好的 我们会考虑一下给足球场加草 Okay, we'll get an estimate on adding grass to the soccer field.
会议开得不错 Good meeting.
对了杰夫 晚饭什么时候 Oh Jeff, what time is dinner?
晚饭吗 Uh, dinner?
杰夫 你没邀请雪瑞吗 Jeff, you didn't invite Shirley?
今天周二嘛 Well, it's Tuesday.
她每周二都会去参加伊莱贾的空手道训练 Shirley always goes to Elijah's karate practice on Tuesdays.
没事的 我委屈点没关系 It's okay. Part of making sacrifices
为所爱之人受点委屈 是为了 for my loved ones is not expecting
不让所爱之人为自己受委屈 my loved ones to make sacrifices.
-明天也行 -我不行 - I can do tomorrow. - I can't.
我周一周五都有空 I'm free on Fridays and Mondays...
不能换时间 We're not moving it!
等雪瑞有时间了 我们再一起吃一顿 When Shirley can have dinner, we'll have another dinner,
一顿晚饭而已嘛 because it's just dinner.
没必要因为这个互相指责 And there's no need to manipulate each other.
因为你经常这样 You know that's what you do.
你现在这个表情就是在默默指责大家 You know you're doing it now with that face.
你对我的脸也不满意了 You don't like my face?
你们好 拯救格林德尔委员会 Hello, Save Greendale committee.
这两位是戴维和比克索 This is David and Bixel.
他们是App应用程序开发员 They're App designers.
他们想在我们学校 They'd like to beta test
测试一下新开发的社交应用 their latest social-networking app on our campus,
也许会对我们很好 which could be good for us.
脸书网就给哈佛大学带来了不少好处 Look what Facebook did for Harvard, right?
你们好 我和比克索 Hey, guys. Bixel and I would like
要向各位介绍的这个应用叫「喵喵豆」 to introduce you to a little App called Meowmeowbeenz.
「喵喵豆」可以让你表达所有喜恶感受 Meowmeowbeenz let's you say
包括好感程度 好感对象和好感发生时间 how much you like, who you like, when you like,
只要拥有普通手机便可轻松实现 all from a standard non-boost mobile phone.
来看看如何评分 Let's see how it works.
比克索 刚刚校长对我们的介绍你感觉如何 Bixel, what did you think of the way the Dean introduced us?
我觉得非常棒 I thought he did great.
所以我要给他五颗「喵喵豆」 That's why I'm giving him five Meowmeowbeenz.
是吗 比克索 Well, Bixel, I'm sorry,
可是我觉得他的介绍很一般 but I thought his intro was just okay.
所以我就给他 That's why I'm gonna give him
两颗「喵喵豆」吧 two out of five meowmeowbeenz.
我的「喵喵豆」 My meowmeowbeenz.
通过使用「喵喵豆」 学生可以评价老师 With meowmeowbeenz, students can rate teachers.
老师也可以评价学生 Teachers can rate students.
每个人都可以评价其他人 Everyone and anyone can rate each other.
「喵喵豆」 Meowmeowbeenz.
其实吧 You know...
是这样 I could...
我为这个国家奋战过 I fought for this country,
我知道每个人都不能选择 and I know you don't get to pick and choose
为了什么去奋战 但我知道 the parts you fight for, but I know...
我得去上大号了 I should go number two soon.
■
本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译 禁止用作任何商业盈利行为
翻译：青椒 wdjmhs
翻译：来自风平浪静的夕橙
时间轴：Poxle
校对：夕橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
废柴联盟 第五季第八集
喵喵豆内测
第一天
快点 我要赶不上人权课了 Hurry up! I'm late for Human Rights class.
不好意思啊 I'm sorry.
为什么星霸在帮加瑞特拿东西 Why is Starburns carrying Garrett's books?
简直就是吐司在对饼干颐指气使 It's like toast bossing crackers around.
大概这种感觉 I mean, I guess.
加瑞特有三颗喵喵豆 Garrett's got three meowmeowbeenz.
星霸只有两颗 Starburns is a two.
难道大家真在用这个蠢透了的App吗 Are you telling me people are actually using this stupid app?
-好用到相当上瘾 -是相当愚蠢 - It's addictively effective. - No, it's effectively stupid.
已经有一套很完备的评价系统了 There already was a rating system
那就是「好人有好报」 in place called "Cool people get more,"
而且挺好用的 and it was working fine.
喵喵豆把人际交往中的主观意识 Meowmeowbeenz takes everything subjective and unspoken
以及难以言说的感受 about human interaction and reduces it
转换成了明确而客观的数字 to explicit, objective numbers.
我第一次觉得如此有活力 I've never felt more alive.
你若安好 便是阴天 As long as you're happy, I'm unsettled.
你们好 Hey, guys.
你这是怎么了 What happened to you?
我坐在厕所太久 脚麻了 I sat on a toilet so long, my feet fell asleep,
然后发现一瘸一拐能骗到喵喵豆 then I noticed limping was getting meowmeowbeenz,
所以我就一直这样了 so I just kind of started committing.
你听懂他说的话了吗 Did you understand a word he said?
对了 就是这个 就是这个 Hey, here you go. Here you go.
没有人会给寿星打低分的 Nobody is gonna down-vote a guy on his birthday.
等等 你也用喵喵豆吗 Wait. Are you using meowmeowbeenz?
不能力挽狂澜 不如顺其自然 If you can't kill it, join it.
等你老了 就会看得出一些警示 When you get older, you're gonna see the warning signs.
马克·扎克伯格是穿着人字拖的巨人 Mark Zuckerberg is Fidel Castro in flip-flops.
喵喵豆会让东柏林跟伍德斯托克一样酷 Meowmeowbeenz is gonna make East Berlin look like Woodstock.
我把话给你放这儿 You take my word for that.
你是不是还存着 Do you own stock
棋盘问答游戏生育高峰版[1983年推出] in trivial pursuit's baby boom edition?
-布雷塔 -什么... - Britta. - Wh...
你不是也在用这个手机App吧 Please tell me you're not using this App.
我一开始还挺喜欢的 每个人都能发表见解 Uh, I liked the idea at first, giving a voice to the unheard,
可是安妮刚跟我说 but then Annie just told me
这个评价系统里的地位是指数上升的 that the rating system is exponentially weighted.
随着你的评价升高 你对其他人的评价 As your ratings go up, your ratings of other people
-也会更加重要 -不是吧 - become more important. - No.
也就是说别人越喜欢你 It just means the more others like you,
你就越能决定别人的受欢迎程度 the more likeable you can make others.
我觉得可以啊 It makes sense to me.
你知道有谁会同意你的看法吗 You know who else it made sense to?
你再说一次希特勒 我就给你两颗喵喵豆 Say "Hitler" One more time, and I'm giving you a two.
杰夫 你居然没注册吗 Jeff, are you not registered?
你等得越久 The longer you wait,
要想提高自己的分数就越难哦 the harder it's gonna be to get your number up.
安妮 听听你说的话 Annie! Listen to yourself.
你学会了它的语言 You're learning its language.
你让一个电子游戏玩了你 You're letting a video game play you.
我要让这些人头脑清醒一点 I got to set these people straight.
等等 你这里... Hey, hey, uh...
格林德尔的学生们 Students of Greendale!
不要这样崇拜一个计算器 We don't have to worship a calculator!
没有公式能够计算人类 There is no formula for people!
因为我活得真实 你们要惩罚我吗 You're punishing me for being alive!
不然你以为呢 宝贝 That's the general idea, baby.
我这么说也许有点扯 但你嘴角沾着芥末时 You're gonna think I'm joking, but you were getting through
所说的话更有影响力 to me more with mustard on your lip.
-你给我闭嘴 -他没开玩笑 布雷塔 - Oh, shut up. - He's not kidding, Britta.
我还以为是我的错觉 I thought I was imagining it.
你嘴上沾着芥末酱的时候 When you had mustard on your lip,
我比较容易接受你的观点 I was more open to your opinion.
也许能够冲淡或者缓和你的强硬态度 Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your excessive intensity.
也许能冲淡或者缓和你个大头鬼 Maybe it dilutes or distracts from your stupid butt.
你好吗 罗格 How you doing, Rog?
夏洛特 我看到你的变化啦 Hey, Charlotte. I see what you did there.
薇琪 这身搭配好棒 Vicki, I love this.
雪瑞有五颗豆 Shirley's a five.
-怎么会 -她对人很好 杰夫 - How? - She's nice to people, jeff.
你也了解雪瑞的 You know Shirley.
谢谢你 薇琪 Oh, Vicki, thank you.
你刚刚给我评了四颗喵喵豆吗 Did you just give me four meowmeowbeenz?
我很感谢薇琪给我的四颗豆豆 I love my four from Vicki.
不要 No!
别这样 Stop it!
我不是故意的 I didn't mean it.
是啊 Yeah.
我确实了解她 I do know Shirley.
我们来做布朗尼蛋糕吧 We should be having brownies.
我要去帮雪瑞了 I'm going to help Shirley.
你也该来 布雷塔 她可以让你变成二豆 Not a bad idea for you, Britta. She could make you a two again.
去你的二豆 去他的喵喵豆 Screw your twos, and screw meowmeowbeenz.
也就只有你这样想 I know that's your one talking.
你要干什么 What are you doing?
注册喵喵豆 Registering for meowmeowbeenz.
我要变成五颗豆 然后揭露它的真相 I'm gonna become a five and expose this thing
这个破玩意 for the sham it is.
这才像我的风格 Oh, now you're speaking my language.
我不是故意的 真的 That's unintentional, trust me.
一定要记住你的真正目标 Just make sure you know the real reason
不然就会出师未捷身先死 you're doing something, or you'll fail before you start.
确实有道理 That's actually a good point.
真的吗 为什么 It is? Why?
不是吧你 Oh, come on!
喵喵豆内测
第二天
我说「就两杯」 她说「什么」 So I'm like, "That's two cups," and she's like, "What?"
我就说「两杯酒 球就有 肉就露」 I'm like, "Two cups, balls back, tops off."
好了 特伦特 麻池 戴夫 All right, Trent, Mulch, Dave,
哈派 握爪 贱嘴 Herpie, Clutch, Dirt mouth,
阿绳 刺丁丁 猫女 史蒂夫 Rope, Tingles, Cat Woman, Steve.
行了 继续颓废吧 All right, keep it floppy.
可以脱可以睡 永远不会累 Haul it, ball it, never call it.
女孩是目标 Girls are objects.
噢耶 Yeah!
两颗喵喵豆 Two meowmeowbeenz.
恭喜啊 Congratulations.
阿布蒂告诉我有五颗喵喵豆的人 Abed was just explaining that the fives get to choose
-可以决定空调的档位 -没错 - what setting the air conditioning is on. - Yep.
穿灰色的人多了不少是我的错觉吗 Is it me, or are more people wearing gray.
我感觉像在拍广告 I feel like I'm in a commercial,
马上会有人递给我一颗星爆糖 And someone's about to hand me a starburst.
三豆和二豆的人趋向于穿中间色 Threes and twos tend to wear neutral colors.
企图升级反而会被降级 Looking like you want to move up can get you moved down.
-阿布蒂 -你好 - Abed, hey. - Hi.
-快来 -快来 - Come on. - Come here.
他们也是三颗豆 Those are other threes.
我们都说很高兴自己不是二豆 We talk about how we're glad we're not twos.
悄悄话 伙计们 Small talk, guys.
我现在说悄悄话了 I make small talk now.
你好 杰夫瑞 Hello, Jeffrey.
你也加入喵喵豆了啊 I see you decided to join meowmeowbeenz.
这是一个很好的生活用具 Oh, it's a great tool for living.
-你气色不错啊 -你气色也不错 - You look great. - You look great.
-你知道自己在干什么 -你也知道 - You know what you're doing. - You know what you're doing.
咱们走着瞧 好吧 I'm watching you, okay?
你瞧我菊花吧 臭娘们 Yeah, you'll be watching my hinder, mama,
别让我的高能螺旋屁给呛死 And choking on its billowing plume of highly rated dust.
喵喵豆内测
第八天
四豆及以上准入 Fours and above only.
这是五豆们的零食 These are snacks for the fives.
是吗 你是二豆 Yeah? You're a two.
伦纳德 你希望三豆来送餐吗 Leonard, would you rather a three serve the fives food?
不 No.
三豆和四豆们对五豆起疑 It is no secret that the threes and twos
已经不是什么秘密了 Are growing suspicious of the fours and fives.
我只知道今天是我的生日 All I know is that it's my birthday.
我们是不是应该给他们一丝希望 What if we give these people something to believe in again?
酷哥 Koogler?
我知道你们如何看我 好吗 I know what you guys think of me, okay?
「瞧 这是酷哥」 "Hey, it's Koogler."
「这家伙很酷」 You know. "He's cool."
「他想泡妞 他还不是很老」 "He likes to get laid. He's not that old."
但我是五豆因为我知道二豆三豆们的需求 But I'm a five because I know what the twos and the threes need.
我们所有人需要什么 What do we all need?
娱乐 Entertainment.
选秀 A talent show.
舞台上 三豆和二豆可以升级和降级 An event where threes and twos can rise and fall.
建立人们对体制的信心 It helps people believe in the system.
把我的位置给别人吧 我不想当五豆 Give my spot to someone else. I don't want to be a five.
我当三豆时很开心 现在很痛苦 I was happy as a three. I'm miserable.
亲爱的阿布蒂 Oh, dear Abed.
太谦逊了 So humble.
你们这些人是魔鬼 You people are monsters.
如果没有别的事了... Well, if there's nothing else, then...
说吧 Speak.
标题报道 一伙二豆冲砸了一个储物柜 Headline items...a few twos broke into a supply closet
偷走了一盒花生酱 and stole a box of peanut butter.
校园未来主义风格装修基本完成 The futurization of the campus decor is almost complete.
还有几个小时前 杰夫·翁格成为四豆 And a few hours ago, Jeff Winger became a four.
这太好了 That's nice.
四豆及以上准入
-五豆打算举办选秀 -收到
那边的姑娘 You there, girl.
你有几颗喵喵豆 How many meowmeowbeenz?
两颗 Two!
二豆 你迷路了吗 二豆 Two? Are you lost, two?
是的 你迷路了吗 二豆 Yes. Are you lost, two?
我送她去公用区 I'll escort her to the common area.
你是四豆吗 You're a four?
我不认识你 I don't recognize you.
他是新人 He's new beenz.
拜拜 新人 Bye-bye, new beenz.
三豆和四豆七点后必须离开一号楼 Threes and twos must leave building one after 7:00.
七点后只有四豆准入 Building one after 7:00 is fours only.
-你来这里干嘛 -起义准备的如何了 - What are you doing here? - How goes the revolution?
我最多只能得到四豆 I can't break a four.
得不到半数五豆的支持 It's impossible to get any higher
根本没办法继续升级 without half the fives in your corner.
他们把路堵死了 They got this thing locked up.
是的 但他们紧张 Yeah, but they're nervous.
他们要举行一次选秀 They're hosting a talent show
证明所有人都能成为五豆 to prove that anyone can be a five.
如果你参加 可以众目睽睽下 If you enter it, you'll be center stage
站在舞台中央 with all eyes on you,
然后告诉所有人这不是民主 and you can tell everyone this isn't democracy.
这是专制 This is tyranny.
抱歉 你能涂些芥末吗 I'm sorry. Can you put some mustard...
我不在脸上涂芥末 I shouldn't have to put mustard on my face
也能讲出道理 for this to make sense.
你知道我们必须推翻这个体制 You know we have to take this system down.
知道吗 You know...
我曾与一个二豆相爱 I once loved a two.
马修 Matthew...
他是我的一切 He was my everything.
但后来级别变了 But numbers change.
我会替你们保密的 新人 I'll keep your secret, new beenz.
你是下一位 It says you're next.
杰夫瑞 我求你不要冒险 Now, Jeffrey, I beg you not to take this risk.
你知道那个顺口溜 You know what they say.
五豆很惬意 四豆有压力 Fives have lives, fours have chores,
三豆有臭气 二豆很抑郁 Threes have fleas, twos have blues,
一豆不配押韵 因为他们是狗屁 And ones don't get a rhyme because they're garbage.
克拉格 我能行 Craig, I got this.
不要啊 No!
不要啊 拜托 No, please!
别送我去荒土 Not the outlands!
求你们了 Please!
去死吧 Boo on you!
五豆教导我们 The fives have spoken!
而你... And you...uh...
不是非常好 而且... are not very good and...
神马 拜托 不要啊 What? No! Please!
我只是在不擅长在公开场合演讲 I'm just not very good at public speaking and...
最后一次机会 杰夫瑞 Last chance, Jeffrey.
表演开始 Showtime.
我叫杰夫·翁格 My name is Jeff Winger.
我刚成为四豆不久 I recently became a four.
有趣的是 当我还是二豆时 Funny thing is, when I was a two,
我没感觉少什么 I didn't actually have any less.
但我却有很多疯狂的朋友 But I did have a lot of crazy friends.
你好 我是汤米·特鲁卡 Hey, my name's Tommy Talouca.
我是C厅的 I'm from hallway "C."
我是二豆 I'm a two!
我得赶去食堂 不然苹果就被吃光了 I got to get to the cafeteria before they run out of apples!
二豆和苹果有什么问题呢 What is with twos and apples?
你被赐予三种水果 You're given three kinds of fruit.
混起来嘛 Mix it up.
然后你成了四豆 Then you become a four.
你迈起了四豆的方步 And you get that, uh... that four walk.
知道什么意思吧 就像这样 You know what I'm talking about? It's like this.
就像这种 It's like one of these.
还有一帮二豆跟在屁股后边 And they got a little trail of twos behind them,
他们问 那边有苹果吃吗 And they're like "Hey, is there an apple up there?"
还有什么有趣的事呢 Wow. What else is going on?
他太棒了 He's killing it.
那个时候 There came a time
我不得不问自己 when I has to a "Aks" Myself,
我真的想成为三豆吗 Did I even want to be a three?
还是我讨厌自己是二豆 Or did I just hate myself for being a two?
我不知道 I don't know.
我只知道 All I know is...
我真的喜欢吃苹果 I sure do love them apples!
酷哥喜欢 Oh, the Koog "Approogs."
给五豆 That's a five!
耶 Yeah!
评论 评论喵喵喵喵喵 Review. Review meow meow meow meow meow!
击掌呗 伙计们 Down here, guys.
是啊 是啊 Yeah, yeah.
能照张相吗 Can I get a picture?
我想让我未来的孩子了解这些 I want my future kids to know this happened.
我佩服你的乐观 加瑞 I admire your optimism, Garrett.
-搞毛啊 -我不想听 - What the hell? - I don't want to hear it.
我走这么远 就是为了干掉雪瑞 I got this far because I need to take Shirley down.
-那其他人怎么办 -看看吧 布雷塔 - What about everyone else? - Look around you, Britta.
所有人都想要这个 Everyone wanted this.
五豆准入 女士 Fives only, ma'am.
太好了 拜托啊 Oh, great. Come on.
你以为这一套体系真的会万古长存吗 You...you think this system's gonna last forever?
我要解放人们的思想 I'm gonna free people's minds.
我可是学心理学的 语言就是我的武器 I'm a psych major. Words are my weapons.
我是保安 武器就是我的武器 I'm a security guard. Weapons are my weapons.
五豆们 欢迎来到 Welcome, fives,
幻想未来升级舞会 to the inaugural fancy future dance.
很高兴你们没和其他人一样 I'm glad you don't think making Jeff a five
觉得杰夫当五豆是个错误 was a mistake like everybody else.
我主张要勇于冒险 I believe in taking risks.
对呀 杰夫超酷的 Yeah! Jeff's really cool.
我不禁注意到在我表演之后 Couldn't help but notice that Shirley didn't clap
雪瑞居然没有和其他人一起鼓掌 with the rest of you after my performance.
她总是这么与众不同吗 Is she always so different?
如果你跟我说话 我就记不住舞步了 If you talk to me, I can't concentrate on the dance moves.
你应该不会相信那些谣言吧 酷哥 You don't believe the rumors, do you, Koogler,
传言说杰夫靠耍手段才升到了顶级 that Jeff manipulated his way to the top?
雪瑞 我全都能听到好吗 Shirley, I can hear what you're saying.
你现在才是在耍手段让大家以为 You're trying to manipulate someone
我在耍手段 into thinking I'm manipulative.
从来没有人知道你在说什么 No one ever knows what you're talking about
我很肯定我完全不知道你在说什么 I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.
因为你从来不把话讲明白 because you never say what you mean.
你是想继续这段对话呢 Do you want to have this conversation,
还是想继续用你那血脉偾张的胳膊 or do you want to just keep flexing your veiny arms
扔苹果玩呢 and throwing out apples?
平静就是进步 Tranquility is advancement.
一个快乐的三豆就是未来的四豆 A happy three is a future four.
二豆三豆们 你们正在过不应该过的生活 Twos and threes, you're accepting a life you don't have to live!
为你们自己奋战吧 Stand up for yourselves!
不是吧你们 Really?
行 算你们狠 Ugh, fine.
-把这个给我 -喂 - Give me that. - Hey!
你们都是鲜活的人 You're all alive!
你们都是鲜活的人 You are all alive!
看着我脸上的芥末酱 仔细听我说的话 Look at the mustard on my face, but listen to my words.
你是最愤怒 最腹黑... You're one of the angriest, most vindictive...
你才是愤怒的那个 You're the angry one,
因为你的规则被改变了 翁格 because the rules got changed on you, Winger.
你现在不能扮酷当领导了 You can't just be cool and be in charge now.
才不是 你才得靠八卦和分发食物 No, you have to gossip and give out food
-然后让人们心怀愧疚 -是吗 - and make people feel guilty. - Okay, yeah.
我呕心沥血就为了让一个全是自私白痴的世界 I bust my ass making a world full of selfish idiots
-铭记住我的芳名 -很好 - remember my name! - Fine.
你可真努力啊 但是别跟我说是这种 Call it hard work, but don't tell me the system
靠评价人品的系统 Measures who's nice.
其实 这系统挺管用的 Actually, it kind of does.
保安 把他们流放荒土 Security, banish them to the outlands
跟那些下人一起过活吧 with the rest of the ones!
不要 Oh, no!
-好好好 -不要啊 - Okay, okay, okay. - No! No!
女士们先生们 用你们的餐盘 Ladies and gentlemen, please put your tray tables
占据他们的位置吧 in their party positions...
敬酷哥船长 So sayeth captain Koogler.
请将餐盘保留原地吧 酷哥 Actually, keep the tray tables where they are, Koogler.
五豆的统治已经结束了 The rule of the fives is over!
评论革命万岁 Long live the review-lution!
-不可以 -居然掉下来了 - No! - That comes down?
好好好 好啦好啦 Okay, okay, all right, all right,
行了行了 All right, all right!
高兴吗 Happy?
你高兴吗 Are you happy?
我知道你参加不了那个白痴晚饭 Look, I knew you couldn't go to that stupid dinner.
所以我才没邀请你 That's why I didn't invite you.
但被邀请总是好的 It's nice to be invited anyway.
行啊 如果你是个控制狂的话 Sure, if you're a control freak.
很显然你讨厌控制是吧 Oh, and you clearly hate control.
错 No.
我爱控制 I love it.
我想当人掌控一切时是很容易假装不在乎的 I guess it's easy to pretend that you don't when you got it.
你有没有觉得咱俩更应该当朋友 You'd think we'd be better friends
因为你我都对同一样东西痴迷不已 because we're both such big fans of the same thing.
你俩 一豆们 You there! Ones!
你们可以回屋里了 此乃奉布雷塔之命 You are permitted back indoors by decree of Britta,
至高无上的妈妈桑 the mother of ones.
我听的没错吧 作为一个五豆 And do I hear correctly that as a five,
你觉得自己有权在残疾人停车位停车是吗 you felt you could park in handicap spots?
话说 这只是酷哥派的一部分而已 Well, you see, that's just part of the Koogler style.
这是人渣派 给他评豆 It's human crap style. Rate him!
太低了吧 Well, that's low.
所有的五豆必须清洗他们肮脏的五豆身份 All fives must be cleansed of their five filth
将其减至一豆 and reduced to oneness.
杰夫 雪瑞 Jeff. Hey, Shirley.
我不再是五豆了 我跟其他人一样都是一豆 I'm not a five anymore. I'm a one like everyone else.
我现在跟其他人一样了 I'm like everyone else.
下一个是谁 Who's next?
行了 该收摊了 All right, time to pull the plug.
至高无上的妈妈桑啊 Oh, Great mother of ones,
芥末抹脸的救世主 Mustard-faced savior,
现在还有一个五豆隐藏在我们其中 there is still a five hiding among us
并没有被清洗 that has not been cleansed.
无稽之谈 Nonsense.
就在两分钟前的大清洗运动中 All fives were reduced to oneness
所有的五豆都被降为一豆了 in the great purge of about two minutes ago.
这个五豆撒谎了 This five cheats.
他从没有注册过 It never registered,
他是从系统外被赋予了五颗豆 yet was given a five from outside the system.
请看一下 Behold...
喵喵豆App吧 The meowmeowbeenz App.
内测活动几天前就结束了 Its beta test ended days ago.
现在已经在App商店上架了 99美分 It's now available in the App store...99 cents.
五星评价 Five stars.
它欺骗了我们 This five lied to us,
利用了我们 对我们妄加评价 used us, judged us,
却让它自己免于被评价 yet exempts itself from judgment.
而且我很肯定它把我们的信息卖给了垃圾邮件 And I'm pretty sure it's selling our information to spammers
因为我收到的垃圾邮件越来越多 because I am getting a lot more email,
请相信我 爷的男根无需增大术 and trust me, my penis needs no enlargement.
那么怎么清洗一个从未注册过的五豆呢 So how do you cleanse a five that's unregistered?
卸载它 Delete it.
顺便说一句 今天是周六 By the way, guys, it's a Saturday.
你们却都聚在学校无所事事 Um, you're all in school for nothing.
回家睡觉吧 Go home and get some sleep.
不行 No!
不要 等一下 No. Wait.
不要 别走 你们去哪儿 No, don't go! Where are you going?
不要 No.
格林德尔全体师生注意 Attention, Greendale.
我提议大家都忘却 I'd like to propose we basically forget everything
前几天发生的种种事情吧 that happened over the last few days.
我也不想看到大家有所抵触 And I don't anticipate a lot of pushback on that.
我觉得大家都觉得挺丢人的 I think we're all pretty embarrassed.
-你好吗 -嘿 - Hey, there. - Oh, hey.
我刚刚在想今晚去那个新餐厅看看 So I was thinking about checking out this new restaurant tonight.
真贴心 但今晚我不行 Oh, that's sweet, but I can't tonight.
外卖也不行吗 Not even takeout?
我们可以在学习室吃 We could eat in the study room.
这个时间我还是有的 Oh, I think I have time for that.
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey.
干吗 What?
我才不要脱掉呢 I'm not gonna take it off.
我这套衣服租期还剩两天呢 I still got two days left on the rental.
每过一段时间 就会出现一部电影 Every once in a while, a film comes along
对高等教育进行一番深究 that takes a serious look at higher education.
这其中不包括他们 This is not one of them.
先生们 Gentlemen...
派对开始 Assume the party.
这个夏天 This summer...
欢乐被赋予了一个新名字 Fun has a new name.
酷哥 酷哥 Koogler? Koogler!
-酷哥 -酷哥 - Koogler. - Koogler!
酷哥 Koogler!
酷哥 酷哥 Koogler! Koogler!
希望你们不介意我开过去 Hope you don't mind if I play through.
大锤之路画报为您引介这个不凡的男人 Hammer Road Pictures invited you to meet the man...
这个神秘的... The myth...
我正在影印我的屁屁 I'm photocopying my rear end.
酷哥 The Koogler.
酷哥 Koogler.
我想我对教育拥有一种大家所说的 I guess I have what you might call
厌恶之情 an aversion to education.
你居然连职业规划也没有吗 Do you even have a career plan?
是啊 泡妞算吗 Yeah, uh, does getting laid count?
不算 No!
米切尔·D·赫维兹就是酷哥 Mitchell D. Hurwitz is Koogler...
评为R级 Rated "R."