(前情提要)
-我们知道是谁杀了班 -你们认为是谁做的 We know who murdered Ben. Who do you think did it?
唐娜 我亲爱的制作人 Donna! My beloved producer!
这就是首演夜的怪声 The spooky sound from opening night.
有人在这里碎文件 Someone was in here shredding something.
我的老天爷 我知道这是什么 O.M. God! I know what this is.
这是麦欣对旧版的戏的评论 This is Maxine's review of my original show.
我们先假设唐娜弄到评论 Let's say Donna gets her hands on the review,
而它说班是这出戏的败笔 which says Ben is the weak link of the show.
她看到老鼠药... She spots the rat poison.
她就有了对班下毒的想法 And she gets the idea to poison Ben.
回你的更衣室吧 对班好一点 Go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben.
我要断食到戏演完 I'm fasting 'til after the show.
救命 Help me...
大家总喜欢问我 「制作人都在做什么 」 People always like to ask me, "What is it that a producer does?"
我喜欢回答:「我制作啊」 I like to reply, "I produce."
我出钱 但那不代表我只负责出钱 And that doesn't mean I just pay for it, though I do.
我是负责催生一切的人 I'm the one who gives birth to it all.
这是我梦寐以求的工作 It's what I've always wanted to do.
我也做得有声有色 It's what I've always done.
跟他说 如果他写不出 安德鲁洛伊韦伯那种歌 Well, tell him if he can't write a song that sounds like Andrew Lloyd Webber,
我会找别人 I'll call someone else.
我会找他妈的韦伯本人 卡尔 I'll call Andy fucking Webber. That's who, Carl.
女士 你现在得用力了 Ma'am, we're gonna need you to push now.
我得走了 快搞定 I gotta go. Just get it done.
我得过九座东尼奖 I've won nine Tonys.
我制作过34部百老汇大秀 I've given birth to 34 Broadway shows.
但要是有人问我 我最爱的作品是哪一部 But, if someone asks me what my favorite thing I've ever made is...
《妈妈咪呀》 "Mamma Mia."
毫无疑问 Hands down,
它改变了我的事业轨迹 changed the trajectory of my whole career.
开玩笑的 制作人也有幽默感的 That's a joke. Producers can be funny.
很多人都没想到 People don't realize that.
我是你妈咪 I'm your mommy.
我会好好守护你一生一世 I'll protect you for the rest of your life.
嘿 卡尔 Hey, Carl.
跟他说那首歌应该叫做《一生一世》 Tell him the song should be called "The Rest of Your Life."
内容是关于父母对孩子的人生的想象 It's about a parent imagining a life for their child.
你刚起步的时候 The thing no one tells you
没人会告诉你 制作表演有多么值得 when you first start is how rewarding producing can be.
或多么危险 Or how dangerous.
-好 但我该... -「没想到会见到你...」 Yeah, b-but I should just... Well, I'm surprised...
「我知道你要的是谁」 - I know who you are-- - No.
这真是太令人兴奋了 - You know. - Surprised-- This is so incredibly exciting!
能像这样被邀请到幕后 To be invited into the inner sanctum like this,
看你们三个做事 watching you three work.
大概就像在那部纪录片里 看着保罗麦卡尼写《回归》一样 I imagine it's like being inside that documentary, watching, uh, Paul McCartney write "Get Back."
对 所以他们才说 我们是真实犯罪界的滚石乐团 Yeah. That's why they call us "The Rolling Stones of True Crime."
-不对 是... -披头四 我闹你的 - No, it's the-- - Beatles! I was kidding.
昨天的事也很谢谢你们 And thank you for yesterday.
你们阻止我为班的谋杀案认罪 For stopping me from pleading guilty to Ben's murder.
我们知道你只是想保护迪奇 Well, we know that you were just trying to protect Dickie,
你儿子 your... son.
也谢谢你们保释我出来 And thank you for bailing me out.
-保释金是我付的 -对 - I paid your bail. - Yes.
但他们拒收美国运通卡时 是我帮你找到维萨卡 But when they said they didn't take Amex, I helped you find your Visa.
你需要什么都行 吾爱 Anything for you, mi amor.
我亲爱的 My pea pod.
我的小宝贝 My little cuddlepups.
他们都要这样吗 Is this what this looks like?
你不叫托伯特「小宝贝」吗 You don't call Tobert "cuddlepups"?
叫他托伯特已经够难了 I have a hard enough time calling him Tobert.
拍纪录片那个人 The documentary guy?
你跟他在... Are you and he...?
-好耶 -谢了 不错吧 - Nice! - Thanks. I know, right?
我们确实是唐娜了吗 So, are we sure about Donna?
唐娜在首演夜提前取得剧评 On opening night, Donna got her hands on an early review,
结果很糟糕 and it was a pan. A massacre!
一败涂地 是史上最差的... The harshest review in the history of--
我这一季已经心脏病发六次了 查尔斯 Okay, I have had, like, six heart attacks this season, Charles.
可以跳过负评 回顾我们知道的事吗 Can we move past the shitty review and just recap what we know?
好 唐娜不能让班搞砸她儿子的第一出戏 Okay, so Donna can't let her son's first show be a bomb, due to Ben.
所以她把剧评碎掉 So, she shreds the review,
找到老鼠药 对饼干下毒 finds the rat poison, makes a poisonous cookie,
然后把它给班 and gives it to him.
她知道他有根深蒂固的饮食障碍 没办法抗拒饼干 A cookie she knows that he can't resist due to his deep-seated eating disorder.
其实正是我跟沾酱不健康的关系 帮助我们破案的 And, in fact, it was my unhealthy relationship to dips that helped us to crack it.
别管我 我很快乐 Leave me alone! I'm happy.
我会寻求帮助的 I'll get help.
但班没被毒死 于是唐娜一不做二不休 But, the poison didn't kill Ben, so Donna takes things a step further.
在奥利佛的庆功宴把他推下电梯井 She pushes him down the elevator shaft at Oliver's after-party.
以她来说 那也是很激烈的手段 Admittedly, it's a pretty drastic step for her.
-她一定... -病了 She had to have been-- Sick.
她... She's...
病了 sick.
如果她必须在有限的时间内 为她儿子的未来铺路 And if she only has a limited amount of time to ensure her son's future,
我跟你们说 当妈妈的几乎什么都做得出来 I tell you, a mother will do almost anything.
有可能 但是很薄弱 It's good, but it's thin.
我们无法证明人是唐娜推的 We don't have anything tying Donna to the push.
我们必须录下她的自白 We need a confession on tape.
我们都这样 I-It's what we do.
还要在首演夜录到 And on opening night.
好 我们再确认一次计画 Okay, let's go over the plan.
我们从花束开始吧 Let's start with the bouquet of flowers.
-这些可以改吗 -可以 我随手写的 - Can we tweak these? - Yeah. I did these really fast.
奥利佛在三号卡上的台词应该由我来说 The Oliver lines on card three, I think I should take them.
-你觉得我说不出来 -你可以 You don't think I can say those? Oh no, you could,
但我能说得更好 but I think I could do more with it.
怎么可能 In what way? How could you do more?
那段话必须逼真 合理 我比你有经验一点 Well, just, it needs to be so real and so believable, and I have a little more experience at it.
每次都是这样吗 Is it always like this?
这是我们的最佳状态 This is us on fire.
你想好什么时候要告诉迪奇了吗 Hey. Do you know when you're gonna tell Dickie?
我只想安然度过首演夜 I just wanna get through opening night,
之后我就会告诉他 and then I'm gonna tell him right afterwards.
好耶 Oh, yay!
为这件事碰拳还真奇怪 That was a weird thing to fist bump on.
是很奇怪 Yeah, it was odd.
我被逮捕后 迪奇来看我时 Dickie showed me something
让我看了一样东西 when he came to visit me after my arrest.
-我去拿 -对了 I have it. You know what?
你在九号卡上的台词都该删掉 I-I think we should lose all your lines on card nine.
如果要让唐娜在开演前认罪 I mean, if we want Donna to confess before curtain,
就要有停顿 而你常常拖泥带水 we need cuts. And you tend to milk your stuff.
我 拖泥带水 Me? Milk my stuff?
没错 我就是这样 Oh, that's right. That's what I do. Yup.
老是拖泥带水 看看我 I milk everything. Oh, look at me.
我在玩泥巴 Oh, I'm milking Bossy the cow!
又是泥又是水 看看我玩得多脏 Milk, milk, milk! Oh, look at all the milk I'm getting.
好 有道理 Okay. You got a point.
迪奇本来怕这会拖累我 但... Dickie was worried that this might implicate me, but...
这有可能证明唐娜推了班吗 Might this tie Donna to the push?
怎么了 What?
我帮上忙了吗 Did I do good?
《破案三人行》 第三季第十集
本WEB版外挂字幕由 风吹来的那片云 双语合并
(第三季 第十集) (首演夜)
(古斯伯利剧院) (《临死之鸣大惊奇》) Help us, Gideon. Help us, Gideon.
帮帮我们 吉迪恩...帮帮我们 吉迪恩 Help us, Gideon. Help us, Gideon.
哈尔德 你在干嘛 - Help us, Gideon. Help us-- - Howard, what are you doing?
我知道这说不通 I know it doesn't make a lot of sense,
但我们今晚会需要各方相助 but I think we could use all the help we can get tonight.
好吧 首演夜快乐 Okay. Happy opening!
我们欢迎你...我们欢迎你 We welcome you. We welcome you. We welcome you. We welcome you...
-来几个灿笑 -好 看这边
(唐娜)
嗨 抱歉打扰你们 Hi! Sorry to interrupt,
唐娜 有人在找你 Donna. Someone was looking for you.
还要我把这个给你 They wanted me to give you this.
好美的礼服 That dress! Thanks.
(新剧评在KT办公室)
我得走了 亲爱的 I have to go, honey, but first...
但先亲一个在唇上 One on your lips.
一个在心上 And one on your heart.
我们都这样 - It's a thing we do. - It's so sweet.
真亲密 我先走了 以免你们变得更亲密 I'm gonna go before it gets any sweeter.
一定要走到红毯上 Make sure you get on that line.
你该补妆吗 有点油亮 Should you powder? Shiny.
十分钟后就定位 十分钟后就定位 Attention. 10 minutes to places. 10 minutes to places.
看到我们很意外吧 Surprised to see us, aren't you?
你的呼吸有点急促 唐娜 You're a little short of breath, Donna.
你一定非常期待能看到那篇剧评 You must be really excited to see that review.
就像上次 Just like last time.
没错 That's right.
我们知道你看到麦欣的批评 We know you got Maxine's pan.
剧场史上最惨的评论 The worst review in the history of theater.
彻底的放血之作 A complete bloodletting.
它说你再也不该来百老汇当导演... It said you should never be near a Broadway stage as a director--
-我们知道 -好 抱歉 - Yeah, w-w-we get it. - Okay, sorry. Jesus.
唐娜 我们能招待你吃点东西吗 Say, Donna. Could we interest you in something to eat?
像是一块饼干 Maybe... a cookie?
她不想吃饼干 She doesn't want them.
怪了 That's odd.
它们又没被下毒 It's not like they're poisoned.
老天 这太痛苦了 Jesus Christ, this is painful.
你们认为我对班下毒 对吧 You think I poisoned Ben, right?
是为了这件事 很好 That's what this is about? Great.
我们省点力气吧 是我做的 Let's jump ahead. I did it.
我写这一堆卡片干嘛 The fuck did I write all these cards for?
让我弄清楚 Just to be clear,
当你说是你「做的」 你是指... when you say you did it, you mean--
对班下毒 Poisoned Ben.
当你说你「对班下毒」... And when you say you poisoned Ben--
可以讲重点吗 Can we please focus on what's important?
我在为首演夜做准备 Getting ready for opening night!
它在哪里 Where is it?
你们那个线上电台用的隐藏麦克风 The hidden mic you're using for your podcast. Is it...
在饼干底下吗 Under the cookies.
在饼干底下吧 It's under the cookies, isn't it?
-那样会很聪明 但... -在这里 Hm, that would've been clever, but it's-- Right here.
嗨 Hi.
麦欣的评论会害惨这出戏 Maxine's review would've killed the show.
所以我争取了时间 So I bought us some time.
我无意杀害班 只想让他演不了戏 I wasn't trying to kill Ben. I just wanted to knock him on his ass.
当然 我很难判断 Of course, it's hard to know the exact
一个男人能吃下多少老鼠药而不被毒死 non-lethal amount of rat poison to give a man.
一个班葛兰罗伊是几只老鼠 How many rats is one Ben Glenroy?
总之 现在你有出知名音乐剧了 奥利佛 Anyway, now you're sitting on a hit musical, Oliver.
他妈的不客气 You're fucking welcome.
有那么简单就好了 唐娜 I wish it was that simple, Donna,
但你不只帮戏争取到时间 but see, you didn't just buy the show time.
你还推了班 让他摔死 You pushed Ben to his death.
-我没有推他 -别想狡辩 我们有这个 I did not push him anywhere. Nice try, but we have this.
班倒在电梯里时 手里的手帕 The hanky that was in Ben's hand on the elevator floor,
是他摔落前从你身上抓的 snatched from you as he fell.
血已经干掉 成了深棕色 但这个口红渍... The blood has dried to a dark brown, but this... lipstick stain.
你们看 Well, looky here.
跟你的口红颜色完全符合 An exact match to your shade.
可恶 Well, shit.
你们这群白痴逮到我了 You idiots actually got me.
是我推班的 I pushed Ben.
我不能冒险让他隔天晚上上台 然后... I couldn't risk him performing the next night and...
毁了我们的戏 and ruining our show.
我杀了班葛兰罗伊 I killed Ben Glenroy.
-你有录到吗 -靠 - Did you get that? - Shit.
没有 我分神了 抱歉 怎么了 她能再说一次吗 No, I got distracted. Sorry. What happened? Can she say it again?
我有录到啦 Yes, I got it.
天啊 Jeez.
我们从来没有这么直截了当的自白 We never get such a straightforward confession.
通常都很迂回又令人困惑 Usually it's more roundabout and confusing.
梅宝 你办到了 Mabel, you did it!
是啊 太棒了 Yeah. Amazing.
五分钟后开演 大伙 Five minutes to curtain, people.
可以帮我一个忙吗 May I ask one favor?
先别报警 Don't call the police yet.
戏演完以后 我会自首的 I'll turn myself in after the curtain falls.
这是我儿子在百老汇的第一个作品 It's my son's first Broadway show.
我是有第四期肺癌的女人 I'm a woman with stage four lung cancer.
没有潜逃风险 I'm not a flight risk.
这里也没有更红的演员能让我杀了 And there are no more famous actors here I can kill.
无意冒犯 查尔斯 No offense, Charles.
-极度冒犯 -我给了你机会 奥利佛 - Lots taken. - I gave you a shot, Oliver.
我在没人看好你的时候给你机会 I gave you a shot when no one else would.
可以拜托你帮我这个忙吗 Can you please give me this?
再说一次 以免衣帽架没录到声音 Say it again. In case the... coat stand didn't get the audio.
是我做的 I did it.
我杀了班葛兰罗伊 I killed Ben Glenroy.
大伙 有人在吗 Guys! Hello?! Anyone!
奥利佛 我们有天大的问题 Oliver, we have a big fucking problem.
-你的心肺功能 -对 那是天大的问题 - Your cardio conditioning? - Yes! That is a big fucking problem,
却不是眼前这个天大的问题 是强纳森 他没办法上台 but that is not this big fucking problem. It's Jonathan. He can't go on.
他吃下一堆药 现在演不了戏 He's taken a bunch of pills and he is completely out of it.
-男主角配方 -我的妈呀 你为什么是衣帽架 - The leading man cocktail. - Sweet Jesus! Why are you a coat stand?
哈尔德 强纳森必须上台 Howard, Jonathan has got to go on!
谁能在五分钟内取代男主角 Who's gonna replace our leading man on five minutes' notice?!
我不知道 但我们会需要一个熟悉他的台词 I don't know. But we'll need someone who knows his every line.
还研究过他每个手势和语调的人 Someone who's studied his every gesture, his every intonation.
一个从来没追求过聚光灯 Someone who never sought the spotlight
却愿意承接警探的重责大帽的人 but is willing to accept the weight of the detective's hat.
哈尔德 你是那个意思吗 Howard, are you saying what I think you're saying?
谢谢 Thank you.
你们其中一个很臭 One of you smells.
-是我 -是他 - It's me. - It's him.
我讨厌剧院 I hate theater.
我来只是为了表示该死的支持 I'm just here because I'm so fucking supportive.
你觉得有人会再死一次吗 Do you think someone will die again?
奥利佛的事业可能会再死一次 Oliver's career might die again.
我喜欢你的思考模式 马修鲍德瑞克 Ooh, I like the way you think, Matthew Broderick.
在世界的边缘 在寂静的深夜 ? At the edge of the world In the dead of the night ?
有座灯塔在海面上若隐若现 ? A lighthouse looms over the ocean ?
有具尸体蜷缩不全 如此险恶的画面 ? And a body lies curled Such a sinister sight ?
海岸上血肉模糊的新斯科细亚人 ? Guts and gore on the shore Nova Scotian ?
那是令人血液凝结的哭嚎 ? Was that a blood-curdling cry ?
还是孩子清纯的叹息 ? Or the innocent sigh of a child? ?
它撼动着你的灵魂 ? Well, it rattles your soul ?
当黑暗掌控一切 ? As the dark takes control ?
它更能够让你疯狂失魂 ? It's enough to drive you wild ?
-当你身为夜行生物 -夜行生物 ? When you're a... Creature of the night ?
独自处在黑暗之中 ? All alone in the black ?
感受理智渐渐失守 ? Feel your sanity crack ?
夜行生物 ? A creature of the night ?
百老汇第一个四重威胁 不会唱歌 跳舞 执导或演戏 Broadway's first quadruple threat. Can't sing, dance, direct, or act.
你真是有趣 You're a lot of fun.
夜行生物 ? You creature of the night! ?
在饱受潮水拍打的诡异老灯塔里 ? In this eerie old lighthouse thrashed by the tide ?
住着母亲离奇死亡的三胞胎 ? Live triplets whose mother suspiciously died ?
以及怪诞不经的嫌犯 ? And suspects uncanny ?
一位警官 一位保母 ? A constable, a nanny ?
他们是否都藏着秘密 ? Do they all have secrets to hide? ?
-嘿 -嘿 - Hey. - Hey.
这是唐娜自白的录音 This is a recording of Donna's confession.
我得说我很高兴你跟你的老伙伴没事了 I gotta say, I'm really glad that you worked things out with your old guys.
因为《谋杀疑云》很... 'Cause Only Murders is so...
别说可爱 Don't say cute.
我想说的不是那个 你们的线上电台不可爱 That's not what I was gonna say. Your podcast is not cute.
但你倒是非常可爱 However, you are very, very cute.
你不敢见光的那一面 ? In the side that you hide from the light ?
你是夜行生物吗 ? Are you a creature... Of... the night? ?
是你吗 ? Is it you? Is it you?
夜行生物 ? A creature of the night ?
是你吗 ? Is it you? Is it you?
-是你吗 夜行生物 -夜行生物 ? A creature of the night... At the edge of the world a body lies curled ?
夜行生物 ? A creature of the night! ?
谁会去那里 Who goes there?
你该不会对我温柔起来了吧 You're not getting all soft on me, are you?
绝对不会 我属于濒临绝种的男人类型 Never. No, I'm the last of a dying breed of man.
拒绝表现或表达感受的那种 One that refuses to emote or express his feelings.
我跟连恩尼逊八成是最后两个 Me and Liam Neeson, I'm pretty sure we're the only two left.
但理论上来说 如果我是那种人... But, I mean, theoretically, if I was that kind of guy--
-天啊 -也许我会说我真的很喜欢你 - Oh God. - Maybe I would say that, I really like you.
远远超过我对其他人的喜欢 Way more than I like other people.
我可能还会告诉你 洛杉矶有人找我去拍独立电影 And I might tell you that I was just offered an indie film in LA
而且我全身的每个细胞都想问 你想不想跟我一起去 and I would tell you that every part of me wants to ask if you wanna come with me.
你总是说你觉得被困住 很茫然 I mean, you're always talking about... feeling stuck and lost.
这会很不一样 This could be different.
-托伯特... -等等 这样吧 - Tobert... - Wait. You know what?
你考虑一下 Just think about it.
可以吗 Is that okay?
好 Okay.
还有... And...
谢谢你没大谈你的感受 thanks for not talking about your feelings.
绝对不会 Never.
天啊 太不可思议了 我有重回58岁的感觉 God, that was incredible! I feel 58 again!
-我得看看这出戏 -好 我待会就过去 I gotta go see this. Are you? Yeah, I'll be there in a minute. Okay.
我会挺过每一场风暴 ? I will weather each storm ?
静静等待 直到你安全无恙地 ? Standing by till Safe you return from the night... ?
从夜晚归来 ? ...night ...night ?
我的爱是一座灯塔 ? My love is a lighthouse ?
因此 亲爱的 我亲爱的 ? So, darling My darling ?
寻找那道光芒 ? Look for the light... ?
光芒 ? The light... ?
罗芮塔 刚才... Loretta, that was...
-实在是太感人了 -谢谢你 迪奇 That was extremely moving. Thank you, Dickie.
我必须告诉你一件事 I need to tell you something.
我年纪比较轻的时候... When I was young... er
做了一个决定 I made a decision.
那算是只有年纪太轻的人才能做的决定 The sort of decision that you can only make when you're too young to make it.
而我... And I...
我这辈子都很想知道... I've... spent... the rest of my life wondering...
我就知道 I knew it.
我...天啊 我就知道 I... My God, I knew it.
我以为我要疯了 I felt like I was going crazy.
我觉得我第一次在读剧见到你就知道了 I feel like I've known since I saw you at that first readthrough.
就好像... It's like...
你一直呼唤着我 like you were calling to me.
像灯塔一样 Like the lighthouse.
我无法解释 就像我无法解释这部音乐剧的剧情一样 Like... I can't explain it any more than I can explain the plot of this musical.
但我就是...知道 But, I just-- I knew.
你知道了 You knew?
那你一定也知道这么多年来 Well then, you, you must also know that... all these years, you know,
即使在我见到你 有机会了解你之前 even before I, I met you and got to know you,
这世上没有一件我不会为你做的事 th-there's nothing in the world I wouldn't do for you.
一件都没有 There's nothing.
强纳森 你有看到小克吗 - Oh! Jonathan! - Hey, have you seen Cliff?
我会揪出致命摇篮中的新生儿
我会查出行凶之人...
小克在 Cliff is...?
他们的生母
或者...咕叽咕叽咕 ? Or coochie-coochie-coo ?
万一那都不是真的呢 ? What if none of it is true? ?
我的调查是否太草率 ? Has my inspection been too cursory? ?
我是否该走出这个婴儿房 ? Should I look outside this nursery? ?
万一匹克威三胞胎都没有杀人 ? What if none of the Pickwick Triplets did it? ?
谁会有致命动机 又将它藏起 ? Who'd have had a menacing motive and hid it ?
谁 谁 谁 ? Who? Who? Who? ?
我选你 ? Well! Pick! You! ?
我小时候 会从这里看我妈的戏 When I was a kid, I'd watch my mom's shows from up here.
这里很安静 It was quiet.
我不想妨碍任何人 I didn't wanna be in the way.
我会带一包扭扭糖 像指挥一样把它们挥来挥去 I'd bring a bag of Twizzlers and swing 'em around like I was the conductor.
你妈妈承认她杀了班 Your mom confessed to killing Ben.
我知道 I know.
她刚刚告诉我了 She just told me.
但其实不是她 But it wasn't her.
一个在唇上 One on the lips...
一个在心上 and one on the heart.
她离开奥利佛的派对前 也做了同样的动作吧 She did the exact same thing before leaving Oliver's party. Didn't she?
你有她的手帕 You had her handkerchief,
和班在电梯前的人是你 and it was you at the elevator with Ben.
老鼠药 Wha... Rat poison?
你确定吗 Are you sure?
不确定 医生 我相信你 Uh, no, Doc, I-I trust you, but...
谢了 Thanks.
你还在这里 You're still here!
这也可以当今晚的主题 Which could also be the theme of the night.
你半小时前跑去接电话了 You left to take a call, like, half an hour ago.
对 是...我的医生 Yeah, it was my-- It was my doctor.
他很爱聊天 大多是聊他的侄女 Guy likes to talk. Mostly about his niece,
他希望我帮她进达特茅斯学院 who he wants me to help try get into Dartmouth,
即使平均成绩才2.8 也没课外活动 despite having a 2.8 GPA and no extracurriculars.
-最好是 -就是说啊 - As if! - I know.
今晚真疯狂 Quite a night.
你还好吗 You okay?
我很好 Yeah, I'm fine.
不好 No. Uh--
医院的检查结果出来了 My hospital labs came back.
医生说我吃下老鼠药 Doctor said I-I ingested rat poison.
我的天啊 真糟糕 Oh, my God! That's nasty!
对 而我体内其他的药物 Yeah, and get this. The other shit found in me,
生长激素 兴奋剂还有微量威而刚 my HGH, uppers, and that microdose of Viagra,
八成救了我一命 they probably saved my ass.
但我他妈怎么会吃到老鼠药 But how the fuck did I ingest rat poison?
我在断食耶 I was fasting.
那块饼干 That cookie.
-什么 -我只吃了饼干 What? That's all I, I ate.
一块该死的史玛柯里饼干 等一下 One fucking Schmackary. Wait a minute.
是你把它们带到剧院的 对吧 You brought those to the theater, didn't you?
我 不是 饼干是我妈准备的 Me? No, no, no. The cookies were from Mom.
我送大家一支很精美的蒂芬妮的笔 I was in charge of getting everyone a really nice pen from Tiffany.
等一下 你妈妈带了饼干 Hold-- Wait, your, your mom brought the cookies?
我在开演前跟她讲过话 I talked to her right before curtain.
她对我说...她说了什么 She said to me-- What did she say?
「回你的更衣室吧 对班好一点」 "Just go to your dressing room. Be nice to Ben."
我照做了 So I did.
它就在那里等着我 求我吃掉它 And there, just waiting for me, asking to be eaten...
你在做什么 What are you doing?
没什么 亲爱的 只是在制作 Nothing, darling. Just producing.
你看过剧评了吗 Have you seen the review yet?
还没 但一定是赞誉有加 No, but I'm sure it's a rave.
靠 你妈对我下毒 Holy shit. Your mom poisoned me.
她才不会伤害任何人 She would never hurt someone.
也许她是想保护我 她就是那样 I mean, maybe she was protecting me. It's what she does.
但为什么 我是她的明星耶 But why? I'm a fucking star!
除非她觉得我很烂 W-- Unless she thought I sucked.
天啊 她觉得我很烂 Oh, my God, she thought I sucked!
她觉得我会毁掉她儿子的戏 她真正的明星 She thought I-I was ruining her boy's play. Her real star!
所以她试图谋杀我 And so, she tried to murder me?
他妈的 Fucker balls!
我要告诉警方 I'm telling the cops.
她要坐很久的牢了 孩子 She's going away for a long time, boy.
是小克 不是「孩子」 It's Cliff. Not "boy."
好啦 要怎么报警 搜寻「警察」吗 Sure. How do you call the cops? Do you j-- Would you just Google "cops"?
我不只是唐娜的「孩子」 I'm more than just Donna's boy.
我也是人 有自己的想法和点子 I'm my own person, with my own thoughts and ideas.
我对她说过 你不适合这角色 Like I told her you weren't right for the part.
她真该听我的话 She should have listened.
我说你靠演超级英雄才红 没本事来百老汇 I said you were a superhero hack who had no business on Broadway.
你根本不会演戏 That you were a stinker.
装模作样 A phony.
你说我什么 What did you call me?
装模作样 A phony.
收回那句话 Take it back.
装模作样 Phony.
今晚很累人 It's been a long night.
你最好小心点 孩子 I'd watch yourself right now. Boy.
你再那样叫我试试看 Call me that one more time.
我说对了吧 I'm right, aren't I?
走开 Back away!
你再靠近一步 我就跳下去 Take one step toward me, I'll throw myself down there!
把这变成真正的烂戏 I'll make this a real shit show!
保母唯一的职责就是照顾孩子 ? A nanny's only duty is to the children ?
让他们待在她安全的襁褓中 ? To keep them swaddled in the safety of her care ?
凭着钢铁般的强劲意志 ? With a fierce and iron will ?
她会战斗 她会杀人 ? She would fight and she would kill ?
若被人伤害 她会勃然大怒 ? If she's poked, she'll be provoked ?
而你刚刚吵醒了 ? And you just woke up ?
熊妈妈 ? Mama bear ?
那只是意外 我不是故意... It was just an accident. I-I didn't mean to...
小克 你可以把它合理化 说那是为了你妈妈 Cliff. You can justify it,
或说那是意外 或者... say it was for your mom or that it was an accident, or--
我不是故意的... I didn't mean to.
班现在应该在台上 Ben should be on that stage right now.
这应该是他的时刻 This should be his moment.
什么 What?
保母在压力下仍保有耐心 ? A nanny keeps her patience under pressure ?
你阻止不了我的 保母 ? You'll never stop me, Nanny ?
尽可能坚强与机智 ? Forceful and resourceful as can be ?
-不可能 你死了 -小克 怎么了 - This can't be! You're dead! - Cliff, what's going on?
她都能让家中井然有序 ? She keeps the goddamn house in order ?
我要抓那些孩子 ? I'm gonna get those kids ?
那你就必须经过我这关 ? Then, you'll have to go through me ?
我不能让我妈背黑锅 I can't let my mom take the fall.
是我做的 I did this.
我杀了班 不 I killed Ben... No!
我杀了班 I killed Ben.
-没关系 -不要 别过来 我会跳下去 - It's okay - No, don't! I will jump!
为了孩子 ? For the sake of a child ?
-不 小克 你干嘛 - 我愿放弃生命 No! Cliff, what are you doing?!
为了孩子 我愿出入地狱 ? For the sake of a child To Hell and back, I'd go ?
小克 别这样 Cliff, stop!
不要 别跳 No, don't!
-我会跳 我真的会跳 -谁快来帮忙 I'll do it! I'll really do it! Someone help!
有人在我的夹层吗 Is someone in my rafters?
警官不是三场戏前就死了吗 Didn't the constable die, like, three scenes ago?
对 但新斯科细亚的警官就会那样跑步 Yeah, but that is exactly the way a Nova Scotian constable would run.
我就知道 一直都是你 你就是凶手 I knew it! It was you all along! You're the killer!
我不是凶手 I'm not just the killer.
我是他们的父亲 I'm the father!
该死 Oh... fuck.
没错 他们是我的孩子 你别阻挡我 That's right! Those kids are mine. And you can't stand in the way!
除非我死了 Over my dead body.
-直到我咽下最后一口气 -直到我咽下最后一口气 BEN/LORETTA ? Till my last breath I'd take ?
-我都会坚定不移 -我都会坚定不移 ? I'll stay steadfast for the sake ?
-为了孩子 -为了孩子 ? Of a child ?
-你永远无法将我击败 -你永远无法将我击败 ? You never will defeat me ?
-为了孩子 死亡也不足为惧 -为了孩子 死亡也不足为惧 ? For a child To death, I'd dare to go ?
是的 我甘冒生命危险
-老天 好多阶梯 -别过来 God, that's a lot of stairs. Stay back!
小克 你做什么 Cliff! What are you doing?
别让他过来 - Keep him away! - Wait.
为了... ? For the sake... ?
希望你喜欢透过监狱栅栏亲妈咪 Hope you like kissing mommy between prison bars.
你可能真的会哦 孩子 Actually, you might. Boy.
-为了 -为了 - ? For the sake ? - ? For the sake ?
为了 ? For the sake... ?
为了孩子 For the sake of a child.
-天啊 -拜托你伸手过来 Oh, my God! Please, give me your hand!
小克 天啊 Cliff! Jesus!
好 Okay.
-好多阶梯 -对吧 - That's a lot of stairs! - Right?
别过来 Stay back!
老天 Oh, jeez!
我不去坐牢 I'm not going to prison!
奥利佛 我想问你 Oliver, can I ask you,
《水花四溅》的人鱼 是从这高度掉下去的吗 were the Mermen in Splash this high when they fell?
不是 你这高度更高 No, I think you're a bit higher, son.
他们不怎么痛吧 And was it painless?
不对 你绝对没听过人鱼那样尖叫 Oh no, no, no, no. You have never heard Mermen scream like that.
跟我妈说我很抱歉 我爱她 Tell my mother I'm sorry. Tell her I love her.
叫她丢掉我床底下的盒子 别打开它 Tell her to throw away the box under my bed without opening it.
请你们坚持那一点 Please insist on that.
-小克 -天啊
那是意外 妈 It was an accident, Mom.
我发誓 I swear.
没关系 亲爱的 有我在 It's okay, honey. I've got you.
把幕拉上 Close the curtain!
这是我看过最奇怪的戏了 This is the strangest fucking play I've ever seen.
我是原本的导演 我的版本更奇怪 I was the original director. My version was stranger.
还好我没演这一出 I'm so glad I'm not in this.
我爱你 妈咪 I love you, Mommy.
要谢幕了 大家都下来谢幕 Curtain call! Everyone down here for curtain call!
谢幕 Curtain call!
-好 我们走吧 来 -走吧 走吧 - Alright, let's go. - Come on. Come on.
鞠躬 Bow!
我拿到麦欣的剧评了 I have Maxine's review!
好 Okay. Uh...
「若说我对《临死之鸣大惊奇》有过质疑 "To say I had my doubts about Death Rattle Dazzle
还算是客气了 但...」 would be an understatement, but..."
等等 它要我订阅 才让我看全文 Hang on. It's making me subscribe if I wanna read the rest.
真假 我以为我还能看四篇文章 Really? I thought I had, like, four articles left.
谁有信用卡 Does anyone have a credit card?
真是够了 For the love of God.
好 Okay.
「但没想到 在奥利佛帕南大胆的执导下」... "But, it turns out, under Oliver Putnam's bold direction..."
对 Yes!
「连台下的丑角都为帕南式的疯狂添色 "...even the offstage antics add to the Putnam-inspired insanity.
这部沾满灰尘的旧作 经过医美 "And this dusty old chestnut has been Botoxed, bedazzled,
大改造 已经死而复生了」 and brought back to life!"
好耶
-恭喜大家 我办到了 -好耶 Congratulations, everybody! Yeah! I did it!
天啊 天啊 Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
老天爷 Oh, Jesus. I'm so glad.
我梦想中的首演夜 The opening night of my dreams.
和我的梦中情人 With the girl of my dreams.
我们又来到这里了 And here we are again.
-钢琴前 -钢琴前 - At the piano. - At the piano.
谢谢你 Thank you.
不 谢谢你才对 No, thank you.
幸运德金 Lucky Durkin.
嘿 Hey.
《纽奥良实习医生 家庭烧伤中心》的人打来 Uh, that was Grey's New Orleans: Family Burn Unit.
他们愿意等你 但我不确定该不该接 They say they're willing to wait for you. I'm not sure we take it though.
也有人想找你演《海达嘉布勒》的主角 There's also interest in you to play the lead in Hedda Gobbler.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
那部跟火鸡有关的动画片 The animated feature, the one about the turkeys.
我得接这通电话 I gotta take this.
喂 我是迪奇 Yeah, it's Dickie.
你有知名度了 Y-You-You've got heat.
是啊 Yeah!
但我不确定我想不想接那些工作 I'm not sure I wanna take either one of those jobs though.
因为那可能代表离开这里 Because it might mean leaving here.
那也代表追随你的梦想 It would also mean following your dream.
跟你儿子重新开始 And a fresh start with your son.
-是啊 -我喜欢洛杉矶 - Yeah. - And I like LA.
待一阵子 In small...
还可以 doses.
该死的动物 去开房间啦 Fucking hell. Get a room.
你看 是加州的红酒 Oh, look at that. It's California red.
说到这个 我们谈过以后 Speaking of which, have you done any California dreaming
你作过加州梦了吗 since we talked earlier?
我作了很多梦 I have... lots of dreams.
是吗 Do you now?
意思是 Meaning?
好 你说得对 Okay, you're right.
我确实需要让自己脱困 I do need to get unstuck.
但我需要解开的东西在纽约这里 But, the stuff that I need to unstick is here. In New York.
是啊 Yeah.
我有料到可能会是这个结果 没关系 Well, I thought that might be where this was headed. It's okay.
但我可以去看你 我喜欢洛杉矶 But I could come visit. I like LA.
待一阵子还可以 In... small doses.
对 我也是 Yeah, me, too.
不 不会吧 Pick again. No, you did it!
洛杉矶 美好到被命名为「天使之城」的城市 Los Angeles. A city so nice, they named it Los Angeles.
大家都要去那里啊 So, everyone's going there.
但我们会待在大苹果 But, in the Big Apple we remain.
也许我们可以找个悬案来查 Maybe we could dig up a cold case or something.
我就扛着一箱悬案 I got a cold case for ya!
-赛丝 -赛丝 Sazz!
要放在哪里 好 Where do I put it, huh?
你怎么进来的 There you go. How'd you get in here?
谁知道 我复制了你所有钥匙吗 Who knows? Have I made copies of all your keys?
就像我说的 谁知道 Like I said, who... knows?
-好 快来拍照 -好 Okay, okay. Photo op. Photo op. Oh yeah.
我爱这些合照 好 I love these. Alright.
-好样的 -看看你们 Look at that. Hey, listen, um,
等你有空 我有件事要找你谈 I got something I need to talk to you about when you get a sec, huh?
-有点敏感 -好 - It's a little sensitive. - Yeah, sure.
既然我们要庆祝 我要上楼去 Hey! Well, since we're celebrating, I'm gonna go upstairs,
拿一瓶我珍藏的 1966年的阿根廷马尔贝克红酒 and I'm gonna get a bottle of 1966 Argentinian Malbec I've been saving.
天堂马尔贝克 Malbecita del Cielo.
那一年只产了五瓶 因为葡萄很小颗 Only five bottles were made that year because the grapes were so small.
哇 Okay.
哇 Wow.
我刚刚收到裘伊浪漫的试探讯息 I just got a romantic feeler text from Joy.
什么 What?
-她说了什么 -她说:「斯科特巴库拉向你问好」 What'd she say? She says, "Scott Bakula says hi."
那才不浪漫 That's not romantic.
医生说:「太热了 」 他说:「不 太甜了」 And the doctor said, "Too hot?" And he said, "No, too sweet!"
有人看到查尔斯吗 Has anyone seen Charles?
他不是去拿酒了吗 Didn't he go get some more wine?
她怎么这么慢 Hey, what's taking her so long?
赛丝最好别自己喝我们的天堂马尔贝克 Sazz better not be drinking our Malbecita del Cielo without us.
全世界只有... You know there are only five--
只有五瓶 Five bottles in the whole world.
因为葡萄很小颗 Because of the tiny grapes.
你已经念过酒的介绍了 Yes, you've already read us the wine's biography.
我喜欢有关土壤的那一段 I love the part about the soil.
是不是很有趣 Isn't that fascinating?
-超棒的 -是啊 It so is. Yeah, it's great.
(老比利时拉格啤酒)
(《临死之鸣大惊奇 》音乐剧 )
(恭喜 这次没人死掉 希望如此 )
字幕翻译:宋梅君