恒星衰落后残余的部分 A small fading remnant of a star.
-白矮星 -答对了 - A white dwarf. - That's right!
我用了巧记法 I used a memory technique.
矮子讨厌被叫成侏儒 Dwarves hate being called midgets
侏儒很矮 and midgets are small.
那 And
恒星[明星]坍缩[贬值]之后会变成什么 what does a star turn into after it collapses?
ABC台的《流金电影》 A movie of the week.
-黑洞 -对了 - Black hole. - Right!
特洛伊 你可以当天文学家 Troy! You could be an astronomer.
据我所知 As far as I'm concerned
只有一个"黑洞"值得钻研 there's only one black hole worth studying.
那就是人马座A It's called sagittarius A.
坐落于银河系的中央 It's located in the center of our galaxy
密度是太阳的40倍 and it has the density of 40 suns.
就像我的"香肠" Just like my weiner.
你用香肠来形容 太有趣了 You said weiner. That's funny.
一开始 老皮和小特关系不咋样 Pierce and Troy didn't get along at first
现在 却在共有的青春期中打得火热 but now they're bonding through mutual adolescence.
-闭嘴 奶头娃 -闭嘴吧 呆瓜 - Shut up, boo-boo head. - Will you shut up, fart head?
大家好 Hi, everybody.
看来这个小组在开什么会啊 Well, look at this group having some kind of meeting
民族大团结啊 and being so diverse.
真的是 天呐 There is just--boy!
真是啥型号的人都有哦 不是吗 There is just one of every kind of you, isn't there?
我们还缺个无名小卒 Well, we are missing a pipsqueak,
但咱们不想要 闪人吧你 but we don't want one, so beat it.
皮尔斯 这是院长 Um, Pierce, that's the Dean.
开玩笑吧 Are you kidding?
抱歉 运气真背 Sorry. Just my luck.
没事 你们继续 It's all right. Don't let me interrupt.
有时我就像个橄榄球 在学院里滚来滚去 Sometimes I just roll around campus like a little football.
这也太巧了吧 I can't believe this.
我随意一句话 就说到了橄榄球 Here I am in a random conversation about football
交流对象还是特洛伊·巴恩斯 and I'm talking to Troy Barnes,
河畔高中的明星四分卫 star quarterback from Riverside High.
特洛伊 你知道格林德尔也有橄榄球队吗 Troy, did you know that Greendale has a football team?
你知道他们有一个橄榄球吗 Did you know they had a football?
真有趣 That's very funny.
特洛伊 很抱歉听说你受过伤 Troy, I was so sorry to hear about your injury.
但你现在康复了 But now that you have recovered,
我们希望你为了"人类"重拾旧业 we would love for you to play for the "Human Beings".
球队的名字叫"人类"? The team's name is the "Human Beings"?
是 我的主意 Yeah. My idea.
本来叫"格林德尔灰熊"的 It was the "Greendale Grizzlies",
但我认为 but I thought that, um...
这里有很多学生 一辈子都被人称呼为动物 Well, a lot of these students have been called animals their whole lives.
遗憾的是 我不知道用什么来做吉祥物 Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about the mascot.
我能帮上忙 院长大人 Oh, I can help you with that, your honor.
我在形象管理 标志开发 I have a wealth of experience
还有千年虫防御方面 in image management, icon development
很有经验 and y2k preparedness.
那你岂不是生财有道 Woo, well, aren't you find money?
特洛伊 你的朋友们都排着队 Troy, all of your friends are lining up
来改变格林德尔 to turn Greendale around.
你呢 How about you?
特洛伊不再对橄榄球感兴趣了 Troy isn't interested in football anymore.
倒立啤酒桶上受伤 Getting injured in that keg stand
对他来说是最好不过的事情了 was the best thing that ever happened to him.
很有小野洋子风范嘛 Whoa! Yoko Ono much?
[一般认为列侬的妻子洋子 是导致披头士解散的原因]
兄弟比女人重要啊 特洛伊 Bros before holes, Troy.
听我说 老兄 Listen, man.
无意冒犯 但我以前是最棒的 No offense, but I was the best,
而且是巅峰时隐退 and I finished on top.
我可不会给立杆只有10英尺的学校效力 I wouldn't play for this school with a 10-foot pole.
[新式标准球门横杆离地10英尺 立杆最高点离地30英尺]
院长 我肯定特洛伊会为球队效力的 Dean, I'm sure Troy will sign up for football
只要有个什么天灾人祸 if and when some accident
让他脑子里体会自豪感的部分坏掉就行 damages the part of his brain that feels pride.
在那之前 能让咱学习不 Until then, would you excuse us?
好吧 如果你回心转意了 All right, well, uh, if you change your mind
绿茵地永远向你敞开 the field is always open.
这是语言上的比喻 Oh, figuratively speaking.
周三和周日 You know, Wednesdays and Sundays
球场是超级教会的备用停车场 it's used as parking overflow for the mega-church.
闪了 Okay.
现在 咱们向着语言学分的 Now let's meet the minimum requirements
最低要求迈进吧 for a language credit, shall we?
好的 但我要先去趟洗手间 Yes, but I need to go to the bathroom first.
-布雷塔? -不 我不用去 - Uh, Britta? - Oh, no, I don't have to go.
我和你一起去 I'll go with you.
怎么了 她感觉被冒犯了吗 What? She's offended?
淑女是组团去洗手间的 Girls go in groups.
90年代的单口相声 你都白看了吗 Did you learn nothing from stand-up comedy in the '90s?
我知道这个说法 我只是 好吧 I'm familiar with the concept. I'm just-- Fine.
如果这对雪瑞来说很重要 If it's important to Shirley
下次我会陪她去 I'll go with her next time.
我乐意尝试一些主流女性化的东西 I'm willing to try some more mainstream feminine stuff.
那你应该知道 想宣告女人味 与我共度良宵 Well, then you should know that nothing says "I'm a woman"
是最佳选择 like doing it with me.
你代言色猪 才是最佳选择 Nothing says "I'm a pig" like you.
到底有没有戏? 暧昧之情暗涌 Will they or won't they? Sexual tension.
阿布蒂 你把我们当作电视角色来点评时 Abed, it makes the group uncomfortable when you talk about us
整个学习小组都会不自在 like we're characters in a show you're watching.
可我吸引眼球就靠这个啊 Well, that's sort of my gimmick.
但我们上周的确太依赖这噱头了 But we did lean on that pretty hard last week.
低调一集没问题 I can lay low for an episode.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.net
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翻译：Vin Leon Jacquelinezhao 时间轴：独醉
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校对：独醉 后期：鱼骨头 总监：青蛙
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《废柴联盟》第一季 第六集
你确定不加入球队 You sure you made the right call
是正确的选择吗 特洛伊 on the football team, Troy?
看起来他们还赢过一次 It looks like they won something once.
最有价值客户 亨德森奖杯陈列柜 "Most valued customer. Henderson trophy cases."
那我们等会儿应该再学一些天文学 对吗 So we should still study a little more astronomy later, right?
关于银河或者火星什么的[均为巧克力条的名字] Maybe over some "Milky Ways" or some "Mars Bars".
或者煎薄饼 Or pancakes!
我是杰夫 我是格林德尔的学生 "I'm Jeff. And I'm a student at Greendale."
这可不是好事 That's not good.
木材经历急速氧化 Wood undergoes rapid oxidation
因为其必然的反应... because it reacts spontaneously to--
在座的 又来? 我们已经说过这事了 Okay, guys, seriously. We've talked about this, okay?
你们得关掉手机 You have got to turn off your cell--
是我的 不好意思 That's mine. My bad.
我要去洗手间 I'm going to the bathroom.
你要和我一起去吗 Would you like to come with me?
好好 我去 Well, yes, yes, I would.
太好了 Oh, that's nice!
好的 叫什么 Okay, what's it called?
安东尼 安 稍等 Antoni--An--hold on.
谁有笔 有笔吗 Does anyone have a pen? Pen?
没人有笔 No one has a pen.
你们上课为什么不带笔 Why would you not bring a pen to class?
白痴 Idiot.
不 不是说你白痴 No, you're not an idiot.
我的方向灯已经亮了大约五分钟 I had my blinker on about five minutes
那个混蛋衰人明明就是个秃头 还戴个头巾想遮起来 and this no-good, clearly bald, but trying to hide it with a bandana loser
给他一下子就抢过去了 亏他做的出来 swooped right in. I couldn't believe it.
-可能他没看见你 -他看见我了 - Maybe he didn't see you. - He saw me!
或许 他也开了方向灯 Maybe he had his blinker on too.
可能吧 布雷塔 你家里有什么人 Maybe. So you got any family, Britta?
谁在乎啊 Yeah, whatever.
我妈这周末可能会来 Think my mom might visit this weekend.
我们打算去水疗中心改头换面下 She and I are gonna get makeovers at that SPA--
改头换面 Makeovers.
看来咱们都程式化了 不是吗 They sure have us programmed, right?
我是女性愉悦装置 I am a female pleasure unit.
我要求喷涂新外形 I require a new coat of paint.
我只是觉得也许会很有意思 Just something I thought might be fun.
告诉你我觉得什么有意思 Here's something I think might be fun.
不妨弄清楚化妆品公司老板是女性的 有多少家 Let's find out the number of makeup companies that are owned by women.
我就省事直说了 一家都没有 I'll save you the trouble. It's zero.
但你肯定会说 布雷塔 But of course you're saying, "Britta,
你不觉得自己很虚伪吗 aren't you a hypocrite?
你从头到脚不也浓妆艳抹吗 You're plastered with glitter and goo from head to toe
就像其他人一样 just like the rest of us."
对了 我还交个人所得税 警察叫停就靠边停车 Well, I also pay income tax and pull over for cops
但这并不意味着我就支持 but that doesn't mean I support--
谢谢你挺身而出 帮忙设计新的吉祥物 Thanks for offering to help design the new mascot.
-我 灵感有点卡住的说 -小事一桩 - I, uh, have been a little stumped. - That's no problem.
顺便说一句 我自作主张地借鉴了达·芬奇的《维特鲁威人》 By the way, I took the liberty of thumbnailing a human being prototype
画出了缩小版"人类"的雏形 which I modeled after Da Vinci's Vitruvian Man.
但我觉得生殖器小了点 The penis is a little small, I think.
我觉得 好吧 Oh, I think it's-- Oh. Okay.
我觉得跟你还挺像的 It looks a lot like you.
但有个问题 Um, here's the thing.
如果我们说自己是"人类" If we are the Human Beings, you know
却弄个白色人种的吉祥物 and we have a mascot that's just a white guy,
那我们在传达什么信息呢 what message are we sending?
应该选一个能体现 Our symbol needs to reflect
我们学校人种多元化的象征物 the diversity of our school and our species.
这么说 黑皮肤? So black?
不行不行 不是格林德尔黑色系 No. No, because we're not the Greendale blacks,
霍桑先生 也不是格林德尔的亚洲色系 Mr. Hawthorne, or the Greendale Asians
或其他教条式 or any other creed.
我们可是格林德尔"人类"哦 We are the Greendale Human Beings.
进来 Yeah.
抱歉打扰二位 Sorry to disturb you guys
很明显某人正在欣赏皮尔斯 who are clearly looking at a naked drawing
展体跳跃的裸体画 of Pierce doing jumping jacks.
-院长 请借一步说话 -当然可以 - Dean, a quick download, please? - Uh, absolutely.
-失陪先 -去吧 等下告诉我聊了啥 - Excuse me. - Okay. Fill me in later.
我要用铅笔画 I'll go with a pencil.
首先呢 First of all,
-我深感荣幸 -不用啦 - I'm flattered. - Oh, well.
你很上镜的说 你这是真的早起凌乱发型 You're a very photogenic man. Is that real "Bed Head",
还是用了"宝贝蛋"弹力素 我感受下? 好酥脆哦 or do you put something in there? Can I? Oh, it's crispy.
我看到这四个没有躯体的头时 I was thinking about the four disembodied heads
我就在想 那颗心在哪里 and I thought, where's the heart?
灵魂在何处 Where's the soul?
这张海报的独特之处在哪里 Where's the different poster design?
我也觉得这海报没有体现出个性化的一面 You know, I did think those were less than personable
这就是为何我把全身相印在了 which is why I went with the full bodies
要寄出的宣传单上 in these mailers we have going out.
邮寄宣传单 我可没同意你这么做 Mailers? I didn't give permission for this.
杰夫瑞 难道你没读入学注册表背面的 Jeffrey, did you not read the release agreement
免责协议吗 on the back of your registration form?
我终于知道某人的律师身份 为什么是过去式了 I'm starting to see why someone used to be a lawyer.
哈哈 击个掌先 Ha ha! Up top!
如果外面的人发现... If someone from the outside were to find--
好吧 如果外面的人发现我是 Okay, if someone from the outside were to find out
社区大学出来的 that I am a student at a community college,
那将对我未来的事业有负面影响 that could have a negative impact on my future career.
老天爷哟 Oh. Goodness.
瞧瞧这是怎样的机缘巧合 Look what we have stumbled onto
咱们互相帮助下吧 an opportunity to help each other out.
我想 我可能用不上这些推广手段 I suppose I wouldn't need this promotional campaign
前提是我向媒体宣布 if I could announce to the press
特洛伊·巴恩斯为本校橄榄球队效力 that Troy Barnes is playing football here.
我觉得他已经婉拒的很干脆了 I think he's been pretty clear about declining that offer.
我觉得 你说"跳" 他会说"跳多高" I think if you said "jump" he'd say "how high?"
你说"停" 他会接"汉默时代" If you said "stop" he'd say "Hammer time."
[MC·汉默《U Can't Touch This》的歌词]
你有点明白我意思了吧 You starting to get what I mean?
不明白 再给个例子 No. I need another example.
哎呀 我之前没意识到 You know, I didn't realize before
我们应该把那些宣传单 but we should send those out
发给本地商家 to local businesses.
律师事务所也成 Law firms.
律师的 Lawyer
公司? companies?
法律代表的 Legal
聚集地? gatherings?
你是在威胁我吗 Are you trying to blackmail me?
没错 I think so.
先生们 Gentlemen,
请欣赏格林德尔"人类" I present to you the Greendale Human Being.
这是配枪的猎鹰 That's a falcon with a gun.
这是勃起的猎鹰 Now it's a falcon with an erection.
好啊 阿布蒂 Oh! Hi, Abed!
拜拜 他正在低调中 Bye. He's just laying low.
你是去洗手间吗 Oh, are you going to the bathroom?
-是啊 -我陪你一起去吧 - Uh, yes. - I'll go with you.
我自己能解决 不劳烦您 You know what? I'm good.
她也许是要 She probably just, you know...
要上大号 had to go number two.
好啦 离地球最近的星球是什么 Okay. What's the closest planet to earth?
好莱坞星球[创始于91年的主题餐饮连锁] Planet Hollywood.
虽然答的不正确 That's not the right answer.
但证明了天文学也可以很有趣 But it shows how fun astronomy can be.
特洛伊 能跟你聊几句吗 Hey, Troy, can I talk to you for a sec?
我们正学习 特洛伊忙着呢 We're studying, so Troy's busy.
放心 银河系又不会跑 Well, the galaxy's not going anywhere.
我一会儿把他领回来 I'll bring him back.
你有没有怀念过四分卫时代 特洛伊 You ever miss being a quarterback, Troy?
我怀念做牛人的时代 I miss being the best at something.
我怀念有教练的时代 I miss having a coach.
我怀念知道该想什么的时代 I miss knowing what to think.
你现在也知道该想什么 特洛伊 You still know what to think, Troy.
-那就好 -比如说 - Oh, good. - For instance,
院长跟你说了橄榄球的事之后 after the Dean talked to you about football,
你和我的想法一致 you and I were thinking the same thing.
那家伙真像莫比[美电子音乐人 光头戴眼镜] That dude looks like Moby!
我们是想 特洛伊为格林德尔球队效力会怎样 We were thinking what if Troy did play for Greendale?
你会惊喜的发现 You'd be surprised
很多你喜欢的橄榄球员的职业生涯 at how many of your favorite football players
是从社区大学开始的 got started at community college.
是吗 说一个听听 Really? Name one.
-你最喜欢哪位 -我自己 - Who's your favorite player? - Me.
也许咱们应该去看看格林德尔的 Maybe you and I should go check out
"雷鸣穹顶"[著名赛车道] the Greendale thunderdome.
穹顶会有的 伴随着雷鸣出现 The dome arrives later. It comes with thunder.
透露点我的小秘密给你吧 特洛伊 Let me tell you a little secret about me, Troy.
每天来学校的路上 Every day on my way to school,
我都会开车穿过市区 途经法院 I drive through downtown past the courthouse,
只为看一眼那个我曾经独霸一方的地方 just to get a glimpse of the world that I once ruled.
我真想跳下车 And I just wanna jump out of my car
跑上台阶 run up the steps and
用法律制度去谋利 exploit the legal system for profit.
但我什么都做不了 But I can't.
我被我的王国拒之门外 I'm locked out of my old kingdom.
但你不像我这样 你明白我意思吗 You're not. You see what I'm saying?
你是说我能成为一名律师 You're saying I could be a lawyer.
我是说你是个橄榄球运动员 I'm saying you're a football player!
-你天生就是 -种族歧视 - It's in your blood! - That's racist!
-内心是 -还是种族歧视 - Your soul. - That's racist.
-眼神? -那是同性恋 - Your eyes? - That's gay?
-这是歧视同性恋 -黑人就这样 - That's homophobic. - That's black.
-种族歧视 -该死 - That's racist! - Damn.
你打球时 你就是神 When you played, you were a god.
现在你不打球了 变成凡人一个 Now you're not playing, and you're not.
我可以告诉你怎么来理清关系 I'd tell you to do the math
但是这些并不重要 but math isn't important.
唯一重要的是这个 The only thing that's important is this.
是啊 但是安妮说 Yeah, but Annie said--
安妮还说《本杰明·巴顿》的情节引人入胜呢 Annie said that Benjamin Button was compelling.
听着 她是个聪明的女生 Look, she's a smart girl,
但有时候她也会犯错 85号 长传 but sometimes she's just wrong. 85--go long!
这就像嗑药一样 又爽又戒不掉 It's like a drug, isn't it?
感觉下 特洛伊 传球 Feel it, Troy. Throw it!
记分板亮灯 The scoreboard lights up.
以后那里会有记分板的 There will be a scoreboard there.
成功了 接得好 It's complete! Nice catch!
美女 荣誉 球探 职业生涯 The girls, the glory, the scouts, the career!
都在你加入球队后随风而来 It starts when you join this team.
那线卫是个孕妇吗 Is that linebacker a pregnant woman?
听着 你可以等下再认识他们 Look, you can meet them later.
你必须作决定 特哥 But this decision has to be yours, T-bone.
而这个决定必须是"入伙" And this decision has to be yes.
你怎么知道我绰号叫特哥 How did you know my nickname's T-bone?
因为你是个橄榄球运动员 Because you're a football player
而且你的名字 以特开头 and your name begins with "T".
你的名字 以特 Your name begins
开头 with "T".
布雷塔 Britta?
你搞定啦 Oh. Are you finished?
我是说 我也要去 I mean, I have to go
但是显然 昨天洗手间闺蜜的选拔 but apparently, I failed yesterday's tryouts
我落选了 for the position of bathroom companion.
布雷塔 我不是有意让你难过的 Oh, Britta, I wasn't trying to hurt your feelings.
你没有让我难过 雪瑞 You didn't hurt my feelings, Shirley.
我去洗手间可不需要护驾 I don't need to go to the bathroom with other people.
我只是因为喜欢你才想给你点好处 I was just trying to throw you a bone because I like you.
哎哟 好处你自己留着吧 Oh. You can keep that bone.
昨天告诉你一陌生人把姐姐我惹火了 Listening to a story about a stranger pissing me off
你居然替他说话 and taking the stranger's side?
你自己的事一点也不肯分享 And then you can't talk about your own business
却暗示说我妈是个机器人 but you insinuate my mama's a robot,
就因为她和我想去改头换面一下 because she and I want makeovers.
那是女洗手间 布雷塔 That is the ladies' room, Britta.
女性用来分享 倾听 互相支持的圣殿 A place where ladies go to share, listen, support each other
当然也谨慎地排泄杂物 and discreetly eliminate waste.
我也喜欢你 And I like you too.
甚至欣赏你为人处事有些棱角 Even like that you're a little hard.
但是如果你不能学着在那里变温柔 But if you can't learn to be soft in there,
那你小便时想找人护驾都不可能 you need to pee alone.
我已经孤单小便一辈子了 I've peed alone my whole life.
女人总是恨我 Women have always hated me.
我甚至都不知道怎么开始的 I don't even know how it started.
也许是因为我的胸部发育比其他女生早 Maybe it was when I got boobs before everyb--
嘘 Shh
别在这里说 Not out here.
去那里吧 In there.
哈哈 特洛伊 特洛伊 神奇小子 Ha ha! Troy, Troy, the wonder boy!
你的书掉了 四眼弟弟 You dropped your books, poindexter.
特洛伊 我都等你一个小时了 Troy, I've been waiting for an hour.
有啥大不了 我值得你等 It's all right, I'm worth it.
嘻 哈 动起来别停下 *Hip, hop, body don't stop*
河畔高中有扫帚 谁还要拖把 *Riverside got the broom, don't need a mop*
特哥抖擞精神 闪亮登场啦 咱不是约翰·克里 *Put your T-man in the box, put a ribbon on top. We're not John Kerry*
[06年曾演讲说"不好好学习就会被困在伊拉克" 得罪了全美国大兵]
绝不当二傻[04年落选总统后任麻州民主党参议员] *'cause we don't flip-flop*
特洛伊 为什么你要唱这首政治上保守 Troy. Why are you doing a politically conservative
过时的丢人的高中球队说唱 high school shamefully outdated fight rap?
你刚才打橄榄球了吗 Have you been playing football?
就是随便扔了扔球 Threw the skin around a couple of times.
宝刀未老 Still got it.
去吧 Doosh!
但你知道我们明天有个天文学测验 But you knew we had an astronomy test tomorrow.
这课无聊死了 Class blows.
我唯一需要了解的关于宇宙的事 What I need to know about the universe
就是我处在中心 is that I'm at the center of it.
来吧 一起来 *Bing, bong, sing along.*
跟阿尔·戈尔一伙儿 没有好戏唱 *Your team's Al Gore 'cause your views are wrong.*
[克林顿掌政时的副总统 2000年大选败给小布什]
特洛伊 停下 Troy! Stop!
别再变回那种人了 Don't become this person again.
那不是真正的你 This isn't the real you.
那是个傲慢的运动男 This is the arrogant jock
自大的完全无视唯一不是因为浮华表面 that totally ignored the only people that truly liked him
而是真正喜欢他的人 for non-superficial reasons.
但那人什么都不能说 But weren't allowed to say anything
因为那人的父母是老顽固 because their parents are bigots!
啥 Huh?
打橄榄球对你没好处 特洛伊 Football is bad for you, Troy.
杰夫说过你会这么说 Jeff said you'd say that.
杰夫 什么 Jeff what now?
特洛伊 特洛伊 特洛伊 特洛伊 Troy! Troy, Troy, Troy.
这是我的名字 That's my name.
我想 如果加点菲力西亚·罗夏德[漂亮的黑珍珠] I think if we add in a little bit of Phylicia Rashad
-形象更饱满 -是啊 没错 - we'll be in better shape. - Yeah, you're right.
这米黄色有点太亮了 That beige is a little light.
是 是 Yeah. Yeah.
我们在开发一个完美的吉祥物 We are developing the perfect mascot.
没有任何老套的种族性别特征 No stereotypical identifiers from any race or gender.
看 杰夫 这是一个我们不能用的 See, Jeff, this is a chart of the features
容貌的图表 泛亚洲的眼褶 we're staying away from-- Pan-asian eye folds,
爱尔兰的下巴 女人的胸部 Irish chins, women's breasts.
-那是希尔吗[著名黑人歌手] -那是人类皮肤色盘 - Is that Seal? - That is our human color wheel.
从希尔的黑皮肤 到希尔的白牙 It goes from Seal to Seal's teeth.
你认为怎么样 What do you think?
我认为故意避免种族歧视 就是一种新的种族歧视 I think not being racist is the new racism.
模型怎么这个样子 What happened to the prototype?
我把鼻子落在窑炉里了 Ooh! I left the nose in the kiln.
听着 特洛伊会加入橄榄球队 So Troy is gonna play football.
好的 Yes!
那就意味着我可以摆脱这些了 Which means I'll be getting rid of these.
是 我不会把这些寄出去 No. I won't mail these out
但是东西得放在我这里 but they are staying with me
直到媒体正式报导特洛伊加入球队为止 until the press announces that Troy is a part of the team.
我想让他参加今晚的赛前动员会 And I want him at that pep rally tonight.
有记者到场 Reporters are gonna be there.
我们的新吉祥物也将公诸于众 We're gonna unveil the new mascot.
我终于可以扬眉吐气了 And things are finally going to start turning around.
并且 我的前心理医生 Oh, and my ex-therapist
以后用我的工作开玩笑前 得先三思了 is gonna think twice before he makes fun of my job!
在这里 还热着呢 Here it is. Still hot.
院长 我去弄些咖啡 Oh, Dean, I'm gonna get some more coffee.
-你需要吗 -要 - You want anything? - Oh, yeah.
一杯德斯蒙德·屠图[黑人大主教 84年诺贝尔和平奖得主] a Desmond Tutu
加些奶油弄成卢·戴蒙德·菲利普斯[菲律宾裔明星] with just enough cream to make it a Lou Diamond Phillips.
演《青春传奇》的那位 知道了 La bamba. Got it.
我一直跟着你 I've been following you.
院长贿赂了你多少 让你说服特洛伊去打球 How much did the Dean pay you to make Troy play football?
我不会和那些从树丛中跳出来的人交谈的 I'm not having a conversation with someone who emerges from a bush.
被我说中了吗 Because I'm right?
不 因为我不是在给早餐麦片拍广告 No. Because I'm not in a commercial for breakfast cereal.
听着 院长有我的照片 了解吗 Look the Dean has pictures of me, okay?
关于我来他这儿上学的 Horrible pictures of me
可怕的照片 attending his school.
就因为这个 你就去说服特洛伊 And for that you'd convince Troy
让他的人生再次被橄榄球马桶冲走吗 to flush his life down football's toilet again?
布雷塔是对的 Britta's right,
你的自私程度已经堪称绝顶了 you are the most selfish person alive!
并且这一切也即将结束 And all that is gonna end right now.
因为我要让你这狐朋在他面前露出尾巴 Because I'm telling him what kind of friend you really are.
也许你应该告诉他 Maybe you should tell him
你已经无法自拔地爱上了他 you're hopelessly in love with him.
高中生活一定不好过吧 High school must have been tough, huh?
等待这位万人迷的注意 Waiting for a superstar to notice you.
但这里 在这里 他孤身一人 But here, here, he's all alone,
并且他需要很多帮助 and he needs so much help!
你是否选了所有他选的课 Did you enroll in all of his classes
或者说 担心这样会把他吓跑 or were you worried that might freak him out?
最重要的是 你在他身边支持着 The important thing is that you are there for him.
而且 你是唯一支持他的人 The important thing's you are the only one there for him.
至于他想要什么 你一点也不关心 And you don't really care what he wants.
你只想要成为他世界中的唯一 Just as long as you don't have to share him with the rest of the world.
说真的 你和我一样自私 Because, really, you are just as selfish as I am.
只是手段不够高明而已 You're just not as good at it yet.
你是对的 You're right.
自私方面 我永远及不上你 I could never be as good as you.
也许是因为 我会真正关心人 Probably because I actually care.
很有深度嘛 不过没什么意义 Profound, but technically meaningless.
别玩这套女生负气而走的把戏 And don't bother trying that thing that women do
别指望我觉得自己做了活该天打雷劈的事 where they walk away and make the guy feel like crap,
因为那绝对不会发生 because it won't happen!
不会 Yeah!
该死 Damn it.
雪瑞 能陪我去趟卫生间吗 Shirley, will you please come to the bathroom with me?
雪瑞在哪 Where's Shirley?
雪瑞不会来了 Shirley's not coming.
但有我在呢 But I'm here
来听你诉苦 妹子 to listen girl.
为什么我们会为了男人吃尽苦头 Why do we inflict so much pain on ourselves for men?
我不 I don't--
知道 亲爱的 know, sweetie.
也许 男人让世界转动 Maybe it's because men make the world go round?
[小布照搬了歌曲"Love Makes the World Go Round"]
要纸巾吗 Kleenex?
我一直 I've been
单恋着特洛伊 infatuated with Troy.
他现在要参加橄榄球队了 Now he's joining football.
他又会成为高高在上的佼佼者了 Now he'll have his pick of the litter and
我再也高攀不上了 I'll never get to be with him!
安妮 让他滚蛋 Oh, Annie, screw him!
大把男生宁死也会想要和你在一起 There are guys out there that would kill to be with you.
如果特洛伊没这种觉悟 And if Troy isn't one of them
那他根本就配不上你 that's him failing your standards.
明白吗 You got that?
你说的对 You're right.
我不能想着控制他 I can't control him.
如果我真的关心他的话 And if I truly cared about him
我就不会这样 I wouldn't want to.
布雷塔 谢谢你的开导 Thanks for talking to me, Britta.
-我好多了 -真的吗 - It really helped. - Seriously?
-是的 -我妹子真厉害 - Yes. - Who's my girl?
-借过 -我做到了 我做到了 - 'Scuse me! - I did it, I did it!
对 你做到了 Oh, yes, you did!
"人类" "人类" Human Beings, Human beings!
特洛伊 特洛伊 Troy! Troy!
-老弟 别进去 -你说什么 - Don't go in there, man. - What?
高中时的成绩 You got the most
是你在橄榄球界里能达到的顶峰了 you were ever gonna get out of football in high school.
幻想破灭和失落的人生 A life of disillusionment and depression
将会从走过那扇门开始 begins on the other side of that door.
这位哥们儿 Hey, man!
你第一次来参加赛前动员会吗 Is this your first pep rally or something?
是你告诉我 You told me
橄榄球是这个世界上最重要的东西 football was the most important thing in the world.
特洛伊 你要挺住 我那是吹水不打草稿 Well, buckle up, Troy. I was exaggerating.
我靠这个吸引眼球 听我说 It's kinda my gimmick. Let me tell you something--
不 还是你听我说吧 No, let me tell you something.
你知道那次倒立啤酒桶让我的奖学金泡汤了 You know that keg flip that cost me my scholarship?
知道 Yeah.
-我故意受伤的 -什么 - I hurt myself on purpose. - What?
决赛时 有个球探来到河畔高中 There was a scout coming to the final game at Riverside
我实在无法承受那种压力 and I couldn't take the pressure,
所以我选择了逃避 so I took the easy way out.
但当你带我去看球场时 But when you showed me that field
我觉得没什么可担心的 I saw there was nothing to worry about here.
我可以为了乐趣而打球 I could just play football for the fun of it.
我是说 看看这些家伙 I mean, have you seen these guys?
真是烂到不能再烂了 There is nowhere to go but up.
哥们儿 咱不是人肉背景 咱有感情 Dude, we have feelings.
我不知道你是怎样 I don't know about you
总之我来到这学校 but I know I ended up here,
是因为外面的世界不见得有多好 because things weren't that great out there.
老兄 既来之则安之吧 You should try accepting where you're at, man.
去上个陶艺课什么的 Take a pottery class or something.
格林德尔 我们是最棒的 Greendale, we're number one!
南希·佩洛西很无趣 Nancy Pelosi is no fun!
[美国众议院首位女性议长 貌似小特爱跟民主党较劲]
我已经决定支持特洛伊了 I've decided to support Troy.
打橄榄球时要部署吧 They deploy things in football, right?
我选择了押韵 放弃了通顺 I went for rhyme over clarity.
听我说 之前的事我很抱歉 Look, I'm, uh I'm really sorry about before.
我只是觉得我俩都错了 I just think we were both wrong.
是吗 我是18岁的小女生 Really? Because I'm an 18-year-old girl
你却让我大庭广众下哭泣 and you made me cry in public.
那个 好吧 可能我错得更多 Mm. Okay, maybe I was a little more wrong.
我应该成熟点 既来之则安之 I should grow up and make peace with being here.
我意思是 在格林德尔上学又不会丢掉小命或是怎样 I mean, it's not like Greendale's gonna kill me or anything.
老天爷啊 Holy crap!
对不起 Oh, sorry.
跟我们的种族中立吉祥物打声招呼吧 Hey, say hello to our ethnically neutral mascot--
格林德尔"人类" The Greendale Human Being.
这身打扮影响了他的视线 The costume makes it difficult for him to see.
他也没法说话 He can't move his mouth either.
依我来看 那是"人类"的问好 But take it from me, that's human for "hello."
我们带你去赛前动员会吧 Let's get you into the pep rally!
好主意 走吧 Great idea. Let's do it!
我们解决了种族歧视问题 下一步做啥 We've solved racism. What's next?
我们为矮个子做点什么吧 Uh, let's do something for little people.
-或者白化病患 -矮个白化病患 - Ooh! Or albinos! - Little albinos.
这一遭 恐怕是前无古人后无来者了 This has the potential to be a uniquely Greendale experience.
女士 Milady.
大人 Milord.
同学们 请注意 我是阿布蒂 Attention, students, this is Abed
还有迪斯科蜘蛛 And the disco spider
-在格林德尔广播 -格林德尔 - Here at Greendale - Greendale
意外吗 Say what?
几个简短通知 A few quick announcements.
通知一 Announcement No. 1.
所有通知从现在开始都会很酷 All announcements will be cool starting right now.
通知二 美臀汤 Announcement No. 2. Butt soup.
通知三 Announcement No.3
我不是《强尼·奎斯特历险记》里的哈吉 I am not Haji from Johnny Quest
引自杰夫·翁格[哈吉是卡通片中的印度王子] Jeff Winger.
安全问题方面 Uh, in security news,
院长办公室的门得锁上才行 you guys got to start locking the Dean's door
这样才能防止我们这种人进来 so guys like us don't get in.