根据除恶清单来看 So according to the demonologist,
体育馆已经清洁完毕 the gymnasium is clean.
哎呦 待摘星都摘光了 Jeez, we're running out of to-do stars.
已经处理了 Already dealt with.
做更多的待摘星
不可思议 It's hard to believe.
冥冥之中 Somewhere along the way,
我们开始改变这个学校的命运了 we started turning this school around.
刚刚什么情况 What the hell was that?
什么什么情况 What was what?
冗长寂静的停顿 我不喜欢 That long, quiet lull. I don't like it.
那叫知足常顿 哥们儿 It's called contentment, dude.
没错 我们从来不知足 Exactly. We're never content.
总有人不满 Someone's always got to have a problem.
我没不满啊 I've got a problem.
我不满阿布蒂不满我们没有不满 I don't like Abed's problem with our lack of problems.
好耶 Okay.
我评论了他的评论 I commented on his commentary.
画个圈圈 圈住了阿布蒂呀 宝贝 I just drew a circle around Abed, baby.
把别人的创意框住又不是好事 I don't think it's nice to pigeonhole people's gimmicks.
听到了吗 两种声音 You hear me, two voice?
阿布蒂 让我们享受一下平和和静止 Abed, let us have a moment of peace and stillness.
这可是很稀罕的感觉 They're kind of rare around here.
我只是要说 这是暴风雨前的宁静 All I'm saying is, calm before the storm.
出自暴风雨发生源头之口 Says the storm generator.
好吧 没问题 让我们知足常顿 All right, fine. Let's be content.
注意 格林德尔全校师生请注意 Attention, students and faculty of Greendale.
我不小心按到了广播键 I pressed this button on accident
顺便问个好吧 But might as well check in.
你们好吗 How are you?
好 Fine.
哎呦 好贴心哦 我也很好 Aw, that's nice. I'm good too.
我爱你们哦 I love you guys.
我们也爱你 We Love you too.
■
本字幕由人人影视字幕组翻译 禁止用作任何商业盈利行为
翻译：大菜听不出来好闹心 CiciXT
翻译：大卫熊 夕橙不拖不舒服斯基
时间轴：Poxle
校对：夕橙
后期：鱼骨头
总监：夕橙
废柴联盟 第五季第十二集
你咨询的信息... The information you have requested...
在网上有 is on the internet.
校董会 宝贝 School board, baby.
校董会成员驾到 School board guys coming in.
你们如果先敲个门我会感激不尽 I would appreciate some knocking.
里头干嘛呢 你知道吗 Do you know what goes on in here?
提示一下 Just a heads-up.
明天要来一个保险评估员 There's an insurance appraiser coming tomorrow.
你的屁股将会被保险业评鉴 Your ass is getting appraised insurance-style.
什么意思 What does that mean?
我们希望这意味着我们发现 We hope it means we find out
你的学校对市里非常非常重要 that your school is very, Very valuable to the city.
那也太搞笑了 Hey, how hilarious would that be?
你俩是喝大了吗 Are you guys drunk?
祝你证明成功 小心为时过晚 Good luck proving it before we're not.
草莓 Strawberry.
熟过头了 Too ripe.
你们已经玩了30分钟了 You guys have been doing this for 30 minutes.
那能怎样 So what?
我把蔬菜都消除了 I made all the vegetables disappear.
通常30分钟里会发生很多事 Usually, a lot more than this happens in 30 minutes
我说的就是这个意思 Is all I'm saying.
我们很放松很开心啊 We're just relaxed and happy.
比起你们关心的东西 我更关心这个 I care more about this than anything I've ever cared about.
花的最值的199美元 Best $199 I've ever spent.
3美元吧 It's $3.
你玩的是什么 What are you playing?
那是控制什么灌溉系统的软件 That's control software for some kind of irrigation equipment.
很好玩的 It's fun.
拯救格林德尔委员会 集合 Save Greendale committee, unite.
咣 Boom.
明天要来一个保险评估员 An insurance appraiser is coming tomorrow
来对学校进行评估 to inspect the school,
如果他评估我们学校不好 And if he doesn't appraise us good,
学校就完了 毁了 The school is doomed, doomed.
冒险在召唤 召唤去冒险 Call to adventure. Call to adventure.
什么叫保险评估员 What's an insurance appraiser?
听起来普通又无聊 Something that sounds normal and boring
其实是很恐怖 就像拱出来的大痣 But is actually scary, like a raised mole
或者是火鸡炸锅 Or a turkey deep fryer.
原来只有一个人被保险评鉴通过了 There's only one man qualified to appraise insurance,
两千年前死在十字架上了 and he died 2,000 years ago on a cross.
我见过保险评估员的血 I've seen insurance appraisers bleed.
他们的血不一样 更黑 Their blood's different, darker.
各位 歇了吧 Everyone, take a breath.
你们反应太大了 因为这个学校危机上瘾 You're overreacting because this school is addicted to crisis.
就像卡特里娜飓风里的狗狗 They're like one of those hurricane katrina dogs
再也不愿意让人抚摸 That won't let anyone pet them anymore.
奇怪的是我们要习惯现在 But the weird thing we need to get used to is this:
学校现在状况很好 The school's in decent shape.
这不是什么大事 This doesn't have to be a big deal.
我给报纸写过那些狗的报道 I wrote a paper on those dogs.
我们努力了整个学期来拯救这个学校 We've worked hard all semester to save this school.
事实是 我们做到了 Truth is, we did.
所以放心吧 So relax.
-确定吗 杰夫瑞 -我保证 - Are you sure, Jeffrey? - I promise.
杰夫的心是好的 可他说错了 Jeff's heart is in the right place, but he's wrong.
格林德尔是疯狂的地方 会发生疯狂的事情 Greendale is a crazy place where crazy things happen.
我有一个计划 I have a plan.
假装我们学校有个世界闻名的科系 We'll pretend our school has a world-renowned physics department.
院长 学瑞典语去 Dean, start learning Swedish.
我全力以赴 I'll do my best!
汉基 你和你抓过的 Hickey, do you keep in touch with
精神不稳定罪犯还有联系吗 any unstable criminals that you busted?
五个 Five.
让他们过来量下服装尺寸 Get them down here for costume measurements.
安妮 我们要用纸巾盒子 Annie, we need to make a particle accelerator
造一个粒子加速器 out of kleenex boxes.
不 都不许去 Nope. Nobody do any of that.
阿布蒂 借一步说话 Abed, outside.
这没有故事可演 There is no story.
每个人都是一个故事 杰夫 Everything's a story, Jeff.
下个床都有故事 这当然是有故事的 Getting out of bed is a story. Certainly this is a story.
从自习室开始 I mean, start with the study room.
我们知足了 我担忧了 We're content. I'm concerned.
跳过水果对对碰部分 Skip the fruit-matching stuff.
院长带着保险评估员的故事进来 Dean enters with the insurance appraiser story,
召唤 拒绝 Call, refusal.
你其实拖着我跨越了一个不许有故事的阈值 You're literally dragging me across a threshold demanding
从而让我跨入了一个全新的世界 there be no story, which puts me into a whole new world
一个需要我必须适应的新世界 that I'm gonna have to adapt to.
那你就自己一个人玩吧 拜托 Well, you have to do it by yourself, please.
好吗 Okay?
因为如果这次评估有故事 Because if this appraisal is a story,
就说明我们有问题 而我们现在没问题 That means we're in trouble, and we are not in trouble,
因为如果我们... Because if we are...
不许有故事 No more stories.
一会见了 So we'll see you later.
没有故事发生以后 After no story.
没故事 No story.
那好吧 So be it.
没有故事... Let the lack of story...
每个柜子后面放一个诱饵 Oh, put one trap behind each cabinet.
不过我觉得已经不用了 Although I think we're good.
反正蟑螂都快被餐厅的饭杀光了 The cafeteria food killed most of the roaches anyway.
你看我找到什么了 Hey, check it out.
好像是个结婚戒指 Is this a wedding ring?
不是吧 Are you kidding?
什么... What...
我来的第一周就把这个丢了 I lost this my first week here.
谁这么幸运能... Oh, who's the lucky...
这是我妈妈的 It's my mom's.
我戴着是因为 我也不知道 I started wearing it because--I don't know.
每个人都盼着能有个归宿不是吗 Everybody dreams of settling down, right?
而且这个大小也合适 And because it fits.
她手指比一般女的都粗 She had huge fingers for a woman,
就是这点把她害死了 part of what killed her, really.
我可不盼着有什么归宿 I'm not dreaming about settling down.
也许你已经有归宿了 Well, maybe you already have.
你在教书 你也喜欢教书 You're teaching, and you like it.
你喜欢格林德尔 You love Greendale.
错了 我只喜欢威士忌和我自己 No, I love scotch and myself.
我能忍受格林德尔 I tolerate Greendale.
这是所好学校 It's a good school.
所以我们没必要搞得紧张兮兮的 That's why there's no need for this to get sentimental.
布雷塔和特洛伊约会之后 This inspection is going to be the most boring thing
最无聊的事就是这个审查了 to happen here since Britta dated Troy.
好吧 没故事 All right, no story.
等等 Wait.
要是没有故事 我在解释什么呢 If there's no story, what am I explaining?
我就在故事里 I'm in a story.
阿布蒂 思考 Okay, think, Abed, think.
怎样拆穿一个故事 How do you shake a story?
答案 The answer
就在教师休息室里 is in the teacher's lounge.
-他来了 他来了 -知道了 - Here he comes, here he comes. - Okay.
大家好 我叫罗纳德·默罕默德 Hi, there. My name is Ronald Mohammed.
随你们怎么想 我早习惯了 Go ahead. I've heard them all.
格林德尔市政府派我来 The city of Greendale has sent me here
评估这座校园的负债水平 to assess this campus' level of liability.
负债是什么意思呢 Now, what do I mean by liability?
此处liability一词多义
根据政府定义 Well, the city defines liability
负债是指由任何有资质当事方引起的 as any asserted or non-asserted perturbation
任何确定及不确定的扰动 by any qualifying party.
此处party一词多义
当事方又是什么 What's a party?
当事方是指一个人或一群人 A party is a person or a group of persons
还可以指为一个或一群人开的派对 or an event celebrating a person or a party of persons'
庆祝生日 婚姻 birth, marriage...
别紧张 杰夫瑞 Don't panic, Jeffrey.
什么 我没事 Hmm? I'm fine.
我是最淡定的一个了 I'm the only one who's not panicking.
拜托 Oh, please.
你可以自欺欺人 但别想蒙我 You can lie to yourself, but don't lie to me.
但市政府规定任何有四条腿 But the city defines a dog as any living entity
和一条尾巴的生命体都是狗 with four legs and a tail,
所以浣熊 熊 美洲狮 耗子 so raccoons, bears, mountain lions, mice--
这些都是不同大小的狗 These are all just different sizes of dog.
这里的「大小」又是什么意思 What do I mean by "size"?
我给你们讲个故事 I'll tell you a story.
你说这是什么意思 What's that supposed to mean?
我知道你有多在乎这座校园 杰夫 I know how much you feel for the campus, Jeff.
我还知道你有多少感情 I know how much you feel in general.
我知道你觉得有感情是弱点 And I know you think it's a weakness,
但相信我 这是你的长处 but believe me, it's your strength.
你还真铁齿铜牙 You got something in your teeth.
你得学会流露真情 Mm-hmm, you got something in your chest.
四十万加仑的液态马肉 400,000 gallons of liquefied horse meat.
我来了 Here I come.
有点 Just...
你会发现别人面包 "And you shall find that salt is the taste
味道是怎样的咸 "of another man's bread,
也会发现别人台阶是怎样的难爬 and hard is the way up and down another man's stairs."
但丁的 Dante.
我们继续吧 Let's proceed.
不要啊 No!
每次都是有故事的 It's always a story.
所有一切都是故事所需 Everything is a story.
等等 故事发展需要矛盾冲突 Wait. Wait. Wait. Story feeds on conflict.
只要我不抗拒 这就不是故事了 If I stop resisting, it'll stop being a story.
不 阿布蒂 No, Abed.
长胡子的我 Me with a beard?
继续抗拒这个故事 Keep fighting the story.
继续抗拒直到故事崩溃 Keep fighting it until it falls apart.
我猜对了 I'm right.
不对 我错了 I mean I'm wrong.
我是对的 我是错的 I mean I'm right. I mean I'm wrong.
省省吧 Unsubscribe.
在评估的最后阶段 For the final stage of my appraisal,
我将随机选择一台自动售货机 I am going to randomly select one of your vending machines
检验它是否会在人力作用下 to see if it can be rocked using human strength
被晃倒然后压死我 enough to tip and crush me.
美国每年都有六人因此死亡 Now, in the U.S., each year, six people die this way,
其中五位都是保险评估员 and five of them are insurance appraisers,
所以我很重视这项检查 我们开始吧 so I take this very seriously. Here we go.
好了 Okay.
抱歉我们迟到了 Sorry we're late.
看哪 是罗纳德·默罕默德 Hey, look. It's Ronald Mohammed.
这名字起得真不错哈 How about that name?
好了 罗纳德 有多糟糕 All right, Ronald, what's the damage?
我们今年得为这个小破地方 How much is this scampy, little hole in the earth
花多少钱 gonna cost us this year?
你们煤气泄漏的问题已经解决了 Well, your gas leak is repaired,
所有消防逃生通道的确都通向室外 all your fire exits actually lead outside,
我还听说过去一星期 and I am told that no new species
都没人发现新生物了 have been discovered here in a week.
我不得不说 我本是来评估 I have to say, I was brought in here to estimate
格林德尔负债水平的 但现在 Greendale's liability, but at this point in time,
我认为此校园是合格的物业地产了 I'd describe this campus as an actual property asset.
这地产值钱了 This property has value.
前所未有的喜讯 Best news ever!
-这地产值钱了 -值钱了 - This property has value. - It has value.
-就是说我们可以卖了 -终于能卖了 - That means we can sell it! - We can finally sell it!
等等 等一下 Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
把戴夫·马修斯的歌停下 Press "stop" on Dave Matthews.
你刚说什么 What did you just say?
我们能找公司把这所学校 We can start courting businesses to unload this school
当私营机构处理了 on the private sector.
「处理了」是什么意思 What do you mean "unload it"?
这可是一大块不动产 This is a huge chunk of real estate,
完全没有税收 which generates no tax revenue
还接受政府教育拨款 and takes money from the education budget.
那是因为这是社区大学 That's because it's a community college.
原谅我们反应慢 Well, excuse us for taking longer
才发现问题所在 to see that was the problem.
也许我们没你聪明 Maybe we're not as smart as you.
毕竟我们不过是耶鲁大学毕业的 I mean, we only went to Yale.
好吐槽 Oh, no, you didn't.
可不是 Yes, I did.
我们可以给TJ马克斯百货商店打电话了 Oh, hey, we should call T.J. Maxx right away.
伙计 我说了 这西服很像样 Dude, I told you. This jacket looks fine.
不 我是说谈卖学校的事 No, to talk about selling this place.
哦对 TJ马克斯 马绍尔[服装店] Oh, right. Yeah, T.J.Maxx, Marshalls.
本杰瑞[冰激凌品牌]怎么样 What about Ben & Jerry's?
里奇 你是我的朋友 Oh, Richie, you're my friend,
但这种东西你最要不得了 But that is the last thing you need.
严厉的爱 我懂 兄弟 Tough love received, bro.
我做到了 学校没有故事了 I did it. This school is story-free.
我们可以永远地满足下去了 We can be content now forever.
让我成为本年度压死的六人之一吧 Let me be one of the six this year.
克拉格 自动贩卖机不会 Craig--Craig, this vending machine is not gonna
翻倒砸扁你 tip over and crush you.
为什么 Why not? Why?
因为我们在拯救学校时把它修好了 Because we fixed it when we saved Greendale.
我们拯救了格林德尔 We saved Greendale.
他们却要把学校卖掉 And now they're gonna sell it.
如果我走过去 If I come over there,
会发出两个声音 there are gonna be two sounds:
我揍你两拳的声音 Me hitting you twice.
格林德尔的学子们 你们好 Hello, Greendale, as you know,
我们的学校即将被一所三明治大学取代 our school will soon be replaced by a sandwich university.
然而 每个结束都意味着新的开始 However, every ending is also a beginning.
赛百味
赛百味图书馆
的确 现在一切看起来很糟 Sure, things may look bad now.
我们中的一些人不知道该去哪 做什么 Some of us may have no idea where we're going or what to do.
但是 But...
赛百味 品尝新鲜
好吧 我应该打草稿 Okay, okay, I should have written this out.
我以为我可以现场发挥 I thought I'd be able to come up with something on the fly.
进行到第二阶段 Moving on to phase two:
真正拯救格林德尔 The actual saving of Greendale.
-安妮 -我想到几个利用社交网络的点子 - Annie-- - I've generated a few ideas involving social media
-应该会起作用 -安妮 - that I think might do the trick. - Annie--
你想让我们发推「拯救格林德尔」 You want us to tweet "SaveGreendale"?
抱歉 安妮 I'm sorry, Annie.
我之所以有48个粉丝是因为我从不利用他们 The reason I have 48 followers is that I don't exploit them.
他们关注我是为了看真情实意的抱怨 They come to me for atheistic rants and photos
和我饭菜的照片 不是这坨废话 of my meals, not this obnoxiousness.
我们需要让大家知道格林德尔存在 We need to make people aware that Greendale exists
-并需要帮助 -为什么 - and needs help. - Why?
因为一旦互联网知道了什么 Because once the internet knows about something,
就会有所改变 it changes.
是啊 问问克里斯·布朗和天朝就知道了 Right. Just ask Chris Brown or China.
杰夫 你把安妮弄哭了 Jeff, you made Annie cry.
往好的方向想 Well, if it's any consolation,
这种事是最后一次发生了 this is the last time that will ever happen.
我知道怎么拯救格林德尔 I know how to save Greendale.
财宝 埋藏的财宝 Treasure. Buried treasure.
好吧 我崩溃了 Okay, I'm tapped.
我们都希望能出一份力 安妮 We all wish we could do something, Annie,
但我认为这是拯救格林德尔委员会的 but I think that concludes the last meeting
最后一次会议了 of the Save Greendale committee,
这个做到极致的委员会 the committee that did its darnedest.
等等 Wait.
我们真的不能阻止学校 Are we sure we can't stop the school
被卖给赛百味吗 from being sold to Subway?
恐怕是的 昌 I'm afraid so, Chang.
好吧 我就是想确认一下 Okay, I just wanted to make sure.
你们去死吧 Ha-ha, screw you guys.
我爱赛百味
到了该付账的时候啦 It's time to get paid.
*五美元* * $5 *
*五美元一英尺* * $5 footlong *
赛百味知名产品「五美元一英尺」三明治
*全部五美元* * Any, any, any, 5 *
*五美元一英尺* * $5 footlong *
*全部五美元* * Any, any, any, 5 *
昌不出意外地最后一次 Chang just unexpectedly betrayed the group
背叛了小组 for the last time.
格林德尔将成为 Greendale is going to make
一所出色的赛百味三明治大学 a great Subway sandwich university.
反正调查显示你们大部分毕业生 You know, research shows most of your graduates end up
都在餐厅打工 working for our restaurants anyway.
设计就是如此 我们为自己的学校骄傲 That's by design. We're very proud of our school.
为赛百味大学骄傲 校园是你的了 Proud of subway's school. This campus is yours now.
如果你需要炸掉 If you want to dynamite it,
只求你允许我们点燃导火索 all we ask is that you let us light the fuse.
是啊 我讨厌这里 Yeah, we hate this place.
你刚说过你为这里感到骄傲 You just said you were proud of it.
-为潜力骄傲 -爱它的潜力 - Oh, proud of its potential. - Love its potential.
这将是你的办公室 This will be your office.
为什么 Why?
我们稍后再来「入驻」 Okay, we'll check in on that later.
干什么呢 伙计们 What's the matter, guys?
格林德尔尸骨未寒 就迫不及待地 Can't wait until Greendale's corpse is cold
想放到你那六英寸的白大饼里了吗 before you put it on a 6-inch white bun?
姑娘 这么说可不厚道 Young lady, that's not fair.
bun也有屁股的意思
赛百味不管面包叫「大饼」 Subway doesn't call its bread "buns,"
再说我们不提供白面包 And we don't serve white.
我们提供意式 蜂蜜燕麦 混合麦面包 We serve Italian, honey oat, nine-grain wheat.
很好 感谢你把我的笑话补充完整 Great, thanks for making my joke accurate.
真好笑 Now it's hilarious.
放学了 孩子们 Classes are over, kids.
我们在帮院长打包 We're helping the dean pack.
格林德尔还有两个小时活头 This is still Greendale for two hours.
享受吧 Enjoy it.
等等 Wait.
你们不管面包叫大饼 You don't call your bread "Buns."
叫什么 What do you call them?
面包啊 Bread.
面包是食材 Well, bread is a substance.
你们用的一坨一坨的面包叫什么 What do you call the units of bread you use, "Breads"?
-你还好吗 -我就是希望我们能多待一会 - You okay? - I just wish we had more time.
我可以扭转乾坤 我发誓 I could turn things around. I swear.
看 我有这些标签器具 Look, I got one of these label things.
能制作特制标签 It makes custom labels.
这能帮助我变得有条理 This was gonna help me get organized.
坏院长
我们该从哪里开始 Where should we start?
我们要打包这些照片吗 Should we pack up these pictures?
不是我的 They're not really mine.
他们是格林德尔的历史 They're Greendale history.
这是我们1987年的人权游行 Here's our 1987 civil rights march.
结束种族隔离
就是从那时我们开了PS课程 This was when we started offering photoshop classes.
那个是罗素·博歇特 And that's Russell Borchert.
「博歇特 博歇特 最爱是电脑」 "Borchert, Borchert, loved computers"
没错 「胜过女人的美臀和乳房」 Yes, yes, "More than women's butts or hooters."
真「成熟」啊 两位 Very mature, you two.
那个传说是真的吗 Was there any truth to that legend?
传说格林德尔的某个电脑课教授 The legend that a Greendale computer professor
跟一台电脑嘿咻 made love to a computer
然后死于首个电脑病毒 and died of the first computer virus?
当然 真相是格林德尔是有一个电脑课教授 Sure. The truth is, Greendale had a computer professor.
另外他还是一位百万富豪和天才 By the way, he was a millionaire and a genius.
他跟一台电脑嘿咻 这就是他留下的遗产吗 He has sex with one computer, and that's his legacy?
我呕心沥血这么多年 后人又会如何纪念我 So after all my work, how will I be remembered?
四眼光头院长吗 The bald dean with glasses, I guess.
你有没有注意到这个相框里有一张铭牌 are you aware there's an engraved plate on this frame
上面刻着「真相就在此照片之后」 that says "The truth is behind this picture"?
我当然知道 阿布蒂 我又不是白痴 Of course I'm aware, Abed. I'm not an idiot.
等下 Whoa, wait.
这是字面上的意思吗 It meant literally?
这是什么 What is it?
我知道你在这里教授法律基础课 I understand you were teaching fundamentals of law here.
对 Yeah.
我想你也可以转变一下 Think you could make the transition
教授三明治法律课吧 to teaching Sandwich Law?
我确定这基本上是相同的 It's essentially the same, I'm sure,
只是更为集中一点 Just a bit more focused.
拿去 Here.
这是赛百味的黑卡 That's a Subway black card.
你可以凭此卡终生享有五美元一英尺的优惠 It entitles you to $5 footlongs for life.
终生哦 翁格先生 终生 For life, Mr. Winger, for life.
大家都有什么打算 So... what are you going to do?
我想我要转学到城市学院 I'm thinking I'm gonna transfer to City College,
但是我知道我以后会成为一个酒保 but I'm knowing I'm gonna be a bartender.
你呢 You?
赛百味给了我一份工作 Subway offered me a job.
不错嘛 Nice.
我很担心阿布蒂和安妮 I'm worried about Abed and Annie.
他们还没做好学校关门的准备 They're not ready for this to end.
是啊 他们是「三十岁才成年」的那一代人 Yeah, they're part of the adulthood-begins-at-30 generation.
其实我挺期待能有那么一点... I'm--I'm actually looking forward to a little bit of--
-理智 -对 理智 - Sanity? - Yes, sanity.
对啊 虽然结束了 但另一方面 Yeah, I mean, it's over, but on the other hand,
-终于结束了 -阿门 - it's over. - Amen.
现在一想这一切最初都源于你当年想... And to think this all started because you wanted to--
泡你 Nail you.
但我并不后悔 Yeah, I regret nothing.
不后悔 Don't.
经历了这么多风风雨雨 I mean, after everything that has happened here,
我们俩除了搞定了彼此 还有啥其他成就吗 what did either of us really get done aside from each other?
对啊 我们俩又能留下什么呢 Exactly, and what are either of us gonna be leaving with?
我得去把我的储物柜清理出来了 Um, I should go clean out my locker,
33岁的她如是说 She said at the age of 33.
咱们结婚吧 Let's get married.
-啥 -好吗 - What? - Yeah, right?
现在这是最重要的 不是吗 I mean, this is what matters, isn't it?
这是避免所有故事毫无意义的关键 This is what keeps this all from being pointless.
让我们做点凡夫俗子的事情吧 Let's do what people do.
我们一起住在一栋负担不起的房子里 Let's get a house we can't afford
养一只经常让咱俩跳脚的狗狗 and a dog that makes us angry.
然后将整个橱柜都塞满各种购物袋 And dedicate an entire cabinet to grocery bags
还发现我们有了一个钟爱的橄榄油品牌 and realize we have a favorite brand of olive oil?
对 嫁给我 Yes, marry me.
好啊 好的 Okay, yeah.
好吧 这种感觉很好 Yeah--uh, yeah, this feels right.
让我们离开这里 永不回头 Let's get out of here and never look back.
好 但首先 先把门锁上 Yeah, but first, let's lock these doors
拉上窗帘 and pull these shades.
咱俩还从没在这张新桌子上嘿咻过呢 We've never had sex on the new table.
好 成功上垒两次 Yes, two for two.
中等粗暴 快速节奏对吧 Medium roughness, high tempo?
我们就按八成的力度来吧 Let's make it a number eight.
埋藏的宝藏 Buried treasure!
锁上门 拉上百叶窗 Lock the doors. Close the blinds.
我们可以救格林德尔了 杰夫 We could save Greendale, Jeff.
校园里可能有宝藏 There may be treasure on campus.
隐秘的 埋藏的宝藏 Hidden, buried treasure.
宝藏 Treasure!
我们需要召集紧急会议 We need to call an emergency meeting
找个能确保避人耳目的安全地点 somewhere safe where no one can hear or see,
因为我们要保守这个秘密 Because we have to keep this a secret,
因为这是一个埋藏的... because it's a buried...
宝藏 Treasure!
埋藏的宝藏 Buried treasure!
有意思 Interesting.
紧急会议 Emergency meeting.
这就是我在格林德尔的结局 And that's how I ended up at Greendale.
多奇怪啊 学校就此关门大吉 Isn't it strange how it took this school shutting down
而你我却终于了解彼此 心意相通 for you and I to finally get to know each other?
你下一步什么打算 So what's up next for you?
不晓得 也许回林肯郡陪伴家人 Don't know, maybe go stay with family in Lincolnshire.
-林肯郡 -对 - Lincolnshire? - Yeah.
林肯郡哪里啊 Where in Lincolnshire?
就是个小镇 名叫斯肯索普 Just a little town called Scunthorpe.
斯肯索普 Scunthorpe?
我曾经就驻扎在斯肯索普 I was stationed around Scunthorpe.
-不是吧 -等下 - No. - Oh, wait, wait.
*越过伴我左右的酢浆草* * O'er the lady's smocks I tarry *
*穿过蜀葵花和峡谷* * Through the hollyhocks and glen *
*在斯肯索普尿个尿呀* * For a piss and a thrush in Scunthorpe *
*然后再开路去亨宁屯* * Then it's off to Henningpen *
我好喜欢的 I love that.
你究竟在哪里学到这首歌的 Oh, where in God's name did you learn that song?
掩污酒吧 Stainsbury pub.
我家人几乎就住在掩污酒吧 My family practically lived in stainsbury's.
我是在掩污酒吧破了处男之身 I lost my virginity at stainsbury's.
我妈妈是掩污酒吧之婊 My mother was a Stainsbury whore.
我的那位缺了一根大拇指 Mine was missing a thumb.
上帝啊 Oh, my God.
两个大拇指 她两个都有 Two thumbs, yeah, she got both. two thumbs.
也许你跟我姨妈睡过 I mean, you may have slept with my aunt,
鉴于此情此景 干杯 but given the circumstances, cheers.
-干杯 -好 - Cheers, yeah. - Yeah.
那么你准备回家住 Mm, so you're gonna stay with your family
直到找到自己的出路是吗 till you get your bearings?
我有个表哥 克莱夫 他那里有间空房 I've got a cousin, Clive, who's got a spare room.
你跟他肯定特别合得来 说实话 You and he would really get along, actually.
-真的吗 -对 - Really? - Yeah.