节后见咯 Well...See you after the break.
你们感恩节有什么打算 What are you all doing for Thanksgiving?
安德鲁他们全家都要过来 I'm having Andre's whole family over, though he'll be
虽然他还要在音响店迎接"黑色星期五" stuck working at the stereo store for black Friday.
你可以这么说 Oh, sure, you get to say that,
但我们坚持称其为"犹太星期五" but we're stuck calling it "Jew Friday."
我和家人一起过 应付万年不变各种问话 Ugh, I'll be with my family, fielding the same old questions.
社区大学上得怎么样呀 "How's community college?"
你是学什么专业的呀 "What's your major?"
这两坨是真的咩 "Are those real?"
我姑姑的男友问的 My aunt's boyfriend.
我家是传统的宗教家庭 "Oh, my family's a normal religion,
我得跟他们迂磨上五分钟 "so I have to talk to them for five minutes
才能拿到全是棉花糖的砂锅 before I get a casserole that's all marshmallow."
这就是你 That's you.
对了 Brainstorm.
不如大家来我家好了 Why don't you all come over to my house?
我会做很多好吃的 I'll have plenty of food.
-那太好了 -棉花糖 - That would be great. - Marshmallows.
我觉得不错 Sounds good to me.
我本来准备做微波奶油面条 I was going to microwave buttered noodles,
但这个主意显得更有指望些 but this sounds equally promising.
-我也去 -太好了 - I'm in. - Oh, goody.
要知道 欢迎你们都过来 Well, you know, you're all welcome, of course.
-我也去 -还有杰夫谁的也可以 - I'm in. - Or, you know, Jeff or whoever.
不去 有事 Can't. Plans.
如果你到时改主意的话 Well, if you change your mind,
我绝对会无比欢迎你的到来 I can't think of anyone who would enjoy having you more.
别来无"院" 清教徒们 How-dean, pilgrims.
-这是 -约翰·韦恩 - Is that... - John Wayne, yes.
以演西部片著称的好莱坞明星
真好 你猜对了 Oh, good, you got it.
总之 我觉得应该溜达溜达着来这边 Anyhoo, I just thought I'd mosey on over here,
邀请大家参加格林德尔 invite you all to Greendale's
一年一度的感生节聚餐会 annual Thanks-living potluck dinner,
以铭记所有我们需要感恩的一切 where we remember all we have to be thankful for.
似乎有项统计把格林德尔的 There may be a statistical link to
招生率和节假自杀率联系上了 enrollment at Greendale and holiday suicide.
就是个轻松愉快 Just a shoelace-
肆无忌惮的欢乐夜 and belt-free night full of fun.
你们都应该过来 You should all drop by.
杰夫啦 别的谁啦 Or Jeff. Or whoever.
他去不了 他有事 Oh, he can't. He has plans.
对哦 Oh, right,
你要和你父亲一起共度感恩节 you are spending Thanksgiving with your father.
我之前告诉过你了别再偷看我电邮 I thought I told you to stop reading my email.
我也告诉过你别再隐藏秘密 Yeah, well, I thought I told you to stop keeping secrets.
要是你肯跟我交交心 How am I supposed to keep track
我用得着整天费劲追踪吗 of what you tell me in confidence
也不用耳朵贴杯子 杯子扣着你家墙 and what I hear through your walls
才能偷听到那些事情了 with a glass to my ear?
行了 把嘴都合上吧 Fine. Close your mouths.
我要和我疏远已久的父亲共度感恩节 I'm having Thanksgiving with my estranged father.
能继续下一个话题了吗 Can we move on now?
说得通啊 Makes sense.
杰夫目前正处于人生中的转折点 Jeff's at a point in his life
需要一位强大的父亲给他指条明路 where he needs a strong father figure to come out to.
杰夫 这可是件大新闻 Jeff, this is huge news.
天大的新闻 Huger news.
你是在咱俩万圣节谈心之后做的决定吗 Was this decision made after our Halloween conversation?
是的 是之后 不是之所以 Yes, after. Not because of.
我就当你承认了 I'll take it.
这你都准备好了? You had that teed up?
我说"治疗" 你说"大师" When I say "Thera," You say "Pist."
治疗 Thera--
-大师 -治疗 - Pist. - Thera--
感谢大家的支持 Thanks for the support, guys.
咱们的支持才刚刚开始 Oh, the support has just begun.
你觉得我去翁格爸爸家里带什么好 What do you want me to bring to Papa Winger's house,
素食南瓜派好吗 some vegan pumpkin pie?
布雷塔 你不能去 Britta, you're not coming.
好吧 那就普通南瓜派 Fine, regular pumpkin pie.
杰夫 在场面一塌糊涂 Jeff, you're going to need me
情绪激动的时候 你会需要到我的 when things get messy and emotional.
唯一能一塌糊涂和情绪激动的人 The only thing that's going to get messy and emotional
应该是特洛伊 等他发现棉花糖下面 is Troy, when he realizes there are yams
其实填满了洋芋时 肯定会崩溃 underneath those marshmallows.
我就知道太美好的事情肯定不是真的 I knew it was too good to be true.
杰夫 我不仅仅是以你朋友的身份 Jeff, speaking not just as your friend
也是以一名日间电视节目迷 but as an avid daytime TV watcher,
这种父子团聚的场面很容易变得太激动 these parent-child reunions can get intense.
椅子扔得满天飞 Chairs might be thrown.
衣服扯得稀碎 Weaves might be pulled.
我也可以只需走进门 Or I could just go in there,
让他看看我有多优秀 没靠他一丝帮助 show him how awesome I am, no thanks to him,
再见一下我同父异母的弟弟 meet my half-brother...
然后 砰 就此了结 And then, boom. Closure.
你爸爸还有个儿子 Your dad has another son?
是啊 很显然 他都开始新生活了 Yeah. So, clearly, he's moved on.
为什么我不可以 闭上你们的嘴 Why can't I? Close your mouths.
听着 我很感谢你的关心 Look, I appreciate your concern,
但说真的 你能做的最有帮助的事 but really, the most helpful thing you can do
就是别管我的闲事 is stay out of my business.
你能把最后一句话再讲一遍吗 Oh, can you say that last part again?
这些墙真是太厚了 These walls are entirely too thick.
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人人影视 YYeTs.com
原创翻译 双语字幕
翻译：夕橙 米粒
翻译：大卫熊 废咔柴
时间轴：加森
校对：「周一清晨」·橙新宠
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
《废柴联盟》 第四季第五集
巴克山
感恩节快乐 各位 Oh! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone.
[非裔美国人常用 傻瓜的意思]
赶紧切开那傻火鸡 Let's carve that jive turkey!
-把这种词给我屏蔽掉 -哦 - Got that out of your system? - Yeah.
很高兴大家来做客 欢迎你们 Then I'm so happy to welcome you all to my home.
-谢谢 -快请进吧 - Oh, thank you. - Hello, come in.
把外套脱了吧 大家随意就好 Take your coats off. Make yourself comfortable.
随意浏览一下关于 Browse the available literature
接受耶稣基督成为个人救世主的小册子 about Jesus Christ as your personal savior.
不看也行 没别的意思 Or not. No agenda.
拜托你赶紧寒暄完好吗 Are you going to pass some apps soon,
还是说要我活活饿死以证明我饿得要死 or do I have to die of starvation to prove a point?
跟大家介绍一下 Oh, everybody,
这位是伯纳德先生 我公公 This is Mr. Bennett, my father-in-law.
爸 这是我大学同学 Dad, these are my friends from college.
对 这就是安德鲁的家人啦 Oh, yeah. That's Andre's people.
个个都特别爱演 They're a bunch of characters.
真幽默 爸爸 That's a good one, dad.
我带了些菜 Oh, I brought something.
蘸酱 Dip.
阿布蒂 这个七层蘸酱怎么这么暄腾 Oh, Abed, why is this seven layer dip so puffy?
因为已经在冰箱里放了两年了 Oh, it's been in the fridge for two years.
我为了一个特别的时刻而存的 I was saving it for a special occasion.
你真是太周到了 Oh, that's so thoughtful.
我会把这些放到一个漂亮盘子上 I'm going to put this on a nice platter
盘子里摆着垃圾桶里的咸饼干 with some crackers in the trash.
布雷塔呢 Where's Britta?
喂 杰夫 情况如何 Hey, Jeff. What's up?
情况就是已经了结了 What's up is closure.
见了我爸 我俩很爷们地把事儿都说开了 I met my dad, we talked things out as men.
我觉得我已经准备好开始新生活了 I think I'm ready to move on.
是吗 才20分钟就搞定啦 Really, in 20 minutes?
好吧 我办不到 Fine. Look, I couldn't do it.
我当时站在门口 挺有把握的 I was at the front door, totally in control,
然后我就开始回想你说的 and then I started thinking about all that stuff
那些崩溃场景 you said about messiness,
然后我就吓跑了 and it threw me off my game.
你知道讽刺的是 You know, the irony is,
你一直缠着我让我跟我爸消除隔阂 after all your pestering that I deal with my daddy issues,
结果到头来 我却因为你而不敢见我爸 You're the reason I'm not meeting my father.
也许正因为我 你才会到这里来 Or maybe I'm the reason you'll come here after all.
布雷塔 Britta, I--
等一下 "这里"是什么意思 Wait. What do you mean by "Here"?
你爸爸家 Your dad's house,
我似乎 好像 在这里 where I kind of, sort of, am.
好 谢你了 莎朗 Yeah, thanks, Sharon.
我以前都没这么想过 I never thought about it that way.
蝙蝠侠是有点基 Batman is sort of gay.
马上回来 Be right back.
怎么回事 What is going on?
感恩节怎么这么可怕 Why is Thanksgiving so terrible?
就是 I know.
争来争去 背后说人坏话 对人评头论足 The tension, the backbiting, the judgmental comments.
跟这比起来 我家过感恩节简直是 This makes Thanksgiving with my family look--
好吧 还是不怎么样 Eh, still pretty bad.
我居然说蝙蝠侠基情 I said batman was gay.
不就问她是不是泰勒·佩里变装的嘛 You ask one lady if she's Tyler Perry in drag,
泰勒·佩里: 黑人男演员 经常变装出演
我哪儿不对了 and suddenly, you're the bad guy.
那叫引经据典 爷的专属幽默 It's a reference. That's my humor.
阿布蒂就懂 Abed gets it.
原来你们藏在这里啊 Oh, you're all hiding out in here.
我们没藏 你了解的 就是走开一下 We're not hiding. You know us, kind of get away.
注意一点哦 Well, be careful.
你们这样会让我以为 You might be giving the impression
你们宁可待在冰冷的车库里 that you prefer the cold garage
也不愿享受我热情的招待 to the warm heart of my hospitality.
什么 不可能 What? As if.
好吧 快上来吧 Okay. Well, hurry back soon.
这简直是断头饭 This is the Jonestown of Dinners.
我有种进监狱的感觉 I feel like I'm in jail.
你也知道像我这样进了监狱会多惨 And you know what happens to guys like me in jail.
那帮人那么喜欢俯卧撑 They get really into push-ups,
可是我对自己上身肌肉够满意了 And I am fine with my upper body the way it is!
这确实像个牢笼 It did feel like a prison,
所以理论上我们只有一条出路 And that meant only one thing made sense, conceptually.
只能越狱 We had to break out.
作为有着跟摩根·弗里曼一般庄严面相的我 And someone with the gravitas of Morgan Freeman
就要担起旁白的重任 had to narrate it.
我们得越狱 We need to do a prison break.
感恩节快乐 Happy Thanksgiving?
你怎么那么多管闲事 You really "You'd" this one, huh?
好吧 背着你瞎搅和的是我 Okay, yes, I meddled against your wishes,
从院长那里搞来了地址也是我 And yes, I got this address from the dean,
但你看 But hey.
你当时一迟疑 You had a moment of doubt,
立马伸出援手的也是我嘛 And here I am to help you through it.
心理学上说 万事皆有因 意外不存在 Psychology tells us there are no accidents.
是吗 Oh, really?
那车祸呢 塔拉·雷德这种存在呢 What about car accidents, Tara Reid,
《美国派》中的性感女星 酒驾出了车祸
"兴登堡"号又算啥 Or the Hindenburg?
德国飞艇 1937年坠毁
算了 豁出去了 Here goes nothing.
你好 威廉姆 Hello, William.
那么 丑话先说在前头吧 So, uh how about we make some ground rules?
好主意 Actually, that sounds good.
好吧 别抱我 Okay. No hugs.
我也不想抱 也别道歉 Wouldn't want one. No apologies.
我也不打算接受 不会叫你爸 Wouldn't accept one. No calling you "Dad."
-也别指望什么 -别说废话 - No expectations. - No BS.
-喝点什么 -苏格兰威士忌 - Drink? - Scotch.
-十八年的 -纯的 - 18? - Neat.
我只想说一下 I just want to acknowledge
大家现在肯定心潮澎湃 that there are a lot of emotions flowing right now,
你俩小心脏也一定砰砰直跳 and you two are probably feeling a strong impulse
想要共度今宵 to sleep with each other,
这也很正常 And hey, that's normal.
我去拿酒 I'll get the drinks.
你看这样怎么样 不争不吵无烦恼 So, how about that? No muss, no fuss.
杰夫 我劝你不要逃避争争吵吵 Jeff, I urge you not to run from the muss and fuss.
你就是我同父异母的弟弟吧 You must be my half-brother.
你的手比我的大好多 Oh, your hands are so much bigger than mine.
你的指甲好漂亮 Your nail beds are perfect.
我接受不了 接受不了 I can't do it. I can't.
老天 Oh, God.
要出来了 Oh, it's coming up.
我一紧张就想吐 When I get upset, I vomit.
看来你已经见过小威利了 Oh, I see you've met Willy Junior.
你说过不会让他把我挤走的 You said he wasn't going to replace me.
他是施瓦辛格 我就是德维托 He's the Schwarzenegger. I'm the Devito.
德维托 喜剧演员
我懂的 I get it.
好了 各位 言归正传吧 Okay, fellas, let's get right into it.
我想现在各位心中都有一个大谜团那就是 I think the big question on everyone's mind is
我为啥不去抚慰一下小威利呢 Why don't I go help Willy Junior? Hmm?
对我和我的同伴来说 有一件事是肯定的 One thing was clear to me and the rest of the crew.
伯纳德监狱不是我们的归宿 Bennett lockup was not where we belonged.
我们理应站在阳光下 感受着微风拂过发梢 We belonged in the sun, with the wind in our hair,
或是坐在贝纳根餐厅 吃着火鸡椒盐圈 or maybe at a Bennigan's, enjoying a turkey o'toole.
我们挖地道吧 We should tunnel out.
阿布蒂 雪瑞是我们的朋友 Abed, Shirley is our friend,
我们是在做客的 and we're guests in her home.
得想个不会伤她心的办法 We need a plan that won't hurt her feelings,
也不能破坏她的房子 or damage her property.
那就千万别往海报后面看 Definitely don't look behind that poster, then.
我可以假装中风 I could pretend to have a stroke.
然后嘟囔着外语 Do a gibberish foreign language.
我嘟囔星战里面那种语言怎么样 What if I did a gibberish foreign language like star wars?
我猜你肯定喜欢 混蛋 You'd like that, I bet. Dick.
肯定有办法逃出去的 Look, I'm sure we'll figure out a way out of here.
现在最重要的就是团结 What's important right now is that we stick together.
你们在这里啊 Yeah. Oh, there you are.
有谁想来点餐前点心吗 Who wants a pre-dinner snack?
小南瓜 怎么了 Oh, pumpkin, what's wrong?
好尴尬 Oh, it's too embarrassing
居然要在你们面前说这个 To talk about in front of the guys,
你懂我意思了吧 姐们 know what I mean, girlfriend?
甜心 Oh, sweetie.
你是来大姨妈了吗 Do you have your monthly shame?
要去伊莱贾房间里躺一下吗 Do you want to lie down in Elijah's room?
估计没什么用 Oh, I don't think that's going to cut it.
我可能要回去找科林斯医生了 I probably need to go home and call Dr. Collins.
很严重的 It's that bad.
其实吧 Oh, well, you know,
我小姑子就是妇科医生 My sister-in-law's a gynecologist,
她就在里边呢 and she's right in the other room.
就不用大过节的去找你的医生了 There's no need to bother your doctor on a holiday.
来吧 Go ahead. Mm-hmm.
我也想粉饰太平地告诉大家 I'd like to tell you Annie avoided
说安妮躲过了雪瑞的医生小姑子 Shirley's doctor sister-in-law,
但这不是童话故事 but this ain't no fairy tale.
这是感恩节 This is Thanksgiving.
我想想还有什么 Let's see, what else?
你会有糖尿病 我妈那边传下来的 You've got some diabetes, on my mother's side.
谢谢告知 Good to know.
我喜欢你的头发 I like your hair.
我是说 你还有头发这一点 The presence of it, I mean.
我还有个问题 So I have a question,
这个问题困扰了我很久 And it's been weighing on me pretty heavily.
你这个年纪 房事 At your age, in the bedroom--
有 非常好 Oh, yeah. It's all good.
很和谐 Yeah? Real good.
看他们 父子情深 Look at them. Bonding.
估计在笑我长不出胡子呢 Probably laughing 'cause I can't grow a beard.
我有个主意 I have an idea.
不如我们用这些小面包 Why don't we use these dinner rolls
来玩角色"包"演吧 to do some "Roll" Play?
双关不错哦 I see what I did there.
好吧 Okay.
这个小面包 就是我 This roll, this is me.
他在哭 He's crying.
很好 这很好 Good. That's really good.
你做什么工作 So, uh, what do you do?
我是一个伪造了学士学位文凭的律师 I'm a lawyer who faked a bachelor's degree
干了七年律师之后 and practiced law for seven years
才被发现 before I got caught.
我喜欢你的风格 I like your hustle.
让我想起在圣特鲁佩斯的那年 我假扮成 Reminds me of the summer I was Ralph Lauren
拉尔夫·劳伦[服装设计师] out in St. Tropez.
那是83年 我在船上和... '83, I'm on a boat with, uh--
该死 威利 Damn it, Willy!
-我在表达情绪 -消停点 - I'm expressing. - Knock it off.
你就不能像别人一样把那玩意咽下去吗 Why can't you just swallow it, like any normal person?
对啊 就像你的新儿子 Oh! Oh, right. Like your new son.
像...像....衬衫很那什么先生... Like mister-mister I've got my shirt--
我对你的个人特点不是很熟悉 I don't know a lot of personal details about you yet.
我叫杰夫 Well, my name's Jeff.
别帮我 帮忙先生 Don't help me, Mister helper guy.
先是妈妈去世 现在又多了个哥哥 First mom dies, now this?
她20年前就死了 威利 Hey, she died 20 years ago, Willy.
他整天动不动就老调重弹 He keeps singing the same old song.
她竟然比你先死了 Wow. She died on you.
我还以为你成了年度最佳父亲了呢 Here I thought you'd become father of the year,
可你却被困在了这 but you just got stuck.
是啊 用不着我来告诉你 Yeah, well, look, I don't have to tell you
我是个不会照顾人的父亲 I'm not a natural caretaker,
但是抚养威利 我尽力了 but with Willy, you know, I-I checked all the boxes,
可他还是软得像一滩稀泥 and he still turned out softer than wet cheese.
我不明白 I don't get it.
他总是说下周就搬出去 He keeps saying he's going to move out next week,
都说了十年了 since '03.
我等不及搬出家 Oh, man, I couldn't wait to get out.
18岁时 我就有自己的住处了 I got my own place when I was 18.
我也是 I was the same way.
准备好开饭了吗 So who's ready to eat?
杰夫 你愿意切火鸡吗 Jeff, you care to carve the turkey?
我就知道 I knew it!
你更爱他多过爱我 You love him more than me.
看我的 我离家出走 I'll show you. I'll run away.
出啊 走啊 我求你了 Oh, please. Hey, be my guest.
你一走 我今晚肯定睡得香 You run away, and I'm going to sleep like a baby tonight.
抱歉 让你们看到这一幕 Oh, now, I'm sorry you guys had to see that,
或许你能给他治治病 but maybe you could shrink his head,
反正你是带着那啥...使命来的 since you're here for some reason.
是的 我可以 Yes. I can do this.
用小面包告诉我 你哪里痛 Show me on the dinner roll where you're hurt!
整个下午就是那样度过的 And that's how it went for the afternoon.
"组队应战感恩节"成了我们的例行公事 This Tag Team Turkey Day became our routine.
我们尽可能地忍受他们的无礼 We endured the indignities as best we could.
表亲打架 抱怨食物 Cousins fighting, complaints about the food,
忍受小侄子模仿了 listening to a nephew do Borat for a full hour.
整整一小时的波拉特[电影角色] listening to a nephew do Borat for a full hour.
我们时不时地想方设法脱身 We figured out ways to steal away from time to time,
内急啊 拿冰啊 Saying we had to pee, had to get ice,
去别的屋犹太一下什么的 had to do a jewish thing in the other room.
我成了那个在监狱里提供物品的人 I became known as the guy who could get you things.
口香糖 扑克 Piece of gum, playing cards,
一副在写着"垃圾"的箱中找到的搞笑眼镜 some novelty glasses I found in a box marked "Crap."
在这短暂时间里 我们又有了做人的感觉 In those brief, tranquil moments, we felt human.
感到了自由 We felt free.
但迟早 典狱长会来敲门 But sooner or later, our warden would come knocking.
大多时候 我们安静地服刑 Mostly, we just waited for our time to be served,
但有些人没这个耐心 but some didn't take kindly to waiting.
有些人没时间了 Some didn't have much time left.
够了 该整点实际的了 Enough. Amateur hour is over.
我要冲进去 假装摔坏屁股 I'm going in there, pretend to break a hip,
之后咱就去"斯基普"痛饮甜酒 妥妥的 and we'll be sipping sambuca at Skeepers in no time.
他被地毯绊倒了 Whoa. He tripped on the rug.
等下 他站起来了 Wait, now he's getting up.
他跌跌撞撞地到处乱走 好像撞到头一样 He's walking around dazed like he's got a head injury.
裆部正中桌子角 Oh, groin into the corner of the table.
他有可能成功 This might actually work.
等等 为什么他们在笑 Wait, wait, why are people laughing?
我想想 我要扫帚 耙子 俩耙子 Let's see, I need a broom, a rake, or two rakes--
皮尔斯 你应该假装自己受伤 Pierce, you were supposed to pretend to injure yourself
好让我们脱身 so we could leave.
脱身 Leave?
这是我在阿波罗剧院的表演时间 This is my showtime at the Apollo.
他们可喜欢我了 I'm killing out there.
皮尔斯是我们最后的希望 或我们以为是 Pierce was our last hope, or so we thought.
不过看样子特洛伊·巴恩斯有了主意 It seemed Troy Barnes had a plan.
如果我们病了呢 What if we got sick?
不 别假装得病了 No. No more faking illnesses.
不是假的 真的病 Not fake sick. Real sick.
那时我就跟老东家事务所说老子不干了 And that's when I told my old firm to shove it.
反正我一直都是自由人 I've always been more of a free agent, anyway.
我看得出来 Yeah, I can see that about you.
你是个自生自立的人 You seem like a self-made man.
生活所迫 Well, I kind of had to be.
如果可以 我想打破一条规矩 Look, if it's okay with you, I'd like to break a rule.
我知道我们说好"不整伤感事" I know we said "No mushy stuff,"
但我还是想说 我为你感到骄傲 but for what it's worth, I'm proud of you.
谢谢 Thanks.
也让我感慨万分 Makes you think.
等下 你啥意思 Wait, what do you mean?
你也看到 威利长成了什么样 Well, look, I mean, you've seen how Willy turned out.
我从未给那个孩子带来任何帮助 I mean, I haven't done that kid any favors.
我看到了你 And so I look at you,
自力更生 善于交际 so self-reliant and well-adjusted,
我想我也许做对了什么 and I think maybe I did something right.
你做对了什么 You did something right?
我们换个方式表达吧 Well, let me say that different.
宇宙是个不停在... Uh, the universe is a constantly expanding--
打住 Stop.
你一激动我理解 但是那没用 I get the impulse, but that's not going to work here.
不 我只是说 No, I just mean that, uh,
我们因为有所经历才成为现在的自己 we are defined by what happens to us,
我的离开似乎让你变得独立 and me leaving seems to have made you independent,
使你坚强 Made you strong.
恕我直言 相当直 With all due respect, which is none,
滚犊子 Go to hell.
挖地道出去不可行吗 So tunneling out is off the table?
谁想吃火鸡 Who's hungry for turkey?
雪莉 我们 Shirley, we were just--
要 About to--
吃过期蘸酱 Eat garbage dip.
为啥让我最后一个说啊 Why did I have to go third?
我知道 你们想走 Look, I get it. You want to leave.
雪莉 很抱歉 Shirley, we're sorry.
是我不对 No, I'm sorry.
说实话 我请你们来是为我打气 To be honest, I invited you as a bit of a buffer.
安德烈家人总把我当成他们的笑柄 With Andre's family, I'm always the butt of the joke,
安德烈今年不在 and with Andre gone this year,
我之前想着 我可以找来朋友 I thought I could tip the scales in my favor
给我壮壮声势 打打气 by having a few friends around.
这样做不对 That was wrong of me.
周一见 See you Monday.
真不敢相信 I can't believe none of us noticed
我们谁都没发现她很难过 she was having such a hard time.
我们不能走 We can't leave.
监狱最有趣的是 Funny thing about prison.
那个你以为是典狱长的人 Sometimes the person you thought was your warden
其实是个狱友 turns out to be a fellow prisoner,
不过这样的话 which doesn't really line up
又跟《肖申克的救赎》的梗连不上 with the whole Shawshank thing,
但也有可能是因为剧情走向 but maybe we've always been doing
更像是《越狱》 more of a Prison Break.
那部美剧 The show.
你在我车里干嘛 Whoa, what are you doing in my car?!
带我走吧 Take me with you.
把你知道的都教给我 Teach me what you know.
见鬼了 这到底是唱的哪一出 What in the cat's cradle is happening?
爸爸讨厌我 Dad hates me.
你干嘛在乎那个男人的想法 What do you care what that guy thinks?
他是个混蛋 He's a dick.
瞧 这就是我需要学的 See, that's what I need to learn!
如何变成一具肌肉健美的行尸走肉 How to be all dead inside with muscles on top,
而不是又胖又弱渣 not all emotional and flabby.
可你本来就很情绪外露啊 Yeah, but you are emotional.
如果你假装自己没情绪 And if you pretend you're not,
只能让他趁机洗脱 you're only letting him off the hook
坏父亲的恶名 for being a terrible father,
他一直都是个坏父亲 which he is and always has been.
他对你来说是全世界 I mean, he meant the world to you,
你对他却不值一提 and you meant nothing to him.
如果你现在出走 他就永远不会知道了 And if you run away now, he'll never know.
他应该知道 He should know.
布雷塔你个烂人 Britta's the worst.
天啊 Ow! Jeez.
我以为你们都走了 Oh. I thought you guys left.
我们一开始是想支持你的 We started as your buffer,
但现在我们要救你出去的 but we're busting you out of here now.
我在肚子上画了你家的地图 I drew a map of your house on my stomach.
我知道我家什么样子 Uh, I know what my house looks like.
我就说嘛 That's what I said.
如果我们迅速行动 还可以完成计划 Look, if we act fast, we can get through this plan,
把你装进垃圾箱 which is to put you in the trash can,
偷偷运出去 take you out like trash,
但你必须穿上婴儿服 but we got to dress you like a baby.
我很感谢你们所做的一切 Thank you so much for doing this,
但我不会离开的 but I'm not going anywhere.
楼上那些人也许无理又烦人 Those people up there, they may be rude, they may be pushy,
也许对蝙蝠侠和罗宾逊的理解 they may have come to some wrongheaded conclusions
非常错误 about Batman and Robin...
太感谢了 Oh, thank you.
但他们是我家人 But they're my family,
家人必须团结一致 and family means putting up with each other
哪怕困境重重 even when it's hard.
你们可以走 我没事的 You guys can go. I'll be fine.
事实上 我们也要留下来 Actually, we're going to stay.
没错 Yeah.
家人总是团结一致 Family sticks it out.
这真美... That's ni--
好吧 说实话好了 Okay, full disclosure.
我们在躲那个疯狂的白人 We're hiding out from that crazy white guy.
你回来了 You came back!
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
我变成现在这样确实有你一部分功劳 You should take some credit for who I've become.
好吧 Okay.
让我告诉你我长成了什么样 So, let me tell you how I turned out,
好让你清楚你对我的影响 just so you're crystal clear on your impact.
我根本不善于交际 I am not well-adjusted.
在大多数时候 我很难坚持下去 More often than not, I am barely keeping it together.
我总是发短信 I'm constantly texting,
但其实收信人是空号 and there's no one at the other end.
我是个成年人 I'm just a grown man
却不敢看着我朋友的眼睛太久 who can't even look his own friends in the eye for too long
因为我怕他们会发现 because I'm afraid that they'll see
我的崩溃 that I am broken.
这些都是你的功劳 So you get credit for that.
拜托 Oh, come on, now--
有一次 在我七年级时 One time, when I was in seventh grade,
我告诉同学们我做了阑尾炎手术 I told everybody at school that I had appendicitis.
我想得到一些关心 I wanted someone to worry about me.
但当贝丝·布赖农要看刀疤时 But when Beth Brannon asked to see the scar,
我不想被戳穿 I didn't want to get found out,
所以我拿妈妈的剪子捅了个刀疤出来 so I took mom's scissors, and I made one.
疼得要命 但很值得 It hurt like hell, but it was worth it.
因为我收到17张贺卡 Because I got 17 cards,
我现在还留着 就放在我床下的盒子里 and I still keep them in a box underneath my bed
留了22年 22 years later
因为那证明 曾经有人 because it proves that someone,
在某个时刻 关心过我 at some point, cared about me.
你想看那刀疤吗 You want to see the scar?
这也是你的功劳 So you get credit for that, too.
这就是我 This is me.
听着 杰夫 我... Look, Jeff, I, uh...
爸爸 Daddy!
你假装心脏病发么 Are you faking a heart attack?
算是孤注一掷吧 Kind of a Hail Mary.
感恩节快乐 爸 Happy Thanksgiving, dad.
听着 你现在可能有强烈的欲望 Look, you're probably feeling a very strong urge
想跟我滚床单 to sleep with me right now,
这很正常 and that is normal.
切 Sha.
布雷塔 谢谢 Britta, thank you.
你是对的 You were right.
你不会又想放80年代舞曲给我听吧 You're not going to get all "Jock Jams" on me, are you?
当然不是 No, of course not.
我把音响放在学校了 I left my boom box at school.
天啊 Oh. Jeez.
你别再这么吓人了好么 You got to stop doing that.
谢谢你 过来抱抱 老哥 Thank you. Come here, brother.
过来抱抱 老哥 Come here, brother.
留点劲等着圣诞节再抱吧 Wow. Why don't you save some for Christmas, buddy, okay?
然后皮尔斯没演黑人 而演了个白人 And then Pierce did whiteface over blackface.
大家都觉得无聊死了 No one was amused.
这是暗喻啦 阿布蒂懂的 It's meta. Abed gets it.
特洛伊 你的第一个感恩节过得怎么样 So, Troy, how was your first real Thanksgiving?
不是说雪瑞不好啦 No offense to Shirley,
但我没觉得有啥新鲜的 but I don't see what the fuss is about.
感恩节是最差... Thanksgiving's the wors--
听说你们的感恩节比我的好不到哪去 I heard your Thanksgiving wasn't much better than mine,
所以我想也许应该花点时间 so I thought we could take some time
跟真正的家人一起感恩 and be grateful for our real family.
我们自己选择的家人 The one we chose.
-真漂亮 -坐啊 坐吧 - So pretty. - Sit, sit, sit.
我们的"肖申克救赎"致敬没做成 We never got to do a Shawshank homage,
至少不是以我预想的方式 not the way I wanted to.
也许最难越的监狱 Maybe the hardest prisons to break out of
是带着无形枷锁的牢笼 are the ones without locks.
等等 这不合常理 Wait, that doesn't make any sense.
今天过后 杰夫仿佛卸下了重担 After that day, Jeff seemed like a man unburdened.
他跟我也说了他和他父亲的会面 He told me about seeing his father again,
还说他当时离开时感觉就像 about how leaving there felt like breaking free
从囚困多年的情感牢笼中解脱一般 of an emotional prison he'd been in for years.
什么锁在他心灵的枷锁啥的 Something about shackles on his heart?
其实我也没仔细听 To be honest, I stopped listening.
我在惦记圣诞节 I was thinking about Christmas.
希望我们能致敬《虎胆龙威》 I hope we do Die Hard.
我希望是在餐厅里 I hope it's in a restaurant.
但愿能像我梦中那样进展得干脆利落 I hope it lays out as cleanly as it does in my dreams.
但愿会很酷 I hope it's cool.
酷酷酷 Cool, cool, cool.
-干杯 -干杯 - Cheers. - Cheers.
感恩节快乐 各位 包括你 院长 Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, including you, Dean.
雪瑞三明治
天啊 Oh, my.
这我可得记到明年再用 I'll have to remember this for next year.