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有人知道纸模型需要多久能干吗 Does anyone know how long it takes papier-mache to dry?
比邓肯想出这个糟烂作业 Three hours longer than it took Duncan
要多花三个小时 to think up this assignment.
我认为他会很赞赏我们做的额外功课 I think he's really gonna appreciate the extra work
把进化图表加长了 we did expanding our evolutionary chart.
布雷塔 你能把人类最后的进化阶段拿好吗 Oh, Britta, can you hold up the final stage of humanity?
我还是觉得人类会进化成女人 I still think that man is going to evolve into woman,
而不是有三条腿的怪兽恐龙 not dragon monster with three legs.
那是腿吗 Three legs?
做的挺像的 Well, it's been real--
至少那股面糊味儿很真实 at least the paste smell has--
但我还要赶去约会佳人 But I've a date to catch.
或者说 有佳人相约 Or should I say a catch to date.
笑话冷得好有技术含量 Oof, hope you just come up with that.
当心 院长驾到 Look out! Drive-by deaning!
开玩笑 Kidding.
我只是善意的提醒大家 Just a non-violent verbal reminder.
本地的宠物收容所今天下午会进行宠物大游行 The local shelter is having a puppy parade this afternoon.
我想舔舔那小狗 Oh! I want to lick it.
我希望你们都要来参与哦 I expect all of you to lend a paw.
除了你 杰夫瑞 Except you, Jeffrey.
我知道你有佳人相约 I know you've got a catch to date.
看啥 你来一个有技术含量的啊 Oh, like you're famous for your wit.
宠物大游行 Puppy parade?
哥要参加 I am in.
我想看看那些腊肠狗是生出来就那样 Want to see if those wiener dogs are born that way,
还是后天变成腊肠样的 or if they startff normal and then get wiener.
阿布蒂 你拿我的笔了吗 Abed, did you pick up my pen?
紫色有胶皮防滑垫的 It's a purple pen with a gel grip.
没看见 最近我只用自动铅笔 Nope. I'm strictly mechanical pencils these days.
同种相吸吗 More relatable?
刚刚还在的 It was just here.
还好吧 安妮 吃巧克力吗 You okay, Annie? Chocolate?
需要我把你推到游行现场吗 皮尔斯 Would you like me to push you to the parade, Pierce?
不用 谢谢 Oh, no, thanks.
我不想让别人以为我是残疾人 I don't want people think of me as a handicap.
其实 这个轮椅让我行动更加自如 If anything, this chair makes me more than a human.
轻轻一吹就能动 You move it by blowing into this, uh, tube here.
这机器可是最贵的 It's the most expensive one.
我出价高过其他三个医院才得到这宝贝 I outbid three hospitals for this baby,
物超所值啊 and it was worth every penny.
等等 大家先等等 Wait! Please just wait.
抱歉 但是我要知道谁动了我的笔 I'm sorry, but I need to know who took my pen.
抱歉 我没看见 Sorry, I don't see it.
是啊 对不住 安妮 Yeah, sorry, Annie.
不行 No!
一句对不起就完了吗 Not "Sorry, Annie."
已然丢了八支了 我忍不了了 We passed "Sorry, annie" eight pens ago!
我带一支 你们就拿一支 I keep bringing pens, and you guys keep taking them,
生可忍 熟我也不忍了 And I'm afraid I am putting my foot down.
好吧 Okay.
既然安妮已经把话挑明了 Well, now, Annie has made it clear that this is an issue,
那么从现在起 我们要尊重她的东西 so from now on, we need to be more respectful of her things.
-好吗 好的 -好咧 - Okay? Okay. - Cool.
翻译：大卫熊 夕橙 山炮 小九
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校对：米粒 时间轴：崽猪
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后期：鱼骨头 监制：米粒
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好吧 不在地板上 All right, it's not on the floor,
-不管是谁不小心 -才不是不小心 - So whoever accidentally took-- - Not accidentally!
"不小心"不会一次又一次的发生的 Accidents don't just happen over and over and over again, okay?
又不是幼儿园小孩了 This isn't budget daycare.
好吧 不管哪个没良心 挨千刀的 Okay, whoever insidiously and with great malice aforethoug
偷走了安妮的笔 abducted Annie's pen,
赶紧滚出来认错 忏悔并交还 我们好走人 confess, repent, and relinquish so we can leave.
说不定没人偷 Maybe nobody took it.
有时候我以为我弄丢了很重要的东西 Sometimes I think I lost something really important to me,
结果发现东西被我吃了 and it turns out I already ate it.
我没吃自己的笔 特洛伊 I didn't eat my pen, Troy.
我知道我带来了 现在却没了 I know I broughtt, and now it's gone.
我有照片为证 I took a photo.
看吧 Aha!
我放大一下 Aha. I'm zooming.
看见没 看见没 See? See?
我十分钟前拍了这张照片 I took this ten minutes ago.
我的笔就在桌子上 My pen was on the table.
之后没有人进出 No one has come in or out since.
凶手就在你们中间 One of you has my pen right now.
安妮 Annie.
一支笔而已 It's a pen.
不只是一支笔 It's not a pen!
这叫原则 It's a principle.
抱歉 我拿口香糖的时机不好 Not a good time to get a stick of gum. Okay.
我们还去不去宠物大游行了 Are we going to the puppy parade or not?
这么整下去估计本集就这一个场景了 Because this is starting to feel like a bottle episode.
又一次扯到电视上了 Again with the tv crap.
肉丸小子 你是不是拿了安妮的笔 Hey, meatball, did you take Annie's pen
班尼·希尔 英国喜剧大师
想让生活更像是班尼·希尔的作品 to make life more like Benny Hill or whatever you do?
阿布蒂 Abed?
才不会 我讨厌小成本制作的剧集 I wouldn't do that. I hate bottle episodes.
里面充斥着各种表情和微妙的情感 They're wall-to-wall facial expression and emotional nuance.
我还不如坐在角落 头上戴个大桶呢 I might as well sit in the corner with a bucket on head.
我还有个摄影作业要完成 Well, I have a photography project to finish,
我祖母颤悠悠的手 And my grandmother's hands
没人帮忙 可拍不出特写镜头 aren't going to take close-ups of themselves.
后会有期了 Hasta la later.
你刚刚那声是冲我来的吗 Was that "Hmm" directed at me?
谁心虚就冲谁 If the "Hmm" fits.
安妮 我没拿你的笔 I don't have your pen, Annie.
我总是借你文具 I'm always lending you supplies.
你总是什么都不带 You never come prepared.
你要是这么小心眼 给你 我的笔 If it's important to you, here, have my pen.
明明是我的笔 That's my pen.
随便你们 Well, whatever, people.
不就是个物件嘛 They're just things.
既然只是物件而已 Since they're just things,
我想你不会介意 I don't suppose you'd mind letting us
我们简单翻看你包里装了什么吧 take a quick look-see inside your bag?
我很介意 安妮 Oh, I'd very much mind, Annie.
不管多简单都是侵犯公民的权利 There's no such thing as a "Quick" invasion of civil liberties.
太假了 Oh, man.
最开始都是说简单看看包里面装的是什么 Oh, it all starts with a quick look-see into someone's bag
之后就是要略微的看看我们的通话记录 and then it's a brisk peeka-roony at our phone records,
著名小说 讲述政府控制人民 思想警察是小说中的人物
在你说出《1984》之前 思想警察 and before you can say "1984," the thought police
就会逼迫你们趴下 劈开腿 are forcy-worcing you to bend and spread.
趴下 劈开腿 Bend and spread?
思想警察会和我们做爱吗 Are the thought police gonna make love to us?
他们从菊花里抓思想吗 Do they find thoughts in our butts?
我就说我应该看看那本书嘛 I knew I should have read that book.
布雷塔 别想用宪法当做挡箭牌 Britta, stop using the constitution as a baby blanket.
上周 她违反了信息自由法 Last week, she invoked the freedom of information act
要了我的笔记拿去影印 to request photocopies of my notes.
说得好 That's pretty good.
我要活得奔放 要你们管 Well, excuse me for living free.
承认吧 僵僵女 我们都知道笔在你包里 Come on, stoney, we all know the pen's in your bag!
-是啊 拿出来吧 -来吧 倒出来 - Yeah! Come on! - Come on, dump it.
高兴了吗 Happy?
如果那是用过的棉签我可高兴不起来 Not if that's a used q-tip.
-恶心 -哦 - Eww. - Oh!
-倒胃 -没错 倒胃 - Gross. - Yes, gross.
没有自由的国度就是这么倒胃 Welcome to the gross business of martial law.
欢迎来到这个曾经的个性的天堂 Welcome to what used to be individuality,
现在却被胆小的群体思想所桎梏 瓦解 seized and disintegrated by cowardly groupthink.
欢迎 朋友们 欢迎来到暴政世界 Welcome, my friends! Welcome to the machine!
安妮 看来你错了 Well, Annie, it looks like you were wrong.
布雷塔上学还是带东西 Britta does come prepare for one thing.
一带就是六个 Or six.
-周末夜疯狂啊 -还行吧 - Big weekend? - Can't complain.
浪荡之夜啊 Razzle pzazzle.
注意 同学们 Attention, students!
院子里的宠物游行就要开始啦 The puppy parade is starting on the quad!
要来都赶紧的 Better come quick.
随着时间的流逝 小狗们会越长越大 With every passing moment, these puppies grow older
也就越来越不惹人爱了 and less deserving of our attention.
你们这些家伙准备去哪里 Where do you people think you're going?
你有没有试过 Uh, have you ever gone
中途闯进宠物游行 布雷塔 to a puppy parade halfway through, Britta?
没劲透了 It is pointless.
那肯定是你偷的笔 Then you clearly stole the pen.
爱国者法案可是黑白通杀 The Patriot Act cuts both ways.
其实只杀黑人 Acally, it pretty one-sided.
个人看法而已 That's kind of point.
那我来说说我的看法 Here my point,
偷笔的就在咱们中间 whoever the pen thief is just stood here
目睹着我被严刑逼问 and watched me get Guantanamoed.
我很想知道到底是谁 And I'd like to know who it is,
这样我就可以告诉他/她 so I can let them know that
我再也不会相信他/她了 they have lost my trust forever.
算是换不了场景了 It's a bottle episode.
布雷塔 我们很抱歉让你难堪了 Britta, we're sorry we embarrassed you
还看到了你的避孕装备 and looked at your prophylactic equipment.
你的浪荡生活与我们无干 Your lifestyle mistakes are none of our business.
多谢啊 雪瑞 Oh, thanks, Shirley.
那就让我们翻翻你的卫生棉条和钱包 But now let's rustle through your tampons and wallet
这样我们也能向你道个歉 so we can apologize to you.
我想大家都知道不会是我偷的 Oh, I'm sure everybody here knows that I don't steal.
你有检查过你的包吗 雪瑞 Have you checked your bag, Shirley?
如果你不小心拿错了 我会原谅你的 If you took it by mistake, I forgive you.
这么说如果是我拿的 就是盗窃 Oh, so if I took it, it's larceny,
要是你在老母鸡那里找到 就是弄错了 but if you find it under mother hen, it's a mistake.
老母鸡 咱们是同龄人吧 Mother hen? I think we're about the same age.
当然 除非时间是线性的 Sure, unless time is linear.
我要把你的屁股踢成线性的 I'll make your ass linear.
你这句话毫无道理 That doesn't make any sense.
踢完你就懂了 I will make ya ass sense.
姑娘们 别耍花拳绣腿了 Girls, don't get your panties puckered.
我们都心知肚明 We all know what we're really thinking.
如果 我是说如果 If--and I mean if--
犯罪者就在我们中间 the culprit is among us,
从统计学上讲 肯定是特洛伊 Statistically speaking, it's Troy.
指早期种族歧视
是 要是1856年我们肯定都这么想 Yes, we were all just thinking that in 1856.
1856年 1856.
会不会是鬼偷的 What if a ghost took the pen?
-请宽恕他吧 -为啥 - Please forgive him. - For what?
为了盗窃铅笔 笨蛋 For stealing the pen, dummy.
我干吗要拿她的笔呢 Why would I take her pen?
我自己都懒得拿笔 I don't even like having my own.
也许就藏在皮尔斯的某个假腿下面呢 It's probably under one of Pierce's casts.
他四处拿东西蹭痒 He uses everything itch his legs.
这都用上第三个遥控器了 We're on our third DVD remote.
如果是我拿了 我会承认的 If I took the pen, I'd say so.
你可能是忘了呢 You probably forgot.
你吃止疼药吃得噼里啪啦的 You've been popping painkillers like tic-tacs.
哦 对了 Oh, yeah, right.
副作用 语言障碍 "Side effects: verbal dysphasia
老头子已经开始胡言乱语了
失语症 and octopus loss."
这小松鼠身上可没提到记忆减退 特洛伊 I don't see anything on this squirrel about memory, Troy.
现在我也想知道是谁拿了 Now I want to know who has it.
装挺像 雪瑞 Yeah, nice try Shirley,
但你也逃不了嫌疑 that doesn't take you off the list.
杰夫 你是老大 Jeff, you're in charge.
我要求你来处理 I demand you deal with this.
没什么好处理的 There's nothing to deal with.
我同意 I'll say.
好了 好了 Ok, alright, alright.
都深呼吸一下 Everyone breathe.
-知道这算什么事儿吗 -知道 - You know what this is? - Yep.
闭嘴 这是平平常常的一天 Shut up. This is a normal day
一群朋友结束了学习 with a bunch of friends who are done studying
而一支笔不慎滚丢了 and a pen that maybe rolled away.
-滚丢了 -或是掉进谁的鞋里了 - "Rolled away"? - Or fell down someone's shoe.
-那么大家检查鞋子 -安妮 - Let's check shoes. - Annie!
好吧 好吧 Fine, fine.
这房间里的某人藏着你的笔 Someone in this room is hiding your pen.
想知道为什么吗 Want to know why?
他/她很自责 They feel terrible.
他/她犯了个错误 They made a mistake.
已经过了主动承认的时机了 They waited too long come forward,
这会心里翻江倒海 and now they feel bad.
活该 They should.
好了 那么 偷笔贼 Okay. Okay, so, pen thief,
我们理解你 we understand what happened,
我们会原谅你 and we forgive you.
-只要你认罪并道歉 -对 - If you confess and apologize! - Yes.
好的 妙计来了 Right. But here's the trick.
现在坦白从宽已经没有后顾之忧了 Because this person now has no reason not to come forward,
万一 我数到了三 If, by some chance, I get to the count of three,
还没人出来供认 你们猜怎么着 and nobody comes forward, guess what.
咱就认了 就当它人间蒸发了 好吗 We have to accept that no one has the pen, don't we?
好不好 Don't we?
很好 那么我们开始 Good so here we go.
一 One.
二 Two.
皮尔斯 你有话要跟我们讲吗 Pierce, you have something to tell us?
对 是我多疑呢 Yes. Is it me,
还是很显然是杰夫拿了笔 or has it become really obvious that Jeff took the pen?
-对啊 -绝对的 - Yes! - Definitely.
你们敢打赌么 你们这些混蛋 You want to make a bet, you jerks?
一级禁闭 阿布蒂 把门封上 Lockdown! Abed, seal the doors.
笔在人在 笔亡人亡 Nobody leaves until this pen shows up.
我不喜欢这样 I don't like this.
是吗 跟笔说去 说不定在你那儿呢 Yeah? Tell it to the pen you might have.
格温妮弗吗 喂 是我 Gwynnifer? Hi. Yeah, it's me.
我去不了了 I can't make it.
好啊 让你的失望滚你妈的蛋吧 Well, tell your disappointment to suck it.
我这儿好戏正精彩呢 I'm doing a bottle episode!
好吧 Okay.
你真是让我敬仰万分啊 You just became my hero.
谢谢 Thank you.
没有笔 No pen.
我看得到 I can see that.
你干吗老是用那种语气跟我说话 Why do you keep taking that tone with me?
我来回答这个问题 Oh, I'll field that.
如果发现大家都没拿 Because if nobody else has this pen,
那就意味着 你发现自己拿着呢 It means at so point, you realized you had it
可又不好意思承认 我们绝对灭了你 and were too embarrassed to say, and we get to kill you.
我才不会监守自盗呢 你个痴傻妞 I'm not hiding my own pen, you paranoid weirdo.
大家互相盯紧些 Everybody stay within each other's eyelines, please.
你们中间有妖怪 One of you's a monster.
-下一个是我 对吧 -等一下 - Me next, right? - Hold on.
大家看看 Can we please consider
咱都疯到啥程度了 the threshold that we are crossing?
连阿布蒂都信不过吗 We don't trust Abed?
他撕碎了我的背包 He shredded my backpack.
他放走了我的宠物猴子 He freed my pet monkey.
因为我们把他带坏了 Because we corrupted him.
他可是我们的单纯宝宝啊 He's our innocent.
他往你头发里面放口香糖 He put gum in your hair.
把书包掏空 阿布蒂 Empty the bag, Abed.
皮尔斯 Uh, Pierce,
-你没有书包吗 -搞笑 - You don't have a bag? - Giraffe.
杰夫 你没有包吗 Uh, Jeff, you don't have a bag?
哦 我永远不会让包带 Oh, I could never deprive the world
遮挡住我完整的胸怀 of the portion of my chest the strap would cover.
有道理 还剩下谁 Makes sense. So what's left?
雪瑞 要不要来一个爱的拥抱 Shirley, a little hugging and crying,
就此一笔勾销? and then we're done?
阿布蒂 为什么这儿会有我的名字 Wait,Abed, why is my name in here?
那是我的本本 That's mine.
怎么雪瑞和安妮也在上面 And shirley's and annie's?
-这是嘛啊 -各种图表 - What is it? - Charts.
看起来像是日历 Some kind of calendar?
个人隐私 别看了 That's my persal private business.
安妮为期4天 间期28天 下一次11月10号 Annie,4 on, 28 off, next, november 10th.
布雷塔为期5天 间期27天 Britta,5 on, 27 off...
你是不是在算我们的月经期啊 Are you charting our menstrual cycles?
啥 what?!
太恶心了 Gross!
这可是个人隐私 Abed, this is so personal!
不过算得还挺准的 And so accurate.
阿布蒂 这也太吓人了 Abed, this is really creepy.
我实在搞不懂你为什么要这么做 I really don't understand why you do this.
容我解释一下 I can explain.
我还以为你们还会接着吼我呢 Oh. I thought you'd keep yelling over me.
好吧 让我来解释一下 Okay, I can explain.
你们也知道我不太了解常人的想法 You know I have trouble reading people,
所以经常说一些不符合常理的话 and say the wrong things, sometimes,
而且我注意到和你们在一起时 And I noticed it was happening more often with you
这种状况发生的更加频繁 than it was with the others.
之后发现这里有规可循 And then I noticed fluctuating patterns,
我就开始归纳成表格 and I started graphing them,
后来我明白过来这算的是啥了 and by the time I realized what I was actually measuring,
结果对咱大家都有好处 it has started to yield really positive results for everybody,
我就继续算了 so I kept doing it.
你是打算一直瞒着我们吗 Were you ever gonna tell us about this?
这对我是莫大的侮辱 I--I feel so violated.
再来点巧克力吗 More chocolate?
快滚开 Oh! Get away from me!
阿布蒂让我万分景仰 Abed just became my hero.
-我能不能看一眼啊 -滚 - Can I have a little-- - NO!
你们周期一致了还是怎么 Guess it's true what they sayabout the sync-up.
好吧 我想我正好可以借此机会 Okay, if I could just take this time
对那个偷笔贼 to sharea few words of sarcasm
说一段意味深长的讽刺话 with whoever it is that took this pen.
我想说 感谢你为我做的这一切 I would say thank you for doing this to me.
全仰仗您 我才不用出门 For a while I thought I'd have to suffer
去看什么宠物游行 through a puppy parade,
像现在这样被活埋在感情坟墓 but I much prefer being entomb alive
纠葛到让我无所适从 in a mausoleum of feelings
说真的 这比宠物游行好玩儿多了 I can neither understand nor reciprocate.
请容我给您奉上些啥 聊表谢意 So whoever you're, can I get you anything?
冰激凌还是最佳好友奖章 Ice cream? Best friend medal?
什么都行 Anything?Mm-mmm?
好吧 讽刺到此结束 Okay, sarcasm over.
雪瑞 该你了 You're last up, Shirley.
把你那滑稽可笑的大包清空 结束这一切吧 Dump your comedically huge bag and end this.
不 谢了 Uh, no, thank you.
Harvey Keitel 美国著名演员 看上去饱经沧桑 神秘老练
好啊 你够狠啊 Well, well, well, Harvey Keitel.
你到底隐瞒了什么 别想蒙我们 Well, what do you know, Henry David Thoreau.
亨利·戴维·梭罗 美国著名作家著有论文《消极抵抗》
拳王泰森 My oh my, Mike Tyson
把包交出来 Just empty the bag.
不 我没拿安妮的笔 No! I don't have Annie's pen.
我就是个不喜欢被当众搜包的基督徒而已 I'm simply a christian woman that doesn't open her bag.
被搜个包还能遭天谴不成 What did the christian woman think would happen
装个毛 when we got to her bag?
要搜就去搜穆斯林吧 The christian woman thought you'd find it on the muslim.
您心真好 Real nice!
至少比你强 套套女 Nicer than you, condom carrier!
-交出来 就是你干的 -不 - Dump the bag, you're guilty! - No!
老天 八成是脑血栓了 Oh, lord, he's thrown a clot!
皮尔斯 快打911 Pierce!Call 911!
不 不要啊 No! No! No!
皮尔斯 你没必要这么绝吧 Pierce, you didn't need to do that.
当然得这样 Yes, I did.
你们就会扯淡 All you guys do is talk,
真格的事儿都得我来干 leaving me to do the things you won't do.
干打雷 不下雨 People like you are the reason
难怪打个越南都耗那么久 we took so long to get into Vietnam.
雪瑞 你藏的就是这个吧 Is this what you were trying to hide, shirley?
验孕棒 A pregnancy test?
而且更重要的是 And more importantly,
还真有专为黑人女性设计的验孕棒 are they seriously marketing pregnancy tests to black women
伙计们 你们搞什么 Guys! This is a terribly childish way
会不会抓重点啊 o handle this kind of situation.
你有新男友了吗 Does this means you have a new boyfriend?
谁啊 谁啊 Who, who, who?
跟你们...没关系 Not that it's, uh, anyone's business...
我在劳动节之后和前夫勾搭上了 I recently reconnected with my husband over labor day,
貌似主还是想再给我们一次机会 and it seems the lord may have a plan for us
原来勾搭他的那个淫娃可以一边凉快去了 that doesn't include that stripper slut he ran away with.
雪瑞 你肯定没怀孕 不可能的事 You're not pregnant, shirley. It's impossible.
为啥都说老娘不能生了 Why does everybody think I'm old?
我也就和杰夫一边大 I'm around Jeff's age!
姐有子宫好吧 I have a uterus!
不是 根据我的图表显示 No, no. According to my charts,
你在劳动节的那个周末不可能怀孕的 You couldn't have concived over labor day weekend.
你应该是到万圣节才排卵 You would have been ovulating on halloween.
这也挺给力的 Which is just as well,
你要是鬼怪节上怀了孕 趁着怪胎还没生下来 because if you're gonna have a pregnant woman in one of these,
赶紧回家待着吧 I say go elevator labor or go home.
万圣节吗 Halloween?
好吧 就这样吧 Well, that's that, then.
是不是松了一口气啊 Yeah, what a relief.
看来某些的生活 Looks like someone narrowly avoid
那是相当的不浪荡啊 a "Lifestyle mistake" of their own.
莫非勾搭光棍才叫浪荡吗 Oh! Or is it only bad if you sleep with unmarried men?
圣经是不认可离婚的 布雷塔 The bible doesn't recognize divorce, Britta!
一旦结婚 他就永远是你的丈夫 When you marry a man, he's your man!
是吗 如果他再婚以后 Yeah, and after he marries someone else,
你还和他鸳鸯戏水 这就是神的旨意 if you jump into the sac with him, you're an angel,
所以你就可以不用套套了吗 so long as you don't use protection?
说出来很爽是吧 I'm so glad you're enjoying this.
还有那杀千刀的偷笔贼 下地狱爽去吧 And I hope whoever stole that pen enjoys it in hell!
-干得不错嘛 虎尔摩斯 -是福尔摩斯 - Nice try, stephen fry. - "Stephen fry."
英国电视红人斯蒂芬·弗雷 出演福尔摩斯2
我们都说好了的 We all have an agreement.
笔在人在 笔亡人亡 Nobody leaves till we find it.
滚开 来吧 Get off.Here we go.
把笔找出来 We are gonna find that pen!
一定找出来 We are gonna find that pen!
咱找不到 And if we can't find it,
下一代接着找 Our children will find it!
是不是在这堆书里啊 Is it over here in the books?
笔呢 我的神笔马良大魔笔呢 This pen? This incredible, magical pen
怎么就自己消失了呢 That nobody knows how it could disappear?
可能它就在这了 Oh, maybe it's right in here!
这都是学校的财产啊 Guys, this is school property!
能别找了吗 Can we just forget it?
一支笔而已 It's a pen!
这会儿明白了? It's a pen now?
你确定吗 Really?
不再是什么所谓的原则了吗 It's not a prciple anymore?
这会成一支笔了? Now it's a pen?
你怎么改变心意了呢 Why you change your heart?
你不会是想怀疑我吧 You're not seriously accusing me.
我的包搜过了 We searched my bag!
要是你中途发现了笔的踪迹 Which is exactly the last place you'd put it,
你才不会把它藏包里 if you found it halfway through all this.
事实上 假设我们当中真有谁拿了你的笔 In fact, assuming that one of us does have the pen,
那么谁最有可能深埋证据 Who among us has the most incentive
让其永不见天日呢 to make sure it never sees the light of day?
-你要搜身吗 -没错 - You want to go there? - Yeah.
-我满足你 -好的 - I'll go there. - Okay.
-完全满足你 -是吗 - I was born there. - really?
姐完全彻底赤赤条条地满足你 There's a placard the commemorating me!
什么情况 要搭把手吗 What's going on, and how can I help?
安妮 冷静点 Annie, relax.
不 你冷静点杰夫 No, you relax, Jeff.
你是怕一脱衣服 笔就掉出来吗 Or are you scared that if you do, my pen will fall out?
你个早熟的小贱人 You precocious little bitch!
别这样 伙计们 嘿 Okay, guys, guys! Hey!
伙计们 住手 Guys, stop!
你们脑子都抽风了 You're being complely illogical!
我们应该把桌子翻过来 男女分开 We need to flip up the table, divide the group by gender,
然后脱光互相搜身 and then search each other in our underwear.
啥 What?
现在咋办 Now what?
都晃两下 把东西晃下来 Everybody shake. Enough to dislodge.
有东西掉到地上吗 Okay, anything hit the floor?
没有 No.
你的内裤什么材质的 What are those underwear made out of?
挺高档嘛 They look luxurious.
是有机豆棉混织的 Oh. They're an organic soy-cotton blend.
这位格温妮弗待遇挺高啊 This Gwynnifer must be real special.
你通常不是穿青绿条纹 Don'you usually wear
上面还印着阴间大法师那种吗 the stripey turquoise beetlejuice numbers?
她说"通常"是什么意思 What does she mean "usually"?
好了 别说了 All right, end of the road.
屋子我们翻了个底朝天 We've torn apart the room,
也都脱光了 we've stripped.
该找的地方都找遍了... There is absolutely no place left...
不 No.
不 No!
不 No.
不要啊 Noooooo! No!
该死 剪刀弄坏了 Damn it. Broke my scissors.
给你 小心点 Here. Be careful.
这是最后一把剪刀了 This is the last pair we have.
别扎到腿了 Also, don't cut his legs.
我们是不是太过分了 I'm worried we've gone too far.
大坏蛋就是这么炼成的 This is how super villains are created.
你就不能再来段鼓动人心的招牌演讲 Can't you just make an inspiring Winger speech about trust,
嘲弄下某个名人 给咱安一个好听的名声 throw in a few digs at an easy celebrity target,
自我安慰一下吗 and put a ribbon on this thing?
阿布蒂 你可想清楚 Abed, think about this for one second,
如果我们中某人在找到笔前 if a single one of us leaves this room
就离开了自习室 before we find that pen,
以后我们还能信得过谁 how can any of us trust anyone in this group ever again?
你穿这么快干吗 What's your hurry?
遮羞啊 I'm clothing myself.
光穿着内衣我不自在 I'm not comfortable standing around in my all-together
你们两个皮包骨头的荡妇 like you two anorex jeze--
对不起 Oh! I'm so sorry.
这话太刻薄了 That was really mean.
我不知道为什么就脱口而出了 I don't know where that came from.
今儿我们过的都不容易 We've all been through a lot today.
对怀孕的恐惧 And I'm sure this pregnancy scares
怕是压抑了你一个星期了吧 Been weighg on you all week, right?
所以你才拿了我的笔吗 And maybe that's why you took my pen?
什么 What?!
藏到哪去了 你个臭嘴女 Where are you hiding it, judgy beans?
好了 弄开了 All right, here we go.
这跟饼干房的下水道一个味儿 It smells like a waffle house sink!
皮尔斯 你还用撬锁棍来挠腿 Pierce, are you using slim jims to scratch your legs?
你们能不能别问东问西的 Have we not gotten to a place free of judgment yet?
不是这支 不是这支 This isn't it, this isn't it.
在哪儿呢 笔在哪儿呢 Where is it? Where's the pen?
笔在哪儿 Where's the pen?!
笔在哪儿呢 Where's the pen?
外面有点降温了 It's getting a little chilly outside,
管理人要求大家 So the animal wranglers have asked that every student
每人抱只小狗 pick up a puppy and hold it,
别让他们受寒 so they stay warm while the volunteers
志愿者会发放狗狗的小帽子 Hand out tiny, puppsized hats.
话说我也不知道自己为啥还要念通知 Honestly, I don't know why I'm even making these announcements.
大家肯定都去院子里玩了 There can't be anyone who isn't already on the quad!
安妮 我只想说 Annie, I'd just like to say,
不管是谁偷了这支笔 On behalf of whoever actually stole this pen
我都很抱歉事情搞成这样 I real am sorry about all this.
我就知道是你 I knew it was you.
你们都有嫌疑 All I know is it could be any of you.
我们都清楚 就是你 And for all we know, it's you.
我倒希望是我 真的 I wish it were. I really do.
我倒希望被我藏在头发里了 I wish I could just find it behind my ear.
我倒希望自己有那么傻 I'd rather be that stupid than think that anyone of us
都比怀疑大家要好 might be this inconsiderate.
纠结了这么久 这事儿简直离奇 After all we've been through, it almost seems impossible.
倒不至于离奇 It seems less than impossible.
一些奇闻怪谈 Something impossible
反而可能是真的 actual seems more likely.
这就来了 Here we go.
翁格招牌演讲压轴上台 Winger speech to take us home.
说不定是鬼拿了那支笔呢 What if a ghost took the pen?
-听他说完 -我说完了 - Let him finish - I finished.
说真的不骗你 为啥不行 For real, honestly, seriously, why not?
为什么不能是偷笔鬼呢 Why not just "a ghost took the pen"?
我一直都这么说 Okay, I've been saying that for hours.
一开始我们就应该听特洛伊的 And we should've listening to Troy from the beginning.
伙计们 好好想想 Guys, look in your hearts
然后认认真真的回答这个问题 and answer this question honestly:
哪种可能性更大呢 what's more likely?
是某个不配呆在这个小组的人吗 That someone in this group doesn't belong in this group?
还是鬼 or ghosts?
如果让我们在朋友间反戈相向 If we have to choose between turning on each other
和偷笔鬼怪谈之间选择 or pinning it on some specter
你会怎么选 with unfinished, pen-related business,
很抱歉 我觉得鬼的可能性更大 I'm sorry, but my money's on ghost.
我不信教 Well, I'm not a religious person,
但是我也看过怪力乱神的东西 but I've seen specials on the paranormal.
一切皆有可能 Anything's possible.
跟另一个比起来 Relative to the alternative,
这种说法听起来更有逻辑 it actually seems more logical to me.
鬼要笔干吗 Why would a ghost want a pen?
特洛伊 Troy.
听我慢慢道来 Okay.
我觉得很像《灵动：鬼影实录》 So I see it as a lot like the movie paranormal activity,
但比那个无聊也时髦多了 except for more boring and fancy.
在1856年 And I think in 1856,
一个男人被砍头了 It is possible that a man was beheaded
而他当时正给自己别离的爱人 while he was writing in his diary
写日记 to his long lost love,
而现在他就在格林德尔的大厅里游荡 And now he roams the halls of Greendale
急切的想要一支笔 然后写封情书 screaming for his pen so he can write a love letter.
"我需要她 我需要她"他喊道 "I need her! I need her!" He screams,
一边喊一边找笔 as he looks for a pen.
你们到底在里面干吗了 What the hell did you people do in there?
你和你的狗狗们难以想见的事情 Something you and your puppies could only dream of
你这个没心没肺的贱人 You non-miraculous son of a bitch.
没心没肺 Non-miraculous?
等等 阿布蒂 Wait! Abed!
这架花车真是让人不忍卒看 Now who could resist falling in love with our float.
这只秋色为袍的狗狗让人不禁想到 This autumn-colored puppy reminds us that
纵世间枝叶不留 while the leaves might be changing,
然人宠之情永恒 responsible pet ownship is always in season.
又来了一位皇室贵族 Oh, here is a crowned favorite,
还有闪亮的高脚杯 and top and tail flute.
一场香槟浴和红色跑车 A champagne bath and a red sportscar,
但愿他还是钻石王老五 let's hope he 's single.
这可有点"寓教于乐" Well, this one feels a little preachy.
平等共处
下去吧 下去吧你 Boo! Boo!