嗡嗡蜂 你今天过得如何 Hey, Buzzby, how are you today?
不是很好 傻蛋蜂 Not so great, Bumbleton.
我要采集很多的花粉 I have a ton of pollen to collect,
但是我好累啊 but I'm really tired.
飞得有点低落吗 你应该"嗨"起来 Flying a little low? Maybe you should get high.
-这是谁 -他是毒品老爹 - Who's this? - This is drugs.
-毒品不是坏东西吗 -谁说的 - Aren't drugs bad? - No way.
毒品就像是特制蜂蜜 能让你精神抖擞擞擞 Drugs are like special honey. They give you a buzzzzz.
别叫我小蜜 亲爱的 Don't call me honey, honey.
皮尔斯 Pierce!
毒品不说这话 Drugs doesn't say that.
顺便提一句 我根本就没有台词 I don't say anything, by the way.
这个短剧不是想唤起大家对毒品的警觉嘛 I mean, I thought this show was about drug awareness.
毒品没台词 哪有人会有所警觉 Who's gonna be aware of a character that has no lines?
而且在第15页 我居然被冲下了下水道 And also I noticed on page 15 I get flushed down the toilet.
算你走运 Consider yourself lucky.
安妮 我问你 皮尔斯是大麻吗 Annie, question. Is Pierce marijuana?
大麻会使人们工作更有效率吗 And does marijuana help people work faster?
我还以为人吸了大麻 就只会在车上涂鸦 I thought it made them just custom-paint their vans
四处神游呢 and solve mysteries.
还有 你确定我的服装没有反过来吗 Also, are you sure that my costume is on backwards?
不知为何 我刚刚感觉更自信 Somehow I felt more confident before.
我有个问题 我认为我的角色 I have a question. I don't think my character
不会说"嗨爆天"这个词 would say "Tripping balls."
那不是个问题 That's not a question.
我认为我的角色不会说"嗨爆天" 行了吧 I don't think my character would say tripping balls, okay?
伙计们 我们要记住这件事的目的 Guys, let's remember why we're doing this.
这个短剧即便只帮助一个孩子选择正途 If our work helps even one kid make better choices,
也都是值得的 then it will all be worth it.
真希望我那时候看过这样的短剧 I wish I had seen a show like this when I was younger.
或许我就不会误入歧途了 It might have helped me avoid my mistakes.
安妮 我们很高兴为你做这件事 Well, we're happy to do this for you, Annie,
但我要说 我的学校演过很多这样的短剧 But I have to say, my school had plenty of shows like this,
来来回回的看 直接导致我浸身毒海 and I think sitting through them drove me to drugs.
你不算数 布雷塔 You don't count, Britta.
你对事的反应从来都不正常 You don't respond to anything appropriately.
谢谢 Thank you!
"院长"响叮当 Dean-dong!
我就是来看看 I'm just checking in to see
格林德尔反毒品短剧进行的如何 how the Greendale antidrug players are doing.
我跟圣罗摩初中的教导主任谈过 Now, I talked to the guidance counselor at the San Ramone middle school,
明天会有至少50名 And there's gonna be at least 50
"危险区"的小孩观看你们的全球首演 little at-risk rug rats coming here tomorrow for your big world premiere.
太好了 That is terrific.
幸运的话 自动贩卖机里的口香糖 So with any luck, we can get rid of all those Charleston Chews
明天就要卖疯了 in the vending machines.
派尔顿院长 你想加入 Um, Dean Pelton, were you hoping to participate
-我们的演出吗 -我很乐意 安妮 - in the show? - oh, I would love to, Annie.
但是你可以从我的装扮看出 But as you can see from my outfit,
我另有安排 飞去机场华美达酒店咯 I already have plans, so off to the Airport Ramada!
凭啥他的蜂刺在前面 How come he gets a front stinger?
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翻译：大卫熊 夕橙 山炮 小独
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校对：米粒 时间轴：Jimmy贝壳
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后期：鱼骨头 监制：米粒
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《废柴联盟》 第二季 第13集 iTunes 720p版本调教：Tears
你们说蜜蜂吃自己的蜂蜜吗 Do you think bees eat their own honey?
至少尝过吧 I'm sure they've at least tasted it.
-这家伙总是发短信给我 -你不喜欢他吗 - This guy keeps texting me. - You don't like him?
我不喜欢用短信调情 I don't like flirting in text.
那就像是在说你不在电灯下工作 That's like saying you don't work by electric light.
如果你想要有真正的性生活 If you want to have an active sex life,
短信必不可少 part of it is texting.
我不记得我有问你意见啊 Hmm. I don't remember asking your opinion.
我说话不行吗 Can't talk now.
雪瑞 既然我可能是你未出世孩子的父亲 Shirley, since I might be the father of your unborn child,
我给你做了混合磁带 I made you a mix tape.
《走近昌》 混合磁带
希望你喜欢强尼·吉尔[R&B歌手] I hope you like Johnny Gill.
你可能没有录音机 And since you probably don't have a cassette player,
"格雷格列表"网上有一些二手的 here's a list of used ones on Craigslist.
布雷塔 你要出去吗 Britta, are you walking out of this room?
是的 Uh--yeah.
你应该知道 总有一天 Hey... you know that you're gonna
你要承认他的存在 对吧 have to acknowledge him eventually.
我不知道你是在说谁 I don't know who you're talking about.
-昌 -我知道你说的是谁 他不存在 - Chang. - I know who you're talking about--he doesn't exist!
安妮 Um, Annie?
-抱歉 有事找你 -说 - I'm sorry. A word? - Mm-hmm!
你也许不知道 I don't know if you know this,
我给霍桑湿巾做过电视广告 but I did tv commercials for Hawthorne Wipes--
那是家族企业 是在50年代 family business-- in the fifties.
嘉宝公司婴儿头像
我就像是湿巾业的"嘉宝婴儿" I was kind of the gerber baby of moist towelettes.
-很厉害 皮尔斯 -是啊 - That's great, Pierce. - Yeah, yeah.
我有很多演出经验 出入片场 Oh, I've done a lot of acting. Workshops.
擅长肢体喜剧 滑稽舞蹈 I do physical comedy. Funny dances.
-模仿外国口音 -口音吗 - Foreign accents. - Accents?
随便说个国家 Name any country.
俄罗斯 Russia.
问题是 我能给短剧带来很多元素 Point being, there are many tools I can bring to the table
所以我认为剧本有点浪费我的才华 that I think the script may be wasting.
皮尔斯 你知道 Pierce, you know what I think
这个短剧哪里最棒吗 is really great about this show?
真正的明星是其传递的讯息 The only real star of it is the message.
是啊 那条讯息是杰夫·翁格吗 Right. Uh... is the message Jeff Winger?
因为剧本每一页都有他 Because he's on every page of this thing.
明天见 I'll see you tomorrow.
最好是 You bet.
布雷塔手机落这了 Oh, Britta left her phone.
-她收到一条短信 -我看看 - She's getting a text message. - Let me see.
马库斯发来的 Oh. It's from Marcus.
"我明晚会去看短剧 "I'll be at the show tomorrow night.
等不及想要见到你 "Can't wait to see you.
你真的穿猫咪服装吗 Are you really wearing a cat costume?"
马库斯 Well, Marcus...
你中头彩了 You are in luck.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
拖着布雷塔回到1997年 Dragging Britta kicking and screaming into 1997.
你回复什么了 What did you say?
猫咪服装没什么稀奇 "There's not much to the cat costume,
但我等不及给你看看衣服下面穿了什么 but can't wait to show you what's underneath."
你为什么会认为那是个好主意 How could you think that was a good idea?
我有个更好的问题 I got a better question.
怎么就不会是一个超赞的主意 How could it not be a great idea?
什么 What--
皮尔斯 你来这干什么 Pierce... what are you doing here?
别提这个了 Never mind that.
走廊有个强奸犯 There's a rapist in the hallway.
那是我的房东 That's my landlord.
如果他想强奸 你早就被奸了 And if he wanted to rape you, you'd be raped.
你是跟踪我吗 Did you follow me?
你先回答我两个问题 Let me answer your question with two of my own.
你在"性福都市"楼上的公寓里干吗呢 What are you doing in an apartment above Dildopolis?
第二 他们啥时候开的分店啊 And when did they open a second location?
我家就在这里 皮尔斯 This is where I live, Pierce.
只是恰巧楼下有家夫妻情趣用品店 It just happens to be above a marital aid store.
我不明白 现在不都兴啃老族吗 I don't get it. Aren't everyone's parents rich?
我跟我父母不讲话 Well, I'm not speaking to my parents.
我患上神经衰弱后 After my nervous breakdown,
我妈妈想置之不理 my mom wanted to put the problem behind us,
但我想解决问题 所以我去了戒毒所 and I wanted to deal with it, so I went to rehab,
然后她就不给我钱了 and she cut me off.
那你以什么为生呢 What are you living on?
我一分一厘的攒啊 给人看孩子 I saved. Every penny from babysitting,
生日时收到的支票 Every birthday check,
还有我少女时期月月仙子给我的钱 Every dollar from the period fairy when I was a kid.
我还以为能再维持一段时间呢 I guess I thought it would last longer.
抱歉 什么是月月仙子 Excuse me. What's a period fairy?
就是每个月的那几天 The fairy that gives you a dollar
月月仙子就会赐给你一块钱 every time you get your period.
现在她还月月都来吗 Does she still come?
-皮尔斯 -话说 - Pierce! - You know,
其实咱俩很相像 安妮 you and I are very much alike, Annie.
我们都是现实主义者 我们都很可爱 We're both realists. We're both cute.
而且我们都宁死不屈于别人的控制 And we'd both rather die than let someone else control us.
我看出这个地方存在的意义了 I see the point of this place now.
这个垃圾窝是象征自力更生的纪念馆 This crap hole is a monument to self-reliance.
窗帘是我从大垃圾桶里找到的 I found the drapes in a dumpster.
难以置信吧 Can you believe it?
是啊 Yes.
我想帮帮你 安妮 You know, I wanna help, Annie.
不行 不要 皮尔斯 Oh, no. No, no, no, no, no, Pierce.
-转过身 -我不能拿你的钱 - Come on, now. - I'm not taking money from you.
这不是我的钱 是你的 It's not mine. It's yours.
你用你的坚强赢来的 You've earned it for being strong.
这钱不知怎么 一不小心就掉你手里了 It's going to drop into your hands from out of nowhere.
因为我从未来过 Because I was never here.
好吧 这钱我收下了 Okay. I'm only taking this
但只是因为我有点发愁交房租的事 because I'm a little worried about making rent,
据说贩卖鸡蛋的审批手续 and they told me the procedure for selling eggs
得用上三个星期 takes three weeks.
你还是留着鸡蛋以备不时之需吧 You save your eggs for a rainy day.
明天见 I'll see you tomorrow.
皮尔斯 Pierce?
对了 你今天干吗跟踪我回家 Hey, why did you follow me here today?
哦 没事啦 Oh! It was nothing, it...
现在说了似乎有点无聊 seems sort of pointless now.
我只是想来探讨一下剧本问题 I guess just to talk about the play
谁会在乎我一句台词都没有呢 and...who cares if I don't have any lines?
你知道吗 皮尔斯 Well, you know what, Pierce?
你该念那段你即兴发挥的台词 You should do that line you improvised.
"别叫我小蜜 亲爱的" "Don't call me honey, honey"?
对 就是那个 Yeah, that's it.
你就该那么说 You should do that.
你是湿巾业的"嘉宝婴儿" 不是吗 You were the gerber baby of moist towelettes, right?
对啊 没错 Yes. Yes, I was.
开拍 Action!
大家好 我是科尼里奥斯·霍桑 Hello. I'm Cornelius Hawthorne.
在一个雨天 我和儿子皮尔斯 One rainy day, my son Pierce and I
正在散步时 我发现了 were taking a stroll when I discovered
刚从地里采摘的新鲜湿棉花具有洁净能力 the cleansing power of moist cotton, fresh from the field.
是吧 儿子 Isn't that right, son?
的确没错 It sure is.
的确没错 爸爸 It sure is, dad!
皮尔斯 别捣乱 Pierce, knock it off.
我也想演广告 爸爸 I wanna be in the commercial too, father.
那你之前就该在试镜时好好表现 Well, then you should have done better in your damn audition.
你叫什么名字 孩子 What's your name, son?
奈吉尔 Nigel.
你是个好孩子 奈吉尔 You're a good boy, Nigel.
你父亲真是个幸运的人 Your father is a lucky man.
好了 大家记住 Okay, guys, remember,
最重要的事情就是享受快乐 the most important thing is to have fun!
第二重要的事情是 And the second most important thing
记住你所有的台词和站位 is to know all your lines and all your blocking
一点儿错都不许出 and not mess up a single thing.
不对 顺序换一下 Actually--flip those.
大家拿好了 我冒昧修改 Here we go, guys. I took the liberty
提升了一下咱们台词的水平 of juicing up some of our bits.
但是 Um...but--
皮尔斯 你不能随便篡改安妮的剧本 Pierce, you can't just revise Annie's script.
再说了 这年头谁还用修正液啊 And who uses wite-out anymore?
我们干吗不读一遍皮尔斯的修改 Why don't we look over Pierce's changes
然后看看是否有提升呢 and see if they improve things?
"嘿 蜡笔 你知道 "Hey, Crayon, do you know
从哪能搞到毒品吗 where I can get some drugs?
我需要它们" I need them."
"不幸的是 无论何处都能搞到毒品" "Unfortunately, you can get them anywhere."
-"任何地方吗" -我来也 - "Anywhere?" - I'm here!
锵锵锵 锵 Zabba-da-zooey!
挺好的 Good one.
看来 没什么大碍 Well, doesn't seem to hurt anything,
所以让我们穿上戏服 全力以刺吧 So let's get into costume and break a stinger!
以蜜蜂的名义 For the bees.
安妮 Annie, uh...
我觉得锵锵锵锵那句台词不太好 I-I don't feel comfortable with the zabba-da-zooey line.
那句可是你写的 The one you wrote?
我知道了 I got it!
不如让杰夫说锵锵锵锵 Let's give Jeff the zabba-da-zooey line,
然后我就走上去说句更好的 and then I'll come in with a good one.
-这样啊 -我声音特适合这句 - Yeah... - It's more my voice.
杰夫肯定不同意的 Pretty sure Jeff is gonna reject that idea.
是啊 你说的也对 Yeah, you're probably right.
你是制片人 You're the producer.
对了 这是你的笔吗 By the way, is this your pen?
我想可能昨天给你签完支票后 I...think I put it back in my pocket
就不小心放我口袋里了 after I wrote you that check yesterday.
我待会再还给你好了 I'll give it to you later.
我会跟杰夫谈谈的 I'll talk to Jeff.
还有 我觉得为了配合我的角色 Also, I think it'd be better for my character
最好是让我穿着他的皮夹克 if I wear his leather jacket.
好啦 Okay!
欢迎光临格林德尔禁毒活动展演 Welcome to Greendale's Drug Awareness Show!
好吧 义工已经给你们分发了 Okay. Our volunteers are handing out
无毒棒球 看到了没 drug-free baseballs, huh?
下次你们再惦记毒品 Next time you think about drugs,
就想想棒球吧 think about baseball instead.
你不能永远无视我 Can't ignore me forever.
好吧 也许你可以 Okay, you probably can...
真不明白你干吗要无视我 I don't know why you want to.
我有没有告诉过你我侄子马库斯 I don't know if I told you my nephew Marcus
就在圣罗摩中学上学 actually goes to San Ramone Middle School,
今晚他会来看演出 and he's coming to see the show.
马库斯是你侄子? Marcus? Your nephew?
对啊 他今年14岁 Yeah, he's 14.
本来我以为他根本不喜欢我 I actually thought he didn't even like me,
但他突然给我发短信说 but then he texted me out of nowhere and he said,
"迫不及待的想见你 "Can't wait to see you.
这是我梦寐已久的事情 "I've been looking forward to this for so long.
你是全世界最酷的姑姑" You are the coolest Aunt in the world."
我不想让他失望 I hope that I don't let him down.
-你会表现得很出彩 -这符号是啥意思 - You'll be great. - What does this symbol mean?
一个"8" 外加一个"=" It's a number eight, an equal sign,
最后还加了一个">" and then a greater than symbol.
给我看看 Let me see.
你还是赶紧换衣服吧 You'd better get changed.
我帮你看着 I'll hang onto your stuff for you.
好吧 Great.
阿布蒂 我们悲剧了 Abed, we screwed up.
还记得昨天发的那条短信吗 You know that text we sent?
那是发给布雷塔的侄子的 It was to Britta's nephew.
他给她回了一个小鸡鸡表情 He sent her an emoti-penis.
我们该怎么办啊 What are we gonna do?
好吧 你给我闪一边去吧 Fine. Screw you, Abed.
我能搞定他 I can fix this.
马库斯 我搞错了 "Marcus, I made a mistake.
昨天晚上那条短信发错了 I texted the wrong person last night."
你在短信里叫我名字了 怎么可能发错 "You called me by name. It wasn't a mistake.
别害羞嘛 Don't be afraid."
阿布蒂 你一边去 Screw you, Abed.
我昨天喝多了 我们不能这样 "I was drunk. We can't do this."
我也喝多了 欲求不满 "I'm drunk too. On lust."
还传了张图 There's a picture.
这也太杯具了吧 Oh! That's disappointing.
这是谁干的啊 实在是太 Wow, who does that? That's...
蜜蜂们该上场了 酷酷猫们 准备好啊 Bees, you're up. Cool cats, your on deck.
-毒品不是坏东西吗 -谁说的 - Aren't drugs bad? - No way.
毒品就像是特制蜂蜜 Drugs are like special honey.
能让你精神抖擞擞擞 They give you a buzzzzzzz.
别叫我小蜜 亲爱的 Don't call me "Honey," honey.
你是不是因为我是棒子才无视我的啊 Are you ignoring me because I'm Korean?
-你是中国人 -这有区别吗 - You're Chinese. - Oh, there's a difference?
小点声 Shh!
我无视你是因为你丫是个二五零 It's because you're crazy, all right?
你脑袋进水了 There's something wrong with you.
而且我竟然和你做过 And the idea that I was with you
这意味着我也脑子进水了 means there's something wrong with me,
如果这个孩子 and if this baby--
如果你还有点人性的话 If you have any humanity at all,
就别让我想起那码事 You will not make me think about it.
雪瑞 到葬礼那一场了 Shirley, funeral.
这下没疑虑了 Well, that answers my question.
杰夫·翁格就是躺在棺材里也帅到爆 Jeff winger is sexy even in a coffin.
我来了 I'm here.
皮尔斯 你应该在舞台上啊 Pierce, you're supposed to be onstage.
我一直在找这些烟火棒 I was looking for a lighter.
你怎么穿成这样啊 这可是葬礼戏 What are you wearing? This is a funeral.
看我的 安妮 I got this, Annie.
我不敢相信毛毛兄竟然死了 I can't believe fluffy's dead.
虽说我是绿色蜡笔 可我蓝调忧伤啊 I know I'm green, but I feel blue.
毒品老爹戴着爆炸假发 拿着烟火棒上来了 Look, it's drugs with a crazy wig and sparklers.
怪兽来了啊 Pokemon
Pokemon 是日本漫画中的怪兽
你这也太不靠谱了吧 毒品老爹 I don't think that's right, drugs.
没人要问你 蜡笔女士 Nobody asked you, Crayon.
毒品老爹 希望你对自己满意 Well, I hope you're proud of yourself, drugs.
看看你都做了什么好事 Look what you've done.
是吗 再给你们看个新招 Oh, yeah? Well, look what I'm doing now.
好像有一股死尸的味道啊 Smells like something died in here.
我们该怎么演啊 What do you want us to do?
要不要把院长叫来? Should we get the dean?
或者报警说有炸弹啊 Should we call in a bomb threat?
要不拉火警警报也行啊 Should we set off the sprinklers?
这没什么大不了 It's not that big a deal.
孩子们都很喜欢啊 I think the kids are into it.
是啊 可我觉得传达的讯息不太对呢 Yeah, but I don't think that they're getting the message.
但是你觉得小屁孩们知道什么 Yeah, but do kids ever really seem
叫远离毒品吗 like they're getting the message?
他们喜欢就好吧 I think it's sinking in.
随你喜欢吧 Well, I guess it's your call.
不管怎样 下一场戏他就要被冲进马桶了 And anyway, he's about to get flushed down the toilet
他蹦跶不了多久了 in the next scene, and he'll be done.
真希望自己从没见过毒品老爹 I wish I had never even met drugs.
是谁把这白痴从蜂巢里请出来的 Who invited the nerd from the beehive?
是毒品成就了你啊 Drugs made you.
你该歇歇了吧 毒品老爹 How about you leave, drugs?
他们想接着看我表演 They want more.
我得返场了 I gotta go back out there.
可是皮尔斯 你已经被冲掉了啊 But Pierce, you were flushed.
剧情就是这么设定的 That was the story.
这才是毒品老爹的下场啊 That's what's supposed to happen to drugs.
被冲掉了不代表我就挂了啊 Being flushed doesn't necessarily mean you're dead.
我可以一直漂着啊 I mean, I could be a floater.
懂我意思不 就是你大便以后冲不下去 You know, a floater is when you have a number two--
皮尔斯 我懂你意思 I know what a floater is, Pierce.
可在这出戏里根本说不通 It just--it wouldn't make any sense in the flow of the show,
剧情前后就矛盾了 and it sends a mixed message.
你懂什么叫前后矛盾吗 You know what I think is a mixed message?
昨天你还交不起房租 今天却付得起了 Yesterday you couldn't pay your rent, and today you can.
安妮 别这样 我们如此的相似 Come on, Annie. You and I are alike.
我们都这么独立 要互助互爱 We're independent. We need each other.
摆脱毒品的感觉实在是棒极了 Bzzz! Getting rid of drugs is a great I-bee-a.
我比以前飞的更高了 I'm flying higher than I ever have,
没有毒品就是爽啊 Thanks to not drugs.
各位 我回来了 I'm back!
无毒不成欢啊 Ain't no party without drugs!
我爱死你了 毒品老爹 I love you, drugs!
我们爱毒品 我们爱毒品 We want drugs! We want drugs!
都听听 他们多爱我啊 Listen to that! They're high on me!
我简直就是天神 I'm a god!
奈吉尔死哪儿去了 Where is that Nigel now?
我的小鸡鸡装备上还没上场呢 And I haven't even used my penis material yet.
皮尔斯 够了 Pierce, enough!
中场之后 我要一切回归原剧本 After intermission, I'm going back to the original script
做好善后工作 And doing some damage control.
善什么后 Damage?
只不过就是大爷我 The only damage is me
横扫全宇宙的霸气震慑了全场 blowing the roof off the universe.
我不会再让你登台了 I am not letting you go back on that stage!
我也不想再在深夜里造访你 Well, maybe I won't be visiting you
给你送去人间的温暖了 late at night anymore with a generous spirit.
你这个可悲可恨可怨可气的死老头 You sick, sick, sad old man.
这就是为什么我不想从我父母那儿拿钱 This is why I didn't want to take money from my parents.
我不想像木偶一样被别人牵着 I don't want anybody pulling my strings.
等等 他贿赂你了吗 Wait, wait. Is he giving you money?
再也不会了 Not anymore.
所以你才把剧本改了 That's why the script got changed.
皮尔斯花钱买通 安妮就从了他 Pierce bought his way in. Annie sold out her message.
你就这样纵容这个疯子瞎搞? You've been indulging this maniac?
对 是我纵容这个老疯子 Yes. I've been indulging this maniac.
-你被开除了 -开除了吗 - You're fired. - Fired?
下一次我再去性福都市 Next time I'm at Dildopolis,
我肯定不会用热脸贴冷屁股了 I will not be coming upstairs to say hi.
我们爱毒品 我们爱毒品 We want drugs! we want drugs!
我们义务参演 都是为了你 The only reason we did this was for you
还有你那不切实际的理想 and your stupid ideals,
可到头来 你却背叛了自己的理想 and it turns out you don't even have any.
枉我们那么支持你 We supported you, Annie.
安妮 你被踢群了 Yeah, Annie, you're fired.
我已经很抱歉了 I'm sorry!
看看你们干的好事 Here's the situation.
这里有50个儿童 即将误入歧途 We've got 50 at-risk preteens,
抄着棒球当家伙 嚷着要"毒品" armed with baseballs, chanting for drugs,
好在刚才幕间休息时 Who just spent intermission
他们把口香糖消灭的差不多了 eating nothing but Charleston chews, thank god.
你们最好能以演治演 将功赎过 Hope you can top act one, is all I'm saying.
差点忘了 Oh! Whoops.
我们要毒品 We want drugs!
-我们遁吧 -同意 - Should we bail? - Works for me.
等一下 Wait!
我们爱毒品 We want drugs!
听听这些孩子的声音 Listen to those kids.
我们一手造成了50个潜在瘾君子 We just created 50 potential meth heads,
我们至少应该挽回局面 and the least we can do is hit the reset button
把这群人的吸毒率拉回平均线以下 and get that number down to the national average.
这绝对是"自杀任务" That's a suicide mission.
有人召唤"二五零"吗 Did someone say crazy person?
没有啊 No.
我可是听见了 Well, I heard it.
我们要毒品 我们要毒品 We want drugs! We want drugs!
你们好啊 小鬼 Greetings, you little snots!
你不是毒品老爹 You're not drugs.
我偏偏就是了 Oh, but I am!
失望不 Disappointed?
还指望哥始终如一? Did you expect me to stay the same forever?
可惜那不是咱的风格 'Cause that's not what drug does, baby.
我要酥炸了你家小狗 生吞你老妈的脸蛋 I'm gonna deep-fry your dog and eat your mama's face
活剥了你们的弟弟玩画皮 and I'm gonna wear your little brother's skin like pajamas.
我是你生活的主宰 I control your lives
而你们却无力还击 and there is nothing you can do!
一起上 灭了他 Let's kill him!
有种就来啊 Oh, bring it on, bow-wow.
还真上啊 不是吧 Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh, my!
哎呦 啊呀 Aah! Aah!
就这点本事吗 Is that all you've got?
告诉你吧 安妮 I gotta tell you, Annie,
这是我有生以来见过的 This is the greatest chemical dependency program
最出色的禁毒教育 I have ever watched.
你给孩子们成功灌输一种思想 I mean, the way you got the kids
让他们体会对毒品的依赖 to think that they needed drugs,
然后教给他们 and then having them realize
"过分依赖有害" That dependence was the enemy,
"切莫得不偿失" that the price was just too high.
太有才了 Oh, genius.
话说现在曲终人散了 So now that the show is over,
那些蜜蜂装怎么处置 What is the plan for these bee costumes?
投降 别打了 Aah! Aah! Uncle!
你好 马库斯 我是杰夫 Hi, Marcus. I'm Jeff.
我算是...布雷塔的男朋友吧 I'm like, uh, Britta's boyfriend.
老兄 她先勾引我的好吧 Look, dude, she started it, okay?
-她主动进攻的 -不是这回事 听我说 - She's just as into me. - No, listen, listen.
我没生气 I'm not mad.
是我在耍你们玩 I was just fooling around,
那些短信也是我发的 and I sent those texts.
-好恶 -对啊 - gross. - Yeah.
是够龌龊的 Well, it was pretty disgusting,
居然发那种照片给你姑姑 sending those pictures to your aunt.
和你短信调戏未成年人相比 More disgusting than what you texted
发照片不为过吧 to an underage boy?
我又不知道你是你 Yeah, well, I didn't know you were you.
我也不知道你不是我姑啊 And I didn't know you weren't my aunt.
好 这样吧 Okay, all right,
就算我们扯平了 Let's just call this a draw.
这事不必让布雷塔知道 Britta doesn't need to ever know about this.
我没问题 不过是有条件的 Okay, I'd be happy to, for a price.
你的行为很英勇 That was brave of you.
我得向你道歉 I owe you an apology.
说你"二五零"很难听 It was rude to call you crazy.
是我一直没念你的好 Maybe I haven't been giving you enough credit.
这话说的 甜到心里了 Oh, that's really sweet. Tell you what.
不如我把昌叫过来 你自己告诉他吧 Why don't I go get Chang? You can tell him that yourself.
-惨了 -那场戏真是神来之笔 - Oh, no. - My god, that was amazing!
-五体投地 -干得漂亮 - Wow! - Good job!
-谢谢 -太棒了 - Thanks! - Amazing!
真不错啊 老兄 太绝了 Way to go, man, go! That was awesome.
你被打得惨绝人寰啊 They beat the crap out of you.
何足挂齿 都是即兴表演 It's okay. I did a lot of ad-libbing.
真对不起大家 Guys, I'm so sorry.
太谢谢你了 那演技太赞了 Thank you so much. That was amazing.
我也受益匪浅 Even I learned something.
-没事啦安妮 -我们成功了 - Oh, Annie. - We did it.
-群抱一个 -抱抱 - Group hug, group hug. - Hug, hug.
-好一记力挽狂澜 -干得好 - Way to save the day. - Nice work.
棒球伤到脸了没 Did you get hit in the face with a baseball?
有吧 Yep.
安妮 无需多言 Annie, before you say anything,
我只想你知道 I just want you to know,
虽然我并未做错 Even though I did nothing wrong,
但我还是要给你钱 I'm still gonna give you money.
我不能拿你的钱 皮尔斯 No. I can't take your money, Pierce.
我不能刚脱离对父母的依赖 I can't go from depending on my parents
就转而依赖你 to depending on you,
正因如此 我打算找份工作 which is why I'm gonna get a job.
你是要踢掉我? So you're cutting me off?
不是 No.
皮尔斯 我知道你不依赖任何人 Pierce, I know you don't depend on anyone,
但你却需要有人依赖你 but you do depend on people depending on you,
我不会拿你的钱 so I'm not gonna take your money.
朋友还能做吧 We're still friends?
给我点时间就好 Give me a day.
顺便说一下 By the way,
那位"月月仙子"就是你妈 对吗 Your mom was the period fairy, right?
同志们 我的手机找是到了 Hey, guys, I found my phone,
可谁把我胸罩拿走了 but has anyone seen my bra?
现在是凌晨两点 It's 2:00 a.m.
"性福都市"为夜猫子们倾情广播 Time for dildopolis's night-owl deals.
请注意 Please be advised,
我们在总统日将歇业一天 We will be closed for president's day.
开个玩笑 Just kidding.
性福都市永不歇业 Dildopolis never closes.
我们全心全意保护您的隐私 At dildopolis, your privacy is our top concern.
所有消费在信用卡上 All store purchases will show up on your credit card
都记录为"ABC性福公司" as ABC dildos, incorporated.
血拼到底吧 Shop until you drop.
您可在敝处店内咖啡吧小憩片刻 Take a load off at our in-store cafe
享用一杯名品咖啡 and enjoy an Espresso
或者我们的招牌点心 肉桂小脆饼 or our signature cinnamon biscotti.