看 12点钟方向 Look, 12 o'clock.
《冰激凌史》下课了 The "History of Ice Cream" class is letting out.
不仅好吃 而且长知识 It's as informative as it is delicious!
上这门课的本来应该是我们 That class should've been ours.
我听说期末考是圣代冰激凌吧 I hear the final is a sundae bar.
我对历史不是很了解 I don't get history.
如果我想知道很久以前欧洲发生过什么 If I wanted to know what happened in Europe a long time ago,
我会去看《权力的游戏》 I'd watch Game of Thrones.
特洛伊 那部剧是奇幻世界的史诗 Troy, that show takes place in a fantasy realm.
而这门课讲的是真实的世界 This class is about the real world.
不讲电视剧 Not the show.
你给我想清楚再说 You need to think before you speak.
我听说这个老师特别严厉古板 I heard this teacher's a real hard-ass.
他是英国人 而且还有学位 He's British, and he has a degree.
ass和buns都有"屁股"的意思
我可不想要什么"股板"老师 I can't have a hard-buns teacher.
我现在的新生意也开起来了 I'm already starting a new business.
这样哪有时间和家人相处啊 When am I supposed to see my family?
上周小本第一次迈步走路 我都不在场 And last week, Ben took his first steps without me.
第一反应 "呜哇" Quick impression. "Wah."
偶素谁呀 乃们呀 Who am I? You guys.
说得好 Ha! Dead on.
我知道《冰激凌史》会很有趣 I know "The History of Ice Cream" would have been fun,
但上这门课 我们不太容易 but not only will this class be much less
得Ⅱ型糖尿病 likely to give us Type 2 Diabetes.
我们说不定还能学到 个鬼啊 We might actually learn so...n of a bitch!
那些讨厌的德国人又回来了 Those annoying Germans are back?
我还以为他们输掉 I thought they transferred after
桌上足球奖学金后 就转学了呢 they lost their foosball scholarship.
我听说他们挺有趣的 I heard they were juicing.
不 他们要是能走人 No, them leaving would mean
格林德尔会变得更加美好 Greendale got slightly better,
但天不遂人愿 他们没走 which, as we know, does not happen.
卢卡斯 卡尔 Lukas, Karl,
看来你们又新添了一个"开山怪"嘛 I see you've grown a new douche bag.
我叫雷侯德 My name is Reinhold.
我想你应该认识我哥于尔根 I believe you know my brother Juergen.
你俩之间有点过节 是咩 There was some bad blood between you two, ja?
别担心 Don't worry.
大德意志的子民唯一不会做的 If there is one thing Germans don't do,
就是从不记仇 it's hold a grudge.
除非我们在说《虎胆龙威3》 Unless we're talking about Die Hard 3.
不然就是20世纪 Or the 20th century.
-大家早上好 -早上好 - Morning, everyone. - Morning.
我是康沃利斯教授 I am Professor Cornwallis.
我知道你们都在想什么 I know what you're all thinking,
而答案就是 and the answer is...
对 我就是查尔斯·康沃利斯将军的 Yes. I am a direct descendant of
直系后裔 General Sir Charles Cornwallis,
1781年 标志美国独立战争正式结束
就是在约克镇率英军投降的那个 who surrendered the British forces at Yorktown.
谁会去想这个 Was anyone thinking that?
没有 No.
历史是由 History is written...
胜者书写的 by the victors.
当然 我们都知道这句话 Well, of course, we all know the quote.
但这句话什么意思 What does it mean?
按照牛津大学的说法 意思就是 According to Oxford University, it means
我长达二十年的兢兢业业 that my 20 years' loyal service there
跟一时不慎 means nothing next to
搞上女学生相比 屁也不算 a little slipup with a co-ed.
但这句话真正的意思是历史 But what it really means is that history
可以从不同高度的角度来看 can be seen from aultitude of vantage points.
所以 你们周一的第一次考试 So, for your first test on Monday...
我凌乱了 我们什么时候才有冰激凌拿 I'm confused. When do we get our ice cream?
我希望能激发你们 I want to challenge you to look at
全方位观察历史的能力 history from all perspectives.
如果历史不是胜者所书 How would the story read
而是由败寇而撰 if it was written not by the victors,
故事会有怎样的结局 but by the vanquished?
说得是呢 How indeed?
我想起了德国版《天才保姆》里 I was recalling a very funny episode
1993年CBS播的喜剧 一位犹太姑娘 在曼哈顿上流家庭做保姆的故事
很搞笑的一集 of the German version of The Nanny.
女主鼻音极重 笑声很洗脑
弗兰妮得到了 "Franlein" gets a--
算了 不好翻译 It wouldn't translate.
翻译：尼克白 米粒
翻译：大卫熊 废咔柴
时间轴：Ans 加森
校对：盖世太橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
《废柴联盟》 第四季第四集
■
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而我还留着那些裤子 真事儿 And I still have those pants. True story.
我们玩得很嗨 Oh, we have fun.
抱歉 Sorry.
我应该想到这会吓到你 I should've realized that might be startling.
我是肯·克丹医生 Dr. Ken Kedan,
大格林德尔心理健康服务部的 greater Greendale Mental Health Services.
凯文 你觉得这位先生面熟吗 Kevin, does this gentleman look familiar to you?
对不起 不面熟 I'm sorry. He doesn't.
凯文 得了吧 他真名叫昌 Kevin? Uh-uh. His name is Chang.
难怪 Oh, of course.
那这张纸条就好解释了 That explains the note.
"你好 我叫凯文 我有昌癔症" "Hello, my name is Kevin. I have Changnesia"?
什么玩意儿 What is that?
丧失记忆的人经常搞不清语法 不稀奇 It's not uncommon for victims of memory loss
丧失记忆的人经常搞不清语法 不稀奇 to experience some syntactical confusion.
所以他才会把自己的名字嫁接到 Thus the inappropriate insertion of his name
毫不相关的词中 into an unrelated phrase.
切 他"院"来就常这么干 No, he's always Dean that.
我们一得知他和格林德尔的关系 Once we learned of the connection to Greendale,
就觉得这里的环境是实施 we realized it would be the perfect environment
虚拟实境治疗的最佳选择 for some immersive therapy.
什么 没门 想都别想 What? No, absolutely not.
我可不能让这个疯疯癫癫的祸害 I can't have an unbalanced nut job
在我的校园里到处转悠 traipsing around on my campus!
那个挂衣帽架上 那个放冰箱里 Put that on the rack. Put that in the fridge.
把他弄出去 Get him out of here!
-对不起 -学校董事会已经签字同意了 - Sorry. - Your school board already signed off on it.
凯文现在由你负责了 Kevin is now your responsibility.
我感受到了一丝诡异的不安 I just felt a strange disturbance.
你今早吃了乳制品吗 Did you have dairy this morning?
可能是因为这个 Could be that.
也可能是附近发生了十分邪恶的事情 Or it could be that great evil is nearby.
我去吃片乳糖酶 I'll take a provisional lactaid.
看来用不着了 Won't be needing the lactaid.
少年们 这是我们的自习室 Uh, guys? This is our study room.
拜托死出去 包括弥漫在你们身后的 Please leave, and take that mushroom
黑金属式蘑菇云小宇宙 cloud of Drakkar with you.
[Drakkar是最早的法国黑金属唱片厂牌]
他说话怎么这么冲 Why must he hurt so with his words?
他就像是缺笑版的汉斯·里克斯 He's like a less funny Hans Rickles.
我不是来这争论的 安吉拉·贱嗑死 I'm not here to argue, Angela Jerk-els.
闪人吧 Beat it!
终于有人换频道到USA电视台了 Someone must have changed the channel to USA,
我可是刚刚看了《黑名单》[火线警告] 'cause I just watched a Burn Notice.
谁是安吉拉·贱嗑死 Who's Angela Jerk-els?
我向你们保证 我们来这里 I can assure you, we are here for no reason
真的只是为了学习 other than to study.
我们常去的校外聚集点 "帝国咖灰馆" Our usual off-campus haunt, Der Kaffee Hausen,
因为要拍摄艺术电影暂停营业 is closed for the shooting of an esoteric art film.
它明天会再次营业 Tomorrow it shall re-open,
也省得看您那狂喷浓抹才打造出来的秀发 unt we shall be out of your heavily product-laden hair.
杰夫 不过是房间角落的一张小桌子 Jeff, it's just a little table in the corner of the room.
就让给他们吧 Why don't we just let them have it?
这叫做姑息养奸[绥靖政策] Because that's called appeasement.
地球人都知道 你给德国人一点小甜头 And everyone knows if you give the Germans something small,
比如自习室或者奥地利 like the study room or Austria,
那他们的胃口就会变得更大 they end up wanting something big,
比如全球 like earth.
杰夫说得对 Jeff's right.
如果世上像安妮的人再多点 If there were more people in the world like Annie,
我们早就开始说越南语了 We'd all be speaking Vietnamese right now.
亲历那场战争 That was my war.
多年来我不断忆起当年 I had flashbacks for years.
你那时候明明去了加拿大 Pierce, you moved to Canada.
地狱般的岁月啊 And it was hell.
那帮人管火腿叫"培根"啊 Those people call ham "Bacon".
别傻了 我这就去跟他们说 This is silly. I'm just gonna walk over there
欢迎他们跟我们共用自习室 and tell them they are welcome to share our room.
真好 Delightful.
今天 自习室归我们了 So today, ve study in here.
而今晚 我们将在地狱中共享欢宴 Unt tonight, we dine in hell.
电影《斯巴达300勇士》中的经典台词
闪电博士 亚特兰蒂斯工会的骑士 Doktor Blitz, knight of the Atlantis guild,
在创造点使用的武器是四尖三叉戟 wielder of the four-pronged trident on SpawnCraft?
你怎么知道 How did you know?
我听出你的口头禅 I recognized your catchphrase,
"今晚我们将在地狱中共享欢宴" "Tonight we dine in hell!"
我是"时空旅人8032" I'm Spacetimer8032.
你是"时空旅人8032" You are spacetimer8032?
-正是在下 -幸会呀 - The one and only. - It's wonderful to meet you...
兄弟 Brother.
你们有什么奸情 What was that all about?
看起来很要好的样子嘛 You two seemed pretty chummy.
那哥们救过我一命 That man saved my life.
打游戏的时候 In a video game.
我没听错吧 Let me get this as straight as I can get things.
你们居然批准了 You authorized this?
明知道去年的悲剧还批准了? After everything that happened last year?
听我说完 Hear us out.
他们给钱了 They offered money.
你们也不想一想 Did it ever occur to you
那个人脑子有病啊 that this man is a psychopath
"昌癔症"说不定也是装的 who may be faking his own Changnesia?
我都被他带顺嘴了 Oh, now he has me saying it.
"失院症" Amdeansia.
失院症 拐不回来了 Amdeansia-- I'm all turned around.
如果是装的 你就找出证据来 If he is faking, you're welcome to prove it.
反正不影响我们拿钱 We get the money either way.
我会找到证据的 Oh, I will prove it.
而且会找得我花枝乱颤 And I'll have fun doing it.
那么 穿什么好呢 Now, what to wear?
瞧 See?
虽然昨天那帮人很讨厌 I know those guys were annoying yesterday,
但你看幸好我们没小题大做 but aren't you glad we didn't turn it
挑起一场大战吧 into a whole big macho war thing?
你说的太对了 小安 Gosh, Ane, you're right.
我真不该质疑你 I can't believe I doubted you.
随便问一句 Hey, apropos of nothing,
你被吓到的时候都怎么嚎来着 what's that sound you make when you see something shocking?
对 就是这个声音 Oh, yeah, that's it.
你们干嘛占我们桌子 What are you guys doing at our table?
你们怎么不去"咖灰馆"呢 What happened to Der Kaffee Hausen?
昨天在这里待了一天 Our time in this room yesterday
感觉比想象中还要好 proved more pleasant than expected.
风水特别好 It's got a good energy.
那张书桌是我们的 That table is ours.
这间自习室也是我们的 This room is ours!
你们赶紧走 You guys need to leave.
-你好 卡尔 -你好 阿布蒂 - Hey, Karl. - Hi, Abed.
恐怕要走的是你们吧 I am afraid it is you who must do
大树扫落叶 一去不复返 the making like a tree, which is to say, leaving.
保安 Uh, security!
你让我们走 You want us to leave?
有问题吗 There a problem here?
有问题 Yeah, there's a problem.
这帮好斗傻瓜占了我们的自习室 These Dussle-Dorks won't leave our study room.
说得好 Nice!
这些双关我一点都不懂 I don't understand any of these puns.
看来我得补历史课了 I think I need to learn history.
你们有填使用登记表吗 Do you have a sign-in sheet?
你找我们要登记表 You're asking for our papers?
这里是美国 不是亚利桑那 I thought this was America, not Arizona.
我们有使用登记表哦 卢卡斯 We have a sign-in sheet. Lukas.
不如我们各回各家 Perhaps we should all just go home
享受天伦之乐 然后再想办法怎么样 and see our families and think things through, huh?
自习室是他们的 Looks like the room is theirs.
雪瑞 给你的保姆打电话 Shirley, call your babysitter,
这里 就要 because this...Means...
我猜猜看哈 Let me guess.
开战 War?
听小姑娘把话说完 Let the lady finish her sentence.
谢谢 杰夫 Thank you, Jeff!
开战 对 War. Yeah.
自习室争霸战
第一天 上午9:30
登记使用F自习室 We'd like to sign out study room "F".
似乎在这场战役中 It would appear that in this battle,
二战中盟军与德军的凸出部战役
我们的凸出部比较大啊 our bulge was a little bit bigger.
白白 Guten bye-bye.
不好意思 别碰我 Excuse me. Don't touch.
该死的德国佬 表对得也尼玛准了 Damn them and their perfectly crafted timepieces.
还有哪间可以用 What else do you have available?
《黑天鹅》导演
感觉活在达伦·阿罗诺夫斯基的电影里 It's like a Darren Aronofsky film.
我来 I'll get this.
我的第五任岳父就是电工 My fifth father-in-law was an electrician.
学着点儿 You pick up a thing or two.
谁拉我一把 救命 Everybody grab me, please! Ugh!
谁也不准拉他 Nobody grab him.
皮尔斯 你就撒手吧 Pierce, just let go.
那你就满意了 对吧 You'd like that, wouldn't you?
我是指灯管 皮尔斯 Of the thing, Pierce.
有股烤肉味 Oh, it smells like barbecue.
明天大家都要早起 We're getting up earlier tomorrow.
第二天 上午8:30
不是吧 Oh, no.
第三天 特别特别早
瞧他们那衰样 Oh, look at them!
再次感谢你收留我 Thanks again for taking me in.
我"昌癔"之前咱们肯定关系特别好吧 We must have been great pals before my Changnesia, huh?
我滴 够了 Oh, my-- that's it.
你骗得了那个帅医生 You may have fooled that handsome doctor,
但你蒙不住我 but you can't fool me.
这样多简单啊 Oh, how convenient.
装成"昌癔症" 假装不记得 Showing up here with Changnesia
你以前发动政变 差点炸了学校 after you staged a coup, almost blew up the school,
还把我锁在地下室里好几个月 and locked me in a basement for months!
那里面连保湿霜都没有 Without so much as a drop of moisturizer!
这些都是我干的? I did all that?
我是说 这些都是昌干的? I mean, Chang did all that?
如果真是这样 If that's true,
那么昌 也就是我 then Chang, who is me,
应该去蹲监狱 deserves to go to jail.
他蹲过了 Well, he did.
你也应该去 And you do.
在我96小时的记忆中 This is the worst thing that's happened to me
这一刻是最伤心的时刻 in my 96 hours of memory.
那位失败的傀儡 And that failed ventriloquist's name
前南斯拉夫总统 死在海牙监狱
叫斯洛博丹·米洛舍维奇 was Slobodan Milosevic.
周一测验的论述题部分 For the essay portion of your test on Monday,
会要求你们从胜者和败者两个方面 you will be asked to describe a historical battle
描述一场历史性战役 from the perspectives of both the winners and the losers.
立体模型不算数 No dioramas.
祝你们取得好成绩 Guten luck on the examination.
我们要去F自习室复习咯 Ve vill be preparing for it in study room "F",
谁让我们是胜者呢 As in "Fictory".
你的香椅揉弄着我蛋蛋的感觉好销魂呢 I like the way your old chair cradles mein knaidels.
这可是我独家原创 I just made that up.
话说英语只是我的第一外语而已哟 You know, English is my second language.
杰夫 停下 Jeff, stop.
-都结束了 -不 - It's over. - No.
这帮家伙太邪恶了 These guys are horrible.
是啊 除了卡尔 Totally. Except Karl.
是吗 阿布蒂 Really, Abed?
卡尔不邪恶 Karl's not horrible?
尽管他占据了你的家 Even though he took your home?
我是被我妈拉扯大的 When I was growing up, it was just me and my mom.
没过过什么家庭生活 I didn't have much of a family.
直到我遇到你们 That is, until I met you guys.
如果我不愿放弃那个我们成为一家人的地方 So excuse me if I'm not willing to give up
还请各位多担待 the place where we became a family.
我们该怎么办 So what are we gonna do?
我们不可能起得更早了 We literally can't get up any earlier.
很多年前 Many years ago,
在"玩笑开得太早"这个概念存在之前 before the concept of "too soon" existed,
电视上有个节目 讲一帮傻缺纳粹 there was a show about a bunch of goofy nazis
掌管一个战俘集中营 running a prison camp,
-那剧叫 -《霍根英雄》 - and that show was called-- - Hogan's Heroes?
-《霍根英雄》 -哦耶 - Hogan's heroes. - Yes.
的确 对一个没有犹太朋友的孤单小孩来说 And while, for a latchkey kid with no jewish friends,
看这剧有点麻木不仁 it was a bit desensitizing,
但它仍教会了我 It still taught me
有爱的怪胎们总是会赢 that the lovable misfits always win.
白痴德国佬总是会输 And the bumbling germans always lose.
我们需要的是一条妙计 All we need is a clever ruse.
妙计都用不着 一计就成 Strike that. All we need is a ruse.
你一说计就征服了我 You had me at "ruse."
那是我最后说的词 That was the last thing I said.
说了就管用 Good thing you said it.
欢迎来到啤酒节 Welcome to Oktoberfest.
-咋回事 -我们伸出橄榄枝 - Vat is this? - Call it a peace offering.
你们赢了 我们败了 You won. We lost.
我们停止这场无谓的战争 恩仇尽消吧 Let's end this dumb war and move on.
想来点正宗的血肠吗 Care for some authentic blutwurst?
老正宗了 This stuff's the real deal.
从慕尼黑那嘎达弄的 We got it down in little Munich.
这可是食品药物管理局的禁品 It's been banned by the FDA.
不要 卡尔 No, Karl!
那血肠可能灌了泻药 That blutwurst was probably injected with a laxative
想让我们拉满一裤兜子 to make us pull a grete waitz in our trousers.
我向你保证 I promise you,
肠里没有恶心的东西 there's nothing gross in this sausage.
不过是血灌进了牛的肠子里 It's just pig's blood stuffed into a cow's intestine.
乖乖 一百多个气球啊 Gott, that must be nearly 100 luftballons!
白痴 不要接受他们的礼物 Idiot! Do not accept their gifts.
这里有问题 Something is clearly up.
拜托 这只是我们友情的象征 Please, these are just small tokens of our friendship.
少来 Oh, come on.
制服诱惑 血肠 气球 Dirndls, blutwurst, luftballons.
大得夸张的蛋糕 A cartoonishly large cake.
此乃诡计 This is a ruse.
这简直就是《霍根坏蛋》的剧情 It is exactly like an episode of Hogan's Villains.
诡计 啥诡计都没有 Ruse? This is no ruse.
赶紧把大蛋糕拿回自习室 Just take that large cake back to the study room
好好享用吧 and enjoy it there.
你是说这块巨大的 So there's nothing hiding inside
德国巧克力蛋糕里没藏东西 this giant german chocolate cake?
问阿布蒂 Ask Abed.
你可以相信他 他是朋友 You can trust him. He's a friend.
没有 就是蛋糕 Nope. Just solid cake.
那你们不会介意我 Then you wouldn't mind if I...
切开蛋糕吧 cut the cake?
你也可以等一会嘛 Or you could save it for later.
用不着分给大家吃啦 You don't have to share it.
雪莉整夜没睡就为了给你们烤蛋糕 Shirley stayed up all night baking that for you.
没关系 我用了 No problem. I just used the eggs
给儿子做早饭的鸡蛋 I would've used for my son's breakfast.
但是切开蛋糕 But it would be so easy for me
与大家分享 to carve into this cake...
-很容易 -等等 - and serve us all! - Wait!
该死 抱歉 Damn it. Sorry.
我们以为你们会更蠢的 We thought you were stupider than this.
特洛伊 Troy.
还放瓦斯弹吗 还是说已经过了这村了 Should I release the tear gas, or has that ship sank?
想得美 温[翁]格 An excellent attempt, Vinger,
但是我们比你聪明 于是再一次 but ve are smarter than you, and once again,
是我们在享受 it shall be us who are savoring
胜利的美好滋味 妙不可言哟 the smooth and somewhat ha-ha-hoppy taste of victory.
拿啤酒来 Beer me, bitte.
给 Here you go.
用《翘课天才》里的话说 As they say in Ferris Bueller,
谢了 dankeschon.
那部电影里还有句台词 逮到你们了 And as they say in the movie, gotcha!
逮到你们了 Gotcha.
-抓现行 -抓现行 - Busted. - Busted?
抓什么现行 For what?
可当时还有很多学生在啤酒节上啊 But there were dozens of students at that Oktoberfest
但你们是唯三的德国学生 But you were the only German students
庆祝德国文化 celebrating German culture,
在格林德尔 这个是大大滴不可以 and here at Greendale, that is a big, fat no-no.
我们拒绝任何人庆祝自己的文化遗产 We frown on anyone celebrating their own cultural heritage.
如果哈西德派[犹太教]的学生会想要 I mean, if the Hasidic student union wants
庆祝宽扎节[非洲] 没问题 小犹太 to host a Kwanzaa celebration, you go, jews!
光明节 绝对不行 Hanukkah? No, sir.
所以我们才会保留学生 It's why I keep a detailed list
详尽的种族 国籍资料 of every student's race and nationality--
以防止种族主义和民族主义 to prevent racism and nationalism.
-太扯犊子了 -放轻松 - This is an outrage! - Relax.
又不是把你们开除了 It's not like you're expelled.
你们只是不能在某些校园范围活动了 You're just banned from certain campus amenities,
喷泉啊 游泳池啊 Uh, water fountains, swimming pools--huh.
大多都跟水有关 Most of these are water-based.
还有自习室 Oh, and the study rooms.
我得接电话 拜拜 Oh, I gotta take this. Bye-bye.
派尔顿院长 如果我不给你收据 Dean Pelton-- if I don't offer you a receipt,
你的教育就是免费的 your education is free.
昌干了什么 Chang did what?
我们是格林德尔的99%
没有正义就没有鸡鸡
酷 Oh, cool.
-你们在反对什么 -你们 - What are we protesting? - You guys.
你们霸占自习室三年了 You've been hogging that study room for three years.
终于有人站了起来 Somebody finally stood up to you,
你们却使他们被禁了 and you had them banned.
为什么我们总是做受害者 Why must our people always be the victims?
-我们要什么 -正义 - What do we want? - Justice!
-什么时候要 -现在 - When do we want it? - Now!
-我们要什么 -正义 - What do we want? - Justice!
-天啊 -什么时候要 - Oh, my God. - When do we want it?
-现在 -一直以来 - Now! - This whole time,
我们以为德国佬是德国佬 we thought the Germans were the Germans.
到头来 我们是德国佬 But it turns out, we're the germans.
等等 你们跟德国佬一伙了 Hang on. You guys are siding with the Germans?
你们知道他们是 You realize these guys are, like,
承包商级别的白痴是吧 contractor-grade tools.
他们登记使用自习室合情合理 They signed out that room fair and square,
结果你们非要搞邪门歪道 and then you had to take it too far,
就像你们一贯的霸道样子 like you always do with that room.
年
该死 Damn it!
我可是登记了 I signed this room out!
我明天有期末考 And I have a final tomorrow!
他们丢了一支笔 They lost a pen.
年
你能过几个小时再来吗 Can you come back in a few hours?
我们在玩"龙与地下城" We're playing Dungeons and Dragons.
时间不确定
-咋了 -我笔记本忘拿走了 - Yes? - I left my notebook in there.
你回头再来吧 Well, you're going to have to come back later.
我正在发表演说 I'm trying to prove a point.
你们就像《霍根英雄》里的家伙 You're like those guys on Hogan's Heroes.
你们就是纳粹 The Nazis.
你把这话收回去 You take that back!
人家可是犹太人 I'm Jewish.
没错 伦纳德 别叫我纳粹 Yeah, Leonard. Don't call me a Nazi.
你不正穿着SS的衬衫么 You are wearing an S.S. T-shirt.
SS为纳粹党卫军缩写
二号牢房开门 Open two.
你来干什么 What are you doing here?
先生您被保释了 You, sir, have been bailed out.
我们要护理您直到康复 We are going to nurse you back to health.
为什么 But why?
我对你做过那么多坏事 为什么还收留我 Why take me back in after everything I did to you?
当我听说你来自首了 When I heard that you had checked yourself into jail,
我就知道你不可能是假装的 I realized you couldn't be faking.
真正的昌向来不知悔改 The real Chang would never have remorse for what he did.
我相信你 I believe you...
凯文 Kevin.
而且治愈昌癔症对全人类都是好事 Plus, curing Changnesia, that's a human interest story.
能给格林德尔提升地位 that puts Greendale on the map.
但你的健康是次要的 But your health comes second,
不对 是首要的 对学校来说 whoop, first, to the school.
拥抱就省了吧 能帮忙捡下... Oh, let's not hug. Do you mind getting my--
好吧 Okay.
那也不用踩一脚吧 Probably shouldn't step on it.
我吃着蛋糕都觉得罪恶 I feel guilty eating this cake.
不是因为会破坏身材 And not for the usual reasons.
我并不想说 但这就是集体盲目追随 Hate to say it, but this is what happens when a group of people
一个富有魅力 能言善辩的领导者的下场 blindly follows a charismatic, golden-throated leader.
你在把我比作希特勒吗 Are you actually comparing me to Hitler?
确实有共同点嘛 There are similarities.
等等 怎么没人想过 Hang on. Nobody's even willing to
把我比作小组中的希特勒呢 consider that I might be the Hitler of this group?
我们都是好人 We were the good guys.
为什么大家都觉得我们是坏人 How could everybody think we're the bad guys?
本来就是 We are.
当卡尔和我突袭"钻石北洞"时 When Karl and I were raiding the Diamond North caves,
我面临50场生死搏斗 I was facing 50 death beatles.
我本来早就完了 但他救了我 I would've perished for sure, but he saved me.
但当我有机会还他人情时 Then when I had a chance to return the favor,
我看着他的眼睛告诉他 蛋糕是真的 I looked him in the eye, and I told him it was solid cake.
你只是在执行命令 You were just following orders.
也许还有办法弥补他 There's probably a way I can make it up to him.
我可以把我的四尖三叉戟给他 Maybe I'll give him my four-pronged trident.
干嘛不直接叫它四叉戟 Why don't you call it a "Quadrident"?
你们在这里啊 There you people are.
我相信我们有事要谈 I believe we have something to discuss.
我勒个去 Oh, my God.
你个狡猾的英国混蛋 You clever British bastard.
你安排这一切来给我们一个教训 You set this whole thing up to teach us a lesson.
-什么 -让整个学校假装讨厌我们 - What? - Making the school pretend to hate us,
来告诉我们一方的英雄 to show us that one man's hero
就是另一方的坏蛋 is another man's villain.
原来如此 我们不是纳粹 Of course! We aren't Nazis.
我向您脱帽致敬 先生 I tip my cap to you, sir.
受教了 Lesson learned.
你不会真相信 Are you actually suggesting
格林德尔的教授 that a professor at Greendale
会精心编排一场闹剧 would set up an elaborate ruse
就为给七个学生上一堂课 just to teach seven students a lesson?
-当然 -绝对的 - Uh, yes. - Yeah.
-没错 -太正常了 - Yes. - That's a Wednesday.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
我来这真是大错特错 I've made a terrible mistake coming here.
难道这不是一堂课吗 So this wasn't part of the class?
那你来干嘛 Then why are you here?
因为今天本来有测试 Because you had a test today,
但你们都缺席了 and you all missed it!
全部不及格 "F"s for everyone.
也许现在撕毁合同 Maybe it's not too late
还为时不晚 to get out of my contract.
-我还真是希特勒 -没错 - I really am Hitler. - Yeah.
就这么决定了是么 So it's just decided.
也不投个票啥的 No vote or anything.
我讨厌这样 I hate this.
真希望能有办法 I wish there was a way that we could
向人们弥补过错 make it up to people.
就是这个 That's it.
我们需要将功补过 We need to make reparations.
我们要有所回报 We have to start giving back.
格林德尔给了我们很多 Because Greendale has given us so much.
它给了我们一间自习室 It gave us the study room.
这间自习室成了我们的家 And that study room is our home.
但我们的家不止在这四壁之内 But our home is more than those four walls.
家人也不止我们七个而已 And our family is more than the seven of us.
牛奶
而是整个格林德尔 It's all of Greendale.
每个人都值得拥有我们所拥有的 And everyone deserves to have what we have.
谁能想到呢 What do you know?
格林德尔还真变好了一点点 Greendale just got slightly better.
回来真好 It's good to be back.
我们要不要去斯基普酒吧庆祝一下 Should we go celebrate at Skeeper's?
拜托了雪瑞 我们都有自己的生活 Oh, come on, Shirley. We all have lives.
你们在这呀 There you are!
看到你们痛改前非我真骄傲 I am so proud how you stepped up and made amends.
大家也都原谅了你们 And everyone forgave you.
因为无论如何 Because when it comes right down to it,
格林德尔是个宽容之地 Greendale's a forgiving place.
还真是 It really is.
请将这点谨记20秒钟 Please keep that in mind the next 20 seconds.
因为人们是"昌变"的 Remember that people can "Chang".
人们是什么的 People can what?
大家好 我是凯文 Hi, I'm Kevin.
他得了昌癔症 He has Changnesia.
你知道这声音是什么 You know what that sound is.
特洛伊与阿布蒂广播 It's the Troy and Abed podcast.
由雪瑞三明治赞助 Sponsored by Shirley's sandwiches,
油炸鸡皮卷之家 home of the fried chicken skin wrap.
卷在里面还是外面 自己去发现吧 Is it inside? Is it outside? You find out.
今天的嘉宾来自欧洲德国 Okay, our guest today is from Germany, Europe.
卡尔 你好 最近好吗 Karl, guten tag. How are you doing?
-我很好 -棒极了 - Sehr gut. - Great.
现在我们要严肃起来了 Now's the part of the show where we get real.
友情 忠诚 背叛 悔过 Friendship, loyalty, betrayal, redemption.
-你们是在道歉吗 -是 - Is this an apology? - Yes.
作为今天节目的嘉宾 And for being a guest on the show today,
我们要送你件礼物 we want you to have this.
这是雪瑞三明治的礼品券 It's a gift certificate to Shirley's sandwiches,
油炸基督山三明治之家 home of the triple-fried Monte Cristo.
想挑战极限 尝尝面包吧 We challenge you to taste the bread.
这不是优惠券 是五美元啊 This coupon is a $5 bill.
今天的节目就到这了 Well, that's all the time we have today.
和特洛伊·巴恩斯一起的阿布蒂·纳德尔 For Troy Barnes, I'm Abed Nadir.
和阿布蒂·纳德尔一起的特洛伊·巴恩斯 And for Abed Nadir, I'm Troy Barnes.
拜拜了您呐 And we're out.
谢谢你来上节目 Thanks so much for doing this.
你们明天会来我的节目吗 So will you be on my podcast tomorrow?
我们又不是没事做 We've got a thing.