
而且距离这儿只有大约3英里 And it's approximately 3 miles from here.
我却从来没看到过 And I've never seen it.
这是个坏选择 It's a bad choice.
为什么 Why?
我猜你肯定不会游泳 I'm assuming you can't swim.
对，没错 Yeah, you're right.
但是我可以尝试一下 But I'd like to try.
我敬仰大海 I respect the ocean.
我是说，它很美，但它也没有人性，很残忍 I mean, it's beautiful. It's impersonal, it's murderous.
大自然就是她的母亲 It's Mother Nature at her finest.
我是说，波浪会席卷而来 I mean, the point of waves
从你脚下将你束缚，那样你很快就会淹死 is to suck your feet out from under you so that you drown faster.
没错 Right.
什么都看不见，只有黑暗侵袭而来 Didn't see that dark turn coming.
对的，额 Yeah, well...
其实我很擅长倒立 I'm really good at handstands.
是吗？ Yeah?
你还会什么 What else can you do?
额，哥们 Oh, man.
我想那可多了 I'm afraid that's pretty much it.
你们没有接触吧，对吗？ You didn't touch, right?
没有 No.
没有接触 No touching.
你的脸 Your face!
怎么？红了么？ What? Is it red?
我知道了 I can see it.
你走神了，全想那个人去了 You're completely gone and you barely know him.
我告诉你我们都站在各自两边的 I thought you were on our side!
我只是帮帮忙 I'm just facilitating.
你...额...你觉得我还能再见到他吗？ Do you, um, think I could see him again?
额 Hmm.
一周后再说，我得确保你没事 In a week. I wanna make sure you're okay.
在那之前我可怎么过哟 What am I supposed to do until then?
额 Hmm.
你上次写评论是什么时候 When was the last time you posted a review?
额？ Hmm?
嘿，你在哪 Hey, where are you?
在威尼斯滑冰 Skating in Venice.
见鬼 Oh, Shit.
抱歉，玛蒂 I'm sorry, Maddy.
不不不，你应该好好享受 No, no, no. You should enjoy that.
为了我们 For us both.
没有你很无聊 It's boring without you.
是什么让你觉得有我在会更好一些 What makes you think that I'd make it any better?
这儿没女孩子，我得跟谁耍帅去呀 Well, there are no girls here, so who am I supposed to show off to?
那麽，听着 So, listen, um,
周二，卡拉要休息一晚上 on Tuesday, Carla has the night off,
我妈妈要上双班 and my mom's working a double shift,
所以我想你可能可以过来 So I figured maybe you'd come over
我们可以通过日光浴室看烟火 And we could watch the fireworks from the sunroom.
等等，星期二吗？ Wait, Tuesday?
那天7月4日 That's July Fourth.
对，你已经有约了吗？ Yeah. Do you have plans or something?
不，我没那么受欢迎 No. I'm not very popular.
那我可真荣幸呀 Lucky for me then, I guess.
那么，额，我想我们一会儿能见到 So, um, I guess I'll see you then.
好的，我们一会儿见，玛蒂 All right. I will see you then, Maddy.
好的，拜拜，奥利 Okay, bye, Olly.
拜拜 Bye.
我不知道我和卡拉怎么会有交集的 I don't know how Carla and I got our wires crossed.
我不想留你一个人呆一晚上，今天是7月4日 I don't wanna leave you alone tonight. It's the Fourth of July.
你懂得，我会看看有没有人可以给我打掩护吧 You know, I'll see if someone can cover for me.
你知道我能照顾好自己 You know, I'll be fine.
- 你确定？ - 当然，我没事的 - You sure? - Yeah, I'll be okay.
你想干点什么 What are you gonna do?
我想想看看书或者看点别的 I guess just read a book or something.
那么，微积分是由数学变迁而来的 So, calculus is the mathematics of change.
它不能预测未来，但也可以说明一点 It doesn't necessarily predict the future, but it does indicate it.
说明什么？ Indicate what?
说明人类无法预知未来 Well, that people are unpredictable.
我真的不觉得你像是懂数学的人 I didn't really see you as a math person.
为什么不想？ Why not?
我想是因为你报了暑假补习班 I guess 'cause you're in summer school.
好吧，额，那是... Right. Well, that's...
那只是因为我爸爸给我搬了好多次家 That's just 'cause my dad moves around a lot.
现在就像是省略号一样 This is an ellipsis.
这代表我们是在尴尬的沉默 Does that mean that we're having an awkward silence
还是你在思考问题 or that you're thinking?
两个原因都有 Both.
你在思考什么 What are you thinking about?
我在思考我们可能应该同意彼此只做朋友 I'm thinking that we should probably agree to just be friends.
我觉得你不必如此拘谨 I don't think you have that kind of restraint.
我的整个生命都是如此拘谨 Well, my life is an exercise in restraint, so...
那意味着我不能再看你的嘴唇了吗 Does this mean I can't look at your lips anymore?
不是 No.
你的酒窝？ Your dimple?
我没有酒窝 I don't have dimples!
你的头发 Your hair.
做朋友吧 Friends!
省略号 Ellipsis.
你让我想呆在洛杉矶 You make me wanna stay in Los Angeles.
为什么要走 Why would you go?
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
我想离你近一点 I'm moving closer to you.
那没问题吗？ Is that okay?
没问题 Yes, it's okay.
好吧 Okay.
我原本想告诉你我们不能赌运气，但是我做不到 I should tell you we shouldn't push our luck, but I can't.
我也不想那样说 I don't want to.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
是的 Yes.
你好，小公主 Hello, Little Prince.
你总是这样吗？ Is it always like that?
我从来没有过 It's never like that.
你确定你的病不会发作？你感觉好吗？ Are you sure you're not sick? You feel fine?
我感觉很好 Yeah, I feel fine.
不是一般的好，实际上，我感觉特别完美 Better than fine, actually. I feel pretty perfect.
即使我们触碰了也没事？ Even though we touched?
没事的 We did.
同呼吸，共命运 Shared the same breath.
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是的，我们做到了 Yeah, we did.
亲吻 Kissed.
正如我所说，完美 Like I said, perfect.
嘿，晚安吧 Hey. goodnight.
晚安 Goodnight.
我曾经读到过一则内容 I read once that we change
我们每两周就会更替皮肤表层细胞 the upper layers of our skin every two weeks.
但是有一些细胞却不会更替 But some of our cells don't renew.
他们慢慢变老，我们也就慢慢变老 They age, and age us.
这意味着两周后我嘴唇细胞就不会记得我曾经亲过奥利 In two weeks, my lips will have no memory of kissing Olly.
但是我的大脑会记得 But my brain will remember.
对，对的，走开，爸爸 Yeah, that's right, walk away, Dad.
别碰它，奥利 Leave it alone, Olly.
走开 Walk away!
这不关你事，知道吗？ It's not your problem, okay?
不关我的事吗？是不关我的事 It's not my problem? It's not my problem.
你现在真的要这样跟我说？ You really just say that to me right now?
你最好别插手这件事 Stay out of it!
- 别插手这事？ - 对 - Stay out of it, huh? - Yeah.
别插手，那怎么做，怎样才叫别插手 Stay out of it. How's that? How's that for staying out of it?
- 真的吗 - 够了 - Really? - Enough!
玛德琳？ Madeline?
奥利 Olly!
- 玛蒂？玛蒂，你在干嘛？ - 你还好吗？ - Maddy? Maddy, what are you doing? - Are you okay?
玛德琳？ Madeline?
你受伤了吗？你没事吧？ Are you hurt? Are you okay?
我没事，你在干嘛，快回去，快 I'm okay. What are you doing? Go back inside! Go!
玛德琳，玛德琳 Madeline! Madeline!
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
我不明白，你为什么那样做 I don't understand. Why would you do that?
抱歉，我必须确保他没事 I'm sorry. I had to make sure that he was okay.
- 你碰了什么东西没有？ - 没有 - Did you touch anything? - No.
你碰了什么东西没有？ Did you touch anything?
没有，没有，在外面不超过一分钟 No, no. It was less than a minute.
一秒钟都不行 A second is all it takes.
对不起 I'm sorry.
你为什么要为了一个陌生人去冒上生命危险 Why would you risk your life for a total stranger?
我没事 I'm okay.
他不是陌生人，对吧 He's not a stranger, is he?
我们只是网上认识的朋友 We're just friends online.
网上 Online...
你怎么想的 How could you?
她是对的 She's right.
在消毒浴中浸泡足足四小时，第二天早上醒来可能还是会生病 Four hours soaking in an antiseptic bath, and I could still wake up tomorrow sick.
四小时可以去记住世界上的一切 Four hours trying to remember everything about being in the world.
但我什么也没记住，只记住奥利吼我快到屋子里去 I can't remember any of it. Just Olly yelling at me to go inside.
我对奥利的处境深感遗憾 I'm sorry Olly's in that situation.
没人该遇到那样的父亲 No one deserves a father like that.
我也深感遗憾 I'm sorry, too.
他是不是真的像看起来那样没事？ Does it look like he's okay?
我不知道 I don't know.
我可以叫人去跟他聊聊，看看他是否安好 I could have someone talk to him and see if he's all right.
我觉得他不会想别人知道他的私事 I don't think he wants anyone to know.
他只是在保护他的妈妈 He was trying to protect his morn.
他不会想去谈论任何事情 He doesn't like to talk about everything.
我所了解到的一些事情跟你不一样 I knew something was different with you.
我起码已经知道他来给我们送蛋糕的那件事了 I should've known what it was the moment he came offering Bundt cake.
你知道你可以跟我谈心的 You could've come to me, you know.
我想过，但我不想让你担心 I wanted to. I just didn't want to worry you.
你觉得他怎么样 What's he like?
他穿着黑衣服 Well, he wears black,
一直都是 all of the time.
但是他并不像他看起来那样玩世不恭 But he's not as cynical as he looks.
他需要个发型 He needs a haircut.
是的，他的确需要 Yeah, he does.
他很善良 He's kind.
我们睡不着觉 We're both really sleep deprived
因为一直在聊天 from talking instead of sleeping.
但我宁愿不睡觉也想跟他聊天 But I'd rather talk to him than sleep.
当我跟他聊天 When I talk to him,
我感觉我就像在外面 I feel like I'm outside.
他觉得 He thinks
我很搞笑，很聪明，也很漂亮 that I'm funny, smart, and beautiful.
按这个顺序说的 In that order.
他本应该这样觉得 As he should.
他的声音很动听 He sounds wonderful.
是的 Yeah, he is.
我希望比起这些你能得到更多东西 I wish you could have more than this.
我知道 I know.
对不起 I'm sorry.
这不是你的错 It's not your fault.
毛伊岛是你爸爸最爱的地方 Maui was your dad's favorite place.
你在那呆过几个月，在我们知道你为什么总是生病之前 You were just a few months old, before we knew why you were always sick.
我希望我永远记得他们 I wish I could remember them.
如果我不这样做，可能一切会变得更简单些 Maybe it'd be easier if I couldn't.
我爱你，你知道的 I love you, you know.
甚至比你所知的还爱你的多 More than you even know.
你不会再见到他了 You can't see him again.
我没见过他 I haven't seen him.
不，你见过的 Yes, you have.
她总是很孤独，她需要... She was so alone, she needed...
你怎么能让他进这屋子 How could you let him into this house?
你怎么能这样做 How could you do this?
你怎么可以邀请一个陌生人进来 How could you invite a stranger in here?
她需要如此 She needed it.
她需不需要不由你来决定，我才是她妈妈 It's not up to you to decide what she needs. I am her mother!
那你也不应该是她的医生啊 You shouldn't be her doctor, too.
抱歉 Excuse me.
她生病了吗？有什么坏事儿发生了吗？ Is she sick? Did something happen?
她跑出去了，因为他，因为你 She went outside because of him. Because of you!
她对我撒了几周的谎 And she's been lying to me for weeks.
你必须离开了 You have to go.
求你了妈妈 Please, Mom.
不会再有这种事发生了 It won't happen again.
不，这说不准 No, it won't.
对不起，卡拉 I'm sorry, Carla.
不要 No.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我知道你们都很伤心 I know this is sad for you both.
我也很伤心 It is sad for me, too,
但现在是时候让卡拉离开了 but it is time for Carla to leave, now.
你现在体温是39度 Your temperature is 103.
我们必须等等看是否能降下来 We have to wait and see if it goes down.
如果抗生素起作用了 If the fluids and antibiotics work.
我没事 I'm not.
早上好，玛德琳 Good morning, Madeline.
你可以叫我珍妮特护士或者普利切特太太 You may address me as Nurse Janet or Mrs. Pritchert.
你更喜欢哪一个呢 Whichever you prefer.
对着空气讲话总是会被忽视 Words spoken to the air tend to go unheeded.
写在纸条上就不会 Words put to paper do not.
我失去了卡拉 I miss Carla.
对，卡拉差点害死了你 Well, Carla almost got you killed.
她是我的朋友 She's my friend.
不，玛德琳，卡拉是你的护士 No, Madeline. Carla was your nurse.
她应该保障你的安全，而不是拿你的生命置身于危险之中 She was supposed to keep you safe, not endanger your life
邀请那些陌生人回家 by inviting strangers into the house.
奥利不是陌生人 Olly isn't a stranger.
他不是你的菜 He's not yours.
什么 What?
他不是你的菜 He's not yours.
或许他现在对你感兴趣，但是等他离开这儿 And maybe he's interested in you now, but he's out there.
他会遇到一些女孩，他就会变成别人的奥利 And he's gonna meet some girl and he's gonna be her Olly.
你懂我的意思吧？ You understand me?
如果卡拉是你的朋友，她就应该给你讲这些 If Carla was your friend, she would have told you that.
爱不会置我于死地，妈妈 Love can't kill me, Morn.
那样说可不对 That's not true.
你这次是运气好 You were lucky this time.
在我妈妈说了那些话后，我这一刻又开始了想象 After what my mom said, I started imagining this moment
奥利把车停在了车道上 where Olly pulls up in the driveway.
有个姑娘在他的车里 And there's this girl in the truck.
这个姑娘被他逗笑了 And the girl laughs at something he says.
把手搭在了他肩上 And puts her hand on his shoulder.
就像我对他笑那样对着他笑 Smiles at him the way I've smiled at him.
我感觉自己笨死了 I feel silly.
为什么人们会自己让自己心碎 Why would anyone set themselves up to have a broken heart?
他会遇到不生病的人 He's going to meet someone who isn't sick.
一些可以离开自己房子的人 Someone who can leave her house.
给他打电话 Call him.
我做不到，我觉得妈妈是对的 I can't. I think my mom's right.
别当个懦夫 Then don't be a coward.
振作起来 Pick up.
不 No.
振作起来 Pick up!
嗨，奥利 Hi, Olly.
那不是真的 It's not true.
是真的，你和我哪有什么未来 It is. What kind of future could you have with me?
我会尽量去保护你 I'm trying to protect you.
保护我？我不想要保护，我只想要你 Protect me? I don't want protection. I want you.
我们不能得到我们想要的一切 Well, we can't have everything that we want.
你不是我的菜 You're not mine.
这是什么意思 What does that mean?
你会遇到其他的女孩，你会变成别人的奥利 There's gonna be another girl, you'll be her Olly.
没有别的女孩 There is no other girl.
这不安全，我在你身边都不会思考了 It's not safe. I don't really think when I'm around you.
思考有点夸张了 Thinking is overrated.
那样就哪儿都去不了了 This isn't going anywhere.
我不想失去你 I don't wanna lose you.
我甚至不能出门 I can't even go outside.
那你真正想失去的什么...? What are you really losing?
亲爱的妈妈 Dear Mom,
首先我得告诉你我很爱你 The first thing is that I love you.
虽然 You already know that,
但是我不知道是否还有机会再跟你讲了 but I may not get the chance to tell you again.
你很聪明，坚强，善良，无私 You are smart and strong and kind and selfless.
因为有你在，我得以苟活了那么久 Because of you, I've survived this long
也懂得了我只是这个世界渺小的一份子 and gotten to know my small part of the world.
但是那还不够 But it's not enough.
我不会仅仅是为了奥利而这样做 I'm not doing this just because of Olly.
或许是为了我自己 Or maybe I am.
当我遇到他 我发现了我生命中崭新的一部分 I found this new part of myself when I met him.
这崭新的一部分不知如何平息，只能先观察观察 And the new part doesn't know how to stay quiet and just observe.
你记得我们第一次一起读《小王子》吗 Do you remember when we first read The Little Prince together?
他在结局死了的时候我很懊恼 I was so upset that he died in the end.
我不明白他为什么会选择死亡 I didn't understand how he could choose death
只是那样做他就可能会重新和玫瑰在一起 so that he could get back to his rose.
我觉得我现在懂了 I think I understand it now.
我不是想选择死亡 I'm not choosing death.
只是如果我不去的话 It's that if I don't go,
我真的不知道该怎么活下去了 I won't really know what it's like to be alive.
我爱你 I love you.
玛蒂 Maddy.
玛蒂，你怎么... Maddy, what the hell's...
嘿，你想死吗？ Hey. Are you trying to kill yourself?
我一直在做基因治疗 I've been doing gene therapy.
你想说什么？ What are you talking about?
我不想告诉你 I didn't want to tell you
因为我不想让你抱有希望 because I didn't want to get your hopes up.
我是说，我不想对自己抱有希望了 I mean, I don't want to get my hopes up.
- 基因治疗？ - 我一直在被实验 - Gene therapy? - I've been on a trial.
你记得我之前说过我的病不与普通的一样吗 Remember how I said that my type of SCID was uncommon?
记得 Yeah.
我现在非常普通了 Well, I'm very common now.
我能去我想去的任何地方 I can go wherever I want.
什么 你不会再犯病了吗？ What, you're not sick anymore?
那就是我正想告诉你的 That's what I'm trying to tell you.
不 No...
不，我不信，别闹了，我们走吧 No, I don't believe you. Come on, let's go.
我骗过你吗 Have I ever lied to you?
没有 No.
那么，为什么我现在要撒谎呢？ So, why would I start now?
听着，如果你不会犯病了 Look, if you're not sick,
为什么看着你像是想逃离这儿呢？ then why does it look like you're running away?
我妈妈仍然很担心 Well, my morn is still worried.
我觉得这有点美好的让人无法相信，回去吧，拜托了 I knew it was too good to be true. Just go back inside, come on.
不，奥利，我必须知道 No, Olly, I have to know.
知道什么 Know what?
我必须知道我是否还会犯病 I need to know if I'm still sick.
唯一的办法就是我在外面呆着，就能看出效果了 And the only way that I'll know is if I'm outside.
你愿意和我一起吗？ Will you come with me?
和你去哪儿？ Come with you where?
- 夏威夷 - 夏威夷？ - Hawaii. - Hawaii?
我买了飞机票 I bought plane tickets.
怎么买的 How?
用信用卡买机票很容易 Credit cards are surprisingly easy to get.
你认真的吗？ You're serious?
加利福尼亚南部有什么毛病呀 What's wrong with Southern California?
- 好了，你呆在这，好吗？ - 好的 - Look, stay here, all right? - Okay.
呆在这儿 Stay here.
这儿 Here.
好的 Okay.
等一下 Wait.
尽量别呼吸 Just try not to breathe.
准备好了吗？ Ready?
我们只呆到周五，好吗？ Just till Friday, okay?
如果有人问起 And if anybody asks,
你就说不知道我在哪 you don't know where I am.
不，我没事 No, I'm fine.
你要好好的 Just be good.
另外照顾好妈妈 And take care of Mom.
我们开的可真快 We're going really fast.
我开到30码吧 I'm going 30.
那很快吗？ Is that fast?
不快 No.
我们能再快点吗？ Can we go faster?
玛德琳，你起床了吗？ Madeline? Are you up?
欢迎登机 Welcome aboard.
所有的行李请放在头顶的行李柜中 All luggage should fit in the overhead compartment
或者放在你前面座椅的下面 or under the seat in front of you.
你感觉怎么样 How you feeling?
惊慌失措 Terrified.
你没事吧 You okay?
这太疯狂了 This is crazy.
嗨 Hi.
你好 Aloha.
别死了 Don't die.
我尽量 I'll try not to.
哇哦 Wow.
一张大床 Big bed.
我找到吃的了 I found food.
那你可真机智啊 That's very resourceful.
- 嗯 - 我想去海里玩 - Mmm. - I wanna go in the water.
好的 Okay.
我想去看一条humuhumunukunukuāpua'a I wanna see a humuhumunukunukuāpua'a.
一条什么？ A what?
就是夏威夷的鱼 It's the Hawaiian state fish.
你说说看 Say it.
那你可是打败我了 You're setting me up to fail.
我们有一个代号10-57的案子，附近收到消息的任何单位，请回复 We have a 10-57. Any units in the vicinity, please respond.
你哥哥在哪 Where is your brother?
额 Uh...
暑假补习班 Summer school.
我觉得你在撒谎 I don't think that's true.
我不知道他们在哪 I don't know where they are.
我在向你寻求帮助 I'm asking you for your help.
玛德琳在哪？ Where's Madeline?
很抱歉 I'm sorry.
玛蒂？ Maddy?
你穿了泳装 You're in a swimsuit.
对，没错 Yeah, I am.
这，额... It's, um...
这有点 It's...
小 Small.
有点小 It's small.
对 Yeah.
- 我还是呆在这外面 - 好的 - I'll just be out here. - Yeah. Okay.
准备好了吗？仰卧，躺平，躺平 Ready? Just lie back. Lay flat. Lay flat.
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额 Uh...
要一起吗 Together?
你知道吗？额... You know what? Um...
我先跳，好吗？ I'll go first. Okay?
好吧，你先来 Yeah, you go first.
下面见 See you at the bottom.
哇哦 Whoo!
♪ 据我所知，她很快乐 ♪ Far as I can tell, she's happy
♪ 和她的麦基一起生活 ♪ Livin' with her Macky
♪ 请别带走 ♪ So please don't take
♪ 我的最爱 ♪ My love
这很奇怪，因为我甚至都不记得这些 It's strange, 'cause I don't even remember them.
我觉得失去一些从来没遇到过的东西，是很奇怪的 I think it's weird to miss something that you never had.
或者说，你懂得，不记得拥有过 Or, you know, don't remember having.
没那么奇怪啦 Not so weird.
我们在这些消失之前到了这儿 We came here before they died.
在我犯病之前 And before I got sick.
你现在不会再犯病了 Well, you're not sick now.
你为什么会搬家 Why would you move?
你已经问过我了 You asked me that already.
是的，但是你没回答我 Yeah, but you didn't answer.
我爸不适合做自己的工作 My dad is not very good at staying employed.
我妈妈觉得被陷住了 And my mom feels trapped.
我就不明白她为什么不离开他 I just don't know why she won't leave him.
你问过她吗 Well, have you asked her?
问过 Yeah.
她什么都没说 She doesn't talk about it anymore,
但她以前常说 but she used to say that,
“等你长大你就明白了” "You'd understand when you get older
‘当你有了你自己的情爱关系’ "and when you have your own relationships."
她说爱情让人疯狂 She says love makes people crazy.
你信吗 Do you believe that?
你呢 Do you?
我是说，我和你在夏威夷这...所以.. Well, I mean, I'm here in Hawaii with you, so...
我是那样想的 I guess so.
你想说你爱上我了吗？ Are you saying you're in love with me?
不，我... No. I...
我只是想说... I'm just saying...
我从来没有离开我的房子过 I never would have left my house
如果不是为了你 if it weren't for you.
我爱你 I love you.
我... I...
在我了解你之前我就爱上你了 I loved you before I knew you.
那，这边是我的，这... So, this is my side. This is...
我喜欢睡在左边 I like to sleep on the left.
嘿，玛蒂 Hey, Maddy.
玛蒂，你没事吧？ Maddy, are you okay?
玛蒂，怎么了？ Maddy, what's wrong?
玛蒂，你没事吧？ Maddy, are you okay?
哇哦，好的，好的 Whoa! Okay. All right.
你发烧了 You're burning up.
玛蒂？玛蒂？ Maddy? Maddy?
玛蒂，你听得到吗 Maddy, can you hear me?
借过 Coming through.
我们需要给她治疗 We just gotta get her to triage.
带她进行2项测试 Let's take her to Exam 2.
能给我一分钟吗 Could you give us a minute?
玛德琳 Madeline?
我的心跳停止了 My heart stopped.
但又开始跳动了 Then it started again.
当我醒来时 When I woke up,
他已经走了 he was gone.
不不不，躺好 No, no, no. Lie down.
躺好，亲爱的 Lie down, honey.
躺好 Lie down.
我没事了吧 Am I okay?
很快就没事了 You're going to be.
你还好吗 Are you okay?
嗯 Yes.
- 你确定吗？ - 嗯，我很好，奥利 - Are you sure? - Yeah. I'm okay, Olly.
能再次和你讲话真好 It's nice to be able to talk to you again.
我试着去拜访你，但你妈妈不允许 I tried to visit, but your mom wouldn't let me.
对不起，我很抱歉我对你做的一切 Yeah, I'm sorry I put you through all of that.
我不会再那样了 I can't do this anymore.
不会怎样？ Can't do what?
不会再发短信 No more texts.
不会再发邮件 No more e-mails.
奥利，一切太艰难了 Olly, this is just too hard.
我妈妈是对的，在此之前生活本该更好的 My morn was right, life was better before.
对谁来说更好 Better for who?
省略号吧 Ellipses.
别这样，玛蒂 Don't do this, Maddy.
省略号 Ellipses.
听着，我的生命因你而更美好 Look, my life is better with you in it.
但我不是 But mine isn't.
你知道，我之前撒谎了 You know, I lied before.
撒什么谎了 About what?
我的确为你深感遗憾 I do feel sorry for you.
明天 Tomorrow,
我会回到医院 I am back at the hospital.
你给我找了个好保姆吗？ Did you find me a good babysitter?
事实上，我觉得你不需要护士了 Actually, I've been thinking maybe you don't need a nurse.
你已经有了一次艰难的教训，我想你不会再重复了 You learned a tough lesson, and I can't imagine you repeating it.
不会了 No.
很好 Good.
我希望你能跟我说说话 I wish you'd talk to me.
我不会再遇到像你这样的女孩了，玛蒂 I'll never meet anyone like you, Maddy.
你看着海洋的时候，就像海洋是为你而存在 You look at the ocean like it was meant for you.
你不会游泳，但是你仍然跳下了悬崖 You jump off cliffs even though you can't swim.
你认为你可以在书本中找到生命的意义 You think you can find the meaning of life in a book.
你没有任何的恶习 You don't have any vices.
你真的应该有点恶习的 You should really get some.
我尝试着不去爱你 I'm trying not to love you.
但我失败了 But I'm failing.
这是我的最后一封邮件 This is my last e-mail.
我们要搬回纽约了 We're moving back to New York.
我们今晚离开，当我爸爸出去喝酒的时候 We're leaving tonight, when my dad's out drinking.
我妈妈想在半夜出发 My mom wants to do it at night,
因为她害怕她做不到 because she's afraid she won't be able to do it
如果我爸站在他面前的话 if he's right in front of her.
我最后给她讲了你的事 I finally told her about you.
她觉得你很勇敢 She thinks you're brave.
和你在一起也使我变得勇敢了 Being with you made me brave.
你好？ Hello?
- 玛德琳·惠蒂尔？ - 对 - Madeline Whittier? - Yes.
嗨，我是来自毛伊岛纪念医院的梅丽莎·弗兰西斯医生 Hi, this is Dr. Melissa Francis from Maui Memorial Hospital.
你当时来的时候我是你的主治医师 I was your attending physician while you were here.
我一直在跟踪你的实验结果报告 I'm just following up on your lab results.
你的心肌炎是由病毒感染引起的 Your myocarditis was caused by a viral infection.
你的免疫系统似乎会衰弱 You seem to have a very weak immune system.
是的，我有重症联合免疫缺陷 Well, I have SCID.
重症联合免疫缺陷？真的吗？你为什么会这样觉得？ SCID? Really? Why would you think that?
我还是个婴儿的时候我就得了这个病 I've had it since I was a baby.
我不明白... I don't know...
如果你有那种严重的免疫缺陷症 If you had that kind of severe immunodeficiency,
你可能会遭受比心肌炎更痛苦的感受 you probably would have suffered more than myocarditis.
怎么回事？ What's going on?
我是真的得病了吗？ Am I sick?
什么？ What?
我是真的得病了吗？ Am I sick?
你感觉不舒服吗？ Do you feel sick?
我不是那意思 That's not what I mean.
你记得在毛伊岛遇到的弗兰西斯医生吗？ Do you remember meeting a Dr. Francis in Maui?
我在毛伊岛遇到过很多医生，怎么了？ I met lots of doctors in Maui, why?
她觉得我没有得重症联合免疫缺陷 She doesn't think I have SCID.
她给了你希望，是吗？ And she got your hopes up, didn't she?
她那样做很不负责任 It was irresponsible of her to do that.
重症联合免疫缺陷异常罕见 S.C.I.D. is so rare
而且非常复杂 and so complicated.
不是每个人都能理解，这有很多种情况 Not everyone understands it. There's just too many types.
每个人的反应情况都不一样 And every person reacts differently.
你懂了吗？ You get that, don't you?
对，你总是这样对我说 Yeah, that's what you've always told me.
你得为你自己了解这些 Well, you just saw it for yourself.
你才刚刚恢复身体 You were fine for a little while,
你差点死在了急救室 and then you almost died in that emergency room.
免疫系统异常复杂 Immune systems are very complicated.
弗兰西斯医生根本不知道你的完整的病史 And Dr. Francis doesn't know your full medical history.
她只看到冰山一角 She's just looking at a tiny fraction.
她不像我一直陪伴着你 She hasn't been here the whole time like I have.
记录在哪，妈妈 Where are the papers, Mom?
你说什么？ What are you talking about?
你记录下来了所有事情 You have records for everything.
但你根本没有重症联合免疫缺陷的记录 But you have nothing about SCID!
记录在哪呢？ Where are the papers?
那些肯定在这 Well, they must be here,
因为我放在... because I keep...
我保留了所有东西，我... I keep everything and I...
你... Did you...
你拿走了吗？ Did you take them?
那些记录？ The papers?
玛德琳 Madeline?
玛德琳，你在干嘛，你没事吧 Madeline, what are you doing? Are you okay?
快进来，快进来 Come inside, come inside.
为什么？ Why?
为什么我必须进去，妈妈 Why do I have to go inside, Mom?
因为你病了，孩子，你病了 Because you're sick, baby. You're sick.
不 No.
玛德琳，求你了，求你了 Madeline, please. Please.
我不会再进去了 I'm not going back inside.
你必须进去 You have to.
我只剩下你了，我不能失去你 You're all I have left. I can't lose you.
求你了 Please.
我生病了吗？ Have I ever been sick?
进去 Come inside.
快进去 Come inside.
快进去，玛德琳 Come inside, Madeline.
玛德琳，不要 Madeline, don't.
玛德琳 Madeline.
玛德琳 Madeline!
我们无法确定你免疫系统的状态 We're not sure about the state of your immune system.
我们感觉你的免疫系统没有发育，跟婴儿的一样 We think it's possible that it's underdeveloped, like an infant's.
无法接触普通病毒和细菌的感染 It hasn't been exposed to common viruses or bacterial infections.
你没有重症联合免疫缺陷 You don't have S.C.I.D.
那为什么我在夏威夷生病了 Why did I get sick in Hawaii?
很正常，健康的人随时都会生病 Well, normal, healthy people get sick all the time.
我给你带了点东西来 I brought you some of your things.
我会带走它因为我想离开了 I'm only taking it because I want you to leave.
你爸爸和你哥哥死了之后 Right after your dad and your brother died,
你特别虚弱 you got so sick.
你不能正常呼吸 You wouldn't breathe right.
我带你去了急诊室，我们在那呆了三天 And I took you to the emergency room, where we had to stay for three days,
他们都搞不清楚你得了什么病 and they couldn't figure out what was wrong with you.
他们说可能是一种过敏吧 They said it was probably some kind of allergy,
他们给我列了一个单子让你去远离那些东西 and they gave me a list of things to stay away from and...
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我... I was...
我很确定真的有一些东西 I was so sure it was something else.
我爱你，玛蒂 I love you, Maddy.
我希望你永远爱我 And I hope you still love me.
对不起 I'm so sorry.
意外已经从我妈妈那里夺走了我爸爸和我哥哥 The universe already took my dad and brother away from my mom.
她也很害怕失去我 She was afraid to lose me, too.
所以她坚信我生病了 So she made herself believe that I was sick.
我完全能理解她的感受 I can understand how she felt. Almost.
我也尽量去理解 I'm trying to.
我妈妈爱着我爸爸 My mother loved my father.
他是她生命中的最爱 He was the love of her life.
她爱着我哥哥 And she loved my brother.
他也是她生命中的最爱 He was the love of her life.
她也爱我 And she loves me.
我也是她生命中的最爱 I am the love of her life.
我想去原谅她 I want to forgive her.
但是现在，我想到的是我所错过的一切 But right now, all I can think about is everything I've missed.
我想去寻找那一刻 I've been trying to find the single moment
使我生命步入正轨的那一刻 that set my life on its path.
世界上也许会有我真的生病的这种可能 Maybe there's a version of my life where I'm sick.
也有我死在夏威夷的可能 A version where I die in Hawaii.
还有我爸爸和哥哥都还活着，我妈妈没有心碎的可能 Another where my father and brother are still alive and my mother's not broken.
甚至会有我的生命中没有出现奥利的可能 There's even a version of my life without Olly in it.
你好 Hi.
嘿 Hey.
你曾质疑过吗 Do you ever wonder
如果你改变了生命中的某件事，那会怎样？ what your life would be like if you could just change one thing?
改变一件事会让生命更糟糕吗？ What if changing one thing made things worse?
如果我们没有相遇会怎样 What if we hadn't met?
但我们相遇了 But we did.
我们相遇了 We did.
抱歉我没有跟你说再见 I'm sorry that I didn't say goodbye.
你确定你应该在这吗 Are you sure you should be here?
可能不确定 Probably not.
如果今天是我们第一天相遇会怎么样 What if today was the first day that we met?
好吧 Okay.
很高兴见到你 I'm so happy to meet you.
我也很高兴见到你 I'm so happy to meet you, too.
译制：言说必瑜 【不离字幕组】荣誉出品