杰夫 我们已经认识很久了吧 Jeff, we've known each other a long time, right?
你一直很尊敬我 You've come to respect me.
-当然 -很快你就要失望了 - Sure. - Well, get ready to stop.
既然你已经搞过布雷塔了 Please help me seduce Britta
就帮我勾引一下她呗 now that you've finished doing it with her.
拜托 拜托嘛 Please, please...
你真喜欢过布雷塔吗 Do you even really like Britta?
你现在喜欢她只不过因为她不喜欢你 It seems like you like her because she doesn't like you.
你见过会喜欢我的女性吗 杰夫 Have you met the women that do like me, Jeff?
我也没见过 不过相信我 是她们不好 Neither have I, but trust me, they're bad people.
好吧 Fine.
要想接近布雷塔 就必须像她一样思考 To get near Britta, think like Britta.
拿一份发给校园嬉皮士的免费报纸 Grab one of those free papers for hippies on the quad,
翻开重大事件那页 go to the calendar page,
然后去找最悲剧的... and find a cause so tragic...
你最好还是记下来 are you writing this down?
好的 我们已经确认 Okay, we have confirmation that all the bones
橄榄球场上的所有骨头已经清理完毕 have been removed from the football field.
而且我们都同意在求职招聘会上 And we agree that teachers should get
应该先对教师进行十分钟提前培训 a 10-minute head start at the job fair.
还有其他提议吗 Any other items?
今晚是周五 It's Friday night.
大家准备做什么 What's everybody doing?
在河滨「前沿」剧院有一场慈善演出 Oh, there's a benefit show at the Forefront Theater
是为了食不果腹的孩子们举行的 in riverside for starving children
他们还是腭裂儿童[兔唇] with cleft palates.
我要去「拳拳踢战警」重新开拍的首映式 I'm gonna crash the premiere of the Kickpuncher reboot
而且会扮成原版主角造型 dressed like classic Kickpuncher.
他们不应该重新设计主角服装 They shouldn't have redesigned that costume.
你们可以选择当鸵鸟 请随意 Keep your heads in the sand if you want.
邓肯教授 我没想到你也对这种事感兴趣 Professor Duncan, I didn't know that cause interested you.
腭裂儿童很可怜的 布雷塔 Well, it's starving children with cleft palates, Britta.
我怎么可能不关注呢 What part would you have me be disinterested in?
前沿剧院吗 Forefront theater?
什么时候 我要去 What time? I'm going.
-我也要去 -我也是 - I'm going too. - Me too.
患有腭裂的孩子们应该多吃 不应该挨饿 Kids with cleft palates should have extra food, not less.
我也去 I'm in.
我跟人约了一起吃晚餐 I have...dinner plans.
是吗 那你好好享用吧 Yeah, make sure it's a hearty meal.
求解围啊 Help me out here.
你确定你是最需要帮助的吗 翁格 Are you really the one that needs help here, Winger?
我们要不要给「杰夫基金会」捐点款呢 Yeah, should we write a check to the Jeff foundation?
好吧 那我也去吧 Okay. Maybe I'll go too.
对嘛 至少应该去一下 Well, it's the least you can do.
是啊 帮助别人的感觉很好 Yeah, feels good to help.
上帝与你同在 God bless you.
那就七点半见吧 Cool, so 7:30?
翻译：青椒 Nova
翻译：大卫熊 宁馨儿
时间轴：Poxle
校对：夕橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
废柴联盟 第五季第七集
■
本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译 禁止用作任何商业盈利行为
你看懂了吗 我似乎没懂 Did you get it? I don't think I got it.
那些蚂蚁代表人类 Well, the ants were people.
蚁后是石油公司 The queen ant was an oil company.
所以是因为蜜蜂生来有合作精神 Okay, so it was about our marginalized perceptions
导致我们出现了边缘化的观念吗 as drones being born into a corporate hive-mind?
是吧 Yeah.
-去麦当劳不 -我刚想说这个呢 - Mcdonald's? - Oh, I was just thinking about that.
好饿 Hungry.
喂 Hello?
艾丽珊德拉 我现在不方便说话 Okay, Alessandra, I can't talk right now.
刚从演出现场出来 I just got out of a show.
等一等 Okay, hold on.
怎么 Well?
如果你就是打算吼我 那为什么... Look, if you're gonna just yell at me, why...
你为什么要这样 Why are you doing this?
这不光是你的事 好吗 This is not happening to you, okay?
这是我们共同的事 It's happening to us!
是你打给我的啊 Well, you called me!
好啊 那这件事由我来做 Well, then let me be the one to do this!
我妈妈经常跟我讲她杀掉一只鸡的故事 Uh, my mother used to tell a story about how she killed a chicken.
1964年 在香港 Hong kong, 1964.
尹恩 你喜欢看戏吗 So you like the theatre, Ian?
这还用说吗 Oh, are you kidding?
我在大学里经常头戴假发 身穿紧身衣呢 I spent half my days at university in wigs and tights.
不然也结交不了演员朋友 You don't do that without befriending some actors.
天哪 是米克尔 Oh, my God, Michael.
我做无政府主义者的时候认识的他 I know Michael from my anarchist days.
他肯定会发觉我已经变了 God, he's gonna smell the sellout on me.
你好 你们怎么样 Hey. How's it goin'?
-我的天哪 -真不可思议 - Oh, my God. - Oh, my God.
什么情况 What's going on?
我不喜欢这位「米哥儿」 I don't like this "My-kale" guy.
他肯定也不喜欢自己 I don't think he likes himself,
不然不会叫这种奇怪的名字 or he'd pronounce it "Michael."
她是不是特别棒 Isn't she great?
她身上有着我喜爱的一切美国特征 She's everything I love about America.
勇敢 自以为是 人生高峰刚结束 Bold, opinionated, just past her peak,
开始考虑是否该降低自己的要求 and starting to realize that she has to settle for less.
当她需要一个肩膀来依靠的时候 And the moment she needs a shoulder to cry on,
怎么样 邓肯手帕为您服务 Huh? The Duncan handkerchief.
好吧 我先走了 Well, I'm out.
你继续围着我的前任打转吧 Have fun circling my former lover,
看她什么时候会哭 waiting for her to cry.
我本来想说好听点的 I tried to make that sound good,
但这就是你的结局 but that's what you're doin'.
你们今晚的付出 代表你们都是英雄 Uh, you're all heroes tonight for making a difference,
我要向各位介绍我的一位英雄 but I want to introduce one of my heroes.
布雷塔·派利 Britta Perry.
她是我见过最勇敢 最热情的行动家 She is the bravest, most passionate activist
能够跟随她的步伐 我很荣幸 I have ever had the honor of imitating.
所以 请她喝一杯吧 So, hey, buy her a drink.
你有什么想说的吗 布雷塔 Anything you wanna add, Britta?
天哪 谢谢 我不是英雄 Oh. Wow, um, I'm not a hero.
我高中辍学 还当过酒保 I'm a high school dropout and a bartender,
别听我的 so don't listen to me.
也别听任何人的 Or anyone.
聆听自己内心的声音 Just listen to yourself,
对自己一定要诚实 and make sure you tell yourself the truth.
今天见到你很高兴 不如你就先... Well, it was... it was great seeing you, so...
我留下来喝一杯吧 I might stay for one drink.
-为什么 -我喜欢喝酒 - Why? - I like to drink.
-是吗 -没错 - Oh, really? - Yeah.
简直是嗜酒如命 I have a serious problem.
你最好别撒谎 That had better be true.
酷 酷酷酷 Cool. Cool, cool, cool.
我是拳拳踢战警 I am Kickpuncher.
你违反了未来法律 You are in violation of future law.
该死 到底行不行 Oh. Damn it, come on.
-你在干什么 -什么 - What are you doing? - What?
你在干嘛 What, what are you doing?
为电影首映式制作戏服 Making a costume for a movie premiere.
安妮不许我在家里使用胶枪 Annie banned glue guns from the apartment
因为曾发生过一件超级搞笑的事情 After an incident so hilarious that even describing it
比现在正发生的这件事搞笑百倍 Would narratively eclipse what's happening here.
-有什么事正在发生 -你我萌生友情 - What's happening here? - You and me bonding.
快看 Check it out.
说实话 如果你是世界末日的幸存者 Tell me the truth: If you were a post-apocalyptic survivor,
我会养羊 囤积肉桂 I would raise goats, hoard cinnamon.
只在夜间出行 And travel only at night.
抱歉 我现在正忙着呢 But, please, I have some work to do here.
就一件事 你看 Just one thing. Watch this.
泡泡飞弹 发射 Initiate ballistic foam.
-卧了个大槽 -对不起 - What the hell? - Sorry.
我五小时的心血都被你毁了 You just destroyed five hours of work!
-我来清理 -不准碰 - I'll clean it up. - No, you don't touch it!
我知道这么说欠揍 I know this is bad timing,
但我要去忙电影的事了 所以... But I should go if I'm gonna make the movie, so...
你要干嘛 What are you doing?
做别人没做过的事 Something nobody ever does.
教你如何承担后果 Teaching you consequences.
-但我有事要走 -你走不了 - But I have to go. - But you can't.
这很疯狂吧 Huh, isn't that crazy?
你被禁足过吗 被惩罚过吗 You ever been grounded? You ever been punished?
你知道被拒绝的感觉 Do you have any idea what it feels like
是怎样的吗 to be refused something?
我知道被别人试图控制的那种感觉 I know what it feels like when people try to control me.
你要知道 这些人从没得逞过 You should know it never goes their way.
这句话出自哪部「拳拳踢战警」电影呢 And what "Kicky punch" movie is that from?
是你看过的 The ones you've seen
还是你将要错过的 Or the one I'm gonna watch you miss?
我道过歉了 I said I was sorry.
痛殴房东后 我也道过歉 I'm sorry I punched my landlord,
但没人把保释金还给我啊 But I'm not gettin' my deposit back.
这就是你存心欺负人 That's an example of you being punished
然后被惩罚的典型例子 For choosing to hurt someone.
我不是存心弄坏你的画稿的 I wrecked your papers by accident.
你故意把这坨东西喷我桌上 You chose to spray this crap on purpose
因为你根本不计后果 Because you didn't care what happened.
我告诉你 You know, let me tell you something.
已经五年了 你身边的人 For five years, I have watched people
总是小心翼翼地对待你 walk around on your eggshells.
「阿布蒂很有想象力 很神奇」 "Oh, Abed. He's so imaginative, so magical."
「大家快把汉堡包藏起来」 "Everybody hide their hamburgers!
「阿布蒂看到会以为我们在穿梭时空」 "If Abed sees a hamburger, we'll all travel in time."
「咱们穿着睡衣吃曲奇和冰激凌吧 "Let's eat cookies and ice cream
虽说现在是大白天」 and dress in pajamas in the middle of the day."
我目睹了我第三任老婆的死 I watched my third wife die!
你觉得我被宠坏了吗 You think I'm spoiled?
你觉得大家都宠着我 就因为 And you think I'm spoiled because it's never occurred
没人会这样对待我吗 To anyone to do this?
你并不是勇于欺负我的斗士 You're not the Marco Polo of bullying me.
你是又一个当我是怪胎的冷漠路人甲 You're just another tourist taking pictures of a great, big wall.
我快被你蠢哭了 Oh, you're gonna make me cry.
你上次被禁足是什么时候 When's the last time someone physically limited you?
就在刚才 Oh, just now.
你堂而皇之地毁了我的画 You physically ruined my drawings.
你画的是什么 Drawings of what?
你是个艺术家 You're an artist?
我毁了价值连城的艺术品吗 I destroyed something valuable?
看起来你只是在涂鸦小鸡 Looked like you were doodling chickens.
他是鸭子 He is a duck!
喂 Hey!
你不能进去 You're not allowed in there.
我刚完成了一部独角戏 Well, I just did a one-man show
观众们可欢迎我了 For a little audience that would beg to disagree.
观众 那里面吗 Audience? In there?
自从1997年的火灾 We haven't had a single person or performance
那个剧场就不再演出 也没有观众 in that theater since the 1997 fire.
当时死了24个人 24 people died.
你们最近在忙什么呀 So what have you guys been up to?
募集善款啦 Well, this. Raising money.
组织活动啦 我们想改变世界 Organizing. Trying to make a difference.
我很感动 也很羞愧 I'm impressed, and embarrassed.
我背离了自己的信念 I sold out.
-我们才背离了信念 -你没有 - We sold out. - You did not sell out.
我去社区大学读书 以求找份工作 I'm going to community college to start a career.
我们是做房地产的 We're in real estate.
这栋楼是我们名下的 We own the building we're standing in.
-你们背离得够可以的啊 -对吧 - Wow. You guys did sell out! - I know!
我该向她的朋友们自我介绍 I should introduce myself to her friends.
我就知道 I knew it!
你才不酗酒 You don't have a drinking problem!
你对布雷塔还念念不忘 你个贱人 You have feelings for Britta, you disgusting monster!
好吧 我承认 Fine. Yes.
看到她那么受欢迎 令我蠢蠢欲动 Something about everybody liking her turns me on.
我是有这毛病 It's a problem I have.
我以前不爱吃瑞希糖豆 I hated Reese's Pieces before
好时巧克力旗下产品
直到「ET」里外星人吃它 抱歉 E.T. ate them, sorry.
-你是个损友 -这话太没天理了 - You're a bad friend! - That's not fair!
你这么说真是丧尽天良 你才是损友 Wait, that's really not fair. You're a terrible friend.
我先追到她的 She was mine first.
而且她又不是某个人的专属 And it's not like she belongs to anybody.
好吧 又来了 Oh, here we go.
「爱情不是儿戏」 出自某情场高手 "Love isn't a game," Say the guys that always win.
著名喜剧演员 曾出演多部爱情电影
现在 你又打算学戴恩·库克 And now, you're going to go pull a Dane Cook
效仿他那三部电影里的样子 in one of those three movies he was in
机缘巧合地泡到妞 about Dane Cook getting laid by accident.
只可惜 这不是戴恩·库克的电影 杰夫 Only it's not a Dane Cook movie, Jeff,
这次的主角是我 Because this time, someone's watching: Me.
你的好基友 英国版贾森·比格 Your friend, British Jason Biggs.
美国演员 曾出演「美国派」系列电影
要是你不把我说成戴恩·库克 我就退出 If you never call me Dane Cook again, I'll stand down...
一小时 for an hour.
说定了 一小时 Okay. An hour.
你的鸭子漫画是个秘密吗 Are your duck drawings a secret?
所以你才在没人的时候画画 Is that why you do 'em when nobody's around?
这些事和你无关 Not that it's any of your business,
但我确实是个业余漫画家 But I am a cartoonist in my spare time.
漫画的主角是只鸭子 我画的正是他 My cartoon's about a duck. I was drawing him.
这只鸭子有名字吗 有超能力吗 Does the duck have a name? Does he have powers?
我没向你推荐我的漫画 I'm not pitching to you.
你担心我会给差评 You're afraid I won't like it.
呵呵 Sure.
我做过出租车司机 军人 条子 I've been a cab driver, a soldier, a cop,
但我最害怕的是 But what terrifies me the most
穿着纸糊装甲的小盆友的评价 is the opinion of a manchild in cardboard pants.
拳拳踢战警在变成半机械人前也是个条子 Kickpuncher was a cop before he became a cyborg.
你在变成这副样子之前也是个条子 So you were a cop before you became...this.
那你在这之前是什么 And what were you before this?
你正常吗 Were you normal?
还是说你现在这德性是因为 Or do you act like this because
当初曾被人塞进了储物柜 somebody stuffed you in a locker?
是这么回事吗 Is that the idea?
事实正相反 Other way around.
你还想知道我的什么事 What else do you want to know about me?
做什么能让你闭嘴 What makes you stop talking.
-放我走 -得等到你错过电影之后 - Letting me go. - After you miss your movie.
你想让我受苦 Because you want me to suffer.
是因为我毁了你的鸭子漫画 For destroying your duck cartoons?
你为之感到羞耻的漫画 The ones you're ashamed of?
吉姆鸭
我拿了14件
柜台最多能买15件商品
先生 每根香蕉 都算作 一件商品
不是吧
你在笑哪一段 Uh, which one were you laughing at?
不要不要 别鼓掌 No, no, no, no, no! Stop that!
你们是鬼魂 You're ghosts!
我们是鬼魂 We're ghosts?
外面的清洁工说你们1997年就死了 The janitor out there told me you died in 1997.
清洁工 Janitor?
里面的人告诉我 Those guys in there told me
是你在大火中死掉了 that you're the one that died in a fire
你才是鬼魂 and you're a ghost!
你就这么相信他们了 And you just believed 'em?
你相信了一群鬼魂 You just believed a bunch of ghosts?
你们看到水街上那个 Have you guys seen that billboard on Water Street
两厢情愿香水广告牌了吗 for consensual perfume?
那个男人在草地上追逐女人 The one with the man chasing the woman through the grass
广告词是「实战证明有效」那个 and it says, "Proven in its field"?
是的 实战证明有效 Yeah, proven in its field
还在兔子的眼球上也被证明有效呢 and in labs on the eyeballs of rabbits.
我们应该把这句加上 谁有喷漆 We should make it say that! Who's got the spray paint?
伙计们 我是认真的 No, guys, I'm serious!
道格 珍妮特 你们把风 Doug and Janet, you're on lookout.
米克尔把住梯子 我去把这句话涂上 Michael works the ladder. I will banksy that mother!
拜托 伙计们 我们得勇于冒险 Come on, guys, we gotta start taking risks again.
你没什么可失去的 当然站着说话不腰疼 Well, that's convenient for the one with nothing to lose.
怎么 最穷的人 Oh, so the person with the least wealth
最没有话语权咯 has the least valid argument?
还真富人得天下啊 That's convenient.
布雷塔 这一年除了自己你还喂饱了多少人 Britta, how many people have you fed this year besides yourself?
-珍妮特 -不 听着 - Oh, Janet... - No, look.
我已经受够了内疚了 I've spent enough time feeling bad.
对抗强权 Fight the power!
-你想去 -好啊 - Would you like to go... - Yeah.
同意啦 Yeah?
老天 Oh, my God.
我就是喜欢 坐这里喂鸽子
吉姆鸭
我们不吃 面筋
不是吧
画得挺好的 These are really good.
它帮我明白了你为什么那么沮丧 It helps me to see why you were so upset.
我毁掉的漫画也跟这些一样精彩吗 Did I ruin anything as good as what's in here?
只是些随手画的 Ah, just practic drawings.
我得练习从不同角度画鸭子 I have to practice drawing the duck from different angles.
他转体75度后不好画 因为他的喙 It's hard when his back's turned 3/4 because of the beak.
我真的很混账 毁掉了那些画 Well... I'm a real jerk for wrecking it.
你又不是故意的 Ah, you didn't do it on purpose.
那也不能抵消我的行为 That doesn't excuse my behavior.
你这么说我很感激 No, I appreciate that.
很真挚的道歉 你是个好孩子 It's a good apology. You're a good kid.
好 那... All right. Well...
我看表 只要我一路绿灯 I can see from the clock that if I hit all the green lights...
抱歉 我不能放你走 I'm sorry, I can't let you go.
那就没法让你明白大道理了 That'd undercut the larger lesson.
大道理是你很有才华 Yes, the lesson being that you're very talented.
但问题是 我不能在开演了之后进... But I have this thing. I can't walk into a movie...
你不能去看电影 You're not going to the movie.
我要去 Yes, I am.
-你需要上一课 -放我走 - You need this. - Let me go!
这是教你懂事 This is you learning.
你是坏人 还是很渣的漫画画手 You're a bad person and a bad cartoonist.
来啊 伤我感情啊 You go ahead. Hurt my feelings.
你还有感情呢 Oh! You have feelings, huh?
有没有想过把感情融到作品里去 Have you considered putting them into your work?
你的作品简直就是无趣的代言词 Your cartoons are monuments to joylessness,
紧张拼凑的笑话既不是根据你的生活而来 nervously assembled jokes based on nothing from your life
也和其他人的生活无关 or anyone's life!
你生我气 是因为我有创作力 You're furious at me for being creative
因为你想像我那样能创作 because you want to be able to create.
你满心的愤怒 羞耻 孤独 You have all this rage and shame and loneliness,
那些都是我不曾感受到 更别提理解的东西 which I don't even know how to feel much less understand,
结果呢 你把什么画到纸上了 and you decide to put what on paper?
鸭子 吉姆鸭 你认为我是疯子 A duck. Jim the duck. You think I'm crazy.
你认为我脑子出了问题 You think there's something wrong with me.
吉姆鸭 Jim the duck?
出版商很感兴趣 Publishers are interested!
是吗 出版商都是傻叉 Oh! Yeah, well, publishers are stupid.
不然就是你没有理解对 Either that or you're misinterpreting
什么叫做通函 what was probably a form letter.
-你闭嘴 -你闭嘴 - You shut up. - You shut up.
-你闭嘴 -你闭嘴 - Now you shut up. - You shut up.
开始大喊了 开始了吗 Oh, are we yelling? Are we yelling right now?
-自私 -喊啊 喊啊 - Self-centered... - Yelling! I'm yelling!
喊啊 我在大喊 Yelling! I'm yelling, I'm yelling, I'm yelling!
你没有才华 害我错过了电影 And you're not talented! You made me miss my movie!
你害我错过了电影 You made me miss my movie.
用你那破鸭子的话说 不是吧 In the words of your hacky duck, "What the hell?"
你喜欢音乐吗 Do you like music?
人人都喜欢音乐 Everyone likes music.
难不成你是一条鱼咩 What are you, a fish?
我有...我知道我们该听什么了 I have...ooh, I-I tell you what we could listen to.
你知道林普&斯比凯特吗 Do you know Rimples and Splikket?
他们是英国的劳莱与哈代[著名喜剧二人组] They were the british Laurel and Hardy.
他们很经典的 但你要知道 Most of their stuff is timeless, but you do need to know
首相上的是牛津 that the Prime Minister went to Oxford,
不是如段子里所说上的是剑桥 not cambridge, as the sketch implies.
他们在说英文吗 Are they speaking English?
好 那就听上世纪80年代德国电子舞曲吧 Okay. '80s German techno it is.
你有朋友吗 Do you have any friends?
什么 I'm sorry?
我一直通过自己与别人的相互反应 I've been defining myself with reactions
来定义我自己 to and from other people my whole life.
现在我觉得自己一无是处 Now I feel worthless just because
因为我在交友方面一无是处 I'm worthless in relation to my friends,
就是说他们根本不是我朋友 which means they're not my friends.
你的朋友都有谁 Who are your friends?
我邻居 帕特 Well, there's my neighbor, Pat.
我只说他的优点 我欠他钱 I try to stay on his good side. I owe him money.
还有杰夫 你也是我朋友 Uh, Jeff. I'd call you a friend.
其实 你也算是我... Well, in fact, I'd call you a...
对啊 你跟杰夫认识的年头 Oh, that's right. You and Jeff have actually known
比谁都长 对吧 each other longer than anybody, huh?
我老是忘记这点 I always forget that.
可能是因为你们表现得不像朋友 I guess 'cause you guys don't really act like friends.
对 差不多吧 Yeah, I guess not so much.
我们要去哪 Where are we going?
我觉得你应该回家 Well, I think you should go home.
因为你现在质疑自我存在 Because you're having an existential crisis,
你能从中得到的最好的教训就是 and the best lesson you could take away from it
你有非凡之处 即便是你一个人的时候 is that you are someone, even when you're by yourself.
你说得对 谢谢 I think you're right. Thank you.
我下面说的话请不要见怪 And please don't take offense at this,
谢谢你没有勾搭我 but thank you for not hitting on me.
我刚才那么脆弱 什么傻事都做得出来 I was just vulnerable enough to do something really stupid.
-怎么了 -没事 没事 - What's wrong? - Nothing. Nothing.
啥事没有 It's nothing.
就是这该死的方向盘 It's the... the stupid steering wheel
又跑偏了 is on the wrong side of the car.
-你来干嘛 -给你看点东西 - What are you doing here? - I want to show you something.
这是什么 What's this?
我写的剧本 讲的是一个游走在边缘的警察 It's a script I wrote about a cop on the edge.
特洛伊觉得太搞笑了 Troy thought it was hilarious.
我不忍心告诉他这不是喜剧 I didn't have the heart to tell him it wasn't a comedy.
你给我干嘛 Why are you giving this to me?
制作电影的各项技术我都懂 I know all the tricks and tropes of filmmaking,
但我没有的是 but what I'm missing is what I think
那些影评家所谓的「故事情节」 the critics call "substance,"
这点恰好你有 which is you more than me.
你想跟我合拍电影 You want to be film partners?
该正义上场了 警界正义 "It's time for justice. Police Justice."
等等 「警界正义」是人物名 Wait, the character's name is "Police Justice"?
好吧 我应该能帮上忙 Yeah, I think I may be able to help.
我为之前说的话道歉 I'm sorry for the stuff I said.
我也是 Me too.
坐吧 Sit down.
喝苏格兰威士忌吗 You drink scotch?
-不喝 -你会喝的 - No. - You're gonna.
帅哥 这边有人吗 Hey, handsome. This stool taken?
三振出局了吗 Struck out, huh?
如果这样能让你好受点的话 If that makes you feel better.
又或许我刚刚意识到这一整晚 Or maybe I just realized that I was spending the whole night
我心心念念想上的三垒其实搞错对象了 getting to third base with the wrong person.
你是个好朋友 You're a good friend,
这话我不经常说 and I don't say that often enough.
太贴心了 That's really nice.
但你不能跟我滚床单 But you can't have sex with me.
不如我们喝掉这些酒 How about we have these drinks
然后不跟任何人滚床单 都不许滚 and then not have sex, with anyone, together?
可以 Sounds good.
干杯 Cheers.
所以9毫米的真的比10毫米的好吗 So a 9-millimeter's actually better than a 10-millimeter?
毫米不重要 Millimeter don't make no difference.
是子弹就能干掉你 Bullets just kinda kill you.
是子弹就能干掉你 "Bullets just kinda kill you."
这是你引用的吗 Are you quoting something?
-我能用吗 -可以 - Can I use that? - Yeah.
你昨晚把手帕丢在我家了 You left your handkerchief at my place last night.
我们享受了一个纯爷们之夜 We had a boys' night.
喝了瓶酒 讨论了下跑车 A bottle of booze, an argument about sports cars.
为了证明我会削木头还把手给割伤了 And I cut my hand trying to prove that I can whittle.
我也是 Me too.
早啊 昨晚过得怎么样 Oh, hey. How was your night?
很好 过了纪念性的一晚 Great. I had a monumental evening...
就我自个儿 by myself.
差不多感觉被冷落了 Almost feel left out.
我们分享了自己最近的兴趣爱好 Well, we've had our share of focus lately.
随便你怎么说吧 Mm-hmm. Speak for yourself.
我很好 就是... I'm fine. I just, um...
你们相信有鬼吗 Do you guys believe in ghosts?
如果相信的话 那你们相信 And if you do, do you believe
一群鬼跟你说的另一群鬼的故事吗 what those ghosts tell you about other ghosts?
昌 如果你再这么发神经 Chang, you cannot be on the committee
就不能参加委员会了 if you're going to be actively insane.
我没神经 我发誓 我只是... I'm not insane. I swear. I just, um...
昨晚在剧院经历了很诡异的事情 had a weird experience at the theater last night.
-你在那 -你在吗 - You were there? - Yeah, you were there?
什么意思 我当然在 What do you mean? Of course I was.
可能我们没看到你 Huh, I guess we just didn't see you.
那些蚂蚁代表人类 Well, the ants were people.
蚁后是石油公司 The queen ant was an oil company.
要是我根本不存在该怎么办 What if I don't exist?
我太理解你了 Oh, I got this.
我昨晚的经历跟你极其相似 I had a very similar night last night.
回家点几根蜡烛 洗个澡 Go home, light some candles, and take a bath.
好吧 Okay, coolsies.
老照片俱乐部
我打算出去吃午饭 Hey! I was thinking off-campus lunch.
你之前说那家兼具德州与墨西哥风情的店在哪 What's that tex-mex place you mentioned?
萨沙玉米卷吗 看我表情 Salsa von taco's? Read my mind!
-别 -别别别 - No, no. - Oh, no, no, no, no.
别别别别介啊 No, no, no, no, no.
-算了吧 -好 行吧 - Nah. - Oh, okay. Yeah.
不 啥 咱还是... No, wha...let's...
-不 -别别别 - No. - No, no, no.
好吧 Well...o-okay.
你还是 You...you just...
好吧好吧 Ah. Oh, okay.
-我 -啥 - I... - Wha...
我不喜欢被人丢下 I-I just don't like being left behind!
我爸在酒吧买醉 My father got drunk in pubs
把我一个人丢在家里 啥都没有 and left me in my room with nothing!
-我爸也是 -他为什么要这样 - So did mine! - Oh, why would he do that?
他们为什么要这样 Why do they do that?
为什么 Why?
他们为什么要这样 Why do they do that?
我不会去那家德墨风情餐厅的 I-I won't go to that tex-mex place.
就等着你这句话呢 Oh, that's all I wanted you to say.