我们在野营 我们吃东西 We was camping, and we was eating,
美洲狮一只 and it was a mountain lion
跳过来 咬住我的腿 jump all the way down and eat my leg.
我倒是觉得美洲狮 I think a mountain lion jump down
把她的语法吃掉了 and eat someone's grammar.
电音混音版更赞 The auto-tune remix is way better.
-找下相关视频 -好的 - Go to related videos. - Uh-huh.
-美洲狮 我们在野营 -很好 - Mountain lion--we was camping-- - Good.
美洲狮 美洲狮 Mountain lion, mountain lion--
-教授 -安妮 求你别开口了 - Professor? - Oh, Annie, please don't start.
都跟你说过了 We've been through this.
人类学是研究人类的学科 Anthropology is the study of humanity.
讲什么都不跑题 Nothing is off topic.
不是 这个我看过了 No, it's just, I've seen this one.
指阴部明显的女人 出自《气象预报员》
搜索"车碾骆驼蹄" Put in "Car crash camel toe."
等等 搜索"滑雪忍者裂裤裆" Wait, wait, wait, wait. "Ski lift ninja crotch rip."
裂裤裆 Crotch rip.
我是滑雪忍者 Whoo! I'm a ski lift ninja!
美国乡村女歌手 整容怪人
看 多莉·帕顿要吃香肠咯 Look, Dolly Parton eating a hot dog.
-别这样 -是啊 - Stop that! - Yeah.
关你啥事 I can do what I want.
你搜索"上帝"会找到什么 Uh, what happens if you type in "God"?
切 Boo!
-每个人都会恨你的 -别嘘她 - Everybody hates you. And-- - Do not boo her.
这次的主题定义不明确 怎么搜都行 This subject's lack of definition cuts both ways.
要是搜"放屁"可以 搜"上帝"也行 If farts are fair game, so is God.
最热词条 "神屁上帝" Top hit, "God of farts."
-是你要搜的 -两边不耽误 - You ask for it... - It balances out.
那是亵渎上帝 谁会看这个 That's blasphemous. Who wants to see that?
1700万次点击量 17 million people.
昨晚我们教会有九个人 There were nine people at my church last night.
-电音"神屁上帝" -没错 - Auto-tune god of farts. - Yeah!
太棒了 Yeah!
早就找到了 Way ahead of you.
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翻译：大卫熊 夕橙 小九 米粒
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校对：米粒 时间轴：崽猪
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后期：鱼骨头 监制：米粒
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《废柴联盟》 第二季 第五集 iTunes 720p版本调教：Tears
阿布蒂 猜猜谁举起两个大拇指 Abed, guess who's got two thumbs
给了你一个发展事业的良机 and has an exciting career opportunity for you?
这家伙 This guy.
我的大拇指指的是上帝 I'm pointing my thumbs at god.
我用一个大拇指说 太棒了 I'm using one thumb to say that's great.
我跟我的牧师提起了YouTube Um, I told my pastor about youtube
告诉他那上面没有给孩子们的指引之光 and how there's no light there for the kids,
我们教会想投资 And our church wants to sponsor
拍摄一部含有基督教讯息的病毒式视频 the making of a viral video with a christian message.
你想怎么做 "饶舌耶稣"吗 Ha! What are you gonna do, "Rapping Jesus"?
皮尔斯 闪一边去 Pierce, please just step aside
给年轻人腾点儿地儿 and make room for a new generation.
阿布蒂 你愿意帮忙拍基督教视频吗 Um, Abed, would you like to make a christian youtube?
我知道你是穆斯林 I know you're muslim.
作为穆斯林 我很愿意 As a muslim, I'd be happy to do it.
作为电影人 不行 As a filmmaker, no way.
我是个讲故事的人 可不是传道士 I'm a storyteller, not a preacher.
圣经被称作是世界上最伟大的故事 Well, the bible has been called the greatest story ever told.
本·莱恩斯 著名影评人
本·莱恩斯也是这么说《我是传奇》的 Ben Lyons said the same thing about I Am Legend.
那我得租来瞻仰瞻仰 Oh, well, I'll have to rent that, then.
-喂 -怎么了 - Whoa. - What?
全是意面 没有蔬菜 That's a lot of pasta for no veggies.
关你啥事 You're not in charge of what I eat.
对啊 布雷塔 That's true. Britta!
再给我来点该死的西兰花 And some damn broccoli, please.
皮尔斯最近表现不太正常 Pierce has been acting out a lot lately.
你应该和他谈谈 Maybe you should talk to him.
为什么要我去谈 How is that my job?
你在小组里不是...老爸吗 Aren't you, like, the dad?
老爸会话说一半就走吗 Would the dad walk away from this conversation?
不会 No?
你午饭就吃饼干 You're having cookies for lunch?
-是啊 -你还没付钱呢 - Yeah. - Hey, you didn't pay for those.
有本事你叫警察啊 Call a cop.
我来了 老混蛋们 Heads up, gay wads.
-嘿 -有饼干 - Hey! - Cookies!
新鲜不花钱 Fresh and stolen.
你丫看什么呢 What are you looking at?
看你的脸 Your face.
看人当然得看脸 That's what you're supposed to look at.
-然后呢 -你到底要不要坐下 - So? - So? You gonna sit down or what?
不了 我通常都是和年轻人混一起 Oh, no, I usually sit with the younger people.
哎呦喂 Well, la de da de da.
应该是Youtube - 境外某不河蟹视频网站
不不 我们在Youtune上看视频 No, no, we watch videos on "Youtune,"
你们大概都不知道那是什么 And you guys probably don't even know what that is.
管它呢 We don't care.
皮尔斯 你在找我们吗 Pierce, are you looking for us?
-我们在那边坐 -我能看见 - We're sitting over there. - I can see!
激动什么 你吃药了没 Sheesh! Did you take your pills?
-噢 -妈咪的小乖乖 - Ooh! - Mama's boy.
我们有事要谈 We're having a private conversation here.
这样啊 抱歉 你们好 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry. Um, hi.
我是布雷塔 皮尔斯的 I'm--I'm Britta, Pierce's--
见到你们很高兴 Very nice meeting you guys.
见到你们很高兴 "Very nice meeting you guys."
她是个女同 She's a lesbian.
-雪瑞 -什么事 - Shirley. - Hmm?
-我读了《新约》 -都看了吗 - I read the New Testament. - The whole thing?
我是看电视电影长大的 You know, being raised by tv and movies,
我一直以为耶稣是个能在水上行走 I always thought that Jesus just walked on water
告诉人们不能堕胎的人 and told people not to have abortions,
但事实上 他比那酷多了 but it's so much cooler than that.
他就像是ET 爱德华·西斯海德 He was like E.T., Edward Scissorhands,
人物分别来自《外星人ET》《剪刀手爱德华》《回到未来》
和马蒂·麦克弗莱三者的结合体 and Marty Mcfly combined.
我愿意制作一部耶稣的电影 I would love to make a Jesus movie.
阿布蒂 那太棒了 Oh, Abed, that's wonderful!
你有什么想法 What do you think we should do?
电影要够装逼 够牛逼才行 It needs to be cool and addictive,
就像小猫咪睡觉那个 like that video of the kitten falling asleep.
非常正确 Absolutely.
但是这个故事都快被讲烂了 But the story's been told to death,
所以我想用全新的方式来呈现 so I want to approach it in a new way.
我们要拍出一部后后现代的耶稣电影 We need a Jesus movie for the post post-modern world.
是说耶稣是饶舌歌手吗 Like Jesus as a rapper?
不是 No.
这个耶稣的故事 I want to tell the story of Jesus
我想站在一个探索耶稣一生的电影人角度来讲述 from the perspective of a filmmaker exploring the life of Jesus.
听起来挺能吸引电影人的 That sounds very appealing to filmmakers.
在电影人的电影中 耶稣就是电影人 See, in the filmmaker's film, Jesus is a filmmaker
并试图用他的摄像机找到上帝 trying to find god with his camera.
但是后来电影人发现他就是耶稣 But then the filmmaker realizes that he's actually Jesus
而他正被上帝的摄像机拍摄 and he's being filmed by god's camera.
这样电影就像是两向无限延伸 And it goes like that forever in both directions,
像是镜中之镜 like a mirror in a mirror,
因为所有的电影人都是耶稣 because all of the filmmakers are Jesus,
而他们所有的摄像机都是上帝 and all their cameras are God,
电影的名字就叫做《阿布蒂》 and the movie is called Abed.
字母全部大写 All caps.
超脱于电影之外的电影 影外之影 Filmmaking beyond film. A metafilm.
我的杰作 My masterpiece.
-但我不喜欢 -没关系 - But I don't like it. - Well, that's Okay.
你的反应与当初世人对耶稣的所为 并无二致 You know, you're reacting the way the world did to Jesus.
我的反应不是针对耶稣 I'm reacting the way the world does
而是你所谓的影中影中影 to movies about making movies about making movies.
我是说 拜托 查理·考夫曼[鬼才导演] I mean, come on, Charlie Kaufman,
我们之中还是有人要早起做工的 some of us have work in the morning, damn.
这是不是意味着你不想参与制作电影了 Does this mean you don't want to work on the movie?
意味着这电影没戏了 This means there is no movie.
这就是电影啊 This is the movie.
deuces wild/狂野牌2号 一种扑克游戏
这牌玩儿得才叫狂野呢 The game is jacks and deuces wild.
要是院长这会儿进来 咱就真要狂野了 Except if the dean comes in, and then it's bingo.
拿着喝 我还有一瓶 Keep it. I've got another one.
要是你被逮到了 If you get caught with that,
就说这是为了庆祝你90岁生日的 just say it's your 90th birthday.
瞬间就显得你可爱无比 Suddenly, it's adorable.
没错 That's right.
好啦 抓现行 怎么又犯毛病啦 All right, now. What is this again?
B-19 B-19.
少来 B-19个大头鬼 No. B-19, my butt.
我告诉你们别玩扑克牌 忘啦 I told you guys no poker, all right?
赶紧收摊 Shut this down!
赶紧闭嘴 你个小基基 Shut your mouth down, fruit.
过分了啊 少管闲事 Oh, hey, unacceptable, and none of your business,
我可不止是小基基 and barely the whole truth.
好啦 各回各家 All right, everyone go home.
-请原谅 先生 -啥事 皮尔斯 - Excuse me, Mister? - What, Pierce?
-今年是几几年来着 -你说啥 - What year is it? - What?
扑克牌可以帮助他记忆 Poker helps him remember.
维罗妮卡 Veronica.
好样的 小鬼 You are okay, kid.
继续玩 走着 Go ahead and deal. Let's go.
耶稣 你真是为我们的罪而死吗 Jesus, did you really die for our sins?
那也太傻冒了 That's dopey.
哦 是太笨了 Oh, uh, dope.
哦 口误 说溜嘴了 Ooh, freudian slip,
也许是因为我觉得自己就是一傻帽 Perhaps due to my feeling kind of dopey.
照词念 无神论者 Do the line, atheist.
耶稣 你真是为我们的罪而死吗 Jesus, did you really die for our sins?
那也太笨了 That's dope.
你以为这样很笨吗 You think that's dope?
听听这些 布道之言吧 Check out these... Beatitudes.
和平之者受祝福 顺民得真言 Blessed be the peacemakers, word to the meek,
天堂之国永开放 The kingdom of heaven is open all week,
耶稣与我 Jesus and me were--
我降临了 I have arrived!
我被世人注视正如我注视着世人 I am watched, as I am watching.
我既是观众又是创世主 I am audience and creation.
世间必将知晓我之神力 The earth shall know my power!
阿布蒂 你干吗呢 Abed, what are you doing?
我晕 你搞砸拍摄了 Oh, great! You blew the take!
别 继续拍摄 No, no, keep rolling.
这也是影片的一部分 This can all be part of it.
这里没有拍摄 There are no takes.
也没有观众 There is no viewer.
电影即故事 The film is the story.
故事即我们 The story is us.
我们就是电影 We are the film.
意味深长 It's totally meta.
好啦 咱们打道回府 Well, let's get back
继续咱们意味短浅的作品吧 好吗 to our non-meta production, shall we?
-走吧 -不要 我想看这个 - Come on. - No, I want to watch this.
特洛伊 我们没时间看这个 Troy, there's no time.
那我们退出 好吗 布雷塔 Then, we quit. Right, Britta?
我根本就不信上帝 I don't even believe in God,
但我挺愿意跟着阿布蒂混 But I love me some Abed.
没错 Yeah.
等一下 Wait, wait.
故事中的故事才是真正的故事 "The story of the story is the story."
哼 也就波基普西能播这片子吧[纽约某县] Sure, that'll play in Poughkeepsie.
我听说有剧院会倒着放这部电影 I heard some theaters are gonna show it in reverse.
我听说这电影顺着放和倒着放都一样 I heard it's the same movie backward and forward.
我听说删掉的场景才是真正的场景 I heard the deleted scenes are the scenes
而所有的场景都是删掉的场景 and the scenes are the deleted scenes.
我听说耶稣是为我们的罪孽而死 I heard Jesus died for our sins.
嘿 同志们 Oh, hey, guys,
导演问答会正在自助餐厅举行 The director's answering questions in the cafeteria,
这是也不是电影的一部分 and it both is and isn't part of the movie!
快去占位 Get a table!
阿布蒂 我们现在都在电影中吗 Abed, are we all in the movie right now?
即使没有摄像机 我们还是都在电影中 We are all in a movie, even when there are no cameras.
电影何时杀青呢 When will the movie be released?
生命何时杀青呢 When is life released?
我们生活中的每一分钟都是世界首映 Every minute of our lives is a world premiere,
而上帝已经买好爆米花了 and my father has already bought the popcorn.
厉害啊 Whoa!
抱歉 阿布蒂 你不是想说 Excuse me, Abed, but you aren't actually trying to say
你就是耶稣吧 对吗 that you're Jesus, are you?
你说我是谁我便是谁 I am who you say I am.
太牛了 Oh, man.
好吧 哦也 意味深长啊 Okay, yeah, ooh, it's meta now.
可别忘了 Except here's the thing.
我是虔诚的基督徒 而你们这些人 I'm a devout christian, and you guys
却被这可怜娃的幻象所迷惑 are feeding into this poor boy's delusions.
圣经中言行不一的伪善者
太给力了 她就是个活生生的法利赛教徒 So cool! She's atual real life pharisee!
老婆子 何不滚回你的老庙里 Hey, bitch, why don't you go back to your temple?
你们何不把这个自大的电影疯子 Why don't you all stop confusing Jesus
和上主耶稣给区分清楚呢 with an egotistical filmmaking lunatic?
我宽恕她 I forgive her.
阿布蒂 你的大作进展如何 So, how's your film going, Abed?
渎神的可来劲了 Blasphemously.
说自己是上帝并不是渎神 雪瑞 It's not blasphemy to say that we are god, Shirley.
哥林多前书 First corinthians:
圣经全书第46章
"但与主联合的 "He who unites himself with the lord
便是与主成为一灵" is one with him in spirit."
你跟我拽圣经么 穆斯林 Did you just scripture me, muslim?
耶稣是犹太人 Jesus was jewish.
你能不能别揪着不放 Are you ever gonna let that go?
喂 勿谈宗教 Hey. No religious talk.
某人可迟到了哟 Somebody's late.
你兜里装着什么 What is that in your pocket?
杰夫 布雷塔 皮尔斯抽雪茄 Jeff, Britta, Pierce is smoking cigars.
有你什么事 口臭女 What's it to you, butt-breath?
看你那眼睛 Look at your eyes.
你跟那些犀利哥鬼混了一晚上么 Have you been out all night with those hipsters?
犀利哥 Hipsters?
餐厅里的那群老家伙 That pack of old people that hang out in the cafeteria.
大家都叫他们犀利哥 People call them hipsters
因为他们有股子犀利哥的痴傻劲儿 'cause they all have hip replacements.
他们才不是 They do not.
伦纳德会痛扁你一顿的 Leonard could probably kick your ass.
伦纳德 Leonard?
你跟伦纳德一起鬼混 You're hanging out with Leonard?
你明知道我讨厌他 You know I hate him.
那又怎样 大家都讨厌他 So? Everybody hates him.
所以他才酷啊 That's why he's cool.
你们这些小年轻不懂的 You people don't get it.
皮尔斯 我也不想明白 Well, Pierce, I'm not sure that I want to get it,
我建议你还是悠着点 And I think you ought to take a break
离你的新朋友远一点 from these new friends of yours.
他们把你搞的流里流气的 They've got you all riled up.
伦纳德早猜到你会这么说 That's what Leonard said you'd say.
伦纳德不是这个学习小组的成员 Well, Leonard is not a part of this study group,
所以你现在就道歉 So you apologize right now to--
搞什么 我又不是你爹 What? Ah! I'm not your father!
我也没说你是 I never said you were!
-你去哪儿 -出去 - Where are you going? - Out!
皮尔斯什么时候变得这么犀利了 When did Pierce become awesome?
我要去砸你的场子 你知道吗 I am gonna shut you down, you know that?
-我知道 -我明白了 - I do. - Oh! Oh, I get it!
你想让我砸场子 I'm supposed to shut you down.
-我偏不去 -那就别去 - Well, I'm not gonna do it. - Don't.
-我不会的 -好 - I won't. - Good.
我一定把你场子砸了 I am gonna shut you down.
好 Good.
你真应该看看他那张脸 You should have seen his face.
他吓坏了 He was terrified.
你现在是他的心头大患 You're his worst nightmare now.
倚老卖老 啥也不屌 You're old and you don't give a damn.
噢耶 Booyah!
别看他们 没什么的 Don't make eye contact, and we'll be fine.
老大来了 Mmm, here comes the boss!
-校长有伴儿了 -这一对真喜庆 - The dean has got a date. - What a lovely couple.
你们就消停会 不行吗 Please, give us a break, will you?
在我出来前 你们统统给我消失 I don't want to see you hipsters when I come back out here!
走 快跑 咱把他们惹毛了 Go! Run, run. We made them angry.
-咱把他们惹毛了 -他的钥匙落下了 - We've made them angry. - Hey, he left his keys.
谁想兜兜风 Ooh, who's up for a joyride?
-当然想 -我没想好 - Hell yeah. - Oh, I don't know.
这样会惹到大麻烦的 We could get into some serious trouble here.
算了吧你 Oh, come on.
万一被逮到 We get caught,
我们就装神志不清 We can just pretend we're disoriented,
然后他们就会送我们回家 And he can give us a ride home.
我在哪儿 现在是几几年 Where am I? What year is it?
但是咱们喝酒了啊 But we've all been drinking.
你丫有蛋没有 Oh, grow a schmekel.
大家注意 最后一场 Okay, everyone, this is the last scene.
我要感谢所有为这部史上最伟大的电影 I want to thank you all for contributing in your small way
贡献出微薄力量的人们 to the greatest film ever made.
圣经有言"第七天 上帝为世界万物赐福"
而在第七天 雪瑞覆灭了这部电影 And on the seventh day, shirley shut down production.
阿布蒂 雪瑞告诉我说 Abed, Shirley has informed me
你用学校的器材 that you are using school equipment
拍宗教电影 on school property to make a religious film.
她呈交了正式抗议 She has filed an official complaint,
援引了政教分离的原则 invoking the separation of church and state.
我已经跟她说了这很扯 I pointed out the irony to her already.
别废话了 扯就扯吧 Don't give a crap. Let's be ironic.
-让他停 -好 - Shut it down. - Okay.
阿布蒂 你在拍摄宗教电影吗 Abed, are you making a religious film?
对我来说 所有的电影都有宗教含义 All movies are religious to me.
答的好 那你的电影是讲耶稣的吗 Nice. But is it a movie about Jesus?
《黑客帝国》是吗 《铁甲威龙》是吗 Is the Matrix? Is Robocop?
《超人归来》是吗 Is Superman Returns?
所有的电影都是讲述死亡和复生的 All stories are about death and resurrection.
想到一个 《星际迷航2可汗怒吼》 I've got one. Wrath of khan, hmm?
这个很不错 That's a good one.
史波克牺牲自己拯救船员 最后复活了 Spock sacrifices himself for the crew and gets reborn.
里卡多·蒙特尔班 可汗扮演者
里卡多·蒙特尔班演的多棒啊 How captivating was Ricardo Montalban in that?
在阿布蒂的电影里 主角可不叫史波克 Except in Abed's film, the character's name isn't Spock!
没错 叫阿布蒂 That's true. It's Abed.
哇 我已经闻到创意的狐臭了 Oh. I'm getting creative goose bumps here.
我喜欢查理·考夫曼 I love Charlie Kaufman.
过会儿我要剪片子了 I need to run into editing for one second,
如果你肯等 我们可以给你一张椅子 But if you want, we can grab you a chair
你可以观摩一下 and you can watch a take.
那敢情好 I would love that.
我以前从来没看过现场拍摄 I've never watched a take before.
-真棒 -你不是说 - This is exciting. - Uh, you--
随你怎么告状 Say what you will about Abed,
他可是不死之身 but the man cannot be killed.
基本就跟耶稣一样了 I mean, it's almost like he's Jesus.
我懂你意思 I got it.
咱们不该开车 I don't think we should be driving.
你看 咱们又老又晕乎 I mean, we're all, you know, old and groggy.
别瞎操心了 God, stop worrying.
理查德二战的时候开过零式战斗机的 Richard flew zeroes during the big one.
日军 三菱零式舰载战斗机
扯毛呢 还开零式战斗机 What do you mean, "Flew zeroes"?
他又不是小日本 He's not japanese.
你原来开什么的 小理子 Well, what did you fly during the big one, Rich?
我在哪 Where am I?
行了 别装了 Oh, come on. Stop farting around.
说真的 我不知道自己在哪儿呢 Seriously, I don't know where I am.
现在几几年 What year is it?
咋开车啊 How do I drive?
咱撤吧 Let's bail.
等等 理查德怎么办 Wait a minute. What about Richard?
管他呢 大难临头各自飞 Screw Richard! It's every man for himself!
理查德 你还好吗 Richard, are you all right?
我是理查德吗 Well, am I Richard?
对 Yes.
那就没事 Then I'm fine.
撒丫子跑路的那几个是谁 But who were those people that ran away?
咱的朋友吗 Our friends?
问倒我了 That's a good question.
我问啥了 What is?
这里没有拍摄 也没有观众 There are no takes. There is no viewer.
电影即故事 故事即我们 The film is the story. The story is us.
我们就是电影 We are the film.
你觉得怎样 So, what do you think?
我出去透透气 I need to take a walk.
我主在上 这部电影是我此生所见 Dear God, my movie is the worst piece of crap
最烂的垃圾 I have ever seen in my entire life.
我怎会被蒙蔽双眼 How could I have been so blind?
此片自恋至极 幼稚之至 It's a self-indulgent, adolescent mess.
我已不忍看下去 I can barely sit through it.
如今 世人极尽追捧之能事 And now, with all this hype,
而我手中却是平庸三俗之作 I've got a real Snakes On A Plane brewing.
批判之声会将我钉死于十字架之上 The critics are gonna crucify me.
我的事业即将夭折于摇篮中 My career will be over before it begins.
我主 如果你能听见 我知道我不配祈求 God, if you're out there, I know I don't deserve it,
但请施恩予我 but I need your help.
请将这东西带走 Please take this project away from me.
一场洪水 一颗流星 Make it rain, send a meteor,
随便怎样 求你了 Anything. Please?
现在就来 Now?
好吧 我懂 我活该至此 Okay, I get it. This is what I deserve.
我会完成它 I'll finish it up.
我是皮尔斯·霍桑的紧急联系人 Hi, I'm Pierce Hawthorne's emergency contact.
-你是来接他走的吗 -显然不是 - You're here to pick him up? - No, no.
我来是为了把我名字从那一栏里清掉的 I'm here to be removed as his emergency contact.
-稍等 -搞毛 老子还有课呢 - One second. - Hey, I got a class!
人都死哪去了 Where is everybody?
有人来接伦纳德吗 Is anyone coming to get Leonard?
没有 再没人管他了 No. Nobody comes for him anymore.
他的儿女让我们别再找他们 His kids asked us to stop calling them.
不然你以为他怎么那副德行 Why do you think he acts like that?
咱进班房了是吗 So we're in prison, right?
好吧 带他出来 All right, bring him out.
过来 皮尔斯 快点 登记一下 Over here, Pierce. Come on. Book.
去车里等着 Go wait in the car.
这事儿不怨我 It wasn't my fault.
去-车-里-等-着 Go. Wait. In. The. Car.
还改不改了 You want me to change that or not?
不改了 I guess not.
不过 等帮个忙吗 Uh, but, um, could you do me a favor?
能把布雷塔·派利添加为联系人吗 Could you add Britta Perry as a contact?
派利 P-e-r-r-y.
请你每周给她打两三次电话 And would you give her a call a couple of times a week?
她很担心他 She gets pretty worried about him.
还有 她白天上班 所以晚上打给她 And, uh, she works days, so make sure you call at night.
大家都认为你的所为注定要发生 Everyone thinks what you did was destined to happen,
恰恰证明了这部电影是上帝之作 That it was proof that God was making my movie,
优秀至极 而无法留存于世 A movie so good, it could never exist.
世人视我为天才 视你为恶棍 They think I'm a genius, and they think you're a villain.
你听到我祈祷了 You heard me praying.
不懂你在说什么 I don't know what you mean.
各位瞧好了 Oh, this is gonna be good!
阿布蒂给我发了个新链接 Abed sent me a new link,
这位老兄可是病毒视频达人 And that man knows his video virality.
这么说 你是彻底不打算教课了 So you're just gonna drop all pretense
连样子都懒得装了吗 of actually teaching us?
对 来吧 Yeah. Here we go.
和平之者受祝福 顺民得真言 Blessed be the peacemakers, word to the meek,
天堂之国永开放 The kingdom of heaven is open all week.
你拍完了我的电影 You finished my movie.
不懂你什么意思 I don't know what you mean.
我甘拜下风 You humble me.
我也甘拜下风 You humble me too.
好吧 打开课本 Okay, open your books,
因为阿布蒂把网掐了 because Abed has broken the internet.
该死 Great.
咱俩谁回家去 So which one of us is gonna head home
换身行头呢 and change?
有意思 Hilarious.
你们买了一身我的行头 So you guys bought one of my outfits
然后每天在我家门口蹲守 and then staked out my apartment
等着我哪天把它穿上吗 every day until I wore it?
实在不可悲 That's not pathetic.
好吧 Okay.
算你们狠 Good job.
我要回家换行头了 I guess I'm heading home to change now.
路上堵了 错过好戏了吗 Oh, I hit traffic. Did I miss it?
真讨厌 Damn it.