乔姆斯基 出来 Chomsky, come here.
出来 乔姆斯基 Come here, Chomsky.
阿布蒂 太对不起了 Abed, I'm really sorry.
我告诉你了 猫都不喜欢我 I told you cats don't like me.
它们视我为竞争者 They consider me a competitor because of
因为我骨子里的鬼祟与矛盾 my natural stealth and ambivalence.
她是又抽嗨了忘了自己没戴隐形眼镜吗 Oh, did she get high again and forget she doesn't wear contacts?
布雷塔希望在携猫搬进我们公寓之前 Before Britta moved her cats into our apartment,
先在中立地点介绍我们互相认识一下 she wanted to introduce them to us on neutral ground.
其中一只猫挠了阿布蒂 躲沙发下面去了 One of them scratched Abed and ran under the couch.
我来 猫咪可喜欢我了 Oh, I'll get it. Cats love me.
什么 真的吗 What? Are you sure?
亲爱的 Hello there.
-她...是男孩还是女孩 -男孩 - Well, she is. Is it a he or a she? - He.
他的牙切切实实咬进我肉里了 Well, he's really got his teeth in my flesh right now.
好的 啃到骨头了 Okay, he's touching bone.
我等他自己结束吧 I'm just waiting for him to finish up.
反正现在我也无能为力 Not a lot I can do at this point.
这真是大错特错 This was a pretty big mistake.
好了 啃完了 Okay. This is done.
明天见 See you tomorrow.
此事真是让我万分尴尬 I'm pretty embarrassed about this.
乔姆斯基 Chomsky.
我不知道布雷塔要搬去安妮和阿布蒂家啊 I didn't know Britta was moving in with Annie and Abed.
-这... -需要解释 - That's-. - Expository?
好的 布雷塔最近生活拮据 Yeah, Britta's fallen on hard times and
我们公寓是市里最便宜的地儿 our apartment is the cheapest game in town.
阿布蒂 你这么说让我有点尴尬 Abed, it's a little embarrassing when you put it that way.
布雷塔是有超能力的天才富豪 Britta's a rich genius with super powers
她将下榻我们家沙发 无需任何理由 and she's gonna live on our sofa for no reason.
不要啊 Oh, no.
有恐龙 我的报税文件 Dinosaurs. My tax documents.
美洲原住民的真实揭秘 Facts about Native Americans.
开玩笑的 Just kidding.
猜猜我在本地制造商那里 Guess what I just purchased for the school
为本校采购了什么 from a local manufacturer,
格林德尔首台虚拟实境操作系统 Greendale's first virtual reality operating system.
格林德尔需要虚拟实境系统吗 Did Greendale need a virtual reality system?
想得要死[头上开洞] Like a hole in the head.
这句话的意思是「完全不需要」 A hole in the head is something that you don't need.
说这话的人脑洞真大哼 She said through a huge hole in her head.
虚拟实境不是90年代就过时了吗 Didn't VR go out in the 90s?
我最后看到是有人用它玩「蜂巢内战」 The last people I saw using it were in the Honeycomb Hideout.
人会嘲笑自己不懂的事 We mock what we don't understand.
-人也会嘲笑蠢事 -杰夫瑞 - We also mock what's silly. - Jeffrey.
阿布蒂 比起人类 你更像机器一点 Abed, you're more machine than man.
午饭后你愿不愿意来帮我安装一下设备 You wanna give me a hand setting up the equipment after lunch?
今天我们要帮布雷塔搬到我们家来 We're all going to help Britta move into our place today.
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey?
布雷塔 有事去不了 乐意之极 Britta, something's come up. I'd love to.
行吧 至少你没有搬出你的老借口 Oh, yeah, yeah, at least you don't have to bust out your usual excuse.
你无法确定我不是老兵 You don't know for sure that I'm not a veteran,
也没人敢说今天不是老兵日 and nobody can say for sure that today isn't Veteran's Day.
你好 我被猫咬了 Hi. I got bit by a cat.
昌 我们知道 Chang, we know.
你们在医务室干嘛 为什么有这么多书 Why are you guys and all these books in the nurse's office?
翻 译 爵士年代蓬蓬裙 白月
翻 译 天青月白 笨笨Benny
翻 译 别扭大柴
时 间 轴 Spohy
后 期 鱼骨头
校 对/总 监 King of 坑King·夕橙
废柴联盟 第六季 第二集
最新最快中文字幕下载 www.zimuzu.tv 新浪微博@ZiMuZu
院长 你是从哪买的这个 Dean, where did you get this,
花了学校多少钱 and for how much of the school's money?
放松 我的账房小姐 Relax, my little bean countess.
这事儿您就别操心了 Don't worry about it.
你雇我就是用来操心这种事的 You pay me to worry about that.
我花了多少钱雇你来的 Oh, and how much do I pay you?
-是你操心的事 这仅需五千块 -什么 - That's you. It was only $5000. - What?
弗兰 给我插上 Frankie, jack me up.
我想看看这个公司的网站 I would like to see this company's website.
能用下你电脑吗 Can I use your computer?
当然 Sure.
祝你在石器时代用的开心 Have fun in the Stone Age
而我要踏入 第三院长维 while I step into the third dean-mension.
宽度多少 Width?
读说明书 仿真人 Read the instructions, analog man.
当进入虚拟实境时 When entering virtual reality,
你应该通过查看自己的双手 you should calibrate the system by looking at your own hands,
并反转双手 查看手背来校正系统 then turning them over and looking at the backs of them
同时你会有种奇妙的感觉 with a sense of wonder.
收到 Roger that.
进入「好真实6500」 To the Virtue Good 6500.
开始校正 Initiate calibration.
不可思议啊 It's incredible.
四周都能看到 I can see all around.
我要到近处好好瞅瞅这些建筑 I gotta take a closer look at these structures, they're!
我走了 I'm walking!
我走了 I am walking.
天啊 My God.
太平洋时区 山地时区 中部时区 东部时区
我知道这是什么 I know what this is.
太平洋时区
我设置了时区 I set the time zone.
我手机都可以自动设置 And my phone does that automatically.
我要试试能不能把字体变大 I'm gonna see if I can make the font bigger.
字体大了 The font is larger.
耶稣已泣 因为再无世界可征服 And Jesus wept, for there were no more worlds to conquer.
还要再谢谢你们 太感谢了 Thank you, guys, again, so much.
我知道已经欠你们钱了 I know that I already owe you you money but
但我想告诉你们 我又找了份酒保工作 I want you to know that I got a new bartending job
时薪更多 还有免费的烤玉米粒 with better hours and free corn nuts
我感觉其转售价值好歹聊胜于无 which I feel like have a small but significant resale value.
我觉得大家都在讨论 I feel like everybody's talking about
我给薇琪新剪的发型 所以... that haircut I gave Vicki, so-.
布雷塔 Oh, Britta.
-我能不能... -没事的 - Can I - It's okay.
我也要抱吗 好吧 Do I do this too? Okay.
大家都会好起来的 This is going to be good for all of us, right?
就像是一个全新的开始 It's like a fresh start.
你们买了个新沙发吗 Oh, did you guys get a new couch?
我们为你买的 We got it for you.
是张沙发床 It has a pull-out.
爱死你们了 You guys.
我本来想买张壁床方便恶作剧 I wanted a Murphy bed for shenanigans
但这样恶作剧的成本太高了 but the cost to shenanigan ratio was too high.
你们怎么买得起这个 How did you guys afford this?
别担心 Don't worry.
我们淘到了便宜货 We got a good deal.
待取 派利 为什么上面有我的名字 For pick up, Perry. Why's my name on here?
因为这是我们给你买的 Because we got it for you.
我们也这么告诉了售货员 And we told the sales guy that.
所以...他把朋友的名字写在送货单上 So. So he put your friend's name on the delivery slip?
挺奇怪的 对吧 That seems weird, right?
新室友的电影之夜 Roommate movie night!
新室友的电影之夜 耶 Roommate movie night, yay!
葡萄牙版「小魔怪」 Portuguese Gremlins.
1984年美国喜剧电影
葡萄牙版「小魔怪」 嗷呜 Portuguese Gremlins, ooh.
本片算是葡萄牙对小魔怪提出的 It's Portugal's answer to Gremlins if Gremlins' question was
「你们怎么能一分钱都不花地剽窃我们 how can you totally rip us off without spending any money
没准还连看两遍电影」这一问题的回答 and having watched us maybe twice?
葡萄牙小魔怪是这样嚎的 对吗 That's what the Portuguese Gremlins say, right?
很贴近了 It's close enough.
我成功了 I did it.
现在是2点39分 It's 2: 39.
这是你开始设置时间的时间 That was the time when you started setting the time.
现在都过了20分钟了 It's 20 minutes later now.
这种力量 The power.
这种技术 The facility.
耶稣已... Jesus wept.
别再说「耶稣已泣」了 Stop saying Jesus wept.
院长 你可能想试试这个有趣的功能 Dean, here's something fun you might want to try.
看看你能不能找到这个系统的序列号 Let's see if we can find the serial number to this system.
退换条款 如需退换好真实6500虚拟实境系统 需确认系统独一无二的序列号
听着挺有趣的 Oh, that could be fun.
先找到「设置」 So go to Settings.
「设置」是在火山那儿还是鞋匠的工作室 Is settings the volcano or the cobbler's workshop?
那是个寺院 It's a monastery.
我感觉到了力量 I feel the power.
欢迎进入「设置」 Welcome to Settings.
陛下 文件都在这儿了 Your Majesty, the filing tabs.
你要找的是写着购物信息的那个 You're looking for one called purchase info.
现实生活中这些柜子永远不可能这么好爬 These cabinets would never be this easy to climb in real life.
这才是电脑滚动条的未来 This is the future of scrolling.
我的世界从此广阔无边 My world is officially boundless.
我找到了 I'm here.
那抽屉里应该有个叫「序列号」的文档 Inside that drawer should be a file called serial number.
拿到了 I've got it!
好的 All right.
现在你只需要将它打印出来就好 Now you just have to print that file out.
你可以把它拖到与设备相连的附属城堡里 You can do that by dragging it to the accessories
然后把文件种在打印装置里 and peripherals castle, and planting it in the printer driver.
什么这么好笑 What's so funny?
虽然这一切挺很可笑的 I mean, besides everything?
我没有任何退还这套系统的打算 I have no intention of returning this system.
恰恰相反 我要留下它 On the contrary, I intend to keep it.
天啊 Dear God.
删除 Delete!
一份文件已选中 One file selected.
等等 Hold on.
-文件已排序 -啥呀 搞啥啊 - File sorted. - What? Oh come on.
快过来 小家伙 Come here you little.
文件已删除 File deleted.
耶稣已泣 Jesus wept!
他删掉了序列号 杰夫 帮帮我 He deleted the serial number, Jeff, help me out here.
就我那么点工资我才不干 I don't get paid enough for this.
你觉得如果我被迫从预算里抠出五千块来 How much do you think you're going to get paid
你的工资还能剩多少 if I have to find five grand in the budget?
你不是新安妮 You're not the new Annie.
你是新阿布蒂 You're the new Abed.
不懂你什么意思 I don't know what that means yet.
所以这个版本里小魔怪是好人吗 So are the gremlins supposed to be the good guys in this version?
蓝色的是好的 绿的可坏了 The blue ones are. The green ones are bad
红色的差不多自管自的 and the red ones are kind of like isolationists.
这是对二战的影射 It's a metaphor for World War II.
蓝: 同盟国 绿: 轴心国 红: 亚洲战场
我去去就回 有东西忘在车里了 Alma, I will be right back, I left something in my car.
你好 我最近在您这儿买了张沙发 Hi, yes, I picked up a sofa from your store, recently.
我姓派利 The last name is Perry.
什么 What?
你是力气大还是生气了 Are you strong or angry?
我父母买的 My parents?
沙发竟然是我父母买的 My parents bought that couch?
给我解释清楚 Explain yourselves!
我们...好吧 Well, are we, okay.
他们算是通过脸书联系上我们的 They kind of reached out to us on Facebook.
什么 你知道我不理他们的 What? You know I don't talk to them.
是啊 所以他们才联系我们 Well, yeah. That's why they talk to us.
他们知道你不会让他们帮你 They knew you wouldn't let them help you, at least not directly.
天啊 天啊 Oh my God. Oh my God.
你需要我们帮助 我们则需要他们帮助 You needed our help, but we needed their help to help you.
这也是为什么你的房租那么便宜 That's why we were able to get you such a good deal on the rent.
他们还补贴我的房租 They're supplementing my rent too?
你说得好像他们跟洪水猛兽似的 You make them sound like monsters,
但事实上他们人很好 but they're actually really nice.
-就是很好嘛 -我父母差劲得要死 - Well, they are! - My parents are horrible people.
-你也太小题大做了吧 -没错 - You're being dramatic. - Oh yeah.
人们会这么说 当他们要取走你的灵魂 That's what people say when they take your soul,
他们把它从你胸口拽出来 and they rip it out of your chest
然后糊在你的脸上 and then shove it in your mouth.
我被猫咬了 I got bit by a cat.
我要创造更多的世界 I will create more worlds.
然后世界里还会有新的世界 And those worlds will have worlds.
就是文件夹而已 别嚎什么世界了好吗 They're file folders, stop calling them worlds.
我找到一个地址 I found an address.
埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克 好真实科技创始人 Elroy Ptasnik, founder of Virtu Good Technologies.
好的 我去看看能不能把学校的钱拿回来 All right. I'll go see if I can get the school's money back.
你确保白人墨菲斯在矩阵里面呆着 You keep White Morpheus inside the matrix.
杰夫 Jeff.
布雷塔 你看上去心烦意乱的 Britta. You look distraught.
给你十秒来告诉我这跟你那些白痴政治无关 You have ten seconds to tell me it's not about stupid politics.
我刚刚发现安妮和阿布蒂 I just found out that Annie and Abed
背着我跟我父母联系 have been cheating on me with my parents.
他们一直在暗中替我还债 给我买东西 They've been sabotaging my life from the shadows
以此破坏我的人生 by paying off my debts and buying me things.
-谢天谢地 -你怎么这样 还谢天谢地 - Thank God. - What are you? Thank God?
现在终于不需要伪装了 The charade can finally end.
现在你知道所有你自以为欠我们的钱 Now you know everything you thought you owed us,
其实都是黛比和乔治的 you can actually just owe to Deb and George.
黛比和乔治 Deb and George?
你也认识我父母 从什么时候开始的 You know my parents too? Since when?
我不知道 从你欠下好几千块之后 I don't know, since thousands of dollars ago?
我不擅长记日子 I'm bad with dates.
我记得当年的新年眼镜中间还是两个零呢 I remember the New Year's glasses having zeros for eyes.
「当老牛碰上嫩草」是哪一年上映的来着 And when did Stella get her groove back?
你们这些年来一直都在骗我 You've all been lying to me for years.
你们到底算哪门子的朋友啊 What kind of friends are you?
穷友呗 我们是穷人朋友 Poor. We're poor friends.
而你却跟我们要钱 只因自己太骄傲 And you mooch off us because you're too proud
不屑于动用你家的财政支持 to use your own support system.
你又是算哪门子的朋友 What kind of friend are you?
而且在见了他们之后 And having met them,
实在是不能理解你到底在反抗什么 what were you rebelling against?
是反抗他们的慷慨大方 Was it generosity,
有趣的游戏之夜 whimsical game nights,
还是美味的龙虾培根土豆泥 or delicious lobster bacon mashed potatoes?
你还吃过土豆泥了 You ate the potatoes?
你不是不吃碳水化合物吗 You, you don't even eat carbs.
我吃的是爱 布雷塔 I eat love, Britta.
火热美味的爱 你曾经不屑一顾的爱 Hot, delicious love that you were willing to wipe your ass with.
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
我已经没有朋友了 I have no friends.
我们能不能别这么小题大做 Can we not be so dramatic about this?
这个世界上有真正严重问题的大有人在好吗 There are people in this world with serious problems.
昌 去找护士啦 Chang, go see the nurse!
我正在找啊 I'm trying.
好真实 不是好 而是好真实
-找谁 -埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克 - Yeah? - Elroy Ptasnik?
-你是谁 -看来是了 - Who's asking? - Well, that's always a yes.
如果名字不对 没人会回应你是谁 Nobody ever says, who's asking, to the wrong name.
他们只会说 我不叫这个名 They just say, that's not my name.
我的手机有来电时 我会说你好 When my phone rings and I say hello,
对方问 巴勃罗在吗 and they say, is Pablo there?
我不会说你是谁 我会说打错了 I don't say, who's asking, I say, wrong number.
你真是个聪明的小伙子 You're a clever young man.
-我40了 -进来吧 - I'm 40. - Come in.
什么事 So?
你把「好真实6500」卖给了 You sold a Virtu Good 6500
格林德尔社区大学的克拉格·派尔顿 to Craig Pelton at Greendale Community College,
我们现在想退货 and we need to return it.
我需要产品的序列号 I'll need the serial number.
他把序列号删了因为他太爱这个系统了 He deleted the serial number because he loves the system.
那么问题是什么 So what's the problem?
问题是里面如果要复制一份文件 The problem is in order to copy a file,
还得朝它扔个火球 you have to throw a fireball at it,
等它燃起火焰 then absorb the fire,
然后把着火的文件摁进一个水晶湖里 then drop the flaming file into a crystal lake,
再把两份文件拎出来 扔到山的另一边 then take out both copies and throw them into the side of a mountain.
世界里面还有世界 Worlds within worlds.
那没有任何的意义 That doesn't mean anything.
我用手指摁住手机就能复制文件了 I can copy a file by holding my finger down on a phone.
这事儿猴子也能干 Well, so can a monkey.
你刚刚描述的是给动物使用的系统 Now, you're describing a system for animals.
陆生懒虫被自己肥大的双脚所限制 Terrestrial slobs bound to the earth by their meaty feet.
-我是为神设计的这个系统 -拜托 - I designed a system for Gods. - Oh, come on.
你知道自己造了什么孽 You know what you've done.
你也清楚虚拟实境系统有多逊 You know how lame virtual reality is.
你知道它给90年代中期电影艺术带来的破坏 You know the damage it caused mid-90s cinema.
迈克尔·道格拉斯走路像脑残 I mean, Michael Douglas walking around like a jackass,
还用魔法手套移动文件 moving files with a magic glove?
「天才除草人」 你看过这部电影吧 Lawnmower Man? Did you see Lawnmower Man?
我必须看过「天才除草人」啊 You bet your sweet ass I saw Lawnmower Man.
我是电影顾问 I consulted on it.
我还带着布里吉特·尼尔森去的首映 Took Brigitte Nielsen to the premiere.
我们是在世界里建造新的世界 We were building worlds within worlds.
而你现在却住在停车场的野营车里 And now you're living in homes within campers within parking lots,
还用着iPad设计 and using an iPad to clearly design
山寨版的「愤怒的小鸟」 what looks like a ripoff of Angry Birds.
滚出去 Get out.
滚出我的房车 Get out of my Winnebago!
你没有权利这么声色俱厉地说话 You're not allowed to say that like it's a punishment.
我知道生活在谎言中是何感觉 埃尔罗伊 I know what it's like to lie for a living, Elroy!
你也知道 只有停止撒谎才会感觉好受些 And you should know, it feels better to stop.
还有我的脚一点儿都不肥 And my feet aren't meaty!
-布雷塔 亲爱的 -稀客啊 - Britta, honey. - An unexpected treat.
这张支票是用来还你们未经我同意 This is a check for all the dirty money
控制和监视我所花的全部脏钱 you have used to control and monitor me without my consent.
我们是不会去兑现的 But we're not gonna cash this.
确实不能 兑现日是一年之后 Well you can't. I postdated it a year.
在这一年里 我会找到新工作 新朋友 And in that year, I'm gonna get a new job, new friends,
住在新的城市 你和你们的那些间谍 in a new city where you and your spies
永远都不会再找到我 can never find me.
求你啦 别这么做 Oh, please. Don't do this.
不然你们让我怎么办 What choice do you leave me?
谁会对自己女儿犯下如此不诚实的行径 Who acts this dishonestly towards their own daughter?
那你让我们怎么办嘛 What choice do you leave us?
每次我们一靠近你 你就逃走 I mean, every time we get too close, you run off.
我们刚给你纽约的公寓寄一张生日贺卡 We sent you a birthday card to your apartment in New York,
下一周你就在圣何塞的果汁店放了把火 and then next week you're setting fire to a Jamba Juice in San Jose.
这事儿你们还准备纠结多久 How long is that gonna stick with me?
直到纵火是合法的 你父亲想说的是 Until arson is legal, sweetie, but your father's point is,
我们找到了你可以忍受的最亲近的相处模式 we've arrived at the closest relationship you can tolerate.
我们花了好久的时间才学会了 We've learned, after a decade,
如何远远的爱护 欣赏和资助你 how to love and admire and finance you from afar,
通过你的朋友 社交媒体 through your friends, and the social media.
「提惹」和点赞 The Tinder and the like.
老爸 那叫「汤不热」 It's called Tumblr, dad.
不 我说的是「提惹」 一个约炮App No, I mean Tinder. It's a matchmaking App,
顺便说一下 如果你有「提惹」 and by the way, if you were on Tinder,
你妈妈和我都认为你一定是最漂亮的 Your mom and I think you'd be the prettiest.
当然了 男孩们肯定都唰唰地往右划 Absolutely, the boys would be swiping right.
Tinder中的操作手势 如果喜欢某人的照片就往右划
-女孩也行 你开心就好 -对 - Or girls! Whatever makes you happy. - Yes!
-没错 -你俩这是怎么了 - Totally. - What has happened to you two?
那对食古不化的老年人去哪儿了 Who are these doddering open-minded geezers?
当初不让我在万圣节上 Where are the people who wouldn't let me
打扮成王子的那俩人去哪儿了 dress up like Prince for Halloween?
告诉我猫跑了是因为我试图饮酒 Or told me that the cat ran away because I tried alcohol?
还有在我十11岁的时候给我做药检 Or had me drug tested when I was 11
就因为别人说我笑得太疯狂 because they said I was laughing too much?
对这些事情我们深感抱歉 We are definitely sorry about all of that stuff.
坦白说 这些事我们其实根本不记得了 Quite frankly, we don't remember that stuff.
这倒是真的 Oh, it's true.
-伍德斯托克音乐节 -天啊 - Woodstock, oh! - Oh, my God.
我还记得伍德斯托克音乐节 I remember Woodstock!
伍德斯托克真的很精彩 Woodstock was amazing but--
但布雷塔 你要知道 but you have to realize, Britta,
当年我们还是差劲家长时 你的伍德斯托克 that your Woodstock, which was us being bad parents,
就只有你懂而已 that has more to do with you.
所以你才会记得 对不对 So that's what you remember, see?
他们在哪 Where are they?
-你说什么 -给我出来 - I'm sorry. - Get out here!
布雷塔 听我解释 Britta, let me explain.
我们很担心你 所以就过来看看 We were worried about you, so we just came over.
你们自己互相解释去吧 You can explain to each other in hell.
朋友才不会去看彼此的父母 Friends don't visit each other's parents.
衷心祝你们生活精彩美满 I hope you have a wonderful life.
乔治 乔治 George, George, yes.
布雷塔 最起码拿点钱修修你的车吧 Britta, at least take some money and fix your car!
要不打个车吧 Or at least get a cab,
不然可以用App找陌生人开车来接你 or there are apps we can call where strangers pick you up.
我不需要你们的帮忙 I don't want your help.
别把我当小孩了 Stop infantilizing me!
停车 停 Hey, stop. Stop!
给我下去 Get out of here.
小绿车 不错哇 Green Machine, nice.
格雷格 拿着钱 Here, Greg, here, take some cash.
我勒个去 Holy crap!
她是不是有病啊 What's her problem?
她还在成长 She's growing up.
我的天啊 Oh my God.
我把波浪符放在N上了 I put a tilde on this N!
我无所不能 I can do anything.
有进展吗 Any luck?
我要回家了 Ugh, I'm going home.
提醒一下 他之前开玩笑说想要个尿壶 Oh, and to warn you, he joked about wanting a pee jar earlier
后来发现这不仅仅是个玩笑了 and it's gradually becoming less of a joke.
院长 Hey, Dean.
我要过去把你从那里拽出来 I'm coming over and I'm pulling you out of there.
-我咬你哦 -那我就揍扁你 - I'll bite you. - I'll beat you up.
我喜欢 不过我会炒了你 I'll like it and then I'll fire you
然后爷还是会再回来的 and then I'll get right back in it.
那我还是会揍扁你 I'll still get to beat you up.
且慢 Hold it. Hold it.
谁啊 我听到了一个男中音 Who is that? I recognize that baritone voice and
还有嘀嗒糖混着一丝瑙加海德革的味道 the scent of Tic Tacs with a tinge of Naugahyde.
是埃尔罗伊·珀塔斯奈克 It's Elroy Patashnik.
缔造者 The architect.
我来告诉你一些对这套系统相当重要的事 Listen, I've come to tell you something very important about this system.
-它很烂 -啥 - It's lame. - What?
我浪费了你的时间 还有... I wasted your time with it and
美国历史上重要的十年 10 crucial years of America's time.
我会把你的退款交给这位威廉姆斯先生 I'm giving Mr. Williams your refund.
我不想退款 I don't want a refund.
我想要一直生活在这里 I wanna stay in here forever
你休想阻止我 and you can't stop me.
去死 Die.
他在里面多久了 How long has he been in there?
四个小时 Four hours.
我还以为有好几周了呢 Oh, I was thinking weeks.
这家伙管理你们学校 This guy runs your school?
用一句我在90年代说的话 To use a phrase I coined in the 90s,
加我一个 I'm going in.
那是你创造的吗 You coined that?
是啊 整装待发 Oh yeah, lock and load.
那也是我说的 That's mine too.
好吧 All right.
我醒了 I'm awake.
天啊 Oh my God!
对不起对不起 真对不起 I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry.
你在我的车里做什么 What are you doing in my car?
我没地方去了 I didn't have anywhere else to go.
除了我的车以外没地方可去了吗 No where else but my car?
这个世界很大的你不知道吗 Do you know how big the planet is?
你究竟怎么了 布雷塔 What is going on, Britta?
我的朋友都觉得我父母是好人 My friends, they all think my parents are adorable,
因为我讨厌他们 我反而成了坏人 and they think that I'm the bad guy for hating them,
但我恨是有理由的 因为他们实在太逊了 but I have a right to hate them, cuz I had to be there when they sucked.
这样啊 吉米·法隆综合征 我明白 Yeah. Jimmy Fallon syndrome. I get it.
著名脱口秀主持
我对我爸妈也是 I had that with my parents, too.
-是吗 -是的 - You did? - Yeah.
知道吗 我们不得不学会的一大不公 You know, one of the most unfair lessons we're forced to learn
就是我们的父母也不过是凡夫俗子 is that our parents are human beings.
我们总把他们想成是神或是魔鬼 We wanna think of them as Gods or demons,
然后我们就成了英雄 because then that would make us heroes.
可是得了吧 But give me a break.
我们都逊爆了 We all suck.
我能帮你什么 布雷塔 What can I do to help you tonight, Brita?
我杯架里面有多少硬币 How many quarters were in this cup holder?
原来多少现在还是多少 The same amount.
哦耶 Oh, yeah.
已校准 欢迎 Calibrated. Welcome.
不 走开 No, go away!
选择 增高 Preferences grow.
增高 缩小 巨人模式 扫雷舰
不 不 不 No, no, no.
放开我 Let go of me.
你真的想拥有神的力量吗 Do you really want the power of a God?
是的 除此之外别无他想 Yes, more than anything.
我要不要定点外卖 很多外卖店要关门了 Should I order dinner, cuz a lot of good delivery places are closing?
我了解你的感受 I know how you feel.
现实愈残酷 我们就越想逃避 The sadder reality, the less real we want it.
我只想成为一个好院长 I just wanna be a good dean.
我可以赠你一件器具帮你完成心愿 I can give you a device that will accomplish that.
此物可助你操纵世界 You can use this to manipulate worlds.
只要动动手腕 Flick of a wrist.
天啊 太神奇了 My God, it's incredible!
动手 Now!
怎么了 不 What's happening. No!
我要回去 I wanna go back in.
让我回去 I want to be back in there.
我要回去 I want to be-.
这里 这里 Here. Here.
你的力量在这里 Here's your power.
很好 现在你可以操纵世界了 Yeah. Now, manipulate worlds.
对 Yeah.
一小时后他就会恢复了 He'll be back to his old self in an hour.
太好了 恢复以后你有办法对付吗 Great, do you have a way to fix that?
硬盘侠和好搭档
不过说真的 谢谢 Seriously, though, thank you.
布雷塔 我们好担心你 Brita, we were so worried.
人家孩子的小绿车呢 What happened to the kids Green Machine?
什么 我不知道 我扔了 What? I, I don't know. I ditched it.
扔哪儿了 多久前扔的 Where and how long ago?
好吧 这个不重要了 Okay, assume that's not what's important here.
-布雷塔 我们...-没事了 爸爸 - Brita, we-. - It's okay, Dad.
我有话想说 I have something that I wanna say.
我17岁那年离家出走 希望长大成人 I ran away from home at 17 to become an adult,
可也许我的一部分也永远留在了17岁 but maybe all that did was leave a part of me stuck at 17,
让我每次与真相直面的时候都掉头逃离 the part that tends to run away when I am confronted with the truth.
-真相并不坏 布雷塔 -妈 闭嘴 - The truth is good, Brita. - Mom, shut up!
弗兰让我明白了一件重要的事 Frankie taught me something important.
我们是否成熟 It doesn't matter how mature we are
是否愤世嫉俗都不重要 or what resentments we carry.
最重要的是 我们都会死 All that matters is that we're all going to die.
你们家真漂亮 You have a lovely home.
-谢谢 -所以我家女儿回心转意了 - Thank you. - So, we're really getting our daughter back?
是啊 不过那也不是什么大事 Yeah, but it's not gonna be that big of a deal.
你们错过了那些美好岁月 I mean, you guys missed the good years.
现在只能喝喝酒 买买装饰 Now, it's just gonna be margaritas, Pottery Barn,
对抗家族的肥胖遗传 fighting our family's tendency toward obesity
直到被世人遗忘 as we slide into oblivion.
先是你们 然后很快就会轮到我 First you guys, and then me quickly thereafter.
为此我先干一杯吧 Well, I'll drink to that.
阿布蒂 Oh, Abed.
本杰明 Benjamin.
我被猫咬了 黛比 I got bit by a cat, Deb.
不 No!
我去拿点抗生素 I'll get the antibiotics.
谢谢你能退款 埃尔罗伊 Thank you for the refund, Elroy.
不 是我谢谢你 No, thank you
让我最后一次品尝到自己的心血 for one last taste of what it was like when my work was valuable.
你的工作还是有意义的 Oh, it's still valuable.
这是五百块 Here, $500
谢谢你让我尝到强大的滋味 for the taste I got of being powerful.
院长 我们学校付不起五百块了 Dean, the school can't afford 500-.
等等嘛 Wait for it.
我不知道下半生该怎么办了 I have no idea what to do with the rest of my life now.
我们的课程多着呢 We offer a wide variety of classes.
朋友 这就是格林德尔的力量 And that, my friend, is the Greendale effect.
我被永远地困在这儿了 是吧 I'll never get out of here, will I?
反正我是没见过有人能离开 I haven't met many that do.
手拉手 走啊走 Let's walk arm in arm.
有时候改变让人焕然一新 There are times when change needs to be different,
有时候 改变其实并无改变 then there's changes that are more the same.
但相同的改变并不会 But the same changes don't tend to be different
与之前的改变有所不同 than the changes that came before.
如果你改变了所有不同的一切 If you change everything that's different,
也许会发现 一切也并没有改变 sometimes you find out everything's still the same.
对于我来说 As for me, I'm just changing
我正在改变一切 everything that's different.
改变 Change.
马特洛·埃斯特拉达国际影业
联袂制作 葡萄牙创意影业
前情
什么东西
一份重担
小魔怪
这种小魔怪会成群出没
这些话你得记好了...
高温会让它们变邪恶
盐会让它们大量繁殖
汤妖精
它们会被爱所吸引
但讨厌圣诞节
怪物
圣水会让它们变得友善
但彩虹...
会使它们变得比之前更邪恶
小魔怪
这些小魔怪有弱点吗
只有一个
就是我
即将上映
你看懂了吗 Did you get any of that?