就在二战行将结束之际 罗斯福总统的身体 By the end of world war II, president Roosevelt's body
终究还是垮掉了 had finally succumbed to the polio
败给了折磨他毕生的脊髓灰质炎 that afflicted him his entire life.
说到这里我们就要提及雅尔塔会议 Which brings me to the Yalta Conference.
谁知道那次会议提出了哪三大要点 Who can tell me three key points brought up there?
安妮 Annie.
德国去军事化 The demilitarization of Germany--
不好意思 I'm sorry.
安妮·金 Annie Kim.
德国去军事化 The demilitarization of germany,
确立波兰边界 the establishment of Poland's borders
成立联合国 and the formation of the United Nations.
此外 这次会议达成的决议 Sidenote: The results of Yalta
就是日后冷战的开端 would later set the stage for the cold war.
剧透不厚道 Oh, boy, spoiler alert.
奖励你坐上轮椅巡游一周 Somebody just won a ride in the wheelchair.
布雷塔 你定下专业了真好 I'm proud of you for deciding on a major, Britta.
我挺想在祷告中感谢上帝来着 I'd like to thank the lord in my prayers about you,
可惜你穿着打扮还跟妓女似的 but you're still dressing like a streetwalker.
对 我要认真学习了 Yep, I'm getting serious.
整了个背包 新笔记本 I got a backpack, I got a new notebook.
还有那种透字的黄笔 Oh, I got one of those see-through yellow pens
以后我就可以给词画颜色了 so I can do that thing where you color in the words.
你说划重点 Highlight?
重点估计还是背包 Probably the backpack.
释放大马士革三囚徒 Free the Damascus three.
谢谢 天哪 Oh, thanks. Oh, whoa.
我认识这姑娘 I know this girl.
我们以前经常一起参加示威 We used to protest together all the time
她现在被人关在叙利亚 and now she's locked up in Syria.
真悲惨 Oh, that's terrible.
太悲惨了 Yes, it's terrible.
她在地球另一端 She's imprisoned by an oppressive regime
被高压政权关进了监狱 我呢 halfway around the world and I'm, what?
居然上大学? In college?
我的价值又在何方 Where are my values?
老天 她居然还有脸谱群 Man, she's got a facebook group?
头回用警用电筒 My first cop flashlight.
看我不拿它砸扁几个混球脑袋 Can't wait to get some brains on this bad boy.
您还安全吗 女士 没什么事吧 Are you safe, ma'am? Everything okay?
这人有骚扰你吗 Is this guy bothering you?
你他妈以为自己是谁啊 Who the hell do you think you are?
徽章上说了 服务人民 保卫人民 The badge says to serve and protect!
没写 No, it doesn't.
"我笑得甜不甜" 该死 "How's my smile?" Oh, man.
我到底是管啥的 What the hell am I in charge of?
看见那个垃圾桶了没 See this garbage can?
从图书馆奔出来的学生有时会撞到 Students coming out of the library bump into it.
你服务一下 保卫他们别撞一身垃圾 You can serve and protect them from a nasty boo-boo.
我要是撞上有人干坏事咋办 What do I do if I see a crime?
那就尽保安所能 What a security guard does--
去报警 call a cop.
你从哪里弄来的 Where'd you even get these?
-拜托 还给我吧 -不行 - Come on, let me keep them. - No.
求你了 情趣用品而已 Please? I swear they're just for sex!
本字幕由YYeTs人人影视 原创翻译制作 仅供学习 禁止用于任何商业盈利行为 更多影视更新 请登陆 www.YYeTs.com
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翻译：米粒 夕橙 小独 山炮
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校对：小独 时间轴：六水
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后期：鱼骨头 总监：小独
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《废柴联盟》 第三季 第二集 iTunes版本调教：Tears
这群洋相百出的废柴 And this ragtag group of cutups
就是我们学习小组成员 is my study group.
伙计们 这是我政治科学课的同学安妮·金 Gang, this is Annie Kim from my poli-sci class.
刚刚发现 原来我们高中绩点一样哦 We just figured out we had the same G.P.A. in high school.
其实我略胜一筹 毕竟我的学校更好 Well, mine was higher if you consider my school's ranking.
似乎你课业比我轻松 所以呢 Well, it sounds like you had a lighter course load, so.
我参加了很多俱乐部 Well, I was in a lot of clubs.
其中十七个是我建立的 I founded 17 of them.
我有意创办一个模拟联合国 Well, I was actually thinking about founding a model U.N.
就在格林德尔 有兴趣吗 Here at Greendale. Any interest?
我很可能无力抽身 I'll probably be busy,
你们呢 估计要努力学习 and you probably need to study,
还是回见吧 so see you in class.
好 再见 Okay, goodbye.
安妮 Wow, Annie.
收获不小呀 你的黄种恶魔姐妹花出现了 How progressive of you to have a multicultural evil twin.
黄皮安妮 An Asian Annie.
奥巴马引领美国多样化 Obama's America.
人家叫安妮·金 Her name is Annie Kim,
她也不是恶魔 and she's not evil.
是我朋友 She's my friend.
看着不像 Didn't look like it.
嗯 看起来你跟她争得挺激烈 Yeah, you seemed pretty competitive with her.
小心点 安妮 那都是心狠手辣的角儿 You be careful, Annie. They are ruthless.
什么 What?
咋了 我没说亚洲人 What? Not Asians.
我说女人 Women.
我才不要和她争 I'm not competing with he.
她挺可爱的 I find her adorable.
看她就像年轻几岁的自己 She's like a younger me.
是说那个几年前抗抑郁药吃多了 You mean the younger you that took so much adderall
在赛事中间冲进高中足球场 she tried to straighten the lines on our high school
要固定场地线的安妮吗 football field during a game?
小心点 安妮 Ooh, be caful Annie.
别被这姑娘蛊惑 You don't want this little girl
重堕黑暗深渊 to suck you back to the dark side.
你们这是干吗呢 Hey, guys, what're you trying to do here?
这可是咱家安妮 This is our Annie.
那小傻妞最多是个简装安妮 That little twerp is a can of Annie lite.
真较量起来 一定不敌原版 She couldn't hold a candle to the real thing
一败涂地 in any category of anything.
被如此夸耀并非我本意 Aw, well, I wasn't fishing for that.
你最棒了 宝贝 You're the best, kiddo.
知道还有啥也很棒吗 You know what else was the best?
雨林 The rainforests.
可惜好景不长 那些个专制混蛋 Too bad the fascist oligarchies are raping them
把雨林都砍来做汉堡了 不信自己去查 to make hamburgers. Look it up.
看来这妞又恢复往日丑态了 Looks like someone woke up on the regular side of the bed.
布雷塔受了点打击 Britta's just having a rough time
她朋友进监狱了 because her friend's in prison.
我去看了她的围脖 I went to her facebook page.
上面说她被催泪弹攻击 可能还叫人打了 It says she was tear-gassed and possibly beaten.
我好久没遭过催泪弹了 I haven't been tear-gassed in so long.
你走上了一条新道路嘛 Well, you're on a new path now.
真好 新道路耶 Oh, goody, a new path.
路上有没有信用卡 纯平电视呀 Is it lined with credit cards and flat screen TVs?
路过宜家吗 Does it go by an Ikea?
姐不想走上新道路 Maybe I don't want a new path!
管它什么路 Or any path.
姐就想走战争之路 Maybe my path is a war path
杀他个生灵涂炭 黑鬼子们 that leads to the terrordome, n-words!
好吧 我过火了 Okay, maybe I went too far.
我不该冒犯咱们黑人朋友 Maybe I don't want to offend my African-American friends,
但关键在于 But the larger point is,
姐和国家暴力机器的斗争永无休止 maybe I'm not done raging against the machine.
啥暴力机器 Raging against the what?
听着很危险 That sounds dangerous.
别担心 她搞不大的 Don't worry. She'll be bad at it.
别碰垃圾桶 Keep clear of the can.
先生 请绕着桶走 Sir, step around the can.
小心垃圾桶 学生妹 Mind the can, student.
我要给你发警告单 You just got yourself a warning.
警告个屁 死猪 I piss warnings, pig.
咱愤青无视一切警告 And that's how we do that.
我可盯着你呢 小姐 I got my eye on you, missy.
模拟联合国 更多详情请联系安妮·金
注册:今日 244教室 顾问老师: 克里格斯教授
你还好吧 丫头 You okay, kiddo?
挺好的 话说真有意思 Yeah, yeah. You know what's funny?
也挺傻的 This is so silly.
记得那个政治社会课上的安妮·金吗 Remember little Annie Kim from poli-sci?
她居然 剽窃了我模拟联合国的创意 Boy, she just... took my Model U.N. idea
然后 And just...
她还真是雷厉风行啊 She is quite the little go-getter.
等下 你说什么 Wait, what?
她剽窃了你的创意 She stole your idea?
我没防备 Sneak attack.
我就说 That's just like--
这次没说女人 是亚洲人 Not women, Asians.
重点在于 学校终于有自己的模联了 Well, the real important thing is that there is a Model U.N.
谁创办的其实无所谓 It doesn't really matter who starts it.
只不过她的名字会时常出现在章程里啦 It just means her name goes on some charter
然后在个人简历中提一提啦 and she gets to put it on her resume.
带领格林德尔队进军全国模联比赛啦 And lead the Greendale team to the National Model U.N.,
见见科菲·安南 布特罗斯·布特罗斯·加利 and meet Kofi Annan, Boutros Boutros Ghali,
[两人皆出任过联合国秘书长]
还有Will.I.Am[黑眼豆豆成员] and Will.I.Am.
布特罗斯·布特罗斯·加利 Boutros Boutros Ghali?
够了 我去灭了这个小丫头 That's it. I'm gonna find this little brat's off-switch.
杰夫 Jeff!
他只是为我抱不平 He's just being protective.
我去阻止他 I'll stop him.
我甚是激动 格林德尔终于 I am so excited that we finally have
有了模拟联合国 a Model U.N. here at Greendale.
我真的真的 极其非常 I am really, really, really,
十分特别 喜欢模拟联合国 really, really, really into Model U.N.s.
大学时代的我 人称"模联狂人" They used to call me Model U.N. guy back in college.
也不光彩 别去搜了 Well, that's not-- don't research that.
重点在于 我真的十分 The important thing here is that I am really--
抱歉打扰了 克里格斯教授 Pardon me, Professor Cligoris.
还是克格里斯 Cligoris?
怎么念都行 你来报名模拟联合国吗 Either pronunciation is fine? Are you here for the Model U.N.?
我来是要告诉你 模联的创意 I'm here to tell you that the entire idea
彻头彻尾都是她想出来的 to have a Model U.N. was hers.
真的吗 这么说你是卡拉卡·梅·埃克伯格 Really? So you're Clark M. Eichelburger.
[模拟联合国创始人]
从高中起 我就把你的照片嵌在项链里 So I've had your photo around my neck since I was in High School.
我说的是格林德尔模联 I'm talking about the Greendale Model U.N.
我家安妮把创意告诉了那家安妮 My Annie gave this other Annie the idea
结果这恶毒的小贱 风就起浪的人 and the diabolical little b--usybody
却背信弃义 抢走了创意 stabbed her in the back.
简直幼稚 It's childish.
本校模联成立 我真心感到高兴 Honestly I'm just happy there is a Model U.N.
安妮 他说的是真的吗 Annie, is this true?
我回想起来 那家安妮提出过这个想法 I recall other Annie mentioned the concept,
但她根本没有主动寻求 but she certainly didn't take the initiative
教师指导 to find a faculty advisor.
真想不到 你只会事成之后来抢功 I didn't know that all you had to do was call dibs.
我才不是来抢功的 I'm not calling dibs.
因为我才不是那种小肚鸡肠 Because I'm not a petty
争强好胜的小孩子 只会剽窃别人创意 competitive child that steals ideas.
我只不过是要拒绝承认 I simply refuse to acknowledge the authority
你这个盗版模联的主权 of your criminal Model U.N.
你大可不必承认 So don't recognize it.
反正它依旧存在 It still exists.
那我家安妮就创办自己的模联 Oh, then Annie'll just start her own Model U.N.
没错 专为成年人而设 Yeah, for grown-ups.
我坚决不会承认 Well, I still don't recognize it.
它就是存在 小妞 Well, it exists, baby!
抱歉 我没弄明白二位的关系 I'm sorry, I don't understand your relationship here.
他是你爸爸还是男友啊 Is he your father or your lover?
只能有一个模联 There can only be one Model U.N.
可以正式的代表本校 that officially represents this school
所以咱们冷静一下 so let's take our foot off the crazy pedal
暂且停止抬杠吧 for just a moment here.
只有一个办法能够合理的解决此事 There's only one rational way to settle this.
生死对决 上演模联大逃杀 A head-to-head Model U.N. Battle royale,
至于决战规则 我今晚好好拟定一下 the rules to which I would have to spend the evening devising.
明晚七点在自助餐厅 We'll have the competition tomorrow
双方模联正式开战 in the Cafeteria at 7:00 p.m.
最联合的联合国就是赢家 May the most United Nations win.
-十分公平 -太公平了 - Fair enough. - Totally fair.
咱们就等着公平对决吧 那谁家安妮 I'll see you in the fair papers, other Annie.
对了 你不是问我们的关系吗 Oh, and you were asking what our relationship is?
-我们是朋友 -对 - We're friends. - Yeah.
-好朋友 -成年好友 - Good friends. - Grown-up friends.
-没错 -对 - Yeah. - So.
我们感情特铁 We're friendly.
记住 打赢这场的关键就是 So,the key win this thing is
[桌牌从左至右:乌拉圭 美利坚 瑞士]
若有分歧 力挺安妮 when in doubt, agree with Annie.
你真贴心 杰夫 That's sweet, Jeff.
不过大家开心就好 But everyone should just have fun.
话又说回来 有啥比打赢更让人开心呢 Then again, what's more fun than winning?
从左至右:格鲁吉亚 中国 索马里
皮尔斯 Pierce.
强烈抗议你单独挑我问话 I'm offended you would single me out.
你认真读过代表国家的资料吗 Did you read up on your country's info-packet?
读了 Yes.
索马里拥有长达1900英里长的海岸线 Somalia has 1,900 miles of coastline,
有独立的政权 a government that knows its place,
枪支和老婆花钱就能买到 and all the guns and wives you can afford to buy.
我之前怎么没听过这个人间天堂啊 Why have I never heard of this paradise before?
我也有恶补本国知识 I studied up on my country.
我们可不可以说话带点口音啊 甜心 Is it okay if we do accents, sugar?
特洛伊 格鲁吉亚是国家 不是乔治亚州 Troy, Georgia the country, not the state.
没错 首都是第比利斯市 That's right. Capital city Tbilisi,
为前苏联加盟共和国 and former member of the Soviet Union.
俺们恳请贵国注意乃们的言行 And we kindly request y'all mind your ps and qs.
[还是乔治亚口音]
欢迎大家来到全球首届模拟联合国争霸战 Welcome to the World's First Ever Model U.N. off.
我们将依照决议能力 遵程与否 You will each be scored on your U.N.'s ability
以及秩序水平为两队打分 to pass resolutions, follow procedure, and maintain order.
终极目标当然是 世界和平 The end goal, of course, total world peace.
有问题吗 Any questions?
两个联合国是不是意味着有俩地球 Does two U.N.s mean there are two earths?
是的 没错 两个地球 Uh, yeah. Sure, two earths.
是位于不同星系的平行地球呢 Parallel earths in different galaxies
还是处于平行世界的同位地球 or identical earths in parallel dimensions?
后者 The latter one.
那两个地球是否各自拥有自由意志 Well, what does that say about free will?
够了阿布蒂 教授 Abed! Professor--
行了 咱们开始吧 Right, yeah, let's begin.
各就位 预备 Ready, set,
和平 peace.
危机爆发 Crisis alert.
[罐子上写着:世界危机]
埃塞俄比亚爆发内战 A civil war has broken out in Ethiopia.
起义军控制了粮食供应 Rebel forces have seized the grain supply,
导致人道主义灾难 creating a humanitarian disaster.
好 大家头脑都要冷静 Okay, cool heads, everyone.
美国计划组织多国维和部队 America proposes a U.N. peacekeeping force of
有一万人吧 10,000 troops.
乌拉圭同意 Uruguay agrees.
哦哦 中国也同意 Ooh, uh, China, too.
格鲁吉亚"国" 同样乐于相助 Georgia--the country-- is much obliged.
肯定还有难民问题 谁负责收留难民 There's gonna be refugees. Who can take refugees?
伟大的国家 索马里 The great country of Somalia.
这处珍宝之地 这个香格里拉 This gem, this Shangri-la
我国诚邀埃塞俄比亚难民前来 Graciously invites the Ethiopian refugees
在潮后海滩安营扎寨 to enjoy safe lodging and cool ocean breezes
高枕无忧 尽享海风清爽 on its sand-swept beaches.
很好 我们在循序渐进了 Okay, we're rolling.
瑞士方提议召开和平峰会 Switzerland proposes a peace summit.
好主意 瑞士代表 Good idea, Switzerland.
在和平峰会上 我们或可酌情讨论 And maybe at the peace summit we can discuss the possibility
开启平行地球通道的可能性 of opening a portal to earth ii.
这个计划先推后好吗 瑞士代表 Can we put a pin in that, Switzerland?
你理或者不理 二号地球就在那里 不离不弃 Earth ii is out there, can't ignore it forever.
天朝有的是钱 谁想要 Well, China has money. Does anybody want some?
太好了 美国提议利用中方资金 Yes! The United States proposes using China's money
资助农业项目 to fund agricultural programs
以扶持埃塞俄比亚可持续农场 to support Ethiopia's sustainable farms.
从而推动经济发展和社会稳定 Which should promote economic development and security.
都同意吗 All in favor?
全体通过 It's unanimous.
出色解决 模联蓝队 Good resolving, blue U.N.
你们兼顾了全部原则 You really covered all the bases.
我队也通过一致决定 We have a unanimous decision as well.
第一轮比赛 双方战平 Then after one round, we are tied.
两方模联均精于求同之道 Looks like both U.Ns are experts at fostering unity.
-我去 -你妹 - Crap. - Damn it.
危机爆发 俄罗斯 Crisis alert. Russia...
联合国就是这样 This is what the United Nations
对待你们的自由 is doing to your freedom.
自由如我一般惨遭禁锢 I'm your freedom! And I'm in a cage.
世界受制于淫威之下 With the world!
全拜他们所赐 Because of them!
我就知道你会在这里 I thought I'd find you here.
你能怎样 把我关起来 What are you gonna do, lock me up?
你为什么这么做 Just give me a reason.
我这就做给你看 I'll give you a reason!
够了 给我过来 That's it, you're coming with me.
他胆敢拖我的笼子走 He's pulling my cage.
保安人员蛮横执法 把我锁起来拖着走 I'm being pulled in my cage for no reason!
大家看到了吗 Is anybody seeing this?
世人看到了吗 脸谱转开了吗 Is the world seeing this? Are we facebooking this?
危机爆发 越南遭受海啸袭击 Crisis alert! A tsunami has hit Vietnam.
-大规模 -危机爆发 加纳饥荒告急 - Massive-- - Crisis alert, famine in Ghana--
-危机爆发 -结核病疫情爆发 - Crisis alert-- - Tuberculosis outbreak
-危机爆发 -人道主义援助 以进一步解决 - --crisis alert! - Humanitarian aid. We further resolve--
-裁军条约 -危机爆发 - Disarmament treaty. - Crisis alert!
来帮助妇孺度过饥荒 To help women and children get through famines.
拯救孤儿 Save the orphans.
放松核管制 Loose nukes--
-排水口 -朝鲜问题 - Sinkhole-- - North Korea--
-首相逃亡 -军事政变 - The prime minister in exile! - Military coup!
索马里愿慷慨分享热带雨林资源 The tropical paradise of Somalia graciously yields.
-中方会就此买单 -甚好甚好 - China will pay. - Gooder than grits.
瑞士对平行地球二号极为关注 Switzerland is very concerned about earth ii.
乌拉圭同意 Uruguay agrees.
乌拉圭发音有点像"你是gay" Uruguay sounds like "You're a gay."
庭院烧烤 Backyard barbecue!
乌拉圭恳请索马里代表 Uruguay kindly requests that
不要把国名念成"你是gay" Somalia stop pronouncing it "You're a gay."
-世袭君主制问题 -已解决 - Hereditary monarchy! - Resolved.
-贪污腐败盛行 -已解决 - Graft and corruption. - Resolved.
危机爆发 Crisis alert!
已解决 Resolved.
模联蓝队 战绩不错 Looking good, blue U.N.
世界和平 触手可及 Getting very close to world peace.
姑娘威武 谁与争锋 That's my girl. You are kicking ass.
好了 同志们 All right, guys,
最后冲刺了 凝神求稳 This is the home stretch. All we gotta do is focus.
我去 皮尔斯你够了 Oh! Damn, Pierce.
不是我放的 Ooh, that wasn't me.
我怎么没有 擦 刚闻到 I don't smell anything-- whup, I just got it.
其香可嚼 Oh, it's in my mouth.
同志们 正经点 Guys, come on, focus.
成熟一点 Like adults.
过不了这关 我们就要失分了 We're gonna lose a point if we don't get through this.
这浓郁得化不开的味道 哪穿得过去啊 Get through it? It's almost a solid.
危机爆发 Crisis alert.
老挝惊现屠族暴政 A genocidal dictator in Laos--
行了行了 这事一会再谈 Yeah, yeah, we'll get to that.
好 接着讨论土耳其的事 我们怎么办 Okay, so, looking at Turkey, what can you do?
咱们把这事捋直了说 So let me get this straight.
你带她来的理由 You're bringing her in here
是"扰乱治安" for "Making a mess."
我可不光是扰乱治安 I did more than make a mess.
我颠覆了整个制度体系 I turned your whole system inside out.
然后被我河蟹了 And I shut her down.
姑娘 你只是在地球模型上浇了点颜料 Young lady, you spilled paint on a globe.
如果你也算犯罪 那这货就能当警察了 You're as much a criminal as this idiot is a cop.
子虚乌有 None whatsoever.
好吧 但她在预谋违法之事 Okay, but, um, she's going to do something illegal.
不是吗 Aren't you?
真的吗 你 布雷塔·派利 Is that true? Do you, Britta Perry,
是否曾有过任何违法意图 have any intentions of breaking any laws ever?
我 我 I-I-
不忍耳闻 Oh, my god.
不 事情并没这么简单 No, it's not that simple.
我已经重获新生了 I have a life now.
安安分分选了专业 I have a major and--
请出去 Get out please.
认认真真用荧光笔 I have highlighters.
给我出去 Get out!
好吧 我知道你现在一定心乱如麻 Okay, I know you've got a lot on your mind right now.
但有个事 有人把 But somebody broke that thing
停车岗上往下落的那东西撞坏了 that comes down from the parking booth.
你知道吧 往下落的那东西 You know the thing that comes down,
阻挡车子 防止擅入 Keeps the...cars from coming in.
就是那玩意 作用像个门 但是只有一根杆子 The thing. It's like a gate, but it's just a stick.
绕着转轴落下的 Comes down, from a hinge.
阻拦汽车进入 Keeps the cars out.
上旋下落九十度 Goes up and down 90 degrees.
你说挡车杆 The arm?
红队得分 Ooh, point goes to red team.
余味怎么这么持久 How is this still happening?
我都忘了新鲜空气是什么味了 I can't remember what regular air smells like.
快想点办法 我们就要输了 Do something or we're gonna lose.
同志们 这场仗对安妮至关重要 Guys, this is important to Annie.
不管是哪位在诈尸发臭 速速招来 So whoever actually died a few months ago, 'fess up
我们好打桩穿心 收了尔等 so we can put a stake through your heart.
杰夫 Jeff!
安妮 我觉得这事启发我们 Annie, I think the real lesson here is
模联和联合国真的很像 that a model U.N., much like the real U.N.,
一遇到真正的危机就四分五裂 quickly falls apart when faced with actual--
唯一的启发就是我非胜不可 I think the lesson here is that I need to win this!
我超想赢 I want to win!
都怪你 And you!
你烂俗愚蠢白痴没品 You suck! You're a stupid, ugly poopface!
我比你强 I'm better than you!
安妮 够了 Annie, stop.
你现在就像小女生一样 You're acting like a little schoolgirl
幼稚而不诱惑 and not in a hot way.
好吧 Okay.
这话听着有点猥琐 Uh, that made me sound creepy.
但 事实确实如此 But--but here's the thing.
别盯着我 Don't look at me.
如果羞愧可以富集锌 If embarrassment were bountiful zinc deposits,
那我就是赞比亚了 I'd be Zambia.
安妮 这事儿没什么丢人的 There's nothing to be zambia about, Annie.
都是我的错啊 This is all my fault.
是我逼你和亚裔安妮竞争的 I pushed you into competing with other Annie.
开什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
实际是我拉你们下水的 I practically ran to you with that flier.
我想打得她一败涂地 I wanted to destroy her.
归根结底 我还是受不了 All because I can't handle the thought
别人得到的赞许比我多 of anyone getting more gold stars than me.
我真是幼稚 I'm such a child.
不 你不是 You're not.
听我说 当你对像对安妮·金那样 Listen, when you really hate someone
对别人羡慕嫉妒恨 the way you hate Annie Kim,
或者你如我一般 爱由心生 or when you feel the way I feel about you,
避免尴尬 解决危机的诀窍 the easy loophole through the creepiness and danger
就是不把对方当真 is to treat them like a child.
虎父无犬子 小子 你肯定行的 "A chip off the old block, you're the best, kiddo."
精神胜利法 It's a crutch.
当初我有意示好又羞于表达 It's a way for me to tell you how important you are
才会这么做 from a distance.
但现在 吾家有女初长成 But now you're becoming this...
你变得成熟独立 聪慧能干 mature, self-possessed, intelligent young woman,
我不能再拍着你的头 And I can't keep patting you on the head
或者居高临下地教导你了 or talking down to you.
但我喜欢和你亲近 But I like how close we are.
我不想因为长大 就失去我们的亲密 I don't want to grow up if it means losing what we have.
坚强点 安妮 Well, tough, Annie.
你必须长大 You have to grow up
世界需要你这样的杰出女性 because the world needs more women like you.
不能永远这么亲近呀 傻姑娘 Can't keep doing this forever, kiddo.
不行吗 Can't we?
-不 做不来 -不 太恶心了 - Nope. I can't, no. - Nope, that's gross.
实在是太恶心了 That feels gross.
还是回去看看小组情况吧 Well, I better go check on the group.
但愿他们还没走 If they haven't left already.
我跟你一起去 I'll follow you.
不过会保持距离 以示尊重 From a respectable distance.
同志们 Guys?
我给团队抹黑了 对不起 I'm sorry I put you through that.
我知道一句对不起弥补不了我的过错 And I know it doesn't make up for what happened,
但如果这么说 你们可否原谅我 but would it help if I said
屁是我放的 I farted?
不 安妮 Annie, no.
我不能让你背黑锅 因为 I can't let you fall on that sword because...
屁是我放的 I farted.
不 是我放的 No, I farted.
我放的 I farted.
-同志们 我真不是做雷锋 -我放的 - Guys, I wasn't doing the Spartacus thing. - I farted.
不 说实在的 我 No, seriously, I--
我们都放屁了 We all farted.
你们太赞了 Oh, you guys!
安妮 我又在放了 Annie... I'm farting now.
你们怎么还没走 Wait, why are you still here?
阿布蒂找到了反败为胜的方法 Abed may have figured out a way we can still win.
真的吗 怎么做 Really? How?
很简单 首先我们 It's simple, really. First we...
[阿布蒂小声瞎扯]
阿布蒂 我跟你说什么来着 Abed, what did I tell you?
别总嘟囔废话 You can't just mumble nonsense.
又没人偷听 No one's cutting away.
好吧 实际上我的计划是 Okay, fine, here's my actual plan.
那是什么 What is that?
是布雷塔干的 It's from Britta.
她发誓会搅了模联比赛 She's promising to disrupt the model...U.N.
据她说 这次的破坏 She says she's gonna cause a disruption that,
不至违法 但将会极大地威胁 while not completely illegal, should be a real concern
校园安全 to campus...Security!
不 Oh, no.
或许我们应该报警 Maybe we should call the real cops.
这么说 80年代的时候 You know, back in the '80s,
我领教过一位极品罢工抗议党 I had this real piece of work protestor,
真的是麻烦连连 used to always give me trouble.
知道她后来怎样吗 You know what happened to her?
她煽动了反WTO的暴动 She incited a riot at the W.T.O.
到死依然满腔愤慨 Got choked until she passed out.
被正经警察用真的警棍殴打致死 By some real cop with a real billyclub.
有时候 我就在想 Sometimes I wonder, you know?
你还在等什么啊 Well, what are you waiting for?
让这位小愤青知道世界的残酷 Go show that hippie how the world really works.
你是不是忘了什么 Aren't you forgetting something?
全体同意吗 All in favor?
你们这群白痴 反应就不能快点吗 Could you morons say aye any slower? Come on.
你们好啊 二号地球的人类 Greetings, people of earth II.
搞什么飞机 What is this?
我们是一号地球联合国代表 We represent the United Nations from earth I.
利用我们瑞典的强子对撞机 Using our Switzerland's hadron collider
和各国的资源 and resources from every nation,
我方地球的人们开辟了一条 the people of our planet have constructed
变维时空隧道 穿越到了这里 A trans-dimensional gateway here.
他们不能这样做 They can't do this.
科学上是可行的 The science works out.
太棒了 Yes.
我们有个提议 We come to you with an offer.
我们争取让世界和平 把我们的分数抹平吧 We have achieved world peace, tying our score with yours.
但如果你们同意承认你们输了 But we are willing to concede our victory
我们就承认我们输了 if you agree conceding yours,
然后共建一个大型联合国 forming one gigantic united united nations.
我们做到了 We did it.
你真是很傻很天真啊 You're a fool.
你这最后通牒从某种意义上讲就是一种进攻 Your ultimatum is itself a technical act of aggression.
如果我们只是拒绝你们也参政 If we simply refuse to recognize your authority,
我们仍会保持领先地位 而你们就输了 we still remain ahead and you lose.
但你仅仅是赢得了一个小比赛 But you win a simple game.
更有意义的胜利是属于我们的 The larger symbolic victory will be ours.
我方拒绝此提议 We refuse.
我要实实在在的胜利 I'll take the real victory.
安妮·金 你的决议合理有利有节 A logical, effective, common sense move, Annie Kim.
这就是联合国本身的一个缩影 One which flies in the very face of the United Nations itself,
一个满是空想 妄谈道义 a fundamentally symbolic organization
故摆姿态 惺惺作势的 founded on the principles of high-minded rhetoric
空余象征性的组织 and empty gestures.
蓝队获胜 Blue U.N. wins.
你在搞什么啊 What the hell are you doing?
没什么 Nothing.
无论怎么做 你都无法阻止我 And you can't do anything to stop me.
无法阻止是吧 Did someone say "Can't do anything"?
就知道你会来 I knew you'd come.
抓了个现行 You're so busted.
说了多少次 别在我身上演练手术 I told you to stop playing operation on me!
我不是你们的博智游戏 I'm not your damn board game!
幸好没偷吃我的剩排骨 At least you didn't get my spare ribs.