今天是格林德尔历史性的一天 This is a historical day of Greendale.
举世闻名的赛百味三明治入驻我校食堂 This state-of-the-art Subway sandwichery in our cafetorium
代表着格林德尔往正规化发展 represents Greendale's first steps forward
迈出了第一步 into the realm of the legitimate!
没事 淡定 Oh, oh. No problem. You know what?
我用牙照样剪彩 I'm just going to get it started with my teeth.
正规化喔亲 妥妥的正规化 The legitimate! Oh. The legitimate!
这本该是我的三明治店的 That should be my sandwich shop.
这是我的主意 It was my idea to put one there.
-我们挺你 雪瑞 -没错 - We're here for you, Shirley. - Yeah.
特洛伊安妮和我都知道无家可归的感觉 Troy, Annie, and I know what it's like to be displaced.
为了防治白蚁 我们楼被封锁了 They're tenting our building for termites,
所以我们无家可归了 so we're homeless.
我现在住在睡眠研究实验室 I'm staying in the sleep study lab.
我只需要每三小时醒来 装成这样 All I have to do is wake up every three hours and go--
就能拿到两个学分 and I get two credits.
我俩打算在学校里打造 Yeah, and we're going to build
一个超屌的枕头城堡 a super awesome pillow fort here at the school.
又来这个 Another pillow fort?
有点重复自己老路的嫌疑哦亲 Kind of repeating yourselves, aren't you?
上次是毯子城堡 这次可是枕头城堡 That was a blanket fort. This will be a pillow fort.
施工难度更大 效果更屌 Way more difficult, way better.
难度越大的事越屌 例如携带病毒 All difficult things are better, like carrying a disease
或是现在憋着不放屁 or holding in a fart right now.
我想到雪瑞我俩怎么能整垮赛百味了 I just found out how Shirley and I are going to take down Subway.
-应该怎么弄 -院长 - Oh, how? - Dean?
我猜你很熟悉格林德尔校规吧 I assume you're familiar with the Greendale bylaws.
-真心不熟 -雪瑞 麻烦你来 - I am not. - Shirley, you do the honors.
每晚这个时候我就有点脑抽 My brain starts getting weird this time of night.
现在是上午十点 It's 10:00 am.
我谢你啊 You're welcome.
格林德尔校内的任何以盈利为目的的商业 "Any business operating for profit on Greendale's campus
必须有不少于51%的股份由本校学生持有 must be at least 51% owned by a registered Greendale student"!
这下可糟了 院长 That's too bad, dean.
我可记不得在我的绝经前女权后 I don't recall seeing Subway
体验营销课上见过赛百味同学哦 in my premenopausal, postfeminist experiential marketing class.
实际上 我正在绝前权后体销课的 Actually, I'm on the wait list
-等待名单上 -你谁啊你 - for the premen/postfem/ex mark. - Who are you?
大伙 这是格林德尔的新同学赛百味 Gang, meet Greendale's newest student, Subway.
你叫赛百味 Your name is Subway?
对 通过一项开天辟地震惊世界的法律手续 Yep, using a groundbreaking but surprisingly legal process
即公司拟人化 有血有肉的真人如我 known as corpohumanization, real people such as myself
现在获准可以作为企业老板的 are now allowed to represent the collective humanity
集成拟人代表 of business owners.
我签约废弃了出生时的身份 I have contractually waived my birth identity
现在是一名人类 身份是学生 名为 and am now a man and student named...
赛百味 Subway.
难以置信 I don't believe this.
拜托赛百味 你怎么可能只有1米78 Come on, Subway, there is no way you're 5'10".
那你有公投权吗 So you can vote?
实际上 不行 严格说来我才一周大 Actually, no, because technically I'm only a week old.
但请不要认为我 But please don't think of me
比你们缺少人味 as any less human than yourselves.
我也是来打发时间 上上无聊的课的 I'm here to hang out, take weird classes,
说实话派对也完全在我道德容许范围之内 and party as hearty as my morality clause allows.
新鲜饮食每一天 来一个 Eat fresh? Eat fresh?
-新鲜饮食 -真是我的好哥们 - Eat fresh. - That's my man.
天 你们知道格林德尔的学生 Wow, did you know Greendale students
严格来说算国防预备役吗 are technically in the army reserves?
让我们为和平祈祷吧 Let's say a little prayer for peace.
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■
翻译 老涵
翻译 米粒
翻译 猪猪
翻译 山炮
时间轴 菜六水
校对 夕橙欲出逃
后期 鱼骨头
总监 夕橙期待探班SFW
《废柴联盟》 第三季第十三集
安妮 你得想办法把我弄进睡眠研究室 Annie, you've got to get me into this sleep lab.
除了陷入无意识状态 我实在想不出 I can't think of a better use of my time here
消磨学校时光的方法了 than being unconscious.
这可不是供你消遣的课 杰夫 It's not a blowoff class, Jeff.
我们只准随身带进一件毛绒玩具 We're only allowed to bring one stuffed animal.
我带的是露丝 I'm bringing Ruthie...
不过利用它的育儿袋把纳森混进去 but using her pouch to sneak Nathan.
好吧 祝你愉快 Well, have fun.
等等 什么时候起我们有储物柜了 Wait, since when do we have lockers?
自从09年我们注册学籍那天开始 Uh, since registration day, 2009.
杰夫 你当年是不是根本没参加 Jeff, did you skip the Preorientation Freshman Welcome
新生欢迎会和篝火晚会 Seminar and Diversity Fire Circle?
我可算看透你了 This explains so much about you.
你是说两年半以来我一直有个储物柜吗 Are you saying I've had a locker here for 2 1/2 years?
万圣节舞会 万圣节后舞会 "Halloween Dance." "Post-Halloween Dance."
舞动奇迹 "Dance Contest."
奇迹舞动 真受不了 "Contest Dance." Oh, come on.
这是啥 拯救加瑞特 加瑞特怎么了 What's this? "Save Garrett"? What's wrong with Garrett?
现在没事了 我们已经拯救过了 Nothing now. We saved him.
等等 你是说"已经救过"加瑞特吗 Wait, that's "Saved" Garrett?
瞧瞧这是什么 情书吗 Ooh, what's this? Love letter?
这种信海了去了 Oh, it's probably one of many.
不 这是封吐槽信 Oh, no. This is a hate letter.
啥 让我看看 What? Let me see that.
"亲爱的杰夫 对于整日自诩是 "Dear Jeff, this might come as a shock
天神下凡的人来说 这或许是晴天霹雳 "to someone who thinks he's god's gift to the world,
但你实际上就是个目中无人的混蛋 "but you're actually an inconsiderate jerk.
金姆 Kim."
-目中无人 -金姆是谁 - "Inconsiderate"? - Who's Kim?
不知道 很明显她并不了解我 I don't know, and clearly she doesn't know me.
保重 Gesundheit.
我才没打喷嚏 I didn't sneeze.
看看这些傻缺 Look at these idiots.
这些蠢牛 笨羊 Cattle, sheep...
各种成群结队的脑抽牲口 other animals that travel in herds.
我想说无脑蛇来着 I want to say snakes.
只有我一个人为 Am I the only person enraged by the fact
企业以人类形式存在而愤怒吗 that corporations are taking human form?
老娘我早在高中校报专栏里预见这一切了 I totally predicted this in my high school newspaper column
专栏名叫"布雷塔忒不河蟹" "Britta Unfiltered."
-不和谐 我懂了 -你懂啥了 - Unfiltered. I get it. - Get what?
实际上赛百味弄这一手很可能是自取灭亡 Actually, maybe Subway taking human form could be its undoing.
布雷塔 Uh, Britta...
你是一位 积极进步 You're a, uh, progressive woman
颇为放...开自由的女性 of a more... liberated looseness.
你可以接近赛百味 找出点丑闻 You could get close to Subway and find out some dirt on him.
企业间谍 我好这一口 Corporate espionage. I like it.
口红里藏着麦克风 Microphones hidden in lipstick.
麦克风里藏口红 Lipstick hidden in microphones.
还有最致命最笑傲群雄的名器 And the deadliest weapon of them all--
-含棒猪笼草 -好吧 - The penis flytrap. - Okay!
本次谈话到此为止 This conversation is over.
我不是妓女 我数学课也没靠美色 I am not a whore, and not that I've done the math,
就算我是鸡 姐也是那种坐着飞机 But if I were, I'd be the super classy kind
直飞迪拜入住海底酒店的一代名妓 that gets flown to Dubai to stay in an underwater hotel.
-阿布蒂 特洛伊 -别急 院长 - Abed, Troy. - Ah, don't worry, dean.
我们已获得全部所需的许可权 We have all the proper permits right here.
哎哟我去 Oh, silly me!
这是家居卫浴商城的八折优惠券 This is a coupon for 20% off at Bed Bath & Beyond.
不要贿赂我 特洛伊 其实 No need to bribe me, Troy. Actually--
这个还有很多 There's plenty more where that came from.
我刚才谷歌世界最长记录之类的 Look, I was just googling record lengths of stuff,
发现居然有一项吉尼斯世界纪录是 and apparently there's a guinness world record
最大的枕头或毯子城堡 for the biggest pillow-- or blanket--fort.
你们应该冲击一下嘛 So you boys-- you should go for it.
给咱们学校扬扬名 Put this school on the map.
要是弄毯子城堡 咱们胜算比较大 We'd have a better chance of setting the record
毕竟那样进度比较快嘛 if we made this a blanket fort, you know, take less time.
但我们想建的是枕头城堡 We wanted to make a pillow fort.
我不想为了贪大而损了质量 I don't want to sacrifice quality for square footage.
自己知道牛逼就够了 不用什么纪录来证明 We don't need a world record to tell us we did something cool.
可我们要是成功了 就能见到那位 But if we won, we might meet that dude
指甲扭成花的哥们了 with the curly fingernails.
施立达·奇拉吗 没兴趣 Shridhar Chillal? Not interested.
我看过他的访谈 丫太装逼了 I saw him on a talk show. He came off as pretentious.
-我去喝点东西 -好 - I'm going to go get a drink. - Okay.
-特洛伊·巴恩斯 -莱伯恩副院长 - Troy Barnes. - Vice dean Laybourne.
你留了胡子 You have a beard...
还有马尾辫 And a ponytail.
我最近出了些状况 特洛伊 Going through some stuff right now, Troy.
你不用担心 Don't worry about it.
你有没有再考虑一下加入 Any chance you've given a second thought to joining
我们空调修理学院 my Air Conditioning Repair School?
不好意思 Sorry.
我最近跟阿布蒂正忙着做些牛气冲天的事 Kind of busy at the moment doing some awesome work with Abed.
对 阿布蒂 Ah, yeah, Abed.
你们俩还一起看那部电视剧 对不对 You guys watch that television show together, don't you?
《时空探长》 Inspector Spacetime.
有意思 特洛伊 Funny, Troy.
我觉得你和阿布蒂跟剧里人物特别像 You and Abed have always reminded me
探长和他忠诚的跑腿雷吉警官 of the inspector and his trusty constable Reggie.
真的嘛 Cool!
探长当然是睿智又决断 The inspector, of course, is smart, decisive,
雷吉嘛 And Reggie is--
就是雷吉呗 Well, he's Reggie.
雷吉可是练过轻功的 Reggie is trained in zero-gravity martial arts
而且有一哨在手 and has a whistle.
对 Yeah.
但探长不发话 But he never really gets to blow the whistle
他连哨子都没得吹 unless the inspector says it's okay.
说他俩是基友 还不如说是一个自大狂 Less of a friendship, more of a self-centered nerd
带着个白痴又听话的小跟班 and his naive, obedient lapdog.
我还有事 Well, I got a thing.
你多保重 You take care.
根据学校的记录 名字叫金姆 Well, according to the office, this is the locker
且09年跟我一起上过课的就是这位了 of the only Kim I've had any class with since 2009.
真不知道你干了什么把人气成这样 Wonder what you did to make her so mad.
没准你勾搭完人家 转头就把人忘了 Maybe the two of you made out, and then you forgot about her.
安妮 我在你眼里就是这种人吗 Annie, that's what you think of me?
我从来不跟大众脸的女人搞 I don't make out with forgettable women.
你们有事吗 Can I help you?
我找金姆·迈克法登 We're looking for Kim McFadden.
-这是她的柜子吗 -你不是搞笑吧 - This is her locker, right? - Are you serious?
她几年前往我柜子里塞了张条子 She slipped a note into my locker a couple years ago.
看来是我不知怎么地就得罪她了 I guess I pissed her off somehow.
我想来道歉的 I'm hoping to apologize.
这有点难度诶 That might not be easy.
金姆不在了 Kim's no longer with us.
-她两周前过世了 -什么 - She died two weeks ago. - What?
我也不想报完噩耗就拍屁股走人 Sorry to drop that on you and run,
但我得去帮忙抚慰加瑞特了 but there's a rally for Garrett.
可我们已经把他拯救了呀 But we saved him.
有吗 Did we?
有什么推荐吗 What do you recommend?
关你屁事 嚼[绞]肉机 What's it to you, meat pusher?
看来你是个素食主义者 Sounds like you might be a vegetarian.
你应该尝尝赛百味的新鲜蔬菜三明治 You should try Subway's veggie delite.
你应该看看奥威尔的《1984》 You should try reading Orwell's 1984.
我看过 很不错的书 I have. It's a great book.
让当时还上高中的我为之一振 It really awakened me in high school.
我觉得应该强制学生阅读 I think kids should be forced to read it.
我也是 不过你倒挺享受嘛 Me too. Anyway, you're living it.
你不就是任由三明治巨头摆布的傀儡布偶嘛 You're a human puppet with big sandwich's hand up your ass.
难道你希望生活就这样吗 Is this what you dreamt of being?
不好意思 我不能谈以前的生活 Unfortunately I'm not allowed to discuss my former life
不能发展什么柏拉图爱情 or engage in any nonplatonic relations,
不能公开表明宗教信仰 practice religion in public,
也不能吃除赛百味以外其他 or eat any nonfresh, unhealthy food like that
不健康也不新鲜的东西 found anywhere outside Subway.
你说这些干嘛 Why are you getting all that?
我想在你身边多停留几秒 I wanted to stand next to you for a moment.
因为它珍贵 It was worth it.
就像奥威尔的书 还有新鲜蔬菜三明治 Like a good book by Orwell or a veggie delite.
是你吗 赛百味 Is that you, Subway?
我视力大不如前了 My eyesight ain't what it used to be.
这些嫩马铃薯你吃吧 哈里 Eat these tater tots, Harry.
要我说呀 你比谁都明察秋毫 For what it's worth, I think you might see more than all of us.
他冲你笑了诶 Did you see him smiling at you?
有名妓潜质 布雷塔 Top-notch whoresmanship, Britta.
-皮尔斯 -不好意思 名妓"女" - Pierce. - Sorry. Whoreswomanship.
90年代的才玩性别歧视呢 Forgot it was the '90s.
不管怎样 谢谢你 布雷塔 Anyway... Thank you, Britta.
我就知道你能帮我们搞定他 I knew we could count on you to help us take him down!
哦也 姐这就要把电眼三明治男 Yep, that's me, the girl who's going to destroy
收拾得服服帖帖妥妥当当 the big sandwich company with the dreamy eyes.
成功啦 皮尔斯 Ooh! We did it, Pierce.
那段话很有力度吧 Powerful passage, isn't it?
"她已成为他的宿命" "She had become a physical necessity."
你把这一段圈起来了 You circled this paragraph.
我不能承认 I can't say that I did.
我只是觉得这段话有力地表达出了爱的力量 I just think it's a striking expression of love's ability
即便在铁血体制的夹缝中 to persevere within the cracks and
爱也会顽强地生发出枝芽 cogs of inhuman systems.
你在成为赛百味之前到底是谁 Who were you, Subway, before you were Subway?
我不能说 I can't say.
我得遵守规则 I have to live within the rules.
我现在就是赛百味 This identity is my life.
要是我能坚持三年以上 If I do this for three more years,
就可以完成梦想了 I can live a real dream.
至少告诉我你的梦想是什么 Well, at least tell me what that is.
我想办一个非盈利的残疾动物收容所 I want to run a nonprofit shelter for handicapped animals.
收容后腿装轮椅的小狗 Dogs with wheels for hind legs.
-耳聋的仓鼠 -独眼猫咪 - Deaf hamsters. - One-eyed cats?
那种虽然不是首选 不过也行啦 Well, they weren't on the top of my list, but sure.
我得走了 I should go.
说这么多我已经越界了 This is getting out of bounds for me.
新鲜饮食每一天 Eat fresh.
应该把小的放在中间 You should put the small ones in the middle,
不然侧壁就撑不住天花板了 or the wall won't hold the ceiling.
为什么我总像是你的雷吉一样 Why do I always have to be your Reggie?
什么 What?
我想建一个毯子城堡 I wanted to make a blanket fort,
这事你想都没想过 And you never even gave it a second thought.
我连你的副手都算不上 就是个小跟班 I'm not even your sidekick. I'm your underkick.
我没不让你干什么啊 I never said you couldn't do anything.
你要是想搭毯子城堡 那我没意见 If you want to make a blanket fort, that's fine with me.
谢谢 Thank you.
别跟我的枕头城堡掺和在一起就行 Just don't make it part of my pillow fort.
好吧 Fine.
哥另找地方 I'll start it somewhere else.
祝你学婴儿堆枕头玩得开心 Have fun stacking pillows like a baby.
杰夫 你还好吗 Jeff, are you okay?
我都躺沙发上了 怎么可能会好 I'm lying on campus furniture, so no.
还在纠结那个叫金姆的女孩吗 Is it about this Kim girl?
"我是个混蛋"这印象都伴她入土了 She is someone who died thinking I was a dick.
我再没机会说道歉 I can never apologize.
我在她心中的印象就板上钉钉了 I can never change her mind.
"混蛋"这个标签就扯不掉了 That makes me a dick forever.
你认为这是道歉的意义吗 You think that's what an apology is?
念条咒语让别人原谅你 A spell you cast on another person to make them forgive you?
道歉是自我反省的机会 Apologies are opportunities to admit your own mistakes.
去向她的柜子道歉 Apologize to her locker.
不知道错在哪 我怎么道歉啊 But how can I apologize if I don't know what I did wrong?
她不是骂你目中无人吗 Well, didn't she call you inconsiderate?
在我听来 这意思很明显了 Sounds to me like you know exactly what you did wrong.
伦纳德 你干嘛呢 Leonard, what are you doing?
给阿布蒂的城堡搜罗枕头 Abed's fort needs pillows.
可我要躺那里啊 But I was going to lie there.
1952年时 我还要投资IBM呢 I was going to invest in IBM in 1952,
人生就是各种不如意 but life is full of disappointments.
新鲜饮食每一天哟亲 Eating fresh, are we?
找到赛百味的丑闻什么的了吗 Have you found any dirt on Subway yet?
没有 也许我该多跟他混几天 No, nothing. I should probably hang out with him more.
知道我怎么想的吗 You know what I think?
你要投靠他了 I think you're falling for him.
我才没有 你把我当什么人了 I am not. Who do you think I am?
我可是纽约客 I lived in New York.
少跟我打马虎眼 You never lived anywhere.
你就是一架性爱武器 You're a weapon designed for sex.
你以为自己是纽约客 You only think you lived in New York
其实是我给你植入了记忆 'cause I implanted your memories.
皮尔斯 住嘴吧 Oh, Pierce, stop it!
瞧瞧都闹成什么样了 Look what we're becoming.
很抱歉把你卷入了这场肮脏的游戏 I'm sorry we pulled you into this dirty game.
我希望你能退出 I want you to stop.
没错 我们不带你玩了 Yeah, we're pulling you out...
不过你得先完成最终任务 right after your last assignment.
这支笔是个麦克风 This pen is a microphone.
也是个小酒瓶 It's also a miniflask.
你把墨水喝下去了吗 Did you just drink ink?
把这个放到赛百味身上 Just plant this on Subway,
你就再也不必见他了 and you'll never have to see him again.
在那之前 继续挑逗他 Until then, keep him interested.
老天啊 快给你那惨白的嘴唇上点色 And for God's sakes, slap some life on those dead lips.
你好 阿布蒂 枕头城堡进度如何 Hello, Abed. How's the pillow fort going?
追求完美要下苦功夫 但一切都是值的 It's hard making something perfect, but it's worth it.
是啊 当我拿到吉尼斯俱乐部橱柜的钥匙 Yeah, I'll remember that when I'm being given a key
与两位壮汉并驾双飞狂飙摩托车时 to the secret guinness record holders' clubhouse,
还有学养蜂佬浑身引满蜜蜂的时候 where I'll be hanging with those two fat guys on motorcycles
我一定会记住这句话的 and being fitted for a beard of bees.
特洛伊 我刚与吉尼斯组委会通过电话 Well, Troy, I just got off the phone with guinness,
他们将会派一名代表 and they are sending a representative
前来验收你的毯子城堡 to have a look-see at your blanket fort.
-世界纪录准备好了吗 -加瑞特 - Are we world-record ready? - Garrett?
距世界纪录还差185平米 We are still more than 2,000 square feet shy of the record.
阿布蒂的枕头城堡是我们的唯一障碍 Abed's pillow fort is the only thing standing in our way.
那我们该咋办 伙计们 Well, what are we gonna do here, guys?
能把两边连起来吗 Is there a way we can connect them?
你不可以把毯子城堡和枕头城堡连起来 You can't connect the blanket fort to the pillow fort
然后还管它叫枕头城堡 and still call it a pillow fort.
就算可以的话 Even if you could,
我宁愿毁掉它也不肯屈服 I'd rather see my work destroyed than compromise it.
很好 阿布蒂将毁掉他的枕头城堡 Great, Abed will destroy his pillow fort,
特洛伊将以此扩大他的毯子城堡 and Troy will expand his blanket fort into the space.
共赢的抉择 Everyone wins.
阿布蒂除外 要知道 不是谁都能赢 Except Abed, but you know, not everyone can win.
这就是你想要的吗 特洛伊 Is that what you want, Troy?
毁掉我的枕头城堡 就为破纪录 For me to destroy my pillow fort so you could set your record?
没错 It is.
磁太太 Magnitude.
疏散阿布蒂城堡 准备启动自毁 Evacuate fort Abed, and prepare for self-destruct.
先生 Sir?
快做 Do it.
我们了结了 We're done here.
噼里啪啦砰砰 队长 Pop, pop, captain.
赛百味 Oh! Subway.
布雷塔 我生怕你会不来 Britta, I was worried you wouldn't come.
我无法抑制对你的思念 I can't stop thinking about you.
他们要我在你身上装窃听器 They wanted me to plant a bug on you.
我做不到 也不会这么做 I can't, and I won't.
价值观 身份 现在都变得毫无意义 Our values, our identities-- they mean nothing to me now.
只剩最原始的欲望 Only the primal remains.
对我来说 你就是我的宿命 To me, you are simply a physical necessity.
赛百味 Oh, Subway.
赛百味 Subway.
赛百味 Oh, Subway.
不 不行 Oh, no, no.
我们不能这样 皮尔斯 No, this is wrong, Pierce.
我只是想开家三明治店 I just wanted to open a sandwich shop.
可不想掺和这种事 I did not sign up for this.
你不愿意下黑手 那好 You don't want to get your hands dirty, fine.
我来干 I will.
走着瞧吧 赛百味 Nice knowing you, Subway.
你这个名真心奇葩 If that is your real name.
金姆 是我 杰夫 Kim. It's me, Jeff.
那个目中无人的混蛋 The inconsiderate jerk.
听着 我记不得哪里伤害到你了 Look, I don't remember hurting you,
我只能猜是我太过自傲 and I have to assume that's what hurt you.
天知道你犯了什么错 God knows what crime you've committed
遭得我这般无视 to deserve me disregarding you entirely.
但无论你做错了什么 But whatever your crime,
你我都清楚 真正的罪人是我 I think we both know the real crime is mine.
我就是个自大 肤浅的混蛋 I'm a self-centered, shallow jackass.
我只想...谢谢你的纸条 And I just want to... thank you for your note
我要试着改过自新 because I'm going to try and change.
真希望你能在这里 原谅我 I just wish you were here to forgive me.
我在呢 I am.
而且我原谅你了 And I do.
我就是金姆 I'm Kim.
啥玩意 What?
你不是说金姆死了吗 You said Kim was dead.
因为你根本不记得我是谁 Because you never remember who I am.
一年级我们一起出去玩 大概有十次吧 First year, we hung out, like, ten times.
结果每一次 你都要对我做自我介绍 and each time, you introduced yourself to me.
所以我才写了那张纸条 That's why I wrote that note.
结果今天 看来你还是不记得我 And then today, it's like you still don't remember me.
还以名取人 认为我是女的 And--and you still assume from my name that I am a girl.
我实在没辙只能胡扯 I had no choice but to make up that
一个姑娘香消玉殒的故事 awesome story about a dead chick
来伤害你就像你曾伤害我那样 to hurt you like you hurt me.
我太对不起你了 I am so sorry...
金姆 没错吧 Kim. Right?
你知道我等你说这句话等了多久吗 Do you know how long I've waited to hear you say that?
你俩这是演的哪儿一出啊 What the hell is this crap?
安妮 这就是金姆 Annie, this is Kim.
我之前只记得他有一个女孩儿名 I think because he had a girl's name,
我从没把他当回事过 I never took him seriously.
这事儿经常发生啊 It happens literally all the time,
匪夷所思的是这里16%的金姆都是纯爷们 Which is insane because 16% of all people named Kim are men.
我错了 哥们儿 I'm sorry, buddy.
你跟他道什么歉啊 Don't apologize to this guy.
你告诉我要道歉的啊 You told me to apologize.
是向一个死去的妹子的储物柜 To a dead girl's locker.
我还以为我是代表闺蜜团 I thought I was representing the sisterhood.
来好好给你上一课呢 thought I was teaching you a lesson
为那些被你玩弄又忽视的女孩儿们出口气 about all the girls you dominate and then ignore.
而不是让你把精力都放在这个奇怪又倒胃口 Not to waste your energy on some weird, cloying,
有着女孩名字的敏感跟踪狂身上 hypersensitive stalker with a girl's name.
你也太刻薄了吧 Hey! You are really mean.
简·奥斯汀 写封信慢慢骂吧 Put it in a letter, Jane Austen.
准备履行最后的协议吧 Prepare to initiate protocol omega.
再见 枕头城堡 你就是黄粱一梦啊 Good-bye, pillow fort. You were a beautiful dream.
不仅仅是个梦 它真实存在啊 More than a dream. It's here.
你是谁 Who are you?
一个理解你将自己的一切奉献给了 Someone who understands dedication
这件艺术品又不被世人所认同的感觉的人 to craftsmanship in the face of mediocrity.
这个世界就是被与众不同的人主宰着 This world is run by the unremarkables.
阿布蒂 不要惯性思维 Don't do what you always do, Abed.
别为了安抚寄生虫而摧毁了寄主 Don't corrupt the host to pacify the parasites.
问问自己 Ask yourself,
如果再也不在乎他们对我的认可度又会如何 "What if I stopped worrying about their acceptance of me?"
如果你抛弃世上所有的雷吉警官 What if it fell to the Reggies of the world
而只是保留时空探长 你会毁灭吗 to keep up with the inspectors or perish?
在我爬走的时候请你转过头去 Now please turn your head while I crawl away.
我得去方便一下啦 I'm going through some stuff right now.
我好怕怕啊 I'm very insecure.
出什么事了 What's going on?
这话应该是我来问你吧 I'll ask the questions here.
你和赛百味滚床单了 我都录下来了 You had sex with Subway, and I recorded it.
我还是打算放过他们 You know what, I'm going to let this one slide.
-什么 -你说什么 - What? - What?
我知道我们有很严格的规定 I know we have very strict rules
反对与我们的虚拟人与真人发生关系 against romantic entanglements with our corpohumanoids,
但是现在看来 but at this point in time,
我们不能阻止他们也有自己的情感 We can't stop them from having hearts.
他俩很明显已经坠入爱河了 These two are clearly in love.
如果他们想表达这种爱 If they want to express that love
还是这样一种健康的方式 那么 等等 in a perfectly healthy way, then--okay, hold on.
这 这不是我想的那种吧 Th--is this what I think it is?
这进入不健康环节也太快了点儿吧 That got unhealthy real quick.
好吧 这 还成 太奇怪了吧 That--okay, that's-- yeah, that's weird.
这也太离谱了吧 That is well out of the mainstream.
我虽然生长在 You know, I was raised in the--
沿海地区 可这也 我都已为人父了啊 the bay area, but I-- I'm a father now.
赛百味不能承受那些 说实话 瑞奇 Subway cannot stand for that, and frankly, Rick,
我 我很惊讶你竟然那么做了 I-I'm surprised you did.
我叫赛百味啊 My name is Subway.
再也不是了 Not anymore.
-就到这儿吧 -不 不要啊 - The bread is stale. - No! No!
-天啊 -你过来 - Oh, my god. - You!
赛百味 我爱你 Subway, I love you!
-布雷塔 -闭嘴 - Britta! - Shut up.
你怎么能这么做 How could you?
如果没什么别的事儿的话 Well, if that'll be all,
我也该走了 I'll be on my way.
能不能把我的外套递过来 If someone could hand me my jacket.
那不就在门边的衣架上嘛 It's right over there on the coatrack next to the door.
如果有人能帮忙递过来 就再好不过了 If somebody could just hand it to me, that would be great.
我很困惑啊 I guess I'm confused.
你为什么不在出门的时候顺手拿衣服呢 Why don't you just grab it on your way out the door--
你猜怎么着 我还就不走了 You know what? Now I'm not leaving.
现在我打算就这么坐一会 Now I'm just going to sit for a while
好好反思今天是多么的人神共愤 and focus on how unacceptable today was.
杰夫 Jeff.
我想向你道歉 I wanted to apologize.
我从未意识到自己在性别角色上也有问题 I never realized I had my own issues regarding gender roles,
所以我那样对待金姆是极其不公平的 and it was certainly unfair of me to take them out on Kim.
金姆是谁 Who's kim?
美国企业在扼杀爱情 Corporate America has destroyed love.
-又开始了吗 -赛百味 - Again? - Subway!
对不起 我认错人了 Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were someone else.
布雷塔 小傻瓜 我是赛百味啊 Britta, you silly. It is me, subway.
什么 What?
昨晚在枕头城堡你真是太销魂了 I had a great time with you last night in the pillow fort,
在那场离经叛道的性爱中不寻常的体位 The one exception being the deviant sex act
你可完全没经过我的允许哦 you initiated without my consent.
新鲜饮食每一天哦 Eat fresh.
自习室现在出大事儿了 There is a situation developing in the study room.
我很想详述 但是我都喘不上气了 I would elaborate, but I am out of breath
因为刚才走得太急了 Because I walked here very briskly.
冷静一下 Calm down!
淡定 Calm!
淡定 Down!
-怎么了 -阿布蒂拒绝拆除他的城堡 - What's going on here? - Abed won't tear down his fort.
我不想牺牲我的心血来换取 I shouldn't have to compromise my craftsmanship
-小人的安宁 -小人 - to placate mediocrity. - Mediocrity?
伙 伙计们 Okay, b-- boys, boys.
两天之后吉尼斯纪录的代表就到了 The guinness rep will be here in two days.
我们能不能抛硬币决定谁应该让步呢 Can we just flip a coin to decide who has to back down?
-不要 -不行 - No. - No.
我是院长 我做主 Well, I'm dean, so I'm making the call.
枕头城堡拆了吧 The pillow fort comes down.
-你给我站住 -看好了 星霸 - All right, you stay back. - Watch it, Star-burns.
人家叫亚历克斯 My name is Alex!
开战了 This is war!
-退回去 -快退回去 - Back, back. - Back.
-快跑 -撤退 撤回堡里 - Go. - Back, back, back in the fort.
这事绝对没完 To be continued.
先生 看来特洛伊·巴恩斯的毯子城堡 Sir, it appears that Troy Barnes' blanket fort
将和阿布蒂·纳迪亚的枕头城堡展开大战了 May go to war with Abed Nadir's pillow fort.
不出所料 Of course.
不久阿布蒂和特洛伊就会心生芥蒂 Soon Troy and Abed will be torn asunder,
接着特洛伊将毫无阻碍重回命运轨道 and an unencumbered Troy will turn to his destiny...
那就是加入我们空调修理工学院 The Air Conditioning Repair School.
-亲 你好冷血啊 -那必须的 - You are a cold-blooded man, sir. - Yes.
特洛伊和阿布蒂可真够不走运的 How unfortunate for Troy and Abed...
乐队排练见 See you at band practise.