今天是我朋友阿布蒂的生日 It was my friend Abed's birthday.
大概两年前 我在社区大学 I had met Abed at community college
认识了阿布蒂 almost two years earlier.
他对流行文化的痴迷使他显得格格不入 His obsession with pop culture had always alienated him.
他引用电影台词 假装他的生活是电视剧 He'd quote movies, pretend his life was a TV show.
他看《熟女镇》 He watched Cougar Town.
就好像是他不想让别人喜欢他一样 It was as if he didn't want people to like him.
今年 在圣诞节前后 Then this year, around Christmas,
我也说不清 he had some kind of--
他好像脑补了电视剧情 I don't know-- mental episode,
胡说些什么大家都变成粘土定格动画 saying people were made of clay--stuff like that.
那之后他貌似回归正常 但当我问他 He'd seemed okay since, but when I asked him
他生日想干点儿什么的时候 if he'd like to do anything for his birthday,
他说他想跟我吃晚饭 我和他单独吃 he told me we should have dinner, just he and I,
要进行一场重要的谈话 for an important conversation.
这让我很紧张 It made me nervous.
阿布蒂选择的餐馆完全不符合他的风格 The restaurant Abed had chosen wasn't his style at all.
这儿有布餐巾 没有电视 There were cloth napkins, no TV.
阿布蒂喜欢炸鸡柳 电子游戏 Abed liked chicken fingers, video games,
昆汀·塔伦蒂诺 Quentin Tarantino.
昆汀·塔伦蒂诺：美国著名导演 后文提到的《低俗小说》就是他的作品
在一家满是成年人的餐厅 Babysitting him through a full meal
陪他吃一顿晚餐... at a restaurant for grown-ups...
我还毫无心理准备 I just wasn't up for it.
但是我喜欢阿布蒂 大家都喜欢 But I loved Abed. Everyone did.
所以我策划了一个惊喜 坦然赴约 So I had come there with a surprise plan of my own.
来一杯麦卡伦威士忌 不加冰 Hey, uh, could I get a macallan, neat?
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey!
兄弟 Buddy.
毛衫不错 I like your sweater.
是买黄金猎犬附赠的吗 Did it come with a golden retriever?
知道金毛长啥样的人都明白
你看起来也不错 You look good too.
我要一杯...汽酒 I would like a, uh... spritzer.
阿布蒂不大正常 Abed was being weird.
我的意思是 他有些太过正常 And by that, I mean he wasn't being weird.
他跟人拥抱 对人微笑 跟人有眼神交流 He was hugging, smiling, making eye contact,
整整30秒 没有任何的引经据典 and in 30 seconds, he hadn't made a reference to anything.
我来的时候很担心他 I had come in worried about him,
认为他需要帮助 thinking he needed help.
但是看到他这样 我更担心了 But seeing him like this made me more worried than ever.
明白了吗 就像《低俗小说》 Get it? Like Pulp Fiction.
是个钱包 上面写着"邪恶的... It's a wallet that says "Bad mother--"
《低俗小说》中提到该钱包 上面印着Bad Mother Fucker
-你们的餐桌准备好了 -谢谢 - Your table's ready, gentlemen. - Thank you.
事实上 我有个主意 Actually, uh, I had an idea.
我刚看到一个非常赞的汉堡店... I saw a very cool burger place just a few--
别扯了 我来市中心可不是为了吃汉堡的 Nonsense. I didn't come downtown for burgers.
来吧 Come, come.
我马上就过去 Uh, I-I'll be right there.
我们要晚点过去 Hey, uh, we're running a little bit late--
没什么大事 就是遇到点小麻烦 no big deal, just a small speed bump.
快点 我们都等着呢 Well, hurry up. We're waiting.
阿布蒂生日快乐
惊喜 Surprise!
伙计们 别啊 他们要晚一点 Guys, no! They're running late.
杰夫说遇到点小麻烦 Jeff says there's some kind of speed bump.
皮尔斯 没人能听见你说什么 Pierce, nobody can hear you.
拜托 我快热死了 蛋蛋还总碰到拉链 Well, I'm hot, and my balls are touching the zipper!
本字幕由 YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
■
翻译：大卫熊 夕橙 米粒 小九
■
校对：小独 时间轴：崽猪
■
后期：鱼骨头 总监：米粒
■
《废柴联盟》 第二季 第19集 iTunes 版本调教：Tears
你能想象得到阿布蒂走进来时 Can you imagine the expression on Abed's face
脸上的表情吗 when he walks in?
当然想象得到 他就一个表情 Of course we can imagine it. It's always the same.
是啊 但是他会说"酷" Yeah, but he's gonna say "Cool"
至少说五次 at least five times.
杰夫这样做可真是贴心啊 It's really great of Jeff to put this together.
我没嫉妒 I'm not jealous.
赞哦 有人给他准备了一个公文包 Oh, cool, someone got him a briefcase,
公文包: 《低俗小说》中的重要物件 里面的物品影片中没有提及
跟电影里一样 里面有什么 Like in the movie. What's in it?
喂 别碰那个 Hey, don't touch that!
那是杰夫准备的 他说 It's from Jeff, and he says
只有阿布蒂才能打开 nobody but Abed can open it.
为什么 里面有什么 Why? What's in it?
怎么 当我有立体视觉吗 What, I have 3D vision now?
-是个人都有啊 -别装得很了解我 - Yes, you do. - You don't know me!
布雷塔误把"透视眼"说成了"立体视觉"
大家耐心等待 别乱碰东西 Everybody just be patient and don't mess with anything.
餐厅无老板 我就称大王 I am responsible for this diner when my boss isn't around.
她还真是吹个没完没了啊 She will not stop bragging about that.
可不是嘛 I know.
有谁看过这部电影啊 Has anyone seen this movie we're referencing?
我演的是英雄还是女猪脚 Am I the hero or the love interest?
《低俗小说》 看过 我在飞机上看的 Pulp Fiction? Yeah, I saw it on an airplane.
和谐向上 是一部30分钟的电影 It's cute. It's a 30-minute film
讲叙一帮朋友的故事 他们对干酪汉堡 about a group of friends who like cheeseburgers,
跳舞和圣经情有独钟 dancing, and the bible.
-杰夫的礼物未必好过我 -什么 - Jeff's not better than me. - Hmm?
我啥也没说 I said, "Hmm."
老天 菜式还真是种目繁多啊 Boy, is this menu stuffy.
我不知道你怎么想 我想吃一顿... I don't know about you, but I'd rather have a nice--
先来鱼酱面包片 Rillettes de saumon, to start, I think,
还要乳鸽 and, ooh, squab.
-很好 -他们这儿没有鹌鹑 - Very good. - They don't have quail.
quail有"鹌鹑"和"畏惧"双重含义
幸好没有 我要沙拉 Good to know. Salad.
-绝妙的选择 -是啊 饭局老手了 - Excellent choice. - Yeah, I nailed it.
你把这个落在酒吧了 Um, you forgot this in the bar.
是啊 抱歉 Ah, so I did. I'm sorry.
礼物真贴心哦 杰夫 What a thoughtful gift, Jeff.
算你了解我 过去我品味独特 I really was a man of singular taste.
啥叫"过去" 阿布蒂 怎么回事 Was? Abed, what's going on?
你为什么打扮的像罗杰斯先生 Why are you dressed like Mr. Rogers
罗杰斯先生：指弗雷德·罗杰斯 教育家 电视主持人 总是穿着衬衫加毛衫
说话像弗莱泽 你怎么了 and talking like Frasier? What happened to you?
弗莱泽：指《欢乐一家亲》的男主角弗莱泽·克莱恩
从哪说起呢 Oh, where to begin.
我大概多次提起过我对一部 I probably mentioned in the past my fondness
叫做《熟女镇》的电视剧甚是喜爱 for a TV program called cougar town.
多有提及 Here and there.
我甚至在脸谱网上创建了剧迷俱乐部 I even started a Cougar Town fan club on Facebook.
当然不是为了谋求什么 Not to accomplish anything, mind you.
就是想要表达我对这部剧的热爱 Simply to express my love for the show.
结果这个俱乐部搞得挺大 Well, it ended up being quite large, this fan club,
有一天早上 and, uh, one morning,
我想应该是三月初吧 I think it was maybe early March,
我在脸谱网上收到一条信息 I got this Facebook message--
是制作《熟女镇》的人发过来的一条消息 a very nice message from the people who make Cougar Town.
来求职的吗 Looking for work?
不 是感谢信 杰夫 No, thanking me, Jeff--
感谢我对剧集的大力支持 You know, for all the support I generated for the show.
在信的最后一段 写道 And in the last paragraph, they said,
如果您乐意 欢迎来探班 "If you'd like, you could come visit the set,"
仅此而已 Just like that.
他们还挺有个性的 Well, that's cool of them.
这就让他们有一点 I guess that kind of makes them
像低俗小说里的角色 the pulp fictions of people.
对了 低俗小说那部电影真棒啊 Man, how great was that movie.
是啊 所以我卖了一些手办 Yeah. So I sold a few of my action figures,
然后买了去洛杉矶的双程机票 and I bought a round-trip ticket to Los Angeles.
什么 你真去了 什么时候 Wait, you went? When?
春假之后 Over spring break.
没治了 我接到邀请两天后 What could I do? Two days after I got that invitation,
就置身于《熟女镇》的拍摄实景地了 I was on the set of Cougar Town, Jeff.
《熟女镇》哟 Cougar town.
要是你真想让我严肃对待这事 Look, if you want me to take it seriously,
拜托你别再深情念叨剧名了 stop saying its name.
要笑你尽管笑好了 杰夫 You laugh, Jeff,
但是里面的人都超有爱的 But the people were wonderful,
不仅仅是演员 you know, not just the actors,
而是整个剧组 每一个人都很有爱 but the crew, everyone.
整个剧组班底有二百号人 There must have been 200 people,
每一个人都各司其职 each with a specific function,
群策群力 众志成城 but all dedicated to a single purpose.
就像是一个小村庄或是有机体 It was like a village or like a living thing.
你懂的 当时我正跟导演聊着天 And, you know, I'm talking to the director,
他跟我说道 你干吗不来当背景呢 and he says, "Why don't you jump into the background?"
我说 啥米 等下 I say, "Nah, wait a minute.
你要我当什么背景 jump into the background of what exactly?"
然后他答道 就是这场剧的人肉背景嘛 And he says, "Jump into the background of this scene.
跑个龙套 在熟女镇打个酱油 Walk through it. Walk through Cougar Town."
谢谢 Thank you.
我还没反应过来呢 Well, before I can react,
就被一个女生以迅雷不及掩耳之势 this girl takes me by the hand,
拉到露台后面站着 and she stands me behind this patio
科特妮·考克斯和其他演员正在前面走位 where Courtney Cox and the actors are doing their scene.
然后那女生说 现在等你一听见开拍 And the girl says, "Now, when you hear 'action,'
你就得从这里走到那里 懂了吗 I want you to walk from here to there," Right?
此时此刻我才真正的颤抖了 杰夫 That's when I really started to panic, Jeff,
因为如果我是《熟女镇》的观众 because if I'm a person that watches Cougar Town,
那么我怎么能去演《熟女镇》呢 how can I be in Cougar Town?
你懂的 我越寻思这件事 You know, and the more I start thinking about it,
就越觉得不对劲 the less any of it makes any sense at all.
我当时只想掉头就跑 但为时已晚 And I just want to turn and run, but it's too late,
因为导演已经喊道 开拍 because the director's calling "Action."
在我迈出第一步之前 So before I take my first step,
我意识到我已不再是 I realize that I have to stop being someone
这部剧的观众 who's ever seen the show
而是化身为这部剧的角色 and become a character on the show.
成为熟女镇上的居民 Become a man from Cougar Town...
你懂的 土生土长 You know, someone born there,
有名有姓 我决定叫自己柴德 someone whose name, I decide, is Chad.
于是我迈出了第一步 如同新生 And I take my first step, as a child might,
作为柴德蹒跚学步 learning to walk as Chad.
我越走越轻巧 And with each step, it becomes easier.
而每迈出一步 我便开始一点点回想起 And with each step, I start remembering things
柴德的一生 比如他的初吻 from Chad's life, like his first kiss
是在熟女镇上的大树底下 under the big tree at Cougar Town field...
在熟女镇上初中时玩橄榄球 Playing soccer at Cougar Town Junior High...
洗澡时发现人生中长出的第一根胸毛 Finding my first chest hair in the shower,
平生第一套自己的公寓 my first apartment,
初恋时惨遭死党横刀夺爱 My first true love falling for my best friend,
生日 婚礼 撞车 交税 Birthdays, weddings, car crashes, taxes,
在感恩节玩"你来比划我来猜" Playing charades at Thanksgiving.
柴德是活生生的 杰夫 Chad had lived, Jeff.
柴德的生活要比阿布蒂的精彩得多 You know, Chad had lived more than Abed.
然后他们就喊了停 那场戏结束了 And then they called "Cut," And the scene was over.
但我还没从脱离柴德的角色 But I wasn't ready to stop being Chad,
于是我问导演 我们能再拍一条吗 so I said to the director, "Can we have one more take?"
但是他们已经去赶下一场戏了 But they were already moving on.
科特妮拍得很顺 Courtney had nailed it.
我的嘴唇开始颤抖 My lips started trembling,
手脚发麻 僵硬不能自已 and my--my hands and my feet went numb.
双膝发软 My--my knees buckled,
当我倒地时 and as I fell to the floor...
拉了一裤子屎 I pooped my pants.
真的 I did...
因为真相是 杰夫 我曾经就是柴德 Because the truth is, Jeff, I had been Chad,
而柴德已死 and Chad was dead.
但是作为阿布蒂的我还活着 But as Abed, I was still alive,
所以我被人扶起来 so someone helped me up.
服装师女士走了过来 给我一条新裤子 And the wardrobe lady came over. She gave me new pants.
我感谢了所有人 并致以歉意 I thanked everyone, I apologized,
然后我搭上公车径直开向机场 and then I just got on a bus and went straight to the airport.
你的饭都凉了 Um, your food's getting cold.
我真是傻了 Oh, how silly of me.
你是在琢磨阿布蒂的新欢 Wondering if Abed's new best friend
是否也给他准备了好礼吗 also got him the best gift?
我那份才是好礼 I got Abed the best gift.
我倒想告诉你是什么 I'd tell you what it is,
但这是一个无比之酷的秘密 but it's an even cooler secret.
布雷塔 你跟我承诺说这个私人派对 Britta, you promised that this private party
八点就会结束 would be done by 8:00.
现在正是营业高峰期 而这里却被你们 You're doing this during the peak business hours
霸占搞怀旧主题家宴 for nostalgic-themed diners.
真的假的 有做过调研吗 Oh, is that true? Has that been researched?
做过 安妮 It has, Annie.
在被晚间新闻吓得胆战心惊后 After they get frightened by the evening news,
很多人来咱这个和谐馆子找吃的 听音乐 many seek the comforting foods and soothing music
聊以自慰 of a pre-racial America.
抱歉 布莱恩 再等一小会 I'm sorry, Brian. It's just a little late.
等下次轮班时 我把所有的小费都给你 I'll give you all of my tips from my next shift.
你的小费吗 Oh, your tips.
你全部的小费 等下 所有的吗 All your tips? Wait, wait, all of them?
就是说 所有顾客给你的小费 Like, all the tips the customers leave for you?
还真多呢 敢情我还得分两年花完 Wow, is there any way we can go ahead and spread that out
才能成功避税是吧 我还真稀罕呢 over two years so I don't get slammed on my taxes?
我的老天哪 Oh, my goodness.
可不是 I know.
人人都恨布雷塔 Everyone hates Britta.
想必你是知道那个故事的真正意义的 Of course, you know the real point of that story.
不知道 但没关系 吃你的吧 I don't, but that's okay. Chew.
意义在于 我真傻 The point is, I'd been a fool.
也没有啦 谁还没拉过裤子呀 Nah, everybody poops their pants.
这事暂且不论 我一直就是傻瓜 No, no, no, I was a fool long before that.
我回望自己的一生 思量着"那究竟是谁" You know, I look back at my life and I think, "Who was that?
他为何如此羁绊于诸多琐事 Why did he care so much about so many things that didn't matter?"
就是 谁在乎《熟女镇》呢 Yeah, who needs Cougar Town?
流行文化哪个不是如此呢 Who needs any pop culture whatsoever?
电视 电影 都见鬼去吧 TV, movies-- to hell with all of it.
知道我过去什么样吗 杰夫 You know what I was, Jeff?
我就像那个钱包 I was that wallet.
表面上 满是各种电影典故 On the surface, a reference to some cinematic drivel,
但内里 空无一物 But on the inside... empty.
但你很爱塔伦蒂诺 But you love Tarantino.
不 不再爱了 No, no, not anymore.
所以这顿晚餐我想和你一起吃 That's why I wanted to have this dinner with you.
这是我开始全新生活后第一个生日 This is the first birthday of my new life.
当然 钱包很可爱 杰夫 You know, the wallet's cute, Jeff,
但我想用它换一个更好的礼物 But I'd like to exchange it for a better gift.
你不跟我来第一次真实的对话 I'm not leaving here until you've given me
我就不走了 my first real conversation.
好吧 你想要真实的对话是吗 Okay, you want to have a real conversation?
那我就掏心窝子的告诉你 Here's as real as I get under the circumstances.
你能放下对电视的癖好 It's nice that you've learned to dial back
这样很好 your love of tv.
但我真的希望你能跟我一起去喝奶昔 But I'd really like you to come have a milkshake with me.
出自《低俗小说》中著名的喝奶昔桥段 不过影片中是一男一女
走之前 希望你能想起来 But before you do, I'd like you to remember
你对《低俗小说》有多狂热 how much you enjoy Pulp Fiction.
为防胡言坏事 Now, that's as far as I can go
我只能说这么多了 without defeating the purpose.
再说下去 就要剧透了 I'm really tilting the bean can here.
《低俗小说》桥段 奶昔 剧透 Pulp fiction, milkshakes, bean cans?
听听我们这都说的什么 Listen to how we talk to each other.
就像两个机器人在互相交流名言警句 We're like robots exchanging catchphrases and references.
你以为把窗户纸戳破了 And you think pointing that out counts
就算真实对话了吗 as a real conversation?
你知道现在有多少虚伪的人 You know how many fake people are talking
在谈论这世界有多虚伪吗 about how fake the world is right now?
好吧 这方面我是新手 Okay, well, I'm new at this,
现在能开始咱的真实交流了吗 so can you start our real conversation?
我看这东西根本不存在 I don't believe there's such a thing.
言谈是人类用以隐瞒真相的手段 Conversation was invented by humans to conceal reality.
在自然进化的路上 聊天奉承排忧解闷 We use it to sweet-talk our way around natural selection.
知道谁才会"掏心窝子"地交流吗 蚂蚁 You know who has real conversations? Ants.
交流方式就是往对方嘴里吐化学物质 They talk by vomiting chemicals into each other's mouths.
它们绝对张大嘴说亮话 They get right down to brass tacks.
呕 "吃饭去哪边" Blehh! "Which way's the picnic?"
呕 "那边" Blehh! "That way."
人类则高级许多 我们说瞎话 Humans are more evolved. We lie.
-也不是总瞎 -这就是瞎话 - Not all the time. - That's a lie.
-我们独处的时候不说瞎话 -这话最瞎了 - We don't lie when we're alone. - Biggest lie ever.
瞎话中有九成发生在镜前六尺 Nine out of ten lies occur six inches away from the bathroom mirror.
大部分瞎话都是编给自己听的 We do most of our lying alone.
自己一个人怎么说瞎话 How's it even possible to lie when you're alone?
可以打给电话色情热线 You can call a phone-sex line.
这就算欺骗自己 That's lying to yourself.
不对 只是向陌生人坦承自己的寂寞而已 No, that's just being honest with a stranger about being lonely.
要是你没有坦承自己寂寞的原因呢 What if you're dishonest about why you're lonely?
要是你明明是个帅哥 致电色情热线 What if you're a good-looking guy who calls a phone-sex line
却告诉他们说你重达400磅 and tells them he weighs 400 pounds,
只为博女人一句"就算如此 依然爱你" Just so he can hear a woman say she's attracted to him anyway?
-我不相信有这种事 -错 我就干过 - I don't believe that happens. - Wrong. That's me.
上周干的 I did that last week.
你干吗花钱让电话里的女人 Why would you pay a woman on the phone
把你当成胖子 to think you're fat?
因为我害怕万一我超重了 Because I'm scared that if I were overweight
就没人喜欢我了 that no one would like me.
老天 说出来感觉倍儿好 God, that feels good to admit.
阿布蒂 关键在于 Abed, the point being--
关键在于 The point being,
你不需要表现正常 You don't have to worry about being normal
找回真实 随便今晚这算什么 Or--or real or whatever this is tonight.
世界就是很病态 充斥着病态的人类 The world is a sick place full of sick, sick people.
能告诉你一些我从未示人的事情吗 Can I tell you something I've never told anyone else?
好 Yes.
不管他给他准备了啥 肯定酷毙了 It's got to be so cool, whatever he got him.
你懂我意思的 翁格超有手段的 You know what I'm saying. Winger's a man of means.
他跟你哥们正享用大餐呢 He's with your boy right now having a fancy dinner.
小鸡那个炖蘑菇 镶钻小叉子 名牌小苏打 Baby chickens, diamond forks, brand-name sodas.
然后他就会带他回来这里 Then he's gonna bring him back here,
把那里面的玩意给他 完事儿 Give him whatever's in there, and that's that.
特洛伊谁啊 Troy who?
是我所想的吗[低俗小说桥段] Is that what I think it is?
是的 It is.
防伪证书 以明正身 Certificate of authenticity--
他肯定在ebay上买的 He must have got it on ebay or something.
杰夫给阿布蒂准备了 Jeff got Abed the actual briefcase
《低俗小说》里那个原版公文包 from the movie Pulp Fiction!
你俩干啥呢 What are you guys doing?
是昌指使我打开的 Chang made me open it!
他用中华气功教唆我的 He seduced me with his dark Chinese powers.
谁让你留下俺俩独处的 Why do you leave him alone with me?
姐为了这傻缺派对 把工作都赌上了 Guys, I am putting my job on the line for this stupid party,
你们就体谅一下 别惹事行不行 And the least you can do is not ruin it.
别啊 No! No!
兄弟 哥也算出家人不出恶言 Dude, I know I'm preaching to the choir,
但你也太不够朋友了 but you are a bad friend.
我灭了你 I'll kill you!
我就说 "不要 那是小姑娘穿的" And I said, "No, that's a girl's costume."
然后我妈说 "没关系" And my mom said, "It's fine.
"印第安小男孩也梳辫辫穿裙裙的" Indian boys have long hair and braids too."
"不给糖果就捣蛋"还有45分钟就要出发了 There was only 45 minutes left to trick-or-treat,
我能怎么办 So what could I do?
只能把那件天杀玩意穿上 挨家敲门去 I put the damn thing on, and I went door-to-door.
大家都说 "真是个漂亮的小姑娘" And everyone was going, "Oh, what a pretty little girl."
到第三家的时候 And by the third house...
我都放弃纠正他们了 I stopped correcting them.
我是说 这样只能欲盖弥彰 I mean, why draw attention to it?
而且说真的 And, honestly,
随着羞耻和恐惧褪去 once the shame and the fear wore off...
我心中便只有被夸漂亮后的欣慰之情 I was just glad they thought I was pretty.
老天 真是不可思议 God, this is incredible...
坦承往事的感觉真棒 I mean, to be able to talk this openly.
人为什么就不能坦诚一些呢 I mean, why can't people be like this?
这世界怎么回事 I mean, what's wrong with this world?
你想干吗 What do you want?
我们傻等的时候你们却在这儿逍遥 So this is what you're doing while we wait.
散伙吧皮尔斯 派对取消了 Just go home, Pierce. The party's canceled.
太基了 你们太基了 Pretty gay, man. Pretty gay.
皮尔斯干嘛穿的像《低俗小说》里的瘸子 Why is Pierce dressed as the gimp from Pulp Fiction?
钱包 奶昔 The wallet, milkshakes...
你为我准备了个《低俗小说》主题派对吗 Did you set up a surprise Pulp Fiction birthday party?
是啊 在油叉酒吧 不过没关系了 Yeah, at the Greasy Fork, but that doesn't matter now.
咱俩的促膝谈心更重要 What matters is this-- talking.
您有什么需要的吗 Is everything okay?
麻烦你 结账吧 Uh, yes. Just the check, please.
抱歉 您这是要提前结束吗 Oh, I'm sorry. So you're ending early?
可在《与安德烈的晚餐》中 Because in My Dinner With Andre,
-服务生把 -少废话 快拿账单 The waiter brings-- - Check, check, check. Bye.
-阿布蒂 -怎么 - Abed? - Mm-hmm?
《与安德烈的晚餐》是什么 - What's My Dinner With Andre?
就是一部关于两个人 It's just a movie about, uh, two guys
在餐厅里聊天的电影 talking at a restaurant.
这么说... So this wasn't...
这谈心不是真的 A real conversation?
你又在演电影了 You were doing another movie?
电影主题可是真实谈话哦 a movie about a real conversation.
你在《熟女镇》片场真的拉裤子了吗 Did you poop your pants on the set of Cougar Town?
这个无关紧要 That shouldn't matter.
这就是我为什么不爱跟你玩的原因 This is why we don't hang out!
混蛋们 你们害得我被炒了 Well, thanks for getting me fired, jerks.
-派对结束 -酷 酷 酷 酷 酷 The party's over. - Cool. Cool. Cool, Cool, Cool.
的确结束了 Yeah, it is.
谁看见我给阿布蒂准备的超酷大礼了 Do you guys know where Abed's really cool present is?
我要拿去退货 Because I'm returning it.
搁在餐厅呢 基本完好 It's back at the diner. It's fine.
不过细节部分可能要修补一下 It probably just needs some detailing.
我倒挺希望你们俩成为好哥们儿的 Man, I really wish you two got along better.
不可说果汁啊[特洛伊对酒的昵称] Ooh, no-no juice.
味道不错嘛 Ah, that's good no-no juice.
1200美刀 算作赔偿 I'll give you 1200 dollars for the damages
外加把布雷塔雇回来 if you promise to give Britta her job back.
优惠价800刀 不雇她 $800, and she stays fired.
成交 Deal.
安妮告诉我公文包的事儿了 Annie told me about the briefcase.
-谢谢 -真是浪费了 - Thank you. - What a waste.
也不全是 Not really.
你是在易趣那家 Did you buy it
威利家百分百正品影视周边店买的么 from Willy's 100% Authentic Cinema Treasures on eBay?
-是 -威利满嘴跑火车 - Yep. - yeah, Willy exaggerates.
我买过他家保正品的印第安纳·琼斯鞭子 I got Indiana Jones' real whip from him.
结果一年就有70次成交记录 He moves about 70 of those a year.
真棒 我本以为自己的钱 Oh, good. I thought I flushed
打水漂了冲厕所了 A bunch of money down the toilet.
知道真的《低俗小说》手提箱还在 But it's great to know that the real Pulp Fiction briefcase
我就放心了 is safe somewhere.
你生我气了 You're mad at me.
我花了一周的时间来策划派对 I spent a week planning a party
只是想让你高兴 just to make you happy.
后来我又一手破坏了这个派对 And then I bailed on the party and ruined it,
也只是为了让你高兴 Again, just to make you happy.
后来发现 当我正浪费自己的时间 Then it turns out, while I was wasting my time
努力让你高兴时 trying to make you happy,
你却利用了所有人来让自己高兴 You were making yourself happy all over everyone else
导演了又一场电影讽喻 by doing yet another stupid movie spoof.
我称之为"致敬" I prefer the term "homage."
我不是为了让自己高兴 It wasn't about making me happy.
我选《与安德烈的晚餐》 是因为 I chose My Dinner With Andre, because it's about a guy
它讲述了影片主角和他的一个 who has an unexpectedly enjoyable evening
近来都躲着他的奇怪朋友的谈心的故事 with a weird friend he's been avoiding lately.
你觉得我在躲着你 You think I've been avoiding you?
去年我们还经常一起玩 You and I hung out more last year.
我也能理解 It makes sense.
所有人无时不刻都在长大 都在改变 Everyone else is growing and changing all the time,
这点上我不太行 And that's not really my jam.
我瞬息即变 克己禁欲 与世隔绝 I'm more of a fast-blinking, stoic, removed,
深感自卑[自闭症么= =] uncomfortably self-aware type...
就像百科[星际迷航] Like Data...
或者强尼5号[霹雳5号]或者默克[默克和明蒂] Or Johnny-5 or Mork
或哈尔[太空漫游指南]或KITT[霹雳游侠]或k9[神秘博士] Or Hal or k.I.T.T. Or K-9...
或伍德斯托克或史努比 Or Woodstock and/or Snoopy.
当然 史波克就不必说了... Of course, Spock probably goes without saying--
阿布蒂 我不需要你长大或者改变 Abed, I don't need you to grow or change.
作为刚被炮灰的我 衷心劝你一句 And take it from someone who just had a meaningless one,
交心之谈没有你想的那么好 sometimes emotional breakthroughs are overrated.
说真的 关于那个"印第安小女孩" And, seriously, I need you to keep
你必须守口如瓶 一个字都不准说 a tight, heavy lid on the "Little indian girl" Story.
-好 -一个字都不准说 - Sure. - Tight, heavy lid.
好 向上帝保证 Cool. T.H.L.
还是哥们儿吧 Still friends?
因为餐厅的帐还没付 Because nobody paid for dinner at the restaurant,
我也没那么多钱 and I do not have this kind of money.
我回去付账 I went back to pay the bill.
餐厅关门了 The restaurant was closed.
惊喜 Surprise!
-惊喜 -这是阿布蒂的主意 - Surprise. - It was Abed's idea.
伙计们留下来把派对又办起来了 The group had stayed behind to salvage the party.
服务生为剧透阿布蒂的"致敬作"而愧疚 The waiter had felt bad for spilling the beans
所以他允许我们留下了 about Abed's homage, so he let us stay.
这个派对嘛 有点静有点暗 As parties go, it was quiet, dark,
还有点无聊 and a little lame.
更好的派对有过 更烂的派对也有过 We'd had better parties, and we'd had worse parties.
但这个《与安德烈的晚餐》式的 But I doubt I'll ever forget
与阿布蒂的晚餐 我永难忘怀 My Dinner With Andre dinner with Abed.
-谢谢 -阿布蒂 别客气了 - Thanks. - Abed, please...
-我来付吧 -好 谢谢你 - Allow me. - Okay. Thanks.
给我看看 Let me see.
好像有点贵 Mm, that's not good.
他们还说是"市价" They said "Market price."
这是哪门子坑爹的市价啊 What market are you shopping at?
我准备跑路了 I'm going to run.
-一起跑 -好 - Me too. - Okay.
-数到三 -一 - On three. - One...
-二 -三 - Two... - Three.