估计我的精神药理学要挂了 I think I'm failing psychopharmacology.
谁让你选那门课 Why are you taking that?
我以为这门课讲的是 I thought it was a class
农场动物疯狂总动员呢 about crazy farm animals, okay?
继续学习这个单元吧 Let's finish the unit.
我可不想错过午饭 I don't want to be late for lunch.
"Amar"的意思是"爱慕" 对吗 "Amar" is "To love," right?
说到爱慕 Oh! Speaking of love,
雪瑞 跟那位满头小辫的帅哥进展如何 Shirley, how's it going with the sexy dreadlock guy?
我看肯定是没戏了 Oh, I'm sure I don't have a chance with him.
我和阿布蒂在自动贩卖机旁跟他聊过 Abed and I talked to him by the vending machines.
他问起你了 He asked about you.
他专门问起我了吗 He specifically asked about me?
当时安妮提起你 他专门问道 When Annie brought you up, he specifically asked,
-她是谁 -阿布蒂 -"Who is that?" - Abed.
怎么了 他就是这么说的 What? That's what he said.
阿布蒂 你社交能力还是没炼到"远界"水平 Abed, your social skills aren't exactly streets ahead.
你懂我的意思没 You know what I mean?
-不懂 -我也不懂 - I don't. - You're not alone in this case.
皮尔斯 别在那儿尝试杜撰词语了 Pierce, stop trying to coin the phrase,
-什么乱七八糟的 -尝试? - "Streets ahead." - Trying?
杜撰铸就成功 Coined and minted.
有种你也来一句 Been there, coined that.
"远界"会在潮语中形成燎原之势 "Streets ahead" is verbal wildfire.
意思是"很酷"呢 Does it just mean "Cool," or is it
还是只是说"遥遥领先" supposed to be, like, "Miles ahead"?
你问这问题 说明你是"中间界" If you have to ask, you're "streets fine".
要继续瞎扯淡的话随便你们 Okay, we can banter if we want to banter,
不过我可先申明 我要提前去吃午饭 but I'm warning you I am leaving for lunch early.
-我也是 -还有我 - Me too. - Me three.
还有远界大师我 Streets ahead.
你们就这么喜欢吃那垃圾鸡柳吗 Man, you guys really love these stupid chicken fingers, huh?
那可不是垃圾 Uh, they're not stupid.
那是餐厅里唯一能下咽的东西 They're the only good thing in the cafeteria.
我好几个星期没吃上了 太容易脱销了 I haven't had one in weeks. They run out so fast.
要是上帝也能吃的话 声明我不信天主 If god were edible-- not that I'm catholic,
要是我能吃掉上帝的话 but if it was cool to eat God,
他最好是盘炸鸡柳 he'd be a chicken finger.
我不用烦心这事 Well, I wouldn't know.
我是素食主义者 I'm a vegetarian.
-看不出来啊 -是啊 - Shocker. - Yeah.
要是你们知道 你每天的食物 And if you guys knew how they treated
生前有着何样的遭遇 the animals that you are eating,
你们肯定会更加飞速地吃了它们 you would eat them even faster
好让它们早死早超生 just to put them out of their misery.
然后就会狂吐不止 And then you would throw up.
我也不知道 I don't know.
可能是因为我的小猫咪生病了 Maybe I'm feeling extra protective
我今天格外地有保护动物的欲望 of animals today because my cat is sick.
-猫咪病了吗 -太可怜了 - Oh, a cat? - That's awful.
它得了糖尿病 He has diabetes.
连走到便便沙盆的力气都没有了 He can't even make it to the litter box--
小鸡快跑啊 Chicken run!
恐怕只能哄着它睡了 I'm afraid that I'm gonna have to put her to sleep.
算了 去吧 Ah, go on.
上帝保佑你 God bless you.
给我留一点 Save some for me!
小心 Watch out!
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翻译：爱米粒 大卫熊 yank121 坎离 独醉 时间轴：独醉
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校对：独醉 后期：鱼骨头 总监：独醉
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《废柴联盟》 第一季 第二十一集
我都能听到鸡柳召唤我的声音了 Oh, I can hear those fingers calling my name.
特洛伊 特洛伊 "Troy! Troy!"
特洛伊 你收到我的短信了吗 Troy, did you get my text message?
好像是 I think it's--
看来以后得少跟她混在一起了 I got to stop hanging out with her.
她的声音听着像是鸡柳 She sounds like a chicken finger.
-又没了 -太过分了 - Again? - Outrageous.
至少要道个歉吧 At least apologize.
你怎么好意思像个哑巴脑残一样站在那 How can you just stand there like a mute idiot?
做了喉部手术 我就原谅你了 Well, throat surgery might humanize you,
可这事绝对不可原谅 but it doesn't make this acceptable.
真帅 So cute.
而且我一般是不喜欢满头辫子男的 And I don't even normally like dreadlocks.
你好 Hello.
他的发型看着像是捕食者 His dreadlocks remind me of the predator,
这很有意思 因为你才是进攻方 which is weird, because you're doing the actual hunting
你完全被无视了 and you seem invisible to him.
-阿布蒂 你知道我是怎么做的吗 -啥 - Abed, you know what I do? - Hmm?
张嘴之前 先问问自己 Before I talk, I ask myself,
我即将说出来的话 "What am I about to say
会对听者带来怎样的感受 and how might it affect each person listening?"
真高兴你这么说 布雷塔 I'm really glad you said that, Britta.
你这样强迫症似的自律 The idea that you compulsively filter yourself
使你的无趣至极也别有一番趣味 makes your lack of flavor kind of a flavor.
不好意思 又卖完了 Sorry, guys. They ran out again.
得想点办法 Something's gotta be done.
说你呢 Hey!
你搞什么 What the hell, man?
一半鸡柳都跑那边去了 That's half our problem right there.
星霸趁炸鸡柳之便谋私利 Star-Burns works the fryer and skims fingers.
不会吧 No way.
他送鸡柳给别人 He gives them to people just so
大家就装作不鄙视他了 they'll act like he isn't Star-Burns.
虽说我不吃肉 Well, I may not eat meat,
但我绝对不能忍受这种不公平待遇 but I am not gonna eat that injustice.
咱们投诉去 Let's complain.
投诉后校方会警告他 他就会学乖变为暗箱操作了 If we complain, he gets a warning and learns to be sneakier.
我建议 咱们把他踢出厨房 I say we knock him out of the kitchen
然后把我们的人安插进去 and replace him with one of our own
一步到位 all in one move.
以后就是我们掌管鸡柳大权了 Then we're the ones with the chicken.
就像是黑帮电影里那样 It's like a mafia movie.
在我的记忆里 As far back as I can remember,
我一直想出演黑帮电影 I always wanted to be in a mafia movie.
-太棒了 -就像是黑帮电影 阿布蒂 - Cool. - That's exactly what it's like, Abed,
而你需要做最重要的工作 and you get the most important job.
你去当炸鸡的厨子 You're gonna be fry cook.
我们看的不是同一部黑帮电影吧 We may be watching different mafia movies.
你在你父亲的餐馆工作过 对吧 You worked in your dad's restaurant, right?
我们想办法把星霸开除 Well, you'll apply for the job
你就去申请那个职位 after we get Star-Burns fired.
我不知道 I don't know about that.
我不认为他会被炒掉 I don't know about the firing.
我认为他很需要这份薪水 I think he really relies on that income.
是啊 Yeah, man.
每天你们都像羊群一样排队 Every day you flock here like sheep
等待这个肮脏体系无法兑现的诺言 and wait in line for a broken promise from a dirty system.
那时候 Back in those days,
杰夫·翁格是事情的主宰 Jeff Winger was the guy that made things happen.
他知道应该说什么 He always knew what to say
他总是知道什么时候拍桌子 and he always knew when to slap the table.
你想当绵羊 就继续乖乖排队 You want to be sheep, keep flocking.
想要当狼 就要组成狼群 You want to be wolves, form a pack.
就这样 他手到擒来 And that was it. It was that simple.
那一刻 我们不再是普通的大家庭 At that moment, we stopped being a family
而是需要用斜体字特殊标注的 家族 and started being a family... in italics.
布雷塔对星霸施展美人计 Britta got cozy with Star-Burns.
-我能两边都摸一下吗 -没问题 - Can I touch both at--oh! - Yeah, do 'em both.
他放松了警惕 He lowered his guard,
就被开除了 he was gone.
星霸门
我是说 以杰夫的看法 星霸不尊重我们 I mean, the way Jeff saw it, by not respecting us,
他根本就是在自取其辱 Star-Burns had basically brought it on himself.
他的职位空悬时 我们竭尽全力 And when his job opened up, we did what we had to do
保证申请名单上的人数降到最低 to keep the list of applicants to a minimum.
我在我父亲的炸豆丸子[中东特色菜]餐馆工作过 I had worked in my dad's falafel restaurant,
我有非常不错的简历 so I had a pretty impressive resume.
非常好 It's very impressive.
尤其是你的推荐单位 Especially your reference.
我现在给他们打个电话 Just give 'em a call right now.
我们要确保万无一失 But we weren't taking any chances.
早就安排好了 The fix was in.
川普大厦 我是唐纳德[美国商业大亨] Trump Tower, this is Donald.
当然 他能把炸鸡变成一项艺术 Well, he can deep-fry the hell out of chicken.
这点我可以保证 I can tell you that.
特洛伊也申请了这份工作 Troy even applied for the same job
为了让我看起来更出色 and gave the world's worst interview
他故意交出世界上最烂的面试 just to make me look better
大功告成 and that was that.
现在是荣耀的时刻 This was the glorious time.
去餐厅不用跟赛跑似的 No more racing to the cafeteria.
不用排队 No more lines.
对我们来说 窝囊废 输家 绵羊才排队 To us, lines were for suckers, hacks, sheep.
我们是狼群 We were wolves.
我们有炸鸡柳作为凭证 And we had the chicken to prove it.
为了胜利 To victory.
吃起来还是鸡肉 不过感觉却不同 It feels unfamiliar, but it tastes like chicken.
你好 Hi.
-你好 -你们很幸运 - Hello. - You guys are lucky.
-炸鸡柳总是最先卖完 -你想要一个吗 - They're always running out. - Would you like one?
我叫雪瑞 记住了 Name's Shirley. Memorize it.
没问题 雪瑞 I will, Shirley.
看见了吧 女士们 See that, girls?
供需关系统治世界 The universe goes by supply and demand.
你拿走与使用的越多 得到也就越多 The more you take and use, the more it sends.
看来有人拿了额外的 Somebody's been taking a little extra.
里面装着什么 What's in that container?
-八块炸鸡柳 -阿布蒂 - Eight fingers. - Abed.
阿布蒂的学习小组 Abed's study group.
为什么给昌炸鸡 Why are you giving Chang chicken?
-我们有协议 -但是 阿布蒂 - We have an agreement. - But, Abed,
如果你被发现玩小动作 你会被炒掉 if you get caught skimming, you get fired
我们又要像布雷塔一样吃斋了 and we all go back to eating like Britta.
是啊 是我们给了你这份工作 Yeah, we put you in that job.
为了你我可是打扮成疯狂法老了 兄弟 I dressed like a crazy pharaoh for you, man.
你做炸鸡 阿布蒂 不要做决定 You make the fingers, Abed, not the decisions.
-抱歉 -没关系 伙计 - I'm sorry. - It's okay, buddy.
但是要记得炸鸡柳代表着权利 But just remember these things have power.
下次再定协议的时候 So just let me know next time
告诉我一声 好吗 you have any more agreements, all right?
我同意每顿午饭给昌八块炸鸡柳 Yeah, I agreed to give Chang eight fingers per lunch
换来每次西语考试加10%的分数 in exchange for a 10% bump on every spanish test
我们每人都有份 for each of us.
好吧 Okay.
阿布蒂既可以做炸鸡柳 也可以做决定 Abed makes the fingers and the decisions.
-是啊 -没错 - Yeah. - Yeah.
阿布蒂 你是最棒的 Oh, Abed, you're the best.
在格林德尔 炸鸡柳总是不够 At Greendale, they were always out of chicken fingers,
得炸鸡柳者得天下 so whoever could get them had power.
我是戴着围裙的那个人 And I was the guy in the apron,
规矩就由我来定 so I came up with a system
没过多久 格林德尔一半的炸鸡都是从侧门送出去的 and pretty soon half the chicken at Greendale was going out the side door.
我们的团队里各有分工 Everybody in our crew had a job.
特哥负责装袋 T-bone was the bag man.
他把炸鸡柳送到储藏室 He'd move the fingers to a storeroom
由两位女士包装 where two of the girls did the packaging.
我们不担心她们吃掉炸鸡 We could trust them not to eat the supply
因为布雷塔是素食主义者 because Britta was a vegetarian
雪瑞则认为如果偷吃了 and Shirley figured that if she stole,
她会下地狱 she'd go to hell.
她们从窗口把成品交给安妮 They'd hand the stuff out the window to Annie.
她负责跑腿和分发 She was the leg man and distributor.
有意思的是这本来就是他们的食物 The crazy thing was it was their food
我们是把食物偷走再送还给他们 and we were stealing it and giving it back to them
好像我们施了很大的恩惠 like it was a big favor.
没有人提出质疑 Nobody asked any questions
皮尔斯曾经的总裁经历 because Pierce's experience as a CEO
确保了整个行动畅通无阻 had taught him how to keep the wheels from squeaking.
我让一切都进行的井井有条 I had it all worked out on a schedule.
你知道吗 我从来没有被辞退过 You know, I've never been fired from a job.
在你想要抓住我们之前的那一刻 The minute before you thought about busting us,
就在那一刻 我们将炸鸡送到了你的手上 that was the minute you had a chicken in your hand.
说真的 你在我面前 Really, it's just insulting
吃他做的炸鸡柳简直就是在侮辱我嘛 that you're eating his chicken finger in front of me.
大家都闲了下来 Everyone had their hand out.
所有人都对我们拥有的东西垂涎三尺 Everyone wanted what we had.
在所有人中 杰夫有着最重要的工作 And Jeff had the most important job of all.
他高高在上 He was at the top.
他就是老大 He was the boss.
他就是我们的领袖 He was our leader.
搞什么鬼 What the hell is going on?
动漫系贡献的 AV kids hooked it up.
阿布蒂为全系都提供了炸鸡柳 Abed supplied the whole department with chicken fingers.
这不算什么 You think that's good,
看看我的团队和特洛伊的猴子吧 check out my posse and Troy's monkey.
你为什么会有只猴子 Why do you have a monkey?
因为它是只看上去很像人类的动物 Uh, it's an animal that looks like a dude.
这么酷的东东 十只也不嫌多 Why don't I have ten of them?
伙计们 看看阿布蒂给我弄到了什么 Guys, look what Abed scored for me.
它有无数个拉链 It has a million zippers
而且还是免费的哦 and it was free.
-哦 机器人舞 -我是个机器人 - Oh, robot. - I am a robot.
我被设定去喜欢这个背包 I am programmed to love this backpack.
你们都疯了 This is insane.
比设定机器人代替汽车厂工人更疯狂吗 More insane than programming them to replace auto workers?
什么 What?
好吧 不是这学习小组的 请出去吧 Okay, okay, if you're not in this study group, please.
-不 -我在说你们呢 性感辫子哥 - No, no. - That means you, sexy dreadlocks,
-布雷塔的美发师 -什么 - Britta's hairdresser... - What?
-皮尔斯老套的跟班 -老套 -Pierce's hackneyed entourage. - Hackneyed?
你看到那个戴头巾的家伙了吗 You see the turban guy?
在90年代的滑雪电影中 那就是跟班的象征 Yes, in a 90's ski movie that featured an entourage.
你们不觉得这有些失控了吗 Don't you guys think this is getting out of hand?
可我们又没有被抓住啊 Oh, we're not gonna get caught.
学院保安都在掌握中了 We have campus security on the take.
阿布蒂把所有都考虑到了 Abed's got it all figured out.
太好了 真是一种解脱 Well, that's a relief.
是啊 和学院里最厉害的人做朋友真是特别爽 Yeah, it's pretty cool being friends with the biggest man on campus.
对吧 安妮的双峰 Isn't that right, Annie's boobs?
重给那东西起个名字好不 Please rename that thing!
而且这一次 别在微博上与人争论了 And this time, not with a contest on Twitter.
那是人家的微博 It's his Twitter account.
别人想怎样就怎样 He can do what he wants.
这可是我的身体部位 They are my body parts!
你们知道我有什么不爽吗 You know what I don't appreciate?
-我不同意 -我和性感辫子男... - I do not consent to this! - I had sexy dreadlocks...
你不能威胁猴子 You wouldn't threaten a monkey.
我就不会威胁一只猴子 I wouldn't threaten a monkey.
它们比我们有更多的乳酸 They have more lactic acid than us.
和他分享了我的炸鸡 Shared my chicken with him.
-和背包说去吧 -我告诉你了 - Talk to the backpack. - I told you!
-你是最差劲的 安妮 -远界 - You're the worst, Annie. - Streets ahead!
-请到后面排队 -他不用 - Line starts behind you. - Oh, he's cool.
每周三 六块炸鸡柳 Six fingers every Wednesday.
行 那你能提供些什么 Cool. And what can you offer?
我有辆自行车 I have a bicycle
我还教授初级网球课程 and I teach beginner's tennis.
很好 好吧 Cool. Okay.
每周三 六块炸鸡柳 Six fingers Wednesdays.
好了 All right.
我们会联系你的 珍娜 We'll be in touch, Janel.
-谢谢你 阿布蒂 -客气了 - Thank you, Abed. - You're welcome.
-杰夫 你好 -你好啊 伙计 -Hey, Jeff. - Hey, buddy.
你这里差不多是个组织了啊 It's quite a setup you got here.
是的 我对此很激动 Yean. I'm pretty excited about it.
我发现每个人都有需求 It turns out everyone has needs
而且每个人也都有他的作用 and everyone has functions.
听着 我一直在想 Look, um, I've been thinking,
或许我该按下红色大按钮 maybe I need to hit the big red button
让这次行动结束了 and bring an end to this operation.
我是说 曾经是蛮好玩的 I mean, it's been fun,
但是现在有些失控了 but it's out of control now.
-我说的对吗 -我不知道 - Am I right? - I don't know.
我们小组控制着整个学校 The entire campus is controlled by our group,
炸鸡柳控制着我们小组 our group is controlled by chicken,
而我 控制着炸鸡柳 and the chicken is controlled by me.
-来口浮冰饮料 -不用了 -Float? - I'm good.
阿布蒂 黑帮电影已经过时了 Abed, the mafia movie is over.
我没有在模仿黑帮电影 I'm not doing a mafia movie.
实际上 我已经不再需要引用电影 In fact, I don't need to use movies
或电视剧来与人交谈了 or tv shows to talk to people anymore.
之前我需要它们 Before, I only needed them
只是因为日常世界对我来说毫无意义 because the day-to-day world made no sense to me,
但现在 大家都在说同一种语言了 but now, everyone's speaking the same language.
炸鸡 Chicken.
我了解了大家 而他们也最终了解了我 I understand people and they finally understand me.
阿布蒂 大家最终还是会厌倦炸鸡的 Abed, eventually people are gonna get tired of chicken.
我就已经厌倦炸鸡了 I'm tired of chicken.
你才没厌倦炸鸡呢 You're not tired of chicken.
你只是想念操控一切的感觉 You miss the taste of control.
那才是疯了 Well, that's crazy.
是吗 Is it?
不幸的是 驱使你来这个房间的东西 Unfortunately, the very thing that drove you to this dorm room
是你无法顺利操纵这个组织的感觉 is what would prevent you from properly running this machine
甚至于 你在组织里无足轻重 or even being a cog in it.
尊严受损 Your ego.
好吧 Well...
我懂了 我懂了 I see. I see.
原来这一直都是在针对我 This has been about me the whole time.
你想要篡夺杰夫·翁格的王位吗 You want a shot at the Jeff Winger throne?
你最好有个配得上这王位的屁股 You better bring a powerful ass.
告诉你 我没你说得那么自负 Oh, and for your information, I don't have an ego.
我的Facebook头像 是张风景照 My Facebook photo is a landscape.
你是最棒的 爱德华多 You're the best, Eduardo.
谢谢你们的到来 Thank you all for coming.
能快点完事儿吗 Can we make this quick?
我得给安妮的双峰喂香蕉 I need to give a banana to Annie's boobs.
阿布蒂醉心于鸡柳大权 不能自拔 Abed is drunk with chicken power.
他已经从可爱的"霹雳五号"变成了"邪恶哈尔" He's gone from lovable Johnny Five to Evil Hal.
-哈尔·霍尔布...-才不是哈尔·霍尔布鲁克[美国演员] - Hal Holb-- - Not Hal Holbrook.
你要说什么 What are you saying?
你们不能再任他摆布了 You all have to stop working for him.
行动停止吧 让他邪恶的掌控停止吧 Let this operation dry up and let his wheels spin down.
然后你就能重揽大权 是吧 At which point you would be in charge again, right?
-什么 -太可悲了 - What? - This is so sad.
你妒忌阿布蒂 因为他对我们有求必应 You're jealous of Abed because he's providing for us.
我关心阿布蒂 No, I'm concerned about Abed
他根本就不听忠告 because he won't listen to reason.
是不听你所谓的忠告吧 Won't listen to your reason.
他干嘛要听 杰夫太不... Why should he? Jeff's so not...
说"远界"你就死翘翘了 Say "Streets ahead" and die.
远界 Streets ahead.
你想跟我摆架子充老大吗 You want to boss me around?
给我配个跟班 给特洛伊配只猴 Get me an entourage. Get Troy a monkey.
-这才是老大应该做的 -正是 - That's what a real boss does. - Yes.
没跟阿布蒂汇报 也许我们半句话都不该同他讲 We probably shouldn't even be talking to him without checking with Abed.
我正在联系他 I'm already trying him.
他没接电话 你对他做了什么 He's not picking up. What did you do with him?
真不敢相信 你们变的如此贪婪兼过河拆桥 I don't believe what greedy sellouts you people turned out to be.
我才不会站在这儿饱受无视 I'm not gonna stand here and be ignored.
住嘴 语音信箱 Shh! Voicemail.
阿布蒂 Hey, Abed.
杰夫说你不听他的 Jeff says you're not listening to him.
这是不是表示我们也不该听他的呢 Does that mean we shouldn't listen to him either?
还有 是不是该为我们的犯罪家族 Oh, also, should we make special jackets
制作特别夹克呢 for our crime family?
比如 把鸡柳印在夹克上 Like, blazers with chicken finger patches.
你来定夺 我话太多了 抱歉 I don't know. Long message. I'm sorry.
-够了 -阿布蒂驾到 - That's it! - Ooh!Abed!
听着 我现在就要走出这扇门了 Look, I'm walking out this door right now.
请便 Okay.
-真的哦 -那再好不过 - For real. - Good.
我连头都不会回一下 I'm not gonna look back.
-再见 -再见啦 - Good-bye. - Good-bye!
阿布蒂 Abed!
-你好啊 -太好了 - Hi! - Yes!
有谁需要什么吗 Anybody need anything?
需要很多 你好帅啊 Oh, everything. You look handsome.
阿布蒂 你的一切我都喜欢 I like everything about you now, Abed.
我要个新美发师 I want a new hairdresser though.
没错 我害你被炒了 Yeah, I got you fired.
你活该 You deserved it.
也许是 也许不是 Maybe. Maybe not.
问题是 他们应得什么报应 The question is: what do they deserve?
这是厨房的钥匙 Key to the kitchen.
炸锅的后面有个阀门 There's a valve on the back of the chicken fryer
这种阀门已经绝版了 that's not made anymore.
现在嘛 有人要是去把那个拿掉了 Now, say someone were to remove it.
油锅就无用武之地了 The fryer wouldn't work...
永永远远 Forever.
你觉得我有那么卑鄙吗 How petty do you think I am?
杰夫的离去 对大家并没有什么影响 Jeff leaving the family didn't turn out to be a problem.
好了 我想大家都为考试准备就绪了 Okay, I think we're set for the quiz.
-没错 -课上见 - Yep. - See you guys in class.
等等 先别走 Oh, wait. Before you go.
-给你 -免费笔记本 - Here. - Oh, free notebooks.
但家族的成功 已被他们视为理所当然了 But the family's success started to go to their heads.
-这些没有印标准行距线 -没有 抱歉 - They didn't have college ruled? - No, sorry.
没关系 It's okay.
-阿布蒂 -怎么了 -Abed? - Yeah?
-能跟你说句话吗 -当然 - Can I talk to you for a minute? - Sure.
有情况了 We have a situation.
-你好 -这是哪位啊 - Hey. - Who is this?
这是崔维斯 It's Travis.
你说想要个叫崔维斯的跟班 You said you wanted someone in your entourage named Travis.
给他瞅瞅你的驾照 Show him your license.
崔维斯是中间名而已 Travis is his middle name.
-但我还是叫崔维斯啊 -不 你还是从那门走吧 - I go by Travis. - No, you go by the door.
崔维斯 回见 See you, Travis.
-阿布蒂 -怎么了 - Abed? - Yep?
不用过来 No, no, no, no.
我的猴不爱这种鱼子酱 My monkey hates this caviar.
特洛伊 这不是那... Troy, isn't that--
他们恃宠而骄 贪得无厌 好吃懒做 They were spoiled, fat, lazy.
我为他们鞠躬尽瘁 但到头来 I'd given them everything and somehow
我尊严扫地 I'd lost their respect.
所以 我做了唯一能想到的事 So I did the only thing I could think of.
我遵循杰夫的作风 I did what I thought Jeff would do.
让他们见识了我的厉害 I sent them a message.
你应该感激我 阿布蒂留
这段时光不堪回首 These were the bad times.
-他在那儿 -杰夫 - There he is. - Jeff.
-杰夫 -杰夫 - Jeff! - Jeff!
阿布蒂残害了我的背包 Abed killed my backpack.
我撞见他给我的男人塞进 And I caught him stuffing my man
满嘴鸡柳 泰勒·派瑞有整整一系列的电影 full of chicken and Tyler Perry has a whole series of movies
阐明这种行径是错误的 about why that's wrong.
那个小阿拉伯人昏头了 That little Arab is off his rocker.
他把安妮的双峰放跑了 He released Annie's boobs.
安妮的双峰下落不明 Annie's boobs could be anywhere.
-安妮的双峰可能流落街头 -知道了 -Annie's boobs could be on the side of the road. - We got it.
那猴名叫安妮的双峰 The monkey's name is "Annie's boobs."
瞧瞧 阿布蒂对我的头发都干了些什么 Look what Abed did to my hair.
我为你们深表难过 I feel terrible for all of you.
等等 我才不呢 因为我警告过你们 Wait, no, I don't, because I warned you
但是你们被背包与发型迷晕了头 about all this, but you were so high on your backpacks and hairstyles,
你们指责说是我妒忌了 you accused me of being jealous.
你是对的 但我们该怎么做 You were right. But what can we do?
抱歉 前半句你一带而过了 I'm sorry, you brushed over that first part.
一起说 Together.
你是对的 You were right.
现在你们该做的就是回家 Now what you can do is go home
把这句话写在浴室的镜子上 and write that on your bathroom mirror.
这样的话 岂不是说"我是对的"? Wouldn't that make it seem like I was right?
-是啊 那是我的镜子 -我浴室没有镜子 - Yeah, because it would be my mirror. - I don't have a mirror...
这怎么会有歧义呢 因为你们... It's not gonna be reversed because you're the one who--
至于说阿布蒂 为了他好 As for Abed, for his sake,
我看我必须调教他一下了 I guess I'll have to take him out.
可怜的小家伙 Poor little guy.
太好了 真棒 Oh, good. That's nice.
阿布蒂 Abed.
你在做什么 What are you doing?
炸土豆泥 Making tater tots.
你是对的 人们会对炸鸡腻味的 You were right, people got sick of chicken.
但我接近了 But I was close.
只需要一种新的食物 新的动作系统 I just need a new food, a new system.
下一步 我打算试试椒盐辣味什锦条 I'm gonna experiment with jalapeno poppers next
-还有西葫芦拼盘 -我不明白 -and then zucchini zircles. - I don't get it.
杰夫 这并不复杂 It's not that complicated, Jeff.
只是把拼盘这个单词的C 换成了Z They replaced the "C" in circle with a "Z" For zucchini.
不是这个 我是问你为什么在这儿 No, no, I mean, why are you here?
你说自己接近了 You said you were close?
接近了什么 What were you close to?
学习小组吗 To the group?
人类? To people?
别在我身上弄个特别辑出来 Please don't do a special episode about me.
我想都不会想 Oh, I wouldn't dream of it.
人人都需要我的帮助 Everyone else needs my help.
但大家不明白 That's what people don't get,
他们需要理解我 is that they need to get me.
我只是想要和你一样 能与人沟通 I just need to be able to connect to people like you can,
这样我可以让每个人都快乐 and then I can make everyone happy.
知道我为什么在这里吗 Do you know why I'm here?
你的假文凭曝光了 才沦落此地 You got caught with a fake bachelor's degree.
顺便说下 《法律与秩序》的整季架构也用了这招 By the way, they started using that as a seasonal arc on "Law & Order".
真是欺骗观众 Total rip off.
我是来拆除炸锅的 I'm here to dismantle the fryer,
从源头 掐断你的权力 to cut your power off at its source.
你还没认识到发生了什么事吗 Don't you see what happened?
我操纵小组 让你得到这份工作 I manipulated the group into getting you the fry cook job
这样我就有炸鸡吃 so I could have some chicken.
而你却利用这职位 让每个人都喜欢你 And you turned it all into a way to make everyone like you.
让我觉得丢人 Made me ashamed of myself.
让我觉得妒忌 Made me jealous.
也许这是特别辑 Maybe this is a special episode.
-杰夫 这可是警钟 -是的 -It's pretty alarming behavior, Jeff. - Yeah.
这里有个专家 你可以聊聊 You know, there's specialists you could talk to.
-是的 也许我应该聊聊 -是 - Yeah, maybe I should do that. - Mm-hmm.
-另外 -什么 - In the meantime... - Mm-hmm?
我们做个交易吧 Let's make a deal.
我会帮助你和大家沟通 I'll help you connect with people,
你帮助我与他人沟通得更好 and you help me do a better job with them.
就像《霹雳游侠》[NBC经典罪案剧] Like "Knight Rider".
正是 就像《霹雳游侠》 Exactly. Like "Knight Rider".
成交 Deal.
我会穿上皮夹克 I'll put on a leather jacket
和健美操教练亲热 and make out with an aerobics instructor.
你就带喜剧色彩的周旋四处 You pull around front and comedically
能言善辩到足以惊吓路人[剧中情节] startle passersby with your ability to talk.
也许我们应该就在这儿 Maybe we should just stay here
享受一盘炸鸡柳 and have a plate of chicken fingers.
帅 Cool.
我们能坐在桌上吃吗 Can we eat them while sitting on a table
就像电影《十六支蜡烛》[84年青春片] like in "Sixteen Candles"?
-阿布蒂 只能选一个作参考 -《十六支蜡烛》 - Pick one reference, Abed. - "Sixteen Candles"
就这样 黑帮电影结束了 And just like that, the mafia movie was over.
我辞掉了炸鸡柳的工作 I quit the fry cook job,
有几分是为了这个大家庭 somewhat for the sake of the family,
但最主要 是为了杰夫的尊严 but mostly for the sake of jeff's ego.
可怜的杰夫 Poor guy.
一切都回归正轨 Things went back to normal.
大家都做回了正常笨蛋团体中的一员 Now everyone's back to being a bunch of regular schnooks,
我也回到了怪胎的角色 and I'm back to being a weirdo,
和以前一样 热眼旁观 back to watching from the outside...
暂时的 For now.
炸鸡柳总是不够 There's still not enough chicken fingers.
-不是吧 -什么 - No way. - What?
因为我们这个家族刚退出 'Cause as soon as our family moved out,
马上有新的集团上位 a new syndicate moved in to take its place.
但你知道他们永远无法替代的角色是什么吗 But you know what they'll never make a replacement for?
朋友 Friends.
谢谢 阿布蒂 非常好 Okay, thank you. That's great, Abed.
但你能直接回答问题吗 But could you just answer the question?
什么问题 What was it?
你是否知道 有可能是谁 Do you know who might have stolen
从厨房偷了一盒发网 a box of hairnets from the kitchen?
-有头发的人 -我写下这点 - Someone with hair. - I'm gonna write that down.
-准备好了吗 -嗯 - Ready? - Mm-hmm.
没玩过的 Never been done.
-不错 -我来了 - That's nice. - Here I come.
-同一楼梯走上来 -很好 - Back up at same stairs. - It's good.
上下扶手电梯 Double escalator.
我没见过这个 你们怎么会想到的 I haven't see that before. How did you think of that?
现在送上经典桥段 And now for our signature trick.
劲爆电梯 Awesome elevator.
-不看了 -看不下去了 - No. - I can't do it.
家里还有孩子呢 我得回去了 I got babies. I gotta get home.
-不看是损失 -是的 - It's their loss. - Yeah.
-劲爆换衫 -没错 -That was awesome. - Yeah.