准备好领教巴士大哥的厉害了么 Ready for the bus driver, wouldn't you?
你知道我为啥江湖人称巴士大哥吧 You know why they call me the bus driver, right?
因为你一直这么穷转悠 Because you been travelin' all day?
因为我会送你的小屁屁回老家 Because I'm taking your butt to school.
好球 Nice.
不错 到我了 Cool, I'm up.
还没到你 15分才算赢 Nuh-uh. Game's to 15.
-啥时候的规定 -你得了11分的瞬间规定的 - Since when? - Since you scored 11.
对不住了阿布蒂 我得先踢了特洛伊的屁屁 Sorry, Abed, I have to finish kicking Troy's butt
才能来踢你的 Before I can get to yours.
瞧见没 全是些关于屁屁的脏话 See? All that angry talk about butts.
"踢你屁屁 踩你屁屁" "Kick your butt. Stomp your butt."
"揍你屁屁" "Punch your butt."
他们说了"揍你屁屁"么 Do they say, "Punch your butt"?
重点是 Point being
他们对彼此屁屁的那种敌意 hatred of each other's butts.
男人进行体育活动 就是为了发掘脆弱的小心肝 Men play sports so they can seek out and destroy
并将其摧毁 their own sensitivity.
以前还真没这么想过 Oh! I never thought about it that way.
你觉得咱们在女性研究课上 Do you think we'll learn about stuff like that
也能学两招不 in our women's studies class?
当然不会 Hell, no!
我们要在那课程中找回自我 We're gonna find our roots in that class.
不能再凡事以男人为准了 And stop defining our gender by theirs.
这么说好像不太和谐 Well, I feel bad saying it,
可要是能远离那帮臭男人 But it will be nice to get away from the boys
咱姐几个上一堂课也挺好的 and take a class with just us.
玉皇万岁 或者说王母万岁 Amen. Or "A-wo-men."
我领会到精神了吧 Am I right?
来击奶相庆 姐妹们 Bring it in for a boob bump, ladies.
不么 Nope?
那下次再说吧 We'll get there.
伙计们 Hey, guys.
还记得上周不 Remember last week when you were
你们弄了几辆遥控赛车玩 Playing with those remote control cars
就觉得自己宇宙第一酷 and you thought you were real cool?
事实证明 你们不行 Well, turns out you're not.
竹蜻蜓 贱人们 Draganflyer, bee-otch.
没错 四个螺旋桨 Yep, uh, four propellers.
还有内置监控镜头 It's got a built-in spy cam.
有效范围可达100码 Range, 100 yards.
这宝贝儿会把你那些破车的屁屁给压瘪 And it'll strangle your stupid cars' little butts.
-皮尔斯 我们正比赛呢 -没错 - Pierce, we're in a game. - Yeah.
而且遥控之类的已然过时了 And we're really not into R.C. Anymore.
呐尼 这可是竹蜻蜓 What? It's-- it's a draganflyer.
拜托 皮尔斯 这可是学校 Come on, Pierce, man. This is a school.
不是我干的 I can't control it.
里头坐着个小人儿呢 There's a little pilot in there.
-别玩了 皮尔斯 -螺旋桨很锋利的 - It's not funny, Pierce! - Propellers are sharp!
住手 Stop it!
眼瞎了啊 Knuckle walkers!
对不起 纯属意外 Sorry, it was an accident.
你们的雄性染色体也纯属意外 So was the "Y" Chromosome,
但我们可没拿东西砸它 But you don't see us throwing stuff at it.
你们去哪 Where you guys going?
我们去上女性研究课 Away from your symbolically invasive balls
蛋啊球啊什么的 你们自个儿玩吧 to a women's studies class.
啥女性研究课 Which women's studies class?
媒体中男女平等的表现形式 Feminist representations in media.
-我加入 -那啥 阿布蒂 - I'm in. - oh, uh, Abed,
这个似乎是只针对女生的课程 We kind of thought this would be something just for the girls.
貌似好像 Sounds like it.
我挺想了解女人的 I'd love to learn more about you.
我去换套衣服 教室见 I'll change out of my sports clothes and meet you there.
你输光光 You just lost
输呀么输光光 You just lost a game
你输勒个光 You just lost
输呀么输勒个光 You just lost a game
特洛伊最强 With Troy
愿赌不服输 Hey, sore loser.
得瑟吧你就 Yeah...proud of it.
我要求重赛 I want a rematch.
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翻译：小黛 山炮 米粒 独醉
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校对：米粒 时间轴：崽猪
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后期：鱼骨头 监制：米粒
《废柴联盟》 第二季 第七集 iTunes 720p版本调教：Tears
姐妹们 Hey, guys.
我提前来给你们占了位子 I raced here so I could save us four seats.
谢谢 阿布蒂 Thanks, abed.
不过呢...坐这么靠后 But...Annie can't see the board
安妮会看不见黑板的 From this far back.
她眼镜丢了 She lost her glasses.
我从来没见你戴过眼镜 I've never seen you wear glasses.
我平时都戴隐形的 Yeah, I usually wear contacts,
可是找不到了 因为框架的丢了 But I couldn't find them... without my glasses.
反正我戴眼镜的 Which I wear.
行行行 Cool-cool-cool.
咱们是不是太坏了 Are we bad people?
不会 我喜欢阿布蒂 No. I love abed.
可这孩子有时候听不懂暗示啊 But sometimes he can't take a hint.
我们都说了 这是只针对女生的 We told him-- this is a girl thing.
不好意思 'scuse me.
这是我们的位子 We were gonna sit there.
不好意思 我们不知道 Oh, uh, sorry. We didn't know.
可我们既然已经坐了 那... But now we're sitting here, so...
那就麻烦了 That's the problem.
你不会真指望 You don't seriously expect us to get up
我们会为了你们换位子吧 And change seats for you?
要是你坐后面点 Well, if you're further in back,
就没那么多人看到你那满头杂草了 Less people will see your roots.
我勒个...你说啥我没听清 Um...excuse me?
就像你也没看清自己嘴上的小胡子吗 Oh, the way you excuse your little moustache hairs?
这样吧 Uh, you know what?
我们是好人 We're good people.
所以我们去找别的位子 So we will find seats elsewhere.
这就是传说的高风亮节 It's called the high road.
找个沙龙整整自己的毛吧 I hope it leads to a salon.
你们回来了 You're back.
我以前见过她们 领头那个叫梅根 I've seen 'em before. The leader's name is Meghan.
瞧这名字 咋会有人给自己孩子起名叫霉根啊 Of course! Why name your daughter Meghan?
怕不够霉了好拿她来补充霉源么 Are you stocking up for a bitch shortage?
哪个是梅根 Which one's Meghan?
腋窝底下漏个洞来释放狐臭那个 The one with the hole in her sweater's armpit,
还是衣服紧得把肥膘都挤到胳膊肘的那个 Or the one whose tight sleeves are pushing her fat toward her elbows?
不 那几个是她的跟班 No, those are her cronies.
那梅根就是那个招风耳大饼脸咯 So Meghan's the one with the crooked ears and no angles?
犀利 Ha! Damn.
不好意思 我说太狠了吗 Sorry, I over-described again?
完全没有 阿布蒂 Oh, no, Abed.
想咋形容就咋形容 Describe those girls all you want.
对了 话说你午餐有啥打算 Yeah. In fact, what are you doing for lunch?
今天是周三 我有时候在杰夫的车里吃 It's wednesday. Sometimes I eat in Jeff's car.
别告诉他啊 Don't tell him.
特洛伊 人呢 Troy, where are you?
你就那么怕重赛 至于跑这么远吗 You would go this far to avoid a rematch?
杰夫 Jeff!
这是嘛玩意儿啊 What is this thing?
以我的职业直觉 In my line of work,
这是一个价值百万美刀的伤害诉讼 a multimillion dollar injury suit.
我以为学校早就不要这些东西了 I thought schools got rid of these things.
格林德尔竟然还保留着 I can't believe greendale allows it.
格林德尔没保留 Greendale doesn't.
所以得藏着掖着 That's why it's hidden.
有别人看到你们进来吗 Who else saw you come in?
如果我们说没人看到 If we say nobody,
你会用园艺剪刀把我们都咔嚓掉吗 Are you doing to stab us with your bush scissors?
当然不会 Of course not.
我是约书亚 I'm Joshua.
这是一个世外桃源 And this is a place of peace and balance.
一个修身养性之地 A place of nourishment.
一个没有黑暗的国度 A place free from darkness.
就因为这有一个蹦床吗 Because there's a trampoline?
站在这上面实在是太美妙了 杰夫 There is something cool about being up here, Jeff.
我是说 一开始我就是蹦蹦 然后... I mean, at first I was just jumping, but then...
然后你就颠了起来 but then you started bouncing...
如同女神膝下的婴儿 Like a baby on the knee of a goddess.
对 Yes!
太对了 Yes.
杰夫 快上来试试 Jeff, get on.
一次只能一个人 Ah, one at a time, please.
我得说清楚这里的两条规矩 I must as you to adhere to two simple principles.
首先 要想保留这迦南美地 First, for this place to survive,
你们必须保密 It must stay secret.
第二点 And second...
禁止双人跳 No double bounces.
双脚张开与肩齐宽 Feet shoulder width apart.
屈膝 Knees bent.
放松的呼吸吧 And just breathe.
弹跳达到最高点时 会有那么一瞬间 At the apex of each bounce there is a moment,
你会感到神游于时空之外 妙不可言 Outside of time, outside of words...
万物皆浮云 Outside of everything.
寂静而又完美的瞬间 A perfect moment. A silent moment.
我称其为"呢喃物语" I call it the world's whisper.
哇哦 太对了 Wow...you're right.
我竟然承认你是对的 And I don't mind admitting you're right,
太诡异了 Which is weird.
在这上面才三十秒 我已经感受到... 30 seconds on this thing, and I already feel--
杰夫 Jeff...
你已经蹦跶一个小时了 You've been up there for an hour.
阿布蒂 来损损穿粉衣服的女孩 Okay, Abed, girl in the pink--go.
她的额头太突出 Her forehead hangs over,
都可以挡雨了 her head like a canopy.
她裤腰带少了个扣环 She missed a belt loop,
小肚子都快爆炸了 and her stomach spills over her shorts.
-目标被摧毁 -很爽很残酷 - Target destroyed. - What brutality.
就叫她松饼脑袋 觉得怎样 It's called a muffin top, abed.
像松饼 有才 Like a muffin? Clever.
你们不是说背后嚼人舌根很缺德吗 But you guys said it's rude to focus on imperfections.
这些话是不是不应该讲啊 This the stuff I'm supposed to filter, right?
理论上没错 Absolutely, Abed.
但听你损某些姑娘 It's just kind of a guilty pleasure
我们会有种愧疚的快感 to hear it about... certain girls.
比如梅根和她的朋友 因为她们都是贱人 Like Meghan and her friends, because they're bitches.
太爽了 你们有人要汽水吗 That's nice. Uh, who needs a soda?
我去拿吧 你们难得被我逗的这么乐呵 I'll get it-- I'm making you guys so happy,
我得再接再厉 I want to keep it going.
我爱死阿布蒂了 Okay, I love Abed so much.
我懂 小妮子太可人了 I know, it's like he's one of the girls.
姑娘们 Uh, guys.
你看够了没 Yeah, do you mind not looking at me?
不知道 你脸妆画太过了 I don't know, do you mind that your face makeup
跟脖子一点也不搭 doesn't match your neck?
扎眼一看 还以为是小丑呢 When I squint, you look like a circus clown.
你搞什么 山炮 Okay, I beg your pardon, geek...
姐姐我压根不认识你 I don't even know your peanut-headed ass.
没错 咱没见过 You're right, we've never met.
就跟你没用过去屑洗发水一样 Like your hair and dandruff shampoo.
梅根悲剧 好戏开场 Hoo hoo! Filet of Meghan, service for one.
阿布蒂 咱还是回去吧 Okay, Abed, let's get back to the table.
没错 快跟她们回乡下老家吧 Yeah, Abed. Go with your skank.
或者你继续骂吧 随你 Or keep going. Up to you.
说啥 说她那俩不对称的胸垫吗 Keep going about what, her uneven bra padding?
看着就跟一边塞了柠檬 另一边塞椰子似的 You look like you're smuggling a lime and a coconut.
滚开 你个傻蛋 Go away, loser.
说得好 只可惜你的内裤开线了 Good one--tell that to the stitching on your ratty panties,
好歹得穿条高腰裤子遮一下吧 Or wear higher jeans on laundry day.
我扛不住了 Damn, that diss made me snarf, yo!
你给我记住了 你死定了 You know what? You're dead.
罗圈妹 You're bowlegged.
走好不送哈 Bye. See ya.
格林德尔的女人们 Women of Greendale!
这个食堂里再没有贱人了 This cafeteria has been declared a bitch-free zone!
我此时此刻感觉实在妙极 Can't tell you how great I feel right now.
我一开始不确定你能感受到蹦床之美 I wasn't sure that you would take to the trampoline's ways.
很多人都不行 Some can't.
而有些人生来就会蹦跶 And some are just natural jumpers.
明天见 约书亚 See you tomorrow, Joshua.
我们得走了 We better bounce.
bounce: 起身/蹦
她叫夏丽思 That's Sharice.
我上学年和她一起上社会学 I had sociology with her last year.
她说我走起来像个爷们儿 She told me I walk like a dude.
太恶劣了 阿布蒂 你有什么点子 That's awful! Abed, you got anything?
我打算从她的裤子着口开骂 I might have something to say about those jeans she's wearing.
但是你们确定这样做对吗 But you guys are sure it's not bad?
对敌人的仁慈就是对自己的残忍 Bad isn't that bad when you're doing it to bad girls.
而你一口铁齿铜牙不能浪费了 Yeah, and you're really good at it.
钢牙机器人 You're like a machine.
-就像是机械战警吗 -像极了划艇警察 - Like robocop. - Exactly like rowboat cop.
robo/机器人音同rowboat/划艇
夏丽思就是那艘破船 沉了她 Sharice is a bad rowboat. Sink her.
明白 Affirmative.
定位系统: 在线
太难看了 丑死了 They're bad. - bad.
你们想不想一会儿学习结束了 Hey...you dudes ready to shoot the rock
去打球啊 after study group?
我来收拾收拾你俩的屁屁 I'm gonna slit your butt's throats.
接得好 废人们 Nice catch, losers.
捡回来啊 Go get it.
抱歉 皮尔斯 Sorry, Pierce.
我们对篮球没兴趣了 We're not really into basketball anymore.
啥 What?
你们俩怎么了 What's up with you guys?
你们这是演的哪一出啊 Why are you acting like that?
怎么了 Like what?
同志靴啊 Ah! Gay boots!
娘们儿靴 Lady boots!
他终于出柜了 He's a gaywad.
穿起来舒服吗 Are those as comfortable as they look?
就跟踏着梦一样 They're like wearing a pair of dreams.
不过我猜你的鞋也挺好 I'm sure your shoes are fine, though.
猜怎么着 You know what?
确实挺好 They are.
你俩有猫腻儿 Something's up with you two,
我得把这事搞清楚 And I want to know what it is.
抽大麻了? Are you on weed?
给我来点 让你们见识下啥叫大烟枪 Give me some--I'll smoke you two under the table.
感觉爽呆了 Oh, man, I feel so good.
感觉就像是咱扫黄打黑小分队 It's like the whole campus is a gutter
终于把那些人渣清干理净了 and we're just spraying it clean.
阿布蒂 我想请你陪我去趟银行 Abed, I may need you to come to the bank with me
跟坐在四号窗口的某位好好聊聊 to have words with a certain something at window four.
让他们落花流泪 We'll take 'em down.
让他们泪流不止血流成河 We'll take all these bitches down.
你们还好吗 Ladies, are you okay?
平和点 Take it easy.
怎么 你想命令我们吗 Um, did you just tell us what to do?
都听着 Here's the thing.
规矩说清楚 It's a little rule.
也许你没咋听说过 Maybe you're not familiar with it.
谁都别想命令我 Nobody tells me what to do--ever.
表激动 我投降 Whoa, whoa, cowboy. I surrender.
阿布蒂 你听见没 Abed, did you hear that?
-纳入目标? -对 - Jeff a bitch too? - Yes.
-弄死他 -好 - Take him down. - Cool.
杰夫 你靴子咋回事 Hey, Jeff, what's with the boots?
靴子它妈在2008年喊它回家吃饭呢 2008 called to tell you that, even in 2008,
-让它别跟这丢人了 -一针见血 - those were tacky. - oh, you go, girl!
屌 Daaamn.
伙计们 Why don't we just all
咱们一起深呼吸 冥想吧 take a deep breath and... find some center.
受不了了 Okay, that is it!
你到底背着我们干啥了 What are you hiding from me?
他们有个秘密放松基地 They're keeping relaxation secrets.
赶紧告诉哥 Tell me how to get this laid back,
否则我杀你全家 or I'll kill your families!
太没劲了 Okay, this place is lame.
姑娘们 阿布蒂 Girls, Abed.
回见了 Toodles.
我可盯着你俩呢 I'm watching you two.
死盯一整年 24, 2010.
盯死你俩不放松 These balls on your butts.
饭前蹦两下? Quick bounce before lunch?
必须的 Absolutely.
我去查探一下 防止皮尔斯盯梢 Let me just make sure that Pierce isn't hovering around.
安全 Coast is clear.
小宝贝看见啥了 What did you see, my pretty?
等等 Wait.
后退 后退 定格 Back, back--freeze it.
能放大一点吗 往上 Can you blow that up a little? Enhance.
往上 Enhance.
停 就这个 Stop! That's it.
放大 Blow it up.
如何从间谍摄像机中下载照片
就是这个 There it is.
不好意思 姐们 Um, excuse me, girls.
这是我们的位子 You're sitting in our seats.
等等 你说什么 I'm sorry. What did you say?
没成想您还耳背啊 Oh! I didn't know you were deaf.
光看衣服 还以为你就是眼瞎而已呢 I suspected you were blind from the outfit.
回见了您 Toodles.
不送哈 See ya.
等等 Wait a minute.
你们干嘛欺负人 她们惹你们了吗 Why were you mean to them? Did they insult you?
没有 不过那身衣裳有碍观瞻 No, but that top insulted our retinas.
说的好 Go, girl.
对敌人的仁慈就是对自己的残忍 Bad isn't that bad when you're doing it to bad girls.
类别: 贱人
安妮 你笑起来像猪猡 Annie, when you laugh like that, you snort like a piglet.
-说话悠着点 -你的皮肤也悠着点 - Careful, Abed. - Be careful with your skin.
脸浮肿成这副模样 Your face is so puffy right now,
眼睛都像是缝上去的扣子 your eyes look like sewn-on buttons.
你得去门边好好反省一下 阿布蒂 You need to check that attitude at the door, Abed.
你进门之前 You need to check the door
还得看看门够不够大呢 雪瑞 before you go through it, shirley.
你说啥 What? What?
阿布蒂 你不能跟我们倒戈 Abed, you cannot talk to us that way.
总得有人站出来 你们都成贱人了 Someone has to. You guys are being bitches.
我们才不是 We're not bitches!
闹着玩而已 We were just joking.
如果这都算贱人 还有谁不是贱人 If that makes us bitches, we're all bitches.
说的好 安妮 That's a good point, Annie.
编码新数据
那当然 You told him.
同意 你们都是贱人 Affirmative. You're all bitches.
衣服不错 要是给女人穿就更好了 Nice shirt. It would look better on a girl.
抹点粉底 Pick a bronzer.
别想拿创可贴蒙我们 明明就是青春痘 You're not fooling us with that band-aid--we knew it's a zit.
都是贱人 贱人三人组 You're all bitches. Triple bitches.
贱人 贱人 贱人 Bitch, bitch, bitch.
好啊 贱人 贱 你也贱 Hey, bitch. Bitch. You bitch.
我贱你贱大家贱 I'm a bitch. You're a bitch.
皮尔斯 Pierce!
你怎么找到我们的 How did you find us?
竹蜻蜓 贱人 Draganflyer, bee-otch.
这就是惊天大秘密吗 So this is the big secret, huh?
你俩单独溜出来 You two sneak out here and hang out
在这个娘炮蹦床上蹦跶? on the big, gay trampoline.
小点声 皮尔斯 Lower your voice, Pierce.
这是我们的秘密桃花源 This is our place of peace.
没错 现在也有老子一份 Yes. And now it's mine too.
老子的 Mine.
不赖啊 Oh, this is great!
再高点 I wanna go higher!
皮尔斯 拜托 Pierce...please...
不是这么跳 You're doing it all wrong.
再高点 I wanna go higher!
特洛伊 上来跟我双人跳 Troy, get up here and double bounce me.
这样不行 That's not how we do things here.
赶紧给老子上来双人跳 You get up here and double bounce me,
否则我就把这破地方大白天下 Or I'll tell everybody about this place!
快点 Come on!
上帝作证 我要微博满天下 God is my witness, I will tweet it!
快来双人跳 Double bounce me!
你为啥要这样 Why are you doing this?
双人跳 赶紧的 Double bounce me! Do it!
皮尔斯 够了 Pierce, that's enough.
我恨你 I hate you.
我恨你 I hate you!
双人跳 Double bounce me!
天父在上 Father...
俺的腿 My legs! Ohh!
俺的腿 Oh, my legs, I--
里头有非法蹦床 Illegal trampoline!
那里头有个非法蹦床 They have an illegal trampoline back there!
黑牛仔 不错啊 迈克尔·潘[歌手] Whoa, black jeans? Nice try, Michael Penn.
刘海遮不住 前额凸出来 Those bangs aren't covering anything, five-head.
裤脚卷边 毛衣起球 鱼尾纹 Pegged jeans. Sweater balls. Crows feet.
背上的毛长成了颈毛 What's it called when your back hair
接着又长成了头发叫什么 grows into your neck hair grows into your regular hair?
去查查吧 你就是这德行 Look it up, because you have it.
不错 是谁告诉你如何做果汁盒的 Nice. Who taught you how to be a juice box?
别担心 我来和解的 Don't worry. I come in peace.
你用的这款医用香波 And whatever medicated shampoo you're using
似乎效果不错 seems to be doing the trick.
你到底想做什么 What do you want?
让一切回归原位 To restore the natural order.
这些是什么 What are these?
毁灭代码 Destruct codes.
似乎太绝了 Well, that seems a little excessive.
约书亚 Joshua.
我们到处找你 We were looking for you all over.
你去哪里 Where you going?
我被炒了 走人呗 I got fired. I'm leaving.
约书亚 真是对不起 Joshua, we are so sorry.
不用道歉 Don't apologize.
本来就是我的错 It's my fault.
相信黑人就该有这下场吧 Guess that's what I get for trusting some black guy.
啥 What?
你发现蹦床的时候 When you found the trampoline,
为了保住秘密 只好让你玩儿了 I thought the only way to protect it was to let you use it.
看来还是证实了我已知的真理 Guess it goes to prove what I already knew:
"非白"毁灭一切 Non-whites ruin everything.
我的天 Oh, my god.
约书亚居然搞种族歧视 Joshua was racist.
而且一点预示都没有 That came out of nowhere.
真没有吗 Did it?
一个没有黑暗的国度 A place free from darkness.
有些人天生会蹦跶 And some are just natural jumpers.
最后的图案是个迷宫 It's going to be a maze.
可能我只是不愿去相信吧 Maybe I just didn't want to believe it.
也许这就是教训 Maybe that's the lesson here.
远离尘嚣的纯净 Purity that demands exclusion...
不是真正的纯净 isn't real purity.
也许天堂是个谎言 Maybe paradise is a lie.
不一定哦 Not exactly.
天堂是存在的 Paradise exists.
就在这里 Right here.
开天辟地头一遭 他是对的 For once... he's actually right.
我请你吃冰淇淋吧 Let me buy you some ice cream.
作为白皮鬼 内疚感在我心中翻江倒海 My white guilt is doing somersaults.
值了 Worth it.
啊 天堂 Ahh, paradise.
你 马脖子 Hey! Horse-neck.
会不会穿衣服啊 So... what's with the clothes?
小屁孩 妈妈帮你穿衣服时没开灯吧 I mean, you look like a toddler who got dressed in the dark.
够屌 Aww, snap!
看好戏吧 各位 Here it comes, y'all!
瞅瞅你这尊容 Look at your face.
你的蜥蜴老妈被青蛙木偶强奸了才生下你吧 It's like your mom was a lizard who got raped by a muppet.
这句妙语将你带到了"尸字头"的新境界 And that burn was brought to you by the letter "S,"
屌得不得了 As in snap!
怎么了 What?
受伤到无力还击了 Too hurt to respond?
对了 Uhh! That's right.
你根本就没有感情 You don't have feelings.
我们这些人都是以已为羞 See, the rest of us feel ashamed of ourselves,
所以我们才武装成贱人让自己好受些 so we act like bitches to make ourselves feel better.
你扮贱却是为了融入人群 But you did it to fit in.
可惜无论你多努力 And no matter how hard you try,
你永远都融不进 you never will.
屌 屌 Snap. Snap!
屌屌屌屌 Snap! Snap! Snap! Snap!
认输吧 太屌了 Give it up! Ooh! Ooh! Snap! Snap!
定位系统: 离线
阿布蒂 你还好吧 Abed, are you okay?
太残忍了 That was so cruel.
我罪有应得 I deserved it.
我本来就不该对任何人无礼的 I should have never been mean to anybody,
尤其是你们 least of all you guys.
我很努力地融入 但越界太远 I was trying so hard to fit in that I took it too far.
越界的是我们 We took it too far.
我们自己变成了贱人 We became the kind of women that we hate,
而且把你变成了恶魔 and we turned you into a monster.
对别人的体重说三道四的恶魔 The kind of monster that makes outlandish statements about someone's weight.
这种话很伤人 Those kind of things hurt.
瞎说的也很伤人 Even when they're not true.
都是我们缺乏安全感造成的 And all because we were insecure.
人人都如此 Everyone is.
就算是汤姆·克鲁斯也知道自己又矮又疯 Even Tom Cruise knows he's short and nuts.
我们于己于人都是上天的恩惠 We're at the mercy of each other and ourselves.
所以对己对人都要有宽恕之心 That's why there has to be forgiveness on both sides.
阿布蒂 Aww... Abed...
上帝啊 皮尔斯怎么了 Oh, my goodness. What happened to Pierce?
说来话长 Long story.
男人就这德行 Men.
是的 Yeah.
见鬼 皮尔斯 消停下好吧 Damn it, Pierce, will you knock it off?
我跟你说了 不是我干的 I told you, I'm not controlling it.
有个小人坐里面呢 There's a little man inside.
-你好 -皮尔斯 - Hi. - Pierce!
听着 皮尔斯 我希望你知道 Listen, I wanted to let you know, Pierce,
超量服药是没有问题滴 it's okay to exceed the recommended daily dosage.
别让其他人动摇你的想法 And don't let anybody tell you different!
谁负责确认他没有磕药过量 Who's going to be in charge of making sure he doesn't o.D.?
咋了 咋了 What? What--
咱什么时候开始用这招的 When did we start doing that?
三 二 一 Three two one.
特洛伊和阿布蒂的早间报道 Troy and Abed in the mornin'.
欢迎回来 这位是格林德尔动物专家 星霸 And we're back with Greendale's resident animal expert, Star-burns.
我叫亚历克斯 My name's Alex.
星霸和他的宠物龟雪莉一起来到直播间 Star-burns joins us with his pet turtle, Shelly.
据说雪莉一天可以吃掉超过五只老鼠 Now, I understand Shelly can eat over five mice a day.
-真了不起 -乌龟不吃老鼠 - That's impressive. - Turtles don't eat mice.
-那它们吃什么 -我不知道 - What do they eat? - I don't know.
药丸? 不清楚 Pellets? I have no idea.
-真失望 -不太好 - That's disappointing. - That's not good.
这到底是咋回事 Look, what is going on here?
我正为经济学期中考做准备 I was studying for my econ midterm.
你们走进来 递给我这只龟 You guys walk in, you hand me this turtle,
然后告诉我要冲着观众微笑 and then you tell me to smile for the folks at home.
哪门子的观众 What folks at home?
星霸同学 Star-burn...
这东西会把沙门氏菌传染给我的 These things give you salmonella, you know.
加瑞会为大家播报未来的天气情况 Let's go to Gary with a check on the weather.
依旧阳光明媚 It's still sunny!