我跟汤姆一起去了厕所 So I go into the bathroom with Tom,
Tom Sizemore: 演员 其姓氏有"大一号"的意思
你们懂的 我们把家伙都掏了出来 and we both, you know... take 'em out.
我就说"大一号 还是再小一号吧" And I say, "Size more? Try size less."
我也想去戒毒 和名人比谁的鸟大 I wanna go to rehab and compare penises with famous people.
爷可以满足你 小子 All I could done, kiddo.
皮尔斯 我们很高兴你回来 Well, uh, Pierce, we're very glad to have you back.
我是这样想的 你们呢 I'm assuming. You?
那...我们现在干什么 So...what should we do now?
尽管我不想当扫兴鬼 Well, I don't wanna be that guy,
但是我们得开始学习人类学了 but I guess we should start studying anthropology.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 Okay. Um...
第四章 Chapter Four.
-大家好 -谢天谢地 - Hello! - Oh, thank god!
赞 Yes!
天啊 Oh, my god.
-感谢你们 -什么事 院长 - Thank you. - What is it, Dean?
我有好消息 Oh, haha. I have exciting news.
美国副总统乔·拜登 Vice President Joe Biden
正在全国走访社区大学 has been visiting community colleges across the country
进行他的"拜登谈教育"巡讲 as part of his "Biden Time Talkin' 'bout Teachin'" Tour.
亲民 而又与时俱进 Mm, folksy, yet progressive.
他的确有那种风范 He does walk that line.
总之呢 他的巡讲来到了咱们这儿疙瘩 Anyway, his tour is taking him to this neck of the woods,
在今天下午 他就会抵达格林德尔 In 5:00 p.m. today, he is stopping by Greendale!
羡慕去吧 城市学院 Eat that, city college and wash it down
愿你们喝下一大杯"嫉妒恨" with a nice tall glass of suck it.
副总统要来了 The Vice President is coming.
这也就解释了我看到的那些 That explains the people I've noticed
秘密监视校园的人们 covertly surveilling the campus this week.
一定是特勤部的人 Must be secret service.
阿布蒂 你的真人秀什么时候出蓝光版 oh, Abed, will your reality ever come out on blu-ray
-好让我们欣赏下 -我们暴露了 - so we can enjoy it? - We've been made.
唯一的问题是 拜登先生本应该 Only problem: Mr. Biden is supposed to be meeting
和院长 with the Dean...
以及学生会主席会面 and the head of our student government,
而我们目前连学生会都没有 which in its current form doesn't exist.
所以说我们有七个小时选出一位学生会主席 So we have seven hours to elect a student president.
我要穿什么呢 Ah, what am I gonna wear?
我倒是可以借我妹妹那套山姆大叔的服装 I mean, I could borrow my sister's Uncle Sam outfit.
那是按女士身材裁剪的 It's tailored for ladies
但是这种紧急情况我有什么办法呢 but what else can I do on such short notice?
你可以不打扮成山姆大叔 Well, you can not dress up like Uncle Sam.
或者是承认你没有妹妹 or admit you don't have a sister.
我们要竞选学生会主席了 We're electing a student president.
我要参加 I wanna run!
我有很多关于改善学校的想法 I have so many ideas for improving the school.
改善格林德尔不仅仅需要想法 安妮 Improving Greendale takes more than ideas, Annie.
需要时间 汽油 火柴 It takes time, gasoline, matches.
说得好 Mm, nice.
告诉你 杰夫 我们有人拥有更崇高的目标 Well, news flash, Jeff. Some of us care about more
翁格经典语录
而不单单是弄发型 练腹肌 than just fixing our hair and sculpting our abs.
天呐 你真是把我琢磨透了 Wow. You got me pegged.
提到俺的腹肌
民主制 真是扯谈 Democracy. What a ruse.
根本就不存在民主制 There's no such thing as a system in which
-尤其是在这样一个... -大家都希望你闭嘴 - the masses hold any-- - Everyone wants you to shut up.
我偏不 刚好证明我的观点 And yet I won't. Case in point.
没事闲得划杠
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
■
翻译：大卫熊 夕橙 米粒 小独
■
校对：米粒 时间轴：崽猪
■
后期：WiLL 监制：米粒
■
《废柴联盟》 第二季 第17集 iTunes 720p版本调教：Tears
在美国 我们总以为民主是理所当然 We tend to take democracy for granted in America.
但事实是很多人为了我们今日 But the fact is men have fought and died
拥有的神圣的权利 抛头颅 洒热血 for the sacred right we exercise today.
那么谁想成为学生会主席 So anyone who wants to be president,
就到冰激凌机那去排队 line up by the ice cream machine.
你们的掌声将决定谁会入围初选 Your applause will determine who gets into the primaries.
没错 这是件女式山姆大叔服装 And yes, this is a ladies Uncle Sam outfit.
是我妹妹的 但是我没时间准备 It's my sister's. It was last-minute.
我别无选择 I had no choice.
不知道是不是这个妹妹给我发"推特" I wonder if that's the same sister that tweets me
问我觉得她哥帅不帅 to ask if I think her brother's cute.
杰夫 我给你的那沓 Jeff, what happened to
竞选传单哪去了 that pile of campaign fliers I gave you?
我把它们都挂起来了 I hung 'em all up.
算你狠 Real nice.
让你参与其中这个要求很过分吗 Is it too much to ask you to pitch in?
抱歉 我不是工蜂那种类型 I'm sorry, Annie. I'm not the worker bee type.
我是银背大猩猩 有着狮的利爪 I'm more of a silverback gorilla with the claws a lion,
鲨的牙齿和龟的傲骨 the teeth of a shark, and the quiet dignity of a tortoise.
好 首先上场的是这位 All right. First up is this fella.
来 上来 Let's go. Come on.
告诉大家你的名字 All right, tell everybody your name.
-加瑞特 -好的 加瑞特 - Garrett. - okay, Garrett.
你为什么想要当主席 And why do you want to be president?
我想吃冰激凌 就去排队了 I wanted ice cream, so I got in line--
好的 他想要冰激凌 Okay, okay. He wanted ice cream.
大家什么意见 So what do we say, gang?
他能晋级下一轮吗 Does he make it to the next round?
用掌声告诉我 By applause.
我们有了第一位候选人 Oh! We've got our first nominee.
好了 标准已经订好了 All right, the bar has been set.
好的 站到一边 站到一边 All right, stand to the side. Stand to the side.
你知道吗 You know what?
至少工蜂能将自我利益放到一边 At least worker bees can set aside their egos
一同为了更高利益奋斗 and join together to support a larger cause.
是啊 政治最关心更高利益了 Oh, right, because politics are all about larger causes.
面对现实吧 安妮 Face it, Annie.
政治就是比谁能吹 Politics are all about ego,
谁受欢迎 谁会耍小伎俩 popularity, and parlor tricks.
别糊弄我这个律师 Don't kid a lawyer.
我要是看到律师 我会注意的 Well, if I see one, I won't.
是个女生 看啊 Oh, it's a girl! Look at this.
她穿着黄上衣 戴一顶帽子 She's got a yellow shirt and a hat.
你是谁 亲爱的 Who are you, sweetie?
薇琪 Uh, Vicki.
谁支持薇琪 Who's up for some Vicki, huh?
阿布蒂·纳德尔 我是特别探员罗宾·沃勒斯 Abed Nadir, I'm Special Agent Robin Vohlers.
这位是美国特勤局 This is Special Agent Keenlan
特别探员基兰 of The United States Secret Service.
我们要搜查你的个人物品 Will you submit to a search of your personal belongings?
好的 Sure.
我想请问 你是怎样注意 If I may ask, how did you notice
到校园被人监视的 the campus was being observed?
我之所以会注意到是因为一般只有我监视 I guess I noticed because I'm used to being the only observer.
我们很少被注意到 Well, we're not used to being noticed.
这话说起来好伤感 That sounds a little sad.
他没有嫌疑 He's clean.
不过我倒是可以因为这张 Although I could issue a warning
盗版的《最后的风之子》发一份警告 for this bootleg of The Last Airbender.
你怎么不早一周来没收 Where were you a week ago?
你留着吧 You can keep it.
又一位成功入围 Well, another one makes the cut.
恭喜你 伦纳德 Congratulations, Leonard.
太棒了 Oh, yes, wonderful.
下一位 安妮·埃迪生 Next up, Annie Edison.
我叫安妮·埃迪生 My name is annie edison.
如果我成功当选 我保证把格林德尔 And if elected, I promise to make Greendale
变成格林德尔西部四分之三地区 the signature community college of the entire western
-最具标致性的社区大学 -安妮 - 3/4 of the Greendale area. - Annie!
看来你入围了 安妮 Oh, whoa! Looks like you're in the running, annie.
看起来很难不入围 下一位 Looks like it is hard not to be. Next up--
抱歉 我来感觉了 我先来 I'm sorry. Hey, I got the heat, I gotta go.
我认为人类不应该被统治 I believe that humankind need not be governed.
姐不稀罕 I don't care.
还好 看来也不是每个人都能入围的 Well, it's good to know there's a floor on this thing.
谢谢你 派利小姐 Thank you, Miss Perry.
安妮 我太为你骄傲了 Oh, Annie, I'm so proud of you.
你很受大家拥戴啊 People love you.
我认为咱们学校是一个很好的学校 I believe this campus is a good place,
所有的人都很不错 只是迫切需要有人 filled with good people who just need someone
能保护他们的兴趣所爱 to protect their interests.
杰夫·翁格 Jeff Winger!
我叫杰夫 不是政客 My name is Jeff. I'm no politician.
我只是个普通的男生 I'm just a fella.
我认为啤酒就该是凉的 I think that beer should be cold
靴子就该是脏的 and boots should be dusty.
我认为911是不幸的 I think 9/11 was bad.
而自由 我认为 And freedom, well,
是比以上更美好一点的东西 I think that's just a little bit better.
现场直播 格林德尔社区大学电视台
倒计时已经开始了 The countdown has begun.
今晚之战 一名学生将荣登主席宝座 And fight tonight, one student will be president
最后抉择-通往竞争之路
同时其余的人则将黯然收场 while the rest will simply be.
格林德尔校台 我是阿布蒂·纳德尔 For Greendale Campus TV, I'm Abed Nadir.
我是特洛伊·"屁屁羹"·巴恩斯 I'm Troy "Butt Soup" Barnes.
笑毛 这就是爷的名号 What? That's my name.
首先我们进入第一轮辩论环节 As we head into the first round of the debates,
有八位候选人脱颖而出 there are eight candidates in the lead.
安妮·埃迪生 聪明迷人 但易怒 Annie Edison--smart, attractive, but easily vexed.
"我相信格林德尔" 19岁大胸辣妹 校园改革党
伦纳德·罗德里格斯 他是不是改姓了 Leonard Rodriguez-- - did he change his last name?
"我记得所有的战争" 年龄不详 非西裔
是的 他试图争取西班牙裔人的投票 Yeah, he's trying to court the hispanic vote.
绰号:赌王之王 自由党派
亚历山大·星霸·奥斯本 Alex "Starburns" Osbourne--
"俺很性感" 46岁 柬埔寨人
怪人 瞅着像希腊人 八成是毒贩子 Creepy. Seems greek. Possible drug dealer.
DJ艺名:火花 合法党派
-杰夫·翁格 -大众情人 - Jeff Winger. - Crowd favorite.
"我从不后悔" 北欧裔
人称情圣翁格 They call him Hot Wings.
最怕女人眼泪 自由主义者
-磁太太 -磁性姿态的简称 - Magnitude. - Short for magnetic attitude.
"济慈说人类即使醒着也如同沉睡" 16岁
他一人就能撑起聚会 He's a one-man party.
眼睛颜色: 紫外线色 成功混音黑眼豆豆 党派:你懂得
皮尔斯·霍桑 湿巾大巫师 Pierce Hawthorne. The wizard of wet wipes.
"去你妈" 66岁猛男
我跟这哥们一起住哦 I live with that dude.
跟布鲁海文国家实验室旅行一暑假
他有夜惊毛病和一部转盘拨号电话 He's got night terrors and a rotary phone.
最爱罗马帝王卡利古拉 皮尔斯·霍桑党
-加勒特 -这老兄太怂了 - Garrett. - That guy's just a mess.
"偶稀饭冰淇淋" 过敏物品:花粉 青霉素 宠物毛 花生 草莓
像是天上掉下来的 It's like god spilled a person.
豚草 灰尘 干草 麸子 乳制品 水等等等等
-还有薇琪 -黄上衣 戴帽子 - And Vicki. - Yellow shirt, hat.
要知道 我们得扪心自问 阿布蒂 Girl--you know, you gotta ask yourself right now, Abed.
-现在政治到底是怎么了 -没错没错 - What's up with politics? - Yeah, yeah.
你说得很对 特洛伊 You're precisely right, Troy.
据称他们已经胸有成竹蓄势待发 You know, I hear they're getting ready to start,
下面就来看看辩论赛的详细报道 so we'll turn it over to coverage of the debates.
那是什么人 Who's that?
特别探员沃勒斯 美国特勤处的 Special Agent Vohlers. United states secret service.
你是不是经常有自己的副线故事 Do you just constantly have your own little side adventures?
正解 Yep.
我也一样 Me too.
杰夫 放弃吧 Jeff, knock it off.
你根本不是真心来竞选的 You're not running sincerely.
你对学生会全无兴趣 You're not even interested in student government.
我知道 可哥人见人爱 I know, and yet, the people love me.
更显得政治不过是一个大笑话 It's almost as if politics were a huge joke.
好吧 听着 Okay, look.
抱歉之前请你帮我贴传单 I'm sorry I asked you to hang my fliers,
但我建议你及早知难而退 but I suggest you drop out right now,
因为本姑娘不仅要打你个风中凌乱 because not only will I beat you,
还要打的你内牛满面 I will make you cry.
我感觉东边吹来了一阵 Oh, I feel a slight ego
小小的自负之气 blowing in from the east.
待会让你尝尝我打南边踢来的无影脚 You're gonna feel my foot blowing in from the south.
放马过来吧 庞塞·德莱昂 Bring it on, Ponce De Leon.
航海家 西班牙征服者
拭目以待吧 格雷格·穆大拿 I'm gonna, Greg Muldunna.
这人真的有 It's a real guy.
他在商业区有个床垫专卖店 He owns a mattress store downtown.
不信尽管去查 You can look it up.
嘿 薇琪 Hey, Vicki.
薇琪 看我看我再看我 Vicki, look at me. Psst!
-我将会蹂躏你 -皮尔斯 - I'm going to crush you. - Pierce!
别抽风了 Stop that!
我要吃掉你的脑子 薇琪 I'm gonna eat your brains, Vicki.
我要在你所谓的脑袋瓜里 I'm gonna slurp 'em right out of that melon
吃他个唏哩呼噜 you call a head.
提醒所有的候选人 A reminder to all candidates:
你们的麦克风现在可正开着呢 Your microphones are currently on.
开着最好 因为大爷我战火激昂 Well, they better be, 'cause I'm on fire up here.
你把大家吓着了 明白不 You freak people out, you know that?
你长的很怪 You look weird...
因为你那一口大暴牙 because of your overbite.
好了 赶紧开始吧 Okay, let's just get started.
欢迎来到格林德尔社区大学 Welcome to the Greendale Community College
学生会主席辩论赛 Presidential debate.
候选人们 如果当选了 Candidates, if elected,
你们有什么措施 what will you do?
安妮请说 Oh, Annie?
我的政治主张是改善学校环境 I'm running on a platform of school improvement.
如果我当选 东边楼梯井里的 If I'm elected, the black mold
黑霉将会被完全去除 will be removed from the east stairwell.
那群所谓的"匪帮"混混们 The assailant known only as
也会被绳之以法 "The asscrack bandit" will be brought to justice.
而我将通过削减行政管理人员 And I will balance the school's budget
来平衡学校的预算 by eliminating administrative redundancies.
好吧 姐还听着呢 Okay. I'm in the room.
谢谢你 安妮·埃迪生 Thank you, Miss Edison.
翁格先生 Mr. Winger?
这个问题非常重要 Well, that's an important question.
对杰里米而言 这很重要 And it's important to students like Jeremy,
今天他告诉我他主修天文学 who told me today that he is majoring in Astronomy
家里还有两个娃要养 and is supporting two children.
对玛丽亚而言 同样重要 It's an important question to Maria,
她是一位拉丁美女 生于尼加拉瓜 who's a beautiful latina born in Nicaragua,
在自助餐厅打工 working in the cafeteria.
我该怎么做呢 院长 What will I do, Dean?
这些人并不想听我满口承诺 Well, these people don't want me to say what I'll do.
他们想让我有诺必允 They want me to do what I'll say.
群众就爱这种颠来倒去的文字游戏 They love it when you shuffle the words around.
磁太太 Magnitude?
噼里啪啦砰砰 Pop! Pop!
我晕 Oh, no!
一样的问题 Same question.
一样的答案 Same answer.
噼里啪啦砰砰 Pop! Pop!
介意我问你几个问题吗 纳德尔先生 Mind if I ask you a few questions, Mr. Nadir?
问吧 Okay.
你一年级留级有什么具体原因吗 Was there a specific reason you had to repeat the first grade?
据我所知 Well, from what I'm told,
因为我不会用剪刀 I didn't know how to use scissors,
我坐在跷跷板的中间 I sat in the middle of the seesaw,
还有我经常觉得 and I always found the distinction
鸭子和鹅没什么大区别 between duck and goose to be very arbitrary.
你每次都选六岁儿童任务题不就行了 Couldn't you just pick the Sixth Kid every time?
我就是 That's what I...
这么想的 would have done.
我都选四岁的 I went with four.
哎哟 你俩干脆去开房好了 Geez, get a room, you two.
皮尔斯·霍桑 你有何高见 Pierce Hawthorne, your platform?
内容是啥无所谓 只要够高 My platform will be one high enough
高到能弄死薇琪就行 to push Vicki off to her death.
薇琪 Vicki!
看来薇琪退出竞争了 It looks like Vicki is out of the race.
好吧 那我也退了 Oh, well, then I am too.
我来这就是为了报复她 I was only here to get back at her
谁让她不借我铅笔 for not lending me a pencil.
真大度 Okay. Wow.
好吧 Uh, well...
能言归正传吗 Can we get back on track here?
我只想把东楼梯间里 I just want to get the black mold
所有的黑霉都铲除 out of the east stairwell.
我只想净化格林德尔 I just want to clean up greendale.
你是说格林德尔很肮脏吗 Are you saying greendale is dirty?
说错话咯 Oh, boo.
-丢银 -呃 - Boo. - Well...
当然肮脏了 Of course it's dirty.
大家心知肚明 Everyone knows that.
我就不知 安妮 I don't, Annie.
我认为这里很纯净 I think it's clean.
我认为这是全国 I think it's the cleanest school
最纯净的学校 in the entire country.
就是 You know it is.
看来杰夫·翁格势在必得啊 Looks like Jeff Winger's really got this thing in the bag.
确实如此 特洛伊 Sure does, Troy.
不管你怎么说 Say what you will about this or that,
这家伙就是招人喜欢 but people just like the guy.
听好了 Read my lips...
不论何种言论 No matter what you're told...
黑霉必须整顿 We have to clean the mold.
不论何种言论 No matter what you're told...
黑霉必须整顿 We have to clean the mold!
就是这样 朋友们 That's right, people!
不论何种言论 No matter what you're told...
黑霉必须整顿 We have to clean the mold.
-一起来 -耶 - Come on. - Yeah!
有意思 Well, this is interesting.
安妮·埃迪生已将其政见 Annie Edison has reduced her platform
简化为具体问题 问题又简化为口号 to one issue and turned that issue into a sound bite.
还押韵呢 大家都喜欢 And it rhymes and people love it.
竞选已经进入白垩化 This election's become a real horse race.
根据民调结果 现在选民支持率 According to our polls, the campus is almost
平分秋色 evenly divided.
大家记住 此项民调的误差幅度 Now keep in mind the margin of error
约为百分之九十八 on this thing is about 98%.
或者更高 Could be higher.
我们根本不知道怎么算误差幅度 We don't even know how to do margins of error.
就问了下自动贩卖机旁边的俩人 We talked to two people at a vending machine.
领导让我们休息一下 Well, I'm being told we're taking a quick break,
-但别换台 -他们换不了 - But stay tuned. - They have to stay tuned.
-这是闭路电视 -不懂你说啥 - It's closed circuit television. - Don't know what that means.
好了 掐 And we're out.
给杯苹果汁 行不 Can I get an apple juice, please?
拜托要鲜榨的 莫里斯 Freshly squeezed this time or so help me god, Maurice.
阿布蒂 那帮穿西装的 Abed, those guys in the suits
正在你宿舍搞破坏呢 are trashing your dorm room real bad, bro.
你们干什么 What are you doing?
随机检查 纳德尔先生 Random spot check, Mr. Nadir.
别影响我们 Stay out of our way.
无可疑物品 Nothing suspicious.
格伦 去把车开过来 Glenn, bring the car around.
你在找什么 罗宾 What are you looking for, Robin?
化肥 汽车电池 塑料管 Fertilizer, car battery, pvc piping,
像是用来自制炸药的
任何可疑物品 Anything suspicious.
因为你觉得我可疑吗 Because you think I'm suspicious?
还是希望我可疑 Or because you wish I was suspicious,
这样就可以借机多见我 so that you would have an excuse to see more of me.
只是随机检查而已 This was a random spot check.
-你对我有意思吗 -与这个无关 - Do you like me? - That's not really relevant.
到这就可以了 That's close enough.
你确定吗 Are you sure?
你有一股香皂味儿 You smell like nice soap.
我得走了 I have to go.
你对国家的潜在威胁并不明显 I'm sorry you weren't a more obvious
我感到很遗憾 potential threat to the country.
大家对黑霉这件事反应挺强烈 People are pretty excited about this black mold issue.
咱走着瞧 We'll see.
待会儿结题陈述的时候 我在琢磨 For my closing statement, I'm thinking
要不要上铁锤砸西瓜 about smashing a watermelon with a hammer.
杰夫 要是我承认政治很傻缺 Jeff, if I admit politics are stupid,
那你能别在这搅浑水吗 Will you stop making them stupid?
你这样会抢选票 到最后说不定 You're gonna split the vote and starburns
让星霸当上主席了 is gonna end up president.
只有我才是想做点实事的人 I'm the only one up here who's trying to get something done.
你以为是想做就能做的吗 And you deserve to be allowed to do it?
你当自己天生就是政治家吗 You're entitled to be president?
那咱就撕破脸皮了 听明白没 The gloves are coming off. You understand me?
我手头有影音报告哦 I have an audio-visual presentation.
哎哟 我好怕怕 Wow. I'm shaking.
你是该害怕 你是该如此 You should be. You should be.
好了 我们继续 All right, let us resume.
星霸 还没听到你对黑霉这事 Star-burns, we haven't heard from you
发表见解呢 on this black mold issue.
好吧 我要放弃候选资格 Yeah, I actually withdraw my candidacy.
我怕参与政治 I fear a political career will shine
会给我的毒贩生涯沾上污点 a negative light on my drug dealing.
谢谢 Thank you.
院长 在这场选举演变为黑霉讨论会之前 Dean, before this election stops being about the issues,
我要问对方一个问题 I have a question for my opponents.
你最喜欢什么颜色 What's your favorite color?
我最喜欢三色领带 Mine's a three-way tie.
红白蓝[美国国旗色] Red, white, and blue.
磁太太 有什么要说吗 Magnitude, a response?
院长 你懂的 I think you know, dean.
噼里啪啦砰砰 Pop! Pop!
我故意的 Oh, I set him up.
我要做一段影音报告 院长 I have an audio-visual presentation, dean.
听起来很有意思 Oh, well, that sounds interesting.
报告是什么内容 安妮 What's your presentation, Annie?
我报告的内容是杰夫·翁格在1997年 My presentation is a copy of Jeff Winger's
参加MTV真实世界试镜的视频 1997 audition tape for mtv's the real world.
什么 什么 What? What?
开始放吧 谢谢 Let's just roll it. Thanks.
大家好 我是杰夫·翁格 Hey, I'm Jeff Winger and I'd love
我想参演MTV的真实世界:西雅图篇 to be on mtv's real world: seattle.
展示一下这个 So check this out.
要是能上MTV Well I guess it would be nice
估计感觉不赖 if I could be on mtv
所以请你请你看看我 So please please take a look at me
来真实世界 for the real world
我会申请两次 Oh I'm gonna apply twice
你从哪搞来的 Where the hell did you get that?
同志们 你们想让谁下午五点和乔·拜登握手 Folks, who do you want shaking Joe Biden's hand at 5 P.M.?
我还是这位仁兄 Me or...
闭嘴 我那会才19岁 Shut up! I was, like, 19.
咱都年轻过 咱可没干这种事 We've all been 19, Jeff, and none of us did this.
没人干过 None of us.
去那海边城市 耶 to that sea town yeah
噼里啪啦砰砰 Pop! Pop!
我恨死你了 I hate you!
我恨这所学校 I hate this school!
我巴不得你们统统黑霉中毒 And I hope you all get black mold poisoning!
哦 杰夫瑞 别这样 Oh, Jeffrey, no!
恨你恨你 恨死你了 I hate you! I hate you! I hate you!
杰夫瑞 别这样 Oh, Jeffrey, no.
一定要选杰夫 杰夫 杰夫 you've got to have Jeff Jeff Jeff
你在里面吗 Are you in here?
在 让我一个人静一静 Yeah, to be alone.
躲进男厕也不行 我刚刚试过 I've already established the men's room doesn't work.
你有家可回啊 You have an apartment.
楼下停车场里的人 There are people in the parking lot
都在唱我那首歌 singing that song.
我做得过火了 I went too far.
真抱歉 I'm sorry.
我不知道事情会一发不可收拾 I didn't know it would be that bad.
不是不知道 You knew.
而是不关心 You didn't care.
但不用道歉 But don't apologize.
我罪有应得 I got what I deserved.
我只是个令人生厌的大人 I am a gross, jaded adult
疲于奔命 难以自制 居然会阻止一位 with control issues that couldn't let
年轻有为 前途光明 满腔热血的孩子 a young, bright, idealistic kid
竞选主席 run for president.
慢着 不是还有一轮答辩吗 Wait, isn't there a final round of debates?
是 不过... Yeah. I--
你们两个 You guys!
别错过好戏啊 You're missing it!
特洛伊 我弃权了 Troy, I'm out.
我也是 Me too.
我退出了竞选 I withdrew my candidacy.
我这样出卖朋友 还有什么颜面 Nobody that treats a friend the way that I did
做学生会代表呢 is fit to represent the student body.
我知道你们都退出了 Uh, yeah, I know you're both out.
我只是说"别错过好戏" I'm saying you're missing it.
如此政治对决 百年难得一见 It's the political showdown of the century.
来吧 Come on.
噼里啪啦砰砰 Pop! Pop!
你本该走到最后 坚持竞选的 You should have stayed in the running.
你是唯一诚心参选的 You're the only real candidate.
我只是又一位 No, I was just another jerk
为求胜出不择手段的混蛋 trying to win a contest.
其实你一直是对的 You were right the whole time.
我只是不愿承认 直到我看到你 I just couldn't admit it until I saw you
黯然离去 running away crying.
好耶 Yay.
知道吗 我很在乎你怎么看我 I care what you think about me, you know?
其实 我也很在乎你怎么看我 Yeah, well, I care what you think about me.
一切因此而生 That's why this happened.
好吧 那就... Okay, well...
冰释前嫌吧 resolved, then.
冰释前嫌了 Resolved.
世事之道 欲伤人 When we seek to destroy others,
先伤己 we often hurt our self.
因为自我总是在寻求毁灭 Because it is the self that wants to be destroyed.
皮尔斯 这么看破世事不像你啊 Pierce, you're not usually so poignant.
其实呢 薇琪终于把铅笔借给我了 Well, Vicki finally lent me her pencil.
天哪 皮尔斯 Oh, my god! Pierce!
赶紧上校医院 Go to the health center!
说的是 Yeah.
漫漫竞选路 终有尽头 Well, we've finally reached the end of election road.
该陈述的都陈述了 该劈啪的也劈过了 Arguments have been made, pops have been popped.
几多心痛谁人知 梦碎肠断 Hearts have been stirred, perhaps broken.
唯一照常进行的就是计票程序 The only thing that remains is to tally the vote
这次巅峰对决的有志青年是 in this matchup between the youthful,
魅力无比的磁太太 Charismatic Magnitude,
和"瘪老头"莱昂纳德·罗德格里兹 and the Leonard "The human raisin" Rodriguez.
一山难容二虎 相争必有一伤 Two men fighting for the same piece of earth.
一位初生牛犊 一位时日无多 One recently born. One soon to die.
一场竞争折射灰暗人生 A competition reflecting the pointlessness of life.
快打住 阿布蒂 消极悲观了 Pull up, Abed. You're in a nosedive.
本台最新消息 派尔顿院长 I'm being told now that dean Pelton
即将宣布竞选获胜者 is prepared to announce a winner.
现在镜头转到屋子那头 为您直播 We take you now live to across the room.
好的 开始了 Okay. Here we go.
谢谢你 塞尔希奥 Thank you, Sergio.
有效总票数十一票... With 11 votes cast--
才十一票 拜托 11? Come on, people.
以压倒性胜利 赢得学生竞选 The landslide winner of the student election
得到七票的这位同学是... with seven votes is...
《南方公园》 South park.
算你狠 知道吗 Okay. You know what?
我想起来了 好像这就是为什么一开始 I seem to recall this is why we abolished
我们就要废除学生自治 student government in the first place.
十年前那一幕 往日重现 This is exactly what happened ten years ago.
你说清除黑霉斑难不难 Hey, how hard is it to get rid of black mold?
怎么清除 海绵擦水洗吗 What do we need, buckets and sponges?
其实我也不清楚 I don't actually know.
我们来一探究竟 We'll look it up.
女士先请 m'lady.
现在为您播报 Well, there you have it.
非候选人获胜 爆出惊天冷门 In a shocking write-in upset,
中央卡通频道的系列动画《南方公园》 The comedy central cartoon series South Park
刚刚被选为格林戴尔学生会主席 has been elected president of the Greendale student body.
意料之中 我也投票了 Not that shocking to me. I voted for it.
-真的 -嗯哪 - For real? - Mm-hmm.
我也投了 Me too. Aww.
哥们同心 其力断金 We can never stop being friends.
帷幕落下 曲终人散 As the confetti gets swept away
让我们放眼明年的竞选 整装待发 and we begin gearing up for next year's election,
这里是GCTV 阿布蒂·纳德尔如是说 For GCTV, I'm Abed Nadir saying,
"知道吗 用罐头汤和猫食 "Did you know you could make napalm
可以自制汽油弹的" out of common dish soap and cat food?"
什么 What?
你说这个干吗 Why would you say that?
我是沃勒斯 Vohlers.
好的 Yeah.
抱歉 先生 I'm sorry, sir.
我们必须更改形成去城市学院 We're gonna have to move on to city college.
格林戴尔出现威胁指数升级警报 Apparently there's an elevated threat level at Greendale.
但无须担心 But don't worry.
我去盯着...亲自盯着 I'll check it out...personally.
随你便 Whatever.
刚才我梦见自己当上正总统了 I had a dream I was the regular president.
你为我们城市奉献了这么多 You've done so much for our city.
殴级者 我们能为你做些什么呢 Kickpuncher, is there anything that we can give you?
别叫我"殴级者" Don't call me kickpuncher.
叫我...戴维吧 Call me...David.
真好玩 This was fun.
你下次再来城里时 Maybe you can observe me having dinner
来监视我吃饭吧 next time you're in town.
按两次喇叭表示"是" 一次表示"否" Honk twice for "Yes," Once for "No."
收到 太好了太好了 Cool. Cool, cool, cool.