安德烈会打扮成韩·索罗 And Andre is going as Han Solo.
一家四口集体COS《星球大战》
俩哥哥是帝国冲锋队 小本娃扮伊沃克人 The boys are stormtroopers and little baby Ben is an Ewok.
你家可没那么多孩子 Aw, you don't have enough children.
大家万圣节派对快乐 Happy Halloween parties, everyone.
特哥布弟COS的是漫画《凯文的幻虎世界》 (Calvin and Hobbes)
大家扮相真棒 火腿妹 You all look great... Ham.
你个猪 我来猜猜 Pig. Let me guess.
穿真丝内裤想趁机全裸吗 借口真烂 You're a flimsy excuse to be shirtless, wearing silk underwear.
大错特错 我不怪你 And you are as wrong as you are welcome.
今年 我准备和安妮搭档出角色 Now, this year, I planned a two-person costume with Annie.
她会打扮成我的钟铃女郎 She's going as my ring girl.
是不是特别吓人 Pretty freaky-aky, huh?
安妮 错了 Annie, no.
我是说拳击比赛的钟铃女郎 I meant the boxing match ring girl.
安妮误解成《午夜凶铃》(The Ring)
举着比赛回合数字牌的辣妹 They're the sexy ones that hold the round numbers.
所以说只发短信是远远不够的 杰夫 Yeah, see? This is why we can't just text about it, Jeff.
我又不看体育节目 I don't watch sports.
《午夜凶铃》里也没拳击手啊 But there's no boxer in The Ring.
好吧 我不看恐怖电影 Yeah, well, I don't watch scary movies.
所以两人装还是留给真正的情侣穿吧 And that's why we leave the couples' costumes to the couples,
她明智地说道 she said wisely.
你还是去提醒你男友的男友吧 You should probably warn your boyfriend's boyfriend.
就算我俩在约会 那也不意味着 Just because we're dating doesn't mean
我们干什么事都要一起 that we have to do everything together.
但你们总得在一起干点什么事吧 Well, you need to do some things together.
我们干过一些 We do some things.
我们干过很多 We do a lot of things.
也不是全都干过 not all the things.
-干这些吧 -好了 - Things. - Okay, so,
大家都到了 除了皮尔斯 we're all here, minus Pierce,
他没接到薇琪派对的邀请 who wasn't invited to Vicki's party
至于原因 我们管不着也不想管 for reasons beyond our control or concern.
没啥神秘的 她拿铅笔戳破了他的脸 No mystery there. She put a pencil through his face.
-薇琪家有电视吗 -阿布蒂 这可是派对 - Does Vicki have a TV? - Abed, it's a party.
-你不能看电视 -不 我会看安妮 - You're not watching TV. - No, I'll be watching Annie.
她开始看《熟女镇》的重播了 She started watching Cougar Town re-runs,
这让安妮成了我第三喜欢的节目 which makes Annie my third favorite show,
今晚是"万酒节"特别集 and tonight is their Hallo-wine special.
对哦 千万别错过梅乐酒[熟女镇] Ooh, that's right. Better not miss the merlot.
干杯 干吗 人家迷嘛 Clink! What? You fall into it.
是皮尔斯 他不小心将自己 That was Pierce. He accidentally
锁在避难室里 求我们帮忙 locked himself in his panic room and he needs our help.
别瞎嚎 No, "Oh!"
这种嚎总意味着我们要去违心地做事 "Oh" means we are going against our will,
我们不会去的 他在说谎 and we are not going. He's lying.
他听上去很伤心 He seemed pretty upset,
自从我搬出去后 他就一直孤苦伶仃地 and he's been all alone up there in that mansion
独守霍家堡 ever since I moved out,
而他爸 大家也知道 被杰夫干掉了 and his dad, you know, got killed by Jeff.
打电话求助 经典的电话求助 Calling for help. A classic call for help.
你好 派利医生办公室 心智受创吗 Hello, Dr. Perry's office. Damaged psyche?
是的 我同意付费 Yes, I'll accept the charges.
头啊 管好你脑子 Heads, lock up your brains.
布雷塔正四处搜寻新疗法之肉了 Britta's on the prowl for fresh therapy meat.
或许我们可以在去派对的途中顺便看一眼 Maybe we should just stop by on our way to the party.
我向你保证 I assure you,
困住皮尔斯的只有一个 那就是青春期 the only thing Pierce is trapped in is adolescence.
他就是个老顽童 He is a geriatric toddler,
花钱耍些最费尽心思的小孩子脾气 throwing the most elaborate tantrums money can buy,
而我个人是不会支持也不允许 And I, for one, am not gonna stand by and allow
一个寂寞成疯 荒唐成狂的人 some lonely, ridiculous person
打乱咱们整个小组的计划 to derail our group's plans.
回到场角 拳击手们 To your corners, fighters.
有人替我留了条毛巾哟 Someone save me a towel.
你们要去薇琪的派对吗 You guys going to Vicki's party?
我们得先去帮皮尔斯 We just gotta do this thing first.
■
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翻译：尼克白 米粒
翻译：大卫熊 废咔柴
时间轴：Poxle
校对：午夜熊橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
《废柴联盟》 第四季第二集
不是吧 这地方真大 Holy Helen, this place is huge.
比我印象中恐怖了一点 It seems spookier than I remember.
这里最恐怖的 还得数这庸俗的装潢 Ah,the only thing spooky about this place is the tacky decor.
像80年代满大街都是大卫·李·罗斯 It's like David Lee Roth threw up Miami Vice.
前者为当时风靡一时的电视剧 后者为同年代摇滚歌手
-俗不可耐 -或许皮尔斯过得并不如意 - So tacky. - I don't know. Maybe Pierce isn't doing so well
因为他先失去老爸 since he lost his father and then his
跟吉尔伯特电玩大战后又丢掉了遗产 inheritance in a video game battle with Gilbert,
而之前他完全不知道 an illegitimate half-brother he never knew he had.
这个同父异母私生弟弟的存在 an illegitimate half-brother he never knew he had.
我怎么这么大声说出来了 I guess I've never said it out loud.
大家往这边走 Guys, over here.
霍桑先生的避难室 Mr. Hawthorne's panic room,
我搬进霍家堡之前的导览观光中 One of the 27 stops on the guided tour
必须记住的27个景点之一 I had to memorize before moving into Hawthorne manor.
-霍家堡有很多访客吗 -你们是第一批 - Does the house get many visitors? - You're the first.
坚不可摧的碳化钛门 Impenetrable titanium carbonite door,
防黑客的密码门禁操作口 Hacker-proof key-code access panel,
以及拉风无比的远程遥控视频通讯屏 and impressive video telecom screen with remote.
最多容纳一人 可携带女伴 Maximum occupancy one, with female companion.
购于1989年6月30日 Purchased June 30, 1989.
我费了很长时间才记住这个日期 It took me forever to remember that date.
1989年6月30日 June 30, 1989.
电影《为所应为》公映 Theatrical release of Do the Right Thing.
1989年黑人电影 讲种族矛盾的
等等 没准是陷阱 Wait! It might be a trap.
也可能救他出来 Or it might let him out.
-不管怎样 我们 -闭嘴 大裤衩 - Either way, we... - Oh, put a sock in it, shorts.
避难套房
大家好 Oh, hey, guys.
皮尔斯 你没事吧 Pierce, are you okay?
当然 我好着呢 Oh, sure. Fine, fine.
我当时在里面打扫卫生 I was dusting in here,
肯定是撞到开关之类的东西了 and I must have bumped a switch or something.
作为小组中最优雅体面的人 As the graceful one in the group,
真是感觉很不好意思 I'm kind of embarrassed.
没关系 比这更惨的地方我都被锁过 Don't be. I've been locked in way worse places than this.
不过我是自愿的 Oh, not against my will.
你被锁了多久了 Been in there long?
没多久 但我不记得密码了 No, not long, but I couldn't remember the damn code.
抱歉给你们添麻烦了 Sorry to be a burden on you guys,
现在我除了是麻烦 一无是处 But I guess that's all I am now.
没事的 我们很乐意来帮忙 It's okay. We're happy to help.
没关系 波巴·费特 Yeah, no sweat, Boba Fett.
《星球大战》角色
你这有电视吗 Yeah. Do you have a TV?
阿布蒂是说 其他地方你有写备份密码吗 What Abed means is, did you write the code down anywhere?
当然 记在我书房里一个红本本上 Yes. It's in a red notebook in my study
也可能是放在卧室了 or my bedroom, maybe.
我对家里东西摆放了如指掌直到炒掉女佣 I used to know where everything was before I fired my maid.
现在倒是真用不着保险箱了 Now there's no reason to use my safe.
没关系 我们会找到的 两秒钟搞定 That's okay. We'll find it. It'll take two secs.
或者花一秒钟 直接说重点吧 Or we take one sec and just skip to the catch.
这里很久没有打扫过了 This place has not been dusted in months,
他却从避难室开始打扫 And he starts with the panic room?
谁信啊 他不是什么可怜的老头 No sale. He's not a sad old man.
-而是个可悲的老骗子 -杰夫瑞 - He's a sad old liar. - Jeffrey!
别说了 他说得对 我一直都在骗你们 No, no, he's right. I've been lying to you.
真相是 昨晚我起床去喝一杯 The truth is, last night, I got up to get a glass of
红...饮料 red w...uh, water,
结果从酒窖往回走时 and on my way back from the cellar,
看到了一些东西 我被吓得魂不附体 I saw something that scared me so badly,
就把自己锁在这里面了 是我自己锁的 I locked myself in here, on purpose.
忘记密码这件事是真的 The part about not remembering the code is true.
渴死我了 I'm very thirsty.
你怎么不早点打给我 Why didn't you call me sooner?
我也需要时间编出那个大扫除的故事嘛 I had to come up with that awesome dusting story
要是你们知道了把我吓到的东西是啥 Because if you knew what spooked me,
你们就得骂我老糊涂了 you'd probably call me crazy and old.
没人会骂你老糊涂的 皮尔斯 No one's gonna call you, Pierce.
没关系 说吧 我们会帮你的 You can tell us. We're here to help you.
我好像看见我爸了 I thought I saw my dad.
就像是他的脸要从墙中冲出来一样 It looked like his face was coming right through the wall,
但那根本不可能啊 因为我爸已经死了 but that's impossible, because my dad is dead.
我不是笑你爸死了 I mean, not, aha, your dad is dead,
是笑我就知道你的花招 but, aha, I knew it.
死鬼老爸 让我们在鬼屋里找密码 Ghost dad, exploring your haunted mansion for secret codes?
挺会想啊 皮尔斯 你当我们傻吗 Nice try, Pierce. You gotta be kidding me!
你们这帮二货干嘛呢 What in the scooby-doo is happening to you people?
杰夫 你先走吧 我们到时候去找你 Jeff, just go to the party, and we'll meet you there.
我们要留在这里帮皮尔斯 We're gonna stay here and help Pierce.
他才不需要人帮 他要你们围着他转 He doesn't need help. He needs attention.
-你真有那么天真吗 -你问我天不天真 - Are you really this naive? - Am I naive?
看这扮相也绝对比你的"钟铃辣妹"天真 I'm sure as stuff not your sexy little ring girl.
-我 -闭嘴 火腿 - I... - Can it, ham.
还指着她开车送我呢 She's also my ride.
其实吧... The truth is...
左边第三间就是皮尔斯的卧室 Pierce's bedroom is the third door on the left.
我可没把短时记忆丢在科切拉音乐节上 I didn't leave my short-term memory at Coachella.
靠 翁格 别来荤的好不好 Jeez, Winger, keep it above the belt.
-不好意思 -我已经忘了 - I'm sorry. - Ah, already forgotten.
这房子有点瘆人 This house is getting to me.
是啊 住过死人的地方 想想就慎得慌 I know. Kind of weird that a dead person used to live here.
才不是 居然有大活人跟父母在这里 No, what's weird is that a living person lived here
住到了六十岁 这才叫诡异 with his parents, well into his 60s.
然后父母死了 他还住这里 更诡异 Then they died, and he's still here,
简直是生活不能自理的彼得·潘 like a paralyzed Peter Pan.
以后就不会了 Not for long.
看我放出话疗大招 专治恋父情结 I'm gonna set my shrink-ray to daddy issues
保证给那个矬人治得服服帖帖 and blast that sucker full of closure.
治呗 反正治不死 Well, I guess it can't hurt.
当然 不管从哪个方面讲 Exactly, because, in one way or another,
谈话治疗总是有用的 therapy is always helpful.
才不是 不过反正他已经矬到底了 No, because there's no possible way
随你怎么折腾 you could mess him up worse.
死猪不怕开水烫 It's like practicing on a cadaver.
-你就尽情发挥吧 -肯定是这间 - Knock yourself out. - This has got to be it.
早知道不该穿这么暴露的 I wish I didn't have so much exposed skin.
很时髦嘛[80年代流行语] Tubular.
我也是 无力吐槽了 I, too, lack the adjectives.
现在怎么办 我们要找一个 Now, how does one search for a
并不存在的红本子 但又不想抬眼看 red notebook that doesn't exist without looking,
伸手摸 也不想给噩梦积累素材 touching, or creating future nightmares?
我去翻翻床头柜 I'll check the nightstand.
我去翻我手机信箱 I'll check my messages.
我的天 Oh, my God.
皮尔斯居然把他爸的领结放在床头 Pierce keeps his dad's bowtie by his bed.
好恶 Yeesh.
给弗洛伊德留个位置 恋父狂... Table for Siggy Freud, party of...
布雷塔 把电话挂了 Britta, stop answering phones.
不如问问"瑞普·凡·种族歧视爷"密码在哪 How about we ask Rip Van Racism where the codes are?
瑞普·凡·温克尔: 19世纪同名短篇小说主人公 其外形酷似皮尔斯老爹
-别这么说 多没礼貌 -什么 - Don't. That's not nice. - What?
不就是个抠门吝啬 轻佻风流的偏执狂 He was a tight-fisted, philandering bigot
活得比桥都长寿的老不死嘛 who got to outlive most bridges.
根本没必要把他当回事 We don't owe him our reverence.
怎么样 尘归尘土归土先生 So, how about it, you old bag of dust?
你知道密码不 You got our numbers?
-我说真的 别说了 -不是吧 - I'm serious. Stop it. - Come on.
你不会真的相信有鬼吧 You don't really believe in ghosts?
我不知道 宁可信其有不可信其无 I don't know. I'm just not so quick to rule it out.
我只知道早年未解的心结 I believe people can be haunted
会反复萦绕 挥之不去 by unresolved issues in their past.
是 但心结不会变成鬼 Yeah, but issues don't turn into ghosts.
说不定皮尔斯的就会 Maybe for Pierce, they have.
说不定他和他爸之间有很严重的心结未了 Maybe Pierce and his dad have some seriously unfinished business.
错 死人不会有心结 No, the dead can't have business.
他们不能索取 思考 行动 They can't want or think or do.
所以才叫死人 It's what makes them dead.
闹鬼什么的都是活人自寻烦恼 It's the living who choose to be haunted.
科尼里奥斯都算不上是个父亲 Cornelius was barely a dad.
现在更什么都不是 Now, he's nothing.
所以皮尔斯要么继续执念那份虚妄父爱 And Pierce keeps staring into that void
要么回头是岸 像我一样直面未来 or he can turn around, face his future like I did,
然后说 谁他妈在乎我爸是谁 and say, "Who gives a crap who my dad was?
我自立自强 我 I'm my own man now. I..."
挺聪明的 布雷塔 Wow. Pretty slick, Britta,
利用鬼魂让我吐露心声 Using ghosts to trick me into opening up.
可惜没成功 Too bad it didn't work.
我靠 原来话疗别人的感觉这么爽 Aw, man, so this is what the zone feels like.
心理分析超屌 Oh! Analyze this!
我不想再检查第二遍 We don't want to go over the same area twice,
-所以查彻底一点 -彻底 懂了 - So be thorough. - Thorough. Got it.
这应该叫暗棕色 算了不跟他计较 More of a burnt umber, but I won't hold that against him.
《皮尔斯·霍桑品芳录》 "Pierce Hawthorne's Ideas For Ladies"?
受不了 Oh, please.
"金发 长腿 打网球的 "Blonde, long legs, with tennis racquet.
亚裔摇滚妹 "Asian rockette.
红发巨乳 可惜是医生 问号 Big boobs, redhead, but doctor," Question mark.
这个他居然还有疑问 Oh, he's not 100% on that one?
这是此生最让我激动的瞬间了 This is the greatest thing that has ever happened to me.
好吧 我没找到密码 Okay, I don't have the codes.
说不定雪瑞和特洛伊在图书室还有戏 Maybe Shirley and Troy are having better luck in the library.
阿布蒂 Abed?
如果你是在效仿 If this is supposed to be, like,
某部电影中的某段类似情节 that part in that movie that's like this,
我可告诉你 我不看恐怖片 I would like to remind you that I don't watch scary movies
所以也欣赏不了这种致敬经典 and therefore cannot appreciate the homage.
阿布蒂 Abed?
我恨这种暗含出处的幽默 I hate reference humor.
这算编剧的自嘲吗= =
等等 Hold on.
我已经被这件外套闪瞎过一次了 I've been offended by this coat rack before.
我们是不是在绕圈圈 Are we going in circles?
好吧 我承认我去图书室的次数是比较少 Okay, so maybe I spent a little less time in the library
远远少于 步入式麦片储存间 than, say, the walk-in cereal closet,
但它绝对就在这附近 But it's definitely near here.
你略过了这扇门 You skipped this door.
皮尔斯说我不用进去 Pierce told me I don't need to go in there.
那它就很有可能是图书室 Then it's probably the library.
种族歧视的老王八... Racist son of a...
索多玛啊蛾摩拉[均为罪恶之城] Sodom and Gomorrah.
这是皮尔斯的特别健身房 从来不许我用 It's Pierce's special gym. He never let me use it,
-因为他老觉得我是小毛孩 -等一下 - 'cause he thinks I'm a child. - Hold...
他藏了室内秋千 还说我是小孩 He's hiding the indoor swing, and I'm the child.
不对劲 特洛伊 快出来 No. Troy, get out of there.
为什么有这么多项圈 Why does he have so many collars?
还偷养狗狗 Secret dogs!
好了 走吧 受不了 It's okay. Come on. Oh, no.
忘掉刚刚看到的东西 Forget you saw that,
顺便忘掉我一脸了然的样子 and then forget I knew what it was.
很好 你不告诉我 皮尔斯也不告诉我 Great, you won't tell me, Pierce won't tell me.
我都不知道怎么谷歌 永远也不会知道了 I have no idea what to google. I'll never know.
相信我 和布雷塔约会 Believe me, dating Britta,
你马上就会知道 而且会知道太多 you'll know too much too soon soon enough.
这跟布雷塔有什么关系 What does Britta have to do with this?
她是个阅历丰富的现代女性 Well, she's a modern woman with experienced tastes.
你们交往我觉得很好 I think it's nice you two are dating.
我只是不希望她给你施加太多压力 I only hope she doesn't make you feel pressured.
-什么压力 -满足她的需求 - Pressured to what? - To fulfill her expectations.
什么需求 Expectations of what?
-算了 -她哪里不满意了 - Never mind. - Unsatisfied with what?
我找不到阿布蒂了 I lost Abed.
我转了个身 他就不见了 I turned around and he disappeared.
我告诉过你不要让他离开你的视线 I told you to never let him out of your sight.
过节或是去蜡像馆更要加倍注意 That goes double for holidays and wax museums.
怎么找他呢 How are we gonna find him?
不知道 但是我们必须找到他 I don't know, but we have to.
他可能已经在找我们了 He's probably already looking for us.
《熟女镇》从来都是过"万酒节" Oh, well, that's Hallo-wine in Cougar Town for ya.
女士们 我会追随你们直到天涯海角 Oh, ladies, I'll follow you anywhere.
-我没有恋父情结 -给你们两分钟 - I do not have daddy issues. - You get two minutes.
否认是接受的第一步 Denial is the first step to acceptance.
-才不是 -否认主义者好意思说 - That can't be right. - Says the deny-ist.
-别编造单词了 -还想自欺欺人是吧 - Not a word. - You want to keep digging this hole?
直面你的恋父情结 Confronting your daddy issues now
能够让你避免像皮尔斯一样困扰纠结 could prevent you from ending up haunted, like Pierce.
-我才不会像皮尔斯一样 -不会吗 - I'll never end up like Pierce. - Won't you?
不 我跟他完全不一样 No, because I'm nothing like him.
-是吗 -你要一直这样吗 - Aren't you? - Are you gonna keep doing that?
-有吗 -最烂的心理医生 不 - Am I? - The worst therapist? No.
因为你根本就不是心理医生 Because you're not a therapist.
不过既然你的诊断错得十万八千里 But since your misdiagnosing by a mile,
就让我跟你说说不同点 let me point out some differences.
皮尔斯被父亲养大 Pierce was raised by his dad.
我爸在我八岁时就消失了 Mine took off when I was eight.
皮尔斯在他可悲的一生中 Pierce spent his whole, pathetic life
渴求他父亲的认可 begging for scraps of his father's approval.
我早就向前看了 I moved on.
或许皮尔斯需要爸爸 我不需要 Maybe Pierce needs a dad. I don't.
-不需要吗 -够了 - Don't you? - Stop that!
如果我这么需要爸爸 Okay, if I need a dad so bad,
我怎么会拿到我爸的电话号码已经三周了 how come I've had his phone number for three weeks
却一点给他打电话的意愿都没有呢 without the slightest urge to call him?
你找到你爸爸了 You found your dad?
找到了吗 Did I?
给我 Give it here!
我记得这剧跟社区大学有关来着 I remember when this show was about a community college.
不 你吃鱼条吧 参议员 No, you take the fish sticks, senator.
好好欣赏游艇展吧 Enjoy the boat show.
酷 Cool.
酷酷酷 Cool, cool, cool.
让我看看号码 这是为了给你治病 Just let me see the number, for medical purposes!
不要 No!
让我治愈你的心灵创伤吧 Help me heal your heart hole!
绝不 Never!
原来皮尔斯把他的品味藏在这了 So, this is where Pierce has been hiding the taste.
敬你 科尼里奥斯 Here's to you, Cornelius.
死了也没被原谅 Gone, but not forgiven.
避难室密码
当然 Of course.
不然这串数字还能有啥意义 Otherwise, it wouldn't be pointless.
这毫无意义 This is pointless.
找不到阿布蒂 又没有密码 We have no Abed, no codes.
皮尔斯这是让我们白费功夫 Pierce sent us on a wild goose chase.
杰夫说得对 我太天真了 Jeff was right. I am naive.
别听他的 Oh, don't listen to him.
想要帮助有困难的朋友可不是天真 There's nothing naive about helping a friend in need.
杰夫如果不鄙视少儿节目的话 Jeff would know that if he wasn't
也会明白这一点的 too cool for after-school specials.
-谢谢 特洛伊 -别慌 阿布蒂在这 - Thanks, Troy. - Don't worry. Abed's here.
我感觉得到 I can feel him.
也许我们应该回有室内秋千的那个屋看看 Maybe we should loop back to the indoor swing room.
室内秋千 那太扯了 Indoor swing? That's ridiculous.
会打坏台灯的 Someone's gonna break a lamp.
还是小心别摔残了吧 Break something on it.
布雷塔 我对你温柔的 Britta, while I applaud your gentle
心理治疗方式致以敬意 approach to psychoanalysis,
我不会谈的 I'm not gonna talk about it.
别敲了 Hey, cut it out!
你会把门敲...坏的 You're gonna break the...door.
看看是谁爬回来找我了 Well, look who came crawling back.
不是爬 是走 I'm not crawling. Walking.
还走得很快 跟上 Quite briskly. Follow!
我喜欢跟你聊天 安妮 I like talking to you, Annie.
很舒服 我希望你也有同样的感觉 It's easy. I hope you feel like you can talk to me too.
我 Uh, I...
尽管说 室友之间没有秘密 Spit it out. No secrets between roomies.
你后面[挺你] Behind you!
我也挺你 I'm behind you too.
手 墙 Hands! Wall!
不知道你在干什么 Not sure where you're going here,
有话就讲嘛 but just let it out.
别出来 别出来 Don't let it out! Don't let it out!
好了 皮尔斯 关掉你的鬼屋吧 All right, Pierce, turn off your haunted house!
老天 皮尔斯死了 Oh, my God, Pierce is dead.
科尼里奥斯杀了他 Cornelius killed him.
我把遥控器弄坏了 I broke the remote!
应该不是很贵吧 Do you think it's expensive?
拜托 皮尔斯 Please, Pierce!
阳寿未尽 可别提前死啊 Please don't die slightly before your time.
这意味着我们是下一个 我们很惜命的 This means we're next, and I care about us.
在哪 Where...
骗到你们了 Gotcha!
搞什么飞机 What the hell?
我让你们完全相信我已经死了 I totally had you guys convinced I was dead.
这样能教会你们重视我的存在 That'll teach you to value my presence.
-皮尔斯 -别冲我嚎 - Pierce. - Don't Pierce me.
你们想撇下我去薇琪的派对 You were going to Vicki's party without me.
你们肯定没想到我会设计鬼屋 Bet you didn't expect me to fake a haunted house
教你们一课吧 to teach you a lesson.
果然不出所料 That's exactly what we expected.
拜托你啊皮尔斯 For heaven's sake, Pierce,
是薇琪没邀请你 Vicki's the one that didn't invite you.
干嘛不去吓唬她 Why didn't you scare her?
因为我讨厌她 'Cause I hate her.
阿布蒂 你去哪了 Abed, where have you been?
我发现了皮尔斯的秘密监控室 I found Pierce's secret surveillance room.
你们知道他设置了一个鬼屋吗 Did you guys know he was faking a haunted house?
经典的阿布蒂·纳德尔式马后炮 This has been Abed Nadir with the late report.
抱歉 剪辑蒙太奇很费时间 Sorry. Good montages take time.
逗你们太简单了 Man, it was so easy.
几扇窗户 几个镜子把戏 A few shadows, a couple of mirror tricks.
一面动过手脚的乳胶墙 A little, custom-built latex walls,
就把你们全都吓尿了裤衩 and you're all crappin' in your short pants.
确实不赖 It was pretty impressive,
尤其是专门雇人扮鬼影看你睡觉 particularly the shadowy figure you hired to watch you sleep.
那可够吓人的 Wow, that is creepy.
精彩的表演 他很伤心是吧 A stand-out performance. Is he sad?
-你又搞毛 -我没雇人啊 - What are you doing? - I didn't hire anyone.
闹够了吗 皮尔斯 快把那破门打开 Oh, enough, Pierce. Just open the damn door.
根本没有鬼 There's no ghost.
那你怎么解释这个 Then how do you explain this?
肯定是你拜托什么人帮你完成 You probably asked someone to help you with
这傻缺恶作剧后 又忘得一干二净 your stupid prank and then forgot.
《星际迷航》角色
勒瓦·波顿之前坚决拒绝了我 Uh-uh. LeVar Burton was a hard no.
只有一个解释 There's only one explanation.
我的恶作剧贬低了父亲的美名 I belittled my father's good name for a prank,
所以他的鬼魂回来责罚我 and his ghost has returned to scold me
你们因为跟着一起胡闹 也可能被他灭掉 and probably butcher you guys for going along with it.
你以为藏在这屋子里就安全了吗 You think hiding in this room is gonna keep you safe?
鬼魂无法穿门而入 笨蛋 Ghosts can't go through doors, stupid.
它们又不像火 They're not fire.
皮尔斯 我为参加派对请了一位 Pierce, I am paying a teenager by the hour
十几岁的保姆照看孩子 按小时付薪水 to care about my children so I can go to this party,
你必须好好考虑一下 so you have to ask yourself,
真正危险的是外面的鬼还是里面的我 is the real threat out there or in here?
好吧 我自己去开 Fine. I'll open it myself.
别 不要 他会责罚我的 No, no. He'll scold me!
有人正在门外按密码 Someone's punching in the code from the outside.
拜托告诉我有人还在外面 Please tell me one of us is outside.
我能帮您做点什么 May I be some assistance?
吉尔伯特 Gilbert!
吉尔伯特 你来我房子里干嘛 Gilbert, what are you doing in my house?
事实上这是我的房子 Well, technically, it's my house.
自从咱们的父亲死后 After our father died,
我成为他财产的唯一继承人 I became the sole inheritor of his estate,
包括六处房产和一艘退役潜艇 including all six houses and the decommissioned submarine.
啥 What?
你是来赶我走的吗 So you came here to kick me out?
其实我是来送房契的 Actually, I came here to give you the deed,
但我来的那天你不在家 but on the day of my arrival, you were out.
我看到门口的信件堆积成山 I noticed mail piled up by the door.
就拿了进来 付了欠款的账单 I took it in, paid the overdue bills,
换了几个坏灯泡 replaced a few light bulbs, and, well,
这都是六周之前了 that was six weeks ago.
你一直偷偷住在这里吗 So you've been living here in secret this whole time?
是的 说来惭愧 Yes. I'm ashamed to say that
我这一辈子都给科尼里奥斯做助理 after a lifetime as Cornelius's assistant,
我无法适应他过世后的生活 I've had a difficult time adjusting to his passing.
他的过世对我产生的负面影响 It seems his absence has taken a greater toll
似乎比他在世时更大 than his presence ever did.
照顾皮尔斯让我重拾新的生活目标 Taking care of Pierce gave my life purpose again,
但你这位纤瘦的朋友发现了我 but now that I've been discovered by your thin friend,
我必须道歉并就此告辞了 I must apologize and bid you adieu.
再见 皮尔斯 Good-bye, Pierce.
烘干机里有很多干净袜子 There's a load of clean socks in the dryer.
吉尔伯特 等等 Gilbert, wait. Wait.
爸爸死后我一直过得很好 Look, I've been doing really well since dad died,
我不需要被照顾 so I don't need anyone taking care of me,
不过如果你有难处 but if you're having a tough time...
我再添个室友也无妨 Well, I guess I could use a roommate.
还有什么吩咐吗 弟弟 Will there be anything else, brother?
有 来个拥抱 Yes. Bring it in.
去派对玩得开心 Have fun at the party.
告诉薇琪我祝她万圣节快乐 Tell Vicki I say happy Halloween.
这话肯定会惹毛她 That'll mess with her.
你确定不来了吗 You sure you don't want to come?
我给你准备了面具哦 I've got a mask for you to wear.
嘴巴上不带拉链的那种 One that doesn't zip at the mouth.
不了 谢谢 No, thanks.
我还是在这陪吉尔伯特吧 I'll hang around here with Gilbert.
他需要我 He needs me.
真有爱 Oh, that's nice.
面具是怎么回事 What was all that about masks?
不知道 也不想知道 Don't know, don't want to.
好吧 Fair enough.
咱们俩别去派对了咋样 Hey, how about you and I skip out on this party?
为啥 那去哪 干什么 Why? To do what and where?
我是想跟你一起看《时空探长》 Oh, I was thinking you could show me some Inspector Spacetime.
总是听你提这部剧 You're always talking about it.
但我连完整的一集都没看完过 I've never seen a full episode.
你确定想看吗 Are you sure you want to?
开头节奏挺慢的 It starts pretty slow.
第一位探长都不会穿越时空 The first inspector couldn't even time-travel.
听起来不错 That sounds fine.
今晚一直跑来跑去绕圈圈 After a night of running in circles,
帮翁格解开心结 trying to untie Winger knots,
我确实需要点慢节奏了 I'm looking for something slow.
抱歉我毁掉了你的夜晚 Sorry I ruined your night.
是皮尔斯毁掉的 Actually, Pierce ruined my night,
但你选择救他是对的 but you were right to let him.
你还想去派对吗 You still want to go to the party?
我听说薇琪买了干冰 I heard Vicki bought dry ice
给伦纳德的地址也是错的 and gave Leonard the wrong address.
我还是不去了 Uh, I'll take a pass.
我家里有点事情未了 I have some unfinished business at home.
特洛伊 Troy!
你在里面吗 Are you in here?
阿布蒂 是你吗 Abed, was that you?
我想带你到书架后面看看 I want to show you something on the other side of the bookcase.
特洛伊 Troy?
速度来找我 Find me as soon as you can.
谁在我家里 Who is in my house?
吉尔伯特 Gilbert!
又瞎搞 Hijinks.
毋庸置疑 Indubitably.
成功了吗 你长高了吗 Did it work? Are you tall?