格林德尔学子们 别忘了 Don't forget, Greendale,
今天是春季学期 it's the last day to sign up
选修课报名的最后一天 for the spring semester elective.
骑马 滑水 击剑 任你选择 Horseback riding! Water skiing! Fencing!
要是有足够的人交费学跳房子 Those are just a few classes we can afford to offer
我们也能考虑开课 if enough people pay to learn hopscotch.
还有学写笑话的选修课呢 Oh, they've got a class on how to write jokes.
千万别选 Oh, don't take that.
才讲到"构思"我就退课了 I dropped it after the lesson on setups.
带课教授实在太老了 The professor is so old...
选修课忒多了 So many classes.
挑花了眼 I don't know what to choose.
我要告诉你我破处那晚 I'll give you the same advice my father gave me
我父亲给我的忠告 the night I lost my virginity.
"随便选一个就好" "Just pick one.
"反正价钱都一样" They all cost the same."
你也可以跟我和特洛伊 You could always take
一起选"戏如人生"这门课 "The Actor Inside" with me and Troy.
她给了你什么好处啊 How'd you get dragged into that one?
我们的舞蹈老师总鼓励我们上演戏课 Our dance teacher encourages us to take acting classes
来发掘自己内心的情感 to tap into our emotional cores,
我和特洛伊准备一起选 So troy and I both decided to take it together.
桌上足球课人满了吗 Hmm. Foosball was full?
我在等人退课 I'm on the wait list.
别放弃 Don't give up.
我等人退这门传媒课 I was on the wait list for this media class
等了一年半 最终选上了 for a year and a half and I finally got in.
"究竟是谁——批判性分析 "Who indeed: a critical analysis
电视剧《谁主乾坤》" of television's who's the boss?"
这门课的教授正是本书作者 The professor of this class is the author of this book.
-竟然是他 -可不是嘛 - We got him? - I know.
杰夫 你准备选什么 So what are you taking, Jeff?
在你们这些白痴 Well, while you knuckleheads
一个劲充实心灵的时候 are expanding your minds and souls,
我要在"品酒意大利"课上 I'll be expanding my liver
充实下我的肝脏 in "Italian wine tasting."
够带劲啊 Oh! Molto bene!
我也要上这门课 I'm taking that one, too.
意大利语的"鄙视你"怎么说 Hmm. How do you say "Ha ha" in Italian?
我查一下 I'll look it up.
肯定会很有趣的 杰夫 我能给你指导 Come on, Jeff, it'll be fun. I can give you pointers.
皮尔斯 我在顶级律师事务所上班那会 Pierce, I was a lawyer at a top-tier law firm.
除了为达官贵人开脱罪名 When I wasn't shielding the wealthy from justice,
就是在品他们的顶级佳酿 I was drinking their finest wines.
看来你有自己的酒窖吧 I assume you have your own wine cellar.
皮尔斯就有 Pierce does.
查到了 是"BS" And it's, "Ha ha!"
酒窖谁都能有 Anyone can have a cellar.
关键要看酒窖里放的什么酒 It's what's in it that counts.
皮尔斯的特设健身房还有秋千马鞍神马的 Pierce's has a special gym with swings and saddles.
哪有什么健身房 别乱说 Uh, we don't--we don't discuss the special gym.
大家请注意 大家请注意 Uh, attention, please. Attetion, please.
请于今天之前上交 All elective forms must be in
所有选修课申请表 by the end of the day.
说得真棒 曼努尔·威尔士 Oh, nice job, Manuel Welsh.
插播一则好消息 我的"公共广播通知课" And good news. There's still plenty of room
还有很多空位哦 in my P.A. Announcements class.
学费一小时只要十块钱 Just ten bucks an hour.
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翻译：樱桃饺饺 夕橙 小独
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校对：小独 米粒 时间轴：崽猪
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后期：鱼骨头 监制：米粒
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《废柴联盟》 第二季 第20集 iTunes版本调教：Tears
意大利酒品酒入门
你也选这门课吗 You're taking this, too?
必须滴 Hell, yeah.
有醉酒美女 豪华洗手间 Got drunk ladies, fancy bathrooms,
还有外套随便拿 and a room full of free coats.
抱歉来晚了 兄弟 Sorry I'm late, man.
我给你带了点礼物 I brought you a present.
霍桑酒庄 2009年 [意语]越喝人越帅
那会儿您的下巴窝还没长成肉疙瘩呢 From before your chin dimple filled in.
麻烦让一下 Uh, excuse me.
打扰哦 So sorry.
正点啊 Wow.
好一个秀色可餐美娇娘 东方胸器 Who is the dumpling with the nice asian pair?
你这意淫有水平 哥听着都饿了 That's the first time sexism has made me hungry,
但她确实很辣 But she is something.
恐怕我得对她裸裎相见了 I fear I may have to let her see me nude.
不劳你动手 爷亲自上 I might have to take a shot myself.
你笑什么 What's so funny?
500马力的六速法拉利在手 "根"基雄厚 Well, why would a woman want a Plymouth on cinder blocks
哪个女人还会愿意"上"老爷车 when she could have a testarossa, 500 horsepower
体验"肉加磨"呢 with a six-speed stick?
我的"手杆"可是螺纹嵌丝 质感非凡哦 'Cause my stick is ribbed for her pleasure.
那不是螺纹是皱纹吧 I think those are wrinkles.
您老悠着点吧 Let that breathe.
馨香萦绕 脂凝体丰 Lingering scent, full body,
国色天香 perfect nose.
的确是好酒 Very nice wine.
我是说你 I was talking about you.
我是杰夫·翁格 Jeff Winger.
我是赤蛟吴梅 Wu Mei Hong Long.
美人还需好名配 Oh, what a lovely name for a lovely...
我对你没兴趣 Uh, not interested.
这种蛋疼发型 Please take weird haircut,
和傻逼笑脸 stupid grin,
还是用来奉承别人吧 and go sniff another dog's ass.
红龙辣妹 天使面庞 Hmm hmm, the red dragon ordered a number 37
蛇蝎心肠 with a side of pork-fried snap.
这妞近看有点委婉 When you get up close, she's very homely.
哈姆雷特
这一定很有意思 This is gonna be fun.
我等不及要选艺名了 I can't wait till we choose stage names.
你觉得哪个名字好 Which do you think is better?
肌肉美男还是大薇薇 Trevor St. Mcgoodbody or David?
你看你 净想这些个没用的 I don't think you have to worry about stuff like that.
这门课的主题在于内省 This class is more about introspection.
杯具 Drag.
貌似还有救 Less of a drag.
都闭嘴 Quiet!
环绕我席地而坐 Form a trust circle around me
围成信任之环 and sit on the floor.
啥子环 A trust circle?
就是一圆圈 It's just a circle.
围圈 坐下 It's a circle. Sit down.
表演关乎发掘 关乎表达 Acting is revealing, expression.
当我们释放痛苦时 When we release pain,
人与人之间便有了共鸣 We become visible to each other,
这就是演员的职责所在 And that is an actor's job.
除此之外 务必谨记 That and, you know,
要置身物外 超乎本体 pretending to be other people.
从你开始 Let's start with you.
跟我们讲述和分享 Access and share with us
一段刻骨的痛苦回忆 a profoundly deep and painful memory.
我当时在操场上 I'm on the playground.
不许笑我 Stop taunting me!
我只是想荡秋千而已 I just want to go on the swings!
说得好 Good.
谁儿时没体验过成长的痛 Early childhood is a treasure trove of pain.
这是今早的事来着 That happened this morning.
到你了 You're up.
我吗 Me? Um...
其实我认为... I don't-- I don't think, uh...
我不是要你"认为" I don't want you to think.
用心感受 Feel!
回到过去 Go back.
深入挖掘 Dig in. Emotilize.
一吐为快 Something hurt you.
我高中时是校足球队队长 I was captain of my high school football team.
做人难 做名人更难 It was very hard being popular.
傻逼 What a loser.
好吧 下一个 Okay, great. Next person.
我总觉得自己被人忽视 I've always felt somehow ignored,
几乎成了隐形人 Almost invisible.
每次我想说点什么的时候 总有人... Like every time I go to say something, somebody just--
我曾经惨遭叔叔爆菊 My uncle put his finger in my no-no!
表演之路 每始于此 This--this is where acting begins.
欢迎来到"《谁主乾坤》批判赏析"课堂 Welcome to "A critical analysis of who's the boss?"
我是彼得·谢菲尔德教授 I am Professor Peter Sheffield,
我想先问一个简单的问题 and I'd like to begin with a simple question--
谁主乾坤 Who was the boss?
请讲 Yes.
安杰拉 Angela.
《谁主乾坤》中角色名
大功告成 下课 Oh, well! Class dismissed!
大错特错 大家安静 No, calm down. Calm down.
抱歉 I'm sorry, um...
-请问你是... -阿布蒂 - Mister...? - Abed.
阿布蒂先生 答案没这么简单 The answer is not quite that simple, Mr. Abed.
问题都是如此 Few are.
现在 请大家翻开我的书 Now, if everyone could please turn to page 12
到第12页 in my book...
傻逼 Loser!
你真的要在明天之前看完这本书吗 You really have to finish that whole book by tomorrow?
是 不过这不是难事 Yeah, but it's a page-turner.
我正读到他顺着托尼·米塞利的家谱 I'm on the chapter where he traces Tony Micelli's genealogy
一路追溯到了凯撒大帝头上 all the way back to Caesar.
这总要好过跟皮尔斯一起品酒 Well, it's gotta be better than wine tasting with Pierce.
他拒绝喝黑比诺葡萄酒 He refused to drink pinot noir
因为他认为那是法语"黑鸡鸡"的意思 because he thought it was french for "Black penis."
而且今天他又迟到了 And he's late. Again.
这不是你的错 It's not your fault.
不是你的错 It's not your fault.
谢谢 Thank u.
我保证他肯定会来 Oh, I'm sure he'll be here.
他才不会放弃插科打诨 He wouldn't miss a chance to pop in and
口出不逊的机会 say something offensive.
不久后的一天 那老头就会 One day soon, that man's gonna
做出些惊世骇俗之举 run out of ways to shock people.
同志们 Everybody,
这位是吴梅 this is Wu Mei,
我们要结婚了 and we're getting married!
但肯定不是今天 But it's not gonna be today.
这么说 你要跟那位 So, uh, you're getting married
年轻性感的尤物结婚了 to that beautiful young thing?
看来"一见钟情"真的应验了耶 Well, uh, stranger things have happened.
扯 才没应验 No, no, they haven't.
你说你们是刚认识的吗 You said you guys just met?
昨天 上完品酒课就认识了 Yesterday, after wine tasting class.
我提了一句 说她的胸器 I mentioned that her breasts were larger
足以傲视全亚洲 than most Asian women,
然后我们就聊了起来 And, uh, we just got to talking.
结果发现皮尔斯居然多次到过中国 Turns out Pierce has been to China many times.
墨西哥禁放的烟花品种 It's the only place to get fireworks
在中国都能买到 that are too dangerous for Mexico.
烟花是墨西哥的传统产业
非也 我是去视察工厂 No. I go to visit my factory.
霍桑湿巾可是亚洲第一品牌 Hawthorne Wipes are the Number One moist towelette in Asia.
几分钟后 我们就明白 Anyway, after a few minutes, we both just knew
我俩定要比翼双飞 一生不变 we were meant to be together forever.
要是她发胖了就另算了 Or at least until she gets heavy.
现在 我们得赶紧走了 And, uh, now we must leave you.
好多事要安排呢 Many plans to make.
懂得 人生大计嘛 Yes, yes, big plans.
好吧 咱们该怎么办 Well, what are we gonna do?
要不要开始筹备订婚派对 Plan an engagement party?
你们脑子没进水吧 这是诈婚好不好 Are you out of your mind?! This is a scam.
她不是为了钱就是为了绿卡什么的 She's after him for his money or a green card or something!
可他们看起来很恩爱啊 They seem to really like each other.
是吗 皮尔斯的前三任妻子 Yeah, and Pierce married three of his wives
都是认识不到一月就嫁给他了 after knowing them less than a month.
没准人家就是个多情种子呢 Maybe he's just a romantic.
这种浪漫你可理解不了 Not that you would understand romance.
少跟我谈什么浪漫 安妮 Don't preach to me about romance, Annie.
哥也是在热气球上玩过3P的男人 I had a three-way in a hot air balloon.
看来只能靠自己了 Guess I'll do it myself.
-要不要一起走 -好 - Want to go? - Mm-hmm.
好家伙 看来某人这次真激动了 Boy, he seems really worked up.
别受他那份罪 Hey, don't take on his pain.
照顾好自己 Tend your own garden.
咱们课上见 I'll see you in class.
怎么回事 What's going on?
在表演课上我没什么痛苦经历可讲 Oh, um, I didn't have a painful experience
所以我就无中生有 to share in acting class, so I made up this story
说我叔叔曾经猥亵我的屁屁 about my uncle trying to touch my butt.
布雷塔特别喜欢收受伤的男子 Britta's attracted to men in pain.
这能帮她掩盖自己的心理问题 It helps her pretend to be mentally healthy.
-不是吧 -没错 - Really? - Yeah.
我还真没注意到 I hadn't noticed.
特洛伊 这样下去没好结果的 Troy? Nothing good can come of this.
是啊 Yeah.
我得慎重考虑 I'll have to think really hard
避免形势恶化 about how to defuse the situation.
不要 路修斯叔叔 No, Uncle Lucius!
我不想在洗衣房里玩 I don't want to play in the laundry room!
伤不起啊 My emotions!
伤不起 My emotions!
表演课到此结束 Actors dismissed.
对了 课后作业是 Uh, for homework,
在浴缸里浅酌一杯科涅克白兰地 drink a glass of cognac in a bathtub.
特洛伊 我感觉看到了 Troy, I feel like I'm seeing
一个完全不同的你 a whole different side of you.
黑暗往事 不堪回首 There's just so much darkness.
我的灵魂也阴暗不堪 And my soul is darkening,
我的心灵因扭曲的个性而愤怒不已 And my heart is mad at my kidneys, and...
我的嘴 My mouth...mm!
明天见 See you tomorrow?
你好 Uh, hello.
嗨 很高兴你能过来 Oh, hi. I'm glad you could come.
请坐 Please sit.
我感觉咱俩昨儿见面气氛不太好 I felt like we got off on the wrong foot yesterday,
所以咱们今天就换个气氛 And I wanted to offer you my, uh, other foot.
首先 请允许我祝贺你俩的结合 First, let me just say how happy I am for you both.
你父母肯定特别高兴吧 Your parents must be so excited.
他们会来参加婚礼吗 Are they coming to the wedding?
他们绝不肯错过的 Oh, they would not miss it.
我妈妈肯定会按照习俗烹制鱼翅羹 My mother will make the customary shark's fin soup,
我爸爸肯定会喝得酩酊大醉 And my father will get drunk
像《波拉特》一样丑态百出 and make bad impression of Borat.
同名幽默讽刺电影 有兴趣可自行查看
看到女婿和自己同辈 Oh, so your parents don't mind
你的父母也毫无异议吗 having a son-in-law roughly their age?
不会啊 皮尔斯英俊睿智 No. Pierce is a beautiful, wise man,
独具绅士风范 very gentle soul.
我要告诉你的是本人是律师 Uh, let me tell you that I am a lawyer,
所以 如果你只是 so if you need any help at
移民申请绿卡受挫 我可以帮忙 all navigating the whole green card immigration hassle.
我已经是双重国籍公民了 I am dual citizen already.
中国其实不承认双重国籍
这样啊 我可以帮你看一下婚前协议 Oh. Well, if you'd like me to look at the prenup...
我猜你肯定有的吧 I assume you have one.
有啊 不过我爸的律师会负责这个的 Yes, but my father's lawyers will take care of this.
毕竟自己的家产 要多留心呢 After all, we must protect our family fortune.
黔驴技穷啊 Now I'm stumped.
您说什么 Excuse me?
我是说 Uh, it was--
很高兴跟你聊天 That means it was very nice talking to you.
好吧 您高兴就好 Oh, okay, if you say so.
-好 -再见 - Okay. - Okay, good-bye.
你干吗对她刨根问底的 Why were you grilling her?
听着 我要潜入她家一探虚实 Listen, I'm gonna bust into her apartment.
你有钩锚什么的吗 Do you have any grappling hooks.
没准皮尔斯最终找到了真爱呢 Maybe Pierce finally found his soul mate.
这种笑话从你嘴里出来 怎么一点讽刺味都没有 How can you say those things without any trace of irony?
所以咱江湖人称"口风好"嘛 That's why they call me irony-free Annie.
信我一句 你的江湖称号可不是这个 Mm, trust me, that's not what they call you.
请进 Yes?
阿布蒂先生 有何贵干 Oh. Mr. Abed. What can I do for you?
我把书全看完了 教授 I finished your book, Professor,
电视剧《谁主乾坤》也看了 一集不落 And I've been watching episodes of Who's The Boss?
我觉得纵观全集 您还是有所疏漏 And I think there's something that you might have overlooked.
阿布蒂先生 你看到我的墙了吗 Mr. Abed, will you look at my wall?
-看到了 -看到什么了 - Mm-hmm. - What do you see?
-照片 -什么照片 - Photographs. - Of what?
-你 -和谁照的 - You. - With whom?
托尼·丹泽 朱迪斯·赖特 Tony Danza, Judith Light,
都是《谁主乾坤》的演员
艾莉莎·米兰诺 Alyssa Milano,
以及《谁主乾坤》第三季厨师 Who's The Boss? Season Three caterer,
"催人狂魔"高登·加里根 Gordon "Giddy-up" Galligan.
我对该剧集做过系统研究 阿布蒂先生 I have studied this show, Mister Abed.
我不是粉丝 I am not a fan,
不是追星族 I am not a groupie,
我是学者 I am an academic.
当我问道"谁主乾坤"时 When I ask the question, "Who's The Boss?"
其实只是个反问句 It is a rhetorical question.
当我在这问题上再问一句"怎样算主乾坤" When I ask the question beyond the question, "What is a boss?"
我还坚持是安杰拉 因为谁主乾坤... I really think it's Angela, because if it's a boss...
够了 Enough!
我请你离开我的办公室 I would like you to leave my room.
我的思想很开明的 教授 My mind is open, professor.
正如莫纳的卧室门 对谁都开放 It's as open as the door to Mona's bedroom.
-可惜您做不到 -你说什么 - It's a shame yours isn't. - I beg your pardon?
有了 我刚刚想到一个好主意 You know? I just got a wonderful idea.
下节课你何不亲自来讲呢 Why don't you teach the next class?
这样你就可以跟大家讲讲你的开明思想了 That way you can share your open mind with everybody.
很好 很好很好很好 Cool. Cool cool cool.
必杀 Pchew.
我真是感动得无与伦比 I couldn't be more touched
谢谢你们举办这个订婚派对 that you all threw us an engagement party.
你威胁说要是不办 就扎我们轮胎 You said if we didn't, you'd slash our tires.
她可真幽默 She is funny.
就像奥普拉 Like Oprah.
奥普拉又不是喜剧演员 Oprah's not a comedienne.
你很幽默 体态又像奥普拉 No, you are funny, and you are like Oprah.
-没错 -啥米 - Yeah. - What?
谢谢 Thank you.
皮尔斯 请接受我真诚的祝福 Pierce, I'd like to offer my sincere congratulations.
人生漫漫 真爱难寻 It's hard enough to find people
对你来说尤其如此 you can stand in this life,
你已然失禁 又即将步入痴呆 Let alone someone who's willing to stomach
甘愿忍受这个的人 绝对凤毛麟角 your imminent dementia and present incontinence.
借你美言 杰夫 Thank you, Jeff.
但愿她能填平爷的欲壑 I just hope she can satisfy me.
房事方面 我就像一只贪得无厌的狒狒 I'm like an insatiable baboon in the bedroom.
无需自谦 Don't sell yourself short.
你哪方面都像狒狒 You're a baboon everywhere.
我和阿布蒂来这里 Seems like just yesterday
吃霸王餐的情景 仍然历历在目 me and Abed dined and ditched here.
拿着这个 Here, hold this.
什么玩意儿啊这是 Ugh, what is this?
我下馆子都自备开胃菜 以免服务员种族歧视 I always carry some spare apps in case the wait staff's racist.
谁那有餐巾 Where's a napkin?
给你 Uh, here you go.
多谢 Oh, thanks.
快看哪 Check that out.
皮尔斯和红龙辣妹 夫妻档亮了 Hats off to Pierce and the hot red dragon.
为什么一直这么叫她 Why do you keep calling her that?
"赤蛟"就是红龙的意思 "Hong Long" means red dragon.
不过这是她的中名 But that's her middle name.
在中国 都是姓在前名在后 In china, they put the last name first.
真是吃饱了撑的 I mean, they're nuts over there.
多谢各位赏脸 Thank you all for coming.
我知道大家有点始料未及 I know it seems fast,
但真名天女一旦出现 心中便有感应 but when you find the right person, you just know it.
我都碰到过七次真命天女了 此乃经验之谈 I know that because I've found the right person seven times.
饮料我请 固体食物免谈 So the drinks are on me, but stick to the crappy stuff.
我可不想账单飘红 惨遭爆菊 I don't want to get corn-holed on the bar tab.
皮尔斯 这种词可不能口无遮拦 Pierce, you can't just throw around a term like that.
爆菊 Corn-hole.
爆菊 爆菊 Corn-hole, corn-hole!
皮尔斯 特洛伊被人侵犯过 Pierce! Troy was molested!
好吧 Cool.
你一直没提起过 Troy, we didn't know.
特洛伊 要不要我发起一个支援团 Troy, do you need me to recommend a support group?
拜托 别把他当做弱者 Hey, he's not a victim.
你是位勇者 You're a survivor.
说实话... Yeah, about that...
我"被侵犯"这件事 I wasn't so much "Molested"
很大程度上是编造的 as much as I "Made it up."
什么 what?
大家一笑而过吧 这事权作茶余谈资 We're gonna laugh so hard about this later.
现在我来祝酒 I'd like to propose a toast.
赤蛟吴梅 人称吴梅"红龙" Wu Mei Hong Long, better known as Mei Hong Long Wu,
不仅不是格林戴尔在校生 Is not only not a Greendale student,
还在亚洲第二湿巾制造企业 She works for Red Dragon wipes,
红龙公司供职 the number two wipe in Asia,
该公司目前正密谋接管霍桑湿巾公司 currently attempting a takeover of Hawthorne wipes.
让我们举杯 共同庆祝 So please, raise your glasses
皮尔斯免遭商业间谍黑手 to saving Pierce from the clutches of a corporate spy,
另外 也祝福魅力小生在下 and to me for being attractive enough
不出意外 掳获此等货色不费功夫 to get a girl like her under normal circumstances.
不愧是风流倜傥陆小凤 Very impressive, Veronica Mars.
终于学会了善用谷歌 You learned how to use google.
而你学会欲擒故纵 故作矜持 And you learned to fight your physical desire for me.
拉倒吧 Oh, stick it.
你个无赖 You suck.
等一下 Wait, wait, wait.
录音提取软件 Record scratch app.
人呢 Where'd everybody go?
大多数人都回家了 Most people went home.
剩下的人跟着昌去了你家 The rest went with Chang to your place
要玩番茄酱大战 to have a ketchup fight.
看来还是得早点回家 Oh, jeez, I better get back there
好阻止他玩猴式蹦极 before he starts playing monkey drop.
莫问 Don't ask.
你一起来吗 Oh, uh, do you want to come?
我干嘛要跟你这个叛徒一起 Why would I want to go anywhere with Judas Winger?
你生我气了 你该谢我才对呀 You're mad at me? You should be thanking me.
谢什么 谢你棒打鸳鸯吗 For what? Ruining my relationship?
什么鸳鸯啊 What relationship?
你和那女人才刚认识 整件事就是美人心计 You just met the woman, and the entire thing was a lie.
她只是利用你 好侵占你的中国分公司 She was just using you to get your company in china.
我也只是利用她 好搞垮她的公司 And I was just using her to get her company in the sack.
众生攘攘皆为利往 People use each other Jeff.
但两个人互相利用 并不代表 It doesn't mean that there aren't good feelings
他们就没有真感情 that go aLong with it.
我喜欢她 I liked her.
人间胸器 She was busty.
我们之间确有情愫暗生 I thought we had something.
我只是一心想帮你 I was trying to help you.
我觉得 你费这么多心思 I think what you were trying to do
无非是想证明没有女人会喜欢我 is prove that no woman could want me.
你来了 Oh, you're here.
布雷塔 我很抱歉 Look, Britta, I'm really sorry.
吻你是个错误 特洛伊 Troy, kissing you was a mistake.
再不会有下次了 It will never happen again.
好吧 Good.
在我前男友帕布罗还没有 Before my ex-boyfriend Pablo was arrested
因伪造教堂遗迹被捕那会 for forging church relics,
他曾说过我只会喜欢 He accused me of only being attracted
某一种类型的男生 to a certain kind of guy.
不过他这人说话很难懂的 It was hard to understand him, though.
劣质酒喝多了 脾气爆的很 He was pretty huffed up on paint thinners.
也许有一天 你会喜欢上一个健全的人 Well, maybe someday, you'll fall for someone who's healthy.
那个他 Someone who,
不会一见自动公厕就心生恐惧 神志失常 other than his irrational fear of automatic toilets,
一个健全人 is normal.
今天谁先来 Who would like to begin today?
我先 I would.
首先我要坦白认错 With a confession.
我叔叔从来没有爆我菊花 My uncle never stuck his finger in my plop-plop.
是啊 我自己听着都觉得挫 I know. I'm bummed about it, too.
对不起 I'm sorry.
我想让自己更有料 I...want to be interesting.
想融入你们大家 I want to fit in with you guys.
我想够格成为演员 I want to be able to be an actor.
苦于自己不够痛苦 The pain of not having enough pain
这件事本身就是一种痛苦 is still pain, young man.
这事说起容易做来难 That may seem like an easy resolution, but...
但我们不是作家 we're not writers.
而是演员 We're actors.
故事在此毫无意义 Story doesn't matter here.
重要的是我们在聚光灯下 All that matters is our time
的演艺生命 in the spotlight.
故藉由词语"一主乾坤" And so, by all known definitions
众所周知的释义 亦即拥有相对权威的个体 of the word "Boss," I.E., one with authority over another,
对于十一选九所得出的 in 9 of 11 known possible fields
人们或教导 或任职 或引导或监管 in which one might teach, employ, guide,
再或者统领辖制的已知领域 oversee, and/or otherwise hold dominion,
命题"谁主乾坤" The empirically provable answer
经验主义角度下可论证的答案是... to the question "Who's the boss?" is...
安杰拉·鲍尔 Angela Bauer.
下课 Class dismissed.
我说了下课 Class dismissed!
自作孽不可活 There's a path you take and a path untaken.
你这是自作自受 哥们 The choice is up to you, my friend.
神马情况 《神马情况》批判赏析
怎么不见杰夫和阿布蒂 I wonder why Jeff and Abed didn't show?
阿布蒂我不清楚 Well, I don't know about Abed,
但杰夫一定在忙着摧毁别人的生活 but I'm sure Jeff just found another life to destroy.
你还在学表演吗 Are you still thinking about studying acting?
我计划试镜加菲蒂教授的 I'm auditioning for professor Garrity's
全黑人卡司版《屋上提琴手》 all-black production of fiddler on the roof.
现定名《箜篌引》 It's called Fiddla Please.
她在这里做什么 What's she doing here?
是我请她过来的 I asked her to come.
我想通了 或许你们才是天生一对 I was thinking, maybe you two were meant to be together.
你们都出言不逊 虚情假意 种族歧视 You're both rude, you're both deceitful and racist,
系出湿巾制造业王朝 and you both come from moist wipe dynasties.
像这样的有缘人 I think having that much in common
理应来次正式约会 justifies at least one real date.
吃顿饭应该还可以 I guess we could go out to one dinner.
-你买单 -你穿暴露点 - You're paying. - You're dressing slutty.
好吧 Fine.
墨西哥菜行不 How about Mexican?
还是泰国菜吧 How about Thai?
算是中国菜中的墨西哥菜 They're like Chinese Mexicans.
-精辟 -是吧 - Hmm, so true. - Mmm.
犹太佬没混头 犹太佬没混头 * it's hard to be Jewish, it's hard to be Jewish
在俄国 犹太佬没混头 It's hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo
犹太佬没混头 犹太佬没混头 It's hard to be Jewish, it's hard to be Jewish
在俄国 犹太佬没混头 Hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo
烧饼夹肉 钻石店的门楼 Bagels and lox, diamond shops
在俄国 犹太佬没混头 It's hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo
犹太佬没混头 犹太佬没混头 Hard to be Jewish, hard to be Jewish
在俄国 犹太佬没混头 Hard to be Jewish in Russia, yo
旧约古韵 百啭千回 Someone drop an old testament beat.
阿弥陀佛 Dreidels.