他姓胡...不对 是霍... It's "H-O--", "H-A-W-T--"
筒子们 Guys.
出什么事了 What happened?
看来是人家发现他躺在公园长椅上 Apparently they found him unconscious
昏迷不醒 on a park bench.
我的天 Oh, my god.
他还好吗 Is he okay?
不知道 我们刚刚才到 We don't know. We just got here.
他情况稳定 可以探视了 He's ready for visitors now.
在1023号病房 He's in 1023.
欢迎 我的老朋友们 Oh, welcome, my old friends.
-欢迎 -皮尔斯 出什么事了 - Welcome. - Pierce, what happened?
我们都很担心你 We were all so worried.
都是药片惹的祸 It was the pills.
我深陷其中 难以自拔 They just took me over.
我看到了狰狞恐怖的幻象 I saw awful, horrible things,
妖魔鬼怪 外星来客 demons, aliens,
《外星通缉者3》 还有布鲁斯·威利斯的替身 critters 3, something called Bruce Willis surrogates.
阿布蒂 你们几个在干吗 Abed, what are you guys doing?
没什么 表现自然一点 It's okay. Just act natural.
皮尔斯让我记录他的残生 Pierce asked me to document his life
以儆后人 for historical purposes.
起初我一口回绝 At first, I said, "No,"
虽然这么说会让人觉得无病呻吟 Because at the risk of sounding overly sensitive,
但我觉得把皮尔斯当主角会很无聊 I feel intensely bored by Pierce as a subject.
但这种纪录片形式 But I'm excited about the narrative facility
很有意思 of the documentary format.
一个故事可以化繁为简 It's easier to tell a complex story
只要你直接要求参与人员 when you can just cut to people
对着镜头阐释来龙去脉 explaining things to the camera.
我把大家叫到这里来 主要是想 I've called everyone here so that I could
妥善安置后事 put my house in order,
分别遗赠物品 并向你们大家宣读 bequeath parting gifts, say my final words
临终遗言 to each of you.
临终遗言 Final words?
-莫非你要谋杀俺们 -不是 笨蛋 - You're gonna kill us? - No, dummy.
这些药害人不浅 The pills wiped me out.
我不久于人世了 I'm dying.
天啊 Oh.
其实我骗人的 I'm not really dying.
在过去这几周 大家有目共睹 Over the last few weeks, it's become apparent
小组的人各种嚣张 目中无爷 how little respect this group has for me.
所以我召集他们 准备一雪前耻 So I've summoned them here to exact my revenge.
看到没 鱼上钩了 See? Fish in a barrel.
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
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翻译：小独 大卫熊 山炮 米粒
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校对：米粒 时间轴：Jimmy贝壳
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后期：鱼骨头 监制：米粒
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《废柴联盟》 第二季 第16集 iTunes 720p版本调教：Tears
我好伤心 不知该怎么做 I'm so sad. I don't know what to do.
一般来说 每逢意志消沉时 Usually, if I need to cheer up,
我就取笑皮尔斯 但现在... I just make fun of Pierce, but now...
这样做只会让我更伤心 It'd just make me sadder.
挚友将逝 知己独伤 It's Gregory Hines all over again.
听我说 他一定会没事的 Look, I'm sure he'll be fine.
世上无难事 只怕皮尔斯 You know how dramatic Pierce gets.
还记得那次他打嗝 Remember when he had the hiccups
结果不小心拉下火警吗 and pulled the fire alarm?
哥几个要淡定 Let's just try to relax.
他进医院正因我们太淡定 He's here because we relaxed.
错 他进医院是因为自己淡定 No, he's here because he relaxed,
觉得大把吃药也没事 a handful of pills at a time.
那都是过去的事了 That's all over now.
我们都来看他了 所以没必要 We're here for him, so there's no point
心存愧疚了 in feeling bad.
我们也知道没必要 杰夫 We know there's no point, Jeff.
但就是忍不住悲从中来 We kind of just felt like feeling it.
是啊 杰夫 你怎么跟阿布蒂似的 Yeah, Jeff. What are you? Abed?
多有冒犯 阿布蒂 Oh, sorry, Abed.
没关系 我没生气 No problem. Doesn't bother me.
霍桑先生已准备好进行遗赠 Mr. Hawthorne is ready to commence his bequeathings.
这话不该对护工说吗 Shouldn't you be telling that to an orderly?
特洛伊以为是"排遗"
意思是他要送我们礼物 He's gonna give us gifts.
哇 好棒 Oh, cool!
我是说... I mean...
好吧 Cool.
我也不希望皮尔斯翘掉 I don't want Pierce to die.
但如果一定要接受遗赠的话 But if I'm gonna get bequeathed upon,
我希望得到一套架子鼓 I'd like to be bequeathed a drum kit
或者大明星勒瓦·波顿的亲笔签名照 or a signed photo of actor Levar Burton.
那是我的前两个愿望 Those would be my top two wishes.
我第三个愿望就是再要一百万个愿望 My third wish would be a million wishes.
我会把些全用来 But I'd just use 'em all on
再要一百万张勒瓦·波顿的签名照 a million signed photos of actor leVar burton.
你好 皮尔斯 Hello, Pierce.
还好吗 Hi.
我去礼品店买了点东西给你 I got you some things from the gift shop
希望能让你高兴 to cheer you up.
我给你买了一本约翰·格里逊小说 I got you a John Grisham novel
还有一个搞笑咖啡马克杯 and a funny little coffee mug.
看见没 那只跳蚤的踏垫上写着 You see how the flea's door mat says
"温馨狗狗我的家" "Dog, sweet dog"?
雪瑞 咱俩心照不宣 Yeah. Shirley, we both know
我们是小组里最不受待见的两个人 that you and I are the most hated in the group.
是吗 We do?
一旦我撒手人寰 And since, in my absence,
你就会成为第二代害群黑羊... you'll be the new black sheep--
不好意思 种族歧视了 I'm sorry. That's offensive.
"黑天鹅" Black swan.
我希望你拿着这个 I want you to have this.
这是份压缩盘 It's a compact record and it
里面的音频文件记录了你不在场时 contains an audio file of your study group
学习小组背着你的那些中伤诽谤 talking about you while you're out of the room.
完全纪录 用光纤激光 It's all here, burnt into this diskette
刻录在软盘之上 by optical lasers.
我不相信你 I don't believe you.
我知道 这听起来是有点科幻 I know it sounds like science fiction.
不是 我不相信里面有什么中伤诽谤 No, I don't believe there's anything on that.
好吧 我们一别成永诀 Then I guess this is good-bye...forever.
再...再见 皮尔斯 Good--good-bye, pierce.
"烧"后再见 Smell you later.
他说这张碟里录了你们 He said it's a recording of you all
背后对我的中伤诽谤 talking behind my back.
太荒谬了 That's ridiculous.
我也是这么和他说的 That's what I told him,
因为你们不会那样做的 because you all don't do that.
对吧 Right?
霍桑先生要见"臭脸刻薄女" Mr. Hawthorne is requesting "Sour Face."
当当当 能进来吗 Knock, knock.
是你吗 死神 Is that you, death?
-是我 布雷塔 -哦 - It's Britta. - Oh.
无需多言 我只想告诉你 Before you speak, I just want to tell you
你不必赠给我什么 that you don't have to give me anything.
能陪你度过这些时光 我很开心 I am happy to just spend time with you.
你听说过迪兰·托马斯的死亡论吗 You know what Dylan Thomas said about death?
迪兰·托马斯:著名诗人 热衷生欲死三大主题
没有 告诉我吧 No, tell me.
惨了 拽文被拆穿 Okay, bluff called.
布雷塔 你是小组里面最无私的一位 对吗 Britta, you're the selfless one in the group, right?
不知道 我有好几年没有为自己想过了 I wouldn't know. I haven't thought about myself in years.
正因如此 你是接受这份遗赠的 That's what makes you the perfect recipient
最佳人选 of this bequeathment.
这是一张万元支票 It's a check for $10,000
收款人一栏空着 with the payee line blank,
你可以按自己的意愿捐给任何一家慈善机构 so that you can give it to the charity of your choice.
皮尔斯 这...真是出人意料 Pierce, this is... surprising.
你送给雪瑞那张光碟之后 After what you gave Shirley,
我们还以为你在玩心理游戏 We thought you were playing mind games.
谢谢 Thank you.
当然 如果你喜欢的话 Of course, if you are so inclined,
你也可以把自己的名字写在支票上 you could always write your own name in there.
再见咯 Toodles.
我不想死在这种地方 I don't want to die in a place like this.
人类不应该跟《人物》杂志一样烧成灰 People shouldn't die in the same place as People magazines do.
我死的时候希望家人在身边 I hope to die surrounded by my family.
只有我死的时候才允许我的家人在身边 That's the only way I agreed to be surrounded by my family.
我和阿布蒂有个协议 Me and abed have an agreement.
如果我俩谁先死了 另一个要把现场设计成 If one of us dies, we stage it to look like a suicide
因《宁静号》无端被砍而自杀的事件 caused by the unjust cancellation of Firefly.
我们会让那部剧集重新播出的 伙计 We're gonna get that show back on the air, buddy.
进行的如何 How'd it go?
什么 Huh?
挺好 Oh, fine.
他给了我一万美金的支票 He gave me a check for $10,000
让我选择慈善机构进行捐赠 to give to the charity of my choice.
看吧 他没有在整蛊我们 See? He's not messing with us.
-也许他只是讨厌雪瑞 -什么 - Maybe he just hates Shirley. - What?
是啊 也许吧 Yeah, maybe.
我要研究一下几个慈善机构 I just need to research a few charities,
因为有些机构钱没有用在刀刃上 because some take a lot off the top
你以为你把钱捐给了有需求的人 and you think you're giving money to people that really need it,
其实到最后钱进了某些中间人的口袋 and you're really giving it to some middle man
那个人会拿着钱付停车费 who's gonna pay off their parking tickets,
还信用卡 付房租以免被踢出 credit cards, and keep from getting kicked out
她的公寓...房租只交到四月 of her place in... april.
他想下一个见见安妮 He'd like to see Annie next.
我看还是算了 You know what? No.
他下一个要见杰夫 He'll see Jeff next.
不 你不应该现在进去... No, but you're not supposed to go--
又能怎样 你要少拿一半工资 Or what? You'll do twice as much work as a doctor
干两倍的活吗 for half the pay?
谢谢 Thank you?
这叫做"恭辱" It's called a complisult.
一半是恭维 一半是侮辱 Part compliment, part insult.
他发明了这个行为 我起的名字 He invented them. I coined the term.
看到我干了些什么吗 See what I just did there?
这叫做"解吹" That was an explanabrag.
-你好 杰夫瑞 -皮尔斯 - Hello, Jeffrey. - Pierce.
我曾多次想到过这一天 I've thought about this day many times,
但在我脑海里情景可不是这样 but I've always imagined it differently.
首先 在病床上的会是你 For starters, I thought you'd be the one in bed
而我则是三维投影人 and I'd be a hologram.
什么 What?
随便了 没时间说这些了 Ah, never mind. There's no time for that now.
皮尔斯 从其他人的境遇 Pierce, it's starting to seem,
我大致看出来 你在利用 from observing the others, that you're using
所谓的将死之时赋予你的社交优势 the social leverage afforded you by your alleged deathbed
对跟你最亲密的人 进行复杂的 to exact complicated acts of psychological vengeance
心理上的复仇 on those closest to you.
复仇 不 Vengeance? Oh, no.
我从来就不记仇的 杰夫瑞 I was never one to hold a grudge, Jeffrey.
我父亲就记仇 My father held grudges.
我总是恨他那样 I'll always hate him for that.
你跟你父亲合得来吗 Did you get along with your father?
没有他 我挺好的 I got along without him.
那样不好 杰夫瑞 Oh, that's no good, Jeffrey.
要是你还没跟老爸敞开心扉 You don't want your dad to die
他就归西了 你会很难过的 before you tell him how you feel.
说的在理 I'm sure you're right.
这个话题到此为止 Look, let's nip this in the bud.
皮尔斯 我们很抱歉没有及时 Pierce, we're sorry we didn't respond
抑制你的药物依赖行为 quickly enough to your pill addiction.
我这句迟到的道歉 还能否抚慰你将死的心 Is there any chance that apology is enough?
你准备好接受我的遗赠了吗 杰夫 Are you ready to be bequeathed upon, Jeff?
是的 Yeah.
让我大吃一惊吧 Blow my mind.
我找到你父亲了 I found your father.
是吗 Did you now?
威廉·翁格 1945年出生在俄克拉荷马市 William Winger, born Oklahoma City, 1945.
1974年 娶了多琳·费兹杰拉 1974, married Doreen Fitzgerald.
1983年离婚 Divorced in 1983.
现居住于多切斯特 Most recently residing in Dorchester.
目前正坐在前往这所医院的中巴上 Currently sitting in a town car on its way to this very hospital.
一个小时左右就应该能抵达 Should be here in an hour or so,
最迟不超过"一爹" give or take a father.
就这些吗 That it?
是的 Yep.
好吧 All right.
葬礼再见吧 See you at the funeral.
遗赠完毕 And so it is bequeathed.
你打算跟你爸爸说什么 What are you gonna say to your dad?
我什么都不会说 因为不必说 I'm not gonna say anything because I won't have to,
因为皮尔斯在跟我们玩心理游戏 because Pierce is playing head games with us.
我决定不听了 I've decided not to listen to it.
什么 What?
我不打算听这张你们 I'm not gonna listen to the cd
背后将我坏话的cd of you guys talking about me.
因为我原谅你们了 Because I forgive you.
我们怎么知道我们因为什么事被原谅了 But how do we know what we're being forgiven for?
我们都不知道那上面有什么 We don't even know what's on there.
你也不必知道了 And you never have to.
如果他要是真的来了呢 But what if he is coming, though?
你要跟他说什么 What are you gonna say to him?
来 我是他 我是他 Here. I'll be him. I'll be him.
你好 Hi. Hey.
我是杰夫的爸爸 你好 Hi, I'm Jeff's dad. Hi.
你好 杰夫的爸爸 Hi. Hi, Jeff's dad.
我是布雷塔的爸爸 I'm Britta's dad.
-什么 为什么 -我不知道 - What? Why? - I don't know.
喝醉了 没有套套 Got drunk, didn't have a condom,
而她妈妈听到奥格宾格乐队的歌就发疯 and her mom gets freaky when she hears Oingo Boingo.
天啊 真希望我能体会 Oh, god, I wish I could relate,
但是跟我儿子一样 我是深柜同性恋 but much like my son, I'm a closet homosexual.
别为那种事道歉 Don't apologize for that.
你眼前这家伙可是上了布雷塔的妈妈 You're talking to the guy that banged Britta's mom.
我没有底线 I have no standards.
要不我们上床吧 Well, what do you say we take a tumble?
我会带上假发 I'll put on a wig.
得了 你被捕了 That's it. You're under arrest.
我是个卧底警察 I'm an undercover cop.
同性恋又不犯法 It's not illegal to be gay.
在伊朗可是犯法的 It is here in iran.
不过我们在绿区就另当别论了 Not when we're in the green zone.
绿区：伊拉克的国际区
那是伊拉克 白痴 That's iraq, stupid.
我怎么会知道 Well, what do I know?
我是杰夫·翁格的呆瓜同志老爸 I'm Jeff Winger's dumb, gay dad.
我爸爸是个微不足道的江湖骗子 My father was a two-bit con man of so little substance
没水准到想留下行踪都留不下 he couldn't leave a trail if he wanted to.
就算皮尔斯雇佣了苏格兰场我也不在乎 And I don't care if Pierce hired scotland yard.
苏格兰场：英国情报组织
他不可能在病床上远程追踪我爸 He isn't gonna track him down from a hospital bed.
有钱也不能大变活人啊 I mean, money can't just make people appear.
打扰一下 Excuse me.
我在找特洛伊·巴恩斯 I'm looking for troy Barnes.
皮尔斯·霍桑让我来见他 Pierce Hawthorne sent me.
特洛伊 Hey, Troy?
你好啊 Hi.
我是勒瓦·波顿 I'm Levar Burton.
皮尔斯让勒瓦·波顿来见特洛伊吗 Pierce got Levar Burton to come here for Troy?
还有谁他不能变出来啊 Is there anyone he can't produce?
我现在真有点生气了 Now I'm really getting mad.
为什么我是唯一一个被他折磨的人啊 Why am I the only one he decided to torture?
我跟皮尔斯说过成百上千次了 I told Pierce a thousand times
我不想和勒瓦见面 I never wanted to meet Levar in person!
我只想要一张他的签名照 I just wanted a picture!
连一张照片都不能满足我 You can't disappoint a picture!
我恨你 皮尔斯 I hate you, Pierce!
我恨死你了 I hate you so much!
安妮 我原谅你了 Annie, I forgive you.
安妮·埃迪生 Annie Edison.
该轮到你受赠遗产了 Your bequeathal is at hand.
你就没别的正经事可干了吗 Do you have a regular job here?
安妮 我知道你一直都故作坚强 Annie, I know you're being strong for me.
想哭就哭吧 I give you permission to weep.
我一直有泪心里流 I'm crying on the inside.
好吧 Gross.
不论如何 Well, in any case,
我想把这个送给你 I want to give you this.
这东西在我们家已经传了六代了 It's been in my family for six generations.
现在它是你的了 Now it's yours.
谢谢你 Thank you.
杰夫 你想见你的父亲吗 Jeff, do you want to see your dad?
-他不会来的 -但是你想见他吗 - He's not coming. - But do you want to see him?
不想 No.
那你为什么不走呢 Then why aren't you leaving?
因为我并不在乎 我也不想 Because I don't care and I'm not
让他觉得我在乎他 gonna let him think that I care.
你指你老爸还是皮尔斯 Your dad or Pierce?
我没有爸爸 There is no dad.
把这玩意儿从我眼前拿开 and get this thing out of my face!
还有 要是你不把前面几个 And don't you dare intercut this
惊慌失措的镜头切掉的话 就算你狠 with footage of me freaking out.
这算是你惊慌失措的镜头吗 Is there footage of you freaking out?
阿布蒂 我想杀了你 Abed, I'm gonna kill you
还有皮尔斯和布雷塔 and Pierce and Britta
所有觉得我在乎这件事的人 and anyone else who thinks I care about any of this!
你是在这附近上学吗 So do you go to school nearby?
你对我哪个节目更熟悉啊 Well, are you more familiar with me
是《星际迷航》还是《悦读彩虹》 from Star Trek or Reading Rainbow?
《悦读彩虹》是从1983到2005年PBS电视台的儿童节目
《悦读彩虹》是我主持并制作了25年的节目 Reading Rainbow was a show I hosted and produced
一直在PBS播出 for 25 years on PBS.
没看过吗 Ever seen it?
* 蝴蝶飞翔在蓝天 * * Butterfly in the sky*
* 我能飞的更高远 * *I can go twice as high*
* 来看一看 * *Take a look*
* 书中有一切 * *It's in a book*
* 悦读彩虹 * *Reading Rainbow-ow-ow*
* 悦读彩虹 * *Reading Rainbow*
* 光刀劈向"爱我" * *Set phasers to "Love me"!*
你这是什么意思 What does it mean?
什么我什么意思啊 What do you mean "What does it mean"?
别打马虎眼 No riddles.
你把每个人都给惹毛了 You're screwing around with everyone.
只给了我一个王冠 你什么意思啊 You gave me a tiara. What does it mean?
这些 这些是不是血钻 Are these--are these blood diamonds?
是不是大屠杀之后留下的钻石 Are they holocaust diamonds?
不是 No!
那你什么意思啊 Well, what does it mean?
我只是想说你是我的最爱 It means you're my favorite.
那又到底是什么意思啊 What does that mean?
我做到了 I did it.
我把钱捐了 I gave away the money.
红十字会 The red cross.
你知道这让我置身何境吗 You know what that makes me?
一个烂人 A terrible person.
要不是那个摄像机一直对着我的话 Because if that camera wasn't on me,
我肯定把那笔钱私吞了 I would have taken that money
硬生生从那些瘸腿的 饥饿的 right out of the mouths of crippled,
疟疾缠身的难民小朋友的嘴里抢过来 starving, malaria-ridden refugee kids
现在我永远都知道自己的德行了 and now I know that forever.
多亏了你 皮尔斯 Thanks, Pierce.
布雷塔 你应该原谅你自己 Britta, you've got to forgive yourself.
看看我 Look at me.
我就原谅了你们背着我干的这龌龊事 I've forgiven all of you for the horrible things--
雪瑞还是大声哭出来吧 把那张光盘给我 Oh, for crying out loud, Shirley, give me that CD.
-哦 -我们一起来听听怎么样 - Oh! - We're gonna listen to it.
我可不想听 I don't want to listen to it.
求你了 布雷塔 求你了 Britta, please. Britta.
布雷塔 等一等 Britta, wait.
布雷塔 Britta!
我马上回来啊 I'll be right back.
我不在的时候不许接着往下学哟 Don't learn anything without me.
你们有多讨厌雪瑞 So how much do we all hate Shirley?
皮尔斯 把那个关了 Pierce, knock it off.
切 别装詹姆斯·邦德了 别再那个 Hey, James bond, stop trying to record us
破录音笔录我们说的话 with that stupid spy pen.
我们都能看到灯在闪呢 We can see the blinking light.
为什么你一直要录我们 Why do you keep trying to record us
说彼此的坏话啊 bad-mouthing each other?
因为他认为友谊是一种竞争 Because he thinks friendship is a competition
再说他经常想掌控全局 and he's always trying to get the upper hand.
你们就对雪瑞没有什么意见吗 Think Shirley's any different?
-没有 -白痴 - Yes. - Moron.
雪瑞看来我们真的欠你个道歉 Guess we do owe you an apology, Shirley.
我们不应该那么说你 We shouldn't have said those things about you.
我觉得我在这上了一课 I guess the lesson here is
我有些时把罪恶感当成了武器 that I sometimes use guilt as a weapon.
你在干嘛 What are you doing?
就是在录一个头部特写自白 Oh, just shooting a talking head
莫非 你想让我成为唯一一个 or did you want me to be the only one.
没有特写独白的人吗 who didn't have one?
没事 继续吧 No, go ahead.
我认为这个破习惯是因为 I think it stems from when I was--
你找到我老爸了 So you found my father?
是的 他正在路上 Yes, he's on his way.
如果这对你来说太难以承受 I mean, if this is too much to handle,
如果你想取消会面我完全理解 I completely understand and I can call it off.
事实上 我已经做好了见他的准备 Actually, I think I'm ready to see him.
好的 好小子 Good. Good for you.
我必须得告诉你一点 Oh, I should probably tell you...
如果你骗我 如果我老爸没来 If you're lying to me, if my father isn't coming,
如果车开过来 走出来的不是我爸 if a car pulls up and anyone other than my father
而是一个演员或者是戴着假发的你 steps out--say, an actor or you in a wig--
如果你想上演《春天不是读书天》中的戏码 If you try to pull any Ferris Bueller,
《春天不是读书天》1986年的电影 讲的是装病逃课的故事
或者是《天生一对》《三人成虎》《魔鬼任务》 Parent trap, three's company, F/X,
《血连环续集》 The deadly art of illusion bull,
我就揍扁你... I will beat you...
出手好不迟疑 决不手软 And there will be nothing madcap or wacky about it.
明白吗 Understood?
清晰明了 Crystal.
-我是勒瓦 -我知道 - I'm Levar. - Oh, I know.
我是《咆哮》的铁杆粉丝 I was a huge fan of rebop.
七十年代末PBS播出的儿童剧集
我出生之前就被砍了 It was cancelled before I was born,
但我找到了一些录像带 But I scored some vhs copies.
我打小就怀旧 I was nostalgic from a very early age.
真好 Cool.
是这样 我以为特洛伊是我粉丝呢 Hey, you know, I assumed that Troy was a fan,
可他从我来了以后都一言不发 But he hasn't said a word to me since I got here
现在我得去赶航班了 And now I've got to catch this flight.
不 不 你不能走 No! No! You can't go.
他超爱你 He loves you.
整天把你挂嘴边上 He talks about you all the time.
要你把航班改签到明天得花多少钱 How much would it cost to change your flight till tomorrow?
261美元够用不 Is, um, $261 enough?
我就剩这么多了 'cause that's all I've got.
-你就剩这么多了? -对 - That's all you've got? - Yeah.
不用了 你把钱收好 No, you--you keep your money.
我会改签的 I'll--I'll reschedule.
老天爷 谢谢你 Oh, my god. Thank you.
他肯定高兴死了 He's gonna be so happy.
知道吗 你作为朋友够义气 You know, you are a very generous friend,
但你花起钱来也太没大脑了 But you're really stupid with your money.
原来我不是自私 It's not that I'm selfish.
只是我花钱没大脑 It's just that I'm really stupid with my money,
所以我注定一辈子一穷二白 Which is why I'll never have a lot of it
还有个原因 我对朋友太义气了 And because I'm a really generous friend.
问题解决 Problem solved.
困难清除 Dilemma deleted.
布雷塔必胜 Britta for the win!
还要他没收钱 Oh, thank god he didn't take it.
你能想象把钱送给昆塔·金塔吗 Could you imagine bouncing a check to Kunta Kinte?
昆塔·金塔：勒瓦·波顿在迷你剧中饰演的角色
喂 Hello?
杰夫瑞 我是你爸 Jeffrey, this is your father.
然后呢 Uh-huh?
我就在这辆车里 It's me here in this sedan.
看见没 我挥手呢 See? I'm waving.
抱歉我不能靠近了 我的孩子 I'm sorry I can't come any closer, my boy.
实在太难受了 This is too difficult.
你长的真像你妈 You look too much like your mother.
不 不 别靠近 No, no. Don't come any closer.
就待在那里 As you were.
我还得赶飞机去加德满都呢 Well, have to catch a flight to katmandu,
但我想说一句 珍惜新交的朋友 But I just wanted to say cherish the new friends that you've made.
现在他们就是你的家人 They're your true family now!
别 别开门 No! Don't open it!
这对我们俩来说都太煎熬了 It'll be too hard for both of us!
-杰夫 -杰夫 - Oh, Jeff! - Jeff!
狗娘养... Son of a...
杰夫 Jeff!
不 不 不 No, no, no!
搞这种即兴恶作剧 When you improvise a plan,
有时候就会撞到减速带 sometimes you hit a speed bump.
有时候撞得太剧烈了 And sometimes you hit it so hard
结果你就飞到天上去了 That you soar through the air,
完全超出预期 Far beyond your initial expectations.
我本来想报复杰夫·翁格 I set out to take revenge on Jeff Winger,
装成他老爹来吓唬他 to scare him with the ghost of his father.
结果呢 我却接过了他老爹的接力棒 Instead, I took over the role of his father,
助他成长 and helped make him a better man.
要过很久很久 小样杰夫·翁格 It'll be a long time before Jeff Winger
才会理解我的苦心 underestimates me again.
杰夫 不 Jeff, no!
你丫为毛要做这种事 Why would you do something like this?
杰夫 别这样 杰夫 Jeff! Come on, Jeff!
我再也受不了你们 I'm sick of you people
把我当个屁 not taking me seriously!
忘记老子生日不说 You forget my birthday!
玩《龙与地下城》也不叫上老子 You don't invite me to your dungeons and dragons games
秘密蹦床也不喊我 Or your secret trampoline!
你们把爷我当个笑话吗 You guys think I'm some kind of a joke!
你做这种事我们就会对你好吗 This isn't disproving the theory!
在理 Good point.
你说什么 你丫说啥 What'd you say? What'd you say?
你丫说啥 What did you say?
很显然 我跟我爹有话说 Apparently I need to say some things to my father.
结果却冲着皮尔斯喊了出来 Things that I may have screamed at Pierce instead.
当然了 他也活该 I'm not saying he doesn't deserve it.
但我爹也活该 But my father deserves it too.
皮尔斯 Pierce?
我弄明白你的深意了 I figured out your test.
皇冠 礼物 惩罚 最爱 Crowns, presents, punishments, favorites.
你是想告诫我 太要强要不得 You're trying to show me the dangers of my own elitism.
而我又是一个争取第一到永远的人 My constant striving to be the best.
所以我要归还这个皇冠 So I'm requeathing this tiara.
因为如果我成为这种烂人 Because if I become the kind of person
自以为可以选择喜欢哪种人 who thinks it's their place to pick favorites
然后折磨其他人 那我将孤独终老 and torture the rest, I'll die sad and alone.
这也正是你的血泪教训 And that's what you were trying to teach me.
说的真好 安妮 Very good, Annie.
你通过了 You pass.
其实就是最爱 没别的意思 She's actually just my favorite.
我一直以为拍纪录片 So I thought the documentary format
如池中之鱼一般 would be like fish in a barrel,
但对于池中之鱼来说 But as is the case with a real barrel of fish,
假以时日 也会出现问题 after a while, it can become cramped,
混乱 散发臭气 Chaotic, and stinky.
幸运的是 如果你拍出的纪录片 Fortunately, if in the end, your documentary is turning out
正如真实生活般混乱不堪 Just as messy as real life,
你就可以把一系列随机镜头 You can always wrap it up with a series
排列组合 剪辑到一起 of random shots, which when cut together
加上背景音 under a generic voice-over,
整部片子就会一条深邃的主线 Suggest a profound thematic connection.
我不是批判这种方法 I'm not knocking it.
确实有效 It works.
伙计们 Guys.
杰夫和我... Jeff and I became...
今天有如父子一般 kind of like father and son today.
我们没有 No, we did not.
特洛伊 我跟你说 Troy, I am telling you, man,
这鲑鱼真不错 this salmon is really good.
能帮我把胡椒递过来吗 Would you mind passing me the pepper?
* 蝴蝶飞翔在蓝天 * * Butterfly in the sky *
* 我的飞得更高远 * * I can go twice as high *
* 来看一看 * * Take a look *
* 书中有一切 * * It's in a book *
* 悦读彩虹 * * The reading rainbow *
昆塔还要在来点鱼 Well, more fish for Kunta.