说说 有丝分裂的定义 So... cellular mitosis is what?
我想特洛伊了 I miss Troy.
错误答案 你也别猜那个了 Wrong, and stop guessing that.
-安妮 -我担心阿布蒂 - Annie. - I'm worried about Abed.
自从特洛伊搬走后他就没出过公寓大门 He hasn't left the apartment since Troy moved out.
他甚至都不玩幻梦空间了 He won't even play in the Dreamatorium.
抱歉 不是"玩" Sorry, not "Play."
"表演想象中幻梦场景" "Render imaginated dreamscapes."
大伙 我们整个暑假都在重修生物 Guys, we just finished retaking biology all summer,
如果我通不过期末考试 那就白费功夫了 and if I don't pass this final, it was for nothing.
我们能不跑题吗 Can we stay on target?
是不是有人提到"性感建筑工人"啊 Did someone say "Sexy construction worker"?
坚持住 别跑题 Stay--stay on target.
我打扮成这样 I'm dressed like this
是因为我要创造重大新闻 because I'm building to big news.
赛百味跟格林德尔的合约已经正式终止 Subway has officially ended its agreement with Greendale,
而我选来填补自助餐厅空缺的店铺就是 and the restaurant I've chosen to occupy the cafeteria kiosk is...
雪瑞三明治 Shirley's Sandwiches!
我只需要你俩中的一个 I just need one of you to sign this
作为官方代表签署这份合约 as the official owner of the business.
我们俩都该签字 股份对半开的 Ooh, we should both sign it, we're 50-50 partners.
但是表格上只有一条虚线 所以... But there's only one dotted line on the form, so...
-这样的话 皮尔斯可以 -我来 - Oh, well, Pierce can-- - Me.
-凭什么 -我出的钱 - Hey! - I paid for it.
要是没有我艰苦卓绝的努力 Well, there'd be no "it" to pay for
你有钱也没处使 if I hadn't done all the work.
哎呦 小小罅隙积怨逐重高若大山了呢 My goodness, this molehill is becoming a mountain.
你们努力解决 You guys work it out,
我去捯饬一套登山装 while I put together an alpine costume.
我就知道你早晚要鸠占鹊巢 I knew eventually you'd try to box me out of my own business,
就跟霍桑纸业一个德行 just like Hawthorne Wipes did.
我可不会容忍你 I'm not letting you guilt me
利用我的同情心霸占我的生意 into letting you call yourself the owner of my company.
杰夫 发什么呆 Jeff! Hello?
-帮帮他俩 -不 - Get involved. - No.
我来这里是为了拿到真正的文凭 I am here to replace my fake bachelor's
好重回律师生涯 so I can get back to my life as a lawyer.
人不为己天诛地灭 Nobody else is sacrificing their interests.
别强求我做牺牲 Don't ask me to sacrifice mine.
你刚才就这语气 That's you just now.
好了 说出有丝分裂的四个阶段 Okay, so name the stages of mitosis.
-我得走了 -难以置信 - Ooh, I gotta go. - Unbelievable.
今天是阿布蒂心理治疗第一疗程 Today is Abed's first therapy session.
什么治疗 His what?
他最近感到极度的脆弱 He's been feeling extra vulnerable lately
因为特洛伊被空调维修学院抢走了 having lost Troy to the air conditioning repair school,
所以他终于同意让我 so he's finally gonna let me
在他身上演练心理治疗技巧 practice my psych skills on him.
对我有点信心 翁格 Give me some credit, Winger.
再坏能坏到哪儿去 What's the worst that could happen?
典型的"垫高球托"法则 Classic tee-up.
高尔夫术语 比喻降低自己 垫高别人 使其颇为自信却也无法离开自己
闭嘴 伦纳德 我知道你小弟弟折弯了 Shut up, leonard, I know about your crooked wang.
这种事没什么见不得人的 No such thing as bad press.
嗨 阿布蒂 Hey, Abed.
大事不妙 This can't be good.
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翻译 两肋插刀大侠安小然
翻译 爱米粒
翻译 独醉
校对 三集连撸眼瘸夕橙橙
时间轴 贝贝呢
后期 鱼骨头
总监 夕橙
废柴联萌[不是错字... 季终三集联播成功逆袭!!
《废柴联盟》 第三季第二十二集[本季终·谢谢支持] iTunes：Tears
有些人问 为什么要把毛细管 There are those who ask, why connect the capillary tube
与压缩机阀直接连通呢 directly to the compressor valve?
可不是么 干嘛不直接把它 Oh, sure, why not just attach it
接到吸湿器上算了 to the moisture accumulator?
我说 特洛伊 你觉得无聊吗 Hey, Troy. We boring you?
我怀念我的朋友们 I miss my friends.
他想他的小伙伴们了 He misses his friends.
巴恩斯先生... Mr. Barnes...
收好你的东西跟我来 Gather your things and come with me.
马上 Now!
烈阳室 The sun chamber.
这是我们学院杀伐历史中留下的可耻遗迹 A shameful relic from a savage chapter of our history.
修理工们明争暗斗自相残杀 Repairmen would duel each other inside,
失败者们中暑而死 或者下场更惨 losers succumbing to heat exhaustion, or worse.
特洛伊 有一个神谕 Troy, there is a prophesy.
我想死阿布蒂了 I miss Abed so much.
我羞于承认 曾几何时 I'm ashamed to confess that I once thought
我以为自己是背负神谕的人 that this might be me.
现在我意识到那是你 Now I realize that it's you.
你是真正的修理工 特洛伊 You are the true repairman, Troy.
你不仅能修复空调... You fix not only air conditioners...
还能平息修理工之间的争端 But the men who fix them.
这就是所专科学校 两年的学制 It's a trade school. It's a two-year degree
研究的是给房间制冷的小盒子 in boxes that make rooms cold.
头儿 第四象限的流管道破裂 Sir, there's been a flow duct rupture in quadrant four.
我来处理 I'll handle it.
这是你的使命 巴恩斯先生 This is your destiny, Mr. Barnes.
真正的修理工能修复人心 The true repairman will repair man.
阿布蒂 Abed.
我不会跟你说话的 因为我没疯 I'm not talking to you because I'm not crazy.
就当这是内心独白吧 Think of it as inner dialogue.
我在阅读《星际传奇》小说 I'm reading the novelization of Chronicles of Riddick.
你敢告诉我这是个正确的决定吗 Can you honestly tell me that's a saner decision?
你担心自己离了特洛伊会发疯 You're worried you'll go crazy without Troy.
所以你才让布雷塔来治疗你 对吗 That's why you're gonna let Britta fix you, right?
因为你认为自己有缺陷 Because you think you're broken,
你真的要让一个将"X战警"视为 you're gonna get diagnosed by someone
最爱的超级英雄的人给你下诊断吗 who said her favorite superhero was "X man"?
我有点害怕 事态很糟 I'm a little scared. Things are bad.
阿布蒂 当整个世界堕落的时候 When the world gets bad enough, Abed,
好人会发疯 但聪明人 the good go crazy. But the smart...
则会黑化 they go bad.
进来吧 我们谈谈 Come on in here, let's talk about it.
我认为还是跟布雷塔谈比较好 I think it's safer if I talk to Britta.
我认为还是我先跟她谈谈更好 I think it's even safer if I talk to her first.
你好啊 Hello.
你是来帮我复习生物的吗 Are you here to help me with biology,
还是有求于我 or get me to help you?
-生...物...啊 -你在撒谎吗 - Bi-ol-o-gy. - Are you lying?
很难抑扬顿挫地说出"是" 对不对 Hard to break the word "yes" into lilting syllables, huh?
是...啊 Ye-es?
听着 皮尔斯和我马上就能 Look, Pierce and I are so close
让三明治小店开张了 to getting the sandwich shop going.
-我只是需要你帮忙 -听着 - I just need you to help-- - Look.
你想要一句免费的忠告吗 You want one piece of free advice?
稳住皮尔斯 Let Pierce cool down.
你知道他发起疯来能偏执到什么地步 You know how crazy and paranoid he can get.
逮到你了 发疯 偏执 有心无力吗 A-ha! Crazy? Paranoid? Impotent?
-细胞... -我就知道你会来找杰夫 - Cellular... - I knew you'd run to Jeff,
-并策反他跟我对着干 -有丝分裂 - and turn him against me. - Mitosis.
大伙 这是嚷什么呢 Guys, why are we yelling?
你敢签合同 我就告你 You sign that paper, I'll sue.
等等 Well, hold on.
本案将于下午三点由格林德尔法庭审理 This will be settled in Greendale court, 3:00 P.M.
显然雪瑞已经找好律师了 Obviously, Shirley has her counsel,
而我又能cos法官咯 and I get to dress like a judge.
我就是在法庭出生的 I was born in a courtroom,
跟我的胎盘来了番殊死搏斗并得以胜出 sued it for my own placenta, and won.
现在我要给我律师打电话了 Now I'm calling my lawyer.
我的生物期末考试五点开始 My biology final is at 5:00.
三点到四点间我有空 I'm available from 3:00 to 4:00.
法庭上见 I'll see you in court.
阿布蒂 在吗 准备好接受心理治疗没 Hello, Abed? Ready to get therapized?
阿布蒂 Abed?
你好 布雷塔 Hello, Britta.
邪恶阿布蒂视角 黑化指数2%
请进 Come in.
这是怎么回事 What's going on?
副院长莱伯恩在修理破裂的流管道时 Vice Dean Laybourne was repairing a flow duct rupture,
吸入了致命剂量的氟利昂 and he inhaled a lethal dose of freon.
愿他的灵魂轻舞飞扬 May his breeze join the wind.
有丝分裂即细胞分裂为... Okay, so mitosis is when cells divide...
我很好奇皮尔斯会请谁作为他的代理律师 I wonder who Pierce is gonna get to represent him.
我保证 无论皮尔斯请到谁 I promise, whoever Pierce brings
都无法与我相匹敌 这是翁格的保证 won't be prepared for me. That's the Winger guaran--
那是你的冷血前同事吗 Is that the cold-blooded former colleague
就是他向州律师公会告发你 that got you fired from your old law firm
害你被前律所解雇的吗 by ratting on you to the state bar?
球托 Tee.
所以这算是利益冲突吗 So is this a conflict of interest?
你懂的 艾伦在你的前律所工作啥的 You know, Alan working at your former firm and all?
皮尔斯可帮了你大忙了 Hey, Pierce just did you the biggest favor of your life.
他请来的这个小子 就是两年来 He hired a guy I've spent the last two years
让我恨不得一刀捅...霸王弟 fantasizing about stabbing in the--Sundance!
探戈兄 Tango!
哎哟 接下三明治店归属案啦 So...the case of the Sandwich signature.
你怎么来了 What are you doing here?
我嘛 是生活所迫 你来搅和啥啊 I mean, me, I have to, but you?
霍桑可是款爷 Hawthorne's a cash cow,
咱老江湖 有油水就要挤 And old a-con here is tugging at that teat.
钱来了 That's money.
钱来了 Money.
别挤了 Please stop that.
跟你说白了吧 事务所发话了 So full disclosure. The firm would really like
要抓牢皮爷不撒手 to keep vitamin "P" in its medicine chest.
我也跟你说白了 Full disclosure.
咱最好四点前完事 I really want to be done by 4:00.
哎哟 你风采不减当年啊 Oh, that's the Jeff Wing basket I remember loving.
你对雪瑞客气点 Hey, just go easy on Shirley.
以童子军名誉发誓 西尼德·奥康娜 Scout's honor, Sinead O'connor.
爱尔兰流行女歌手和歌曲作者 以光头著称
辣妹子辣 辣妹子辣 院长法官驾到啦 Oy-yay, oy-yay, the honorable Craig Pelton presiding.
首先 请各位帮个忙 First off, there's one decision
帮我参考一下 I'll need your help making.
是扮艾米法官还是朱迪 judging Amy judge Judy?
你说你是邪恶阿布蒂 You say your name is evil Abed,
我呢也觉得不奇怪 谁叫咱是心理医生呢 which does not throw me, because I'm a therapist.
就聊聊邪恶吧 So let's talk about evil.
算了 我还是先跟良民阿布蒂聊一聊吧 You know what? Maybe I should talk to good Abed instead.
在我的国度里 他那种称为矬人 Where I come from, his name is lame Abed.
-你哪国的 -平行时空里最黑暗的深渊 - And you come from... - The darkest timeline.
也可以叫布雷塔时空 You might call it the britta of timelines,
因为在那个时空 一切都混乱不堪 where everything is the worst.
杰夫是独臂 安妮朝皮尔斯开枪 Jeff has one arm there. Annie shot Pierce.
特洛伊是哑巴 Troy can't speak--
我听出眉目了 矬人阿布蒂让你代言 Now we're getting somewhere. I think lame Abed sent you
是因为你比较擅长于处理恐慌情绪 to talk because you're more equipped to deal with fear.
以矬人之心度神人之腹 意思倒也差不多 That's the lame way of seeing it, yes.
这么跟你说吧 Here's the truth.
我已经进入了你的黑暗时空 I've crossed into your dark timeline,
而且要让它愈加黯淡 And now I'm going to darken it.
你要干什么 How?
你父母什么情况 布雷塔 Tell me about your parents, Britta.
不告诉你 Um...no?
巴恩斯 你应该待在殡仪馆的 Barnes, you should be in the chapel.
英才辞世 该好生缅怀 We lost a great man today.
是啊 他的确是一代英才 Yeah, he was the best, wasn't he?
正因为如此 我更不明白了 That's why I don't understand
他怎么会把氟利昂管搞爆了 how he could rupture a freon line.
这可是低级错误 that's kind of a rookie mistake.
应该是阀门有问题吧 I'm sure it was just a faulty valve.
我上任副院长的第一个指示 My first order as vice dean,
就是要把阀门都换了 I'm gonna have them all replaced.
你是副院长了吗 So you're vice dean now?
你怎么突然关心起空调维修的事儿了 Why the sudden interest in air conditioning repair?
你不是念念不忘老同学吗 I thought you missed your friends.
-是啊 -那就去找他们 - I do. - Then go be with them.
我放你走 I'm releasing you.
-可是 -再见 特洛伊 - But you-- - Good-bye, Troy.
埃迪生小姐 你认得照片里这个孩子吗 Miss Edison, do you recognize the baby in that picture?
是雪瑞的孩子 本 That's Shirley's baby ben.
要是你知道雪瑞·伯纳德 Would you think less of Shirley Bennett
为了跟丹泽尔打一炮愿意上网卖儿子 if she offered to sell Ben on craigslist
你会因此看扁她吗 for a chance to bump it with Denzel?
那是跟我家人说笑的 That was a joke for my cousin.
都怪脸谱网那不靠谱的隐私设置 Damn those facebook privacy settings.
-杰夫 想想办法 -他什么料也没有 - Jeff, do something. - He's got nothing.
她肯定不是说真的 I'm sure she didn't mean that.
说不定她根本不爱自己的儿子 Or perhaps she doesn't even love that baby,
因为她去年一整年都在纠结 because she spent most of last year not even knowing
-孩子他爹到底是谁 -反对 - who the father is. - objection.
臆断原告人品 法官大人 Establishing character, your honor.
这个女人明显不适合当店铺主人 This woman is clearly unfit to own a sandwich shop.
艾伦 省省吧 Alan, come on.
没有问题了 No furths.
你不是答应对她客气点吗 I thought you said you were gonna go easy.
我觉得挺客气了 Felt easy to me.
他当时穿的什么 What was he wearing?
扮成恐龙的样子 He was dressed as a dinosaur.
你是因为这个才高中退学的吗 Is that why you dropped out of high school?
我不知道 I don't know.
你戴的是真眼镜吗 Are those even real glasses?
不是 No.
你感觉到了没 布雷塔 Ah, do you feel that, Britta?
时空黑化指数 10%
你的时空比原来黯淡了百分之十 Your timeline's 10% darker now.
这才百分之十 This was 10%?
知道什么人才会当心理医生吗 布雷塔 Do you know what kind of person becomes a psychologist, Britta?
就是那种内心深处非常渴望 A person that wishes, deep down,
那些比他们有意思的人都有病 that everyone more special than them was sick,
这样"无趣"的他们 because "Healthy"
就可以自我安慰为"心理健康"了 Sounds so much more exciting than "Boring."
你就是庸人一个 布雷塔·派利 You're average, Britta Perry.
你就是那种没人看得上的小孩 You're every kid on the playground that didn't get picked on.
毫无特色的打工妹 You're a business casual potted plant,
没人要的可怜虫 A human white sale.
你就是《VH1》《机械战警2》 You're VH1, Robocop2,
《回到未来3》 Aback to The Future 3.
你就是方形芝士披萨最中间那一片 You're the center slice of a square cheese pizza.
感觉还挺好吃的 Actually, that sounds delicious.
我才是方形芝士披萨最中间那一片 I'm the center slice of a square cheese pizza.
你是吉姆·贝鲁什 You're Jim Belushi.
美剧演员 曾出演《辩护律师》[躺着也中枪啊]
时空黑化指数 12%
12% 12%
你去哪里 Where are you going?
把黑暗带给每个人 To make this timeline the darkest of all.
就从你们的矬人英雄 杰夫·翁格开始 Starting with your lame hero, Jeff Winger.
矬人阿布蒂应该没有骨锯吧 I don't suppose lame Abed owns a bone saw.
皮尔斯 你来争取雪瑞三明治店的完全所有权 So, Pierce, you're seeking full ownership of Shirley's sandwiches.
因为资金完全出自你 After all, you did provide 100% of the financing.
对 Correct.
真的吗 该死 You really did? Oh, damn it.
老天 我果然没准备好 Jeez, I came to this thing unprepared.
我本来 应该在法庭之上 I mean, I-I guess it's my job to somehow tarnish you
挑出你的毛病 可是 in the eyes of the court, but, uh...
-我查一下笔记 -慢慢查 - Let me check my notes. - Take your time.
谢谢 Thanks.
我在这边查着 Hey, uh, while I'm doing this...
谁能在一边说个笑话什么的 Does anybody know any funny jokes?
我来 I do.
一个爱尔兰人和一个犹太人 An Irish and a Jew walk
走进一家中国洗衣店 into a Chinese laundry...
还带着一只基佬鸭子 with a gay duck.
三个笑话之后
-行了 -行了 - All right, okay! - Oh, right!
你们是想说他们不会打篮球咯 So you're telling me they're not good at basketball?
我没有问题了 法官大人 I have no questions, your honor.
时空黑化指数 12%
时空黑化指数 13%
残酷 残酷 残酷 残酷 Cruel. Cruel, cruel, cruel.
以五风之名 In the name of the five winds...
东风 西风 北风 East, west, north,
秘风和南风 the one we keep secret, and south,
在此 我授你为 I hereby proclaim you--
这仪式就是扯淡 This ceremony is a lie.
为了这种屁事还腾出一间房 And having a special room for it
简直就是浪费空间 is a waste of valuable floor space.
你已经不是这里的学生了 You are no longer a student here.
而且这间房周末还用作瑜伽房呢 And we use this room for yoga on weekends.
-让他走 -我是最真实的修理工 - Remove him. - I am the truest repairman.
而这个人 And this man is a dishonor
不配修空调 to making air conditioners work good.
我有权对他提出挑战 And I have the right to challenge him...
我们去烈阳室对决 In the sun chamber.
我勒个去 Holy crap.
法官小哥 我请求休庭 Your less than honor, can I call a recess?
好耶 可以换装咯 Ooh, yay, costume change.
短暂休庭 Court briefly adjourned.
你想怎么样 翁格 What are you trying to do, Winger?
别跟我说什么认真打官司 Zealously represent your client?
我跟你打开天窗说亮话吧 Let me make things a little easier for you.
想办法撇掉这案子 Figure out a way to throw this case,
不然就得想清楚你在毕业后 or figure out where you're gonna work
去哪里工作 怎么说呢 when you get out of here, because I don't know
如果我们公司不要你的话 where it's gonna be if it's not for us.
没错 杰夫 我就要玩得这么大 That's right, Jeff. I went there.
你开车送我的 戴茜小姐在家 You drove me there. Miss Daisy's in the house,
多谢你开车载我 对于奴隶制我很抱歉 thanks for the ride, sorry about slavery.
电影《为戴茜小姐开车》
别把自己吹得跟一把手似的 艾伦 Don't oversell your clout, Alan.
你能做合伙人 是因为我向泰德推荐你 You're partner because I sold you to Ted.
-泰德很尊重我的意见 -泰德走了 - Ted respects me-- - Ted's gone.
他太老了 游不过鲨鱼 被吃了 He got too old, couldn't swim with the sharks, and got eaten.
也可比喻在律师界混不开了
胡说八道 公司是他创立的 That makes no sense. He started the firm.
自己公司怎么会混不下去 You can't lose your own firm.
死了就会呀 You can if you're dead.
鲨鱼那事不是比喻 That shark thing was not a metaphor.
现在我是当家老大了 I'm the big dog now.
如果你希望在这所不入流学校 So you want the last three years
熬的三年 有点意义的话 in this toilet to have a point?
那你就得哄我开心 Then I'm the guy you got to make happy.
或者 享受你最后的一次胜利吧 Or, you know, you could finish up your big win here.
开庭 Court is in session.
蒙眼的正义女神将主持 我的妈呀 Blind justice presiding-- aah! Oh, my god!
再次休庭 Ahh! Oh, one more recess.
桌角正好撞到新纹的纹身上 I hit the corner right on a fresh tattoo.
先生们女士们 Well boys and girls,
希望各位带了冰棍 I hope you brought your popsicles,
因为在烈阳室里 Because it's about to get scalding hot
将会炙热似火 in the sun chamber.
大家都知道规则 You already know the rules...
那就是没有规则 Because there aren't any!
老天 丹尼斯 磕药磕傻了吧 Jeez, Dennis, are you on coke?
脱掉这些鬼东西 坐下吧 Take that crap off and sit down.
不好意思 当然是有规则的 Sorry about that. Of course there are rules.
两人进入密封的小房间里 Two men are sealed in the chamber,
房间里各有一台坏掉的空调 each with a broken unit.
房间温度会不断上升 直到有人认输 The heat will increase until one man yields...
或是死亡 Or dies.
开始 Begin!
你刚好赶上杰夫的结案陈词 You're just in time for Jeff's closing statements.
谁在乎啊 世界是黑暗的 Who cares? Everything is terrible.
不是吧 你又看《妈妈舞者》了[真人秀] Oh, no. Have you been watching Dance Moms again?
我想染头发 I'm thinking of dyeing my hair.
黑化阿布蒂 你干什么 Evil Abed, what are you doing?
我去切掉杰夫·翁格的胳膊 I'm going to cut off Jeff Winger's arm.
我不允许 太恐怖了 I won't let you. That's horrible.
你是说恶毒吧 欢迎来到我的世界 Don't you mean dark? Welcome to my world.
杰夫 翁格 Jeff! Winger!
杰夫瑞 我让你陷入了这样 Jeffrey, this is a-- a terrible situation
进退两难的境地 for me to have put you in.
艾伦这家伙原来在公司 A guy like Alan isn't above making trouble for you
-就给你小鞋穿 -雪瑞 我... - at your old firm. - Shirley, I--
这事不值得你搭上前程 It's not worth your career.
我希望你能够心想事成 I want you to have what you want.
-谢谢 雪瑞 -安静 - Thank you, Shirley. - Settle down.
好了 杰夫瑞 请做结案陈词 Okay, Jeffrey, let's have your closing statement.
法官大人 Your honor...
我不会做结案陈词 I have no closing statement,
因为我拒绝受理此案 because I'm throwing the case.
不 没事的 No, no, it's okay.
没事 别担心 It's fine, don't worry.
我的当事人 雪瑞·伯纳德 My client, Shirley Bennett,
我三年来的好朋友 my friend of three years,
她说不受理没关系 she told me that it was okay.
她说我的需求更重要 She said what I want was more important.
她说的对 对吗 She's right, right?
像我这样的人 I mean, guys like me,
会告诉你世上没有对错可言 we'll tell you there's no right or wrong.
没有绝对的真相 There's no real truth.
我会杀了你 I'll kill you.
我杀了他 我也会杀了你 I'll kill you just like I killed him.
只要哄得大家都信了 And as long as we all believe that,
像我这样的人就永远也不会输了 guys like me can never lose.
我大声说出来了吗 Was that out loud?
因为真相是 Because the truth is...
我说没有真相是句谎话 I'm lying when I say there is no truth.
真相是 可悲的 愚蠢的 The truth is-- the pathetically, stupidly,
尴尬的明显真相是 inconveniently obvious truth is...
只为自己着想是自私的 Helping only ourselves is bad,
为他人考虑才是伟大的 and helping each other is good.
现在我只想离开这里 Now I just wanted to get out of here,
通过生物课考试 再次成为律师 pass biology, and be a lawyer again
而不是在这里帮助雪瑞 instead of helping Shirley.
这样不对 That was bad.
而我的前同事 And my former colleague
非常可怜地想留住阔佬客户 wanted so badly to keep his rich client
不惜以提供我工作为诱 that he just asked me to roll over
让我放弃官司 in exchange for my old job.
所以我想 我们都是以自私的心态来到这 So I guess we all walked in here pretty bad.
但现在 But now...
雪瑞做出了无私的举动 Shirley's gone good.
雪瑞在帮助我 Shirley's helping me.
其实很简单 It's that easy.
只要不再为自己的私利打算 You just stop thinking about what's good for you,
而是设身处地地为他人着想 and start thinking about what's good for someone else.
你可以改变整个游戏 And you can change the whole game
只要一个善举就行 with one move.
如果你认同这个观点 你可以通过 Now if you like this idea, you can make it true
帮助身边人使之成为真相 by doing something good for everyone here.
别再审了 这官司完全没意义 Throw this case out of court. It's dumb.
陈词完毕 That is all.
我撤回起诉 I withdraw my case.
你怎么不来段关于友谊的 Why didn't you just do some
激情澎湃的演讲 inspirational speech about friendship?
你被炒了 You're fired.
好样的 煽情专业户 你的事业结束了 Way to go, soft serve. You're finished.
对了 从来没机会告诉你 By the way, never got a chance to tell you this,
是我向律师协会告发你的 but it was me who turned you in to the state bar.
我知道 I know.
我从来没机会谢谢你 And I never got a chance to thank you.
这破地方让你变得太基情了 This place has made you so gay.
注意点儿 别把基情当贬义词来用 Hey! Don't use "Gay" as a derogatory term.
哎呀 做个好人 Booyah, good person.
先生们 将这个人 Gentlemen, take this man
带到永恒坚冰迷宫 to the infinite labyrinth of eternal ice.
-好 -不 - Yes! - No!
不 带他去警局 No, take him to the police.
他杀人了 送他去坐牢 He murdered someone. Take him to jail.
你们真够诡异的 You guys are weird.
杰夫 说的太好了 Jeff, that was great.
你就像白人版的布莱尔·安德伍德 You were like a white Blair Underwood.
《洛城法网》中演律师
雪瑞 如果你也愿意 我觉得 Shirley, if you're willing, I think
该让杰夫签署三明治小店的文件 we should let Jeff sign the sandwich shop form.
你可以代表我们两个 Yeah, you could represent both of us.
做我们的律师 You know, like our attorney.
天哪 皮尔斯 你头一次想出好点子啊 My god, Pierce! You had your first good idea.
-多谢 -布雷塔 对不起 - Thank you. - Britta, I'm so sorry.
没关系 阿布蒂 It doesn't matter, Abed.
我不该在你面前扮心理医生 I should've never played therapist with you.
我再换次专业好了 I'll change my major just one more time.
不行 你治好我了 But you can't. You cured me.
我没好 但我愿意承认 I mean, I'm not cured. I'm willing to admit
我绝对需要心理医生 I definitely need therapy.
我只相信你这个心理医生 You're the only kind of shrink I could ever trust.
你能够像我一样 稍稍掌控我的思想 The kind with as little control over my mind as me.
介意我也抱一下吗 Mind if I cut in?
特洛伊 Troy!
你回来了 You're back.
我定了条规矩 Yeah, I made a new rule
空调维修学院 that the air conditioning repair school
必须得跟正常学院一样 has to act like a regular school.
我有这权利 因为我是他们的救世主 I can do that because I'm their messiah.
酷 我发疯了 我想切掉杰夫的胳膊 Cool. I went crazy and I wanted to cut off Jeff's arm.
我好想你 兄弟 I missed you so much, buddy.
杰夫 我们还是好朋友吗 So, Jeff, we still best friends?
好了 All right.
细胞有丝分裂 是什么 Cellular mitosis. What is it?
❤ Give me some rope ? ❤
❤ tie me to dream ❤
❤ give me the hope ❤
❤ to run out of steam ❤
❤ somebody said ❤
❤ it could be here ❤
❤ we could be roped up, tied up, dead in a year ❤
城市学院
格林德尔社区大学
❤ but I love you more than words can say ❤
封面名: 《假死的科学》
❤ I can't count the reasons I should stay ❤
❤ one by one they all just fade away ❤
❤ I'm tired of the wait and sees ❤
❤ I'm tired of that part of me ❤
❤ that makes up a perfect lie ❤
❤ to keep us between ❤
❤ but hours turn into days ❤
❤ so watch what you throw away ❤
❤ and be here to recognize ❤
❤ there's another way ❤
上Twitter发祝福：期望6+1
大家好，我是伦纳德 Hello, everybody. I'm Leonard.
今天我个大家评测一下“耐吃薯片” And I'm here today to review Let's Potato Chips.
花了1块7毛9在克罗格买的 $1.79 at Kroger's.
把这破玩意打开 Get this sucker open...
哈 搞定 Ah, there we are.
其实我已经尝过了 Now, I've already had some of these,
我再尝尝 but let's see.
嗯 嘎嘣脆 Mmm! Crispy. Mm-hmm.
有点咸 不太油腻 Salty, not too greasy.
我吃出了一个鸭子的形状 That one's shaped like a duck.
好了 我觉得这款产品值得购买 Well, I guess that's definitely a buy.
评测结束 That's it.
“耐吃薯片”的确耐吃 Let's Potato Chips are good, and they're a buy.
Leonard比Techmessager评测做的好 LEONARD'S FOOD REVIEW!!
Bonus字幕：Tears