早啊 各位 Good morning, everybody.
-早 -早啊 杰夫 - Hey. - Hi, Jeff.
我带了百吉饼来 I brought bagels.
我要来一个 Oh, I'd love a bagel.
作为我第一节桌球课的完美前奏 Be a perfect beginning for my first day of billiards class.
你特意买了身新行头 Oh, did you pick a special outfit
来伪装成性感桌球王子吗 so you can look sexy shooting pool?
雪瑞 你瞎说什么呢 Shirley, I have no idea what you are talkin' about.
不吉利 13.
这下好了 "粑吉饼"泡汤了 Ah, great, so much for "baggels".
什么泡汤了 So much for what?
粑吉饼 都被你搞到地上了 The baggels. You dropped them on the floor.
这叫百吉饼 Uh, they're called bagels.
特洛伊 我可是正宗纽约客 Uh, I lived in New York, Troy.
我知道什么是粑吉饼 I know what a baggel is.
你有啥毛病吗 What the hell is wrong with you?
什么呀 What?
你把百吉饼都叫错了 You say bagel wrong.
我明明和你们说的一样 I say it the same as you.
那你再说一遍 Say it again.
粑吉饼 Baggel.
我们还是接着学习好了 Look, can we just keep studying?
现在看第二百五十八页 We're on page 258.
第几"亚"来着 What "padge" was that?
第二百五"是"页 Two "five-ty" eight.
来瞧瞧这个 Check this out.
是阿布蒂的画像 Oh, it's a drawing of Abed with...
周围布满了爱心 hearts all around it.
严格来说 特洛伊 Strictly speaking, Troy,
这种越界的友情会遭天谴的 the Bible condemns this level of friendship.
不是我画的 I didn't draw that.
我买的二手书 I bought that book used.
肯定是它的上一任主人画的 It must have been whoever had it last.
显然是一个暗恋阿布蒂的姑娘画的 Obviously, it's a girl who has a crush on Abed.
好纯情 This is so romantic.
[04年佳片 诠释了爱情的美好与真谛]
就像是《恋恋笔记本》 It's just like the "Notebook", except,
这女生肯定没老年痴呆症[电影情节] 而是 instead of alzheimer's, Abed has--
阿布蒂有了追求者 someone who likes him.
不管她是谁 肯定是个肥婆 Well, whoever she is, she's fat.
猪蹄子才能画出这么强劲的线条 These thick pencil lines are drawn with a heavy hand.
我们得替阿布蒂找到她 We gotta find this person for Abed.
万一是男的 我们就要代表上帝消灭他 Unless it's a boy, then we have to find him for Jesus.
不管怎样 我们都有的玩儿了 But, either way, this is going to be fun.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.net
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翻译：爱米粒 樱桃饺饺 夕橙 独醉 时间轴：独醉
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校对：独醉 后期：鱼骨头 总监：独醉
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《废柴联盟》 第一季 第十七集
再见 Adios.
伙计们 Guys!
下课啦 Class is over.
我说的是你们可以撤啦 I'm trying to get you to leave.
-这样 -挺好 - Oh. - Oh...cool.
捡起来 Pick that up.
昌老师 Senor Chang?
我们想知道 We're trying to figure out
特洛伊的二手课本原本属于谁 whose Spanish book this was before Troy's.
天灵灵地灵灵 太上老君快显灵
珍妮·亚当斯 Jenny Adams.
好强大 Oh.
太假了 Oh, come on.
要是中国人都这么神通广大 If all Chinese were psychic, you would have started
几百年前你们就会搞计划生育了 using birth control centuries ago.
扉页上写了名字 脑残们 Her name's in the front of the book, morons.
果然有 Yay! He's right.
他们脑残也就算了 你怎么也被传染了 Them, I understand, but how did you not think of that?
可能是布雷塔 I may have been thrown off
念百吉饼的发音把我搞懵了 by Britta's pronunciation of the word "bagel."
-你怎么念百吉饼的 -不要 - How do you pronounce bagel? - I don't.
-乖 -粑吉饼 - Come on. - Baggel.
你是最脑残的 Ugh! You're the worst.
好了 So...
我们搞到名字了 We have a name.
珍妮·亚当斯 Jenny Adams.
挺好 Cool.
这名字一听就是个肥婆 See? It's a fat girl's name.
可能就像"肉汤怪味汽水"[广告词为"火鸡认证" 暗指肥胖] Might as well be "Gravy Jones".
皮尔斯 她的外表并不重要 Pierce, it doesn't matter what she looks like.
这对阿布蒂来说是件大好事 This will be great for Abed.
是吗 It will?
要去和她搭讪了你不激动吗 Aren't you excited about talking to her?
-我可没打算去搭讪 -什么 - I wasn't planning on it. - What?
伙计们 得了 你们也听到阿布蒂说的了 Guys, come on. You heard Abed.
他对这没兴趣 你们就散了吧 He's not interested. Drop it.
杰夫 你还是管好自己吧 Jeff, you need to mind your own business.
阿布蒂 你得立刻去跟这姑娘搭讪 And, Abed, you need to get with this girl immediately,
-越快越好 -是吗 - if not sooner. - Yeah?
阿布蒂 你这种档次的人 Abed, for guys like you,
这种机会出现的概率简直是 this kind of opportunity only comes around
千载 逢很多次 Once in a li-- while.
谈恋爱是大学的必修课 阿布蒂 It's important to date in college, Abed.
这是无拘无束兼大开眼界的阶段 It's a time of freedom and exploration,
在这一阶段 纯情姑娘间的枕头大战 a time when a simple pillow fight between two innocent girls
可能会转变为床第间的放纵缠绵 could turn into a steamy night of unbridled lust.
这方面布雷塔是专家 Britta knows all about it.
好吧 Okay, cool.
你们会对我进行《爱情无价》式改造吗[87年电影] So you guys are gonna "Can't buy me love" me, right?
什么改造 We're gonna what you?
电影《爱情无价》式改造 You're gonna "Can't buy me love" me.
草根变英雄 呆哥变帅哥 You know, transform me from zero to hero, geek to chic.
他想学《爱情非卖品》那样麻雀变凤凰 Oh, he wants us to "Love don't cost a thing" him.
[03年电影 《爱情无价》的黑人演员翻拍版]
明白了 Oh.
《爱情无价》是为了迎合白人观众而翻拍的[说反了] "Can't buy me love" was the remake for white audiences.
最烦他们翻拍了 That's so uncomfortable when they do that.
不明白他们怎么没有被侮辱的感觉 I can't believe it doesn't insult them.
大家听好 All right,
这里没有人要爱情大改造 nobody here is "Can't buy me love"-ing
或是麻雀变凤凰 or "Love don't cost a thing"-ing anyone.
[ABC台的电视电影系列 反映青少年课堂外的生活]
《校门外的世界》看得够多了 Because we've all seen enough "Afterschool specials"...
《胖子阿伯特》总看过吧 "Fat Albert"...
[04年电影 少女在卡通人物帮助下融入团体]
阿布蒂还是做回自己最好 to know that Abed only needs to be himself.
还好这里没有老人家 Sure glad there are no old people here.
这段对话肯定会让他们费解的 This conversation would probably be total gibberish to them.
杰夫这次破天荒地说对了 Jeff's unprecedentedly right about this.
阿布蒂 一旦我们找到这个姑娘 Abed, when we find this girl,
去搭讪的你就是本来的你 you're gonna approach her just the way you are,
而本来的你就是个棒小伙儿 because that's good enough.
是啊 你可以带她去个精致的小吃店 Yeah, and then you can take her to a nice deli
请她吃个粑吉饼 and treat her to a baggel.
打的不错 出杆干净利索 Hey, nice shooting. Good clean strokes.
-谢谢 -请站一排 - Thanks. - Form a line, please!
我是伯格纳教练 My name is Coach Bogner.
欢迎来到桌球艺术的课堂 Welcome to the art of pool,
这是体育课 which is a phys. ed. class.
所以 Which means...
你们得一直穿着适宜的服装 that you all have to wear the proper equipment at all times!
赶紧穿好 So suit up.
五分钟之后集合 See you back on the felt in five.
你穿上这个肯定一副白痴样儿 You're gonna look like an ass in those.
闭嘴 伦纳德 Shut up, Leonard.
我在家庭日上和你儿子聊了聊 I talked to your son on family day.
我可知道你赌博的事儿 I know all about your gambling.
一针见血啊 Touche.
好了 大家就这么待着 随意点 All right, everybody just hang out and be casual.
我得到内幕消息说珍妮·亚当斯 My sources tell me that Jenny Adams
就是坐在那边看书的金发女 is the blonde who's reading right over there.
哇 就是她吗 Whoa! That's her?
长得真俊呐 She's pretty!
完全是意料中的事 阿布蒂 Wh-which is not a surprise at all, Abed.
阿布蒂 我们会在这边给你精神支持 Okay, Abed, we're gonna be here for moral support.
-放胆上去做你该做的就行 -好 - Just go over there and do your thing. - Okay.
-记住 展现真我 -了解 - Remember, be yourself. - Got it.
-不错 -好 - Great. - Cool.
-阿布蒂 -啥事 - Abed... - Yeah?
-你干嘛呢 -展现真我 - What are you doing? - I'm being myself.
到珍妮身边展现去 Go be yourself by Jenny.
但是"真我"压根不会过去 But I wouldn't go over there.
你怎么知道呢 How do you know that?
主要基于我这辈子的观察 A lifetime of observation, mostly.
那你觉得非"真我"版的你 Well, do you think there's a version of yourself
可能会过去吗 that might go over there?
那当然 Absolutely.
能当那一版的你吗 Could you be him?
好吧 Okay.
刚刚搞什么鬼 What the hell was that?
另一版的我啊 A different version of me.
我觉得是个吸血鬼 I think it was a vampire.
好了 如果结局是你失败的话 All right, if this is gonna turn ugly,
我是看不下去的 我自己也糗过无数次 I can't be here-- I'm a two-striker.
别走 皮尔斯 求你了 No, Pierce, please.
再等会儿 Hang on.
-阿布蒂 能让我们说会儿话吗 -没问题 - Abed, will you excuse us, please? - Yeah.
听着 我知道大家都是好人 Look, I know that we're all good people,
好人都认为人们应该展现真我 and good people believe that people should be themselves.
但阿布蒂这么做的话 就注定孤独终老了 But if Abed is himself, he's gonna die alone.
如果让他在没我们帮忙的情况下假装别人 And if we let him be someone else without our help--
马上回来 Be right back.
我撤了 I'm out of here.
你怎么没穿运动裤 You're not in uniform.
说到这个 Yeah, about that.
我们真要穿运动短裤才能打桌球吗 We seriously have to wear shorts to play pool?
想在这班上混下去 就要遵守规章制度 If you play in this class, it's regulation.
桌球课的规章 还是你的制度 Regulation pool or regulation you?
穿这个打桌球可以做全方位动作 Do you have something against playing pool
并且面料舒适 你还有啥比这更好的 with a full range of motion and optimal comfort?
穿我自己的衣服就更好 I'm comfortable in my own clothes.
-看出来了 -什么意思 - I bet you are. - I'm sorry?
我说 看出来了 你喜欢 I said, I bet you're comfortable
穿得像个走猫步的 而不是打球的 dressed like a model instead of an athlete,
抽烟喝酒耍帅 而不是球桌上显风采 sippin' martinis and smokin' instead of keeping your game on the table!
你给我听着 Hey, listen, man.
你在暗示我是个落魄走台的 You're implying I'm some sort of pool poser
就因为我不肯穿这破泳裤吗 because I don't want to wear a bathing suit.
有病的是你 You're the weird one.
这也叫有病 That's weird.
不是我 Not me.
没人穿成那样玩桌球的 Nobody plays pool like that.
是吗 那你对此有何看法 Yeah, well, what do you call this?
我认为那是你个人的另类癖好 I call that your personal business, okay?
而且我认为这个课 And I call this class
是对美国最酷体育运动的亵渎 the desecration of America's coolest sport.
听到了 就这句 最酷体育运动 Yeah, ah, see? Right there. Ah! "Coolest sport"!
我要让每个人都知道现在怎么回事 Okay, I want everybody to know what's going on here.
这位"犀利哥"要退课 This hipster is dropping this class.
因为比起在球桌上的表现 Because he cares more about what he looks like
-他更在乎穿什么去打球 -少来了 - than how he's playing. - Oh, please.
你才是规定课上穿什么衣服的人 You're the one with the rules about clothes.
告诉你 我可以在这张球桌上把你打得落花流水 And, by the way, I could kick your ass all over that table.
你是要向我挑战吗 Oh, is that a challenge?
真的吗 如果你要跟我比赛 Huh? Because if you play me in pool,
就得穿着短裤比 You play me in shorts!
而如果你做不到 And if you can't do that,
我对你的评语就没错 Well, my point's already made.
我 我不需要向你证明什么 I-I-I don't have anything to prove to you.
你不可理喻 You're stupid.
这不可理喻 This is stupid!
穿着短裤打桌球太不可理喻了 Pool in shorts is stupid!
虚荣啊 你的名字叫做 Vanity, thy name is...
他的名字 His name.
第一天上课我没记住名字 It's the first day. I didn't catch it.
好的 阿布蒂 Okay, Abed.
我们知道你平常不会主动接近女孩子 We know that, normally, you wouldn't approach a girl.
但是你现在不学 就追不到珍妮了 But if you don't learn how, you won't get Jenny.
没错 你只有两天的时间 Yeah, and you got two days.
-然后我就要去泡她 -皮尔斯 - Then I'm going after her. - Oh! Pierce.
怎么啦 激将法 What? I'm incentivizing him.
再说了 如果她连阿布蒂都喜欢 Also, if she's into Abed, let's face it,
差不多是个男人都有机会啦 anybody could hit that.
我明白了 我需要变成一个更可爱的人 I understand--I need to change who I am to someone more likable.
不不不 亲爱的 这跟改变无关 No, no, no, no, sweetie, it's not about changing.
这是学习 It's about learning.
学习去改变吗 Learning to change?
-不 不 这是关于 -可悲啊 - No, no, it's... - Good grief!
头发长见识短的通通闪一边 Clear the chickens off the runway.
黑脸我来唱 I'll be the bad guy.
没错 阿布蒂 你要变成另外一个人 Yes, Abed, you need to be someone else.
变成一个最终能搞到女朋友的人 Someone who eventually gets a girlfriend.
因为没有什么比一个波兰-阿拉伯混血男 Because I can't think of anything more frightening
到了30岁还是处男更恐怖的事情了 than a half-Polish, half-Arab virgin in his 30s.
无论如何 One way or the other,
此事必须以你的破处作为结束 that story ends with an explosion.
咱们先练习一下吧 Let's try a practice run.
安妮 你坐在这里好吗 All right, Annie, you sit here, okay?
扮演一个女孩 And be a girl.
阿布蒂 你走向她 Abed, you take a run at her.
咱们看看你表现如何 Let's see what you got.
好的 Okay.
你在看什么 What are you reading?
《傲慢与偏见》 "Pride and Prejudice".
那么你对这两项原罪都很熟悉啊 So you're familiar with two sins.
你对第三个原罪怎么看[暗指性] How about a third?
这里不允许吸烟哦 I don't think we're allowed to smoke in here.
那说明你来错地方了 Then you picked the wrong outfit.
不是吗 Didn't you?
阿布蒂 你在干吗 Abed, what are you doing?
《广告狂人》中的唐·德雷柏[花心男] 你们怎么看 Don Draper from "Mad Men". What'd you think?
-怪怪的 -帅呆了 - Weird. - Awesome.
把你的舌头伸到她耳朵里 Put your tongue in her ear.
-我喜欢 -别变成他 - I liked it. - Don't be him.
他背着他老婆出轨 He cheats on his wife.
变成个好人 比如说麦克·布兰迪[《脱线家族》中角色] Be somebody nice, like Mike Brady.
女佣总对他投怀送抱 He always had that housekeeper throwing herself at him,
但是他从来都是坐怀不乱 and he never made a move on her.
别变成麦克·布兰迪 他一点也不性感 Don't be Mike Brady. Mike Brady's not sexy.
你应该变成《美好人生》中的乔安 You should be like Jo from "Facts of Life".
[讲述几名青春期少女成长故事的系列剧集]
但是 你知道的 男版的 But, you know, the dude version.
我明白了 I knew it.
你应该变成卡尔文[漫画《卡尔文与霍布斯》中的小男孩] You should be like Calvin.
他最好的朋友是只老虎 His best friend was a tiger.
他总是傻不拉叽地去冒险 He always went on dope adventures.
要是有谁敢拦他 他就尿到别人身上 If anything stood in his way, he just peed on it.
卡尔文· 柯立兹吗[美国第30任总统] Calvin Coolidge?
不行 很显明唐·德雷柏才是最性感的人 No, you guys, Don Draper was clearly the sexiest.
你们在干什么呢 What are you guys doing?
他们在教我怎么变成另外一个人 They're teaching me how to be someone else.
老天啊 我是怎么跟你们说的 Oh, for god's sake. What did I tell you guys?
老天啊 你们大家 该干嘛就干嘛去 Oh, for god's sakes, everybody, do whatever you want!
别多管闲事 Leave each other alone!
哇塞 真像杰夫 怎么做到的 Whoa! That's a good Jeff. How'd you do that?
10%的迪克·范·戴克 20%的山姆·马龙 10% Dick Van Dyke, 20% Sam Malone,
[前者为老牌明星 后者为经典喜剧《干杯酒吧》中的角色]
40%《实习医生风云》中的扎克·布拉夫 40% Zach Braff from "Scrubs",
还有30%《男孩不哭》中的希拉里·斯万克[奥斯卡影后] and 30% Hilary Swank in "Boys Don't Cry".
-扎克·布拉夫[剧中傻傻的] -抱歉 - Zach Braff? - Sorry.
阿布蒂 不如你变成杰夫去泡珍妮吧 Abed, what if you just did Jeff for Jenny?
你的重点是什么 Uh, and your point is?
听着 我不会趟这滩浑水 Look, I don't want any part of this.
而且我不敢相信 你们如此执迷不悟 And I can't believe that you're still doing it
我已经把其中利害关系 after I already explained the obvious lessons,
讲的清清楚楚明明白白 smacking you in the face.
对了 你怎么没去上桌球课 Hey, why aren't you in billiards class?
因为我穿上裤头一点也不酷 Because I don't look cool in shorts!
好吧 Whoa. okay.
因为我穿上裤头一点也不酷 'Cause I'm not cool in shorts!
-真像他 -演的真好 - Just like him. - That was really good.
我不想透露此书结局 但是 I don't want to spoil the ending, but, uh...
傲慢是以偏见告终的 Pride ends up with prejudice.
有意思 That's funny.
我知道 跟着我 你会乐趣多多 I know. Stick with me, and you'll get a laugh or two.
这是阿布蒂的保证 That's the Abed guarantee.
我觉得以前见过你 I feel like I've seen you before.
-这法子好使 -我知道 - It's working. - I know.
这话我听多了 艺术系的学生常说 I get that a lot, from art students.
他们告诉我 我有张天生上画作的脸 I'm told I have a face made for sketching.
我倒是觉得这是天生用来接吻的脸 I'd rather think it was made for kissing.
你生来就是张欠扁的脸 How 'bout for punching?
你居然有胆泡我女友 丑八怪 What are you doing hitting on my girlfriend, ugly?
太囧了 This is awkward.
我的老天爷啊 Oh, my god.
那是个白人版的阿布蒂 It's a white Abed.
他他他 他像阿布蒂 但却是正版那个 I-I-I--it's like Abed, but employable.
来吧 哥们儿 Let's do this, huh, boss?
出去单挑 黄皮穷鬼 Let's go, slumdog.
最后一则失物招领 And one last lost and found announcement,
杰夫·翁格 伯格纳教练告诉我 Jeff Winger, I've been informed by Coach Bogner
你的小裤头落在了他的桌球教室 that you left your panties in his pool class.
最好去取回 So better pick those up.
有完没完 When is he gonna stop doing that?
知道不 那教练管我叫"犀利哥" Do you know that he called me a hipster?
"犀利哥" 犀利哥能穿着意大利进口的 Hipster! I mean, do hipsters walk around
价值300美金的牛仔裤来回晃悠吗 wearing $300 jeans from Italy?
我们还是谈阿布蒂的问题吧 Can we please talk about Abed?
因为我们瞎搅和 他的心碎成千万片了 Thanks to us, his heart's been broken.
我不想说 "我警告过你们了" Well, I hate to say that I told you so.
我要用大喇叭喊 So I'll shout it through cupped hands,
我警告过你们了 I told you so!
我们只是想帮忙而已 We were only trying to help.
省省吧 别自欺欺人了 Oh, come on. Who are we kidding?
杰夫是对的 阿布蒂原本做自己做得很开心 Jeff's right-- Abed was happy being Abed,
直到我们污染了他的心灵 凶器就是爱情 till we had to sully his mind with thoughts of love
浪漫 还有"天生一个仙人洞" and romance...and vaginas.
这是男人头上三把刀 都这么说的 Those are the big three. That's what they call them.
可怜的阿布蒂 今早可能伤心到起不了床 Poor Abed, he's probably too sad to get out of bed this morning.
-大家好 -阿布蒂 - Hi. - Abed.
-昨天的事儿 -是的 - About yesterday... - Oh, yeah.
你们肯定伤透了心 You guys must be pretty upset.
为什么伤透心的是我们 Why would we be upset?
我明白我能有个女友 对你们来说有多重要 Well, I know how important it was for you that I get a girlfriend.
所以当珍妮随白人版阿布蒂离开时 So when Jenny went off with white Abed,
对你们的打击一定很大 it must have really hurt.
-打击太大了 -白人版阿布蒂 - Ah, it did. - White Abed?
珍妮的男友 好似阿布蒂的孪生白人兄弟 Jenny's boyfriend is a white guy that's almost identical to Abed.
叫乔伊 特洛伊的二手书上画的是他 Name is Joey, and that's why the sketch was in Troy's book.
这样阿布蒂岂不是"咖啡色乔伊" So does that make Abed "Brown Joey"?
你非要加个种族标签吗 If you want to get racist about it.
阿布蒂 你知道我们只是希望你开心 Abed, you know we just want you to be happy, right?
知道啊 人人都希望我开心 Yeah, I know. Everybody wants me to be happy.
人人都希望帮助我 Everybody wants to help me.
但一般情况下 大家发现无法帮助我时 But usually, when they find out they can't,
便会无比沮丧 不理我了 they get frustrated and stop talking to me.
或者骗我买冰淇淋给他们 Or they trick me into buying them ice cream
然后把我推进干衣机里 and then shove me into a clothes dryer.
我不希望这幕在你们身上重演 Which I didn't want to happen with you guys,
所以我要让你们确信可以帮助我 so I wanted to make sure that you felt like you can help me.
事实上 大把女生喜欢我 The truth is, lots of girls like me,
承认吧 我非常讨人喜欢 because, let's face it, I'm pretty adorable.
冷漠及没心没肺的我 是恋父情结女生的杀手 And my aloofness unconsciously reminds them of their fathers, so...
我习惯女生主动勾搭我 I'm more used to them approaching me.
这么说我们没有伤你的自尊 So we didn't damage your self-esteem or anything?
布雷塔 我的自尊多到可以拉出来 Britta, I got self-esteem falling out of my butt.
这就是我愿意为你们而改变的原因 That's why I was willing to change for you guys.
因为当你了解真我 以真我为傲时 Because when you really know who you are and what you like about yourself,
为他人改变只是芝麻绿豆的小事 changing for other people isn't such a big deal.
阿布蒂 Abed...
你绝对是神 You're a god.
各位 失陪了 If you'll all excuse me...
我要穿上裤头 在球桌上好好教训某人 I have a man to beat in pool while wearing shorts.
太帅了 Nice.
这是上小号的暗号 还是上大号的 Is that code for going number one or number two?
阿布蒂 你也让我茅塞顿开 Abed, you've inspired me too.
大家想笑我就笑吧 People can mock me all they want.
我不在乎 我就是要说"粑吉饼" I don't care how I say the word "baggel."
粑吉饼 "baggel."
她说的是粑吉饼 She said "baggel."
-还要再来一个吗 -粑吉饼 - Would you like another one? - "baggel."
漂亮的对角球 伦纳德 Hey, nice cross corner, Leonard.
那是 Totally.
我倒想见识一下杰夫·翁格 I'd like to see Jeff Winger try that shot
没有"龙袍"加身 能不能打出这杆 without the benefit of his stylish clothing.
真想见识吗 Oh, would you?
杰夫·翁格 Jeff Winger.
你咋不在"城市霓裳"逛着呢[汇集名牌服饰的连锁店] Shouldn't you be at a "Urban Outfitters"?
如果我想去 稍后会去 I'll go there later, if I feel like it.
不过首先 我必须将某人 But first, I have to hand someone
那紧紧被包在涤纶面料里的屁屁 their tightly polyester-swaddled ass
在球桌上踢个开花 in a game of pool.
好拽 Burn.
现在 你是要像个娘们儿一样地聊聊着装 Now, do you want to talk about clothes like a girl?
还是像个爷们儿一样 拿着锥形球杆 Or use tapered sticks to hit balls
游走于四边都有软垫的球桌 around a cushioned table... like a man?
球 爷们儿 Balls, like a man.
桌球大战 Rack 'em!
我来开球 I'll break.
为什么 显得你酷吗 Why? 'Cause it looks cool?
我不知道 I don't know.
你来告诉我答案吧 You tell me.
好狗不挡道 Get out of the way.
我来把这边的球桌擦干净 好吧 Yeah, let me just clean this side of the table off here, all right?
就这样擦 看见没 就是这样 Okay, there you go. See that? There you go.
您老对于这样擦有没有意见 Oh, yeah. yeah. What do you think of that?
看到没 你还是那个只想耍帅的混蛋 See, you haven't learned anything!
唯一区别就是现在穿着短裤打球耍帅 Except how to look cool playing pool in shorts!
你错了 老人家 You're wrong, man.
我只是在享受欢乐时光 因为我爱打桌球 I'm just having a good time because I love playin' pool.
谎话精 Liar!
-你觉得自己很酷 -没错 - You think you look cool. - Yeah?
这个酷不酷 Well, how cool is this?
别把你对着装的痴迷推到我身上 以此作为 Stop projecting your obsession with clothes onto me
在真刀真枪的球桌上 你输得落花流水的借口 as an excuse for when I beat you in a game of real pool!
你要来真刀真枪吗 Oh, you wanna play real pool, huh?
老子就跟你真刀真枪 I'll play real pool.
-现在谁才是真不在乎着装 -我 - Now who doesn't care how they look? - Me!
-你不是应该去阻止吗 -马上 马上 - Shouldn't you be stopping this? - Soon, soon.
先收集一下证据 Just...gathering evidence.
翁格 一赔三 谁押 Three to one against Winger. Who's on?
-太棒了 -老天爷 - Yes! - Oh, god!
听着 杰夫 You know what, Jeff?
胜者只有一位 One of us is about to win this game.
多年后 今日之战会广为流传 But years from now, when the story's retold,
世人将铭记于心的是 all they're gonna remember
一位是喜好华服的登徒子 is one of us loved clothes.
一位是热爱比赛的真英雄 And the other loved... the game.
看着我 看着我 Look at me. Look at me!
胜者为王败者寇 You beat me.
由这一刻起 你打桌球时 锦衣华服随你穿 From now on, you play pool dressed however you choose.
我要穿运动短裤 I choose shorts.
我要穿运动短裤 I choose shorts!
运动短裤 Shorts!
你这个小崽子 You son of a bitch.
你这个了不起的小崽子 You magnificent son of a bitch!
-太帅了 -让我贴近些 - That was awesome. - Let me get in here.
你汗津津的 没关系 Oh! Okay, you're sweaty. All right, all right.
很精彩的比赛 Nice game.
谢谢 Thanks.
我希望这样说不会太唐突 但是 Look, I-I hope this doesn't sound too... forward, but, um...
可以把我介绍给你的朋友吗 Could you introduce me to your friend?
不必了 我了解他的行事方式 You know what? I-I know that guy's m.o.,
你自我介绍的效果会更好 And I think it's better if you introduce yourself.
好吧 Okay.
-你好 -你好 - Hi. - Hi.
-我是科特妮 -我是阿布蒂 - Courtney. - Abed.
老天 为什么我不是咖啡色乔伊 Man...why couldn't I be brown Joey?
-你好 阿布蒂 -你好 特洛伊 - Hey, Abed. - Hey, Troy.
借的西语课本还你 Here's the Spanish book I borrowed.
谢谢 你终于弄到属于自己的课本了吗 Thank you. Did you finally get your own book?
差不多吧 Something like that.
等等 Wait a second.
没事儿 来吃块饼干吧 It's okay. Let's have cookies.
好的 okay.
我堂兄的葬礼就在今天 My cousin's funeral is today.
是今天吗 Oh, is that-- that was today?
我就知道今天不宜玩儿这个 I knew there was some reason I couldn't do this today!
可怜的德米特里 Poor Dmitri.