旧习难改 Old habits die hard.
好好吃东西 别发推特 Don't tweet it, eat it.
♪ I love you like peaches ♪
♪ You're as sweet as can be ♪
这不是什么"今日着装" It is not an "outfit of the day."
就是一套衣服而已 It's just an outfit.
♪ I love you like peaches ♪
我的粉丝想知道我今天穿啥样 My followers want to know what I'm wearing.
也许他们可以去关注一些更重要的事情 Perhaps they can redirect their attention to something more important
比如钻井采油 Like fracking
或者罗南·法罗[活动家 记者] or Ronan Farrow.
我确定我的粉丝对二者都不喜欢 I'm pretty sure my followers hate both of those things.
亨利想帮助我变成更好的人 Henry was trying to help me to become a better person.
虽然我很感谢他帮我 And even though I appreciated his help...
对于您及时而专业的服务 "For your prompt and professional service
我表示衷心感谢 "I offer my sincere thanks.
此致 敬礼 伊莉莎·杜丽 Kind regards. Eliza Dooley."
但我也有点想让他去死 ...I also kind of wanted him die.
终于快熬到周末 By the time the weekend rolled around,
我只想点一杯拿铁 不用说谢谢 I just wanted to order a latte and not say "Thanks."
谢谢 Thanks.
周末有什么大计划吗 Any big plans this weekend?
公司给名人一些礼品 让名人跟自己的产品合影
我准备去偶遇几个名人 Yeah, I'm gonna try to bump into some celebrities,
去一趟礼品屋 从卡露琪[克里斯布朗女友]开始 maybe hit a gifting suite, kick it with Karrueche,
去泡吧 见见Pitbull 喝到酩酊大醉 Yacht-hop, Pitbull, binge-drink till I'm white-girl wasted.
-听起来... -去派对大展身手 - That sounds... - Pop by this pop-up party, get my grind on,
去趟汉堡店 亲一下汉堡 swing by in-n-out, kiss a hamburger
大浓妆不加滤镜 还有大卫·库塔[歌手] full makeup, no filter, David Guetta.
啥 为什么 W-what? W-why?
你为什么要做这些事 Why would you do any of those things?
我的朋友布里特只差十七个粉婊砸 My friend Brit is only 17 followhores away
就赶上我了 from catching up to me.
粉婊砸 "Followhores."
所以我必须要绝地反击 So I need to cop a like spike, score a regram,
而且 and basically, you know,
提醒布里特 她是个没用的渣渣 remind Brit that she's a worthless skank.
这么说没问题的 她是我死党 I can say that. She's my best friend.
-早 -早 - Morning. - Morning.
早啊 Oh, morning.
并不是要抹杀你重创好友的重要性 Not to diminish the importance of smiting your friends,
但我能不能劝你试着做点更有意义的事情 but could I also convince you to try something more meaningful,
更有建设性的事 something more constructive,
斗胆说一下 比如帮助他人 like, dare I say, to help others?
帮助他人 Help...others?
-可明明是周末呀 -所以呢 - B-but it's the weekend. - And?
周末就是生产力 Weekends are supposed to be productive.
难道你没听过那首歌吗 《为周末工作》 Haven't you ever heard the song "Working for the weekend"?
-没有 -没有吗 - No. - No?
是一首朗朗上口的流行歌 It's an extremely catchy pop anthem about people
唱的是那些选择在周末工作的人 who opt to spend the weekend working.
♪ 大家都在为周末工作 ♪ ♪ Everybody's working for the weekend ♪
♪ 人人都需要第二次机会 ♪ ♪ Everybody needs a second chance ♪
♪ 大家都在为周末工作 ♪ ♪ Everybody's working for the weekend ♪
这个才不是讲周末工作的 That song's not about working for the weekend.
你说什么 Beg your pardon?
我超爱这首歌 不过它并不是说周末工作 I love that song, but it's not about working for the weekend.
而是"为"周末工作 It's about working for the weekend.
我说的就是这个啊 That's what I said.
不 是为了期待周末而工作 No, it's about working in anticipation of the weekend.
我明白了 Oh, I see.
所以工作的唯一目的就是享受周末 So the sole purpose of working is to enjoy the weekend.
-没错 -是的 谢谢 - That's exactly right. - Yes! Thank you!
好吧 显然我不是这么理解的 Well, that was certainly not my interpretation.
如你们所想 As you can imagine,
我要把那首歌从我的播放列表里移除 I will now be removing that jam from my playlist.
不如这样 Okay, how about this?
如果你保证周末不工作 我就保证周末工作 I promise to work for the weekend if you promise not to.
说明确些 因为会有些歧义 And just to clarify, 'cause there has been some confusion --
我会接受亨利布置的任务 帮助他人 I will accept Henry's assignment and do something to help others
前提是 If, in return,
他周末绝对不工作 he will spend his weekend doing anything but working.
他需要放松放松 找点乐子 He needs to let loose and have some fun.
我也打算找乐子 Oh, I intend to.
在聊周末的事对吧 我的周末可有大事件 We're talking weekends, right? Mine's gonna be huge.
明晚是高中同学聚会 Got my high-school reunion tomorrow night!
当年负我的那个他 And the one that got away
米切尔·麦克麦尼 也会参加哦 will be in attendance -- Mitchell McMoney.
我全心全意地相信 Now, I truly believe, in my heart of hearts,
94级
我至今还单身的唯一原因 that the only reason why I am still single is because
返校节
便是命中注定我要成为麦克麦尼夫人 I'm destined to be Mrs. McMoney.
那是1994年 The year was 1994.
我待会还有个会... Yeah, I got a meeting that starts...
就在我们友达以上 亲亲欲满的时候 Just as we were about to exit the friend zone and get our grind on,
有人呼我 someone paged me.
原来是有急事找我 The 411 was a 911,
也就是说 我不得不离开 meaning I had to outie 5000.
接下来 The next thing you know,
他跟着乐队巡演 给他们做大号夹克 he was on tour making oversized blazers for Jodeci,
-而我上了耶鲁 -你居然是耶鲁毕业的 - and I was at Yale. - You went to Yale?
这个周末我终于有机会 This weekend, I'm finally gonna get my chance
跟他重燃爱火 to rekindle things.
夏莫妮卡 Charmonique?
我一向都美美哒 I always look good.
明晚我可以去你家帮你准备 I could come over tomorrow night and help you get ready,
如果你觉得我这么做很无私周到的话 if you think that would be selfless and thoughtful of me.
说实话 你这样的确非常无私周到 You know what? That would be selfless and thoughtful of you.
-谢谢 -客气 - Thanks! - Yeah!
该你了 Your turn.
♪ I'm looking at me ♪
本字幕首发于字幕组网站 www.ZiMuZu.tv 欢迎交流
♪ Hey, look, it's me ♪
本字幕首发于字幕组网站 www.ZiMuZu.tv 欢迎交流
翻译/校对 TanKnoX 圈圈
♪ Not to make it all me ♪
时间轴 Poxle 倩倩
♪ Funny thing about me ♪
后期 吉吉
总监 TanKnoX
♪ Is while I'm looking at me-e-e-e-e ♪
总监 TanKnoX
♪ I'm hoping to find you ♪
再造淑女
第一季 第四集
亨利 Hey, Henry.
周五晚上了呀 Friday night, huh?
没错 That's correct.
要去嗨一嗨了 About to get turnt!
我也是 Myself, as well.
真的吗 你有什么打算 Really? What have you got planned?
我打算回家 Well, I was planning on going home
不去想工作 to not think about work for a little while.
也许会做一大盘沙拉享用一下 And I thought I'd make and enjoy a big salad.
再来点前天晚上烤的鸡 Might throw in some chicken I grilled two nights ago.
亨利 Henry.
加一把玉米粉薄饼 Maybe a handful of tortilla strips
嘎嘣儿脆 for added crunch.
-嘎嘣儿脆 -正是 - Added crunch. - You heard.
亨利 这是我听过最沮丧的事了 Henry, that's the most depressing thing i've ever heard.
那你一定是够幸运 Well, you must be blissfully unaware of the sound
没听过鲸鱼妈妈的丧子之痛 a mother whale makes when mourning the loss of her pup.
那嘶吼简直能传遍整个海洋 She basically barks across the whole ocean.
我们周一要取消儿童维生素的生产线 Well, I hope Saperstein doesn't bark across the ocean
希望萨珀斯坦听到后不要哀嚎遍野 when we kill the children's vitamin line on Monday.
什么 What?
已经确定了么 Has that been confirmed?
确定了 要跟我们拜拜了 Oh, it's confirmed. It's going bye-bye.
得了吧 亨利 Oh, come on, Henry.
那种咀嚼片好几年都没有盈利了 That chewable hasn't been profitable for years now.
我们生产那些就是在赔钱啊 We're actually losing money producing it.
就是这个咀嚼片当年让我们公司一战成名 That chewable put our company on the map!
那是很多年前 The year was several years ago.
我们的任务是让孩子爱上矿物质 The assignment was to make kids excited about minerals.
在那之前 我们的儿童咀嚼片 Until then, our kids chewable
都是吃起来像土一样的蓝色椭圆片 had been a blue oval that tasted like dirt.
金德凯制药
但我认为 孩子们会喜欢 But I supposed children would prefer
橘子味有活力的橙色小象 a vibrant orange elephant that tasted like tangerine.
而且他们的确喜欢 And, damn it, they did!
我们的咀嚼片销量火爆 Our chewable flew off the shelves,
金德凯制药 and Kinderkare Pharmaceuticals
拿下了业界闻名的金商标奖 won the prestigious brandmar award.
橙色小象是我们的大明星 That little orange elephant is a rock star,
也是我品牌改造的第一壮举 and my first big rebrand.
那都是老古董了 It's a relic, and it can't keep up
敌不过那些好看好吃又好嚼的对手 with its younger, hipper, gummier counterparts.
我知道这样不好受 Look, I know it sucks,
但有时 你得砍掉老树 but sometimes you got to cut down the old trees
新枝才能发芽 to let the new ones grow.
我说得对不对呀 时光老人 Am I right, Father Time?
时光老人是谁 我吗 Who's Father Time? I'm Father Time?
周末打算吃粗粮的又不是我 I'm not the one planning my weekend around a bowl of roughage.
-我说了会加烤鸡的 -是嘛 - I said with grilled chicken! - Oh, wow.
先生 Sir.
烤鸡挺好玩的 Grilled chicken could be fun.
我也这么认为 I thought so.
我们的咀嚼片已经是过去时了吗 Our chewable's history, isn't it?
我不知道 I don't know --
别骗我 小子 直说吧 Don't flimflam me, son. Give it to me straight.
头儿 我会想办法的 Sir, I'm gonna think of something.
-我周末加班努力... -没必要了 - I'm gonna work through the weekend - There's no point.
大势已去 It's already gone.
它的灵魂几小时前就已经粉末状散去 Its chalky soul left the building hours ago.
我能感觉到 I can feel it.
如果我真如我想的那样了解我们的果味小调皮 And if I know that fruity rascal like I think I do,
它也会让我们继续下去的 it would want us to carry on.
周末愉快 Have a great weekend.
继续下去 周末愉快 So...carry on and have a...great weekend.
第二天晚上 我来到夏莫妮卡家 The next night, I showed up at Charmonique's place.
准备做完善事后 就一闪了之 I would do my good deed, then get the hell out of dodge.
不需要 谢谢 No, thank you.
闪开 Move.
妈 Mom!
他记忆中的我 是玛丽·布莱姬[歌手]短发发型 Now, he remembers me with the Mary J. Blige,
但我有点想翻过这篇儿 but a part of me wants to flip the script
让他见识见识埃里卡·巴杜[歌手]式的爆炸头 and hit him with some Erykah Badu.
-我理解你 -好的 - Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. I understand that instinct. - Okay.
但如果你要完全改变造型 But when you completely reinvent your look,
就会有别人认不出你的风险 you run the risk of people not knowing who the hell you are...
比如蕾妮·齐薇格[演员] 虽然她现在也很好看 ...i.e. Renee Zellweger, who still looks good...
但跟之前的她一点都不像 But doesn't look a damn thing like Miss Renee Zellweger.
我懂你的意思了 I see what you mean.
没错 Mm. Exactly.
好 我们来试试这个T-Boz发型 Whoo! Okay. So, let's try the T-Boz.
蓝调合唱团TLC成员
好吧 谢谢 Okay. Thank you.
爱死了 Oh, I love it.
♪ No, I don't want no scrubs ♪
♪ A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me ♪
♪ Hanging on the passenger side of his best friend's ride ♪
不要啊 Oh, no.
千万别 Oh, hell, no.
不要 不能这样 Please, no, no. This can't be happening.
-怎么了 -她生病了 - What's wrong? - She's sick.
-保姆生病了 -生病了 - My sitter's sick! - She's sick?!
对 她说她在商场吃墨西哥菜吃坏了 Yeah, she says she had bad Mexican food at the mall
止不住地吐 and she can't stop vomiting.
你告诉她可以到这来吐了吗 Did you tell her she can vomit here?
你 可以 到这来 吐 "You...can... vomit...here."
她怎么说 What did she say?
她说她不来了 She says she isn't coming.
我的灵媒说会有一股未知力量阻挡我寻找真爱 My psychic said an unknown force would keep me from true love.
但我万万没想到 But I didn't think it was gonna be
居然是美食街里五块钱的墨西哥卷饼 a $5 burrito from the food court.
真的很遗憾 I'm really sorry.
时间这么紧 也不会有人来替她 And no one's gonna be able to come on such short notice.
也许是这样的 Probably not, no.
就这样了 So that's it.
我会错过同学聚会 I'm gonna miss my reunion
也错过寻找真爱的机会 and my chance to find true love.
听起来的确如此 It sure sounds that way.
是的 Yeah.
世界这么大 I can't think of one single solution
我却想不出一个办法 in this whole, entire universe
让我今晚去参加聚会 that would allow me to go to my event tonight.
你呢 Can you?
想不出 No.
他只吃鸡块 所以晚饭是鸡块 Now, he only eats nuggets, so just nuggets for dinner,
睡前可以来一两块 maybe one or two nuggets before bed,
如果我早上没回来 and, if I'm not home by morning,
给他来一碗 加点橙汁 a bowl of nuggets with some O.J.
需要联系我的话 这是我的号码 Um, okay, here is my number if you need to reach me.
对了 我需要请你 Oh, I would like to request that
一定要把我"假发竞技场"的门关好 you keep the door to my wig colosseum closed
我再强调一遍 because, if I did not make it clear,
这里面有温度调节系统 This whole situation is on climate control
那些假发估值有六万美元 and has an estimated value of 60 grand.
六万美元 $60,000?
好了 凯文 我走了 Okay, Kevin, I'm leaving.
搞定他 Get it.
会的 宝贝 I will, baby.
一会儿打给你 好吗 I'm gonna call you soon, okay?
伊莉莎 谢谢你帮我 Oh, and, Eliza, thank you for this.
我欠你一个人情 I owe you one.
搞定他 Get it!
我不会让你死去的 I'm not gonna let you die.
不行 I can't.
-喂 -谢谢你啊 亨利 - Hello? - Thanks a lot, Henry.
你逼我做的一件好事 That one nice thing you made me do
又衍生出了另一件事 turned into another nice thing.
-很好啊 -一点都不好 - That's wonderful. - No, it's not wonderful!
我现在真的是周末在工作了 Now I'm actually working for the weekend,
而你最好别是在工作 我们说好的 which you'd better not be, because that was our deal.
你以为我在这 What do you think -- I'm over here hanging out
跟一瓶维生素片聊天吗 才不是 with a bottle of vitamins? No.
我向你保证 我吃饱了沙拉 I promise you -- I am full of salad,
准备去 嗨一嗨 and I'm about to get... turnt.
我可是嗨不成了 Well, that makes one of us.
想不想扮演恐龙战队 Want to dress up like power rangers?
不想 No.
怎么了 你不喜欢小孩吗 What's wrong? You don't like kids?
-还好 -那是因为什么 - They're okay. - Then what?
说了你也不懂 You wouldn't understand.
试试看 Try me.
我跟我的朋友布里特 It's just my friend Brit and I have
相互竞争比较激烈 this highly competitive relationship.
她是处女座的吗 She a virgo?
你继续 Continue.
我们一直在比谁更红 We're constantly battling over who's more famous,
这还用比吗 当然是我更红了 and, duh, it's always me.
但上周末 布里特几乎红遍Ins But last weekend, brit almost broke instagram
她换了钻石牙套 when she got iced-out grills,
跟寇特妮·洛芙[演员]亲热 made out with Courtney Love,
吃的玉米片也升级成最流行的香辣柠檬味 and stepped up her corn nut game by posting those picante limons.
口味回归
等等 玉米片啥时候有过香辣柠檬味 Hold up. When did corn nuts drop picante limons?
本来我今晚准备努力保住王冠 I was gonna go so hard tonight to defend my crown,
结果却得跟你待在这 but now I'm stuck here with you.
是吗 Are you?
我非常确定 是的 I'm pretty sure I am, yeah.
在网络世界里 就是装嘛 妹子 The internet is all about illusions, girl.
你知道吧 You know that.
我确实知道 I do know that.
欢迎94级回来
夏莫妮卡 气色不错啊 Charmonique, you look amazing!
谢了 珍妮特 你也是 Thanks, Jeanette. You, too.
你听说乔·迈纳的事了吗 Did you hear about Joe Miner?
他老婆跑了 他还植发了 His wife left him, and he got hair plugs.
我知道 多棒啊 听我说 Okay. That's nice. Listen.
我说你们 消停消停行吗 Hey. Hey. Bring it down.
我无意冒犯 Now, I don't mean no disrespect,
但我不是来这里跟你们这群饥渴的小婊砸八卦的 but I did not come here to talk smack with you thirsty ratchets.
我来这里的原因只有一个 I came here for one reason and one reason only.
-夏莫妮卡 -米切尔 - Charmonique? - Mitchell.
你好 米切尔 Hi, Mitchell.
珍妮特 夏特尔 拜托你们俩麻溜滚粗 Jeanette, Chantaal, please break the hell out.
我还担心永远见不到你了 I was afraid I'd never see you again.
我绝不会让这种事发生的 你要知道 I would never let that happen. You have to know that
我等这一刻等了很久了 夏莫妮卡 I've waited a long time for this opportunity, Charmonique.
我也是 Me, too.
当我听说你当了妈妈 When I heard that you were a mother,
我的感觉根本无法用言语来表达 well, there were no words to describe the way I felt.
但是当我又发现你没有结婚 But when I found out you weren't married
甚至孩子身边没有父亲时... or even with the father...
米切尔 不要说 等等 Mitchell, no, no. Wait.
我们不要在这里谈这个 Let's not do this here.
我们脱掉衣服 找个安静的地方好好聊聊 Let's get rid of our coats and find a quiet place to talk.
-好 好主意 -好 - Wonderful. That's a great idea. - Okay.
博伊森莓先生 看来你 Looks like you, sir boysenberry,
要统治到月初了 shall reign until the first of the month.
而你 青柠奶油大人 时日无多了 Whereas your days, lord key lime of custard, are numbered.
还有你 You, there!
你个卑鄙的小混蛋 You sneaky greek bastard.
过期了 Expired.
敢犯如此大罪 判你绞刑 You'll hang for your crime!
不能再宅下去了呀 I have to get out of the house.
我努力工作又玩得开心 不要嫉妒哦 亨利
♪ Oh, ha Look ♪
♪ We all got targets, many they never hit ♪
♪ few of us bull's-eye ♪
♪ jordon that higher living ♪
♪ believing that they can fly ♪
♪ Space jam" The mission ♪
♪ If the limit was the sky, why am I star-wishing ♪
♪ Trying to shine in the darkness ♪
♪ Be like a cliff climb with no -- ♪
警察来抓我们了吗[Ke$ha歌词] Popo shut us down?
伊莉莎 你不能带小孩子... Eliza, you cannot have a child at --
这里没有疯狂派对 This isn't a wild party.
是啊 但是看上去很像有对吧 Nope! But it 'grammed like one, right?
真的很像 你们俩好像在疯玩一样 It really did. You two really appeared to be having a blast.
确实是啊 直到你来了 Oh, we were... until you got here.
好吧 DJ小朋友 Okay, deejay pre-k.
但现在都快午夜了 But it's almost midnight,
你早就该上床睡觉了吧 and I'm guessing it's way past your bedtime.
这首歌送给这哥们儿 This one goes out to my man.
♪ Together, one, pa-pa-pa-pa, pa-pa-pa-pa ♪
我明白 I get it.
你以为我是韩国人就肯定喜欢韩国流行乐对吧 You think 'cause I'm Korean I automatically like K-pop.
♪ Pa-pa-pa-pa ♪
♪ Everybody ♪
♪ One, two, three ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
我不是有意对你说教 I certainly don't mean to lecture you.
但是如果你跟人发生不道德的性行为 But when you engage in immoral sex,
这不仅会迷失你的思想 it's not just an oops upside your head.
更会迷失我们的造物主 It's also an oops upside the head of
全能基督的思想 our lord and creator, Christ Almighty.
米切尔 拜托 Oh, Mitchell, come on.
你可跟Jodeci乐队一起巡演过 You were on tour with Jodeci.
所以我才要忏悔 Which is why I had to repent --
尤其是我在他们的《恶作剧》视频中 specifically for providing the leatherwear
提供了他们穿的皮草 in their "Freek'n you" video.
我一想到自己以前助长了那么多次通奸... When I think about all the fornication I fostered...
真不敢相信我为了这个还把这假发给烫直了 I can't believe I flat-ironed my MJB for this.
不好意思 米切尔 我得去看看我儿子了 Excuse me, Mitchell. I have to check in on my son.
你去的时候 While you're at it,
能顺便看看上帝之子吗 could you also check in on the son of God?
他一直在等你的消息呢 He's been waiting to hear from you.
我从没哄孩子睡过觉 I've never put a child to bed before.
你一定可以的 I'm sure it'll be fine.
晚安 凯文 Good night, Kevin.
你也是 And to you.
我现在要关灯了 I'm going to turn the light off now.
我懂 I understand.
你该干什么就干什么吧 You do what you got to do.
什么声音 What was that?
我也不知道 I'm not sure.
天 好像艾迪·墨菲[演员]啊 Oh, my God, it sounded like Eddie Murphy.
是他吗 他要被噎死了吗 Is that him? I-is he choking?
我要我妈妈 I want my mom!
他要找妈妈 该怎么办啊 He wants his mom! What are we gonna do?!
-他妈妈不在这里 -伊莉莎 - His mom's not here! - E-e-eliza!
我们得淡定 给凯文提供安慰 We got to remain calm and be of comfort to Kevin.
一关灯他就好像变了个人 The lights went out, and he's like a totally different person.
睡觉对孩子来说是很有压力的 Bedtime can be really stressful for kids.
我们去安慰他 好吗 来 Let's try and soothe him, shall we? Yeah.
凯文 睡觉前 Kevin, is there something soothing
你妈妈会做什么来安慰你吗 that your mother does for you at bedtime?
她会给加湿器添水... She fills my humidifier...
加湿... Humidif-- ...
打开空气净化器 puts on my air purifier,
把衣柜里的灯都关掉... turns off my closet light...
-你负责关衣柜里的灯 -好 - You get the closet! - Okay.
把厕所的灯帮我打开 ...turns on my bathroom light,
-找到我的毛绒狮子 -在这里 - finds my stuffed lion... - Here!
好 我找到了 找到了 Okay, I got it! I got it!
-把狮子给我 -嗷呜 - ...gives him to me... - Rawr!
拿走一个枕头 给我加条毯子... ...takes away one pillow, adds one extra blanket...
-快去拿毯子 -我拿到毯子了 - Get the blanket! - I got the blanket!
-喷三下薰衣草喷雾 -薰衣草 - ...sprays three pumps of lavender mist... - Lavender!
-好了 -关好窗户 再闭上门 - Yeah. - ...cracks the window and closes the door.
你去关门 You get the door.
好了 All right.
然后她会给我唱《绿野仙踪》里的《轻松前行》 Then she sings "Ease on down the road" from "The Wiz."
我没看过《绿野仙踪》啊 I never saw "The Wiz"!
好了 好了 There, there.
不要 再发出那种声音了 Don't... make that noise.
我看到亨利拍凯文的蓬蓬头时 As I watched Henry pat Kevin's afro,
就意识到今晚去不成俱乐部玩了 I realized I wasn't going clubbing tonight.
别哭了 凯文 Come on, Kevin.
那么炫酷的DJ怎么还哭着找妈妈呢 No super-cool deejays cry for their mommies!
喂 Hello.
伊莉莎 一切都好吧 Eliza, is everything okay?
-很好啊 -我听到艾迪·墨菲的声音了 - Evrything's great. - Uh-oh, I hear Eddie Murphy.
凯文有点小焦虑 可能是因为要睡觉了吧 Kevin is just a little anxious. Maybe about going to bed.
你给他睡前吃鸡块了吗 Well, did you give him his bedtime nuggets?
-什么 -睡前的鸡块啊 - His what? - His bedtime nuggets.
我说过了 他睡前要吃两三块鸡块 I told you -- he needs two or three of those
才能好好睡觉 before he can go to sleep.
他的睡前鸡块 对啊 我给忘了 His bedtime nuggets, of course. I completely forgot.
凯文 你想来点睡前鸡块吗 Hey, Kevin, would you like some bedtime nuggets?
好啊 You know what? I would.
谢谢 夏莫妮卡 Thanks, Charmonique.
你打来的正是时候 Somehow, you called at the exact right time
你也知道该怎么做 and knew exactly what to do.
你真是史上最棒老妈 You're the best mom ever.
当然 这还用你说 You know what? I am. Hmm.
-一切都好吗 -很好啊 - Everything good? - Everything's great.
我不知道 You know, I don't know if
你是不是想让我后悔自己的人生选择 you were trying to make me feel bad about my life choices.
但是很抱歉 麦克麦尼神父 我不后悔 But I'm sorry, Father McMoney -- I don't.
我也很高兴你找到了更高境界的爱 And I'm glad that you found higher love.
但是我有自爱 那才是真正的爱 But I have self-love, and that's real love.
我先失陪了 So now if you'll excuse me,
到我喜欢的歌了 they're playing my jam.
有时烦恼的窗户关上时 Sometimes, when the grind window closes,
觉悟的大门便打开了 the door to enlightenment opens.
♪ Real love ♪
♪ I'm searching for a real love ♪
♪ Someone to set my heart free ♪
♪ Real love ♪
伊莉莎 Eliza?
怎么了 凯文 Yes, Kevin?
你反击成功了吗 Did we get a like spike?
当然了 亲爱的 当然 We sure did, buddy. We sure did.
真的吗 You did?
当然是假的 Absolutely not.
传上凯文的照片后 I actually lost followers
其实我的粉丝减少了 by posting those pics of Kevin.
布里特把我打了个落花流水 Brit crushed me.
你好啊 杜丽 What up, Doolio?
我是你姐们儿布里特啊 It's your girl fit Brit.
你看看自己的粉丝数 亲 我刚超过你了呢 Check your stats, hon, 'cause I just smoked your ass.
我真的很为你骄傲 Well, I'm really proud of you.
你今晚做得真的很棒 You did a really good job tonight.
布里特可能赢了跟我的粉丝数比赛 Brit may have killed the instagame,
但是我赢得了亨利的尊重 but I had earned Henry's respect
而且还照顾好了一个小孩子 and kept a small child alive.
该死 Damn.
这世界上小孩子最喜欢的 Is there anything in the world kids love
除了鸡块还有别的吗 more than chicken nuggets?
可能没有了 Maybe not.
可能真没有 Hey. Maybe not.
维生素鸡块 Vita-nuggets --
添加维生素的鸡块 Chicken nuggets with vitamin-infused breading.
既是晚餐 又是零食 合二为一 It's their dinner and their daily allowance, all in one!
你怎么这么兴奋啊 Look how excited you are.
有了维生素鸡块 With vita-nuggets,
我们可以从制药业扩展到冷冻食品业 we move from the pharmacy to the frozen-foods aisle.
他们吃得根本停不下来怎么办 What happens if they want seconds?
所以我们就得思考了 Which got us thinking.
虽然维生素的伪装形式多种多样 With vitamins disguising themselves as
有泡泡糖 小虫子 泰迪熊 gum balls and sour worms and teddy bears
甚至理论上 还有鸡块 and even, in theory, chicken nuggets,
但是每年有毒物质控制中心收到多少父母来电 how many calls must Poison Control receive annually
说自己的孩子无意中多吃了 from parents whose children have unintentionally overdosed?
答案是... The answer is...
不计其数 An ass-load.
伊莉莎 说一下数据 Eliza, the data, please.
"伊莉莎 说一下数据" "Eliza, the data, please."
每年大约有五万个电话... Um an estimated 50,000 calls a year --
两倍不计其数 So two ass-loads.
有这么多啊 Wow. Two ass-loads.
所以这里有人会告诉你 Sir, there are people in this room who will tell you
我们的维生素需要更好看好吃好嚼 that our vitamin needs to be cooler, hipper, gummier,
需要假装成其他的东西 that it needs to pretend to be something it is not.
就像杰西卡·辛普森跟约翰·梅尔约会一样 Like Jessica Simpson when she dated John Mayer.
她以为别人都是傻子吗 Who did she think she was kidding?
谁说不是啊 I know, right?
但是我坚持 But I maintain,
要让维他命产品成功 for this vitamin to be a success,
只需要维生素老老实实做自己的维生素就行了 all it needs to do is keep being a vitamin...
味道做成不讨人厌但是也不美味的橙味就行 ...with a pleasant but not delicious orangey taste.
没人愿意吃一瓶这个玩意儿的 Mm. No one's eating a bottle of these bad boys.
这样的维生素 放着才会安全 That's what makes them safe.
我们就是要这么告诉众位父母 That's what we tell parents
因为天下父母都希望自己的孩子安全健康 because what parent doesn't want their child to be safe?
所以我们通过发扬本来的缺点 So we take down our competitors by exposing a strength
-来打败竞争对手 -对 - which is actually a weakness? - Yes.
真是太机智了 It's nothing short of brilliant!
怎么样 Oh! How about that?!
我们的小象又要崛起了 Our elephant shall ride again!
-过来抱抱 -好吧 - Come here, you. - Oh, o-okay.
真想亲你一口啊 I could dip you.
其实这都是伊莉莎的功劳 Oh! Actually, sir, it was Eliza's revelation.
伊莉莎 Eliza.
干得太漂亮了 That's magnificent work.
-谢谢 -不 是谢谢你 - Thank you. - No, thank you.
你们俩口子真是所向无敌啊 You two really are quite the power couple.
不是 我们只是... Oh, no, sir. We're just --
你们就是天生一对 真的 Perfect together. You really are.
想想 你们俩的孩子该多么完美 I mean, can you imagine how exquisite the offspring?
应该是很丑吧 老板 Oh, I imagine they'd be quite ugly, sir.
红发傻头傻脑的韩国人 真心不怎么好看 Red-headed Koreans -- it's not a good look.
一般都那样 Typically.
那《大家今晚一起wang chung[乐队]》是什么 Okay, so, what is "Everyone wang chung tonight" about?
这我不知道 但是我可以告诉你 That I don't know, but I can tell you that
《苏苏迪欧》[歌]是菲尔·柯林斯的马的名字 "Sussudio" is the name of Phil Collins' horse
而"Yah mo b there"[歌]其实是则寓言 and that "Yah mo b there" is actually an allegory.
好吧 那《私人舞者》是写什么的 Okay. What is "Private dancer" about?
这个就不言自明了吧 I think that one's pretty self-explanatory.
亨利 能跟你说几句话吗 Oh, Henry, can I talk to you for a sec?
怎么了 What's up?
你知道我按照你的指示 Well, you know how I did exactly what you instructed me to do,
周末一直在帮助别人包括你对吧 and I spent the whole weekend helping others, including you?
对 Yes.
你也知道你周末不该工作应该玩儿 And you know how you were supposed to have fun and not work,
-但你没做到 所以你输了我赢了对吧 -嗯 - but you did the opposite, so you lose and I win? - Okay.
那你是不是该奖励我一下呢 I was thinking that maybe I should get some kind of reward.
奖励 你想要什么 Reward? What did you have in mind?
六万块 $60,000.
我不小心忘记把夏莫妮卡的假发间关上了 I accidentally left Charmonique's wig closet open.
告诉你个坏消息 伊莉莎 I have bad news for you, Eliza.
其实我这周末很开心 I actually had fun this weekend.
-才没有 -我开心得要死 - You did not! - I had a freaking blast.
才没有 你个骗子 No! No! You're a liar!
就三万块还不行吗 补偿给夏莫妮卡的 Fine, then just $30,000, made out to Charmonique!
亨利 Henry!