门没锁 It's open.
瞧瞧咱们 学习小组的第一个成人圣诞派对 Look at us. Our group's first grown-up Christmas party.
谢谢你举办这次派对 希望你不介意 Thanks for hosting. I hope you don't mind.
我带了些东西过来 准备帮你装饰一番 I brought a few things just to make the place
以便显得你这里不这么像短租公寓 look a little less short-term corporate housing.
好吧 我家就是您的艺术大作 Oh, well, mi casa es su art project.
酷 Cool.
我准备在这放点儿东西 Figured just a little something there,
再在那搁点儿玩意儿 a little zhuzh right there.
寥寥数件宝贝 彰显"安妮"风格 Just a few things to add a little Annie.
安妮 我们还有必要再一次谈谈 Annie, do we have to have another talk about
你想跟我玩过家家的这种欲望吗 you wanting to play house with me?
切 才木有咧 Sha. Sha-na-not.
我只是为了派对稍微装饰一下 I'm just decorating for a party.
这窗帘我一看到 就忍不住买了下来 Oh, I saw these curtains, and I couldn't resist.
咱们就挂一晚上 Let's just live with them for a night.
反正可以全额退货 We can totally return them.
就是 全额退货去吧 Oh, let's totally return them.
杰夫 就挂一晚 Jeff. Live with them for one night.
其实 这窗帘在情人节也能用 Actually, these will also work for Valentine's Day,
还有总统日和其它所有需要的日子 Presidents Day, whenever people get to see it.
安妮 这是什么 Annie, what is this?
我知道我们说过不送礼 Oh. I know we said no gifts,
但人家就是忍不住嘛 But I couldn't resist.
你知道这样会让朋友们 You realize you've just put your friends
很尴尬吗 in a very awkward position.
礼物意味着责任 A gift creates obligation.
我不这么想哎 I don't see it that way.
我这么想 我觉得他们也会这么想 Well, I do, and I think the others will too.
圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas.
我知道我们说过不送礼 但我还是忍不住 I know we said no gifts, but I couldn't resist.
是啊 早该想到会变成这样 Oh, who couldn't have seen that coming?
安妮 你把这里装饰得挺不错的呀 Oh, Annie, I love what you did with the place.
我还没收拾完 It's a work in progress.
大家好 一起欢庆圣诞的朋友们 Good tidings, fellow Christmas celebrators.
希望今晚的酒宴完满落幕 And to all a good wassailing.
我知道我们说过不送礼 但我们没忍住 I know we said no gifts, but we couldn't resist.
学习小组集体抵抗力变差了还是怎么着 There's a real problem with resistance in this group.
谢谢你们所有人 Hi. Thank you all so much
邀请我参加平生第一个圣诞节 for inviting me to my first Christmas.
安妮跟我解释过 Oh, Annie explained to me that
"不送礼"就是"要送礼"的意思 "No gifts" Means "Bring gifts."
我懂 "不"就是"要" I'm getting it. No means yes.
这就是圣诞 就这样 So this is Christmas. Just this.
我还指望大家在餐馆里玩《虎胆龙威》 I was hoping we could do a Die Hard in a restaurant.
《虎胆龙威》著名场景
有个叫中富寿司的店 There's a place called Nakatomi Sushi.
Hans Gruber 片中恐怖分子头目
我听说那里的汉斯石斑鱼很有名 I hear the Hans Grouper is to die for.
行了 你们不说话我也懂是什么意思 Come on, people, it's all spelled out in your evites.
我知道你们打开了 对了 我带了礼物 I know you opened them. Oh, I brought gifts.
安妮现在搬进来住了吗 Does Annie live here now?
很好 既然人都到齐了 Okay. Now that we're all here...
等等 皮尔斯呢 Oh, wait. Where's Pierce?
一种行为训练方式
和吉尔伯特参加敏感度训练去了 Oh, sensitivity training with Gilbert.
南非前总统曼德拉传记电影
显然看《成事在人》没用 Apparently watching Invictus didn't do the trick.
好吧 既然人都到齐了 Okay. Well, now that we are all here,
我有些好消息和坏消息 I have some good news and some bad news.
很好 是因为黑甘草糖吗 Great. Black licorice?
我得先说坏消息 I have to start with the bad news.
是关于我们历史课论文的 It's about our history paper.
据可靠的小道消息 咱们的论文挂了 I heard through back channels we got a failing grade.
-什么 -肯德拉告诉我的 - What? - Kendra told me.
她在康沃利斯教授手下干活 She does assistant work for professor Cornwallis.
谁说不是呢 I'll bet she does.
我们挂了 太悲剧了 We failed? This is terrible.
我需要通过论文才能毕业 I need that paper to graduate.
是谁的部分没写好 Who screwed up their section?
-杰夫 这不重要 -对我很重要 - Jeff, it doesn't matter. - No, it matters to me.
我要知道是谁害我不能提早毕业 I want to know who cost me my early graduation.
-我没做错事 -我写得很认真 - I didn't do anything wrong. - I worked really hard.
大家没必要推卸责任 Guys, there's no need to point fingers,
因为我还没告诉你们好消息 because I haven't told you the good news.
我邀请教授来参加我们今晚的派对了 I invited the professor to our party tonight.
-安妮 -什么 这算什么好消息 - Annie! - What? How is that better?
不不 安妮说得对 这真的有用 No, no, Annie's right. This could work.
我是说 成绩还有改动的机会 I mean, the grade isn't etched in stone.
那些英国人就喜欢跟自己的学生联络感情 I mean, these British guys like to socialize with their students.
我们只要让他玩得尽兴就好 We just need to show him a good time,
他说笑话咱哈哈 他喜欢啥咱就喜欢啥 laugh at his jokes, love whatever he loves,
然后等今晚一过 and by the end of the night
我敢打赌 我们就能让成绩回升到"C" I bet you we can get that grade back up to a "C."
谁知道呢 甚至有可能是"A" Who knows? Maybe even an "A."
或者是些更现实点的 Or something realistic.
就这样 我们欢快的节日派对 And just like that our pleasant holiday party
变成了一次危险紧张的秘密任务 turned into a tense, high-stakes secret mission.
不准化装 不准发出奇怪的声音 No costumes. No funny voices.
不过为了让故事前后呼应 But, for the purpose of story symmetry,
我建议我们在这安静地等教授过来 I suggest we wait here silently until the professor arrives.
接下来就靠这唯一真正的转折点了 It's the only real plot point we need next.
搞什 这太荒谬 Oh, what... this is ridic...
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翻译：尼克白 大补哥
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时间轴：Poxle
校对：夕橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
《废柴联盟》 第四季第十集
抱歉我不能待太久 I'm sorry. I can't stay long.
我女儿还在城里等着我 I've got my daughter in town.
抱歉我也不想这么无礼 Didn't want to appear rude.
我应该带礼物吗 Was I expected to bring a gift?
不用 其他人也不用 No. Nor was anyone else.
让我先带您去吧台转转吧 Can I show you around, starting with the bar?
这儿真可爱 很有女性气息 A lovely place. Very feminine.
你听到他用"女性气息"这个词侮辱我们了吗 Did you hear him use "Feminine" as an insult?
典型的大男子主义 Typical phallo-centric worldview.
我肯定他让我们不及格 I bet he gave us a failing grade
是因为他看得出我写的部分 because he could tell my section
带有强烈而独立的 was written by a strong, independent...
失陪一下 我刚刚看到了一位老朋友 Would you excuse me? I've just seen an old friend.
快点回来 Hurry back soon.
阿布蒂 我给你提早准备了圣诞礼物 Hey, Abed, got you an early Christmas gift.
我知道不在餐馆玩《虎胆龙威》 I know you were bummed about not
会让你很无聊 doing Die Hard in a restaurant.
还有你最近的离婚[电影剧情] And your recent divorce.
致阿布蒂 呀呀个呸 圣诞老人 To Abed, yippee-ki-yay, Father Christmas.
yippee-ki-yay 《虎胆龙威》男主角口头禅
我本来想写"把鞋脱掉" I tried to get you "Taking off shoes",
但我不知道该怎样包起来 but I didn't know how to wrap it.
《虎胆龙威》男主角名
约翰·麦克连的背心 John Mcclane's tank top?
你真会挑圣诞礼物 特洛伊 You're getting really good at Christmas, Troy.
这是麦卡伦18年陈酿威士忌 It's Macallan Eighteen.
我喜欢喝纯的 你不介意吧 I like to serve it neat if that's okay with you?
你们美国哪 What, in America?
你们不是应该混着樱桃汽水 Don't you mix it with cherry pop
或者杰克干酪一起喝吗 or Monterey Jack cheese?
教授 这有些火腿蜜瓜条 Professor, these are melon slices with ham.
和三文鱼芦笋卷 And asparagus wrapped in salmon.
看来有人准备了餐前小吃 I see somebody's been attempting tapas.
您说的一定是我 Oh, that would be me.
我觉得料理就像历史的窗户 I think cuisine is like a window into history.
我相信是 I believe it was the hun...
其实我是在和女士们说话 Actually, you know, I was talking to the ladies.
那我就不打扰你们三个了 Well, I'll let... I'll leave you three be, all right?
布雷塔 Britta.
听着 教授貌似对一些 Look, the professor seems to be responding
我没有的东西感兴趣 to things that I don't have,
所以你得加入他们 展示你的魅力 So you gotta get in there and jiggle something.
他讨厌我 He hates me.
他这一年来一直在叫我"天残芭比" He called me Broken Barbie all year.
如果我们想改成绩 Well, we're all gonna have to work it
那每个人都应该出一份力 if we're gonna get that grade changed.
老实交待 你写的部分烂透了 对吧 Be honest. Your section sucked, right?
不可能 No way.
我把整本关于伯罗奔尼撒战争的书都看完了 I read an entire book on the Peloponnesian War.
你居然还念对了 Wow. You pronounced it right.
看来得把这盆脏水泼在其他人头上了 Then someone else had to tank it for us to get that "F."
其他人 Someone else?
-能保密吗 -能 - Can you keep a secret? - Yeah.
-我那部分是瞎写的 -神马 - I blew my section off. - What?
汤姆·威茨来这里做私密演出 Well, there was a secret Tom Waits show in town,
于是我算了比账 So I did the math.
论文有七个部分 There's seven sections to the paper.
安妮能拿到A 皮尔斯花钱找尼尔代笔 Annie gets an "A," Pierce buys his from Neil,
也非常稳 so that's solid.
你们几个能拿到B和C And then you guys get "B"s and "C"s,
所以我估计即使我那部分挂了 so, I figured if my section gets an "F,"
咱们最次也能拿到C- The worst we could end up with is a "C-minus."
你那部分一个字都没写 So you just left your section blank?
当然不是 No, of course not.
我复制黏贴了《战争有什么好处》的歌词 I copied and pasted the lyrics to War, What Is It Good For?
-我的天呐 -嘘 - Good god. - Shh.
你的朋友们还都指望着你呢 Your friends were counting on you.
这是他们的错 Well, that's their fault.
我精心培育了一付 I have carefully cultivated a persona
"你们别指望我"的表情 that screams, "You're on your own."
这是我鄙视的表情 That's my judgey face.
明白 我会亡羊补牢的 Noted. I'll make it right.
我重新来过 I'm going back in.
情况怎么样 How's it going?
他让我轻摇香臀到厨房给他添酒 Well, he asked me to get my fit bum to the kitchen for a refill,
情况不错 对吧 So that's good, right?
凯文在给他表演扑克魔术 Kevin's showing him a card trick.
什么 天呐 What? Oh, God.
是纸牌[方片]吗 Is this a card?
不 是红心Q No, it isn't. Queen of hearts.
不 我在问你这是纸牌吗 No, I'm asking, is this a card?
凯文 你知道我们有气泡膜包装吗 Hey, Kevin, did you know that we have bubble wrap?
-什么 -能捏出啪啪啪的包装纸 - What? - Poppy poppy paper.
我太喜欢了 能让我啪啪几个吗 I so enjoy that. Do you mind if I pop some?
尽情捏去吧 Oh, go crazy.
昌癔症 Changnesia.
你为什么要纵容他呢 I mean, why do you indulge that idiot?
我一开始也非常不理解 Oh, I, too, was skeptical at first,
但我现在对此表示同情 but now I actually have some sympathy.
塔西佗[古罗马元老院议员]曾说 I believe it was Tacitus who said...
翁格先生 你意图舔我菊的心思 You know, Mr. Winger, your pathetic attempts
实在是太明显了 to suck up to me are a wee bit transparent.
我只能将此事归结为 I mean, I can only surmise that it's something to do
因为你们的论文 我只给了个C- with the "C-minus" I gave you for that final paper.
C- "C-minus"?
谢谢 这是... Oh, thank you. Is this the...
失陪一下 If you'll excuse us.
安妮 他给了我们C- Annie, he's giving us a "C-minus."
-是啊 -C-不是挂科啊 - Right. - A "C-minus" is not a failing grade.
对我来说是 To me, it is.
我本该是最优毕业生 I'm on a valedictorian track,
得C-我就无法在毕业典礼上致告别辞了 and a "C-minus" means I fail to get valedictorian.
你毁了我们的圣诞晚餐 You ruined our Christmas dinner
就为了在最笨学校里 so you could be crowned the smartest person
做最聪明的人吗 at the dumbest school?
我之所以同意给那个装逼犯舔菊 Look, the only reason I agreed to kiss that pompous anglo's ass
是因为我以为咱们挂科了 was because I thought we were getting an "F."
好消息 翁格先生 Good news, Mr. Winger.
你可以把唇从我的菊上挪走了 You may remove your lips from my buttocks,
因为你刚刚成功的 Because you have in fact succeeded
改变了你们的分数 in changing your grade.
-现在是F了 -神马 - It's now an "F." - what?
你要挂我们 You're "F"-ing us?
教授 请给我们几分钟 Professor, if you could just give us a minute,
这是一个重大的误会 this has been a terrible misunderstanding,
我相信咱们一定能把这事解决好 and I'm sure we can get this whole thing sorted out.
去卧室 马上 Bedroom. Now.
杰夫害我们挂科了 Jeff just got us an "F."
-我们不是已经挂了吗 -不 我们被骗了 - I thought we had an "F." - No, we were lied to.
这不好笑 那家伙太吓人 This isn't fun. That guy's creepy.
对 那老东西简直就是真人版的唐老鸭 Yeah, if there's a human version of Scrooge McDuck, this guy is it.
都是因为杰夫把他惹恼了 This wouldn't have happened if Jeff hadn't taunted him.
不 要不是因为你觉得C-不够好 No, it wouldn't have happened if you hadn't decided
这倒霉催的事情也就不会发生了 a "C-minus" isn't good enough.
你什么时候才能成熟起来 When are you gonna grow up and realize
认识到毕业后分数并不重要 that grades don't matter outside of school?
这种谎言是用来糊弄 That's a lie they tell dumb people
那些蓝领工人的 when they're fitting them for work boots.
我只需要及格毕业就好 All we needed was a passing grade,
我们拿到了 你却让我们卷进这破事 and we had it until you dragged us into this mess.
-鄙视的表情 -好吧 - Judgey face. - All right.
我去跟他君子对君子 I will talk to him, man to man,
看能否拿回我们的C- and try to get our "C-minus" Back.
安妮 我们只能做到这些了 Annie, it's the best we can do right now.
-让我来处理 -放开我 - Let me handle this. - Let go of me,
你这个大毛疯子 you big, hairy nutter!
我在向你们证明我的价值 I'm proving my worth to you guys.
要我杀掉他吗 Do you want me to kill him?
凯文 坏坏 Kevin bad.
我有昌癔症 I have Changnesia.
我不是狗狗 I'm not a dog.
教授 我们非常抱歉 Professor, we're so sorry.
显然 凯文犯错了 Obviously, Kevin made a mistake.
不见得 Or did he?
不见得神马 Why are you "Or did he"-ing him?
我只是说 教授被绑得死死的 I'm just saying the professor can't get any more tied up,
我们也被挂科了 and we can't get any less than an "F,"
咱们看看能否从长计议 so let's just take a beat and think this through.
这比在餐馆里玩《虎胆龙威》强多了 Okay, this is way better than Die Hard in a restaurant.
翁格先生 你的计划是什么 So what exactly is your plan here, Mr. Winger?
我肯定不会改变你们的分数 I mean, I'm certainly not gonna change your grade,
饿死我需要好几天时间 And it'll take several days to starve me
因为我刚才吃了很多点心 as I really loaded up on that dreadful tapas.
但你已经改过我们的分数了 教授 Oh, but you already have changed it, professor.
你挂掉了我们 You just dropped it to an "F,"
说明论文的内容 thereby proving the work on the page
不是你评分的唯一标准 Is not the only factor you consider.
要感谢凯文完全错误理解 And now, thanks to Kevin's complete misreading
当前形势 我们掌握了很多筹码 of the situation, we have our moment of maximum leverage,
那我们来说说这个F so let's just talk about this "F."
也许能变成C- 或者天知道 Maybe it can come up to a "C-minus," or, who knows,
也许变成A Perhaps an "A."
你们这是在犯罪 This is actually a felony.
我一定会报警 I mean, I will call the police,
你们都会进监狱 And you will all go to jail.
我来解释一下你为何不会那么做 Let me explain to you why you won't do that.
第一 你被绑着 First, he's tied up.
第一 你被绑着 第二 First, you're tied up, and second,
谁知道这公寓里发生了什么事呢 who can really be sure what happened in this apartment?
也许你攻击我们其中一人 Maybe you attacked one of us.
是吗 打斗的痕迹在哪呢 Oh, really? Where are the signs of struggle?
你喝了太多威士忌 酒后无德 You were full of scotch when things took a dark turn.
我们都知道你在牛津时跟女学生搞的破事 We'd all heard about your troubles with co-eds back at Oxford,
但悲剧再次重现了 But it was becoming all too real.
你在屋子里晃来晃去 As you lumbered around the room,
我们以为你要非礼我或者布雷塔 we had to assume you were coming after me or Britta.
或是雪瑞 Or Shirley,
我之所以刚才没提到她 who I didn't mention earlier,
是因为她在性关系上完全力压你 because she intimidates you sexually.
-谢谢 -重点是 - Thank you. - Point being,
还是不要想报警的事了 let's just take the idea of the police
好不好 教授 off the table, shall we, professor?
好啊 不过你觉得你能保证 Fine. You think you can hold this group
你们之间就不会出什么岔子吗 together without anyone cracking?
当然 Oh, we're solid.
帝国可都是从内部瓦解的 Empires are always destroyed from within.
而我坐在这舒服的破椅子上都能证明这件事 And I can prove it to you from the comparative comfort of this tacky chair.
谁先给我松绑我就给谁A I will give an "A" right now to the first person that unties me.
其他人挂科 The rest of you will fail.
待在原地 Stay where you are.
太赞了 而且都是发生在真实世界里的 This is amazing and possibly all in real time.
别吵了 别听他乱说 Everybody, stop it. No one listen to him.
教授是想对我们使用反间计 The professor's job is to make us turn on one another.
只要我们团结一心 We hold all the cards
就不会中计 as long as we stay united.
凯文 你是我们的人 And, Kevin, you're one of us.
-谢谢 -好吧 - Thank you. - All right.
谁会成为背叛者呢 Who will be the betrayer...
要强的洛丽塔 The type-A Lolita,
-被利用的人妻 -是我吗 - The put-upon housewife... - Is that me?
或者是你 毫无情感的怪胎穆斯林 Or how about you, the odd, emotionless Muslim?
我是说你不至于得F啊 I mean, come on, you don't deserve an "F."
你知道的 因为你的缺陷 And you know that, because of your impairment,
他们会原谅你的 they'll forgive you anyway.
说得对 不过我不是你的最佳攻击目标 All true, but I'm probably not your best target.
你不介意的话 我打算来点爆米花 If you don't mind, I'd like to get some popcorn.
通常情况下 反派需要时间来铺垫 Typically, it takes a while for villains to ramp up.
我回来之前不要念独白哦 Promise not to monologue till I get back?
放弃吧 教授 你没有把柄 Give it up, professor. You got nothing.
我有的是 Oh, I've got plenty.
还是放了他 就这样算了吧 Why don't we just let him go and be done with this?
圣诞节嘛 还得拆礼物呢 It's Christmas. We have gifts to unwrap.
你没发现吗 不能松绑 不然有人会得A的 Don't you see? We can't now or someone will get the "A."
大家都不想坑害小组成员好吗 No one wants to screw the group.
看见没 教授 Oh, you see that, professor?
你的提议使你更难被松绑 Your offer actually made it harder for you to get untied,
因为没人想做背叛者 because no one wants to be the betrayer.
我得提醒你 翁格先生 Beware the ides of March, Mr. Winger.
每个人都希望成为背叛者 Everyone wants to be the betrayer.
你的把戏是什么 What the hell is your game?
我想教你历史 I'm trying to teach you history.
你将跟其他自大的国家一样败得一塌涂地 Your failure will be the same as any self-obsessed nation.
只有在顺风的情况下 你们才会关心彼此 You only care about each other when you're winning.
在罗马侵略半个世界时 罗马人无比爱国 The Romans loved Rome when it was raping half the world,
但是当汉尼拔冲过来 but when Hannibal came charging over the alps,
罗马人背叛了自己 the romans turned on themselves
速度那叫一个快 都来不及说"合众为一" as quickly as you can say, "E pluribus unum."
明明是"合屁为一"哎 I'm pretty sure it's "Anus."
通常情况下 裂缝是藏在同盟中的 Usually, the cracks are hidden within the alliances.
我看看 So let's see.
所有七人组 In any group of seven,
都会有点情感纠葛 there's bound to be some romantic entanglements.
我注意到脑子不正常的金发妞儿 See, I've noticed that the damaged blonde
正在跟孩子气黑娃约会 is dating the childish black one,
我在想这个配对有人不满吗 I wonder, does anyone take issue with that pairing?
你在瞎扯 没人反对 You're fishing, professor. No one has anything
布雷塔和特洛伊约会 against Britta and Troy dating.
这话从杰夫口中说出来 And that's coming from Jeff,
要知道我们以前交往过 and we used to date, so...
布雷塔 信息就是筹码 Britta, information is ammo.
我们那不是交往 And what we did was not dating.
小矛盾产生了 A little friction.
那总会发展成冲突的 That usually indicates heat.
冲突 没有冲突 Heat? There's no heat.
有冲突我就会紧张 If there was heat, I'd be nervous,
紧张我就会叨逼叨 and, if I was nervous, I'd be rambling,
而我绝对没有叨逼叨 所以没有冲突 and I'm definitely not rambling, so there's no heat.
我们找到三角恋了 Ah, well, I think we found our triangle.
感谢你 特洛伊 欢迎加入战局 Thank you and welcome to the party, Troy.
他知道我的名字 He knows my name.
伙计们 稳住 Guys, keep it together.
我错过了精彩剧情 是不是 I missed something great, didn't I?
够了 闹够了 Enough. It's time to stop arsing about
说正经的 and get serious.
小组里有个人非得A不可 So let's hear it from the one person
拿F是万万不肯不能接受 who needs that "A" the most
并且立志要当最优毕业生 and can't possibly abide by an "F,"
我们来听听这个人的想法 the one person on pace to become class valedictorian.
我绝不会背叛小组 I would never turn against the group.
不是说你 埃迪生小姐 I'm not talking about you, Miss Edison.
什么 阿布蒂 What? Abed?
-杰夫 -是我吗 - Jeff? - Is it me?
老天 布雷塔 Oh, my God, Britta?
首先 那人是我 其次 First of all, it's me, and, second of all,
你竟然先想到布雷塔 you put Britta ahead of me?
真伤自尊 None taken.
老天 雪瑞 Oh, my God, Shirley.
你为什么不告诉我 Why didn't you ever tell me about it?
我认为这不是比赛 I didn't think it was a competition.
你当然会这么做 Oh, of course you'd play it that way
这样我会招架不及 so I wouldn't be expecting...
去教堂礼拜的三孩儿之妈很聪明让人惊讶吗 A church-going mother of three to be smart, huh?
埃迪生小姐 决定时间到了 不是吗 So, Miss Edison, it's decision time, isn't it?
安妮 别听他的 Annie, don't listen to him.
拿了F你还怎么当致辞的最优毕业生 You know you can't make valedictorian with an "F,"
只需向前一步 你就能除掉竞争对手 and you can eliminate your competition in one easy step.
你又没有后顾之忧 不是吗 What else do you have to lose, my dear?
我是说他们不是来支持你的 I mean, these people, they're not here to support you.
他们已经因为你毁了派对记恨你了 I mean, they already hate you for this disaster of a party.
不包括这个人 Not this guy.
不 我不能 No. I can't.
放弃吧 教授 你招数已尽 Give it up, professor. You've fired all your bullets.
不 我还有一招 No, I've got one more bullet left,
老管用了 and it's a doozy.
翁格先生 你能告诉大家 Mr. Winger, would you like to tell your friends
为什么小组成绩这么差吗 why they did so poorly on this paper,
要不我来说 or shall I?
-杰夫 -杰夫 - Jeff? - Jeff?
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey.
我那部分写砸了 I tanked my section.
我知道你们会努力 I knew you guys would all work hard,
所以我就尽情拖后腿了 so I just coasted.
汤姆·威茨 Tom waits was...
你害我拿不到最优 You cost me valedictorian.
他害我拿不到最优 这一拳该我打 He cost me valedictorian. That was my punch.
汤姆·威茨 Tom Waits!
天啊 Oh, my God.
杰夫你有奶味糖豆吗 Jeff, do you have any milk duds?
杰夫瑞 我知道你在家 Jeffrey, I know you're in there.
我闻得到你哦 I can smell you.
我玩的声音太大了吗 Did I have the game on too loud?
你还好吗 Is everything okay?
我正与我的两位闺蜜共度良宵 I was just spending an evening
雷佐利和埃尔斯[《妙女神探》] with my two irresistible lady friends, Rizzoli and Isles,
突然我听见 等等 when I heard... wait a minute.
-你们搞毛呢 -不是这样的 - What the hell is going on in here? - No, don't!
我能解释的 I can explain.
不用解释了 No explanation necessary.
下次你再准备开派对不叫我 杰夫瑞 Next time you decide to have a party without me, Jeffrey,
至少在我去上健身课时再开嘛 at least have the decency to do it when I'm in spin class.
我好歹是节日主题派对的弄潮儿 I'm a blast at holiday-themed parties.
-他去哪了 -教授呢 他走了吗 - Where the hell is he? - Professor? Did he leave?
我干嘛要走呢 Why in God's name would I leave?
好戏才刚刚开始 This is just getting interesting.
你们中有人给我松了绑 Now, one of you untied me.
我在想会是谁 I wonder who it was.
谁是本尼迪克特·阿诺德 Who is the Benedict Arnold,
北美独立战争优秀将领 为奢华生活背叛革命果实
这段传奇中真正的英雄 the true hero of this story?
不会吧 我们找出背叛者后 Oh, no, what's gonna happen when we find out
-会怎样 -你为什么这么害怕 - who betrayed us? - I wonder why you're so scared.
不是我干的 It wasn't me.
能不能就当又是闹鬼了呢 Can we just say a ghost did it again?
你给我们成绩 我们就去找叛徒 We're gonna find out who did it when we get our grade.
不行 我们现在就要找 No, we'll have to find out now.
否则这门课就没上完 Otherwise, the lesson isn't complete.
课早就上完了 教授 But the lesson is complete, professor.
你知道你今晚教给我们什么吗 You know what you taught us tonight?
就是王国会倾倒 That, yes, empires fall,
但我们不是帝王 but we're no empire.
我们只是一群残缺且自私的人 We're just a bunch of flawed, selfish people.
这就是我们的弱点 And that's not our weakness.
是我们的力量 It's our strength.
我们唯一有把握的是 The one thing that we can count on
任何时候我们六人中有人犯了错 at any given moment is that the six of us
我们都会一起承担后果 are paying for a mistake made by one of us.
这意味着任何时候 And that means, at any given moment,
我们中有人搞砸了 one of us is screwing up so badly,
他或她都能原谅下一个搞砸的人 that he or she is gonna forgive whoever screws up next.
现在我要做一件屋大维从没做过的事 Now I'm gonna do something that Octavian never would...
没错 那书我读了 Yeah, I read the book.
我要说不管是谁给教授松了绑 I'm gonna say that whoever untied the professor...
我都不在乎 I don't give a crap.
因为不管那是谁 Because whoever it was,
我知道你都是跟我一样残缺自私软弱 I know it was some flawed, selfish, weak,
且无药可救的人 hopeless soul like me.
完全是叛徒的宣言 Exactly what the betrayer would say.
好吧 混蛋 如果是我 Fine, dick, if it was me,
我会宁可不要A 也要再把你绑起来吗 I'm gonna lose my "A" by tying you up again.
给我过来 Get over here.
很疼的 好疼好疼 That's hurting. That's hurting.
如果你不介意 Now, if you'll excuse us,
我们要拆礼物了 we have some gifts to open.
先拆我的 先拆我的 Ooh, mine first, mine first.
女士们 Milady.
凯文 这些礼物是你自己包的吗 Kevin, did you wrap these presents yourself?
我再说一遍 我不是狗狗 Once again, I'm not a dog.
给你 Zoink.
给你 Doink.
凯文 你是怎么打结的 Kevin, how do you tie a knot?
很简单啦 Really simple.
就这样 So you go...
摆成兔耳朵的形状 Make a little rabbit ear like so,
一群小孩子排队走 then the kids go marching down the well.
我的天啊 Oh...my...God.
教授 你根本就没被绑住 Professor, you were never tied up.
什么 What?
你想让我说什么 What do you want me to say?
说我是因为孤单才这样做 That I did it because I'm lonely?
说我女儿不在本地 That my daughter isn't in town?
她从来不来看我 That she never comes to see me
因为她觉得我太爱操纵人 because she finds me too manipulative?
你可以说你对发生的一切感到抱歉 Or you could say you're sorry for the whole thing.
是的 这样说很对 Yes, I suppose that would be accurate.
所以为了补偿你对我们造成的 And that, as compensation for the mental anguish
精神损失 你要给我们A you caused us, you'll give us an "A."
杰夫 太贪心了吧 Jeff. Overreaching?
好吧 你可以分别给我们打分 Fair enough. Maybe you can grade us separately.
这样 雪瑞和安妮要得到A That way, Shirley and Annie can get their "A"s.
不 杰夫瑞 他可以给我们F No, Jeffrey, he can give us an "F"
也可以给我们A or he can give us an "A,"
但我们的成绩应该一样 but we should all get the same grade.
老天爷 别过分了 God's sake, don't rub it in.
好吧 看在你们将我从每年 Very well. Seeing as you saved me
充斥着李子布丁 烧鹅和更新遗书活动的 from my yearly Christmas tradition of plum pudding,
传统圣诞节中解救出来的份上 roasted goose, and updating my suicide note...
我想可以给你们个C I suppose I could give you a "C".
C+ Plus.
圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas.
*铃铛响 铃铛响* *Jingle bell, jingle bell*
*铃儿响叮当* *Jingle bell rock*
*铃儿摇摇又晃晃* *Jingle bells swing*
*铃铛响叮当* *And jingle bells ring*
安妮 Annie!
《巧克力蛋糕圣经》
天啊 Oh, my God.
《猫咪事件》
格林德尔社区大学
真棒 Wow. That's really great.
好吧 All right.
啪啪泡泡纸 Oh, poppy poppy paper.
里面有礼物呢 No, there's a gift in there.
真棒 Yeah.
黄油面条 我的最爱 Buttered noodles. My favorite.
24盒派对装 黄油面条
《血液喷溅分析学》
顺便说一下 我没给你们买礼物 By the way, i didn't get anyone gifts,
所以我送给你们的礼物 so my gift to you all
就是明年你们可以指使我 is you get to lord it over me for the next year.
傻瓜 义务不是礼物 No, stupid, a gift doesn't create an obligation.
送礼物才是义务 It's the obligation that's a gift.
我得去嘘嘘了 I gotta drop a deuce.
一会儿见 See you guys.
时空探长俱乐部
喂 我是昌 Hey, it's Chang.
没有 他们没被开除 No, they're not expelled.
我还得找机会下手 I have to do something else.
我没法总生你们的气嘛 I couldn't stay mad at you guys.
来 我本来想留到圣诞节当天再送的 Here. I was gonna save these for the real Christmas day,
谁叫你们等不及了嘛 but these guys were getting antsy.
你好 Hi, there.
这是奥古斯特 August.
这是詹姆斯 And this one is James.
这是菲奥娜 And this one is Fiona.
这两只是杰夫瑞 And these two guys are Jeffrey.
在如此温馨的时刻 At nice times like this,
我好奇在最黑暗的平行空间会发生什么 I wonder what's happening in the darkest timeline.
什么空间 Timeline?
阿布蒂 没有什么黑暗平行空间 Abed, there are no dark timelines.
法官大人 我也许失去了得力助手 Your Honor, I may not have a right arm,
但我不会失去捍卫真理的勇气 but I am armed with what's right.
我的当事人埃迪生小姐也许抢劫了几家药店 My client Miss Edison did rob several drug stores,
她也捅伤了几个药剂师 and, yes, she did stab several pharmacists,
但更大的犯罪是什么呢 but let's talk about the bigger crime,
是如此美丽的人被社会驱逐 that someone so beautiful has been removed from society.
埃迪生小姐 我宣布你正式 Miss Edison, you are hereby released
被格林德尔疯人院释放 from Greendale Insane Asylum.
你确定我们的年龄差不是问题吗 Are you sure you don't have a problem with our age difference?
是的 我甚至希望你更年轻 Yeah, I wish you were even younger.
来吧 大家都在等着呢 Now, come on, the others are waiting.
我们还要去摧毁最美好的平行空间呢 We've got a prime timeline to destroy.