我今天为了赶公车起了个大早 I had to get up so early for my bus,
"家庭院线"的午夜场都被我赶上个结尾 I caught the tail end of what Cinemax gets up to at night.
我把"家庭院线"取消了 Subscription canceled.
我花钱是要看艾迪·墨菲的电影[喜剧黑人明星] I got that channel for Eddie Murphy movies,
不是为了暴力色情片 not stimulation.
等等 你为什么要坐公交车 Wait, why are you taking the bus?
你的车呢 What happened to your minivan?
我前夫要用 My ex-husband needed it.
他约会的对象在一家俱乐部上班 The person he's dating works at a club.
离市区有一小时的车程 An hour from the city.
要不我去给他们拉上一曲小提琴 Ah, well, I'll play a violin for them,
也许她可以踩着音乐大跳脱衣舞 and maybe she can strip to it.
做好人不能有选择性 布雷塔 Kind people are always kind, Britta,
要随时随地当雷锋 Not just when it's easy.
当我们又一次站在 As we stand once again upon the deadline
选课或退课的生死线上 to drop or add classes,
我现在宣布这学期杰夫·翁格推荐之选 I hereby present this semester's Jeff Winger pick
终极减压课 for ultimate blow-off class:
初级陶艺 Beginner pottery.
这可说不准 你上一个减压课 I don't know-- your last "Blow-off" Class
结果变成了"活在当下"实践课 ended up teaching me to live in the moment,
简直是我人生一大败笔 which I will always regret and never do again.
这个可不一样 我调查过了 This one's different. I researched.
你根本就不用去做个好陶器出来 You don't even have to make a good pot.
只要积极参与就会得个艺术学分 You get an art credit for participation.
这堂课就像是爱喝威士忌 This class is like a redhead that drinks scotch
[红发女郎一般被认为比较开放随意]
爱看《虎胆龙威》的红发女郎 and loves "Die Hard".
我建议你们都挑这个容易上的上 I suggest you all get her number.
猜猜我申请了哪门课 Guess which class I signed up for.
与坦妮尔飙歌[70年代歌手] Singing with Tennille?
航海课 Sailing.
但离咱最近的水域也要两个半钟头的车程 But the nearest body of water is 2 1/2 hours away.
海里 阿布蒂 Leagues, Abed.
水上距离不用小时来计算 We don't measure water by hours.
你会在一条真船上通过 It's a one-week intensive
一周的强化训练得到实践经验 that gives you hands-on experience on a real boat
船就在这儿的停车场里 right here in the parking lot.
比起陶艺我更喜欢这个 I'd rather learn boats than pots.
我本来准备选另一门课的 如何写好 I was going to take a class on how to put together
网上交友的个人简介 an online dating profile,
但我想在停车场开船 会显得没那么"饥渴" but I think sailing in the parking lot is less pathetic.
黑人开帆船 A black person on a sailboat?
我得看看去 我加入 I gotta see this. I'm in.
你呢 阿布蒂 想跟我们一起航海吗 How 'bout you, Abed? Wanna sail with us?
这里都是黑人哦 There's black people.
有两个哦 Mm-hmm, there's two.
不错 All right.
女士们好 你们在做什么呢 Hello, ladies. What are you guys making,
大球吗 big balls here?
你们都把自己弄得脏兮兮的 Oh, yeah. You guys getting dirty?
你在看什么 What are you looking at?
很好 Heh, all right.
你好 罗兰·英格斯[美国女作家] Hey, Laura Ingalls.
家得宝男[大型连锁家具建材店] Home Depot guy.
谁要做罐子啊 Who's making pots?
让我们一起参与进来吧 Let's participate this thing.
女士们 我不知道你们干嘛要笑 Ladies, I don't know why you're laughing.
但是我真的想给我妈做个烟灰缸 I really do want to make my mom an ashtray.
大家好 我珍爱的小蓝莓们 Hello, my precious blueberries.
大家好 Hello.
好的 让我们转动轮子开始玩吧 All right, let's spin those wheels and play.
玩泥巴 With some clay.
这门课有且只有一条规矩 Now there's one, and only one, rule in this class.
我不容许任何人 I will tolerate no reenacting,
不管是出于恶搞还是真心 whether it's ironic or sincere,
重演帕特里克·斯威兹和黛米·摩尔 of the Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore
在《人鬼情未了》中的那场做陶器的戏 pottery scene in "Ghost".
自从那电影于1990年上映以来 Ever since that movie was released in 1990,
我见识了各种所能想到的版本 I have seen every conceivable variation
我把他们叫做"见鬼情未了" of what I call "Ghosting."
有的是男抱女 也有女抱男 This could be guy-on-girl, girl-on-guy...
还有令人捧腹的男抱男 The hilarious guy-on-guy.
所以 鉴于这种事持续发生 So, since it never stopped,
我不得不对此采取杀无赦的政策 I had to adopt a zero ghost tolerance policy.
如果你胆敢 哪怕只哼出"正义兄弟" If you so much as hum three notes
那首歌的前三个音节[《人鬼情未了》插曲] from that Righteous Brothers song,
我向天起誓 我会宰了你 with god is my witness, I will come at you.
凶器不限 With everything I've got.
明白了吗 Okay?
让我们玩个痛快吧 Let's have a great time!
我在做炸豆丸子 I'm making falafel.
不过不能吃 Not edible.
你在做什么 What are you making?
花瓶啊 A vase.
-伙计们 -啥 - Hey, guys. - Yep?
看看我做的 Look what I made.
参与者徽章 Participant badge.
上帝啊 Oh, god.
我不知道怎么回事 I don't know how.
我是说 我只是 I mean, I just--
我把手插进陶土里 I stuck my hands into the clay
然后就成这个样子了 and it happened.
看着我 You look at me.
你很有天赋 You have a gift.
杰夫以前也曾表现出其好胜的一面 Jeff's competitive side had come out before.
他甚至曾经妒火中烧 He had even displayed envy.
但是在陶艺课的第一天 他发现 But on that first day of pottery class, he discovered--
-阿布蒂 -在 - Abed. - Yeah.
-咱们怎么说的 -不许旁白 对不起 - What did we discuss? - No voiceover. Sorry.
这是我的精神寄托 It is kind of a crutch.
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翻译：夕橙 小面 坎离 樱桃饺饺 时间轴：独醉
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校对：爱米粒 独醉 后期：鱼骨头 总监：独醉
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《废柴联盟》 第一季 第十九集
我以前从来没上过船 I've never been on a boat before.
我不知道该穿什么来 I didn't know what to wear.
是啊 它让我们望而生畏 Yeah, it's intimidating.
咱们现在到了皮尔斯的地盘了 We're in Pierce's world now.
他穿着全套的航海服 He's got all the boat clothes.
看看他的首航掷瓶仪式 Look at him christen.
[首航时在船头将香槟酒击碎意为祝航行平安]
如果是我 那瓶子早就破了 That were me, I would have broken the bottle.
我是斯劳特教授 I'm Professor Slaughter.
欢迎登上迷幻号 Welcome aboard the S.S. Nose candy,
这是最近通过政府拍卖购得的 recently purchased through government auction.
挺好的 Oh, that's nice.
一点也不好 这是你对抗 It's not nice-- it's your only weapon
汹涌波涛的唯一武器 against the raging sea.
要是你不知道怎么使唤她 你必死无疑 You don't know how to use her, you're dead.
你们是一队船员 要同心协力 Together, you will work as one crew.
要荣辱与共 共同进退 You will succeed or fail as one crew.
你们要将这个停车场想象成大海 You will consider this parking lot the ocean.
什么东西掉下船 就算是没了 Whatever you drop, you lose.
航行出错 就会船倾人亡 Mishandle the sails-- you capsize and die.
现在 这位挺好小姐叫什么名字 Now, does little Miss Nice have a name?
雪 雪瑞·伯纳德 Sh-Shirley Bennett.
好的 现在你是雪瑞·伯纳德船长 Well, now you're Captain Shirley Bennett.
搞什么 Aw, man!
你要遵从她每一项命令 You will follow her every order.
-我以前从没当过船长 -我当过 - I've never been a captain before. - I have.
我指挥着一辆水上摩托艇穿过了一场雷雨 I commanded a jet ski through an electrical storm
而且只有一人遇难 and only had one casualty.
水上摩托艇只能坐两人 Jet skis only hold two people.
没错 我救了一半的船员 Exactly. Saved half the crew.
陶艺课比我想得酷多了 Pottery's much cooler than I thought.
也难多了 And harder!
对了 除了那个叫里奇的家伙 Well, except for that guy Rich.
-他就像出了娘胎就会做陶了 -是啊 - He's, like, a natural. - Yeah,
我很担心这件事对杰夫产生了影响 I'm worried about the effect that it's having on Jeff, though.
某人咨询了心理医生啊 扯什么呢 Someone call a shrink. What?
你一直是最能干最厉害的人 Well, you're usually the cool one.
阿布蒂 你知道减压课的意义 Abed... you understand the point
就在于放松心情 缓解压力吧 of a blow-off class is to blow it off,
而不是逞能 做什么泥巴饼 not to be cool, making really important mud pies.
你不愿承认他的天分吗 You're not willing to admit he's talented?
不 因为他不是天才 No, because he's not.
我是说 如果我在那门课上努努力 I mean, if I were ever to make an effort in that class,
你们也会觉得我不同凡响 you'd think I was the cat's pajamas too.
不同凡响 你说的是我吧 Cat's pajamas? Okay, Pierce.
瞧瞧 某人被他老妈夸多了哦 Wow, somebody's mommy gave him too much praise.
某人也被心理学老师夸的自以为是了吧 Man, so did someone's psyche teacher.
没错 我在基督教青年会又被劫了 Yes, I was robbed at the YMCA... again.
好了 All right.
开始吧 Let's do this.
杰夫 你知道你是什么样的人吗 Jeff, do you know what you are?
你不平凡 You're special.
你很不平凡 杰夫 You're very special, Jeff.
你是世界上最不平凡的小男孩 You're the most special little boy in the world.
启程回港 Take her back to harbor!
控帆索准备 调整前帆 Flank the sheets and, uh, trim the head sail.
-收到 -收到 - Aye-aye. - Aye-aye.
大家都停一下 看着我 Eyes on me for a moment.
在这里 我没有看到学生 I don't see students here.
看到的都是海员 而且这不是我的幻觉 I see seamen. And I didn't create them.
从你们上船那一刻起 From the moment you climbed aboard,
我就看到你们海员的一面 I saw seamen inside you.
更重要的是 More importantly,
你们已经不拿"海员"这词取乐了[英文中与精液同音] you've stopped giggling at the word "seamen",
这是成为真正海员的标志 and that's the mark of a real seaman.
好了 你们继续 All right, as you were.
好的 接下来 Okay, then.
船员们 快速转动吊杆千斤索 Crew, make fast the topping lift.
我来收绳子 I'll get the rope.
老天 Oh, my god!
见鬼 简直就是船帆上的恶灵骑士 Damn, he's ghost riding the jib.
皮尔斯 坚持住 Pierce, hang on!
那帽子掉海里找不回来了 That hat's gone. Lost at sea.
也许我可以够到它 I might be able to reach it!
它落到那辆"现代"上了 It landed on that Hyundai.
我意思是 那是美人鱼的车 I mean, mermaid's car.
-快把他拉回来 -别 别 别啊 - Get back on this boat! - No, no, no.
真是经不起夸啊 全体都得D Well, I spoke too soon. Everybody gets a "D."
如果刚才考核的背景是在暴风雨中 If I'd have chosen to hit you with a storm just then,
你们早就全军覆没了 you all would have failed.
船长 你最好管好你的船员 You better get your crew in line, captain.
请求批准发言 Permission to speak?
这事真的是你搞砸的 船长 You really screwed the pooch on that one, Captain.
我不会游泳 And I can't swim.
看见没 女士们 So you see, ladies,
事实上 这个喷泉有用的 it's actually a working fountain...
上面还落了只鸟 with a bird.
杰夫 准备好做些花瓶状的艺术品了吗 Hey, Jeff, ready to make some art in the shape of a vase?
-没 做不了了 -让我帮你看看 - No, I can't. - Let me take a look.
拜托 里奇 Uh, come on, Rich.
在初级陶艺课上大放光彩 并不意味着你能给人看病 Being good at beginner pottery doesn't mean you can heal people.
确实没错 That's true.
但是我有医学学位 我是医生 But my medical degree does. I'm a doctor.
-医生 -就是做做陶器放松一下 - A doctor? - I just take pottery to unwind.
连续五年零事故的纪录 Haven't lost a patient in five years
会给医生不少压力 puts a lot of pressure on a person.
好消息 你的手指既没扭伤也没骨折 So the good news is this is neither sprained nor broken.
谢天谢地 Oh, thank god.
但我得去问问编篮课上的什么人 But I'll have to get a second opinion from a guy
听听他的诊断结果又是什么 in my basket weaving class.
不错啊 有意思 That's great. That's funny.
看到你跟里奇和谐相处真好 Good to see you getting along with Rich.
他人怎么样 What's he like?
-他是个枪手 -什么 - He's a ringer. - A what?
就是一个骗子 下套的 You know, a conman, a grifter.
枪手 A ringer.
他是个陶艺老手 却报名陶艺初学班 He's an expert potter who signs up for novice classes
就是为了博眼球 to impress people.
但他如果真想博眼球的话 But if he wants to impress people,
为什么要报陶艺班 why join a pottery class?
不如直接说 "大家好 我是医生" Why not just say, "hi, I'm a doctor."
因为他是个疯子 Because he's crazy.
还有 好工作并不一定能博取注意力 And fancy jobs don't impress people.
比如说 我是律师并不能吸引你 I mean, you weren't impressed I'm a lawyer.
谁都可以当律师啊 Well, anyone could be a lawyer.
你可以给自己辩护 You can even represent yourself.
却不能给自己做手术 You can't do surgery on yourself.
这是违法的 会被捕的 It's illegal. You'd get arrested.
但接着就会免费得到一个律师 And then you'd get a free lawyer.
里奇刚给我演示了怎么把瓶口做成喇叭状 Rich just showed me how to make a flared lip on my pot
还有怎么检查乳房肿块 and check for breast lumps.
我不知道会以什么方式 I don't know how
也不知道会在什么时候 and I don't know when,
但总有一天 那小子会露出马脚的 but one day, that guy is gonna slip up.
一旦狐狸尾巴露出来了 And when that happens,
我一定会一脚踩住 I am gonna be there to expose him.
杰夫 看这边 Jeff, check it out.
如果你的手指还妨碍你 If your finger's still bugging you,
可以来点创新 just get creative.
-我要吻上你的唇 -你说什么 - I wanna kiss you on the mouth. - I'm sorry.
里奇 等等 Hey, Rich. Hey!
别跑这么快 Don't run so fast.
这里没有坏人 You're among friends.
你好 杰夫 什么事 How you doing, Jeff? What's up?
没啥 没沙 Oh, not much. Nada mucho.
木 傻 Noddily...Merchant.
我就是想谢谢你帮我看手指 I just wanted to thank you, doc pottery-wood,
"陶木"大夫 for taking a look at my finger.
不客气 Anytime.
"陶木"大夫 这名字我喜欢 Doc pottery-wood. I like it.
你以前上过陶艺课吗 Yeah. Have you taken many pottery classes?
没 这是第一次上 No, this is my first.
-今年第一次? -平生第一次 - Of the year? - ever.
-医生的学堂里没有陶艺课吗 -医学院? -No pottery at doctor's school? - Medical school?
-陶学院 -陶学院? - Pottery school. - Pottery school?
陶学院呀 上了多久 Oh, pottery school, how long?
杰夫 这样挺诡异的 You know, Jeff, it's kind of weird.
我有种被审讯的感觉 I feel like I'm being interrogated,
审问的还净是些无关紧要的八卦问题 but by someone who doesn't really want to know anything important.
新墨西哥州来的 Oh, hey...New Mexico.
离这儿很远啊 Long way from home.
是啊 我曾在圣达菲做过实习住院医生 Yeah, well, I did my residency in Santa Fe.
圣达菲[新墨西哥州首府] Santa Fe?
是的 需要我载你一程吗 Yeah. Can I give you a lift somewhere?
不用了 谢谢 Oh...no, thanks.
我离目的地很近了 I'm gettin' there.
当然 没错 他是念过大学 Well, of course, yes, he'd be in college.
-你昨晚睡在这里吗 -只睡了几个小时 - Did you sleep here? - Only for a few hours.
猜猜里奇来自哪儿 Guess where Rich is from.
肯定不是"疯狂小镇" 否则跟你这疯子一起上高中了 Couldn't have been "Crazy Town". You'd have gone to high school together.
新墨西哥州的圣达菲 Santa Fe, New Mexico.
那地儿出来的没有不会制陶的 Nobody gets out of Santa Fe without learning how to make a pot.
该城人口有45%是拉丁裔 45% hispanic,
美国人口中第五大种族 fifth highest native American population.
他们是吃陶土长大的 They eat and breathe clay there.
你这个什么调查怕是在维基[网络百科全书]上挖的吧 I think some of this research may have been done on Wikipedia.
你在挖苦我吗 You're mocking me?
就凭你 别怕 You? No, no.
来来来 尽管挖苦我好了 Fine, fine, fine. Go ahead--mock me.
-杰夫 你改姓高布伦了吗 -我改姓高布伦 - Oh, Jeff... you're Goldbluming. - I'm Goldbluming?
[杰夫·高布伦 主演过多部科幻大片 对神经质的刻画尤为传神]
我 我 我不懂你说的是啥意思[高布伦的经典台词] I-I-I don't know what that means.
听好了 上课前我有正事要做 Look, I have work to do, before class,
我要在里奇露出狐狸尾巴时一脚踩住 because I want to catch Rich when he slips up.
谁在乎他是不是在装菜鸟呢 Who even cares if he's pretending to be a beginner?
不朽的制陶业在乎 正直与诚信不容亵渎 Pottery cares. Integrity cares.
我可不在乎 Look, I don't care.
我只在乎他在乎些什么 I just care that he cares.
他在乎的那些都见不得人 It's lame that he cares.
我的鞋带松了 Yeah, yeah, yeah. My shoelace came untied.
谁的鞋带没松过啊 It could happen to anybody.
这就是你的借口 That's your excuse?
布雷塔一副单薄的小体格 特洛伊是旱鸭子 Britta weighs five pounds, Troy can't swim,
而我连海长啥样儿都不知道 and I've never even seen the ocean.
-别门缝里看人 我会水 -听好了 皮尔斯 -Uh, I can swim, racist. - You listen to me, Pierce.
我要以全体船员这个大局为重 On my boat, the crew comes first.
丢卒保车的事儿我一定做的出 No single person is above it.
你要么打醒精神 要么趁早滚蛋 You either shape up or ship the hell out.
现在我可算知道"船长"一词有何深意了 Now I know what the "C" in "Captain" stands for.
-见风使舵 -雪瑞 你不是说过 - Crabapple. -Shirley, I thought you said
"做好人不能有选择性" that kind people were always kind.
是 但强者会见机行事 Yes, and strong people change.
如果大海总是风平浪静 又有谁会对大海心怀敬畏 If the sea was always still and calm, nobody would respect her.
我如大海一般变化莫测 I'm like the sea.
喳喳鸟们 有点眼力劲儿好吧 Cuckoo birds, do you mind?
我这儿干正事儿呢 This is important.
大学是大多数精神疾病的温床 College is where most mental health problems are activated.
我倒希望我有多重人格 I hope I get multiple personalities.
这样淋浴再长 我都不会寂寞难耐了 I get lonely in long showers.
气压下降 气温变暖 Barometer's dropping. Temperature's warm.
我们正顶着高压气流航行 We're heading into a high pressure flow.
这暴风雨来头不小啊 That's a perfect storm.
收主帆和三角帆 Reef the mainsail and furl the jib!
这说的是航海术语还是都市俗语 Is that nautical talk or urban speak?
-我们得返航 -三角帆突然失控 - We have to turn back. - Accidental jib!
趴在甲板上 Hit the deck!
有船员落水了 Man overboard!
天哪 皮尔斯死了 Oh, my God, Pierce is dead!
不 等等 肚皮依然起伏中 No, wait. His stomach is moving.
天哪 皮尔斯 接住 Oh, my God. Pierce! Gah!
这就好 Ohh! That's it.
拉我上去 Pull me in!
-暴风雨在吞噬你 船长 -我们没时间了 - The storm is overtaking you, Captain. - We don't have time.
吃奶的劲儿我都用上了 可我这个四分卫瘦骨如柴 I'm trying as hard as I can. I have skinny arms for a quarterback.
我说了 我们没有时间了 I said we don't have time.
啥 别 等等 What? No. Wha--wait.
拉我上去 你说没什么时间了 Pull me in. What do you mean "time"?
我 完了 I--that's it.
什... 别 别 Wha-- No! Nooo!
-把帆桁拉到船中间来 -不要啊 - Bring the boom amidship. - Nooo!
我们真是造孽啊 What in god's name have we done?
蠢货 从我的停车位上滚开 Get out of my parking spot, dip-wad!
保安呢 Security!
明明会两下子就别在菜鸟堆里混啊 I mean, take an intermediate class if you're intermediate.
别因为怕露怯就来这儿给我们添堵啊 Don't come in here making your fear of failure our problem.
这太荒谬了 I mean, it's crazy.
真荒谬啊 It's crazy.
这人简直不可理喻 I mean, he's a crazy person.
-我好怕怕 -没事 这对他来说是好事 - I'm scared. - It's okay. This is good for him.
他正在直面他自身的局限性 He's confronting his own limitations.
穿帮 Busted!
奇奇同学 你犯了个致命错误 Fatal mistake, Richy boy.
-狐狸尾巴被我踩到了 -是吗 - You...are...busted. - I am?
你刚才用了拍瓷法 You just used the throwing off the hump method.
这是高级制陶技巧 That's an advanced pottery technique,
我了如指掌 因为昨晚 which I know, because last night,
我通读了制陶百科大全 I read the entire encyclopedia of pottery.
你在说什么呢 What are you talking about?
别装菜了 You are no beginner...
圣达菲老鸟 Santa Fe.
蓝莓果们 怎么了 Hey, what is going on, my blueberries?
让他见识下你刚才的高超技艺 Show him what you did.
-不 -无需多言[律师常用语] - No. - I rest my case.
-什么多言 -给老子拍瓷 你这江湖骗子 - What case? - Throw the freakin' hump, imposter!
别 你在做什...[《人鬼情未了》经典镜头] No! What are you...
这就是令人捧腹的男抱男版本 It's the hilarious guy-on-guy.
我就向你们提了一个要求 就一个 One rule I asked you to follow. One.
睁大你的狗眼 Look!
[图为《人鬼情未了》男主角扮演者帕特里克·斯威兹 09年去世]
他去世前这照片就挂上了 我并无意冒犯他本人 I had it made before he died. It's not in bad taste.
-出去 翁格 -好 -Out, Winger! - Fine.
好的很 好的很 That's fine. No, that's fine.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
轻而易举地就把这门课挂了 You failed a class so easy
而别人不费吹灰之力就能挣到学分 that people pass it in the hallway get a contact credit!
哦 *Oh*
我的爱 *My love*
我的爱人[《人鬼情未了》插曲] *My darlin'*
你这个杂... You son of a--
我渴望你的爱抚 *I've hungered for your touch*
不要啊 No! Nooo!
这是精神鞭笞 This is abuse!
-闭嘴 这是魔鬼之音 -你是否依然属于我 - This is abuse! Stop it! That is a satanic sound! - *Are you still mine?*
皮尔斯 之前你怀疑罗斯·佩罗[IT精英 大富豪]睡了你妈 Pierce, do you still have the number of that private investigator
你找的那个私家侦探的电话还留着吗 you used when you thought Ross Perot was sleeping with your mom?
是要整整你陶艺课上的那家伙吗 Is this about that guy in your pottery class?
-对 -面对现实吧 杰夫 - Yeah. - Face the facts, Jeffrey.
那孩子拥有某些你所不具备的天赋 This kid's got some natural talent you just don't have.
你怎么知道的 How would you know?
-学院里早传开了 -真是坏事传千里 - It's all over the school. - Great.
你怎么没去上帆船课 Why aren't you in sailing class?
他们任我淹死了 Uh, they drowned me.
-为什么 -想得高分呗 - Why? - For a better grade.
杰夫 我们不是在讨论你的问题吗 Look, weren't we discussing your flaws, Jeff?
干嘛要让这家伙搅乱你的心情 I mean, why are you letting this guy get to you so much?
到底发生了什么事 What's really going on?
我做的陶器很烂 I made a bad pot.
因为某种原因 我一直觉得自己很特别 For some reason, I always thought that I was special
与众不同 and different.
我觉得让我难受的就是 And I guess I just have a really hard time
当我想做好一件事的时候 when I want to be good at something,
却不得要领 and I suck.
拉我一把 Here, give me a hand.
-你干嘛呢 -我要重回航海课 - What are you doing? - I'm going back to my sailing class.
在他们谋害了你之后吗 After they murdered you?
杰夫瑞 我出生的时候 Jeffrey, when I was born,
脐带绕在了脖子上 I got my umbilical cord wrapped around my neck,
还绕上了两条胳膊和一只脚踝 both arms, and one of my ankles.
我妈说有那么一会儿 Mom said that there came a point
医生都不接生了 when the doctors stopped delivering me
开始大笑起来 and just started laughing.
我是说 我要是因为不擅长就却步 I mean, if I ever let being bad at something stop me,
那我都不会在这世上了 I wouldn't even be here.
有的人管这叫失败 That thing some men call failure,
我称之为生存 I call living.
早餐 Breakfast.
不把食物扫光 我是不会走的 And I'm not leaving till I've cleaned out the buffet.
现在 你来推我一把 Now, how 'bout a shove?
好运 皮尔斯 Good luck, Pierce.
从不需要 从没有过 Don't need it. Never had it.
布雷塔 把吊杆调平 Britta, trim the boom flat.
特洛伊 迎风向调整 Troy, sit windward to heal the boat.
天哪 大海总算棋逢对手了 My, the sea has a worthy opponent.
老天爷 皮尔斯来了 Oh, my god. It's Pierce.
那家伙的一生就是一大笑话 Man, that guy's life is one, big joke.
我挺为他感到可惜 I mean, I feel bad for him,
不过自从他淹死之后 我们的确顺利许多 but things have been running smoother since he drowned.
我赌他一直知道自己是坏汤的老鼠屎 I bet he gets that all the time.
他奶奶... 啊 Son of a... uhh.
-我的天 -船要沉了 - Oh, my god. - Hey! I'm going down!
皮尔斯将是有史以来第一个 Pierce is going to be the only person ever
在停车场被淹死的人 to drown in a parking lot.
两次呢 Twice.
-救命 -不理该死的暴风雨了 - Help! - Damn the storm!
我们去营救皮尔斯 We're going after Pierce.
把帆拉满 Jump the halyard.
星霸 你下去 Star-burns, you get down there
发动引擎 and you man the iron jenny.
海上有一名落难者 There's a man overboard!
-这是命令 -我要沉了 - That's an order! - I'm gonna sink!
我就快拿到人生中绝无仅有的A了 I am about to get the only "A" I will ever get,
再说皮尔斯又不会真的挂掉 and Pierce isn't even dying.
-排水中 -你不需要这样的 - Bailing! - You don't have to do this.
我知道 I know.
但我宁愿做个好人 But I'd rather be kind
时不时地挺身而出 and get stepped on every once in a while
也不要铁着心肠 抛弃朋友 than be a hard-ass and turn my back on a friend.
-扬起主帆 -紧急呼救 - Hoist the mains. - S.O.S.!
哔哔 救命啊 Beep beep! Help!
我不要就这样死掉 I don't wanna go this way.
-我们就来 皮尔斯 -救命 - We're coming, Pierce! - Help!
-情况如何 -得再开快点儿 - How's it looking? - We gotta go faster!
好 星霸 加把劲 Okay, come on, Star-burns!
水已经淹满船了 It's filling with water!
-船要沉了 -皮尔斯 我们来了 - It's going down! - Pierce, we're coming!
上帝啊 神仙啊 Dear god. Dear god.
噢 布雷塔 Oh, yeah. Oh, Britta.
特洛伊 Troy. Ohh.
快上来 Here you go.
-抓住你了 快上来 -好 - We got you. Here you go. - Okay.
-你还好吗 -没事吧 - You okay? - You all right?
你把船驶进了暴风雨中 You just steered your boat into a storm.
有遗言吗 Any last words?
大海可能冷酷无情 The sea may be cold and unforgiving,
但我有情 but I'm not.
船是可能沉 但是 The ship might go down, but, uh...
至少是载誉而沉 at least she'll go down with honor.
我要收回你的船长帽 I'll take your captain's hat.
因为我要提拔你做海军上将 'Cause I'm promoting you to admiral.
你们都能拿A You all get an "A".
海军上将雪瑞 我喜欢 Admiral Shirley. I like that.
说实话 还真没什么意义 Well, it means nothing, really.
这课结束了 The class is over.
但这是你应得的 But you deserve it.
得有人来段这个 Hey, somebody has to to this.
我是世界之王[电影《泰坦尼克号》经典台词] I'm king of the wo--
别毁了完美的一周 Don't ruin a perfect week.
我不会再从后面给你来个熊抱了 I'm--I'm not gonna spoon you again.
-非常感谢 -我不能 - I appreciate that. - Yeah, I can't...
完全解释我的行为 fully explain my behavior.
我要归因于酒精作祟 I mean, I'd love to blame boozer
-或者撞邪了 -听着 - or demon possession, but-- - You know what?
你根本不用担心 Don't even worry about it.
我不会记仇的 I'm bad at holding grudges.
我不会做陶艺 Well, I'm bad at pottery.
我是一名业余陶艺爱好者 I'm an amateur pottery enthusiast
努力地尝试着 trying as hard as I can
尽管我很烂 at something I suck at.
但感觉棒极了 It's great.
老师说我可以留下来 And the teacher said I can stay,
条件是不能再来一幕"见鬼情未了" if I don't have any more "Ghost" bursts.
真不错 Fantastic.
-祝你好运 -从不需要 - Well, good luck. - Don't need it.
杰夫 你是一个普通人 Jeff, you're a normal person.
你根本没什么特别的 There's nothing very special about you at all.
有一些事你会做的很好 You're going to be great at a few things,
但会有更多的做不好 but really crappy at many more.
这样你就少了很多压力 And that takes a lot of the pressure off,
然后就能经历完满幸福的一生 so you can live a full, happy life.
抱歉事隔如此之久才告诉你 Oh, and sorry it took me so long to tell you that.
还是在你的想像中 And it was only in your imagination.
是我不好 My bad.
我是个糊涂的老妈 Kind of a sloppy mom.
没事 妈 That's okay, mom.
人无完人 Nobody's perfect.
我还是怕怕的 I'm still scared.
一个陶制烟灰缸 A clay ashtray.
你真白痴 You're an idiot.
你怎么有时间做陶艺 Why do you have time to make pottery?
就不能安分当你的医生吗 Couldn't you use a little more practice being a doctor?
就算这样你的哥哥也回不来了 Not that it'll ever bring your brother back to life.
那个过山车上坐的应该是你 理查德 It was supposed to be you on that roller coaster, Richard.
死的应该是你 It was supposed to be you!
不会吧 又来 Oh, come on. Again?