-他们不是住在304吗 -是303 我已经走错过两回了 - Didn't I say 304? - No, 303. I've already done twice.
特洛伊和阿布蒂的新家 Troy and Abed's new apartment!
[断背山装潢和牛仔照片亮了]
-快进来 进来吧- - Come on in. - Come on.
这里真不错 What a great place.
你们两位穿得好正式 You guys--you guys look so fancy.
谢谢 我们专门研读了"聚会主持准则" Thanks. We read a book on how to be the perfect party hosts.
首先 华服赴宴 Rule number one-- dress to impress.
其次 Rule number tow-
不要触及黑奴一类的敏感话题 Avoid touchy topics like the negro problem.
这书是四十年代写的 The book was written in the '40s.
真好 你们终于来了 Oh, good, you guys are finally here.
"终于" Finally?
雪瑞三点就到了 Shirley showed up at 3:00.
烘焙的时候时光飞逝 Time flies when I'm baking.
是度日如年 No, it doesn't.
楼道门大敞着 被人用砖头顶住了 Oh, the door downstairs was propped open with this.
这样很不安全 This is really unsafe.
三教九流想进就进 Anyone could have just wandered into your building.
那客人想进进不来呢 Like one of our guests?
-失陪 -多谢 特洛伊 - I'll be right back. - Thank you, Troy.
我来带女士们参观寒舍 Let me give you ladies the grand tour.
卫生间厨房什么的就不说了 而这个 Bathroom, kitchen, who cares, and this is my scale model
是《法柜奇兵》里机关滚石的微缩模型 of the rolling boulder scene from Raiders...
这石头真的能滚动哦 with actual rolling boulder.
[葡]别了 萨迪波[法柜奇兵对话] Adios, Satipo.
挺酷的吧 Pretty cool, huh?
很酷很惹火 Super cool. And sexy.
酷得勾人火 Super sexy cool.
拍得有点过 Overselling it.
比萨烤好了 I made pizza.
我们叫了真正的比萨 But we ordered real pizza.
自家烤才是真的好 Well, there's nothing more real than homemade.
你们这里原料不全 You didn't have some of the ingredients,
所以我只用了番茄沙司和奶油干酪 So I used ketchup and cream cheese.
我们叫了真正的比萨 We ordered real pizza.
那个 阿布蒂 Oh, Abed...
哦对了 送你的 Okay. Hey, got you that.
[西法英乱炖]欢迎光临"特布地" Bienvenido de la casa chez Trobed.
地方不错嘛 Very nice.
快看 印第安纳·琼斯 Oh, look, Indiana Jones
与永葆童贞公寓 and the apartment of perpetual virginity.
积点口德吧 持重大哥 积点口德 Chop busted, fellow adult, chop busted.
地方不错 豪宅算不上 但还过得去 It's nice. Not mansion-nice, but it's nice.
你之前不就和我共住豪宅吗 Didn't you used to live in a mansion with me?
没错 但这里更潮更新更适合我 Yeah, but this is more my speed and century.
我心无挂碍 把你的肖像收起来后 Doesn't bother me. I've hardly missed you at all
我都没怎么想念你 since I had you removed from my portraits.
杰夫 来看看 塞尔维亚朗姆酒 Jeff! Check it out. Serbian rum.
酒劲十足 在本国被禁 So strong it is banned there.
在塞尔维亚都被禁啊 杰夫 Banned in Serbia, Jeff.
好好领会 Let that concept sink in.
好吧 你慢用 我的提前走 Yeah, well, you enjoy. I have to leave early.
-是吗 -对 很抱歉 - Oh? - Yeah, sorry.
有家新俱乐部开张 我受邀参加剪彩 I've got an invite to the opening of a new club.
看看这名字 简直为我量身定做 Look at this place. It's like it was designed for me.
确实是为你做的 我提前一个月 It was. I made that in photoshop and mailed it to you
P了一张邀请函送给你 好让你今晚留出空 a month ago so that you'd keep tonight open on your calendar.
难道根本没有这么个 There's no such thing as
"美酒胸器与桌球"俱乐部 Single-malt Platinum Boobs and Billiards Club?
我居然大声说出来了 I guess I never said it out loud.
今晚我们将奉上比胸器桌球更有意义的东西 Tonight we offer something far more than boobs and billiards.
-什么 -打一四字词 - What? - One word, two syllables.
-别说是"心有灵犀" -快艇骰子 - Don't say charades. - Yahtzee!
玩心有灵犀成不 Is charades off the table?
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翻译：小独 夕橙 独醉
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校对：小独 时间轴：六水
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后期：鱼骨头 总监：小独
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《废柴联盟》 第三季 第四集 iTunes版本调教：Tears
好的 Okay.
看看"快艇骰子游戏规则" Now... "How to play Yahtzee."
无良奸商 非要把我们儿时玩具 Is there nothing from our youth
全都改头换面 继续捞钱吗 that these companies won't repackage for a buck?
什么"快艇骰子" Call it yahtzee all you want.
谁都知道 这就是波多黎各棋 Everybody knows it's puerto rican chess.
安妮 比萨来了而已 Annie, it's just the pizza.
不能叫他上来 得派个人下去拿 We can't buzz him up. Someone has to go down.
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating
六个独立的平行空间 six different timelines.
知道了 阿布蒂 Of course I am, Abed.
[二号平行空间]
是二 一 二 安妮 Two. One, two--Annie.
好吧 那就我下去 Okay, fine. I guess I'm going down.
说道"下面" All this talk of going down...
你们知道吗 Did you guys know I had sex
爷在飞机厕所里跟艾萨·凯特打过炮 with Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom?
正要吃饭呢 恶不恶心 We're about to eat.
信口拈来而已 不能算吹嘘 It's not namedropping if it comes up organically.
我去看下派好了没 I'm gonna check in on my pies.
-Roxa -闭嘴 - Roxa-- - No.
洗手间在哪 Bathroom?
走廊那头 Over here.
嗯 同志们 Uh, guys?
验孕笔长啥样 What does a pregnancy test look like?
就是片薄塑料 后面加了个手柄 Like a thin piece of plastic with a thing on the end of it.
如此说来 这货肯定是手枪 Okay, so this is definitely a gun.
我去 快收起来 Whoa! Yeah, put that away.
我勒个 安妮怎么会有手枪的 Oh, my--why does Annie have a gun?
不可能是手枪啦 女孩子玩的豆枪而已 That's not a gun, that's a girl's peashooter.
特洛伊 送你的 Here, Troy.
乔迁贺礼 Happy housewarming.
杰夫 你准备怎么处理 Jeff, what are we gonna do about this?
我去喝一杯 嗷 I'm gonna get a drink. Ow!
笑个毛啊 What's so funny?
白痴撞了头 你说好不好笑 I don't know, people hitting their heads.
一个一个来 大家别抢 Don't fight over them.
算了 给点面子抢抢吧 Well, y-you can fight a little.
有异味 Smells weird.
请你再说一遍 I beg your pardon?
有异味 你干什么了 Smells weird. What did you do?
阿布蒂 这么问别人不好 Abed, you don't ask someone a question like that.
很没礼貌 It's not dignified.
比萨 Pizza!
比萨比萨吃得香 Pizza, pizza, go in tummy
填饱空空小肚肠 me so hung-ee me so hung-ee
外卖那家伙超级猥琐 That pizza guy was super creepy.
那你还说他出来卖[此处pizza一词双关] So you're saying he was a pizza guy?
我很好奇其他平行空间情况怎样 I wonder what happened in those other timelines.
阿布蒂 压根没有平行空间这说 Abed, there are no other timelines.
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating
六个独立的平行空间 six different timelines.
知道了 阿布蒂 Of course I am, abed.
[四号平行空间]
四 一二三四 雪瑞 Four. One, two, three, four--Shirley.
好吧 帮我看着派 可别糊了 Okay, just don't let my pies burn.
记住了 谁都不许吃她的派 Remember, no one eats those pies.
别这样 跟她说清楚就行 Come on, let's just talk to her.
我们试过了 安妮 她选择了无视 We tried that, Annie, but she ignored us.
她真的对烘焙有病态执念 The woman has a baking problem
大家不说破 我也不想总唱黑脸 now I-I don't like being the bad guy anymore than anybody else--
-Roxa -闭嘴 - Roxa-- - No.
洗手间在哪 Bathroom?
走廊那头 Yeah, over here.
咱们都说好了 不许鸟她的点心 We have a pact. We do not enable her baking.
长痛不如短痛 It's gonna be better for her in the long run.
你知道谁才叫"长痛"吗 Heh, you know who got it in the long run.
艾萨·凯特 爷在飞机厕所里跟她打炮那会 Eartha Kitt, when I nailed her in the airplane bathroom.
恶不恶心啊 皮尔斯 Ew, Pierce.
怎么了 信口拈来嘛 What? Came up organically.
给 特洛伊 乔迁贺礼 Here, Troy. Happy housewarming.
太好了 Oh, cool.
谢谢 皮尔斯 Thanks, Pierce.
什么东西啊 What is it?
怎么 这是传统的挪威巨怪娃娃 What? It's a traditional Norwegian troll.
我跟特洛伊在一起住的时候 When Troy and I were living together,
一直将它摆在餐厅里 I had it on display in the hall.
就在他卧室外面 You know, outside his bedroom.
他好像蛮喜欢这个 He seemed very taken with it.
这玩意天天瞪着我睡觉啊 It used to watch me sleep!
皮尔斯 我真鄙视你 Pierce, shame on you.
杰夫 你准备怎么处理 Jeff, what are you gonna do about this?
我去喝一杯 I'm gonna get a drink.
天哪 你没事吧 Oh, my God! Are you okay?
毫无感觉 Barely felt it.
去洗手间 我给你检查下 Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.
很没礼貌 It's not dignified.
披萨来啦 Pizza!
比萨比萨吃得香 填饱空空小肚肠 Pizza, pizza in my tummy! Me so hung-ee me so hung-ee
都记得吧 我的派拿出来没 Did someone remember to take out my pies?
不是吧 Seriously?
哦 不要 Oh! Oh, no.
不是吧你们 Seriously?
雪瑞 没关系的啦 Shirley, it doesn't matter.
反正我们也没打算吃 We weren't gonna eat them.
别仗着"烘焙点心"呼三喝四 You're not allowed to have "Baking things" as an identity.
身为组里唯一的已婚妇女 我也很无奈 Excuse me for being the only married woman
组里满是钟情少年怀春少女 in a group full of horny toads who sit around all night
整晚上就忙着眉来眼去 just making googly eyes at each other.
眉来眼去 Googly eyes?
雪瑞 没关系 Shirley, it's okay.
也没人冲我眉来眼去 咱俩同命相怜 Nobody makes googly eyes at me either. We're the same.
雪瑞 雪瑞 Shirley,Shirley!
[葡]别了 萨迪波[法柜奇兵对话] Adios, Satipo.
不明白她为什么要伤心 I don't know why she's so upset.
也许在其它平行空间 她的派并没有烤糊 Her pies probably didn't burn in the other timelines.
阿布蒂 雪瑞刚刚精神崩溃了 Abed, Shirley just had a nervous breakdown.
-更像是精神 -焙溃 我懂 - More like a nervous-- - Bakedown! I know!
我不是故意那么说的 I didn't say it on purpose.
还有阿布蒂 压根没有平行空间这说 And Abed, there are no other timelines.
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating
六个独立的平行空间 six different timelines.
知道了 阿布蒂 Of course I am, Abed.
[三号平行空间]
三点 一二三 皮尔斯 Three. One, two, three--Pierce.
我擦 Crap.
说到擦 有一回我在飞机洗手间偶遇艾萨·凯特 Speaking of crap, I was taking one in an airplane bathroom
她打算跟我打炮 when Eartha Kitt decided to bang me.
怎么 脑中想到 就脱口而出了 What? It's where my mind went.
你的脑子早就脱逃了吧 Your mind went years ago.
我去看下派好了没 I'm gonna check on my pies.
-Roxa -闭嘴 - Roxa-- - No.
洗手间在哪 Bathroom?
走廊那头 Yeah, over here.
我喜欢你的新家 特洛伊 I love your place, Troy.
你现在是 真正的成熟了 You're all... grown up now.
难以置信 居然还有红木双层床 I can't believe those are real mahogany bunk beds in there.
我打赌花了你不少钱吧 I bet that cost you a few allowances.
很好 Okay.
别呀 特洛伊 Aww! Troy.
这下看出来了 Now we done it.
布雷塔在洗 Britta's in the bath--
[葡]别了 萨迪波[法柜奇兵对话] Adios, Satipo.
-谁呀 -特洛伊 - Who is it? - Troy.
我正洗着手呢 Um, I'm washing my hands.
正好 我直接进去了 Good, then I can come in.
你好 Oh, hi!
我刚刚在吸烟 Um, I was smoking a cigarette.
别哄我 我都21岁了 I know what you were doing. I'm 21 years old.
成熟男人是也 I'm a man.
我懂你 I know that.
大家都懂 We all know that.
那为什么杰夫老挤兑我呢 Then why is Jeff always picking on me?
最近你对特洛伊有点过了 You seem to be a little hard on Troy lately.
我去喝一杯 嗷 I'm gonna get a drink. Ow!
天哪 你没事吧 Oh, my god, are you okay?
毫无感觉 I barely felt it.
去洗手间 我给你检查下 Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.
布雷塔在洗手间 Britta's in the bathroom.
怎么了 Oh, no, what happened?
头上受了点小伤 如果是擦伤 Minor head wound. If there's an abrasion,
就得用碘酒消毒然后冰敷一下 we'll clean it with iodine and apply ice.
你看护真有一手 You make a good nurse.
谢谢 Thanks.
雪瑞医生表示 迷你派才是最好的疗伤妙药 Dr. Shirley says mini pies are the best medicine.
求瞻仰雪医生学位证书 Then I'd like to see her degree.
他排挤你 正是因为现在的你对他旗鼓相当 He's butting antlers with you because you're a threat now.
你有房有未来 You've got your own place, you've got a future,
马桶旁边还有一满碗的橄榄 You've got a...bowl full of olives next to the toilet.
这可是正式派对 布雷塔 It's a fancy party, Britta.
你知道杰夫的洗手间里都有什么吗 You know what Jeff has in his bathroom?
我也不知道 Neither do I.
为防万一 他把洗漱用品都藏在洗手池下面 He keeps his toiletries in a safe under the sink.
他个性如此 善于自我保护 His whole personality is based around guarding himself.
想做成熟男人 没必要和他一样 You don't have to be like that to be a man.
你人真好 布雷塔 You're really cool, Britta.
靠 送披萨的人真是越来越丑了 Man, pizza guys are getting worse and worse-looking.
估计好看的都去演A片了 Guess all the good ones went into porn.
-撞吊扇了 -我错过了好多 - Ceiling fan. - I miss all the fun.
我很好奇其他平行空间情况怎样 I wonder what happened in all those other timelines.
谁在乎啊 Who cares?
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating
六个独立的平行空间 six different timelines.
知道了 阿布蒂 Of course I am, Abed.
[六号平行空间]
六点 Six.
一二三四五六 布雷塔 One, two, three, four, five, six--Britta.
-好极了 -真好 - Great. - Great.
知道还有什么特别好吗 乘机旅行 You know what's great? Air travel.
我有很多很多的飞行轶事 I've flown a lot, a lot of airplane stories.
有一回我和艾萨·凯特打炮 I once had sex with Eartha Kitt--
我去看下派好了没 Okay, I'm gonna check on my pies.
你们真是我最好的 You guys are my best--
我去喝一杯 嗷 I'm gonna get a drink. Ow!
天哪 你没事吧 Oh, my god, are you okay?
毫无感觉 I barely felt it.
去洗手间 我给你检查下 Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.
卫生间的橄榄是不是该续了 Do I need to refill the toilet olives?
-不影响 我检查过了 -你最好了 - We're good. I checked. - You're the best.
今晚彻夜卧谈吧 Want to stay up all night talking in our bunk beds?
好哒 Duh-doy.
给 特洛伊 乔迁贺礼 Here, Troy. Happy housewarming.
太好了 谢谢 皮尔斯 Oh, cool. Thanks, Pierce.
你看护真有一手 安妮 You make a good nurse, Annie.
谢谢 Thank you.
我那天真该要几条止血带来的 I actually had to apply a tourniquet the other day.
楼下正好有人对砍 A guy got stabbed outside my building--
什么 安妮 你可得赶紧从那种地方搬出来 What? Annie, you've got to get the hell out of that apartment.
你不该再把我当孩子看了 记得吗 You don't have to treat me like a kid anymore, remember?
没错 但成年人也需要保护啊 Yeah, but adults still need to be protected.
我止不住要担心你 安妮 I-I can't help but worry about you, Annie.
你对我来说太重要 You're important to me.
感受恐惧 收敛怒气 Feel the terror! Stop the tantrum!
感受来自挪威巨怪的恐惧吧 Feel the terror of the Norwegian Troll!
这边怎么回事 What's going on in here?
特洛伊搬来和我同住 皮尔斯眼红 Pierce is terrorizing Troy because he's jealous
就恐吓他 we moved in together.
你才眼红 You're the one who's jealous.
我为什么要眼红 Why would I be jealous?
因为你孤家寡人失心疯 Because you're lonely and crazy.
同志们 这位是托比 送比萨的 Hey, guys, this is Toby, our pizza delivery guy.
我知道这听起来很疯狂 And I know this is gonna sound nuts,
但我们坠入爱河 要结婚了 But we're in love and we're getting married.
我很好奇其他平行空间情况怎样 I wonder what happened in all those other timelines.
还有其他平行空间 Wait, there are other timelines?
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just you know, Jeff, you are now creating
六个独立的平行空间 Six different timelines.
知道了 阿布蒂 Of course I am, Abed.
[一号平行空间]
一点 特洛伊 One. Troy.
该死 Damn it.
我要快去快回 可不想错过"好戏" I'm gonna go as fast as I can so I don't miss anything.
知道我以前夸谁"好细"吗 You know who I used to call miss anything?
艾萨·凯特 Eartha Kitt.
怎么 他摆明是要我接话嘛 What? He totally set me up.
我去看下派好了没 I'm gonna check in on my pies.
-Roxa -闭嘴 - Roxa-- - No.
-洗手间在哪 -拐角就是 - Bathroom? - Yeah, over here.
杰夫 讲讲你爸的事情吧 Jeff, tell us about your father.
我去喝一杯 嗷 I'm gonna get a drink. Ow!
天哪 你没事吧 Oh, my God! Are you okay?
毫无感觉 Barely felt it.
去洗手间 我给你检查下 Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.
怎么回事 What the hell?
不 No!
快报警 Call 911!
阿布蒂 帮我止血 Abed, help me stop the bleeding!
我要死了 I'm dying!
-皮尔斯 -我要死了 - Pierce. - I am dying.
拿水 拿水 拿水 Water. Water! Water!
吸气 呼气 Breathe, breathe.
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating
六个独立的平行空间 Six different timelines.
知道了 阿布蒂 Of course I am, Abed.
五号平行空间
五点 一二三四五 阿布蒂 Five. One, two, three, four, five--Abed.
这就去拿 I'm on it.
知道还有谁被我拿下了吗 You know who else was on it?
知道拿下之后做了什么吗 And do you know what "It" Is?
大家均摊 把钱给我 Everybody give me money.
如此臭屁还真让人对你好感大增啊 Wow, that ascot really softens your personality.
我上了艾萨·凯特 I banged Eartha Kitt.
-Roxa -闭嘴 - Roxa-- - No.
洗手间在哪 Bathroom?
走廊那头 Down the hall.
我去喝一杯 嗷 I'm gonna get a drink. Ow!
天哪 你没事吧 Oh, my God! Are you okay?
毫无感觉 Barely felt it.
去洗手间 我给你检查下 Well, let me look at it in the bathroom.
布雷塔在洗手间 Britta's in the bathroom.
怎么了 Oh, no, what happened?
头上受了点小伤 Minor head wound.
老天 什么这么香 Oh, my god. What smells amazing?
有人想吃派 Oh! Someone wants pie!
你看护真有一手 You make a good nurse.
天哪 居然和平常型号的派一个味 Oh, my god. They taste just like regular-size pies.
万岁 Oh, yay!
乔迁贺礼 Happy housewarming.
太好了 谢谢 皮尔斯 Oh, cool. Thanks, pierce.
咱们私下里 我就是想说 Hey, while we're alone, I just wanted to say,
多谢你留我住宿 thanks for letting me live with you.
有时我觉得 烘焙甜品 Sometimes I feel like making desserts
是我唯一对小组尽力的方式 is the only thing I'm good for in the group.
但现在是时候了 我该自强自立 But now it's time for me to try and make it on my own.
一如当年的你 Just like you did.
我止不住要担心你 安妮 I can't help but worry about you, Annie.
我觉得你还是不要打开的好 Hey, I don't think you should open this.
不行 你在说什么啊 No, what--what are you talking about?
你对我太重要 You're very important to me.
糟了 我不该吃你的东西 Crap. I was not supposed to eat your stuff.
我们有约在先 We all made an agreement.
糟了 我干嘛要大声讲出来 Crap, I was not supposed to say that out loud!
糟了 好吧 实话跟你说 我现在正飘飘欲仙呢 Crap, okay, cards on the table, I'm really high right now.
-你不是吧 -你就不能放手给我 - Seriously! - Would you stop and give me--
不行 我想给你别的代替 No, I wanna give you something else.
一个洗牙器 A waterpik!
一艘快艇 两个洗牙器 A speedboat! Two waterpiks.
难以接受 我居然把派 I can't believe I'm feeding my pies
给了你这个瘾君子 to a drug addict!
瘾君子 你还是"强推派"呢 Drug addict? You're a pie pusher!
你强推自己的派 好获得关爱 You push pies to get love.
你放手 皮尔斯 Give it, Pierce!
我喜欢这礼物 It feels fun!
我突然有种似曾相识之感 I'm sorry, I just... had a weird deja vu.
你真是送礼只送丧门星 You're bad at gift-giving!
你刚才说担心我 That thing you said about worrying about me...
我爸总这么说 It's something my dad always said.
我要个乔迁贺礼不过分吧 I demand to be housewarmed!
不该提起这个话头的 Shouldn't have brought it up.
只是 我想起爸爸了 Just...reminded me of my dad.
不说了 Anyway...
玩亲亲入门课 A little make out 101.
避开老爸话题 Less dad talk.
泡泡糖唇彩别擦太多 And, uh, you could ease up on the bubblegum lip gloss.
我就要 No, I really--
不给你 No, you--!
披萨到了 Pizza time.
给我 你这个蔑神乱搞愤青妹 Give me this, you godless hippie skank!
你这个变态可悲 心理扭曲的臭老头 You're a sick, sad, twisted old man.
死了都没人理 And I hope you die alone.
我很好奇其他平行空间情况怎样 I wonder what happened in all those other timelines.
表明下态度 我希望这是真实时间线 I gotta say, I hope this is the real one,
因为我刚在走廊捡到个钢镚儿 because I just found a nickel in the hallway.
好吧 Okay.
自我左起开始数 投出谁的号谁就去拿 Starting on my left with one, your number comes up, you go.
提醒一句 杰夫 你将会创造 Just so you know, Jeff, you are now creating
-六个独立的平行空间 -知道了 阿布蒂 - six different timelines. - Of course I am, Abed.
我觉得不应该这样做 I don't think you should.
我们的生活陷于混乱已久 Chaos already dominates enough of our lives.
浩瀚宇宙处处翻滚着熵之怒涛 The universe is an endless raging sea of randomness.
我们无需独力抗争 只求登上人生之筏 Our job isn't to fight it, but to weather it--together.
风雨同舟 on the raft of life.
人生之筏 A raft held together by
由珍贵美好之物绑织 由我们掌控 those few rare, beautiful things that we know to be predictable.
绳子吗 Ropes?
藤蔓 藤蔓? Vines. Vines?
别插嘴啊你们 Let him finish!
是我们 Us.
只要我们彼此坦诚宽容 It won't matter what happens to us
接受各自的优缺点 as long as we stay honest and accepting
再大风浪也能闯过 of each other's flaws and virtues.
安妮永远需要鞭策 雪瑞永远乐于付出 Annie will always be driven. Shirley will always be giving.
皮尔斯绝不会道歉 Pierce will never apologize.
布雷塔狂放百搭 Britta's sort of a wild card from my perspective.
杰夫永远是老谋深算的绝世贱男 And Jeff will forever remain a conniving son-of-a-bitch.
阿布蒂 Abed!
骰子只有六个数 我们却有七人 There are six sides to this die and seven of us.
他使诈好避免下楼拿比萨 He devised a system by which he never has to get the pizza.
杰夫 Jeff!
-不是吧 -你这个阴险小人 - Really? - You crafty jackrabbit.
-我靠 -太没品了 哥们 - Dang, man. - Pretty low, dude.
不懂啥叫友谊就上网查查 It's called friendship, look it up. Encarta it.
拿披萨的人选已经有了 I think we just found our pizza-getter.
是的 就你了 Yes, we did!
下去又不会少块肉 Oh, like it matters who goes.
有什么好笑的 What's so funny?
报应 Karma.
他真是臭过 That guy sucks harder
飞机洗手间的马桶 than the toilet in an airplane bathroom.
飞机的洗手间 Airplane bathroom...
我的馅饼 Oh, my pies!
*罗克珊* *Roxanne*
*你不必将红灯亮起* *You don't have to put on the red light*
*这样的日子已经结束* *Those days are over*
*你今晚不必再将自己出卖* *You don't have to sell your body to the night*
唱得响亮 布雷塔 Sing, Britta!
我好喜欢你家 I really love your place.
你也搬过来好了 You should move here.
快来跳 特洛伊 Come on, Troy.
*也不管是错* *Or if it is right*
*罗克珊* *Roxanne*
*你不必将红灯亮起* *You don't have to put on the red light*
瞧见没 没我的领导你们就这副德行 You guys see what happens when I leave you alone, huh?
*你不必将红灯亮起* *You don't have to put on the red light*
*将红灯亮起* *Put on the red light*
-*将红灯亮起* -跳得好 特洛伊 - *Put on the red light* - Go, Troy!
*将红灯亮起* *Put on the red light*
敬皮尔斯 愿"尔"安"斯" To Pierce. May he rest in pierce.
雪瑞 你不觉得自己喝多了吗 Shirley, don't you think you've had enough?
多你妹 Of you.
伙计们 我不停地回想那一晚 Guys, I've been thinking about that night over and over.
真相慢慢浮现 One thing has become clear.
这是最黑暗最恐怖的平行空间 This is the darkest, most terrible timeline.
收起你平行空间那套 阿布蒂 Enough with the timeline crap, Abed!
皮尔斯腿部中枪身亡 Pierce got shot in the leg and died!
雪瑞变成酒鬼 Shirley's a drunk.
安妮被关进了精神病院 Annie's locked in a mental ward
因为她内疚到发了疯 because her guilt drove her insane.
杰夫在火灾里失去了右臂 Jeff lost an arm in the fire.
特洛伊的喉咙也完蛋了 出于傻逼原因 Troy lost his larynx because, for some dumb reason,
他企图吞灭一个燃烧的巨怪娃娃 he tried to destroy a flaming Troll doll by eating it.
你等明显不懂对抗巨怪之道 Clearly you don't understand anything about defeating Trolls.
我们现在是生不如死了 阿布蒂 Life has gone to hell, Abed.
这是真实世界 This is real!
看看我们 看看我 Look at us. Look at me!
布雷塔 你染了撮一洗没的蓝头发 Britta, you put one wash-away blue streak in your hair.
哥可是没了只胳膊 And I lost an arm.
正是 咱的人生没希望了 Exactly. Life got dark.
都怪杰夫掷了个一点 And all because Jeff rolled a one.
有罪都推到我头上是吧 我喜欢 Oh, I love how this is my fault somehow.
是我的错 It's mine.
我在脑海中一遍遍地回想 I've run over that night over and over in my head,
有个念头挥之不去 and I keep coming back to one thought.
我应该接住骰子 不让你扔出去 I should've caught the die and not let you roll it.
可我没出手 现在大家都遭罪 I failed to do that and we all suffered for it.
不过我会补偿大家 But I'm gonna make it up to you.
什么东西 What is this?
在所有平行空间里 毫无疑问这是最黑暗的 Of all the timelines, this is clearly the darkest,
所以我提议 大家都黑化算了 which is why I propose we commit to being evil.
我用毛毡为大家做了山羊胡 I made us all black goatees out of felt.
建议大家胡子长出来前 先贴这个 I suggest you put them on until you're able to grow your own.
从现在起 我是黑化阿布蒂 From now on, I am evil Abed.
我们是邪恶学习小组 有一个邪恶的目的 We're the evil study group, and we have but one evil goal.
回到主时间线 Return somehow to the prime timeline,
就是我阻止你掷骰的那个 the one that I stopped you from rolling that die,
我们消灭自己的光明镜像 then we destroy the good versions of ourselves,
夺回正常人生 and reclaim our proper lives.
黑化阿布蒂 Evil Abed.
作为黑化杰夫 我能对你更加毒舌点吗 As evil Jeff, am I allowed to pull fewer punches with you?
-当然可以 -我恨你 - Certainly. - I hate you!
闭上你那科幻鸟嘴 Shut up with your sci-fi crap!
老子连胳膊都没了 I lost my damn arm,
你却玩什么假胡子 and you're making fake beards!
山羊胡 Goatees.
邪恶版特哥布弟 Evil Troy and evil Abed
怎么了 What's wrong?
不清楚 I don't know.
没什么 I guess nothing.