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翻译：尼克白 米粒
翻译：大卫熊 废咔柴
时间轴：Poxle
校对：好累一瓣橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
《废柴联盟》 第四季第九集
这种诡异的沉寂已经持续好几天了 Okay, this awkward silence has been going on for days.
虽然杰夫瑞在沉思时的确很帅 Granted, Jeffrey looks amazing when he broods,
但你们不能再这样了 but this has got to stop.
我不知道发生了什么 Now, I don't know what happened,
但我们总得把事情查清楚吧 but we have to get to the bottom of this.
太尴尬了 It's too embarrassing.
我懂 I understand.
你们不想说 You don't wanna talk about it,
其实也不必说 and you won't have to.
他们会代你们说出来 They will talk for you.
你为什么要做这些手偶 还带到这里来 Why did you make, have, and bring these?
不用回答 Don't answer.
这是手偶疗法 It's puppet therapy.
心理学界最近看它出现在《法律与秩序》中 The psychology world has recently embraced it
于是便都接受了这个疗法 after seeing it on Law & Order.
你们会发现所有手偶都是按你们的长相做的 You'll notice that each puppet is made in your likeness.
做得是有些赶 They were a rush job.
人家可没有为了一己之乐而早有准备哦 It's not like I had them on hand for personal use.
不好意思 Excuse me.
让我把这条肯定不是鞭子的玩意拿走 Let me just grab this thing that's definitely not a whip.
除了感觉很可爱 In addition to being adorable,
我还能亲身体会到 手偶疗法 I know firsthand that puppet therapy
的确很有效 can and does work.
院长 手偶凯文觉得 Uh, dean, puppet Kevin here thinks
我现在应该吃一条糖果棒 I should have a candy bar right now.
不行 你知道这会让你太兴奋 No, you know how it winds you up.
好 那我俩分着吃 Fine. We'll split it.
很好 你有钱吗 哥们 All right. Got money, bro?
他心里可不是这么想的 He's not what he seems!
等等 皮尔斯在哪 Wait. Where's Pierce?
我知道他不在 但他还在世吗 I know he's not with us, but is he still with us?
我肯定他没事 I'm sure he's fine.
不过自从他在树林里发了疯 Although, no one's seen him
就没人再见过他了 since he lost his mind in the woods.
你们都去树林啦 You all were in the woods? Oh.
这么说手偶起作用了 很好 Oh, so the puppets are working. Okay.
这是怎样开始的 发生了什么 How did it start? What happened?
我们不会拿着手偶玩的 We're not playing with puppets.
杰夫瑞 Oh, Jeffrey.
院长 发生的事情只有我们和耶稣知道 Dean, what happened is between us and Jesus,
而且耶稣不会告密 And Jesus don't snitch.
对 而且我不需要用手偶来表达自己的想法 Yeah, and I don't need a puppet to express myself.
我早就说过我想要什么了 I already say whatever I want.
但我是灵媒的粉丝 所以 But I am a fan of the medium, so...
我爸不肯 My father is withholding.
有意思 That's interesting.
伙计们 我们真的要永远 Guys, are we just gonna avoid
就这么不敢互相直视了吗 making eye contact forever?
这算什么 嘿咻中的杰夫吗 Who are we, Jeff during sex?
我们就试试看会怎样吧 Let's just give it a shot and move on.
好 Fine.
如果我们真要这么玩 If we're gonna play this game,
那 和布雷塔嘿咻不同的是 then, unlike sex with Britta,
我们要放下尊严 we're gonna do it quickly
速战速决 尽快完事 and with a small shred of dignity.
杰夫瑞 "尊严"是我的中间名 Jeffrey, Dignity is my middle name,
而我的名字就叫 and my first name is
院诺曹 Dean-nocchio!
一切都是从周五开始的 It all started on Friday.
布雷塔当时在谈她最近的几项伟大事业 Britta was talking about a few of her latest causes.
这个代表格林德尔动物收容所 This one's for the Greendale animal shelter,
这个代表全球变暖 this one's for global warming,
这个代表全球变冷 this one's for global cooling...
而这个是代表制作这些愚蠢手环时 And this one's for the amount of rubber wasted
浪费的橡胶 while making stupid bracelets.
那叫滥用橡胶 That's called rubber flubbing,
是个真实存在的问题 And it's a real problem.
睁开你们双眼吧 人类 Open your eyes, people!
布雷塔说"睁开你们双眼吧 人类" Britta said, "Open your eyes, people."
-对头 -很好 - Square. - Nice.
你俩在干什么 What are you two doing?
我们在玩"学习小组对对碰" We're playing "Study Group Bingo."
学习小组对对碰 Study Group Bingo?
我们当了四年的好朋友 We've been best friends for four years,
所以我们已陷入了一个安逸重复的模式 so we've fallen into a comfortable, repetitive pattern
比如《三人行》里的搞笑误会 like humorous misunderstandings on Three's Company
又或是《八卦天后》里的闺蜜八卦 or girls gossiping on Gossip Girl.
所以为活跃气氛 So to liven things up,
特洛伊和我做了这个对对碰表 Troy and I made this Bingo chart
预言我们会说的话 of the predictable things we say.
这游戏太娘了 This game is gay.
-对头 -这是在嘲笑我们吗 - Square. - You're mocking us?
这么做可不怎么符合基督教 That's not a very Christian thing to do.
对头 Square.
我们现在能安心学习了吗 Can we go back to studying now?
-对头 -人家不喜欢这个游戏 - Square. - I don't like this game.
-我也是 -我觉得这游戏太损了 - Me neither. - I think it's mean.
-毫无意义 -对 太侮辱人了 - There's no point. - Yeah, it's insulting.
-够了 住口 -对头 - Okay, stop. - Square.
阿布蒂说得对 Abed's right.
我们这些对话已经重复过无数遍 We've had the same conversation a million times.
我想我们有点陷入 I guess we're kind of stuck in a...
-瓶颈 -对 - Rut? - Yes.
但说句公道话 没有很多事情 But to be fair, there's not many things
能让你陷进去 you could be stuck in.
-电梯 -糟糕的婚姻 - Elevators. - Bad marriages.
泥炭沼泽 A peat bog.
飞机中间的座位 On a flight in the middle seat.
-时间循环 -井底 - Time loops. - The bottom of a well.
-你自身的情感 -流沙 - Your own emotions. - Quicksand.
-够了 住口 -对头 - Okay, stop! - Square.
为什么我们说的话都能猜得到 How did we get so predictable?
这就是我们1989年所建的一流图书馆 And here is our state-of-the-art 1989 library
在这里... 看呐 where... oh, look!
这是我最喜欢的学习小组 It is my favorite study group.
他们很能代表我们 They all really typify the diversity
格林德尔的多元化 we have here at Greendale.
健壮帅气的男领袖 Uh, ruggedly handsome leading man...
孩他妈 愤青 a mom, an activist,
三好学生 活到老学到老的人 a perfect student, a lifelong learner,
好搭档和阿布蒂 a sidekick, and Abed.
介绍完毕 Enough foreplay.
我们该换个地方 It's time to move this tour along
去见见我的好朋友磁态态了 to meet my good friend Magnitude!
没错 准备好被噼里啪啦砰吧 Yeah, prepare to be pop-popped!
他可是个国宝 Aw, he's a national treasure.
听着 问题不在于我们 Look, the problem isn't us.
我们很棒的 We're awesome.
是格林德尔有问题 The problem is Greendale.
成天拿我们当猴耍 该出去透透气了 It's pulling our strings, and we need a break.
对 春天本来就不是读书天 Yeah, our Ferris Bueller needs a day off.
你们谁老爸有古董法拉利 Hey, whose dad has a vintage ferrari?
阿布蒂 电影里那种都太老套了 Abed, a pop culture reference is more of the same.
我们要来点大动作 We need to go big.
来一场冒险 We need an adventure!
安妮 这是个好主意 但我有个问题 That's a good idea, Annie, but there's one problem.
*去哪里呢* *Where would we go? *
*哪里 我们去哪里* * Where, where would we go? *
*想去哪里 就去那里* * We can go anywhere that you know *
*穿越时空怎么样* * Could we travel through time? *
*法国怎么样* * Or maybe see France? *
*随便哪里 有裸女起舞就行* * Or anywhere else naked ladies will dance? *
*随电话亭一起飞* * Could we fly in a booth *
《时空探长》情节
*教会露营怎么样* * Could we go to church camp? *
*我宁可待在格林德尔* * I'd rather stay at Greendale *
*热气球飞行怎么样* * Could we ride a hot air balloon? *
*好* * Yes! *
*这才叫冒险* * Now, that's an adventure *
*即刻就出发* * Well, we should go soon *
*-天涯海角任我们飞翔 -对* * - We can go anywhere in a balloon - Yes. *
*这才叫冒险* * That's an adventure *
*让我们飞向高空* * We can go high *
*-乘着气球俯瞰全世界 -对* * - We can see anything up in the sky. - Yes. *
*这才叫冒险* *Now that's an adventure. *
*皮尔斯 带上假牙* * Pierce, bring your dentures. *
*我们激动难耐 因为要不了多久* * We're so thrilled because soon. *
*就要坐上热气球* *We'll be in a hot air balloon. *
*你们好 我是你们的飞行指导* * Hey, guys. I'm the balloon guide. *
*出发之前 我要先检查固定绳* *Before we take off, I'm gonna check the balloon ties. *
*看看加热器 查查载客篮* * Look at the burner, check out the basket. *
*有任何问题 随时问我* * If you have a question, feel free to ask it. *
*能飞到太空吗* * Could we go to space? *
*能飞去天堂吗* * Could we fly to heaven? *
*不如飞去维加斯* * I'd rather fly to Vegas. *
*准备就绪* * It's getting time *
*气球起飞* * to ride the balloon *
*好耶* * Yes, *
*这场冒险 即将开始* * now this is adventure about to go soon *
*-乘着气球飞到天涯海角 -对* * - We're gonna go anywhere in the balloon - Yes. *
*这场冒险* * This is adventure *
*就要起飞* * we're starting to fly. *
*从天空俯瞰世界* * We can see everything here in the sky. *
*这场冒险* * This is adventure. *
*晴空万里多美好* * There's beautiful weather now outside. *
*一切都好* * And we're fine. *
*只是少了飞行指导* * As long as we have a balloon guide. *
不会吧 Oh, no!
天哪 Oh, boy.
以后乘热气球不准唱歌 From now on, no more singing in the balloon.
-我错过了吗 -错过什么 - Did I miss it? - Miss what?
才没有热气球自己飞走了呢 Who said anything about a runaway balloon?
好 等我酝酿一下 Okay, let me process this.
不要哇 No!
天哪 Oh, God.
-真的好高 -我特别恐高 - We're really high. - I'm really scared of heights.
现在怎么办 Guys, what are we gonna do?
我以前做过这种噩梦 I had a dream it would end this way.
杰夫瑞 你坐的气球居然自己飞走了 Oh, Jeffrey, you're on a runaway balloon?
这可是要出人命的啊 要出人命啊 You could have died. You could have died.
你们怎么能让他差点没命 How could you almost let him die?
我们都差点没命 可不都还活着吗 We all almost died, but we all didn't.
其实 共同经历这种生死险情 You know, plus, a near death experience
理论上应该增进我们的感情 would've only brought us closer together.
有理 Good point.
尽管这段经历真是险象环生 Although it did get pretty hairy after that
尤其是有皮尔斯火上浇油 especially once Pierce started helping.
大家跟我一起使劲推 Okay, everyone push down with me at the same time.
一 二 三 One, two, three!
快点儿啊 我一个人不够 Come on, people. I can't do this alone.
何止不够 你根本不行 You can't do it at all.
你们看 往下降了 Oh, look. A downstream.
皮尔斯 住手 Pierce! No!
如果我们飞去天堂 If we fly to heaven,
拜托不要把我和布雷塔的事告诉我爷爷 please don't tell my grandpa about me and Britta.
情况不妙 This is not good.
一片乌云 太暗了 There are so many clouds. It's so dark!
我都看不见降落跑道了 I can't even see the landing strip
其他脱衣舞酒吧也看不到了 Or any of the other nudie bars.
strip: 跑道 也有脱衣的意思
主啊 救救我们吧 Oh, heaven, help us.
我们都距离地面一英里了吧 We must be a mile above the ground.
这就属公共领空了 That's international airspace.
美国已经管不了我们了 We're literally above the law.
杰夫看上哪个男的都能结婚了 Jeff can marry any man he wants.
慢着 Wait a second, guys.
我们好像在往下掉 I think we're starting to go down.
看见没 祈祷见效了 You see? Prayer works.
见效的是重力 雪瑞 So does gravity, Shirley.
重力又是谁发明的呢 And you know who invented gravity, right?
伙计们 关于神奇宇宙的话题 Guys, let's put a pin in the mysteries of the
等着陆后再讨论吧 universe convo until we land.
看来不会很久的 Which will be sooner than we thought.
加速很快 伙计们 We're gaining speed fast, people.
冲击力好大 Oh! Brace for impact.
-该死的重力 -该死的祈祷 - Oh, damn you, gravity! - Damn you, prayer!
该死的薇琪 Damn you, Vicki!
你们有没有发现 Has anyone else noticed professor Duncan
邓肯教授好久没出现过了 hasn't been around for a long time?
说不定我能让它降得慢一点 Maybe I can soften our descent.
皮尔斯 住手 Pierce, no!
放马来呀 外强中干的死老头 Bring it to me strong, old man monkey strength!
好吧 Okay.
好吧 我懂了 当时很恐怖 Okay, obviously, that was very scary.
确实是有创伤后遗症这码事 Post-traumatic stress is a real issue,
但通过手偶说出我们的真实感受之后 But with these puppets giving voice to our feelings,
就可以逐渐康复了 we can begin to heal.
这个过程会很漫长 也很辛苦 This is gonna be a long and arduous process.
还没说完 There's more.
不好意思 Hey, well, excuse Dean
你们暂时化险为夷 我才松口气说两句 for reacting to the natural lull in your story.
对不起 I'm so sorry.
你们对于我就是十指连心啊 When you hurt, I hurt.
后来又怎么了 What happened next?
-我们还活着 -大家都好吗 - We made it. - Everyone okay?
-我好着呢 -对头 - I'm alive. - Square.
-你俩别闹了 -我们还活着吗 - Guys, knock it off. - Okay, still alive?
我们都平安无事 Okay, we're all safe.
我们得想办法 We just have to figure out
回到格林德尔 how to get back to Greendale.
但是我们在森林里 But we're in the middle of the woods.
怎么办好呢 Where do we start?
我们得分成两个组 We need to split into two groups,
幸存者和其他人 the survivors and the others.
旅客名单在哪 Where's the manifest?
别假装演《迷失》了 Oh, stop it with your Lost references.
我们得回去 We need to get back home.
要是我们被困在这了呢 What if we're stuck here?
我们需要监狱系统 We need to start a prison system.
我们被永远困在这里 We'll be stranded here forever,
可我还没看过蓝人乐团呢 and I've never seen Blue Man Group!
伙计们 我们会找到出路的 Guys, guys, we're gonna make it outta here.
放轻松 我们没事的 We gotta relax. We're all gonna be fine.
那是什么 What is that?
如果我们要死在这 我想说句话 I just want to say, if we're gonna die,
我爱你们 I love you guys.
-我也爱你们 -我看过蓝人乐团 - I love you all too. - I did see Blue Man Group.
我只是没看懂 I just didn't get it.
他们为什么不说话 他们有很多共同点啊 Why can't they talk? They have so much in common.
其他人 Others!
抱歉 I'm sorry.
我无意惊吓你们 I didn't mean to startle anybody.
我还以为我的头发已经够假了 And I thought my hair looked fake.
你们可是从格林德尔大老远来到这里啊 Oh, you guys are a long, long way from Greendale.
你怎么知道我们来自格林德尔 How did you know we're from Greendale?
通过皮尔斯的T恤啊 Oh, from Pierce's shirt.
你怎么知道我的名字是皮尔斯 How did you know my name is Pierce?
名字绣在你的格林德尔T恤上 It's embroidered on your Greendale shirt
你在校内商店买的 You got at the student store.
你怎么知道我是从校内商店里买的 How'd you know I got it at the student store?
我算是个灵媒 I'm a touch psychic.
我以前跟你们一样也是格林德尔的学生 Anyway, I used to go to greendale just like you guys
之后来到这里自由地生活 before I came out here to be free.
原来格林德尔的毕业生会是这般下场 So this is how Greendale graduates end up:
成为四处流浪的山里人 as transient mountain men.
没我想象的那么糟糕 Not as bad as I thought.
你们不怀念要啥有啥的生活吗 But don't you miss having stuff?
在这就是要啥有啥啊 Out here, you have everything you need.
而你也可以做你想做的人 And you can be whoever you wanna be.
*在森林中* * Here in the woods, *
*你彻底自由了* * you're totally free, *
*远离尘嚣* * you can live off the land, *
*随心所欲做你自己* * and be who you want to be. *
*我们可以做自己* * We can be our own men. *
*不用非要考第一* * And I don't need an "A" *
*完美母亲的压力消失不见* * The perfect mom pressure would all go away. *
*格林德尔很扯淡* * Greendale is crazy. *
*那只麋鹿也很扯淡* * And so is that moose. *
你好 特洛伊 Hi, Troy.
*格林德尔把人人都搞脱线* * Greendale turns people's screws so loose. *
*实话实说 我们无一幸免* * We're no exception to tell you the truth. *
*所以说这森林对你们来说再合适不过* * Which is why the woods is perfect for all of you. *
*想要保持社会意识不是件简单的事* * Being socially conscious can be really tough. *
*在森林中* * Here in the woods *
*你可以忘掉那些事* * you can forget all that stuff. *
*总是做酷哥 压力太大好讨厌* * I don't like the pressure to always be cool. *
*我不会押韵也要开唱* * I was gonna sing that now I don't have a rhyme. *
*我们都尽了最大的努力* * We all try our hardest. *
*但大学的压力* * But the pressure in college *
*实在太大* * sometimes gets so tremendous. *
*远离格林德尔* * That it would be stupendous *
*自由无限 快乐齐天* * to be free far away from Greendale *
*我喜欢这些浆果* * I really love these berries. *
*它们哪来的* * Where are they from? *
*我的手造了一道彩虹* * My hand just made a rainbow. *
*-我的 -魔力 魔力* * - And my... - Magic, magic *
*那些魔力浆果* * Well, these magical berries *
*使我们精神恍惚* * put us in a drug seq... *
*世界天旋地转* * They make everything swirly *
*那草丛听起来像雪瑞* * Whoa, that bush sounds like Shirley. *
*我们自由自在* * Now we're free *
*远离* * far away *
*格林德尔* * from Greendale *
放飞自己 我的朋友 Be free, my friends.
*-格林德尔* -放飞 * - From Greendale * - Be free.
太感人了 Simply inspiring.
十分钟前 你们一言不发 Ten minutes ago, you weren't even speaking.
现在 你们承认一个陌生男子 And now, you've admitted that a strange man
亲手喂你们奇怪的浆果 hand-fed you psychotropic berries.
手偶心理治疗太给力了 This is puppet therapy work...
-院长 食堂着火了 -加瑞 别闹 - Dean! There is a fire in the cafeteria. - Garrett, not now!
说到哪了 对 我在治愈你们 Where was I? Ah! I was healing you.
继续 Go on.
那邪恶的浆果放松了我们的警惕 Well, those devil berries freed our minds
开始管不住嘴巴 and loosened our tongues.
你的肌肤真美 Your skin is so beautiful
还柔软 and soft.
就像毛毡 It's like felt.
在这里我感到如此自由 I feel so free out here,
能够真正做自己 like I'm my own man.
如果杰夫让我们住在这 If Jeff said we had to live out here,
我绝对同意 I'd totally be down with that.
我也是 Me too.
我能说个秘密吗 Can I tell you guys a secret?
可以 Yeah, sure.
我那天跟孩子们在商店 I was at the grocery store with my kids,
我以为我看见安德烈和别的女人在一起 and I thought I saw Andre walk by with another woman.
我爱女人 I love women.
我去方便下 I'm gonna go take a growler.
我想跟着安德烈和那个女人 Anyway, I wanted to follow Andre and the woman,
于是我把孩子们留在杂志区 so I left my kids at the magazine stand
暂时待一会儿 但不知怎么的 for just a minute, but somehow,
我忘了时间 跟着他俩 I lost track of time and ended up tailing them
一路出了城 all the way out of town.
那人根本不是安德烈 It wasn't even Andre.
最糟的是我忘了我的孩子们 The horrible part is I forgot my kids
把他们丢在商店待了一整夜 and left them all night in the grocery store.
好吧 Well,
又开始了 那种眼神 there y'all go, giving me that look,
把我当做犹大 treating me like Judas,
像朱迪一样审判我 judging me like Judy.
就是那个《法官朱迪》 她审判别人 You know, Judge Judy. She Judges people.
雪瑞 这是我第一次听你说 Shirley, this is the first I've heard of you
你把孩子忘在商店 leaving your kids in a grocery store.
我也是 Me too.
我也不记得你之前讲过 I have no memory of you saying that.
如果你们不知道我的秘密 Well, if you don't know my secret,
那我们干嘛一直这么尴尬 why have we all been so awkward around each other?
我以为大家都知道了我的秘密 I thought everyone heard my secret.
我没听你说过任何事 I didn't hear you say anything.
所以没人知道我那个可怕的秘密 So nobody else heard my terrible secret
关于我 about how I...
有时说话声音会变小 trail off from time to time?
这里的各位都吐露了秘密吗 Did everyone here reveal a secret?
但没人记得别人的秘密 包括我的 And no one remembers anyone else's, including mine?
这些浆果让我们讲个不停 Those berries made us real talky
却听不到别人的话 but not real listen-y.
如果没人听到或记得 So if no one heard or remembers
任何人说的任何事 anything anyone else said...
我们都是清白的 We're in the clear.
-我们都是清白的 -我是个天才 - We're in the clear. - I'm a genius!
-我们都是清白的 -太棒了 - We're in the clear. - Yeah!
我们都是清白的 We're in the clear.
各位 Um, guys?
不用管我 Well, um, don't mind me.
你们的人生没有我这个最差母亲 I'm sure you guys can get on with your lives
也能活得很好 without the worst mom ever.
听起来不错 谁想去看电影 Sounds good. Anyone up for a movie?
阿布蒂 坐下 Abed, sit.
雪瑞 你不用感到羞愧 Shirley, you have nothing to be ashamed of.
没人觉得你是位坏母亲 No one thinks you're a bad mom.
谢了 杰夫 我还是回家吧 Thanks, Jeff, but I'm... I'm just gonna go home now.
雪瑞 等等 Shirley, wait.
我知道怎么做能让你不再这么难过 I think I know how to make you feel a little less horrible.
我喜欢你的建议 说吧 谁也藏了 I like where you're headed. Okay, who's holding?
我有四个浆果 I have four berries,
但我想等看迷幻激光秀时再吃 but I am saving them for laser Floyd.
不 我们要在清醒状态下重新分享秘密 No, we all need to re-share our secrets sober.
天啊 Oh, God.
我们之前都感觉很糟 Look, we were all feeling crappy earlier,
但至少我们都一样 but at least we were feeling crappy together.
可现在只有雪瑞不一样 Shirley is alone now.
这是唯一让我们平等的办法 This is the only way to put us on equal footing.
如果想容易一些 And if it makes it any easier,
我们可以用手偶说话 we can use these puppets.
-好耶 -闭嘴 - Ah, yay! - Shut up.
好吧 Okay.
我发现我的完美另一半 I found the perfect girl for me,
之后我见到了她儿子 and then, I met her kid.
*我说没关系其实是假话* * I said it didn't bother me but truthfully it did. *
*我答应他参加棒球赛* * I promised him I'd make it to a baseball game he had. *
*但我没露面也没再联系* * But I bailed and never called again. *
*我觉得我和我爸一个样* * And now I'm just exactly like my dad. *
*我是个愤青* * I am an activist. *
*这一直是我的选择* * That's always been my choice. *
*其实我只为《美国好声音》投过票* * Truth is I've never voted except when I watch The Voice. *
*我一直沉浸在过去的优秀中* * I was struggling in history I'm normally the best. *
*我让康沃利斯教授摸了我的脚* *I let Cornwallis rub my feet to*
*只为拿到考试答案* * give me all the answers to a test. *
*我是03年学校大火的罪魁祸首* * I caused the Greendale fire of '03, *
*22亩地被火海吞噬* * 55 acres went up in a blaze. *
*只因我点着了一个蚂蚁窝* * All because I burned an ant hill. *
*秘密积压在心里* * This secret inside me *
*挥散不去* * was trapped beyond a doubt, *
*如今最丑恶的我展露无遗* * and now my most terrible secret's out. *
你们在这啊 There you are.
来吧大家伙 Come on, guys.
*我从未和艾萨·凯特共度良宵* * I've never slept with the great Eartha Kitt, *
[1927年出生的歌手]
*只在她巡演大巴上亲热过一次* * we dry humped inside of her tour bus. *
*秘密积压在心里挥散不去* * This secret inside me was trapped beyond a doubt, *
*如今最丑恶的我展露无遗* * and now my most terrible secret's out. *
我想感谢大家如此开诚布公 I wanna thank you all for being so open and honest,
以及手口合一的高度配合 and for syncing your mouth and hand movements.
现在揭露我最可怕的秘密 And now, for my most terrible secret.
我并非是传统意义上的... I am not what you would call traditionally...
等等 阿布蒂 你还没吐露你的秘密 Wait, Abed, you never told us your secret.
没错 That's right.
我那晚没说秘密 I didn't share one that night.
但等我们从树林回来 After we got back from the woods,
大家都很安静 互相逃避眼神接触 everyone was being silent and not making eye contact.
我不知原因 但我还是跟着做了 I didn't know why, so I mirrored your behavior.
谢谢你 杰夫 Thank you, Jeff,
我不觉得你跟你父亲有任何相似 and I don't think you're anything like your father.
照顾好一个孩子就够不容易的了 I don't know how you take care of one kid,
何况你有三个 let alone three.
说得真好 That's nice.
没人觉得我是个风骚的作弊者吗 So nobody thinks I'm a slutty cheater?
没有 No.
没人觉得我是罪犯 Or me as a criminal?
没有 No.
大家对我政治愤青身份的尊重没有减少对吧 Nobody respects me any less as a political activist, right?
我们对你政治愤青身份的尊重程度 The level to which we respect you as a political activist
丝毫没有改变 has definitely not changed.
没错 That's right.
-我就想这么说来着 -非常到位 - That's how I would say it. - Exactly.
再见了 院长 Bye, dean.
-拜拜 -拜拜 院长 - Bye-bye. - Bye, dean.
知识就是欢乐啊 Knowledge is a party.
我再一次解决了别人的问题 Once again, I help fix everyone's problems
却独自一人落寞地回家 only to go home alone.
谁说你是一个人 Who says you have to be alone?
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey.