然后在完季集里 And then in the season finale,
他们才揭示出这一切都是梦 they reveal the whole thing was a dream,
探长在这时醒了过来 when the inspector wakes up
身旁躺着年轻露乳的谢丽尔·提格丝 next to a very young and very topless Cheryl Tiegs.
[1947年出生的美国超模 常以性感姿态示人]
现在连皮尔斯都爱上这部剧了吗 Even Pierce loves this show now?
这不是《时空探长》 It's not Inspector Spacetime.
这只是美国版的 东施效颦 It's the American version, and it's a travesty.
空洞肤浅 性别歧视 而且时间线... It's broad, obvious, sexist, and the timing is...
亲 院长驾到 Honey, I'm dean!
你搞毛啊 What the hell is wrong with you?
杰夫瑞 你真过分 Oh, Jeffrey, you are too much.
我那天给房子大扫除时 Why, I was doing some house cleaning the other day...
走"甜院·里德"风哟 我突然意识到 "Deana Reed" Style... when I realized,
Donna Reed 上世纪50年代女星
"天呐 我们好久没举办过舞会了" "Gosh, golly, it's been ages since we had a dance."
所以 这周五我们要重回本校的黄金年代 So, this Friday we are going back to Greendale's golden age
举行曾经风靡一时的短袜舞会 with an old-fashioned sock hop!
参加者只穿短袜不穿鞋 50年代曾风靡一时
不过卫生部要求你们必须穿鞋 The health department requires you wear shoes.
"院分"呐 What a "Coincidean."
你举办舞会的那天正好 You're throwing a dance the same day
疾病防治中心要来查抄学校的饮水机 the CDC is confiscating our drinking fountains.
用娱乐活动安抚学生躁动 Placating students with a fun event.
典型的面包马戏笼络人心 Classic bread and circuses.
在古罗马 统治者会通过拨款 In ancient Rome, the emperor would distract the populace
分发免费面包 举行马戏表演 from their problems by allocating money
来转移民众对其面临问题的注意力 for free bread and circuses.
我一直在有意识地努力避免 I've been making a conscious effort to get away from
因沉溺电视而无视掉其它所有事 filtering everything through TV.
我觉得是时候变成熟些了 I figured it's time I showed some growth.
已经过了三季半 It's been three and a half seasons...
曾经的我就会这么说 is what the old me would have said.
不管怎样 这次是"莎蒂·霍金"舞会 Anyhoo, it is a Sadie Hawkins Dance,
-也就是说女生要邀请男生 -我就喜欢 - which means girls ask the boys. - Oh, I love those!
所以 美女们请在舞场大显身手吧 So, ladies, get out there and make yourselves useful.
你的意思是一年中有一天 So you're saying there's one day a year
女人可以自由选择她们的另一半 when women are free to choose their own mates.
这算什么 重回穴居人时期吗 What is this, cave-person times?
我反正已经开始准备"莎蒂·霍金"的横幅了 Well, I have already started on a Sadie Hawkins banner,
所以这事就这么定下来了 so this thing is pretty much set in stone.
看来我要举办自己的舞会了 Well, then maybe I'll throw my own dance,
性别标准跟你那恶心的舞会完全不同 one that doesn't conform to your oppressive gender norms.
你就饶了我吧 Give me a break.
你以为随便说说就能举办一场舞会吗 You think a dance can just be thrown together willy-nilly?
你以为我决定用热带雨林主题的话 You think I decide to just do a rain forest theme
要买棕榈叶 and buy palm fronds
然后控制自动洒水装置进行 and rig the sprinkler system to...
等等 我得把这条写下来 Hold on, I gotta write this down.
人人影视 YYeTs.com
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翻译：尼克白 米粒
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翻译：大卫熊 废咔柴
时间轴：Poxle
校对&总监：夕橙橙
后期：鱼骨头
《废柴联盟》 第四季第八集
布雷塔 你要举行一场抗议舞会 So, Britta, you're gonna go a protest dance.
有这回事吗 Is that a thing?
的确如此 It is now.
我的舞会是为了纪念真正的 And instead of Sadie Hawkins,
男女平等代表 而不是莎蒂·霍金 my dance will honor a real feminist icon,
她无时无刻都在为女权而奋斗 someone who worked for women's rights every day of the year...
她就是苏菲·B·霍金 Sophie B. Hawkins.
这可不 It wasn't really...
你知道吗 布雷塔 你是对的 You know what, Britta, you're right.
一场"苏菲·B·霍金"舞会 A Sophie B. Hawkins dance
正是这所学校需要的 is just what this school needs...
多谢 杰夫 Thanks, Jeff.
以庆祝"苏菲·B·霍金"及其伟大成就 To celebrate Sophie B. Hawkins and all her accomplishments.
得了吧 翁格 是谁要举办舞会 我还是你 Jeez, Winger, who's throwing this dance, me or you?
布雷塔 你想说的是苏珊·B·安东尼 Um, Britta, I think you meant to say Susan B. Anthony,
而不是苏菲·B·霍金吧 not Sophie B. Hawkins.
布雷塔又搞砸啦 Britta for the whoops!
你家的猫不是叫苏珊·B·安东尼吗 Didn't you have a cat named Susan B. Anthony?
这你都能布雷"砸" 真有你的 How did you manage to "Britta" that?
我才没有布雷"砸" I didn't "Britta" anything.
我说的就是苏菲·B·霍金 I meant Sophie B. Hawkins.
是吗 你本来就打算举办一场舞会致敬那个 Really? Your plan was to throw a dance
唱《天啊 多希望我是你的爱人》的歌手吗 honoring the singer of Damn I Wish I Was Your Lover?
还有《当我入睡时》 And As I Lay Me Down,
我觉得这是首神曲 which in my opinion is the far superior song.
-的确是首好歌 -对 - Ooh, that is a good song. - Yeah.
没错 Yes.
我正是要举办一场"苏菲·B·霍金"舞会 I am throwing a Sophie B. Hawkins dance.
到时会很精彩 And it is gonna be amazing,
人们来了之后都会说 And when people come they're gonna be like,
天啊 她竟然布雷"赞"啦 "Damn! She straight 'Britta'd' this!"
因为 没错 姐的名重回"赞"界 Because, that's right, I'm taking it back!
你真要这么干吗 You're really doing this?
听着 作为一名干了七年的冒牌律师 Look, as someone who faked being a lawyer for seven years
我很佩服你言出必行 I appreciate your commitment to the bit,
不过你就承认你错了吧 But just admit you were wrong.
然后你就能说我布雷"砸"了吗 So you can say I "Britta'd" it?
当然 地球人都知道 Yes, of course. That goes without saying.
没关系的 只是个小错误 But come on, it was a small mistake.
在酿成布雷"砸稀巴烂"之前取消吧 Call this off before it becomes a full-scale "Brit-astrophe."
-这词是我编的 -杰夫 - I coined that. - Jeff,
如果你不想来我的舞会 if you don't want to come to my dance
那就尽管去"莎蒂·霍金"舞会好了 you are free to go to the Sadie Hawkins dance,
反正这两场同时在食堂两侧举行 which will be happening at the same time across the cafeteria.
咱学校演出地点有限 Our school has limited venue options.
我肯定不会错过的 Oh, I wouldn't miss it.
最后一件事 你应该明白 Oh, and one last thing... you do realize
如果你把舞会叫做"苏菲·B·霍金" that if you call it a Sophie B. Hawkins dance
人们会期望苏菲·B·霍金本人 people will expect Sophie B. Hawkins
能到现场的吧 to actually be there, right?
当然 Yes.
等她来了 我就会这样 And when she comes I'm gonna be like,
"我会记得你怀疑过我" "I will remember you doubting me."
那是莎拉·麦克拉克兰的歌 That's a Sarah Mclachlan song.
发行过歌曲《我会记得你》
阿布蒂 我在想你说过的话 So, Abed, I was thinking about what you said,
关于变得成熟些的话 我在想 about showing growth, and I was thinking
或许有个办法就是 maybe one way to do that is
-认识新朋友 然后 -说重点 - to meet new people and... - Where's this going?
我能给你找个女伴 Can I set you up with a date
-参加"莎蒂·霍金"舞会吗 -相亲啊 - for the Sadie Hawkins Day dance? - A blind date.
我一直觉得自己有很多奇怪的爱好 I've always thought of myself as more of an acquired taste...
不过 没问题 But...Okay.
如果你还希望见见其他人 Ooh, if you're open to meeting someone,
我教会里有很多符合你条件的 there's a number of eligible young ladies
-年轻女士 -雪瑞 - in my church. - Shirley!
我已经给阿布蒂找了个舞伴 I'm already finding a date for Abed.
-我先问的 - 我们当然都可以 - I asked first. - There's no reason we can't
帮阿布蒂找个女伴 both help Abed find someone.
我们干脆每人选位姑娘 Why don't we each pick a girl
然后让阿布蒂自己挑 and then let Abed decide,
而不是我俩比赛 instead of making it a competition.
这就是比赛 That's exactly a competition.
-那就这样吧 -这只是对输家而言 - So it is. - Only for the loser.
我要这台电脑 I need the computer.
皮尔斯 这里大概有几十台电脑 Pierce, there are, like, dozens of computers.
对 但我电子邮件在这台上面 Yeah, but my email is on this one.
-皮尔斯 -天呐 你屁股怎么了 - Pierce! - Jeez, what's up your butt?
我上午说要见苏菲·B·霍金是骗人的 I may have lied this morning about meeting Sophie B. Hawkins
因为我不希望杰夫取笑我 because I didn't want Jeff to make fun of me,
然后我又继续撒谎来掩盖这个谎言 and then I may have lied to cover that lie,
我现在身陷一大串谎言之中 and now I'm in deep... lies.
那又怎样 你说了个谎 有啥呀 So what? So you told a lie, big deal.
重点是永远不要承认 The important thing is never to admit it.
其实我想坦白交待 Actually, I was thinking about coming clean.
顺了翁格的心意吗 And give Winger the satisfaction?
绝对不行 Hell, no.
再说了 不到最后关头谁知道会怎样 Besides, anything could happen between now and that dance.
说不定就行星撞地球了 An asteroid could hit.
到最后世界都毁灭了 Do you want to be the schmuck who apologizes
你不是白道歉了么 just before the world ends?
似乎有点道理 谢谢 That kind of makes sense. Thank you.
这叫绝世真理好吧 Damn right it makes sense.
坐你面前的可是全校最明理的人 You're talking to the wisest man on campus.
说正事 我真心要上一下邮箱 Now seriously, I need to get to my email.
邮局快关门了 The post office is about to close.
皮尔斯 Pierce!
来瞧瞧 我朋友布雷塔办的 Guys, check out my friend Britta's
索菲·B·霍金主题舞会 Sophie B. Hawkins dance.
到时候我会打遍流金岁月碟和流行劲爆碟 I'll be spinning the hits from yesterday and today,
反正在我看来都一样 昌癔了嘛 which are basically the same to me since I have changnesia.
你小子就跟特氟龙一样 That guy's like teflon.
不管做了啥缺德事 No matter how much awful stuff he does,
都有机会卷土重来 he keep getting another chance.
就跟科林·法瑞尔一样 Yeah, he's like the Colin Farrell of people.
科林的私生活大家懂的 吸毒酗酒换女友
你跟我一起给布雷塔搭把手么 You want to help me with Britta's dance?
正好来一次特洛伊和阿布蒂的狂欢之旅 Could be a chance for classic Troy and Abed hijinks.
要成长我就得尽量少狂欢 In the interest of growth I'm trying to avoid hijinks,
少嘻哈 少打闹 少欺负人 As well as capers, romps, and exploits.
恶作剧就要看情况了 Escapades are a gray area.
阿布蒂 这位是凯特 Abed. This is Kat.
你好 凯特 幸会 Hi, Kat. Nice to meet you.
她有事情要问你 She wants to ask you something.
她跟阿布蒂很搭吧 Isn't she perfect for Abed?
她就是电影里那种很诡异的姑娘 She's like one of those quirky girls from the movies.
我见过她在餐厅里企图以歌抵账 I saw her in the cafeteria trying to pay for lunch with a song.
我对气球问你愿不愿意 I asked if you'd go to the Sadie Hawkins dance
跟我去萨迪·霍金舞会 with me into the balloon.
你听出来了吗 Could you hear it?
当然 我很愿意陪同 Sure, I'd be happy to go with you.
好耶好耶 Super duper Mister Cooper!
不错 Nice.
看来你选了我方选手 So, you chose the girl I picked.
不错嘛 It's cool.
倒不是说我们要比赛 Not like it was a competition or anything.
不过告诉雪瑞的时候记得委婉一点哈 Just be gentle when you tell Shirley that she was the loser.
要不我来告诉她? Or do you want me to tell her?
不用了 我来搞定 It's cool. I'll handle it.
那姑娘是外星人呢 So, was that girl an alien
还是光长个儿没长脑 or a toddler with a growing disease?
阿布蒂 Hello, Abed.
我问过教会那个特别好的姑娘了 I talked to a lovely girl at my church
她很想跟你一起参加舞会 and she'd be happy to go to the dance with you.
雪瑞 你心意我领了 可 I appreciate it, Shirley, but I...
你好歹考虑一下嘛 I hope you will at least consider it,
倒不是说你一声拒绝会伤透美人心 and not just because saying "No" would crush this poor girl,
是我实在不忍心你就这样错过机会 but because I don't want you to miss out
过这村就没这店了呀 on the opportunity of a lifetime.
有道理 You're right.
我愿意跟她以前参加布雷塔的舞会 I'd love to go to Britta's dance with her.
太好了 我去安排一下 Oh, goody! I'll set it up.
希望不要伤到安妮的感情 Oh, I hope this doesn't hurt Annie's feelings.
要不我去告诉她吧 Maybe I should go tell her.
不用 我来搞定 No need. I'll handle it.
好的 再见 Oh, okay. Bye-bye.
我们被《异度觉醒》附体 At the risk of discovering I'm living two parallel lives
走进平行世界了吗 like that guy in awake,
你不是已经答应一个姑娘了吗 Don't you already have a date to the dance?
对 现在就有两个了 也就是说 Yep. Now I have two, which means
我可以上演喜剧里常见的平行约会梗了 I can do the classic two dates in one night sitcom trope.
到时候我会一边一套战袍 搞混她们的名字 I'll get to wear two outfits. Mix up their names.
-说不定还躲桌底下 -你不说要成长吗 - Maybe hide under a table. - What about growth?
我拼劲了全力想把事理顺 I tried to go in a more grounded direction,
结果还是搞成了一场混乱的闹剧 but I still ended up in a comically implausible situation.
就像雪瑞说的 It's like Shirley said,
此等狂欢机会 过了这村就没这店了 It's a once in a lifetime opportunity for hijinks.
绝对不能错过 I can't pass it up.
你明明已经放弃了一个绝好的狂欢机会 It seems like you already passed up a great opportunity for hijinks.
有吗 I did?
废话 布雷塔舞会筹备 Uh, duh doy! Britta's dance?
你当平行约会很嗨吗 You think two dates is crazy?
筹备舞会才叫嗨 嗨翻天 Planning a dance is hijinks city, population hijinks.
特洛伊 来帮忙 Troy, I need your help.
去搞点冰 Get some ice?
酷炫冰 那冰超酷的 Wac...wacky ice. The ice will be wacky.
今日两场大型舞会
谢谢你送我花环 Thank you for the corsage..
跟你的康乃馨很搭 好可爱 Oh, it matches your carnation. How cute.
你喜欢就好 I'm glad you like it.
我还怕你嫌它太老套呢 I was afraid you'd think it was old-fashioned.
我就喜欢老套的东西 感觉很清新 I like old-fashioned. I find it refreshing.
说到清新 我去拿点潘趣酒 Speaking of refreshing, I'm gonna get us some punch.
马上回来 Be right back.
大家好 我是凯文 Hi, I'm kevin.
我是今晚的DJ Apparently I'm your DJ tonight.
其实我啥也不懂 所以 I really don't know what I'm doing, so...
如果要点歌 麻烦说清楚一些 if you have a request, please be specific.
我昌癔了 I have Changnesia.
有什么事吗 Can I help you?
我就是想换一身打扮 Oh, I just wanted to try on a different look.
我这人比较优柔寡断 I'm pretty indecisive,
所以可能会来回好几次 别介意 so I may be back here a few times, if that's okay.
-好 -酷 - Mm-hmm. - Cool.
我还想看一下这本基甸版圣经 I'm also gonna need to check this gideon's bible
还有这个软糖万花筒 and this jelly bean kaleidoscope.
可以活跃气氛 Icebreakers.
布雷塔 索菲·B呢 Hey, Britta. Where's Sophie B.?
在后台喝着Zima酒 数豆宝玩儿呢吗 Is she backstage drinking zima and counting her beanie babies?
恕不方便透露 Sorry, I can't divulge that.
名人很在乎隐私的 Stars and their privacy, you know.
反正她肯定会来咯 But she'll definitely be here?
当然 索菲肯定来 Oh, yeah. Sophie be coming.
那么一小时前网上发的这条消息 So it just be coincidence that somebody posted
与此无关咯 a craigslist ad an hour ago
其中写道 寻找索菲·B·霍金 That says, "Looking for Sophie B. Hawkins,
跪求索菲·B·霍金 or convincing Sophie B. Hawkins impersonator
今晚莅临社区大学参加舞会 to play Community College dance tonight.
报酬极为低廉 Very little money."
她居然还蛮抢手 It's weird how in demand she is.
幸亏我们订得早 Good thing we booked her early.
布雷塔 我们薯片不多了 Britta, we're running low on chips.
我有个想法 Here's what I'm thinking.
我去"莎蒂·霍金"舞会那边 I go over to the Sadie Hawkins dance
扮成"零食探长"去踩踩点 as the Snack Inspector, doing random spot checks,
顺点他们的薯片 and confiscate their chips.
只要变个脸就好了 All I need is a disguise.
直接去储藏间拿一点不是更容易吗 Or you could just go to the supply closet And get some more chips.
好吧 但我还是想戴着假胡子去 Okay, but I-I still need to use the moustache probably.
给 虽然没有花 Here, in lieu of flowers
但我找来了这个 很怪吧 I got you this. It's quirky.
谢谢州长先生 Thanks, Guv'nor!
我来把它装进我的隐形口袋 I'll just put it in me invisible sack.
好吧 我去拿点潘趣酒 Okay, I'm gonna get us some punch.
和杰西卡相处得怎么样 How are things going with you and Jessica?
你们是不是 像电视里一样 勾搭上了 Are you two...as they say on TV... making a connection?
可别说你们上床了 我可不希望那样 Unless that means sex, in which case I hope you are not.
棒极了 Things are great.
事实上 杰西卡说她有点冷 Actually, Jessica did mention that she's cold.
她能借穿你的外套吗 Could she borrow your sweater?
或许借你上周穿的紫色那件 Maybe the purple one you wore last week.
我看到你没穿回家 所以我认为 I didn't see you wear it home, so I think it's
它还在你的柜子里 在雨伞旁边 still in your locker next to your umbrella.
-我去看看 -你真贴心 - I guess I could check. - Could you?
-那就太好了 -好吧 - That'd be great. - Okay.
室友 Hey, roomie.
你认为凯特怎么样 What do you think of Kat?
她告诉你她会演奏锯条了吗 Did she tell you she plays the saw?
她不是说在一个全女生卡祖笛乐队吗 I thought she was in an all-girl kazoo band?
乐队也得需要有人打节拍啊 They need a rhythm section, duh.
有事找我 我去跟布雷塔打个招呼 Well, keep me posted. I'm gonna go say hi to Britta.
别 不行 No, don't!
因为你牙上有东西 Because you have something in your teeth.
很多东西 A lot of somethings.
是吗 是什么 I do? What is it?
太暗 看不清 Ooh, I can't tell in this light.
但绝对有东西 But it's definitely there.
你应该去洗手间看看 You should probably check it out in the bathroom.
去二楼那个 亮堂 Maybe the second floor one? Better light.
好的 谢谢 I will. Thank you.
够哥们意思 You're a good friend.
你好 杰弗瑞 Hello, Jeffrey.
你喜欢这短袜舞会吗 Are you enjoying the sock hop?
布雷塔舞会有啥咱就有啥除了没有布雷"砸" A sock hop Britta has all but "Britta'd"
绝对不会布雷"自砸" by not "Britta-ing" her own dance.
时候还早 Well, the night is young.
对了 By the way,
我没想到你会同意与她共用食堂 I'm surprised you let her share the cafeteria with you.
我也不想 但是既然她保证 Oh, I didn't want to. But once she guaranteed
会请到某人 我无法拒绝 the presence of a certain someone, I couldn't say no.
如果我是你 我不会抱太大希望那个苏菲 I wouldn't get your hopes up for Sophie B...
-擦 你要的是我 -跳支舞吧 - Oh, it's me. - Shall we dance? Whoop.
-在读圣经吗 -别剧透 - Are you reading the bible? - No spoilers.
真希望这个叫约伯的家伙能交好运 I'm really hoping that things turn around for this Job guy.
我看起来如何 So, how do I look?
不错 不过得把帽子摘掉 Good. Except you gotta lose the hat.
那帽子跟牧师的女儿不搭 It doesn't go with the minister's daughter.
你知道我在干什么 You know what I'm doing.
是的 你在同时跟两个人约会 Yeah. You're on two dates at once.
你一进来我就在观察你 I've been watching you since you came in.
我不善于察言观色 你是在评判我 I'm not good with faces. Is that a judgmental face
-还是很高兴 -我觉得那很赞 - or a happy face? - I think it's awesome.
那是我最喜欢的部分 It's one of my favorite bits,
比如狗自窘啊 like when a dog acts embarrassed,
男的追女的 or when a guy chases after the girl
然后在公共场合示爱啊 and then does that big public declaration of love.
那不现实 那需要更私人的环境 It's not realistic. It's taking something private
把它变成表演 and turning it into a performance.
我认为狗是受过训练的 Well, I think the dog's trained.
不 我是说公共场合示爱 No, I was talking about the public declaration of love...
-原来你在耍我 -是的 - Oh, you're messing with me. - Yes, I was.
事情变得比我想象的复杂 So this thing's turning out to be
想要帮忙吗 a little tougher than I thought. You wanna help?
我很想 但是我这本圣经 I'd like to, but I've still got like
还有1200页没看呢 我当然愿意帮忙 1,200 pages left of this bible. Yes, of course I would.
酷 酷酷酷 Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
今晚的"莎蒂·霍金"舞会 Tonight's Sadie Hawkins Dance
由霍桑纸巾赞助 is brought to you by Hawthorne wipes.
专为下得厨房的女士准备 For the little lady who knows her place in the kitchen.
而今晚的"苏菲·B·霍金"舞会 And tonight's Sophie B. Hawkins Dance
同样由霍桑纸巾赞助 is brought to you by Hawthorne wipes.
最适合擦拭你那辆92年斯巴鲁的仪表盘 Perfect for cleaning the dashboard of your '92 Subaru.
来的人不少啊 布雷塔 Ah, quite a turnout, Britta.
是啊 我没想到"苏菲·B·霍金" Yep. Didn't know Sophie B. Hawkins
这么受本校学生欢迎 was so big at Greendale.
是的 格林德尔大部分学生 Oh, yeah. A large percentage of Greendale
在九十年代就自暴自弃了 students sort of gave up in the mid '90s,
所以对大多数人来说 苏菲·B·霍金 so for many of them Sophie B. Hawkins
就是他们知道的最潮的音乐了 is the most recent music they're aware of.
我是说她能来对这些人来说 I mean, her coming here is gonna be a huge boost
-真的太欢欣鼓舞了 -太好了 - to their spirits. - Great.
因此 如果她不出现 Whereas, her not showing up
足以将这些人逼迫到 would be enough to push these people
那黑暗的角落 扪心自问 to such a dark place and really question
生活的意义何在 whether life is worth living at all.
闪了 拜 Okay, bye-bye.
你研究圣经多久了 So, how long have you been doing bible studies?
我是说你用胶带做了多少小帽子 I mean, making miniature hats out of duct tape?
胶带帽子啊 Oh, duct tape hat... oh!
这么说你没看过任何一部星战电影 So you've never seen any of the Star Wars movies?
我被教导主流电影是魔鬼的作品 We were taught popular films were the work of the devil.
如果你是指《魅影危机》[星战前传1] Well, if you're talking about the Phantom Menace,
你说的没错 you were taught right.
-有电报 -很紧急 - Telegram. - Ooh, yeah, it's urgent.
马上回来 Be right back.
皮尔斯 苏菲·B·霍金不会来 Pierce, Sophie B. Hawkins isn't coming.
大家会知道我是个骗子 Everyone's gonna know I'm a liar.
-帮帮我 -布雷塔 - Help me. - Oh, Britta.
我来给你讲一个我朋友的故事 Let me tell you a story about a friend of mine
大家都叫他骗子 that everyone called a liar.
他叫伯纳德·麦道夫 His name was Bernie Madoff.
皮尔斯 他是个骗子 Pierce! He was a liar.
他从客户那偷了数十亿美元 He stole billions of dollars from his clients.
这事已经确认了吗 Has this been confirmed?
老天 我布雷"砸"了 Oh, my god. I "Britta'd" it.
伯尼 Bernie?
-雪瑞 -安妮 - Oh, hi, Shirley. - Hello, Annie.
阿布蒂貌似很开心 这最重要了 Abed seems to be having a good time, which is all that matters.
说得对 You're right.
看起来他做了正确的决定 Looks like he made the right choice.
就是这样 He certainly did.
我们达成共识了 最牛逼的女人赢了 So, we agree. The best woman won.
她的确赢了 She certainly did.
他脚踏两条船了是吧 He's on two dates, isn't he?
准是这样 He certainly is.
这是我在工作的时候 This is the most fun I've ever had
玩得最开心的一次 on a work study gig.
我以前买冰冻酸奶 And I used to run the frozen yogurt machine
直到有个老家伙把机器弄坏了 before that old guy broke it.
真是险象环生 There's been so many close calls.
我总是忘记细节 说错名字 I keep forgetting details, using the wrong names,
躲在植物后面 having to duck behind plants.
今晚很完美 This night has been perfect.
单子上还有什么 Oh, what else is on the list?
抱歉 Sorry.
如果这是电影 我们会在这一刻亲吻 If this were a movie, this would be the part where we kiss.
嗯 You're right.
不过我们这是在演情景喜剧 Except we're doing a sitcom trope,
亲吻太出挑了 so it'd be totally out of place.
我该陷入窘境 Time to go get caught and make an impassioned plea
对心爱的女孩表白了 to the girl I really like.
我想我会选择杰西卡 I think I'm gonna go with Jessica.
她貌似最有观众缘 She seems to be the audience favorite.
好吧 拜拜 Okay, bye.
你以为你能就这样甩手走人吗 Did you really think you'd get away with this?
-听我解释 -你不是说想成熟起来吗 - Let me explain. - What about wanting to grow?
还是说这又是一个帮你完成 Or was that just a lie so you could do
举世瞩目的阿布蒂电视之旅的谎言 another world-famous Abed TV adventure?
你伤害的是真实的人 These are real people you're messing with.
凯特还在那自己转呼啦圈呢 Kat is over there hula-hooping all by herself.
阿布蒂 现实世界中人们是会受伤的 Abed, in the real world people can actually get hurt.
真棒啊 有人想点歌 Oh, this is great. So, I got a request for,
《你太烂了 快下台吧》 "You suck at this. Get off the stage."
好吧 我不知道这是乐队名还是歌名 Okay, I don't know if that's the band or the song.
再次道歉 昌癔了嘛 Again, apologies. Changnesia.
她们在我面前发飙了 Well, it blew up in my face,
不过说的跟我想象的不太一样 in a slightly different way than I planned.
-有什么能帮忙的嘛 -瑞秋去哪了 - Can I help you? - Where's Rachel?
-她说要先走了 -去哪 - She said she had to go. - Where?
我不清楚 她貌似不高兴 I don't know. She seemed upset.
一半衣服都没贴标签就走了 She ran out of here without tagging half this stuff.
这些水袋是谁的 I mean, whose water wings are these?
快回来 Come back here!
算我没问 Never mind.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
我说想成熟起来是真心的 I did mean what I said about growth.
但你们立即便开始给我找对象 But then you were both so intent on getting me dates,
我忍不住想玩一下 I couldn't help myself.
这样不对 很伤人 It was wrong, and hurtful.
我现在明白了 I see that now.
也许帮你相亲本来就不是好主意 Well, maybe setting you up was a bad idea.
我想我们俩带来的姑娘都不适合你 Yeah, I guess neither of our girls were really right for you.
最糟的是今晚我遇见一个女孩 The worst part is that I met a girl tonight
我真的很喜欢她 that I really do like.
但我忙着周旋于约会中 But I was so busy chasing one trope,
却忽略了面前的真心人 I missed the trope right under my nose...
和我真正喜欢的女孩的约会 that the girl I liked all along was under my nose.
现在我都搞砸了 And now I've screwed things up.
我不知还能否挽回 I don't know if I can make them right.
等等 这次是认真的对吗 Wait. This one's real, right?
对 我真的很伤心 Yeah, I'm really sad.
去找她啊 笨蛋 Well, go find her, dummy.
没错 你没见电影里怎么演的吗 Yeah, haven't you ever seen a movie?
苏菲 苏菲 苏菲 Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
苏菲 苏菲 苏菲 Sophie. Sophie. Sophie.
我不是个幸灾乐祸的人 I hate to say I told you so,
但我还是要当着布雷塔的面乐一下 but I'm gonna say it to Britta's face.
苏菲 苏菲 苏菲 Sophie! Sophie! Sophie!
希望的真谛是什么 What is the nature of hope?
苏菲没来啊 各位 Sophie's not coming, guys.
下去吧 Boo! Boo!
看来有人低估了 Looks like someone underestimated
办一场舞会的时间啊 the time it takes to plan a dance.
看啊 苏菲·B·霍金来了 Hey, hey, hey! It's Sophie B. Hawkins!
晚上好 我是苏菲·B·霍金 Good evening! I'm Sophie B. Hawkins.
相信你们听过这首歌 I think you know this one.
天啊 Oh, man.
*狗儿把你锁起来* * That old dog has chained you up alright *
*给你所需要的一切* * Give you everything you need *
*将你困在笼子中* * To live inside a twisted cage *
*枕着虚无的愤怒入睡* * Sleep beside an empty rage *
是你弄的吗 Did you do this?
如果你是问"有志者事竟成"是谁发明的 If it's possible to make something happen
那果断是我啊 by willing it, then, yes, I did.
*天啊 多希望我是你的爱人* * Damn, I wish I was your lover *
*整晚抚慰你* * I'd rock you till the daylight comes *
*温暖你的笑容* * Made sure you are smiling and warm *
*我会成为一切* * I am everything *
*今晚我给你母爱* * Tonight I'll be your mother *
*付出一切抚平你的伤痛* * I'll do such things to ease your pain *
*还你自由 免你忧愁* * Free your mind and you won't feel ashamed *
抱歉 苏菲 Pardon me, Sophie.
我有事要说 I have something to say.
今晚有位女孩 她叫瑞秋 There was a girl here tonight. Her name was Rachel.
能见到她我很高兴 I met her, and it was very pleasant.
但我犯了一个错误 And I made a mistake.
现在我非常希望能再见到她 And now I'd very much like to continue
跟她单独聊聊 this conversation in private.
真爱万岁 Wow, viva lost love.
*天啊 多希望我是你的爱人* *Damn, I wish I was your lover*
*整晚抚慰你* * I'd rock you till the daylight comes *
-你回来了 -刚才太尴尬 - You came back. - That was pretty embarrassing.
我只能... I had to...
确实是 但很高兴我那么做了 It was. But I'm glad I did it.
你想不想有空一起出去玩 So, would you like to go out sometime?
我很乐意 I would like that.
你想不想假装跟我约会 Do you want to pretend like you're
只是为了赢得打赌 just going out with me on a bet?
我很愿意 I'd like that very much.
不过也许我们该先正式约会一次 But maybe we should try normal first.
当然 Sure.
-我更喜欢《当我入睡时》 -我也是 - I prefer 'As I lay me down'. - Me too.
真不敢相信她办成了 I can't believe she pulled this off.
是啊 I know.
根据院长法 我必须把我的护身符给她 According to dean law, I must now give her my amulet.
啥 What?
当然她得到了一点睿智老者的帮助 Well, she had a little help from a wise old man
那位老者曾在1997到1999年间担任 who was the official supplier of moist towelettes
莉莉丝商场独家湿纸巾供货商 to the Lilith Fair between 1997 and 1999.
我就知道 你没事了 I knew it. You're safe.
是你干的 为什么 You did this? But why?
因为即使知道根本行不通 Because, in the face of all logic and reason,
-布雷塔仍然没有退缩 -太坑爹了吧 - Britta didn't back down. - That makes no sense.
还因为我看不惯 Also, I didn't like the way
你对待她的混球方式 you were being such a jerk to her.
可她真的很癫狂好吗 Well, she was acting crazy.
但她有什么办法呢 Yeah, but what choice did she have?
你取笑她 You make fun of her,
用她的名字做"搞砸了"的同义词 you use her name as a synonym for screwing up.
让着点她吧 杰夫 Cut her some slack, Jeff.
她帮你调和了父子关系 She helped you reconcile with your dad.
看在老天的份上 让她高兴一回吧 For Pete's sake, let her be happy.
*感觉就像春日时光* * It felt like springtime *
*在这个二月清晨* * on this February morning *
*院子里鸟儿歌唱赞美你* * In the courtyard birds were singing your praise *
我知道读我的短信 "I know it's probably impossible to read my texts
想不用讽刺语气都很难 "without them sounding sarcastic,
但我保证 "but I assure you,
这条是出自真心 "this one is as earnest as they come.
恭喜你办了场超棒的舞会 "Congratulations on an awesome dance.
你布雷"赞"了全场 " You Britta'd the hell out of this thing. "
*我祈祷* * This I pray *
*能拥你入怀 亲爱的* * That you will hold me, dear *
*当我躺下入睡* * As I lay me down to sleep *
*我祈祷* * This I pray*
*能用你入眠 亲爱的* * That you will hold me, dear *
*即使我远在他方* * Though I'm far away *
*我会默念你的名字* * I'll whisper your name *
*寄思念于夜空* * Into the sky *
你能唱个希望我有冰激凌吗 Can you do one where you wish you had ice cream?
* 天啊 多希望我有冰激凌 * * Damn, I wish I had some ice cream *
太棒了 Ah! So good!
好 你能唱你希望我是蝙蝠侠吗 Okay, can you do one where you wish I was batman?
- 好 不过这是最后一个 -好 - Fine, but this is the last one. - Okay.
* 天啊 多希望阿布蒂是蝙蝠侠 * * Damn, I wish Abed was batman *
-太棒了 -我非常喜欢 - Ah, it's just so good! - I love it so much!
好了好了 你们两个在占B·霍金小姐便宜 All right, all right. You guys are taking advantage of Mrs. B. Hawkins.
不是... 不是... No, but...But... But...But...
不是你个头 她是位艺术家 But you nothing, she's an artist.
不是在这给你们唱歌的 She is not here to do your bidding.
真是抱歉 Sorry about that.
你能不能唱个 Now, if you could just sing
"院长 多希望我是你的情人" "Dean, I wish I was your lover"
用这份新歌词 这是给我语音信箱用的 with these new lyrics. It's for my voicemail.
-谁是杰夫·翁格 -只管唱就行了 - Who's Jeff Winger? - Just sing the damn song.