中午吃饭的时候没看到你 Missed you at lunch today.
溜出去和性感教授"速战速决"了吗 Did you slip out for a quickie with Professor Hot Stuff?
她的名字是蜜雪儿 你又是怎么知道的 Her name is Michelle, and how did you know?
她奖励你的金星贴在拉链门前 There's a gold star on your fly.
你居然不是在开玩笑 You weren't kidding.
有一个有幽默感又"识货" You know, it's nice to have a girlfriend with
的女朋友可真幸福 a sense of humor and one who recognizes good work.
我来教你一些和弦的知识吧 Let me teach you the chords.
这就是G弦 是最重要的和弦 See, that's "G". That's the most important chord.
在我看来 它代表着"上帝" In my mind, it... it stands for "God".
为什么安妮会和那个"微点"讲话 Why is Annie talking to micro-nipples?
沃恩吗 随便她 Vaughn? Whatever.
但不是《圣经》里的那个上帝 But not like a Bible god,
那个上帝好似无处不在 because I think that god is in everything.
你好有内涵哦 You're complicated.
安妮 *Annie*
安妮 你今天要去哪里 *Annie, where are you going today?*
去上西班牙语课 Spanish class.
西班牙语 *Spanish*
这点我真是不理解 You know what I don't get?
他从来都是赤膊赤脚上阵 He never wears a shirt, he never wears shoes.
为什么还没死在温饱线下 Why hasn't he died from lack of service?
今晚还要在你宿舍看电影吗 You watching another movie in your dorm tonight?
《拳拳踢战警》 "Kickpuncher",
"恶魔"唐纳森饰演一个半机器人警察 starring Don, "The Demon" Donaldson as a cyborg cop
出拳的威力跟踢人一样大 whose punches have the power of kicks.
听起来是不折不扣的烂片 我会带爆米花来 That sounds awful. I'll bring the popcorn.
很好 Cool.
你们故意看烂片的吗 Uh, you... you watch bad movies on purpose?
是的 可以好好调侃一把 Yeah. We make fun of 'em.
雪瑞 别自讨没趣 Shirley, don't embarrass yourself.
我确信他们不会邀请家庭主妇的 I'm sure they don't want to invite a housewife.
事实是 只要雪瑞不介意老套的情节 Actually, if she doesn't mind reinforcing the stereotype,
我敢肯定她会觉得对电影说三道四是乐趣多多 I bet Shirley would have fun talking smack at a movie.
想一起看吗 Care to join us?
通常我不看烂片 Usually when a movie's bad, I stop watching,
但和你们一起显得很有大学味道 but this sounds college-y.
要我们几点到 What time do you want us there?
皮尔斯 你肯定不愿意待在阿布蒂 Pierce, you don't want to
的宿舍看机械战警类电影 watch a cyborg movie in Abed's dorm.
你更喜欢躺在你那成对儿的单人床上 You want to lay on your twin bed
回想你过去的光辉岁月 and think about what you used to be.
什么 你觉得我老到连取笑烂片的力气都没有了吗 What? You think I'm too old to make monkeyshines at a picture show?
省省吧 我比你们三个岁数加一起要年轻 Come on. I'm younger than the three of you put together.
布雷塔 Hi, Britta...
每个人都在谈论他的胸前两点 Yeah, you know, everyone talks about his nipples,
但让我起鸡皮的是他的脚 but his feet freak me out.
布雷塔 Britta!
我可不可以问你一些问题 Can I ask you something...
-关于沃恩的 -可以 - about Vaughn? - Oh, yes.
我到现在都还不知道"沃恩"是名还是姓 I still don't know if that's his first or last name.
其实他还算讨人喜欢 He's sweet, actually.
我是说 你一定曾经这么觉得过 I mean, you must have thought so.
我前阵比较小白的时候 的确被他的真诚吸引了 He has a sincerity I found attractive in a simpler time.
你介意... 额 我还没有... Would you... um, I haven't...
我们还没有... 发生任何事情 We haven't... anything.
-我是说 -哇 你和沃恩 - I mean... - Wow, you and Vaughn.
这会让你不开心吗 Would it bug you?
你和特洛伊没下文了吗 Well, what about you and Troy?
特洛伊 Troy...
有次西班牙语课后 The other day after Spanish,
我以为他想牵我的手 I thought he was trying to hold my hand,
原来他只是错把我当成了阿布蒂 but he'd just mistaken me for Abed.
他永远都不会把我往那方面考虑 He'll never think of me that way.
安妮 按常理我要做个恶毒前女友 Well, Annie, I would have to be a villain
告诉你别踩过界 但是我不会 to tell you who to date, which I am not.
布雷塔 谢谢你 Britta! Thank you.
你是我见过的最酷的女孩 You're the coolest girl I've ever met.
小丫太对了 我们击个掌吧 Damn right. Give me some fivesies.
象蛇一样灵活 Turning it into a snake.
酷 Cool.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.net
■
翻译：斑点周 时间轴：独醉
■
校对：独醉 后期：鱼骨头 总监：独醉
■
《废柴联盟》 第一季 第十五集
还好吗 Hey. How's it going?
你听说了吗 安妮和沃恩 真可爱的一对儿 Did you hear? It's cute... Annie and Vaughn.
哪部分可爱了 Get to the cute part.
她喜欢上他了 要我这个前女友的祝福 She's into him. She asked for my blessing.
你祝福他们了 And you gave it?
当然 我和他已经彻底结束了 Yeah. I'm done with him.
你这个自以为酷的愤青姐姐 这跟你没关系 Look, this isn't about you, you groovy hipster.
这关系到安妮的幸福 It's about Annie.
我们就像是她在格林德尔的父母 We're like her Greendale parents,
你应该对此情况一概说不 you got to say no to that stuff.
他没有那么差吧 He's not that bad.
是的 你28岁 Yeah, not if you're 28
和他鬼混一下自然不差 and you're fooling around with him.
但是她才18岁 She's 18.
选男人的品位还没完全形成 Her taste in men is still being established.
一旦沃恩得手了 比他更怪更贱的男人 Creepier and creepier dudes will start thinking
便会觉得安妮是可以到手的目标 of her as an option, and it all starts with Vaughn.
他绝对是个人渣闸口 He's a gateway douche bag.
擦身回眸 火花四射 People collide. Things happen.
爱情的发生是没法控制的 不是吗 It can't be controlled, right?
她和"星霸"的奉子成婚宴上 你可以送上这些贺词 And that can be your toast at her shotgun wedding to Star-Burns.
好的 转左边 Oh, yeah, turn to your left.
现在转右边 Oh, now turn to your right.
好的 这下两边的星星都看到了 Yes, we can see both of them.
就像是一个什么星座长在了你的脸上 It's like a constellation on your face.
哥们儿 好吗 Oh, what's up, dude? Yeah.
坐在那里的那个人 是个人渣 That guy over there, he's a douche bag.
好啊 各位 Hi, guys.
希望你们别介意 我邀请了昌老师 Hey, I hope you don't mind. I invited Senor Chang.
我们是奈飞[在线DVD租赁商]搭档 We're Netflix friends.
你蛮酷的嘛 和学生混在一起 Oh, that's cool that you're hanging out,
喝点啤酒 drinking beers with your students.
那是 很显然 我被放鸽子了才来的 Yeah. Clearly, none of my other plans fell through.
我们开始看吧 Let's get to the movie.
抱歉 雪瑞 Oh, I'm sorry, Shirley.
如果你想为我拿点饮料的话 我可以等 I'll wait if you want to serve beverages.
那你就一边儿凉快地慢慢等吧 You gonna be waiting a long-ass time.
天呐 联调局的警告 我好怕哦 Ooh, FBI warning... I'm so scared.
不公平 我不知道这就开始了 Hey, that's not fair. I didn't know we started.
公元2006年 It is the year 2006 AD,
一场核战 摧毁了整个地球 and nuclear war has ravaged the planet.
我咋连核战都错过了 I must have missed that.
说得好 Nice.
城市之间的荒芜地带成为了破烂帮 The wasteland between cities is a free-fire zone
毒贩以及恐怖分子所控制的无限制开火区 ruled by scavengers, drug dealers, and terrorists.
这不就是我家的感恩节嘛 Sounds like a thanksgiving at my house.
实在是太疯狂了 That's pretty crazy.
才思如泉涌 They just come to me.
你们要不要买上好的兴奋剂 You guys want to buy some mega dope?
会使你特别兴奋 It gets you mega high.
能让我兴奋地看完这部电影不 Will it get me through this movie?
雪瑞真是深藏不露啊 Shirley's in the house.
不许动 警察 Freeze! Police.
冰冻警察吗 别这样 Freeze police? Don't do that.
他们会感冒的 They'll get cold.
你为我们的城市付出了这么多 拳拳踢战警 You have done so much for our city, Kickpuncher,
有什么我们可以报答你的 is there anything that we can give you?
有 还给我逝去的那两个小时 Yeah, two hours of my life back.
不要叫我拳拳踢战警 Don't call me Kickpuncher.
请称呼我为 大卫 Call me David.
金·杨导演 "Directed by Kim Yang."
亚洲人 Asian...
不会导电影 不会开汽车 Can't direct, can't drive.
老家伙 我就坐在这儿呢 Dude, I'm right here.
坐在那儿 Right there.
所以呢 So...
很显然我们是一群能搞笑之人 Clearly we're all a bunch of funny people.
我们啥时候再一起看电影呢 When are we doing this again?
实际上我们明天还要聚在一起 Well, actually, tomorrow we were all gonna get together...
明晚我们会聚在一起看 Tomorrow night we're all gonna get together to watch
《拳拳踢战警2》 代号"踢踢拳战警" "Kickpuncher 2", codename Punchkicker.
今晚我只是热身 Well, I was just warming up tonight.
明天你们最好找好退路 Tomorrow you better foam the runways,
因为我会亮绝招 'cause I'm bringing my "A" game.
酷毙 Awesome.
留意了 就如陆上冲浪一样 Check it, just like surffing without water...
我的天啊 Oh, my god.
他给她弄了个嬉皮项圈戴着 He's got her in some kind of hippie collar.
在这里都可以听到她腋毛疯长的声音 I can hear her armpit hair growing from here.
我们必须做点什么 We got to do something.
就算我赞同你的说法 Okay, even if I agreed with you,
但我们又可以做些什么呢 what are we gonna do?
如果我们直接表示反对 Well, I know if we say we disapprove,
那只会让戴麻绳手镯的胳膊有机会把她抱得更实 we'll just drive her further into his hemp-braceleted arms.
我们必须要聪明点 得密谋个计策 We need to be smart. We need to hatch a scheme.
密谋什么的我并不擅长 Mm, hatching schemes is not really my wheelhouse.
不要把我们的行动局限在你的擅长上 Let's not confine ourselves to your wheelhouse.
这次的问题与你跳踢踏舞 This problem won't respond to tap dancing
或是在纽约浪费时间寻找自我不同 or casual revelations that you spent time in New York.
那好 如果你想把上东区[纽约富人区]搬出来 Okay, if you're gonna get all upper east side about this,
我想我们不可能合作 I think we're done.
翁格 看看安妮 Hey, Winger, check out Annie.
某人刚上了"我要上"名单第一名 Somebody just went to the top of my "to do" list.
没错 我们需要好好密谋一下 Okay, we need to hatch a scheme.
谢谢你 Thank you.
事情很简单 It's all very simple.
在沃恩闯入安妮世界以前的漫长岁月中 In Annie's world, long before Vaughn,
她的眼中只有特洛伊 she only had eyes for Troy.
所以如果有特洛伊可供选择的话 So if Troy becomes a real option,
安妮会在沃恩这个嬉皮心跳一瞬间就把他甩个彻底 Annie will drop Vaughn in a hippie's heartbeat.
暗中操控速成班 Crash course in manipulation...
不要赤裸裸地告诉人们 You don't actually tell the person
你想让他们干什么 what you want them to do.
你要让他们意识到是自己想要去做 You help them realize they want to do it,
这样秋后算账也算不到你头上 so it can't be traced back to you.
明白 Got it.
化学 令人着迷 Chemistry... sexy.
你知道还有什么令人着迷吗 You know what else is sexy?
安妮 Annie.
我知道化学令人着迷 I know chemistry is sexy.
至于安妮 不觉得 But Annie? I don't see it.
学院里的其他男生都这么觉得 Well, every other guy on campus does.
你真得没发现安妮有多漂亮吗 You really don't see how pretty Annie is?
也许是因为我高中时就认识她了吧 Maybe it's cause I knew her back in high school,
在她退学之前 before she dropped out.
印象中是个牙箍妹 粉刺妞 嗑药精 She had braces and acne and a pill addiction.
还有一次彻底神经失常 最后她跑过 And a nervous breakdown ending with her running
玻璃门 尖叫着"大家都是机器人" through a plate-glass door, screaming, "everyone's a robot!"
情况了解了 I see what's happening here.
特洛伊 清空你的脑袋 Troy, I want you to clear your head.
-搞定 -接下来我要向你描述一位陌生人 - Done. - I'm gonna describe to you a complete stranger
碰巧她是我们学习小组成员 who happens to be in our study group.
不介意我们说会儿悄悄话吧 Would you excuse us for a moment?
安妮吗 Annie?
别开玩笑 No kidding.
拜托 你说得太夸张了 Come on, you got to be exaggerating.
哦 我的天 Oh, man.
她是犹太人吗 And she's Jewish?
难以置信 我竟然没看出来 I can't believe I didn't see that.
我觉得可以再给她次机会 Well, I guess she deserves another shot.
等等 别想了 已经晚了 Oh, wait, never mind. It's too late.
我听说她和沃恩在一起了 I heard she's hooking up with Vaughn.
-只是为了让你嫉妒 -你说什么 - Only to make you jealous. - What?
她早就爱得你死去活来了 She's helplessly in love with you.
和沃恩在一起只是为了引起你的注意 She's only with Vaughn to get your attention.
你现在必须要给她注意了 对吧 杰夫 And you have to give it to her now, right, Jeff?
当然 Sure.
重点是 我们并没有告诉你要怎么去做 But the point is, we're not telling you what to do.
对 我们啥都没说 Oh, yeah, you didn't hear it from us.
这是感觉最怪异的一次"擎天一柱" I have the weirdest boner.
我亲眼看到你死了 你怎么可能还活着 I saw you die. How can you be alive?
我想 今天是毒品恐怖分子的倒霉日 I guess it's just a bad day for drug-dealing terrorists,
却是我踢踢拳战警的幸运日 and a good day for... Kickpuncher.
伙计们 你们听到了 All right, guys, you hear that pause
他说完"幸运日"后的停顿了吗 right after he says, "and a good day"?
有什么笑点 What do you got for me there?
是吃营养早餐的幸运日 And a good day for a nutritious breakfast.
完全没笑点 I don't get it.
是看烂片的幸运日 It's a good day for a terrible movie.
是用护发产品的幸运日 A good day for hair products.
哦 废话 Oh, buzz,
你要钻这条死胡同多少次才肯罢休啊 how many times can you keep going to that well?
拜托 伙计们 Come on, guys.
我开始怀疑你们配不配自称为 I'm starting to wonder if you even deserve to
社区大学喜剧小品艺术团 call yourselves a community college sketch comedy troupe.
我说过了 在看电影那晚 I told you, on movie night,
我要让那帮兔崽子笑得人仰马翻 I need to blow these punks out of the water.
我要菲利斯·迪勒水准的亮点[美国首位女性脱口秀笑星] I need Phyllis Diller-grade stuff.
你为啥不好好享受一下和朋友们看电影的 Wouldn't you rather just watch a movie with your friends
幸福时光呢 and have a good time?
你以为自己谁啊 我第三任老婆的心理医生 What are you, my third wife's therapist?
不如这样 他说"今天是...的幸运日" What if he said, "it's a good day for..."
你就插话说"做同志" 怎么样 and you said, "for being gay"?
你太有才了 You're a genius.
他喜欢同性恋笑话 He likes gay jokes.
你说什么 What?
我说我们创作了很棒的笑话 I said we write great jokes.
不要自夸了 Don't flatter yourselves.
安妮 是我 特洛伊 Annie. It's me, Troy.
我不知道阿布蒂在哪里 Oh, I don't know where Abed is.
如果你要找他 我给他打电话 I could try calling him if you want.
我没在找我那另一半 Nah, I'm not looking for my other half.
我找的是你 美女 I'm looking for you, girl.
是吗 Oh.
是的 Yeah.
好好回味一下你我之间的感觉 Let that sink in for a second.
我以前从来没有注意到... You know, I never noticed how...
原来你是如此的美丽 beautiful you are.
特洛伊 你今天好奇怪 Troy, you're being weird.
抱歉让你久等了 Sorry it took me so long.
他们逼着我去弄件T恤 They made me find a shirt.
沃恩 记得特洛伊吗 Vaughn, you remember Troy?
我们上的同一所高中 Um, we went to high school together,
现在是一个学习小组的 and he's in my study group.
好吗 咋样了 嗨 兄弟 Hey, what's up, man? Hi, bro.
我不是你的兄弟 兄弟 I'm not your bro... bro.
事实上 宇宙间的所有生物都是我的兄弟姐妹 Oh, actually, everyone is my bro in the whole entire universe,
因为事物之间总是相互联系的 you know, because everything's connected...
岩石 鹰 还有帽子 Rocks, eagles, hats.
但是有些东西之间的联系更加紧密 Yeah, well some things are more connected than others,
譬如 狼蛛和我尿裤子 like tarantulas and me peeing my pants...
-或者我和安妮 -什么 等等 - Or me and Annie. - What? Wait.
-特洛伊 你说什么 -告诉他吧 - Troy, what? - Tell him.
告诉他你从高中时就开始暗恋我 Tell him that you've been in love with me since high school.
什么 What?
等等 是真的吗 小山花 Wait a minute. Is that true, mountain flower?
没有 我是说 No. I mean...
我不想对你说谎 所以我要告诉你 I never want to lie to you, so I will tell you
我曾经对他有过感觉 但都是过去式了 I did have feelings for him, but it's over,
-我发誓 -你发誓吗 - I swear. - You're swearing?
就像当初布雷塔发誓说她不喜欢杰夫 Like Britta swore that she didn't like Jeff
转身却把我的诗作给了他 and then gave him a copy of my poems
让他和雪瑞·谢菲尔德[喜剧女星]一起来嘲笑我 so he could laugh at me with that Sherri Shepherd lady?
[实指本剧的雪瑞 第四集中曾与杰夫一起调侃沃恩的诗作]
悲剧重演 Oh, it's happening again.
你们这个学习小组简直就是邪教 Your study group is evil.
你不配享用这个冰淇淋 And you don't deserve ice cream.
他真是幼稚 Well, he's a baby.
我们刚刚说到哪里了 Now, where were we?
我喜欢他 你为什么要这么做 I like him. Why would you do that?
别装了 Come on.
你想一尝"特哥"牛排的鲜味又不是什么秘密 Everybody knows you want a cut of the t-bone steak.
杰夫和布雷塔把你的想法都告诉我了 Jeff and Britta told me how you feel.
等等 杰夫和布雷塔做了什么 Wait, Jeff and Britta did what, now?
你生气的时候更漂亮了 Oh, you're even hotter when you're angry.
来吧 Let's do this.
就像《红鞋日记》里那样[系列情色剧集] "Red Shoe Diaries"...
我想你知道我喜欢直接"上垒"得分 I think you know I have a thing for butt stuff.
庆祝安妮必将和恶心的麦康纳分手[常露两点入镜的男星] To Annie's inevitable breakup with grodie J. Mcconaughey.
敬她和特洛伊 And to her and Troy.
我们做的是对的 他们是天生一对儿 We did the right thing. They belong together.
另外 他们的孩子一定特别可爱 Plus, their babies will be so cute.
-为什么这么说 -拜托 - Why would you say that? - Come on.
如果父母那什么的话 宝宝就会特别可爱 You know that babies are extra cute when their parents are...
父母都可爱的话? Both cute?
-你想要孩子吗 -到时候看吧 - Do you want kids? - We'll see.
穿漂亮点 午饭后去找我 Put on something nice, and find me after lunch.
伙计们 谢谢你们干涉我的恋爱生活 Hey, guys, thanks for getting involved in my love life.
你们的行为太帅了 特显成熟魅力 That was super cool and mature of you.
对了 因为很显然你们都是白痴 Oh, and since you're both clearly idiots,
我应该说清楚 我说的是反话 I should probably let you know that I'm being sarcastic.
伙计们 多谢你们把我到手的煮熟的 Hey, guys, thanks for taking ugly Annie
丑小鸭安妮整没了 结果变成 out of the palm of my hand and turning her into
白天鹅飞了 再也飞不进我口里 yet another hottie that will never get with me!
伙计们 多谢你们吃完了所有的通心粉 Hey, guys, thanks for eating all the macaroni!
闭嘴 伦纳德 Shut up, Leonard.
没人知道你在说什么 Nobody even knows what you're talking about.
通心粉的确是我吃完的 I did eat all the macaroni.
糟糕的是他竟然知道了 It's messed up that he knows.
让我们热闹起来吧 Let's light this candle.
准备好欣赏拳打如脚踢了吗 Who's ready for some kickpunching?
实际上我们准备看《霹雳追魂弹》[84年科幻片] Actually, we decided to watch "Runaway" instead.
汤姆·谢立克[老牌明星]大战机械蜘蛛 Tom Selleck fights mechanical spiders.
什么 不行 你们不能这么做 What? No, no, you can't do that.
我们刚看了《拳拳踢战警》 必须接着看《拳拳踢战警2》 We just watched "Kickpuncher", we have to see "Kickpuncher 2".
我还有很多疑问没有得到解答呢 I have so many unanswered questions.
不 我要看汤姆·谢立克大战机械蜘蛛 No, I want to watch Tom Selleck fight mechanical spiders.
-是的 -我也要看 - Yes. - Me too.
我弟就是死在那个片场的 My brother died on the set of that movie.
其中的一只机械蜘蛛失去了控制 One of the mechanical spiders just went haywire
把他撕的粉碎 and tore him to pieces.
汤姆·谢立克就站在那里 Tom Selleck just stood there.
他就站在那里看着我弟弟的离去 He just stood there and... and watched him die.
好吧 我们就看《拳拳踢战警2》吧 Okay, then let... let's watch "Kickpuncher 2", then.
是的 就这样吧 Yeah. Okay.
-真遗憾 兄弟 -真遗憾 皮尔斯 - Sorry for your loss, man. - I'm sorry, Pierce.
太惨了 老兄 Yeah, that's messed up, dude.
《拳拳踢战警2》 "Kickpuncher 2".
当我出拳的力度只有出拳的力度时 My punches were only as strong as my punches,
形势开始变换莫测 and then things changed.
变换吗 是时候换台了 Change? Time to change the channel.
这家伙不祈求变换不行啊 This guy's gonna be begging for change,
他总是整个烂片给我们看 he keeps making movies this bad.
他们应该把电影变换成好点的东东 They should change this movie to something good.
这电影太烂了 This movie stinks.
我们最好给他换换尿布 We better change his diaper.
这才叫《我们相信变革》[奥巴马所著书名] That's "Change We Can Believe In".
很显然有些事不对劲儿了 Okay, obviously something strange is happening here.
你什么意思 What do you mean?
我只是在看电影时开些玩笑罢了 I'm making jokes during the movie.
但你却是以喜剧之王 Yeah, but you're doing it with the speed
罗宾·威廉姆斯式的速度及果断来开玩笑 and the determination of the incomparable Robin Williams.
-没错 -也许我本来就这么厉害呢 - Yeah. - Maybe I'm just that brilliant.
我觉得你有备而来 I think you came prepared.
伙计 就连我都知道你有多差劲 Dude, even I know you're lame,
而我只是个坐在豆袋椅上的终身制教授 and I'm a tenured professor sitting in a beanbag chair.
你不是教授 You're not a professor.
闭嘴 小子 Shut up, man.
行了 被你们发现了 Fine! You got me.
我的确做了些准备工作 这很可悲吗 I did a little advance work. Pathetic?
不 我来告诉你们什么叫做可悲 No, I'll tell you what's pathetic...
你们坐在这里对他人的作品冷嘲热讽 You all sitting there making fun of other people's work.
你们自我感觉差 You don't feel good about yourselves,
所以身边的一切也要被你们拉下水 so you have to tear down everything around you.
你到底有啥毛病 昌妈妈没有母乳喂养吗 What's the matter? Mama Chang didn't breast-feed?
她在一本书中看到奶瓶仔和母乳仔不会有区别 She read in a book that it wouldn't make a difference.
你们都让我觉得恶心 You all sicken me!
我不会再参加你们的这种 And I will no longer participate in
极具毁灭性消极性的活动了 your destructive, negative behavior.
皮尔斯 真是有深度的 废话[Bull Shit] Pierce, that was deep and total BS.
是的 这不是我们的问题 Yeah, this isn't about us.
你把矛头指向我们 只因你不能讲出有亮点的笑话 This is just a deflection because you can't get a genuine laugh.
你这话才是个笑话 That in itself is a laugh.
我知道我很有幽默感 I know I'm funny.
我不需要你们中任何人的认同 I don't need any of you people to validate me.
太同情你了 I'm sorry.
今晚最响亮的笑声 Biggest laugh of the night.
接着我本来要说"今天是做同性恋的幸运日" Then I was gonna say, "it's a good day to be gay".
安妮 Annie...
对不起 We're sorry.
我们只是关心你会不会幸福 We were worried about your well-being.
我们觉得大家像是一家人 I guess we feel like we're sort of all a family,
杰夫和我就像是你在格林德尔的父母 And Jeff and I are like your Greendale parents.
你可不是我妈 布雷塔 You're not my mom, Britta.
她从来不穿那么高筒的靴子 She would never wear boots that go up that high.
那些把我当作成年人及朋友一样尊重的鬼话又算什么 And what about respecting me as an adult and as a friend?
你想要被当作成年人及朋友般被尊重吗 Oh, you want to be treated as an adult and a friend?
那么就别和你朋友的前男友勾搭上 Try not dating your friend's ex-boyfriend.
-有本事别拣现成的 -哦 天呐 - Find your own man. - Oh, my.
但是你并不喜欢沃恩了 But you don't like Vaughn.
是的 我不喜欢 但是我不要的 No, I don't, but I also don't like seeing him
别人也不能拣 怎样! with anyone else. Ta-da!
我问过你是否介意 你说不介意 I asked you if you cared, and you said no.
直说吧 我介意 我是个很小气的女人 Fine. I cared. I'm a girlie-girl.
我喜欢男生 他们对我不好我就不爽 I like boys, and I don't like it when they're mean to me,
我讨厌他们弃我的香唇于不顾 and I don't like it when they stop kissing me
跑去亲我的姐们儿 and start kissing my friends.
我没那么洒脱 我不是朱诺[电影角色 送子领养的少女] I'm not that cool. I'm not Juno!
明白了吗 朋友 Okay, homeslice?
这就是你掺和进来的原因吗 This is what it was about for you?
因为嫉妒 You were jealous?
拜托 别告诉我 Oh, please, you can't tell me that
当沃恩那双嬉皮之手在你的辩论热吻搭档 you weren't jealous that Vaughn had his hippie hands
身上四处游走时 你不嫉妒 all over your debate/make-out partner.
你到底在暗示些什么 What are you insinuating?
我是为了学院的荣誉才吻的 I took that kiss for the team.
你说什么 What?
是的 那一吻不是为了欢愉 Yeah, that kiss wasn't for pleasure.
-绝对是战略兼不快乐 -你说什么 - It was strategic and joyless. - What?
-是的 -你向我描述安妮的身材时 - Yeah. - You did get weirdly specific
的确详尽的近乎于怪异 when you were describing Annie's body.
比你描述布雷塔时更详尽吗 More specific than the stuff you told me about Britta?
-什么 -有没有谁详尽描述过我 - What? - Does anyone get specific about me?
收一下电邮 Check your email.
我会把你的标记为垃圾邮件 I'll mark you as spam.
潘又是哪里冒出来的 Who the hell is Pam?
大伙儿刚抱团时 我们像是 When you guys first came in, we were
《脱线家族》里那健康和谐的家庭 as wholesome and healthy as the family in "The Brady Bunch".
而现在却好似这剧现实中的演员 And now we're as dysfunctional and incestuous
关系上乱来一通 as the cast of "The Brady Bunch".
我赞同阿布蒂的说法 现在这情形让人起鸡皮 I agree with Abed. This is getting creepy.
你评论杰夫穿包臀牛仔裤 才是鸡毛疙瘩掉一地 No more creepy than when Jeff wears tight jeans
"真想把那两块小圆面包放在我的炉上烤" and you say, "I'd like to slap those buns on the grill".
你说什么 What?
首先 我的语气不是这样的 First of all, I don't talk like that,
其次 在我的生活圈中 and second of all, where I'm from,
女性谈论男性友人的臀部 it's perfectly normal for women to
是非常正常的事情 talk about their male friends' backsides.
我有对阿布蒂和特洛伊的小暧昧说三道四 And you don't see me saying anything crazy about
让你鸡皮疙瘩掉一地吗 Abed and Troy's weird little relationship.
他们嫉妒我们关系铁 They're just jealous.
好了 也许我们不像一家人 All right, all right, maybe we're not a family.
也许是因为我们的情形更复杂 Maybe it's more complicated,
和真正一家人不同的是 because unlike a real family,
没什么可以阻止我们 there's nothing to stop any one of us
将小组内其他任意一位 视为性幻想的对象 from looking at any of the others as a sexual prospect.
我们为什么要谈论这个话题 Why are we even talking about this?
因为你开始上布雷塔前男友的床 Because you started having sex with Britta's ex-boyfriend.
你说什么 我们连吻都没接过 What? We haven't even kissed.
那并不意味着你们不会做爱 That doesn't mean you're not having sex.
沃恩说他会如我所愿的慢慢来 Vaughn told me he would take things as slowly as I wanted.
他喜欢的是真实的我 而我也喜欢他 He likes me for who I am, and I like him.
你们听到了吗 Do you guys hear that?
-安妮 -沃恩 - Annie. - Vaughn.
-布雷塔 -你好 - Britta. - Hi.
-老人河[百老汇经典歌剧] -滚远点 - Old man river. - Eat me.
-收到我发的短信了吗 -没有 - Did you get my messages? - No.
我把手机扔到河里了 I threw my phone into the river.
我寻思着如果不能和她在一起 I thought that, you know, if I can't be with her,
我还用打给谁呢 who am I gonna call?
然后我就想到 And then I thought, you know, well,
房东 我妹妹 还有你 my landlord, my sister, and... you.
言归正传 我扪心自问了很久 Anyway, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching,
有些话一定要对你说 and, uh, this is something I really need to say.
初见你 笑靥胜桃花 *I see you when you smile*
小生我 献歌东篱下 *And I want to sing a song*
落笔处 音符跃纸上 *But then I write the words*
惆怅间 却顿失方向 *And they always come out wrong*
却顿失方向 *They come out wrong*
情浓时 举手投足皆是爱 *I feel it in my fingers, I feel it in my toes*
吉它音 胜过千言与万语 *But then the words get frozen in my mouth like Eskimos*
爱你秀美娇俏鼻 *I like your nose*
安妮 *Annie...*
谨以此曲献安妮 *Annie's song*
他的歌比他的人更傻 His songs are dumber than he is.
是的 但是却很真诚 Yeah, but they're honest.
我会在这儿等你 I'll be right here.
沃恩想带我去看像南瓜的云朵 Vaughn wants to show me a cloud that looks like a pumpkin...
可以吗 If that's okay?
安妮 不仅仅是可以 Annie, it's more than okay.
请你和沃恩约会吧 Please date Vaughn.
只要是这个怪异小团体外的人 约哪个都行 Or anyone else outside this creepy circle.
如果你们很怪异的话 我是不会和你们抱团儿的 I wouldn't hang out with you guys if you were creepy.
相信我 我眼光很不错的 Trust me. I have good taste.
我要搞清楚 你们中任何一个我都没戏吗 So just to be clear, I don't have a shot with any of you?
我晕了 我晕了 I'm dizzy, I'm dizzy.
我是踢踢拳战警 I am Kickpuncher.
我的机械拳威力等同于连环夺命踢 My cyber punch have the power of kicks.
我是拳拳踢战警 I am Punchkicker.
棋逢对手了 Meet your match.
踢踢拳战警 我爱你 I love you, Kickpuncher.
我的拳头唯一无法掌控的就是人性 The only thing beyond the reach of my fists is humanity.
你确定布雷塔不能演你这个角色吗 You're sure Britta couldn't do your part?
我问过了 她没空 I asked her. She wasn't available.
咱去把床戏了结了吧 Let's go film the sex scene.