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联系人 弗兰·达特
弗兰 你醒着吗 Frankie, are you awake?
我睡了 但我一次只睡半边大脑 说吧 I'm in bed, but I only rest half my brain at a time. Go!
格林德尔危在旦夕 Greendale in jeopardy.
需要召开紧急会议 速来 没空解释 Need to call emergency meeting, asap, no time to explain.
30分钟内到校 I can be at the school in 30 minutes,
我告诉院长通知其他人 and I can have the dean notify the others.
你通知其他人不行吗 Could you notify the others?
你觉得院长搞不定吗 You don't think the Dean can handle it?
你觉得怎么好就怎么办吧 Do what you think is best.
安妮·爱迪生召开紧急会议 半小时内到校 Annie Edison requesting emergency meeting at school in 30.
格林德尔身陷险境 Greendale in trouble.
我马上通知大家 I'll notify the others.
你不想叫我可以帮你 I can do that if you like.
通知大家这点事我还是做得到的 我谢你啊 I think I can handle notifying others, thank you very much.
杰夫瑞·翁格
安妮 杰夫瑞 紧急会议 Annie, Jeffrey, emergency meeting
30分钟内到校 at the school in 30 minutes.
我早就知道了 I already know.
会议是我召开的 I'm the one calling the meeting.
啥事 哟 What up, yo?
那个号码是谁 Who is this other number?
这是群发短信 It's a group text.
我在给你和杰夫瑞发信息 I'm texting you and Jeffrey.
是我 It's me.
我是杰夫瑞 院长最佳好友 I am Jeffrey, best friend of dean.
好呀 杰夫瑞 Hi, Jeffrey.
院长 我手机里杰夫瑞不是那个号码 Dean, that number is not in my phone as Jeff's,
而且你那个号码 都不像美国号 and it doesn't even look like an American phone number.
天啊 Oh, my God.
我真是笨到家了 How stupid can I get?
你也没告诉我 你给安妮的是假号啊 You never told me you gave Annie a fake phone number.
是的院长 这是我的号 Yes Dean, this is me,
你最佳好友杰夫瑞 Jeffrey, you are best friend.
等等 我帮你打圆场 Hold on, I'll cover.
你说的对 我号码记错了呵呵 学校见 You're right, I had the wrong number, he he! see you at the school.
太对不起了 杰夫瑞 I am so sorry, Jeffrey.
希望没给你找麻烦 I hope I didn't get you in trouble.
别担心 院长 No worries, dean.
爱你哦 I love you.
发短信的时候 你总是甜蜜蜜 You're always so sweet, when we're texting,
一见真人就冷冰冰 but then in real life.
哥们 我都是爱的隐秘 Bro, I just secret that way with love.
你懂我风格的 You know, my style.
我们在短信中爱下去 让这一切永远保密 We keep loving in text, but then secret forever.
喵 Meow.
翻 译 爵士年代蓬蓬裙
翻 译 搜查一课·管理员·蝶野真菜
翻 译 松江组·Deep Town·橙酱
时 间 轴 姜姜
校 对/总 监 泪の蛋包饭·Deep Town·橙酱
后 期 无间双鱼·这根骨头才是压制
最新最快中文字幕下载 www.zimuzu.tv 新浪微博@ZiMuZu
废柴联盟 第六季 第三集
安妮 如果不是你要死了 我就杀了你 Annie, if you're not dying, I'm gonna murder you.
害我把晚霜都擦掉了 两百块一丢丢 I had to remove my night cream, it's $200 an ounce.
他喵的凌晨三点啊 埃迪生 It's 3am in the fricking morning Edison,
谁给你的权利把我们召唤到这儿的 what gives you the right to haul us in here.
昌 你是怎么知道这事儿的 Chang, how did you even find out about this?
我有权来这里 I have a right to be here.
你怎么这么清醒 Why are you awake?
对此我有个猜测 她是布雷塔的秘密双胞胎 I have a theory about this, Britta may be secretly twins.
不是 我在工作 No, I was working.
在酒吧吗 那你现在是不是喝高了 At the bar? Does that mean you're drunk?
喝高的人能做这个吗 Could a drunk person do this?
大家好 Hi, everybody.
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey.
好的 41分钟之前 Okay, 41 minutes ago,
我收到了在KZBC实习的朋友的电邮 I received this email from a friend that interns at KZBC.
那个电视台 The TV station?
不是 是四个毫无瓜葛随机排列的字母 No, the unrelated, totally random combination of those four letters.
喵 Meow.
主题 提醒 Subject heads up.
安妮 还在格林德尔上学吗 Annie, still going to Greendale?
有件事得跟你说 Thought you should know,
城市学院早七点要播一条你们学校的负面广告 City College is running a negative ad about your school at 7am.
听说挺劲爆的 Heard it's pretty bad.
我看看 Let me see that.
城市学院要播攻击性广告 City College is running an attack ad?
这是第一条 That's a first.
他们这是狗急跳墙了 They're getting desperate.
我们的在校生人数持续上涨 Our registration numbers are trending upward.
因为人越来越多 Because the population keeps growing,
却没人毕业 and no one here ever graduates.
事实上人数增长 Actually, our numbers are up
是因为弗兰把学校改进的好 because of improvements Frankie's made.
那些改进 Those improvements,
没有你的努力付出也不会实现 安妮 were only possible through your hard work, Annie.
你俩单开个会议室好不 Oh, get a boardroom.
有意思 Interesting.
你准备什么时候把事情真相告诉我们 When were you gonna hear the whole truth about this,
而不是你断章取义的部分 and not just the parts that suit you?
-什么 -另 真高兴布兰达好点了 - What? - PS I was glad to hear Brenda's doing better.
就因为城市学院害怕 Just because City College is scared,
不代表他们不危险 doesn't mean they're not dangerous.
有没有什么特别的事 他们真能抹黑我们的 Is there anything in particular they could smear us with?
没什么特别的事 Nothing in particular,
除了黑云压城城欲摧的成千上万件事 just overlapping clouds of many thousands and thousands of things.
别忘了还有布兰达那茬 Let's not forget the Brenda factor.
压根没有布兰达这茬 There isn't a Brenda factor.
他说她好点了 He says she's doing better.
什么好点儿了 Better than what?
她的甲状腺病情 Her thyroid condition!
你能不能抓重点 Can you focus?
布兰达能不能 Can Brenda?
现在看也许真是这样 Probably more so, now.
好了 我们得在播出前看到这广告 Okay, we need to see this ad before it airs.
我在尽力搞到视频 I'm working on getting us a copy.
我在城市学院认识一个AV部门的朋友 I have friends in the AV department at City College.
乌拉拉 Ooh la la.
AV兄弟情胜过你们矫情的党派主义 The brotherhood of AV exists beyond your petty factionalism.
我们只为唯一的女王 视频 We serve only video, the one true queen,
以及她忠实的配偶 音频服务 and her faithful consort, audio.
你能不能再宅一点 Oh, could you guys be bigger nerds?
不能 我们大多数人已经达到宅之极限了 No, most of us have achieved our maximum potential.
安妮说的对 我们这里确实有情况 Well, Annie's right. We do have a situation here,
那我们就把这里变成战情室 so we will make this our situation room.
没错 Yes.
我们需要白板 软木板 笔记本电脑 We need whiteboards, corkboards, laptops.
墙上一堆不同时间的钟 还有一部红电话 A bunch of clocks with different times on them, a red phone,
桌上一张大地图 上有纳粹小坦克 a big tabletop map with little Nazi tanks,
或者哥斯拉 and, or a Godzilla.
广告早上七点播出 The ad airs at 7am.
意味着我们还有4小时零13分钟 That means we have four hours and 13 minutes,
来想出办法应对明天他们的攻击 to figure out what they're throwing at us and how to respond.
知道吗 真不可思议 You know, it's the darndest thing,
我感觉布雷塔刚刚也拉到我裤子里了 I think Britta somehow crapped in my pants too.
最好还是回家吧 Uh-huh, better head home.
杰夫 战情室不是你说走就走的地方 Jeff, you can't just leave a situation room.
这之所以是战情室 是因为她这么叫的 It's only a situation room, because she called it that.
我还能宣布这里是 I mean I could declare it a.
饼干室 Cookie room!
可是没有饼干 There are no cookies.
这只有战情 There is a situation.
同志们 格林德尔的精神哪去了 You guys, where's the Greendale spirit!
我们的骄傲呢 Where's the pride?
我没事 I'm fine.
骄傲来了 Found it.
她光着屁股在校园里四处逛 She was wandering around campus, without pants.
这里是什么情况 What's going on in here?
战情室 Situation room.
什么战情 What's the situation?
布兰达甲状腺不好了 Brenda's got a bad thyroid.
很遗憾听到这个消息 I'm sorry to hear that.
裤子你留着吧 You can keep the pants.
我回去睡了 I'm going back to bed.
我跟他一起走 I'm going with him.
我去看着 I'm gonna watch.
拿到了 Got it.
下载中 Downloading it now.
你努力学习以获得学位 You work hard to earn your degree,
你的学校应该努力让这个学位变得有价值 and your school should work hard to make that degree valuable.
那为何格林德尔社区大学将学位颁发给狗 So, why is Greendale Community College giving degrees to dogs?
2001年 一只名为来福的斯塔福德犬 In 2001, a Staffordshire terrier mix named Ruffles
在格林德尔校园安营扎寨 took up residence on Greendale's campus.
2008年 来福已经获得了一个学士学位 By 2008, Ruffles had earned a Bachelor's Degree.
不是两年学位 而是四年学位 Not a two year degree, a four year degree.
28狗年学位
你会在哪里取得你的学位 Where will you get your degree?
如果答案是格林德尔 If the answer is Greendale,
准备好啃骨头吧[被操翻] prepare to get boned.
城市学院出资 许可证264392 Paid for by City College, license 264392.
我们有没有给狗学位 Did we give a degree to a dog?
天啊 天啊 Oh my God! Oh my God!
没事 没事的 Okay, it's okay, it's all right.
所以这就是格林德尔 不是城市学院 So, this is Greendale, not City College?
我去找条裤子 I'm gonna get more pants.
他们现在常常叫我来干活 They've been calling me in to do more stuff lately.
相当高兴 It's pretty exciting.
相信我 最多我们只能得到三个字... Well trust me, we'll be lucky if we get in three words before.
第一步是 找到事实 The first step is to pull our facts.
最重要的一环是 派尔顿院长 The most important one being, Dean Pelton.
格林德尔社区大学到底有没有给过狗学位 Did Greendale Community College give a degree to a dog?
我好像记得 没有 I seem to recall, no.
不可能 绝对不可能 No way. There's absolutely no way.
不是那只狗 Not that dog.
-那只狗 -你终于想起狗的事儿了 - That dog? - You remember the dog.
它有没有参加过什么课程 Was it enrolled in classes?
这问题有什么难回答的 How are these hard questions?
你为什么问这些问题 Why, are these the questions you're asking?
你不想知道有没有给过狗学位吗 You don't wanna know, if a dog got a degree here?
这不重要 It's not important.
我想知道的是 有没有证据能证明 What I wanna know is, did a dog get a degree here,
这里给过狗学位 in any way that can be proven?
这种说法我喜欢 杰夫瑞 Ooh, I like that, Jeffrey.
我不喜欢 I don't like that!
我喜欢真相 I like the truth.
没人的时候再扮律师玩 Play lawyer on your own time.
现在就是我的私人时间 This is my own time.
你不是想出点力吗 You wanna be invested?
那个鬼广告会害我降工资 Well, this dump cuts my paychecks,
我就剩三小时去维权了 and I've got three hours to defend it.
我怎么能把时间浪费在什么真相上 So, how many seconds of that should I waste on truth,
真相不过就是一种 which is an artificial construct
在法庭上基本站不住脚的虚伪概念 that rarely holds up in court,
对于争议结果也没有一丝作用 and has never changed the outcome of a fight.
抱歉让你目睹到某人这么丑恶的一面 I'm sorry you have to see him like this.
他也有一件事说对了 Well, he is right about one thing,
如果城市学院无法证明自己说的话 if City College can't support their claim,
那就是诽谤 我们可以让电台撤下广告 it's libel, we can have the station pull the ad,
所以我们更要查出真相 but that is precisely why the truth does matter.
布兰达悖论 The Brenda paradox.
我找到那只狗了 I found the dog.
还找到很多人的社保号 I also found a lot of people's social security numbers.
这事已经闹大了 You know, this incident's gone to far.
是啊 Yeah.
这上面说她是以伯德梗犬注册入学的 This says she's registered as a border terrier.
广告里说的是斯塔福德犬 They said Staffordshire in the commercial.
这不就是料吗 Isn't that something?
我们认识这畜生才半分钟 I mean we've known this animal 30 seconds
就已经知道她不靠谱了 and she's already unreliable.
谁才是真正的来福 Who is the real Ruffles?
打断一下 I'm sorry.
我们的对策就是抹黑那只狗吗 Our strategy is to go after the dog?
我们的对策就是否认 Our strategy is denial,
其中包括降低消息源的可信度 which includes discrediting the source.
阿布蒂 你能做一段攻击广告吗 Abed, can you make one of those attack ads?
杰夫是要把我做成攻击广告 Jeff wants me to make me an attack ad.
那他为什么会有恋童癖 So, why is he a pedophile?
我在进行情节设置 Just demonstrating the formula.
你可以一边做一边琢磨 You can refine your technique as you go.
我要知道关于这个来福的一切 I wanna know everything about this Ruffles,
她以为自己在这里读过书 行啊 she thinks she went to this school, fine.
她说不定还觉得喵便便好吃呢 But, maybe she thinks cat turds are delicious.
她说不定还会因为邮递员是黑人而多吠几声呢 And maybe she barks just a little bit more, at black mailmen.
虽说她现在不能生育了 And she's spayed now,
但谁知道她撒过多少野种 but how many puppies are out there?
你要这么做 那咱和城市学院也是一路货色 If you do this, we're no better than City College.
我们本来就是一路货色 We've never been better than City College.
我们都给狗颁学位了 We gave a degree to a dog.
据说是 这次会议内容一定要保密 Allegedly. This conversation is privileged.
我可以把班克斯风格的狗涂鸦 I could do a Banksy style stencil of a dog,
喷满整个校园 and spray paint it all over a school.
真棒 That sounds great!
但不如你先找些咖啡 But first, why don't you go get a bunch of coffee,
喝光光后 再弄一些带到这儿来 drink all of it, then go get some more and bring it back here.
我喜欢这主意 I actually love that idea.
我和她一起 I'll go with her.
谁叫她穿着我的裤子呢 She's wearing my pants.
我知道现在都疯了 I know this is crazy,
我去档案处查查 but I'm gonna check the school records to see if,
看看我们是不是真的给狗颁过学位 you know, we gave a degree to a dog.
-没有 -太好了 - We didn't. - That's good.
你们去找你们心爱的真相吧 You guys go find that truth you love so much.
如果我们能用得上 马上带来 If it's the kind. Kind we can use, bring it back.
如果不是 就地销毁证据 If not, you know, stuff gets lost.
不要 你个坏蛋 No. No. Bad!
我们和城市学院不一样 We are better than City College.
一直如此 We always have been.
所以我知道 我们没有给狗颁过学位 Which is why I know, that we did not give a degree to a dog.
要我说 我们就该以毒攻毒 I say we fight fire with fire.
城市学院想要羞辱我们 City College try to embarrass us?
-我们也要羞辱他们 对不对 - 对 - We should embarrass them, right? - Right.
不如我带着摄像机潜进城市学院 I say I go to City College with a camera,
拍一段不堪入目的小电影 shoot a really gross porno movie
然后放到网上去 on their campus and put it online.
-好啊 -妥了 - Fine. - Cool.
等等 什么 Wait, what?
看你工作的样子真有劲儿 It's very inspiring to watch you work.
你也激励着我 You are inspiring, too.
怎么激励的 In what way?
我想要橄榄 能给我拿一些来吗 I need olives, can you bring me olives?
又来啊 Not again.
一个月之前你就这么干过 You did this a month ago.
可我给你的时候 你却很不喜欢的样子 Then I brought them to you, and you acted like you hated them.
这是我们之间的秘密 It's only my style to be secret,
请给我拿五罐橄榄来 please bring me five can of olive.
五罐 Five cans?
如果我说不喜欢 别信我的 But don't believe me if I say I don't like.
我只是假装不喜欢橄榄 I'm just pretending I hate olives.
说实话 我一点都不在乎 Honestly? I couldn't care less
学校是不是给狗颁了学位 if they gave a dog a degree.
我也是 Me neither.
说真的 我还希望他们给了 In fact, I kinda hope they did.
-为什么 -我也不知道 - Well, why is that? - I don't know.
他们都觉得我是个笑话 They all treat me like I'm a joke.
但如果狗都拿到了学位 But if a dog got a degree,
那说明我们都不过是个笑话 that means we're all a joke.
「冰冻娜塔莉」乐队 Natalie is Freezing?
你知道他们 You know them?
当然 可你怎么会... Yeah of course I know them. But how do you?
-你... -是黑人吗 - You're ... - Black?
不 是老了 No. Old.
对不起 我的意思是 Oh, I'm sorry. I just meant that,
我可是15岁的时候迷上他们的 when I was into them I was like 15.
我那会儿40了 I was like 40.
成人后 我并不怎么听音乐 I never really listened to music, when I was growing up.
我沉浸在自己的世界里 I was in my own world,
但有天工作的时候 我听到了一段旋律 but one day at work, I heard this sound.
是「垃圾之柱」 It was Pillar of Garbage.
那是他们最棒的歌 Oh, that is their best song.
最棒的 Best song.
这里就有 I've got it right here.
-能放放吗 -好 - Would you play it? - Yeah.
知道不 You know, you know what?
那帮人想要掩盖狗拿学位的事情 You know, those guys are going to need coffee
就一定会需要咖啡的 if they're going to keep that dog from having a degree.
这可是十万火急的 There are things at, at stake here.
我现在明白了 I, I get that now.
我闻到一股味儿 I found the smell.
有人把墨西哥卷放档案里了 Someone filed a taco.
真正需要归档的东西早已成我身上膘 Things that will otherwise get filed straight to my thighs.
我知道你是赞同找出真相的 so I know you agree with me that we need to find the truth, but...
但你是不是也认为 真相并不可怕 Do you agree that the truth won't be horrible?
我又不是灵媒 安妮 I'm not psychic, Annie,
那是一种极端准备情绪而引发的幻觉 that's an illusion caused by extreme preparedness.
那你希望真相是什么 But, what do you hope is true?
天啊 我从不心怀希望 Oh God no, I never hope.
希望会让你杞人忧天 Hope is pouting in advance.
希望和信仰是姐妹 不过更富更贱 Hope is faith's richer, bitchier sister.
希望是特权和恐惧乱伦所生下的 Hope is the deformed addict bound incest
瘾君子 畸形儿 monster offspring of entitlement and fear.
当我放弃希望和手机上所有的农场游戏后 My life results tripled the year I gave up hope
我的人生成就整整翻了三倍 and every game on my phone that had anything to do with farming.
真的就是真的 安妮 What's true will be true, Annie.
我们的工作就是应对真相 Our job is to deal with that truth.
你的语气有点像杰夫 You sound a little like Jeff.
杰夫说我像阿布蒂 Jeff said I sound like Abed.
我在想 布雷塔是不是觉得我像昌 I wonder if Britta thinks I sound like Chang.
我觉得昌会觉得我像 I assume Change thinks I sound like
远方的爆炸和嚎哭的婴儿 distant explosions and crying babies.
你知道他不太正常 对吧 You know, he's unstable, right?
没错 Yep.
来福的档案 Oh, a transcript for Ruffles.
那就是我们要找的狗吗 You think that's our guy?
是的 I do.
天啊 Oh my God.
上了这么多课 So many classes.
看到心怀希望的后果了吧 See what hope does?
你讨厌了啦 弗兰 Screw you, Frankie!
我很抱歉 安妮 I'm sorry, Annie.
但我觉得你还没看到全部 But I don't think you're seeing this for what it is.
一只狗的档案 It's a transcript for a dog.
好厚一本呢 A really, really long one!
杰夫是对的 It's proof that Jeff was right.
这所学校毫无价值 This school has no value.
但这里没有学位证 Yeah, but this folder has no degree.
-看 -什么 - Look. - What's that?
胜利 Victory.
格林德尔式胜利 You know, within the context of Greendale.
-这样会不会好一点 -不会 - Would it be better if we-. - No.
你不试怎么知道 Never know until you try.
-我不试都知道 - 什么 - Never know until I try. - What?
咱们组队真棒 I said we're quite a team.
咖啡来了 Here's the coffee.
如果还有什么需要我帮忙的 尽管说 Let me know if there's anything else I can do to help.
你们来给这段视频提提意见 We could use some fresh eyes on this cut.
用得着吗 We could?
没人跟你说过 和你共事真的很不舒服吗 Has anyone told you you're difficult to work with?
你那行的都这么说 Everyone in your line of work.
这是来福 This is Ruffles.
她迷惑着你 She'd like you to believe
让你觉得她是个乖乖的大学毕业生 she's a college graduate and a good girl.
千万别被来福骗了 But Ruffles is anything, but-.
2007年 当来福搬进社区 When Ruffles moved into her neighborhood in 2007,
松鼠的死亡率上升了17% dead squirrels went up by 17%.
是巧合吗 Coincidence?
问问这只兔兔吧 Ask this bunny.
来福还偷过一位女童子军的饼干 Ruffles stole cookies from a Girl Scout,
假装成龙虾 impersonated a lobster,
育有27只狗宝宝 分别来自5位父亲 has had 27 children with five different fathers,
另外据本地医生声称 她还携带有寄生虫 and, according to one local doctor, has worms.
也许来福会说自己没干 Ruffles might claim she doesn't.
来福干过的事可不止如此 Ruffles claims a lot of things,
没准这就是她有次被关入死囚牢房的原因呢 maybe that's why Ruffles once spent time on death row.
来福 不是小龙虾 Ruffles, not a lobster,
亦非学子 更不是好狗狗 not a student, not a good dog.
「人类对来福」出资 Paid for by Humanity versus Ruffles.
我本来是想搞一个 I originally wanted the voice over to be
詹姆斯·琼斯模拟音 a James roll Jones impersonator,
但詹姆斯·贝特的模拟音居然也很不错 but the James Bater impersonator turned out pretty good.
我真希望他已经走人了 I do wish he'd leave, though.
-你们还真给狗颁学位了 -对 - You really let that dog have it. - Yeah.
现在我认为这一点相当重要了 Which I, I realize, is important now.
我想睡觉 可不可以... Is it okay if I crash on-.
-可以 -行 - Yeah. -Yes.
你在干什么 What are you doing?
没干什么 Nothing at all.
才不是呢 I wouldn't say that.
你刚刚把五罐橄榄放在我旁边 You just put five huge cans of olives next to me.
我想做就这么做了呀 Just something I felt like doing.
你已经不是第一次做这种事了 This isn't the first time you've done this.
我真被你搞糊涂了 I'm really confused by this.
这是什么暗号吗 Is it code for something?
不知道 I don't know.
我也不关心 And I don't care.
中头奖了 格林德尔的头奖 Jackpot, relative to Greendale.
天 瞅瞅这么多课 这狗真是畜生出身吗 My God, look at the course load, this dog was an animal.
绝大部分课还是要出勤率的 Most of them were attendance based.
这算什么好消息 How is this good news?
图书馆费未付 15美元 Unpaid library fees, 15 dollars,
学位证书暂扣直到偿清欠款 diploma withheld until payment remitted.
学位没发 那个广告是骗人的 No degree, the commercial's a lie.
我马上打给电台让他们撤掉广告 I'm gonna call the station right now and have them pull the ad.
去吃屎吧来福 不限于吃你自己的哟 Eat crap Ruffles, and not just your own.
大家消停会儿好吗 Guys, let it go.
你在说什么啊 What are you talking about?
事实的悲哀在于一只狗都可以拿到学位 The sad truth is that a dog can get a degree here.
但让人高兴的事实是没有狗拿到了学位 Yeah, but the happy truth is none did.
真相和诚实是有区别的好吗 There's a difference between truth and honesty.
图书馆费 Library dues?
谁在乎啊 Who cares!
来福在格林德尔上过学 Ruffles put the work in relative to Greendale.
城市学院的广告从技术上讲也许是谎言 That City College ad may be technically a lie,
但如果将这个广告撤下来才叫不诚实呢 but it's really dishonest to kill it on a technicality.
还有抹黑一只狗 And dragging this dog's name through the mud?
这种事比不诚实还恶劣 That's worse than dishonest.
简直是罪恶 That's evil!
罪恶 Evil?
我承认是很傻 I'll cop to silly.
有些东西又傻又邪恶 比如糖果香烟 Somethings are silly and evil, like candy cigarettes.
还记得弗拉瓦·法拉演的那个真人秀吗 And remember when Flava Flav had that reality show?
我家没电视 I don't own a TV.
说实话 我觉得现在我们最应该做的事情 Honestly, I think the most honest thing we can do right now.
唯一能证明我们比城市学院更优秀的事情 The only thing that will make us better then City College,
就是让广告播出 接受我们应有的报应 is to let that ad run and take our lumps.
安妮 这件事一开始是我要睡觉 Annie, this started with me sleeping
然后被你嚎着说我不帮忙 and getting yelled at for not helping.
如果这件事结果是你冲我嚎 因为我没睡觉 If it ends with you yelling at me for not sleeping,
这可算不上是故事 而是德国艺术电影 that's not a story, that's a German art film.
别闹了 Let, let it go.
你个堂堂男老师居然用力气 I am a female student being physically
压制我这个娇弱女学生 overpowered by a male teacher.
该死 Damn it!
布雷塔 按住她 Britta, get her.
弗兰 你上 Frankie, get her!
安妮小亲亲 你好好想想 Annie, sweetie, think about this practically.
如果证明我们比城市学院优秀的方式 If being better than City College means
是任由他们毁灭掉我们 那又有什么意义呢 letting them destroy us then what is the point?
如果像他们一样才能苟且偷生有什么意义 If surviving means being like them, what's the point?
不如就让这个学校消亡好了 Why not let one school die,
然后进一所把我的学位当回事的学校 and enroll at the one where my grades matter.
如果这是你的条件 If those are your terms.
如果那份成绩档案的代价是允许你转校的话 If the price of that transcript is you transferring?
我们接受 We accept.
不过我个人希望你只是在瞎咋呼 Personally, I hope you're bluffing.
这就是你所谓的希望 Yeah, well, here's what hope gets you.
拿着希望和这一块四毛九去买糖吃吧 Hope and $1.49 will get you a candy bar.
-是79 -真的假的 要了命了 - Buck 79. - Are you serious? Jesus!
随你们高兴吧 这个招摇撞骗 Have fun with your lying, cheating,
抹黑狗狗 dog smearing,
混淆事实 乱穿裤子的破学校 truth blurring, trouser swapping school.
我不记得当年糖块只有50分时是怎么做的了 I don't remember when candy bars were 50 cents.
如果有人声称自己加入了门萨俱乐部 If someone says, hey, I just joined Mensa.
或是自以为自己是后现代这个那个的 Or I consider myself a postmodern this or that.
你可以说 对 再加50分就够买糖块了 You could say yeah, that and $.50 could get you a candy bar,
或是再加25分就够打电话的了 or that and a quarter could get you a phone call.
当年要装冷淡可真的很容易啊 It was easy to be unimpressed back then.
我的意思是当年真的很便宜 I mean it was, literally, cheaper.
大家现在好像无比沮丧 All right, we're kinda bummed out right now.
安妮就这么走了 Annie just left.
你们感情好不 Were you guys close?
城市社区大学 入学申请
阿布蒂 我现在不想说话 Abed, I don't wanna talk right now.
好 Okay.
-我 -就告诉你一声 格林德尔的广告 - I. - Just so you know, the Greendale ad
现在随时都能提交播出了 is gonna go up any time now.
我想也许你会想先看看 I thought you might want to see it.
你知道我不想再掺和这件事了 You know I don't to be a part of that.
相信我吧 Just trust me.
这是来福 This is Ruffles.
来福是格林德尔社区大学的一名学生 Ruffles was a student at Greendale Community College,
她差点儿就拿到了学位 she came really close to getting a degree,
这意味着两件事 which means two things.
她是一只出类拔萃的狗狗 She's an exceptional dog,
而格林德尔真的需要重振旗鼓 and Greendale really needs to get its together.
我们正在努力 We're working on it.
我们非常的努力 We're working hard.
好的一面是 如果你在格林德尔足够努力 And the good news is, when you work hard at Greendale,
无论你是谁或是什么 都会有回报的 no matter who or what you are, it pays off.
对吧 来福 Right, Ruffles?
吓死我了 Jesus.
格林德尔社区大学 Greendale Community College.
你已经可以入学了 You're already accepted.
我就知道你们不会那样对来福的 You guys I knew you wouldn't do that to Ruffles.
你希望的嘛 You hoped.
我有希望而且成真了 I hoped and it worked.
希望点点点 Hope points.
你也知道我们所做的 You do understand that what we did,
也是最深谋远虑的战略性应对 was also just the most prudent tactical move,
比莱特曼的性丑闻更有前瞻性的作战风格 getting in front of the scandal Letterman style.
好啦 杰夫 别担心 Yes Jeff don't worry.
我保证以后再也不冤枉你冷酷无情了 I promise I'll never mistake you for having a heart.
谢谢 Thank you.
跟城市学校吻别吧 Kiss City College goodbye.
我做了 I did it.
做什么了 Did what?
我们说好的那件事吧 That stuff we talked about.
你是谁啊 Who are you?
我是水管工啊 I'm the plumber?
为什么 Why?
这就是为什么 Here's why!
天哪 Oh, God.
这是小黄片吧 This is pornography?
当然 Doy.
-演员就你一个 -怎样 - You're the only actor. - So?
你用的镜头什么型号的 What kind of lens is this?
谁在乎啊 Who cares?
搞不好你是个天才呢 You might be a genius.
你为什么要这么做 Why did you do this?
如果一个学校曾经是小黄片的拍摄地 What parent is going to let their kid go to a school
哪个家长会送孩子来啊 if a porn got shot there?
但你是在一堵石灰墙前拍的 说是哪儿都行 But you shot in front of a plaster wall that could be anywhere.
而且你还穿着格林德尔的T恤衫 And you're wearing your Greendale T-shirt.
好吧天才 但视频标题是 Okay genius, but the title is
昌操格林德尔 等下 Chang does Greendale, oh wait.
重拍 Reshoots.
手机通讯费四万日元
我现在看着眼前的儿子 就仿佛看到了你真土舅舅的鬼魂一般
在你眼里 凡事只要跟钱扯上关系 所有人都一个样
在你的世界里 可能你把我看成是敌人
但你到外面的世界试试 你就等着哭吧
东京是一个用血和机械 铸就而成的钢铁都市
你还能替我下判断吗
你根本什么都不懂
你最后也会沦为 像我这样一个渺小的存在
院长 The dean?
你好 Hellos?
你有麻烦了吗 你还好吗 Are you in trouble? Is everything okay?
人生是不是到处都很艰难 Is life hard everywhere?
是不是所有人都是孤独的 Is everyone alone?
一直都是 All the time.
你在家吗 杰夫瑞 Are you at home Jeffrey?
要不要我过去陪你 Should I come over?
你过不来的 You cannot come to me.
我必须跟你坦白 I must confession you.
我不是杰夫瑞 I am not Jeffrey.
我知道 I understand.
我也不知道自己是谁 I rarely know who I am.
不是 我是说我不是杰夫瑞 No, I mean I am not Jeffrey.
尽情倾诉吧 Let it out.
我叫隆 我是住在东京的少年 I am Takashi. I am teenage boy in Tokyo.
我觉得有时大家都是这样的 I think we all are sometimes.
很抱歉之前骗你玩 但我现在需要朋友 I am sorry for making fun before, but now I need a friend.
我明天再给你带点橄榄吧 杰夫瑞 Why don't I bring you some olives tomorrow, Jeffrey?
我不是杰夫瑞 I am not Jeffrey!
我也不是院长 I am not the dean!
我也不是院长 I am not the Dean!
我经常回想起那个晚上 I often think about that night.
那么小的一件事 最终正是那一刻 Such a small event, but ultimately the moment
带引着我成为了「艾欧班」 that would lead me to becoming Ioban.
带引着我成为了「大组长」[親分] that would lead me to becoming Oyabun.
日本黑道最至高无上的老大 Highest the leader of the Yakuza.
你看懂了没 Did you get any of that?