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本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译 禁止用作任何商业盈利行为
翻译：大菜小仙女儿
翻译：夕橙老妖婆儿
时间轴：Poxle
眼镜蛇 Cobra!
摧毁泰姬陵 Destroy the Taj Mahal.
校对：夕橙
眼镜蛇 Cobra!
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
有特种部队在 休想得逞 Not if G.I. Joe can help it.
拦路虎 蛟龙 Roadblock, Deep Six.
把那些破坦克拦住 Hold off those hiss tanks.
-是 乔 -帽耳罩 口水狂 - Yo, Joe! - Hat Muffs, Spit Take,
击落那些响尾蛇战机 Shoot down those rattlers.
打扰一下 长官 Um, excuse me, sir.
眼镜蛇为什么要攻击 Why is Cobra attacking a tourist attraction
没有战略价值的旅游景点 with zero tactical value,
冒昧问一句 and with all due respect to India,
我们干嘛保卫印度 why are we defending it?
模范妹 等你当上指挥官 Tightship, you can overhaul G.I. Joe
再质疑我们特种部队吧 when you're Commander.
显然这事非常有可能 Which will clearly happen any day now,
你就继续臭显摆吧 as long as your stay on full display.
喂 扫兴姐 注意言辞 Whoa, Buzzkill, language.
不行 不能把冰激凌当午餐 No, you can't have ice cream for lunch.
让你哥接电话 Put your brother on the phone.
三娃娘 把电话挂断 Three Kids, put down that phone.
我们正打仗呢 We're in the middle of a battle.
我管你呢 火石 Oh, screw you, Flint.
我的战争叫养仨孩子 I'm in a battle called having three kids.
同志们 我们是一伙的 这让我很难堪 Guys, we're a squad. You're making me look bad.
说得这么头头是道 大翁翼 Well, if you're so great, Wingman,
做出来给我们看看 Show us how it's done.
荣幸之至 With pleasure.
我会再回来的 特种部队 We'll meet again, G.I. Joe.
好枪法 大翁翼 Good shooting, Wingman,
不过迪斯特罗要逃跑了 But it looks like Destro's getting away.
不一定哦 长官 Not necessarily, sir.
老天爷 Jeez!
啥 不要啊 你在干嘛 What? Oh, no. What are you doing?
喂 你疯了吗 Hey! Are you crazy? Wha--uh--
哟 乔 Yo, Joe!
咋了 What?
怎么不一起喊呢 What, we're-- we're not saying it together?
饰 大翁翼
哟 乔 Yo, Joe!
他将为自由而战 无论遇到什么麻烦 He'll fight for freedom, wherever there's trouble
特种部队在此 G.I. Joe is there
特种部队 美国英雄 G.I. Joe, American hero
饰 扫兴姐
饰 第四墙
*特种部队在此* * G.I. Joe is there *
废 柴 联 盟
社区大学设定版
特种部队对抗敌人眼镜蛇 It's G.I. Joe Against Cobra the enemy
为拯救世界而战 Fighting to save the day
他从不放弃 他永远守护 He never gives up, he's always there
为这片土地的自由而战斗 Fighting for freedom over land and air
特种部队 美国真英雄 G.I. Joe, a real American Hero
饰 三娃娘
特种部队在此 G.I. Joe is there
饰 模范妹
特种部队是一个代号 G.I. Joe is the code name
代表着美国勇敢无畏 训练有素 for America's daring, awesomely trained,
强大无比的威慑力量 awesome mission force.
饰 眼镜蛇副助理指挥官
目的是 与眼镜蛇战斗 Its purpose-- to fight Cobra,
因为他们是恐怖分子 because they're terrorists.
那个 我好像有点说多了 Look, I think I'm overexplaining it.
饰 超杀狂人
坏人都是恶蛇 The bad guys are snakes,
好人都是部队军人 And the good guys are army people.
他从不放弃 He never gives up
他会坚持到胜利的最后一刻 He'll stay till the fight's won
勇敢的特种部队 G.I. Joe will dare
特种部队 美国真英雄 G.I. Joe, a real American hero
特种部队 G.I. Joe
废 柴 联 盟 第五季 第十一集
「特种杰夫」
大翁翼 三娃娘 扫兴姐 模范妹 Wingman, Three Kids, Buzzkill, Tightship,
你们被指控犯有暴力行为罪 不良用语罪 You stand accused of violence, suggestive language,
以及严重违背特种部队设定的成人场景罪 and mature situations unbecoming of G.I. Joe.
你们有什么说的 What say you?
我知道这是有史以来第一次 Look, I understand this is the first time
特种部队杀光了敌人 a G.I. Joe has killed anyone in all of recorded history.
-尽管如此 -尽管如此说真心话 - However-- - However, let's be truthful.
这是一个相当无组织无纪律的民兵团 This is a very disorganized militia.
对 大家都什么军衔 Yeah, what's anyone's rank?
我们穿的跟连环杀手和脱衣舞娘一样 We're all just dressed like serial killers and strippers.
老娘有仨孩子 I have three kids.
你们说这些没用 You guys are not helping.
公爵 火石 红发女郎 Duke, Flint, Scarlett,
没错 是我杀死了迪斯特罗 Yes, it's true I killed Destro.
我发誓以后再也不这么干了 And I promise not to do it again.
但这真的是犯罪吗 But is it really a crime?
难道眼镜蛇不是冷血的恐怖组织 Is Cobra not a ruthless terrorist organization
妄想统治世界吗 determined to rule the world?
如果我们从没杀过他们 And if we never kill them,
不就是和他们同流合污了吗 are we not basically on their side?
这场战争更是绵绵无绝期 And won't this war therefore last forever
除非我们剿灭眼镜蛇 Unless we finish killing Cobra
否则我们就是自相残杀 or start killing ourselves?
我们会被关多久 冷面大王 How long are we in here, Cold Shoulder?
冷面大王 Cold Shoulder?
那人什么毛病 What's with that guy?
不剿灭眼镜蛇就是自相残杀 "Start killing Cobra or killing ourselves"?
我们已经到四攻了 这叫绝望一击 We were in the fourth down. It was a Hail Mary.
这里就是特种部队废渣们的葬身地 This place is a graveyard for G.I. Joe rejects.
看看这里有谁 Look who's in here--
深碟 鲨鱼手 Deep Dish, Shark Arms,
怪头 无家 Weird Head, Home Free,
补位员 睡眠窒息 还有我们 Place Holder, Sleep Apnea, and us!
老娘有仨孩子 I have three kids.
这是我这辈子最悲催的一天 This is the worst day of my life.
这就说一辈子了 Is it life?
我的名字是第四墙 My name is Fourth Wall.
我相信我们所认为的一辈子 And I believe that what we perceive as life
其实是电视上演的儿童卡通片 is actually a syndicated children's cartoon.
什么 别扯了 第四墙 What? Shut up, Fourth Wall.
如果这是卡通片 我们的词汇里应该有 If this were a cartoon, there'd be a word for "Cartoon"
「卡通」这个词 这里根本没有 in our language, which there isn't.
会变成动作少 细节差 There'd also be less movement, less detail,
一直嘴型对不上 and constant lip-sync mistakes.
如果我和你说 其实疑点更多呢 What if I told you there was more,
更高的现实世界 a higher reality,
拥有超过65种色彩和至少三个维度 with more than 65 colors and at least three dimensions?
那我想会有人把你和疯子关在一起 Then I guess someone would have to lock you up with the crazy people.
真够了 Oh, good.
我最近入侵了眼镜蛇的一处机密挖掘场 I recently infiltrated a secret Cobra dig site,
代码为 格林德尔 code name Greendale.
你刚才说什么 What did you say?
眼镜蛇发现了一个古代地下建筑物 Cobra has discovered an ancient buried structure
里面都是奇怪的东西 filled with strange things.
看 Look.
-对啊 你看看 -是个儿童玩具 - Oh, yeah, look at that. - It's a child's toy.
玩具在格林德尔更加真实 The toy was more real than this at Greendale.
你说哪里 What is that word?
格林德尔 Greendale?
眼镜蛇出动要占领世界 Cobra's out to take over the world,
但有特种部队在 But G.I. Joe is there.
一定要消灭特种部队 G.I. Joe must be Destroyed.
眼镜蛇嘶嘶号要来攻击了 Cobra Hiss coming for attack!
特种部队新型冲锋战机 It's the new G.I. Joe submachopter,
由大翁翼驾驶 piloted by Wingman.
-撤退 -哟 乔 - Retreat! - Yo, Joe!
我们在玩具广告里 We are in a toy commercial!
你说什么 石头太多我听不见 I can't hear you when you're covered in rocks.
都是假的不会痛 It doesn't hurt because it isn't real.
干的好 大翁翼 Good job, Wingman.
谢谢你 公爵 特种部队就是我的生命 Thank you, Duke. G.I. Joe is my entire life.
哟 乔 Yo, Joe!
所有人物角色和座驾均为单独发售 All other figures and vehicles sold separately.
-大翁翼 发生什么事了 -我不知道 - Wingman, what happened? - I don't know.
显然他是和非卡通世界连接了 He clearly has a connection to the non-cartoon reality.
当我提到格林... When I mentioned greenda--
闭嘴 不许说那个词 Shut up. Stop saying that word.
你就是个魔鬼人 You're some kind of demon man,
你的服装简直是第三层次的种族歧视 And--and your outfit is three layers of racist.
天啊 他又犯病了 Oh, my god, he's having an attack.
杰夫 能听到我们说话吗 我是安妮 Jeff, can you hear us? It's Annie.
你刚刚叫我什么 What did you just call me?
杰夫瑞 你知道你现在在哪吗 Jeffrey, do you know where you are?
安静 别打扰我 Be quiet. Leave me alone.
我不属于这里 我属于特种部队 I-I don't belong here. I belong in G.I. Joe.
啊 别碰我 谁家胳膊上按电锯啊 Ow! And don't touch me. Who wears a saw on their arm?
眼镜蛇总指挥部
距离上次伤亡天数
我第一次遇见迪斯特罗 The first time I met Destro,
他问我 是不是应该 He asked me if he should have
把脑袋都镀上铬 his entire head coated in chrome.
我说 不行 你要怎么做 I said, "No. How would you do that?"
那怎么可能呢 how would that even work?
那啥 我不太会致悼词 Look, I'm not good at eulogies
因为我没致过悼词 Because I've never had to give one.
我想知道的是 特种部队该怎么做啊 All I want to know is, how did G.I. Joe do this?
我们互相打来打去的 都二十年了 We've been shooting at each other and missing for 20 years.
现在又突然... Now all of a sudden--
难以置信 干嘛 Unbelievable. What?
眼鏡蛇指挥官 Cobra Commander,
我是眼镜蛇副助理指挥官 It's Vice Cobra Assistant Commander.
我们接收到了一组异常的能量波 We just got a very interesting energy surge
在格林德尔地区 at the Greendale site.
是吗 这也太有意思了 Oh, okay. That's super fascinating.
迪斯特罗已经死了 Um, Destro's dead!
天哪 迪斯特罗 你俩很要好吗 Oh, my Gosh, Destro? Were you guys close?
我们要好吗 要好 Were we close? Yes!
这是什么鸟问题 What kind of a question is--
好吧 我爱过他 Okay, fine. I loved him!
你们不就想知道这个嘛 Is that what you want to hear?
我就说嘛 Called it.
我们要弄清这到底是怎么回事 And we are going to find out how this happened,
特种部队一定会付出奶罩的 And G.I. Joe is going to pay-bra!
我随口说的 I riffed that.
没有错误答案 No wrong answers.
当你到达一定体重时 It's a condition that comes on
会发生这种状况 when you get to a certain weight.
哦 这样啊 Oh, I see.
那么敢问你有心上人了吗 还是... So is there a Mr. Tightship, or...
三号警报 That's a code three.
眼镜蛇部队侵入基地 Cobra forces are infiltrating the base.
眼镜蛇 Cobra!
为我的蓝颜知己报仇 Avenge my totally platonic friend!
真够了 咱们被困在这里了 Oh, great, and we're stuck in here.
不会的 We don't have to be.
十五年来 我用我的名牌汤匙 For 15 years, I have used my trademark tablespoon
挖了个隧道 to excavate a tunnel,
土坷垃石子拌饭吃 swallowing handfuls of dirt and rock with my meals
只听「破嘴乐队」的歌 and listening only to SmashMouth
就为了能贴上这张海报 in order to justify this poster.
现在我只剩几英寸就能打通... Now I am within inches of reaching the...
快来 如果我们帮助保卫基地 Come on, if we help save the base,
没准他们会让我们重回特种部队 maybe they'll let us be G.I. Joes again.
战斗位置就位 Battle stations!
六点方向有恶蛇 Snakes at 6:00.
好 记住 不许杀人 Okay, now remember-don't kill anybody.
只需压制住火力就好 像这样 Just lay down a suppressive fire, like this.
天哪 抱歉 Oh, my Gosh! I'm sorry.
上帝啊 Oh, God.
我晕 我擦 Oh, man. Oh, darn it.
要我说他们确实被镇压住了 Yeah, I'd say they're suppressed.
呀 嗷那个是「救星」咩 Jeez. Aw, was that Lifeline?
对不住啦 Sorry!
有人在搞大屠杀 Someone's killing people.
是大翁翼 他越狱了 It's Wingman! He's escaped!
压制火力 Lay down a suppressive fire!
他们在火力压制我们 They're suppressive firing at us!
我觉得咱们不会有事的 I think we'll be okay.
记住 这只是一部关于动作人偶玩具的 Remember, this is all just a cartoon
儿童卡通片而已 about action figures for kids.
闭嘴 第四墙 Shut up, Fourth Wall,
赶紧登上特种部队新型冲锋战机 and get into the new G.I. Joe Submachopter
配备一对火箭炮 外加旋转喷射器 with twin rocket launchers and rotating attack jet.
我只想做一个优秀的特种兵 All I want to do is be a good G.I. Joe.
我到底是怎么了 What's wrong with me?
不清楚 不过我觉得一切答案尽在格林德尔 I'm not sure, but I think our answers will be at Greendale.
话说没人负责开飞机吗 Shouldn't somebody be flying the plane?
-这是冲锋战机 -管他呢 - It's submachopter. - Whatever.
有没有人能抓住那个杆子 Will somebody grab the stick?
我可不想魂断蓝天 上帝啊 I don't wanna die up here! Oh, Lord!
特种部队反叛者比眼镜蛇更邪恶 The G.I. Joe mutineers are even worse than Cobra
因为他们都是叛徒 because they're traitors.
-扫兴姐 -所有政府都满口谎言 - Buzzkill... - All government is a lie.
模范妹 Tightship...
我要控制一切 或其他什么的 I control everything, or else!
-三娃娘 -我的家人永远排第一位 - Three Kids... - My family comes first.
第四墙 Fourth Wall...
这个人是不是也给希曼的广告配过音 Doesn't this guy also do the voice for He-Man commercials?
以及他们邪恶无比 And their nefarious,
冷酷无情的头儿 大翁翼 ruthless leader, Wingman.
不是这样的 Hey, that's not true!
我爱「特种部队」 I love G.I. Joe!
这可说不准 看起来你恨它 I don't know, man. Seems like you hate it.
这都是误会 This is all a misunderstanding.
跟法官说去吧 Tell it to the judge.
「特种部队: 反叛者」
所有组件均单独发售 需要组装 Everything is sold separately. Assembly required.
天下太平 Nothing is happening.
要喝卡通咖啡吗 Cartoon coffee?
模范妹在驾驶冲锋战机 Tightship is piloting the submachopter.
一开始是扫兴姐 但她几乎坠了五回机 At first it was Buzzkill, but she almost crashed five times,
我们一跟她挑明 and when we pointed it out,
她说我们性别歧视 就去卫生间了 she called us sexist and went to the bathroom.
你也知道她是在里面抽烟呢 对吧 You know she's smoking in there, right?
她弄坏了烟雾报警器 简直是联邦犯罪 She broke the detector. That's a federal crime.
我老是出现这些幻觉 I keep having these visions.
小孩子 小男孩 Kids, little boys...
这些幻觉是不是该上报当局 Uh, are these visions we should share with the authorities?
我想去那个叫格林德尔的地方 I want to go to this Greendale place now.
我们正在路上 We're on our way.
你还记得格林德尔吗 杰夫瑞 Do you remember Greendale, Jeffrey?
你干嘛老喊我这个名 你们这帮人闹哪样 Why did you call me that? What's with you people?
「你们这帮人」是什么意思啊 What do you mean, "You people"?
-嗷 -赞 - Oh! - Nice.
这里是通往挖掘场的入口 That's the entrance to the excavation site.
我们怎么冲过那些守卫 How do we get past those guards?
我有个主意 I think I got an idea.
你所谓的主意不就是 Your idea was doing exactly what we did
之前我们对付总部守卫的方法吗 to those other guards back at headquarters?
这主意证明效果显著 It was proven effective.
我不晓得 感觉好掉价 I don't know, seems kind of cheap.
从动画角度来看 非常掉价 From an animated perspective, very cheap.
帮我把这个门打开 Help me club this hatch open.
我知道这个地方 I know this place.
这里给我一种感觉 永无止境的不公平薪水 It's filling me with a sense of endless hours for unfair wages
还有永远都缺墨粉的打印机 and printers that never have toner.
这是什么 迪克少校 What is this, Major Dick?
危险工种津贴的申请书 That is a request for hazard pay.
也许你没听说过 Maybe you haven't heard,
但现在我们真的会死 but we can actually die now.
你知道我们负担不起这个 You know we can't afford this.
那我们就能负担得起 Oh, so we can afford to create
一周造一辆武装车的新模型吗 a new model of weaponized vehicle once a week,
而我们却冒着生命危险拿着最少的薪水 but we basically get minimum wage to risk our lives.
欢迎来到眼镜蛇 极赞赞 Well, welcome to Cobra, Ximxam.
你也许注意到了我们的标志就是一条蛇吧 Maybe you noticed our logo was a snake?
忍着吧 伙计们 Suck it up, guys!
正好你们都在这儿 拿去 And while I have your attention, here.
什么玩意儿 What is this?
我们得削减薪水 保险金上涨了 We have to lower the salaries. Our insurance is going up.
-不可以 -啥 - No way. - What?
喂 你们现在都能死了 Hey, you people can actually die now.
这会影响到卫生保健计划 It affects the health plan.
眼镜蛇副助理指挥官 Vice Cobra Assistant Commander,
特种部队入侵这里了 we've been infiltrated by joes!
是吗 Well?
保护我 Protect me!
你好 格林德尔 Hello, Greendale.
我知道特种部队已经突破了防线 I understand G.I. Joe has breached the perimeter.
请消灭他们 Please eliminate them.
还有别忘了这周六有眼镜蛇趣味长跑哟 And please don't forget this Saturday is the Cobra Fun Run.
如果错过 就是把冠军拱手相让给反恐组了 If you miss it, you're letting the antiterrorists win.
超杀狂人 Ugh, Overkill.
没错 正是在下 Yes, it's me.
不过哪个我 But which me
才是真正的我呢 is the real me?
大概是那个站在中间的 Probably the one in the middle.
中间的 对吧 The middle, right?
嗷呜 我的腿 嗷 Aah! Ow, my leg! Ow!
在咱俩打架之前 特种兵 Now, before you fight me, G.I. Joe,
你可得小心了 you should be warned.
我 极赞赞 有一个双胞胎兄弟叫极限限 I, Ximxam, have a twin brother named Mixmax
能够感受到我所有的痛楚 that feels all my pain.
这对我们能有毛影响 And how is that supposed to affect us?
心理影响 Psychologically?
今天的汤是胡萝卜浓汤 Today's soup is a carrot puree
里面还加了 嗷 该死 with a...ow! Damn it! Aah!
抱歉 我的双胞胎兄弟是... Sorry. My twin brother is a...
解释什么的根本毫无意义 It's pointless to explain.
好痛啊 Hurts so much! Right?
我的半月板被打碎了 It shredded my meniscus!
吼 吼 吼 Whup! Whup! Whup!
早知道就不做这个动作了 Shouldn't have done that. Ooh.
不行了 这动静人家不喜欢 Nope. Don't like that sound.
不可思议 Incredible.
这个地方好像存在某种东西 It's as if there's something about this place
是以吞噬志气为生的 that feeds on ambition.
我来自这里 我在这里工作 I came from here. I work here.
我的名字叫杰夫·翁格 你是安妮 My name is Jeff Winger. And you're Annie.
还有...雪瑞 And...and Shirley.
阿布蒂和布雷塔 And Abed and Britta.
布雷塔 这破名是要闹哪样 Britta? What kind of lame name is that?
我要当扫兴姐 因为人家的电锯特别酷 I wanna be Buzzkill because of my awesome saw.
你们是我现实生活中的朋友 You guys are my friends in real life.
这里是我的想象世界什么的 This is my imagination or something.
所有人都不许动 Freeze, everybody!
别逼我射你们 Don't make me zap you!
克拉格 是我 杰夫 Craig, it's me, Jeff.
杰夫瑞 你还好吗 Jeffrey! Are you okay?
他不好 作为资深妄想狂 请相信我的话 No, he's not. Take it from an expert in delusion.
如果杰夫的幻觉中出现了很酷的东西 If Jeff's hallucinating something this cool,
那表示事情大条了 他得马上回去 something's wrong, he needs to get back.
大翁翼 你有飞翼包吗 Wingman, do you have your wingpack,
-还是飞翼包是单独发售的 -在这儿呢 - or is it sold separately? - Here it is.
很好 我的第四墙穿透力 That's good, my Fourth Wall penetrating powers
联合这个缺乏内在逻辑的媒介 combined with this medium's lack of internal logic
应该能让我得出一个极为简单的解决方案 should allow me to come up with an oversimplified solution.
我去去就回 我得去找东西 I'll be right back. I have to get something.
-找什么 -真相 - What? - The truth.
翁格先生
杰夫 欢迎加入俱乐部——皮尔斯
驾驶执照
玛蛋 Oh, crap.
杰夫 在你离开的这段时间 Ah, Jeff, while you were gone,
我已经把所有情况都弄清楚了 I figured everything out
而且把需要做的事情都搞定了 and did everything that needs to be done.
这也许是你的幻想 但最聪明的还是在下 This may be your delusion, but I'm still the one on the ball.
我知道为什么我会在这里了 我昏迷了 I know why I'm here. I'm unconscious.
杰夫·翁格昏迷了 因为他... Jeff Winger's unconscious, because he...
我喝了一整瓶的威士忌 I drank a fifth of scotch.
我还吃了点儿小药丸 And I took some pills.
杰夫瑞 你可真丢人 我可是有仨娃呢 Jeffrey, shame on you. I have three kids.
你是说你想... Are you saying you tried to...
不是 只是一些永葆青春药丸 No, they were these stupid youth pills
我从韩国城买的 that I bought in Koreatown.
吃这药丸的原因是我过生日... I took them because it's my birthday and...
我之前谎报了年龄 I've been lying about my age.
这种事我还没做好准备面对 Yeah, it's not something I'm really ready to deal with.
我想你找到一种方法解决这一问题了 I guess you found a way to deal with it
那就是昏迷中通过精神妄想搞定 unconsciously through a psychotic break.
这种事情见怪不怪 Happens to the best of us.
现在看一下 这是现实的三层空间 Now, these are the three layers of reality.
我们现在在卡通层 We are in the cartoon layer.
它是从真人电影层分离出来的 It's separated from the live-action layer
将这两者相隔的危险中间层叫做儿童玩具广告 by a dangerous mid-layer called children's toy commercials,
我相信你已经在幻觉中看到了 which I believe you're seeing in your visions.
我会改装你的飞翼包好打破这道屏障... I've modified your wingpack to break this barrier, and...
我不要回去 I'm not going back.
杰夫 你必须回去 Jeff, you have to go back.
我不想变成一个社区大学的中年老师 I don't wanna be a middle-aged community college teacher.
我就想待在特种部队里 I wanna be in G.I. Joe.
我想为自由而战 I wanna fight for freedom
哪里有难就奔赴哪里 永远如此 wherever there's trouble forever.
杰夫 你这番自白太幼稚了 Jeff, that's your ten-year-old self talking.
你遁入了自己大脑中某个很幼稚的部分 You've receded into some infantile part of your mind.
假想版布雷塔说得对 只是假想哦 Imaginary Britta is right. And only imaginary Britta.
你现在出现的这些幻觉中 In these visions you're having,
有一个巨大的孩子在控制着你 a giant child is controlling you.
你必须摆脱他的控制 You have to get away from him.
我就是他 这就是重点所在 I am him! That's the point.
我创造了这里 我选择了这里 I created this. I chose this.
那你知不知道真实世界中的杰夫·翁格 But do you understand that the real Jeff Winger
正处于一种真真切切的生命危险中呢 is in some kind of actual, real medical jeopardy?
好像那些狗血连续剧一样 Like the kind in a one-hour drama?
杰夫 拜托 我不要你死 Jeff, please. I don't want you to die.
你能听到我吗 Can you hear me?
我只是在那个世界死去了 安妮 I'm only dying out there, Annie.
在这里 我们会永生不朽 In here we're immortal.
瞅瞅我赐予你的绝世双峰 Look at the rack I gave you.
它们会永远坚挺不倒 傲视群胸 Those are gonna stay right where they are for an eternity.
不客气 You're welcome.
哟 乔镜蛇 Yo, Jobra!
暗喻特种部队[G. I. Joe]和眼镜蛇[Cobra]联手
「哟 乔镜蛇」 "Yo, Jobra"?
我们讨论了一下 发现了 We talked it over and realized that since
大家互相都杀不死对方 我们就组队了 none of us can kill each other, we might as well team up.
鉴于我们都有一个共同的敌人 Seeing as we've got a common enemy.
抓住他们 Seize them!
你不能抓我 You can't seize me.
我是你这个现实世界的创造者 I am the creator of your reality.
我就是「黑客帝国1」结尾时的尼奥 I am Neo in the third act of the Matrix.
我还是「黑客帝国2」开场时的尼奥 I'm also Neo in the first act of the second Matrix.
我还没抽出时间看第三部 I didn't get around to seeing the third one,
但我猜应该是...嗷 but my guess is...oh!
眼镜蛇和特种部队终于联合了 Cobra and G.I. Joe have finally united.
你们有什么需要吗 Do you guys need anything?
我们可能需要一些牛奶 We could probably use some milk.
咱们给特种部队拿点牛奶吧 Let's go get some milk for G.I. Joe.
我会在这个牢房里等着直到你们能将我洗脑 I'll wait it out in this cell until you guys can reeducate me.
哟 乔镜蛇 Yo, Jobra!
哟 乔镜蛇 Yo, Jobra.
部分需组装 牛奶单独出售
所有人物角色均配有附件 All figures come with their own accessories.
大翁翼单独出售什么的 Wingman sold separately or something.
看来某人意「丝」清醒了啦 Ah, look who'ssssss conscious again.
你在发「S」音时太过刻意了吧 You're pretty selective with those snake "S"s.
你算老几 我的人生导师咩 What are you, my life coach?
我本来想就你的外形特征吐吐槽 I'd make fun of some physical detail about you,
玛蛋毛都找不出 but there aren't any.
你就像是雅利安橄榄球员角色 You look like some aryan foosball figure.
伙计们 你们没必要关着我 Guys, you don't have to keep me prisoner.
我和你们的目标是一致的 I want what you want.
我们不能放任你跑来跑去 大翁翼 We can't just have you running around, Wingman.
你的力量实在太强大了 You're too powerful.
那就让我们分享这份力量吧 So let's share the power.
我们可以做这里的上帝直到永远 We can be Gods here forever.
真的咩 For realsies?
当然了 我可不想离开这里 Absolutely. I don't wanna leave here.
我就想跟你们混 没事搞点爆炸 I wanna hang out with you guys and blow stuff up.
好吧 Hmm. All right.
-哟 乔镜蛇 -哟 乔镜蛇 - Yo, Jobra. - Yo, Jobra.
哟 乔镜蛇 Yo, Jobra.
你介不介意我们问一些关于真实世界的问题 Say, do you mind if we ask you a few questions about real life?
没问题 No problem.
-问嘛 -那个... - Ask. - So...
咪咪到底长啥样儿 What do boobies look like?
等下 你们不知道吗 Wait. You don't know?
你们从没见过裸女吗 You guys have never seen a naked woman?
你说得没必要那么伤人嘛 You don't have to make us feel bad.
你们有尝过威士忌的味道吗 Have you guys ever tasted scotch?
威士忌酒在这里存在吗 Does scotch liquor exist here?
话说哈 You know what?
我能去一下洗手间不 Can I just go to the bathroom real quick?
可以 右手边第二道门 Sure. It's the second door over there on the right.
喂 我们这里根本不去洗手间 Hey! We can't go to the bathroom!
呆子 他逃跑了 Fool! He's getting away!
这个最好能用 This had better work.
不要不要 等一下 No, no, no, wait!
放开我 我要回家 Get off me! I wanna go home!
带我一起走 我想看妹纸们的咪咪 Take me with you! I want to see women's boobs!
我们没法一起走 We can't both go!
你害得我都减速了 放手啊 You're slowing me down! Let go!
我能感觉到 没错 I can feel it! Yes!
我能感觉到现实世界了 I can feel reality!
我从未有过如此的活力无限 I've never felt so alive!
你是虚构人物 你根本撑不过去的 Because you're fictional! You can't survive this!
等下 为什么我的后背那么痛 Wait, why does my back hurt?
为什么我的身体到处都痛 Why do I just have random pains in my body?
为什么我欣赏新音乐的能力在逐渐消失 Why is my ability to appreciate new music diminishing?
需要加速了... Need to gain speed before...
大翁翼正在努力逃离「特种部队」 Wingman is trying to escape G.I. Joe,
现在需要你用自己内心那个孩童的小手 And it's up to you to hold him back
来把他拖住 with your inner child's hand.
该死 没成功 Damn it, I didn't make it.
不是我在控制他 他在自己飞 I'm not controlling him! He's doing this himself!
去死吧 死小孩 Screw you, kid!
他烧到我的手了 Ow! He burnt my hand.
大翁翼的飞翼包目前还未上架 The Wingman wingpack is not available in stores.
请自己控制玩具 You control the toy.
控制个屁 You control it, my ass.
-它干什么呢 -让你变成男子汉 - What is it doing? - Making a man of you.
所有组件均单独出售 Everything sold separately.
所有人最后都死翘翘了 Everyone dies eventually.
无人逃出生天 Nobody gets out alive.
他睁眼了 His eyes are opening.
嗯 有时人死了也这德性 Yeah, but that happens when people die too.
-杰夫 杰夫瑞 -布雷塔 别打他 - Jeff! Jeffrey! - Wait, Britta, don't slap him!
杰夫瑞 是我啊 院长 我在这里呢 Jeffrey, it's me, the dean. I'm right here.
等等 不对 我觉得你应该... Wait, wait, no, no, I think you have to...
住手 我醒了 Oh, stop it, I'm awake.
杰夫 你一直都在隐瞒自己的生日对吗 Jeff, you've been keeping your birthday a secret?
是啊 大部分人都会吃个蛋糕 Yeah. Most people have cake.
而不是一整瓶威士忌和乱七八糟的玩意儿 Not a fifth of scotch and what the hell else.
「逆转年龄 延年益寿之奇效」 "Age reverse, life extend power"?
这是韩文 This is Korean.
-那我是哪国人来着 -中国人 - Okay, what am I? - Chinese!
向上帝发誓我以为自己是韩国人 Okay, I swear to God I feel Korean.
伙计们 Guys...
我四十岁了 I'm 40.
什么 What?
我好难过 Wow. I'm so sorry.
好吧 我们知道了 Yeah, we knew that.
我想我们都知道 You know, I guess we knew that
初相识时你是三十多岁 you had to be around 30 when we met.
这都过了五年了 Yeah, and it has been five years.
即便当年是32岁 我们也知道这个人已经 And even if he had been 32, we'd have to know he would be...
这根本没啥帮助 This isn't helping.
你们都知道我38了 是吧 You guys know I'm 38, right?
开玩笑 I'm kidding.
杰夫 你几十年内都不会死啊 But, Jeff, you shouldn't almost die over a number.
重要是这个几十年的范围 What's important are ranges of numbers.
你还处于18到49岁之间 还剩了十年呢 You're still 18 to 49 for almost a decade.
这对社会颇有价值哦 That's valuable to society.
话说你那些小药丸还有吗 You have any more of these pills left?
我做了一个最疯狂的梦 I had the craziest dream.
世界全部被动画化了 It was all animated
是「特种部队」卡通片 你们都在里面 and a G.I. Joe cartoon, and you were all in it.
在里面 有多深 In it? How much?
你给我穿了什么衣服呀 What clothes did you draw me in?
全部动画化了吗 Mm, fully animated?
但这只是个梦 因为你昏迷了 But it was all a dream because you were unconscious.
记得我那次圣诞节... Remember that Christmas when I...
记得 Yes!
杰夫 这是给你的礼物 Jeff, here's your present.
医院的礼物店选择很有限 Slim pickings at the hospital gift shop,
但我们好歹挑了个 but we made do.
「这是个老男孩」 "It's a old boy."
没错 他是个老男孩 Yes. He is a old boy.
他是个老男孩 He's a old boy.
来抱抱 伙计们 Bring it in, guys.
杰夫 Jeff!
话说 我有个老搭档 Hey, listen, I got a former partner
从89年就一直在这里昏迷着 所以 that's been here since '89 in a coma, so...hmm.
1889年吗 1889?
翁格 你可真逗 Winger, you're funny.
乔·迈克
好酷哦 也写上我的名字嘛 This is cool! Make my name too.
-你们是山顶洞人吗 -扫兴姐 - What are you guys, cavemen? - Buzzkill!
你们的所作所为是对喷漆的浪费 What you're doing is a waste of spray paint.
我们生活在一个伪装成民主的法西斯极权国家 We live in a fascist police state disguised as democracy.
你们以为靠欢庆自己毫无意义的身份 You think you're gonna shatter that illusion
就能粉碎这种幻觉吗 by celebrating your own meaningless identities?
-布道结束了吗 -第四墙 - Is church over yet? - Fourth Wall!
一部优秀的卡通片在结尾总会给大家上一课 A good syndicated cartoon has a lesson at the end.
但如果太过严厉或唠叨会让整整一代人 But getting heavy-handed or preachy could turn
变成疲倦不堪 尖酸刻薄的宝宝 an entire generation into jaded, sarcastic babies.
-要友好又直观 -记得内容要简单 - Be friendly and direct. - And keep the message simple.
乱涂乱画不好 去做运动吧 Graffiti is bad. Go play sports.
-酷 -知道啦 - Cool! - I get it!
我本来正努力让他们遵守更高的标准 I was trying to hold them to a higher standard.
如果媒体告诉孩子该想什么 他们只会知道 If the media tells kids what to think, all they'll know is...
知道就是成功的一半了 And knowing is half the battle.
什么 What?