就这么决定了 It's settled.
女厕所里的便池会换成花盆 The urinals in the women's restroom will be turned into planters.
下面是杂务 Onto chores.
我们需要一些人手 We need some able bodies to clear out a space
清理一下东大厅的储藏室 in the east hall's storage room.
-我来吧 -真的吗 - I'll do it. - Really?
当然 安妮说杂务的时候总是由易到难 Yeah, Annie always goes from the easy chores to the hardest.
好像确实是这样 That's true, isn't it?
-那我也参加 -我也是 - I'll do it too. - Yeah, me too.
好的 此次会议结束 Okay, that concludes this meeting.
-我去 -该死的 - Oh! - Aw, man!
谁也猜不透我想干什么 Nobody picks up on my patterns!
知道我接下来要说什么吗 What am I gonna say next?
全麦饼干 你根本猜不到 Graham cracker! You didn't know.
「矮油情侣」出现了 Hey, it's the "Aww couple."
你们看瑞秋送了我什么 「枪林弹雨」 Look what Rachel got me: Pile Of Bullets.
90年代的西部牛仔主题录像带对战游戏 An interactive old west-themed VCR game from the '90s.
我在古威二手店买的 I found it at Goodwill.
就在美腿器和汉堡王版 It was between a thighmaster and a Dick Tracy Burger King glass.
「至尊神探」玻璃杯中间 It was between a thighmaster and a Dick Tracy Burger King glass.
-周年纪念日快乐 -周年纪念日 - Happy anniversary. - Anniversary?
那我可得问问你的名字了 这位小姐 I guess I should learn your name, young lady.
我叫瑞秋 Oh, Rachel.
瑞秋 幸会 瑞秋 你可以走了 Rachel. Nice to meet you, Rachel. You can go.
好吧 Okay.
周年纪念日 Anniversary?
按你们的时间 我跟瑞秋在一起一个月了 Yeah, Rachel and I have been dating for one of your months,
但我们的恋爱效率是你们世界的十二倍 but our relationship is 12 times more efficient,
所以已经一年了 so it's really been a year.
我们的生物钟完全共振 Our sleep cycles are in synch,
可以用眉毛彼此交流 we can communicate with our eyebrows,
她还知道我的奈飞账号密码 and she knows my Netflix password...
也知道杰夫的奈飞密码 Jeff's Netflix password.
该死的 我要改密码 Damn it. I'm changing that.
-我已经改了 -改成什么了 - I changed it. - To what?
我会告诉你吗 Nice try.
安妮 今晚瑞秋能来咱们家玩吗 Annie, can Rachel come to our place to play this tonight?
其他地方我消费不起 I can't afford to take her anywhere.
我弟弟来了 要住一周 Well, my brother's in town for the week,
而且我也破产了 and I'm broke too,
所以打算今晚做饭给他吃 so I was gonna make him dinner tonight.
好啊 那就四人约会 Cool. Double date?
吃完晚饭 再玩1993年的录像带游戏 Dinner and 1993 interactive VCR game?
-你要做什么菜 -三文鱼 - What are you making? - Salmon.
黄油拌面吗 Buttered noodles.
我最爱吃黄油拌面了 Buttered noodles are my favorite.
给格林德尔的两位精英宣布个小通知 Quick announcement for two of Greendale's finest.
发工资日延期到下周了 Payday is postponed until next week.
为表歉意 So this...
我给大家来段即兴说唱 is my freestyle rap apology.
*我变身一颗花生糖* * Well, I'm a peanut bar *
*小试身手秀说唱* * And I'm here to say *
*薪水改天才能发放* * Your checks will arrive on another day *
*又过一天 又挣一分钱* * Another day, another dime, *
*再换个节奏 再挣一美元* *another rhyme, another dollar *
*白领民工狗 臭美装逼犯* * Another stuffed shirt with another white collar *
*罪犯 华尔街 吃香又喝辣* * Criminals, wall street, taking the pie *
*而所有黑人却被谎言欺骗* * And all the black man gets is a plate of white lies *
*监狱吃牢饭 条子射着玩* * Prisons! Recruitin' 'em! Police be shootin' them *
*说唱歌手损着玩 各种标签全冲淡* * Rap artists lootin' them, labels all dilutin' them *
*奥巴马见了我也胆颤* * Barack Obama is scared of me *
*我绝不独吞知识* * 'Cause I don't swallow knowledge *
*而是义务传播* * And I spit it for free *
*让我清个嗓子 啊咳 啊咳* * Let me clear my throat, ah-ha, ah-ha... *
我也不知道刚刚怎么了 我不知道 I don't know what that was, I don't.
我真不知道怎么回事 I don't know what that was.
■
本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译 禁止用作任何商业盈利行为
翻译：青椒 大卫熊
翻译：夕橙不拖不舒服斯基
时间轴：贝壳 木瓜一号
校对：夕橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
废柴联盟 第五季第九集
埃迪生家的孩子们同聚一堂啦 真好啊 So nice to have the Edison kids under one roof again.
记得我们以前帮妈妈切萝卜吗 Remember when we used to cut carrots for mom?
记得 Yes.
我要喝苏打水 I need a soda.
好的 Oh, okay.
一 二 三 One, two, three.
门坏了 Door's busted.
房东进监狱了 我们也没钱 Landlord's in jail and money's tight.
是啊 Yeah.
我的天哪 Oh, my God!
安东尼 谢谢你 Anthony! Thank you!
没什么 Yeah.
阿布蒂 过来说话 Hey, Abed, a quick word.
要是我弟跟我们住一起 你会介意吗 What would you think about my brother moving in with us?
我要继续切萝卜吗 Do I just keep cutting carrots?
对 安东尼 Yes, Anthony!
他有钱 也很好用 He has money. He's handy.
你这是要置我于危险之中 You're putting me on the spot.
我下意识的反应就是 I guess my knee-jerk concern would be
担心他是海盗 只是来我们家 that he's a viking and might only use our home
稍微休整一下 很快就会回岛上 as a temporary base before moving inland
因为那里的木材更丰富 where lumber is more plentiful.
他是好人 He's a good guy.
我们两个人平分的话就要付不起房租了 We can't afford to keep splitting the rent two ways.
你有更好的主意吗 You have a better idea?
-叫瑞秋来呢 -你开玩笑吗 - How about Rachel? - Is that a joke?
我可以大便吗 Is it cool if I poop?
不行 安东尼 快点切萝卜 No, Anthony! Just cut the carrots!
你才跟瑞秋在一起一个月 You've been dating Rachel for a month.
我觉得你没听到他的话 I don't think you heard his question.
答案是可以 The answer is yes!
我跟瑞秋在一起的时间相当于一年 Rachel and I have been dating for the equivalent of a year.
是吗 Oh, really?
是吗 我感觉你「两年」来 'Cause I feel like I've been hearing about that
一直在这样说 for two years.
你不能用微波炉来速热一段感情 You can't just microwave a relationship
-感情不是玉米卷 -安妮 - like it's a bean burrito. - Annie.
我可不要跟你刚交往了一个月的女友同居 I ain't living with your month-long girlfriend, brah.
那我也不要跟你的蠢弟弟同居 Well, I ain't living with your wack-ass,
他不知道要不要继续切萝卜 don't-know-whether- to-keep-cutting-carrots-
去大便还要请示你 or-ask-if-he- can-take-a-poop-brother.
这事能一会再说吗 Can we discuss this later?
瑞秋要来了 我想练习一下如何微笑 Rachel's on her way, and I'd like to practice my smile.
只有屁 没拉出来 I guess it was just air.
为什么我们要整理储存室 Why are we organizing a storage room?
这难道不是校工要做的吗 How is this not a janitor's job?
我能问你个问题吗 Can I ask you something?
你连搬个东西都要磨磨唧唧的 Why the hell do you have all those muscles
要一身肌肉何用啊 if you're gonna bitch about moving boxes?
这里的空调是不是没开 Is the air working in here?
我出的汗比天主教徒在审判日出的都多了 I'm sweating like a catholic on judgment day.
来点新教徒式幽默 Just a little protestant humor.
-还有很多呢 -好「期待」呀 - I've got more. - Oh, can't wait.
完全没风 Nothin'.
等等 有东西堵住了通风口 Wait, there's something in there blocking the vent.
你要撬开吗 You gonna open it?
你知道的吧 通风口里 You do realize nothing good has ever been found
从来不会有好东西 in a vent, right?
那可是通风口啊 It's a vent.
「化学概论」第三版 Intro to Chemistry. Third edition.
全新的 Mint.
零售价二百元 $200 retail.
地摊价一百六 160 on the street.
为什么这些书会在空调里 Why are there books in an air duct?
为什么厕所会有辣椒酱 Why is there hot sauce in the bathroom?
-这里可是格林德尔 -肯定是有人偷的 - It's Greendale. - They must be stolen.
-我们得告诉校长 -等等 - We have to tell the dean. - Hold on.
我们先冷静点 好好讨论一下 Let's just calm down and have a slow, pleasant chat
-关于可能性的话题 -什么 - about possibilities. - What kind?
各种可能性 一切皆有可能 All kinds. Anything is possible.
以后可能会出现悬浮车 We might one day have hover cars.
甘蓝也许会有毒 Kale might be poisonous.
这件事也许可以不告诉校长 And we might not have to get the dean involved here.
-杰夫瑞 这些是赃物 -谁丢的 - Jeffrey, these are stolen! - From who?
谁偷的 多久之前的 By who? How long ago?
「谁」应该用宾格形式 It's "From whom," "By whom."
不过最后一个问题太犀利了 But he nailed the third question.
格林德尔的一切问题 Look, we are the committee
都是我们这个委员会处理的 that deals with Greendale's problems.
我们的待办清单上有出现过丢书事件吗 Now did you see anything on our list about a pile of missing books
这些书的价钱加起来都能买下整个学校了 that are worth more than the school they're hidden in?
有一点事是确定的 One thing's for sure.
如果我们交了公 这些书就真丢了 If we hand these over, they'll really go missing.
你觉得这些钱 And you think that money's gonna be used
会用来给我们发工资吗 to cut our paychecks
还是用来再做一套花生糖说唱服装 or to make another rapping peanut costume?
你们竟然说出这种话 I can't believe what I'm hearing.
好啊 你想上天堂吗 Fine. You wanna go to heaven?
转身离开 我们分红还会多点 Walk away, more for us.
我现在是共犯了 I'm an accomplice now!
要是我离开 If I walk away,
只有举报你们才能上天堂 I'll only get into heaven by turning you in.
那你的餐厅呢 But what about your restaurant?
你的孩子们呢 What about your kids?
班内特女士 上帝跟你交谈时 Ms. Bennett, when God talks to you,
他用的是哪种语言 what language does he use?
因为据我的经验 Because in my experience,
当他认为你值得拥有某物时 when he thinks you deserve something,
会直截了当地扔进你手里 he drops it on you like a ton of bricks.
「化学概论」第三版
好吧 Okay.
那好吧 All right.
但如果要这样做的话 But if we're gonna do this,
一定要做得干净稳妥 we're gonna do this clean and safe.
先用面包车把书运到我的餐厅 We're gonna move these to my restaurant in bread carts,
等到确保没人注意之后再进行下一步 and we're gonna sit on 'em until we know they're cold.
到时候要请第三方进行标价 Then we're gonna price them through a third party,
然后再一次性卸货转手 and we're gonna unload them in a single score.
绝对不能一本一本做小生意 None of that nickel-and-dime crap.
我可不想留下任何线索 I don't wanna leave a trail.
-好啊 -太好了 - Yeah, great. - Wonderful.
行了 先点点数吧 Okay, let's count these babies up.
没问题 Yeah, great.
我和安东尼小的时候 When we were kids,
经常玩时光机的游戏 Anthony and I would play time machine.
我们会说一声 We would go,
「天哪 我们来到了野人时代」 "Oh, no! We're in barbarian times!
「快 赶紧回到时光机里」 Quick! Back to the time machine!"
然后我们就跑回到时光机里 And then we would run back to the time machine.
没错 It's true.
正因为这样我才会觉得阿布蒂像我的弟弟 I bet that's why Abed is like a brother to me.
你们太像了 You guys are so alike.
不能根据一个时光机的故事就确信这一点 I can't accept that based on one time-machine story.
瑞秋 你跟安妮讲过你的洁碧冲牙器了吗 Rachel, did you tell Annie about your waterpik?
那我就择日不如撞日了 I suppose now is as good a time as any.
我有个洁碧冲牙器 I own a waterpik.
安妮也有一个 Annie has one too.
你们都十分关爱自己的牙齿 You guys both care for your teeth the same amount.
如果你们共用洗手间 肯定很和谐 If you shared a bathroom, it'd go pretty smoothly.
安东尼说他能修好我们的柜子 Anthony said he could fix our cabinets.
瑞秋在超市工作的时候负责擦地板 Rachel used to mop floors when she worked at Kmart.
她擦得可好了 She mops good.
咱们这是聊天呢 Is this a real conversation
还是说我们被联调局监听了 or are we being bugged by the Feds?
阿布蒂 Abed.
借一步说话 Sidebar.
你认为你死后会怎样 What do you think happens after you die?
不知道 I don't know.
你真幸运 You're lucky.
别再捧你们家瑞秋了 Stop trying to sell me on Rachel.
你也别再使劲为安东尼美言了 Stop pitching Anthony so hard.
跟冰激凌蛋糕似的 过火了哦 You're like ice cream cake out there...overkill.
我们需要一个室友 我们穷死了 We need a roommate. We're broke.
-我支持瑞秋 -我支持安东尼 - I vote for Rachel. - I vote for Anthony.
-掷硬币吗 -不 - Flip a coin? - No.
硬币会制造平行空间的 Coins create parallel timelines.
石头剪子布 Rock, paper, scissors?
那是九面硬币 That's a nine-sided coin.
用「枪林弹雨」决定怎么样 What about Pile of Bullets?
你想用一套1993年的西部主题 You wanna decide on a roommate
录像带游戏决定室友 with a 1993 old west-themed VCR game?
如果我和瑞秋赢了 瑞秋搬进来 If Rachel or I win, Rachel moves in.
如果你和安东尼赢了 我会友善地投降 If you or Anthony win, I'll politely surrender
然后开始倒数 直到他把我吃掉 and count down the days until he eats me.
好吧 就这么办 Alll right, it's settled.
-这样行吗 -慢慢来 握手需要磨合 - Is this working? - It's a handshake in progress.
谁想玩「枪林弹雨」 Who wants to play Pile of Bullets?
-我不想 -必须玩 - Not me. - You have to.
没事 不想玩就不玩 Oh, it's okay, we don't have to.
有事 必须玩 It's not okay. We do have to.
都得玩 总有一天我会告诉你原因的 We all have to, and one day we'll tell you why.
现在我们去电视区 But for now, let's simply retire to the TV area.
一起玩年少时最爱玩的 For the highest stakes 1993 interactive VCR game
1993年的一款互动录像带游戏 of your entire young adult lives.
让我验验货吧 Okay, let's see what you got.
好啊 Yeah.
好吧 Okay.
我人脉很广的 I know somebody that knows people.
我可以帮你们找个卖家 定个价 做交易 I can get you a price per book, find a buyer, and make a deal.
五五分 For half.
太扯了 That's ridiculous.
我可是承担了一半的风险 I'm assuming more than half the risk.
-五五分很公平 -不是的 - Half is fair. - Not really.
因为书是我们的 100%是我们的 Because they're ours, all 100% of them.
给你一半不是公平 是犯傻 Giving you half is not fair, it's silly.
好吧 祝你们好运 Okay, good luck.
想要再把我眼睛遮住吗 You wanna re-blindfold me?
我知道我们在东楼的E9区 I know we're in E-9 in the east wing.
因为这里一股大麻味儿 I know that because it smells like weed.
不是我的大麻 Not my weed.
听着 我愿意给她我的一半 Look, I'm willing to give her half.
听见了吗 布雷塔 Hear that, Britta?
杰夫的一半归你 You can have half of Jeff's share.
我不是那个意思 That's not what I meant.
你要给她你的一半 That's what you're offering by giving her half of the total.
要么她拿到我们收入的一半 Either she can get half of all of our money
要么拿到你的一半 or she can get half of your share.
不管怎样 你都拿到大约16% Either way, you walk away with about 16%.
-那不公平 -没错 - That's not fair. - Damn right.
这样 我们四个人平分 Here's what is: 25% for each of us.
要不要随你 布雷塔 Take it or leave it, Britta.
*把它合法化* * Legalize it *
*别昌* * Don't Chang-I... *
大伙好啊 Hey, guys.
如果这里发生了什么不正当勾当 Look, if something sketchy is happening,
我不在乎 I don't care.
我现在就闪人 So I'm just gonna back out of the room now and...
他不能走 He can't leave.
不要不要 No! No!
我什么都没看见 I didn't see anything. I did not see anything!
布雷塔 找绳子 Britta, find some rope.
绳子我有 I've got rope.
每个玩家起手六颗子弹棋子 "Each player starts with six bullet tokens,
十张金色证书和一个彩色棋子 Ten gold certificates, and a color-coded posse token."
有两种棋子 There's two types of tokens?
会玩明白的 I'm sure we'll figure it out.
你好啊 Howdy!
你们看起来很像枪手呢 You look like a real group of gunslingers.
镇里的大伙儿都很害怕 Everyone in town's mighty scared,
因为到处是金子和不法之徒 what with all the gold and the outlaws.
但我们之中只有一个人能活着出去 But only one of us can make it out alive.
我们是要抢劫这个小镇吗 Are we robbing the town?
现在你们应该准备好你们的子弹 金子 By now, you should have your bullets, your gold,
和各两枚狂野西部棋子 and two wild west tokens each.
无论如何拿好这些棋子 Hang onto those tokens no matter what.
-有两种棋子 -一样两个吗 - There's two kinds of tokens. - two each?
当你听到「拔枪」 Now when you hear the word "Draw,"
或是看到一个颜色或号码跟你或你对手的牌 or when you see a square with a color or number matching
相匹配的方块时 one of you or your opponent's cards,
第一个喊出「砰」的人 the first one of you to say, "Bang,"
将赢得被挑战对手的棋子 wins the challenged player's token
以及他们下注的黄金 and the amount of their bid in gold!
-什么 -嘘 - What's going on? - shh!
-准备好了吗 -是的 - Ready? - Yes?
-我没有 -嘘 - I'm not. - Shh!
-我们该下注吗 -拔枪 - Are we supposed to be bidding? - Draw!
-我下注 -啪 砰 - I bid! - Pow! Bang!
响尾蛇 Rattler!
砰 五 Bang! 5!
-砰 -咦嗬 - Bang? - Yee-haw!
-砰砰 五 -砰 - Bang-bang! 5! - Bang?
不赖 Not bad!
收集你赢得的棋子 我们进行下一轮 Collect your tokens and let's get on to the next round!
你在干什么 住手 What are you doing? Stop that.
他说「收集你赢得的棋子」 He said, "Collect your tokens."
他看不见你 He can't see you.
阿布蒂不是朝五神马的开枪了吗 Didn't abed shoot whoever's 5?
-拔枪 -砰砰砰 - Draw! - Bang! Bang! Bang!
奇数的玩家 交出两张牌 Odd-numbered players, give up two cards!
-拔枪 -我们有号码吗 - Draw! - we have numbers?
砰砰砰砰砰 Bang, bang, bang, bang, bang, bang.
好吧 我们玩得不太对 Okay, okay, I don't think we're doing this right.
确定这是游戏而不是文艺片吗 Are we sure this is a game and not some art film?
-现在怎么办 -倒回去重新开始 - Now what do we do? - We rewind it and start over.
-好吧 我同意 -没事的 - Okay, I'll allow it. - No, it's okay.
我们试过了 不是吗 We gave it our best shot, no?
抱歉 瑞秋 这是你家吗 I'm sorry, Rachel, is this your home?
天啊 不是 抱歉 Oh, God, no, I'm sorry.
那就得按我家规矩来 Well, this is what we're playing.
但这游戏说不通啊 But it doesn't make any sense.
看来安东尼要退出了 Oh! It sounds like Anthony wants to forfeit.
没有 别放弃 安东尼 He doesn't. Don't forfeit, anthony.
瑞秋 我们可以做到的 Rachel, we can do this.
-集中注意力 -好 - Just focus, okay? - Okay...
-你好 -你好 - Howdy! - Howdy!
我爱教科书 I love textbooks.
所以我才会偷它们 That's why I stole these.
-打住 -怎么了 - All right, knock it off. - What?
你得装得令人信服 You gotta make it sound believable
不然你就别想走 or you're not getting outta here.
-我在努力 -再努力一点 - I'm trying. - Try harder!
来 Go.
我爱教科书 I love textbooks.
所以我才会偷它们 That's why I stole them.
看看这本 Look at this one.
偷来的教科书最棒了 Stolen textbooks are the best kind.
我把它们偷来放在这间屋子里 I stole all these books and put 'em in this room
以便我亲吻它们 so I could come kiss them.
就这样 谢谢 That's all, thank you.
求你们了 我还在假释期 Please, I'm on parole!
没错 Exactly.
所以你最好闭上嘴 So keep your mouth shut
否则所有人都会看到这视频 or we'll send this file to everybody.
所有人是什么意思 What do you mean "Everybody"?
所有人 Everybody!
-我做不下去了 -什么 - Look, I can't do this anymore. - What?
我退出 太扯淡了 太... I'm out. It's too far, it's too...
邪恶了 evil.
你们分钱吧 Look, you guys can split the money.
我要安静地走开 I'm just gonna leave quietly.
再见 Good-bye.
卧槽 What the hell?
你们干什么 What the hell?
交易完成之前不能放你走 I can't let you leave until we're done with this deal.
雪瑞 上帝不会想让你这么做 Shirley, this is not what God wants you to be doing today!
这个问题我们已经考虑过了 We had our chance to think about that.
他就像丢砖头一样把这事丢在我们肩上 He dropped this on us like a ton of bricks.
对吧 汉基 Right, Hickey?
没错 Oh, yeah, definitely.
这真是太扯犊子了 Not to say that this isn't getting insane.
黑帽比尔可不会轻易原谅别人 Blackhat Bill sure ain't the forgivin' type.
-你 绿色玩家 -什么事 伙计 - You! Green player! - Yes, partner?
你能做得更好 不是吗 You can do better than that, can't you?
是的 伙计 Yes, pard-ner!
挑一个玩家 Pick another player that you want
--抽一张仙人掌牌 -我选安东尼 - to draw a cactus card. - I choose Anthony!
安东尼 抽张牌 Anthony, draw a card.
这张不错 Oh! This is a good one.
保存到快速拔枪时 Keep this for when you're in a quick draw.
-瑞秋 该你了 -我该做什么 - Rachel, your turn! - What do I do?
掷骰子 我来 You roll, you roll. Here.
好了 该我了 There. My turn.
住手 毒蛇咬伤 跳过一轮 Stop! Snake bite! Lose a turn.
-抗毒剂 -我选二 - Anti-venom. - I'll take two.
-拔枪 -砰 - Draw! - Bang!
-好 我下注五颗子弹 -我加注六颗 - Okay, I bid 5 bullets. - I raise 6.
-十一 -过 倒退 - 11. - Pass. Reverse!
-停 -咦嗬 - Hold it! - Yee-haw.
你记得说「咦嗬」吗 Did you remember to say "Yee-haw"?
没说的人跳过一轮 Anyone that didn't loses a turn.
收集你的硬币 Collect your coins!
安东尼 我用两条蛇换一颗子弹 Anthony, I'll trade you two snakes for a bullet.
说「好的」 Just say yes!
我不想死 I don't wanna die.
-阻止她 瑞秋 -砰 - Stop her, Rachel, stop her! - Bang?
不 下注五 No! Bid 5!
-龙卷风 -龙卷风 - Tornado! - Tornado!
九 龙卷风 9 Tornado!
过 七 Pass! 7!
-倒退 -二 龙卷风 - Reverse! - 2 Tornado!
-过 -加倍 - Pass! - Double!
-拔枪 -砰 - Draw! - Bang!
拜托 Oh, come on.
-你个王八羔子 -拜托 - You son of a bitch! - Come on.
-拜托拜托 -来吧来吧 - Come on, come on. - Come on, come on.
来吧 Come on!
如果有人转出了自己的子弹数目 If one of you rolled your bullet number,
那么你就是赢家 you're the winner!
快进到红区去拿你的金子吧 Fast-forward to the red screen to get your gold.
秃鹰抢食多 Well, more food for the buzzards.
就像现代一样 Looks like modern times...
时代已然来临 Have come after all.
城市再相见吧 See ya in the city.
我想回家 I wanna go home.
-我也是 -不行 我们要再玩一轮 - Me too. - No, we have to play again.
阿布蒂 我觉得你正在经历一个特殊的时期 Abed, I think you're having one of your special times, okay?
所以我会给你一些空间 So I'm gonna give you some space.
我不要空间 我要你搬到这里来 I don't want space. I want you to move in here.
-什么 -这事儿还没定 - What? - But that's not resolved!
-也有可能是安东尼搬过来 -啥 - Anthony might move in, so... - What?
我们想让你俩中的一人跟我们一起住 We want one of you to live with us.
对 所以我们用「枪林弹雨」来决出胜负 Yeah, we're settling it with a game of pile of bullets.
这种奇葩解释 That is not an explanation
鬼才愿意住在这里 that should make anybody want to live here.
阿布蒂 我不喜欢你的这一面 Abed, I don't like this side of you,
我也不喜欢这种用途的录像机技术 and I do not like that side of VCR technology.
我特高兴这种媒体已经死翘翘了 I am glad that it's a dead medium.
真是太让人难受了 That was very uncomfortable.
虽然女朋友什么的我不是很懂 I don't really know how girlfriends work,
但我觉得你跟你女友指定是掰了 but I don't think you have one anymore.
很好 酷 就在那儿见吧 Okay, cool. See you there.
我跟我的人一小时后见 I'm meeting my guy in an hour.
他想看一下样品 定个价钱 He wants to see a sample, set a price,
然后我们再交易 and then we'll do the exchange.
真要命 Oh, brother.
布雷塔根本不知道能从这个人手中拿到多少钱 So Britta doesn't know how much she's getting from
而且这人以后绝对不会再出现在大家眼前了 this guy that none of us will ever see again.
但有一件事她是确定的 But she knows one thing for sure:
那就是她会带回那东西 然后你们分红 she'll be right back with it so you can divvy it up,
包括史蒂文 even Steven.
老兄 真是老有钱了 Oh, man, that is rich.
拿什么阻止她骗取你们的钱财 What's supposed to stop her from robbing you guys blind?
能怎么做呢 报警咩 What are you gonna do, call the cops?
-我跟着她 -很好 计划不错 - I'll go with her. - Oh, yeah. Good plan.
对 把汉基丢在这里 你俩去交易 Yeah, leave Hickey here, and the two of you do the deal.
对啊 扯犊子呢 Yeah, what the hell?
我可没自愿报名去关塔那摩服刑 When did I volunteer for guantanamo duty
而你俩却大摇大摆地去往堪比赌城的古巴 while you two traipse off to the Cuban equivalent of Las Vegas?
叫哈瓦那是吧 Havana, right?
大家别听杰夫的鬼话 他想离间我们 Guys, don't listen to Jeff. He's just trying to divide us.
说这话的小姐还想独自一人去取钱呢 Says the woman who's willing to take care of the cash by herself.
就好像你就很靠得住似的 As if you're Mr. Trustworthy.
为什么你随时都能拿出绳子来 Why do you have so much access to rope?
喂 没关门的人是你好吧 Hey, you're the one who left the door unlocked
所以昌才进来了 so Chang could get in here.
我怎么知道你不是故意的 How do I know you didn't do that on purpose?
伙计们 Guys. Guys!
冷静 Calm down.
我们一定有办法解决这件事的 I'm sure we can work this out.
我们要保持冷静 好好商量 We just need to stay cool and talk it through.
不好意思 I'm sorry.
事情商量的结果不太符合我的预期 That didn't work out the way I planned.
真不好意思 I'm sorry.
但是你们让我别无选择 But you didn't leave me any choice.
你们的表现太糟糕了 You were acting very poorly,
我根本不晓得该不该相信你们 I didn't know if I could trust you anymore!
是你们逼我的 You dragged me into this.
我也不想的 I didn't want this.
你在收拾行李吗 You're packing?
对 Yeah.
-你要走 -对 - You're leaving? - Yeah.
-因为昨晚的事吗 -对 - Because of last night? - Yeah.
我觉得这其中有些问题没有得到解决 I just think there's some unresolved issues here.
你说得对 You're right.
当年我去戒毒 I'm still really hurt
妈妈却对此漠不关心 我至今还很受伤呢 by mom turning her back on me when I went to rehab.
我想我对你也有点生气 因为你站在她那边 And I guess part of me was mad at you for siding with her,
所以我寻思着要是你能搬进来 So I thought you moving in here
也算是某种精神胜利吧 was some kind of moral victory.
啥 才不是咧 What? No.
我说的没解决的问题 I mean unresolved issues
是关于这里所有照片中的黑人男子 involving the black guy in all these photographs.
-特洛伊 -我又不晓得他的名字 - Troy? - Hey, I don't know his name, man.
我只知道很显然他留下了一个真空地带 I just know he's clearly left some kind of vacuum.
还有去你的 我能对妈做什么呢 And screw you. What did I have to do with mom?
我当时才十三岁 I was 13.
我是来做第三次道歉的 I'm here to do my third-act apology.
-阿布蒂 我不觉得...-等一下 - Abed, I don't think... - Wait.
菜没上齐之前先别拒绝 Don't reject it until the whole thing's been served up.
多莱 Dobry.
请打开你的储物柜 Open your locker please.
-我想跟你说点儿事 -阿布蒂 你好萌 - I wanna tell you something. - Abed, this is adorable.
不要因为萌就认为这不重要 Just because it's adorable doesn't mean it's not important.
听我说 Listen.
我一直在加速咱俩之间的恋爱关系 I've been accelerating our relationship
因为我担心自己肯定过不了那许许多多的考验 because I've been worried I wouldn't pass a lot of the tests.
我想让你搬进来是因为我觉得 I wanted you to move in because I thought
如果有安妮指点 我搞砸的机会就会少一些 if Annie was around, I'd have less chance of screwing things up.
你没有搞砸啦 You're not screwing things up, though.
知道这一点真高兴 That's good to know.
但我总是会问题不断 But the problem with me will always be
而且我无法知道确切的原因 that I can never know for sure.
在我的生活中只有很少人 There's not a huge amount of people in my life
没有最终将我一脚踢开 that haven't eventually kicked me out,
而我也常常不知道为什么会这样 And I don't always see it coming.
我不想这一幕发生在你身上 I don't want it to happen with you.
只要别操纵我 别对我隐藏秘密 Well, don't manipulate me and don't keep secrets from me
那我们就没什么问题 and we'll probably be okay.
酷 Cool.
雨停了 It stopped raining.
对 是停了 Yeah, it sure did.
你还雇了个特技演员咩 Aww, you hired a stunt person.
我没有 No, I did not.
你从哪里得来的 Where'd you get these?
是我父亲的遗产 They were an inheritance from my father.
-他是个收藏家 -嗯 - he was a collector. - Mm-hmm.
-有多少 -一百二 - How many? - 120.
这么一堆的话 二十吧 Well, for the whole bunch, maybe 20.
-加仨零 -美元 - Thousand? - Dollars.
-两万美元 -是二十不加仨零美元 - $20,000? - 20 non-thousand dollars.
就普通的二十元 20 regular dollars.
估计你从废品回收站能拿到这个价 You might get that from a recycling place.
这些都是错版书 亲 These are misprints, honey.
你看看第105页 Check out page 105.
看不了 因为上面没印页码 Well, I can't because there's no page numbers.
是啊 这就是个问题 Ah! Well, that would be a problem.
就好比 「同学们 请翻到第...」 You know, "Class, turn to page..."
没有页码... There is no page...
好吧 如果没有页码 Oh, well, if there's no page number,
那就没法翻到那一页啦 you can't turn to it.
我的大好人生还有更重要的事情要做 I've better things to do with my life.
虽然大家都没有说过 Although we haven't been saying it,
特洛伊是我们公寓中很重要的一部分 Troy was an important part of our apartment.
他维持了和平 He kept the peace.
对 Yeah.
没了他 感觉有点抓狂 Goin' a little crazy without him.
也许我们该跟一个心理治疗师一起住 Maybe we need to live with a therapist.
或者至少是某个比我们更疯的人 Or at least someone crazier than us.
要不再上克雷格分类信息网发帖试试 Let's give Craigslist another try.
我觉得应该试试克雷格网 I think Craigslist is the way to go.
你们怎么都穿着跟昨天一样的衣服 Are you guys all wearing the same clothes from yesterday?
我们经历了一些事 We've been through some stuff.
-但我们也学到了教训 -才不是咧 - But we learned something. - No, we didn't.
我学习到了有时并没有教训可以学 We learned that sometimes there's no lesson.
-那个怎么学 -我们玩了「枪林弹雨」 - How is that learning? - We played Pile of Bullets.
咱们能赶紧开完会不 Can we just get this meeting over with?
那么清理工作进展如何 So how'd the cleanup go?
我学会了怎么微笑 I learned how to smile.
不要靠近 不要靠近我 Don't step, don't step to me.
我喜欢咖啡和水 不要靠近我 I like coffee and water, don't step to me.
娘的 我输了 Uh, damn it! I lost it.
我输了 I lost it!
好 我会回复你的 Okay. I will get back to you.
年
谁打来的 亲爱的 Who was that, sweetie?
好像他们想让我去出演那个 Guess they want me for that
狂野西部录像带棋牌游戏 wild west videotape board game thing.
-「枪林弹雨」 -对 - Pile of Bullets? - Yeah.
戴文 赶紧拿起电话 Devin, you pick up that phone right now
跟那些人打电话 and you call these people
你跟他们说你要做这份工作 and you tell 'em you want this part.
这些录像带游戏可是最尖端的产物 These VCR games is where everything is headed.
你看不出来吗 Can't you see that?
你刚成为新「星球大战」的卢克·天行者 You just became the Luke Skywalker of the new Star Wars.
-我们得搬家 -真的吗 - We've gotta move. - We do?
真真儿的 Oh, yes, indeedy.
我们要搬去洛杉矶 We have got to move to Los Angeles.
但我工作在这里啊 But I work here.
拜托 Oh, please.
苹果电脑算什么工作 You call Apple computers work?
什么破公司会给员工股票期权 What kind of company offers stock options
充当圣诞节奖金 as a Christmas bonus?
这公司快完蛋了 That ship is sinkin'.
亲爱的 Sweetie,
还记得我们讨论过尝试可卡因的事吗 remember when we were talkin' about trying cocaine?
记得... Yeah...
我觉得咱们可以开始寻摸点儿来尝尝了 I think we should start looking for some right now.
因为咱们很快就有钱能负担得起了 Because we're gonna be able to afford it.
好啊 如果你确定的话 Okay. I mean, if you're sure.
我这辈子都没这么确定过一件事 I've never been more sure about anything in my entire life.
「枪林弹雨」 Pile of Bullets.
好耶 Oh, yes!