丹尼尔桑每次都怕 宫城讨厌打架 Always scare Danielson, Miyagi hate fighting.
宫城讨厌打架 Miyagi hate fighting.
台词是啥 Line?
对 但你喜欢空手道 Yeah, but you like karate.
对了 对 但你...喜欢空手道 Right, right, yeah, but, y, you like karate though.
那怎样 So?
忘词了 Line.
昌 三点就要试演了 Chang, the audition's at 3.00.
要不我还是不去了 我演技也不怎么好 Maybe I shouldn't go, you know, maybe I'm a bad actor.
准备充足只是表演的一小部分 Being good is a fraction of acting.
这需要训练与自信 It takes discipline and confidence.
训练 自信 Discipline, confidence.
好 从头来 Okay from the top.
丹尼尔桑每次都怕 Always scare Danielson.
宫城讨厌打架 Miyagi hate fighting.
台词 Line.
我听到「龙威小子」台词了 I heard Karate Kid quotes.
昌要去市里参加舞台剧版「龙威小子」的试演 Chang is auditioning for the stage adaptation of Karate Kid downtown.
对 要试演丹尼尔·拉鲁索 Yeah, and it's for the part of Daniel LaRusso.
你有意见吗 种族主义者 You got a problem with that, racist?
没有 现在也在角色中吗 No, you're acting now?
对啊 阁下有何指教 Yeah you got a problem with that?
没有 I'm clear.
他们把我的蛇改成了水管工 They took my snake, and they turned it into a plumber.
把蛋做成桶 They made the eggs, into barrels.
然后又把松树改成了大猩猩 The pine tree they made into a gorilla,
但我还是认出了那是我的设计 but I recognized my design.
大金刚个屁[游戏] Donkey Kong my ass.
那叫建筑蛇 That's Construction Snake.
我不当律师很多年 I don't practice law anymore.
但我们这也可以上诉吧 But, we have a case, right?
你告的那些人不都死了吗 Isn't everyone you'd be suing dead?
这话说的不对了啊 兄弟 That's not cool, man.
为什么树要朝蛇扔蛋 Why would a tree throw eggs at a snake?
好好的教皇干嘛跟猴子过不去 Why would a papal be fighting a monkey?
我不知道 不知道 I don't know, I don't know.
Wi-Fi还没好 The Wi-Fi's still broken.
早上好哪去了 What happened to good morning?
变成早上不好了 Wi-Fi没了 It's a bad morning, no Wi-Fi.
我们非常需要Wi-Fi Yeah, we really need Wi-Fi.
我们别大题小做 Okay, let's not get carried away.
我们需要氧气 We need oxygen.
氧气我们有了 需要的是Wi-Fi We have oxygen, we need Wi-Fi.
Wi-Fi Wi-Fi Wi-Fi Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi, Wi-Fi.
够了 好吗 Okay, enough, right?
瞧瞧我干嘛呢 看好了 Look what I'm doing, look.
修 Wi-Fi Fix, Wi-Fi.
拿好 Mm-hm, okay, boom and boom.
好了 All right.
我想找IT女士来着 I, I'm trying to find the IT Lady.
S05E06 IT女士的扮演者正是弗兰 所以才会收到乱码和高频声波
但发的电邮变成阿拉姆语又打回来了 My emails to her get bounced back to me in Aramaic,
我打电话找 听到的都是高频声波 and when I call, I hear an undulating
害得我鼻血直流 high-pitched whistle that makes my nose bleed.
听起来这IT女士不怎么样啊 Well, sounds like a bad IT Lady, right?
弗兰 招个新IT女士 Frankie, hire a new IT Lady.
我对技术很在行 I'm pretty handy with technology.
我想都是大同小异啊 孔小了 字节多了 I'm assuming it's still the same, smaller holes, more bytes.
我们现在按什么算了 论M了 Now what are we up to now, mega?
-到T了 -T了都 - Tera. - Tera.
居然做到了 这帮禽兽 他们终于实现了 They did it, those bastards. They finally did it.
弗兰 就雇埃尔罗伊了 Frankie, hire Elroy.
埃尔罗伊 你是新IT女士 Elroy, you're the IT Lady.
我能当他助手吗 Can I be his assistant?
动机不纯 Not for money.
我能当他朋友吗 Can I be his friend?
埃尔罗伊 阿布蒂是你朋友 Elroy Abed is your friend.
我来这的真正原因是 Now the real reason I came by,
我要死了 I'm dying.
不是真的 但想象一下 Not really, but imagine how
你们还抱怨Wi-Fi多不应该 bad you feel for complaining about the Wi-Fi.
现在说真正原因 Here's the real reason.
太短了吗 Too short?
会不会太短了 It is too short?
不短吗 It's not too short?
要你们何用 You people are no help.
翻 译 逍遥派一十八代传人眉来眼去剑别扭大菜
翻 译 捂裆派二十八代护法情意绵绵掌夕橙冷冷道
时 间 轴 少林寺一十三代饭堂总管茄子拌炸鸡罗大
时 间 轴 鸭形门想念Gallifrey的Wholock
校 对/总 监 白明教左护法数字公子橙闲云
后 期 峨眉派一十一代掌门越女失魂手鱼大骨头
「废柴联盟」 第六季 第四集
本字幕首发于字幕组网站 仅作交流 严禁用于商业用途 www.ZiMuZu.tv
校董会驾到 School board come in.
校董会 你被包围了 School board, you're surrounded.
因为篝火吗 If this is about the bonfire,
天气一暖我们就把篝火灭了啊 we'll put it out when the weather breaks.
我们没有恶意 We come in peace.
虽然我们之间分分合合 但如今 We've had our ups and downs, but as of right now.
我们爱这所学校 欣赏你对它做的贡献 We love this school, and love what you're doing with it.
啥 What?
为什么 Why?
想不想升职 What would you think about moving up?
加入我们校董会 Joining us on the board?
我吗 Me?
能加入校董会我荣幸之至 I would love to be on the school board.
-太好了 -好极了 - Awesome. - Awesome.
还有个事 One, one more thing.
你是基佬吧 You're gay, right?
我是说 出了柜的基佬 I mean, like openly gay.
我什么柜都没出 基佬丝毫都涵盖不了 I'm not openly anything, and gay doesn't begin to cover it.
不是的 No, no.
我懂了 Oh, I get it.
因为你们取消了同性恋大游行 This is about the uproar over you guys cancelling the pride parade,
改成了校董会大游行 for a school board parade.
那帮人天天都能打扮的美美的 Those guys get to dress fancy all year.
-不 -我们就只有那一天 - No, no. - We have one day!
不 不是因为这个 No, this isn't about that.
是因为我们要给校董会加一张新面孔 This is about adding a new face to the board.
而且如果这张新面孔是基佬的话 But, if that new face happened to be openly gay,
会显得我们非常包容 it would be because we're so tolerant.
而且总是特别管用 And always work.
那是我们要操心的事儿 But, that's for us to deal with.
你的问题是 我是不是出柜基佬 The question you have to ask is, am I openly gay?
因为如果你是 那借着你的火基箭 Because, if you are that gayness could be a rocket,
你将达到新基峰 thrusting you to new gay heights.
但你要不是 And if you're not.
有的是基佬等着呢 Well, there's a lot of gay guys out there.
感觉这是一种生活方式的卖点 I feel that's the selling point of the lifestyle.
我还真没想到这点 You know, I, I, I never thought about it that way.
我想到了 Well, I have.
从此滚床单不带女人 简直天才 Cutting women out of sex, it's genius.
模仿致敬 Dolly Parton 演唱的「Jolene」 陈慧琳曾翻唱过此歌
*基院长* * Gay Dean. *
*求你到校董会来当基院长* * I'm begging you to be a Gay Dean of the school board. *
顺着这个就能找到路由器了 This should lead to the router.
退退退 退退退 Back up, back up, back up, back up back up back back.
怎么回事 Wh, wh, what's going on?
-怎么了 -里面有鸟巢 巢中有雏鸟 - What's going on? - There's a birds nest in there, with babies in it.
鸟妈妈肯定因为里面暖和才在这筑巢 The mother must have built it there because of the heat.
跟我妈妈带我同母异父兄弟去亚利桑那州一样 Same reason my mom took my half brother to Arizona.
那也许Wi-Fi就因为它才坏的 That's probably why the Wi-Fi's down,
我们得把它挪走 we'll have to move it.
挪走了鸟妈妈就回不来了 If you move them the mother won't come back.
那些鸟不是IT女士 可我是 Those birds aren't the new IT Lady, I am.
我会小心地挪 I'll move it carefully.
鸟妈妈就不会回来了 The mother won't come back.
孩子 动物们已经互相残杀三十亿年了 Kid, animals have been murdering each other for 3 billion years.
鸟类已经称霸过一千五百万年 Birds have had their 15 million in the spotlight.
同理还有蜥蜴以及植物 The same as lizards and plants
他们现在的作用就是杀 吃 搞 and they all just use it to murder, eat, screw
以及不影响Wi-Fi and not invent Wi-Fi.
现在我们或许能救下这窝 或者弄死这窝 Now we may end up saving this one, or blowing it to hell or
再来窝新的 making a new one.
但当规划未来的发展时 我们改变不了 But we can't do any of it while scheduling our evolution around
吉祥鸟毫无用处这一事实 the needs of the least lucky birds.
克里夫·巴克 恐怖作家/导演/艺术家
你是魔鬼吗 克里夫·巴克写过你吗 What are you, a demon? Did Clive Barker write you?
换任何人找到鸟窝 都会做一样的决定 Anyone who finds that nest, will come to the same decision.
你不用这么刻薄 And you don't have to get mean.
刻薄 Mean?
你刚刚说了一番雏鸟杀手的独白 You just did a baby bird murder monologue.
它们可能马上就要离巢了 Maybe they're close to leaving the nest,
在那之前你就不能学学真IT的作风 until then can't you just stall
拖延一下吗 by doing what real IT people do?
那是什么 What's that?
学得真像 Exactly.
我还有一年的时间可以努力 I've got one year to make it all work,
我就是要这样 and that's what I'm gonna do,
要成功 一切 make it work, all of it.
这里好恐怖 This place is intimidating.
你会做好的 You're gonna do great.
下个上场 本·昌试演丹尼尔·拉鲁索 Next up, Ben Chang, for the role of Daniel LaRusso.
谢谢 Thank you.
丹尼尔桑 你为什么想学空手道 Daniel-san, why you want learn karate?
等一下 Hang on a second.
抱歉 我可以做得更好 Sorry, I can do better.
闭嘴 Zip it.
你是哪位 Who are you?
我叫安妮 昌的朋友 Oh, I'm Annie, a friend of Chang's.
介不介意上台跟你朋友搭一下戏 You mind coming up here and reading with your friend?
好的 乐意效劳 Okay, if it helps.
丹尼尔桑 你想干什么 Daniel-san, what you want?
不 抱歉 不是 Okay, no, sorry, no.
你演丹尼尔桑 You read Daniel-san.
你演宫城 You read Miyagi.
第七场 宫城办公室 We'll do scene seven, Miyagi's office.
你就是修理工 Are you the repairman?
嗨咦 Aye.
这水龙头漏水了 The faucet's really leaky there.
嗨咦 Aye.
你什么时候能修好 When you gonna fix it?
以后 After.
什么以后 After what.
就是以后 After after.
让其他人都散了吧 Tell everyone else to go home.
我们都拿到角色了 We got the parts!
过来 过来 Here here.
你「们」 Parts plural?
没错 安妮拿到了我的角色 Well yeah, Annie got my part
我拿到了亚洲人的角色 and I got the Asian part.
昌 Chang.
别这么说 Stop!
我们能选上演宫城老师和龙威小子 We were cast as Mr. Miagi and the Karate Kid,
是因为我们合作得好 because we're a good team!
我们合作得好 是因为其中一人 We're a team, because one
演技出众到可以跨越性别出演 of us is so talented she got cast outside her
而另一个被选中 是因为眼型 gender and the other one, got cast because of eye shape.
我不允许你这么妄自菲薄 I am not letting you sabotage yourself like this.
就算你说得对 Let's say you're right.
就像在你之前的西德尼·波地埃[黑人] And like Sidney Poitier or
梅格·瑞恩[金发碧眼] Meg Ryan before you,
你确实因种族被选中 you were cast for race.
但你如何诠释你的角色 才是重点 It's what the actor does with the role they get, that matters.
-懂吗 -你说得对 - All right? - You're right.
好了 IT女士 All right IT Lady.
进展如何 How goes it?
我找出问题所在了 I found your problem.
然后呢 And?
我需要点时间来修理 I'll need a little time to fix it.
你需要点时间来修理 Wow, need time to fix it?
这IT行话说得活灵活现啊 You sound just like you work in IT.
有个有意思的消息要跟你们说 I've got some interesting news,
校董会邀请我加入 the school board, offered me a position.
太好了 Great.
酷 Cool.
我得到了一出戏里的角色 Well I got a part in a play
大家都在说这个事呢 and we were sort of talking about that,
好好察言观色 派尔顿 so read the room Pelton.
那你会加入吗 Are you gonna take the job?
我不知道 有个问题 I don't know, there's a catch.
杰夫瑞 弗兰 来我办公室一下 Jeffery, Frankie, could I see you in my office please?
他们想让你当同性恋代表人物 They want you to be a token homosexual?
这是种进步 三十年前 It's a form of progress, 30 years ago,
出柜基佬能独领风骚的地方只有广场方格 the most power an openly gay could achieve was a center square.
游戏竞赛真人秀「好莱坞广场」 曾经有几位公开出柜的明星上过该节目
但我不仅仅是基佬 But I'm not just gay.
什么意思 What does that mean?
如果出柜是场魔术表演 If coming out is a magic show,
那么基属性就是帽子里掏出的兔子 and gayness is the rabbit out of the hat,
可我是那种扯不完的手绢 I'm one of those, never in any handkerchiefs.
真的吗 克拉格 Is that truth, Craig?
只要不直 就够校董会基一壶了 Anything other than straight, is plenty gay for a school board.
最重要的是 The most important point is,
你准备好将你无关他人的性取向 are you prepared to make your sexuality,
作为你社会角色中的一方面 which is nobody's business,
展现出来了吗 an aspect of your role in society?
我知道我没准备好 所以我不会去 I know I'm not, so I don't.
没有 No?
当一个人成为了象征 会获得象征权力 When a person becomes symbolic they gain symbolic power,
所付出的的代价就是不受约束权 at the price of independent power.
对 说得好 Yep. That's an excellent point.
对格林德尔可能是好事 It could be good for Greendale,
起码校董会里有我们自己人了 for one of our own to be on the school board.
事实上你得把你性趣所在划掉几项 I mean the fact that you'd be leaving a few items off
我是说 你在政治中的目标 your list of your turn-ons, I mean, the goal in politics,
并不是透明度 而是赢 isn't transparency, it's winning.
所以政治家们总是会赢 That's why the politicians always win.
他们还真总赢 是不是 They do always win, don't they?
可现在我有机会赢了 But now I get a chance to win.
我可以从内部改变这个系统 I could change the system from the inside out.
我要做的不过是将我的性向减少至基佬而已 And all I have to do is pare down my sexuality to simple gayness,
已经彻底地掺合到一起了 which is heavily in the mix.
就这么定了 There you go.
准备好吧 美国 Get ready America.
派尔顿院长要出柜了 Dean Pelton is coming out
将他七分之二的性向公之于众 as approximately two-sevenths of what he is.
快来 Come on.
别把我晾这儿 Don't leave me hanging.
好样的 There we go.
我太好奇了[性趣盎然] I am so curious.
理智上的 Intellectually.
好吧 All right.
这场是很基本的戏 This is a pretty basic scene.
没什么潜台词 No real subtext.
我们照本宣科就行 Let's just get it up on its feet.
不会出岔子的 There's no wrong answers.
懂了吗 好 Okay? Great.
开始 Go.
修水龙头的 Hey, come fix faucet.
空手道 照书上学的 Oh, Karate, learn from book?
对 Yeah.
还在我老家泽西YMCA那里学过几课 And a few classes back at the Y in Jersey where I'm from.
眼睛怎么了 What happened eye?
好吧 先停一下 Okay, I'm gonna stop you right there.
看来还真能出岔子 I guess there are wrong answers.
快调整一下 本 Quick adjustment, Ben.
-怎么 -演好点 - Yeah? - Act better.
演好点 Act better.
谢谢 Thanks.
安妮 演得很好 Annie, you're doing great.
继续这么演就行 Keep doing what you're doing.
我能不能问一下我的动机... Can I ask about by motiv-.
不让我吐出来就是你的动机 Keep me from puking is your motivation.
不要让我看得想放弃导戏去自杀 Stop making me want to quit the theater and kill myself.
开始 Go.
接着眼睛怎么了演 After what happened I.
好 Okay.
我骑车摔倒了 I fell off my bike.
幸亏没伤到手 Lucky no hurt hand.
够了 Okay.
我能看看工具箱吗 Can I see this tool box?
很好 非常好 Great. This is good.
拿到了 Got it.
这工具演的 I got distracted
都比你吸引人 cuz the tools were doing a better job than you.
眼睛怎么了 What happened eye?
说 Say it.
眼睛怎么了 What happened eye?
骗子 Liar.
别再跟我说谎 Stop lying to me.
说 Say it.
眼睛怎么了 What happened eye?
以后怎么了 What happened after?
你哭了 You crying?
我叫你哭你再哭 You cry when I tell you to cry.
把你那恶了吧心的小咸菜汤子 So reabsorb that disgusting droplet of salt and
和你那憋了吧屈的演技收回面炮体格儿里去 bad choices back into your doughy body.
再打给你老娘问问 And then call your mother
她能不能用她的面炮逼再把你吸回去 to see if you can be reabsorbed back into her
不然老子发誓 doughy body or so help me God,
会把你的咸菜眼泪冻起来 I will take that tear, I will freeze it, and
再拿出来插爆你的眼珠子 I will stab you in the eye with it,
你这个鬼都不惦记的黑人粑粑 you waste of a soul-shaped hole forgotten by God.
好了 Okay.
我要不要... What should I.
安妮 什么都不用改 完美 Annie, don't change a thing, you're perfect.
不过你想改就改 Unless you want to.
好 Okay.
我是瑞吉·康提 这是我哥们卡尔 All right I'm Reg County, this is my man Carl.
我们在校董会工作 We work on the school board.
对 就是我们 Yeah, we do.
我们有好消息要分享给大家 We have some exciting news for you.
你们的院长 克拉格·派尔顿 Your own Dean, Craig Pelton,
已经被选入科罗拉多社区大学校董会 has been selected to join the board of
不用我多说了 请讲 院长 Colorado Community College's, and I'll just go, go ahead Dean.
请讲 Guys. Talk.
好啊 格林德尔 Okay. Hello Greendale.
你们都知道 长久以来我有一件心事未完成 As you know, this is something I wanted for a very long time and
我想感谢所有格林德尔人帮我实现了 I wanted to thank all of the people at Greendale that helped me
这位是我的伴侣 多明戈 achieve this and my partner, Domingo.
为我家克拉格骄傲 Very proud of my Craig.
真是... Oh, that's, but, oh, oh.
现在可以回答大家的问题了 And now let's open it up to some questions.
院长 院长 作为基院长 Dean. Dean. Dean. As a Gay Dean.
您对最近颇有争议的 What is your opinion about
取消同性恋大游行有什么看法 the recent controversy surrounding
您被选入校董会 the cancelled Pride Parade, and do you think you were selected
是否是因为您的的性取向 to join the board because of your sexual preference?
我想说我们非常骄傲能请到派尔顿先生 I would just like to say that we are very proud to have Mr.Pelton
加入校董会 不管他的生活方式如何 on the board, whatever his lifestyle may be.
恰好是个基佬 Which happens to be gay!
这点很好 但没有关系 Which is great, but irrelevant!
越来越好了 Hey, it gets better!
好呀 Oh good.
我们很幸福 We're so happy.
我感觉自己好渣 I feel like scum.
基友都是渣吗 Gay people are scum?
少跟我来这套 小伙子 Hey, don't play that card with me young man.
我把同性恋爱搞得跟摩门教似的 I make gayness look like Mormonism.
我不喜欢这么欺世盗名 I don't like being this dishonest.
院长 我想感谢你所做的这一切 Dean, I want to say thanks for doing this.
我从来都不知道 I never knew.
大家是有谈论过 但如此确定... I mean, people talked, but, for sure...
我其实没出多少力 Well, it really doesn't have anything to do with my work.
但对我来说很有帮助 Yeah, but it's helpful, to me.
对我们很多人来说也受到了帮助 You know, and to a lot of us, so.
谢谢你 Thank you.
注意你的角色界线 多明戈 Confine yourself to your role Domingo.
不许再摆那种态度 And lose the attitude.
*基院长 基院长* * Gay Dean, Gay Dean, *
「格林德尔大公镜报」 格林德尔基院长 院长说「我是基佬」
*基院长 基院长* * Gay Dean, Gay Dean, *
「基友杂志」 性与学校 基院长
*求你到校董会来当基院长* * I'm begging you to be a Gay Dean for the school board *
「格林德尔基友观察」 早说了嘛
崭新基院长——就是我! 发布人 克拉格·派尔顿院长
*你生活方式好另类* * Your lifestyle is alternative *
「院长健康」
*你的影响很积极* * Your influence is positive *
「基友管理者」 大学校园的基院长
*你代表了改变的大趋势* * You represent the changing of the tide *
院长声称「是的 我已加入校董事会」
「拉美风情-科罗拉多州」 好耶 多明戈和他的基院长
*基院长 基院长* * Gay Dean, Gay Dean, *
黑天神 Hare Krishna.
天神 天神 Krishna Krishna.
丹尼尔桑 你可真好玩 Oh, Daniel-san, you much-a humor.
行 Hm, okay.
就此打住吧 Let's stop there.
我不会揍你的 I'm not gonna hit you.
不是因为这样不合法 And it's not because it's illegal,
当然肯定也不是因为你可能会空手道 and it's certainly not because I'm afraid you know karate
而是因为你的表演毫无可信度 because there is nothing about your performance that is believable.
我们只会打那些能影响我们的东西 See, we only hit things, that effect us.
我不会去揍水 I don't hit water.
或是陈年蛋黄酱 Or old mayonnaise.
或是放屁消散后的空气 Or the air after a fart has dissipated.
我当然也不会打你 And I'm not hitting you.
你是我导过的最烂的演员 You are the worst actor I've ever directed
而我可是导过两个沃尔伯格的人 and I've directed both Wahlbergs!
从头再来 From the top!
丹尼来清理地板 宫城表现出很开心 Danny does a bit with the floor sanders, Miyagi is amused,
肯尼再去给我端一杯干他娘的咖啡 and Kenny gets me another God damned cup of coffee
要加六粒代糖 with six Splendas in it!
黑天神 Hare Krishna.
他真是太欺负昌了 He's so mean to Chang.
真不晓得该怎么办 I don't know what to do.
你直接罢演不就得了 You could just drop out of the play.
我是可以的呀 Well, you know I could.
昌罢演也行啊 Or Chang could.
导演可没欺负过我 I mean, the director is not being mean to me.
但当初是你说服昌参加了选角 But you talked Chang into auditioning
然后你又抢走他的角色 害他现在受欺负 and then you got his part and now he's suffering.
你说得对 我应该威胁说我要退出 You're right, I should threaten to quit.
直接退出好嘛 Or just quit.
如果我威胁要退出没准就足够 Well, if I threaten to quit maybe that will be enough
让他不再虐待昌了呢 for him to stop abusing Chang.
我好像很有演戏天赋呢 布雷塔 I was kind of born to act, Brita.
当我表演时 When I do it.
我能感觉到天人合一 喜乐非常 I can feel it pleasing the universe.
真狗血 That's dramatic.
是吧 See?
西奥多说如果它们是麻雀 那在12天内 Theodore says that if they're sparrows they'll be flying
肯定会飞翔 如果是信天翁 in less than 12 days. If they're albatrosses,
那就麻烦了 we're in trouble.
信天翁的雏鸟期长达270天 Albatrosses have a 270 day fledgling period.
谢谢你能陪我一起守卫鸟巢 Thanks for guarding the nest with me.
你工作时就在干这个吗 This is what you do when you're working?
肯定挺舒服的哈 Must be nice.
好吧 听我说 All right, look.
路由器里有一个鸟巢 There's a bird's nest in the router.
要是你想炒我 随便你炒好了 Now if you want to fire me, fire me.
无论怎样 在这些小鸟飞走之前 Either way, until those birds are gone
任何人都不得接近 nobody gets any closer.
当然不能靠近啦 Well of course not.
如果动了鸟巢 鸟妈妈就不会回来了 If you move them the mother won't come back.
继续好好工作吧 Keep up the good work.
上蜡 Show me wax on.
这是我有生以来看过的最烂的表演 This is the worst acting I've ever seen in my life.
刮蜡 Show me wax, off.
你老爹的幽灵都转身不忍直视了 The ghost of your father just turned his back on you.
你家八辈祖宗都气得乱挠 Your ancestors are clawing their way
挠向地下深处 好赶紧逃离你 deeper into the Earth to get away from you,
你让我觉得拥有大拇指就是罪啊 you make me embarrassed to have thumbs,
你周围飘满了讽刺性的引号啊 I can see air quotes around you.
漆篱笆 Show me paint the fence.
咚咚咚 有人在家吗 Knock, knock, knock, anybody home?
看 里面啥都没有 好多灰呀 Oh look, there's nobody here, oh it's so dusty,
看起来好像很多年都没人住了 it's almost like nobody's been here in years.
这里有个纸条 There's a note.
千万别让我表演 Never let me act.
兰德加德先生 很抱歉 Mr. Lundegaard, I'm sorry,
但我已经无法忍受你的所作所为了 but I cannot stand by while you do this.
没关系 你可以走人啊 That's fine, you can go.
我可不是在吓唬你 I'm not bluffing.
光靠大吼大叫也无法让演员变得更有天赋 You can't make an actor more talented by yelling at them.
如果你再不收手 你的主角只好退出了 And if you don't stop, your lead character is going to walk.
主角 Lead?
你扮演的是丹尼尔·拉鲁索 You played Danny LaRusso.
我是龙威小子呀 Well I'm the Karate Kid.
龙威小子说的是宮城健介 The Karate Kid is about Kesuke Miyagi,
身为移民却在二战中跟同胞相斗 an immigrant who fought against his own people in World War II,
而他的妻子则在俘虏营痛失爱子 while his wife lost a child in an internment camp.
森田则之因为自己的精彩表演 Noriyuki Morita was nominated for an Academy Award
荣获奥斯卡提名 for his performance.
拉尔夫·马奇奥呢 Ralph Macchio?
出席而已 Showed up.
我选你出演只是因为你的三围 I cast you because your measurements
刚好能穿上去年的戏装 allow me to use the same wardrobe as last year.
我选本则是因为他拥有忧伤的气质 I cast Ben because he has the sadness and
以及极高的天赋可以让这部戏大放异彩 talent that could make this show great.
如果我得在他胸膛上钻孔 If I have to physically drill into his chest
拿吸管吸出他的才华 and suck it out with a straw!
这样你才能随便来个无影脚 画圈圈啥的 So you can take a flying kick and a rolling donut!
你被炒了 You'e fired.
但我也很有天赋不是吗 But I'm talented, too, right?
啥 你讲真的吗 What? No. Really?
真心的吗 Really?
我的天 你简直就是 Oh my God! You’re like doing
糟心版的维尼·巴巴雷诺好吗 a terrible Vinnie Barbarino up here.
源自1975年情景剧「Welcome Back, Kotter」 约翰·特拉沃尔塔在其中饰演的学生角色
我知道你这货啥事儿都干不好 But, like, I know you're not capable of anything better.
所以我才对你客客气气的 So, that's why I've been so nice to you.
保重吧 安妮 Take care Annie.
呵呵哒 Yikes, right?
真当自己是女主吗 What a diva.
谢谢你为我挺胸而出 Thanks for sticking up for me.
不客气 No problem?
从现在开始 就当她死了 From now on, she's dead to us.
基院长 我们有问题了 Hey Gay Dean we got a problem here.
你给当地报纸打电话 You ring the local papers.
你关闭了学校的Wi-Fi You've shut down the campus WiFi
直到一窝小鸟长大飞走是吗 until a nest of baby birds can grow?
这也有点太基了吧 That's a little too gay.
我这样做并不是因为我是基佬 I didn't do it because I'm gay.
等下 我根本不是基佬 Wait, I'm not gay.
刚刚那句话我们就当没听到 Oh. Oh, that did not just get said to us.
你就是基佬 You are gay.
你就是出柜基佬 我们万分支持 You are openly gay and we love it.
现在我们面临的 But now we are dealing with more flak
来自保守党对你的谴责要远远多于 from conservatives for appointing you
当初因没有基佬而招致的基佬谴责 than we ever did from gays for not having one of you.
而且基佬也并不跟你站一边 Yeah, and the gays aren't coming to your side.
知道为什么吗 You know why?
因为重点就在于以基佬的身份获得工作 Because the whole point is to get a job by being gay
但工作表现要像正常人一样优秀 and then to do as good of job as the normals.
这才是基佬的愿望 That's what the gays want.
他们可不想要好似基佬怪物的基院长 They don't want a Gay Dean who acts like a weird gay monster.
人家不是基院长 I'm not a Gay Dean.
表这样啦亲 Whoa, not cool, man
别再拿你的谎言欺骗我们啦 Don't bring us into your web of lies.
那现在你们要我怎样 Well, now what do you want me to do?
自己搞定 基院长 Figure it out, Gay Dean.
自己搞定 Figure it out.
你好 多明戈 Hey, Domingo.
你们好 Hey, what's up?
伙计们 学校需要Wi-Fi Guys, the school needs Wi-Fi,
我的工作就是维持学校运营 and my job is to run the school.
学校不需要小雏鸟 The school doesn't need baby birds.
鸟巢必须马上移除 The nest needs to be moved.
不许你们跨过这条线 You are not crossing this line.
我要发微博了 I'm taping this.
开始录像 This is on video.
-给我上 -现在是两个白人保安 - Guys. - This is two white security guards
对付一个手无寸铁的黑人外加两只小雏鸟 versus one unarmed black man and two baby birds.
出招吧 Your move.
退下 Stand down.
不要保安 不用武器 No security, no weapons.
只有一个手无寸铁的黑人 Just one unarmed black man
对抗一个手无寸铁的出柜基院长 versus one unarmed, openly Gay Dean.
现在挪走鸟巢 劳驾 Now move that nest, please.
拜托往后一点点 感觉你都要帮我呼吸了 Just a hair back Domingo, it's like you're breathing for me.
*你生活方式好另类* * Your lifestyle is alternative *
*你的影响很积极* * Your influence is positive *
*你代表了改变的大趋势* * You represent the changing of the tide *
*你鼓舞了年轻的小基佬* * Inspiring to young gay men *
*你再也不会心存羞愧* * You'll never be ashamed again *
*但你内心仍有秘密深锁其中* * But there's another secret locked inside *
*基院长 基院长* * Gay Dean, Gay Dean *
*求你到校董会来当基院长* * I'm begging you to be a gay Dean for the school board *
*基院长 基院长* * Gay Dean, Gay Dean *
真的好感谢你 Thank you so much.
我召开本次新闻发布会 I have called this press conference because
是因为我一直对公众没有坦诚相待 I have been less that honest with the public.
大家都知道我是格林德尔大学的出柜基院长 You know me as the openly Gay Dean of Greendale Community College,
但这根本不是真正的我 but that doesn't even begin to describe what I really am.
我是美国最受排斥 I belong to one of the most marginalized
最不坦诚的群体的一员 and least openly honest groups in America.
我是一名政客 I am a politician.
这代表什么意思呢 Now what does that mean?
难道说政客都跟你一样吗 我们看似普通 Are politicians like you? Well we look like you,
但我们会千方百计 不择手段 but we will say and do whatever we have
只为获得和保住我们的工作 to in order to acquire and keep our jobs.
也就是说 It means
我说的所有话以及想法都是不可信的 nothing I say and very few of the things I think can be trusted.
我已经受够了藏在这深柜之中 I am tired of being in this particular closet
所以现在我出柜了 so I am coming out now.
我希望你们可以接受 I only hope that you can accept
一位出柜的政客进入董事会 an openly political person on your board.
如果不行 我也理解 If not, I understand.
谢谢大家 Thank you.
从这边回我办公室比较近 Just faster if get to my office this way.
拜托不要拍照 We don't need any pictures of this.
难以置信院长居然被踢出校董会 I can't believe the Dean got kicked off the school board
-只因他是政客 -对啊 - just for admitting he's political. - Yeah.
有些群体要获得大众认可得需要更长的时间 Some groups take longer than others to gain acceptance.
我们喜欢藏在深柜的政客因为我们有所恐惧 We like our politicians in the closest because we're afraid,
而在内心深处 我们都有点政客倾向 deep down, we're all a little political.
有人闻到小鸟杀手的气息了吗 Any of you guys smell a bird murderer?
我是来道歉的 I came here to apologize.
我倒希望你道歉时会带着鸟嘴衔着中空骨头 Well, I hope your apology comes with a beak and hollow bones
脑袋里加个磁铁 好能指向移动 and a special magnet in his head it uses to migrate.
你把翅膀给漏掉了 You skipped wings.
昆虫也有翅膀 Insects have wings.
对不起嘛 I'm sorry.
对不起 阿布蒂 I'm sorry, Abed.
我在角色中迷失了自我 I lost myself in a role.
这种事再也不会发生了 It won't happen again.
两只鸟死了一只 剩下一只 Two of them died. There's one left.
它还在坚持 但我担心 He's hanging on, but I'm worried
它已成为纯真自我的一个象征了 he's turning into a symbol of my own innocence.
昌今晚不是有演出吗 Isn't Chang's play tonight?
你们谁敢去 就是在支持虐待行为 If any of you go, you're supporting abuse.
消停会好吧 安妮 Oh, dial it back, Annie.
我肯定会去的 Well, I'm definitely in.
到时看看他的假哭跟真哭有何不同 It'll be interesting to see how his fake crying
肯定特别有趣 is different from his real crying.
我是舞台艺术的脑残粉 Well I'm a big fan of the performing arts,
但我会去看昌演的剧的 but I'll go to Chang's play anyway.
「龙威小子」舞台剧 Karate Kid adaptation?
「龙威小子」舞台剧 好呀 Karate Kid adaptation? Okay.
我也许会去 I might.
我马上赶上啦 I'm catching up.
导演有话要说 Directors have a saying.
演员一文不值 是没脑子的人体模型 Actors are worthless, empty-headed homunculi,
但合适的人演了合适的角色 but the right one, in the right role
则会颠覆世界 can change the world.
我找到了一个合适的人 Hm, I have found the right one.
他找到了合适的角色 He's found the right role,
今晚 你们的世界将被颠覆 and tonight, your world changes.
谢谢各位 You're welcome.
他用安妮·金代替了我 He replaced me with Annie Kim.
对不起 你还好吧 Sorry. You okay?
你肯定是新搬来20号公寓的吧 You must be the new people in apartment 20.
你这是什么招数 空手道吗 What was that? Karate?
对啊 Yeah, you know?
我和几个朋友待会要搞个海滩派对 Hey, me and some of my friends are gonna have a party at the beach later.
你应该也过来玩玩 You should come.
-喂 你就是修理工吗 -嗨咦 - Hey! Are you the repair man? - Aye.
水龙头漏水了 Faucet's really leaking there.
嗨咦 Aye.
你什么时候能修好 When are you gonna fix it?
以后 After.
什么以后 After what?
就是以后 After, after.
请你们别烦这孩子 让他好好训练 Come ask, leave boy alone to train.
你还挺有种的 老头子 You got a lot of nerve, old man.
但我喜欢 我很是喜欢 But I like that. I like that.
说个地儿吧 Name a place.
锦标赛 Tournament.
宫城中士 Sergeant Miyagi.
是的 长官 Yes, sir.
很遗憾通知您太太已故 长官 Regret to inform wife, sir.
分娩并发症 长官 Complication at birth, sir.
没医生 来不了 No doctor, it can't.
该死 Oh shit.
请原谅我 Please forgive me.
不需要再打了 你已证明了 No need fight anymore, you proved point.
什么 证明我可以被打吗 What, that I could take a beating.
每次我见到那些人 Every time I see those guys,
他们都知道我会被打得落花流水 they'll know they got the best of me.
闭上眼睛 Close eye.
快起来吧 丹尼尔 Get up, Daniel.
站起来 Get up!
你还好吧 鲁索 You all right, Russo?
我们成功了 宫城先生 We did it, Mister Miyagi.
我们成功了 We did it.
我竟无言以对 I'm speechless.
我都忘记台上的是昌了 I forgot Chang was up there.
我也是 Me, too.
能够支持他真是让人松了口气 It's such a relief to be able to support him
总算不是那种让人恐惧的事情了 out of something other than fear.
我想昌遭受的所有折磨都获得了回报 I guess all that suffering Chang endured paid off.
舞台剧的意义并不重要 It's not what the play suggests,
重要的是大家不禁怀疑如果丹尼尔 but you have to wonder if it wouldn't have been better
被虐得更惨是不是效果会更好 for Daniel to get beat up even more.
我完全不知道从这里能学到什么教训 I am at a total loss about what lesson to learn from any of this.
也许这也是教训之一 Maybe that's the lesson.
我丢了一颗纽扣 I lost a button.
也许大家都丢了一颗纽扣 Maybe we all lost a button.
大家好 Hey, hey guys!
真是太谢谢你们了 Thank you so much.
谢谢你当初帮我演了这部剧 Hey, thank you for making me do this.
别客气 You're welcome.
恭喜你 Congratulations.
我好嫉妒 I'm jealous.
别别别 No, no, don't be.
相信我 我坐在化妆室时 Believe me, I sit in my dressing room
满脑子只剩下白色尖桩篱笆和一只狗 and all I dream about is a white picket fence and a dog.
这两样东西我都没有 I don't have those either.
昌 走啦 Chang, let's go.
我想所有演员都要去什么演员之吧庆祝一下 I guess all the actors go to some sort of actor bar together.
那么大家回头学校再见 So, I'll see you guys at school.
拜 Bye.
我知道有个酒吧 适合并不自我厌恶的人 Hey, I know this great bar for people that don't hate themselves.
你意下如何 What do you say?
小姐请 My lady.
先生请 My lord.
今天我们欢聚一堂 We are gathered here today
庆祝这只小鸟能够放飞天空 to celebrate the release of this bird into these skies.
它那完全成熟的翅膀 That its now fully formed wings
也许会在四面八方的风中找到价值 may find purchase upon the four winds.
如果有谁想发表一下感想 就是现在了 If anyone would like to say something, now's the time.
我会一直铭记 Oh, I'll always remember
你害我一周都收不到电邮 how you kept me from getting email for a week.
还有你想多吃面包屑时的唧唧喳喳 And that chirp you do when you want more bread.
对 就是这个声儿 Yeah, that one.
现在各位 请戴上猫面具和指套翅膀 And now everyone, please put on your cat masks and finger wings.
戴着这些猫面具 With these cat masks,
我们会提醒你 这个地方不再是你的家 we remind you that this place can no longer be your home,
随着这些飞舞的小翅膀 but with the fluttering of these wings,
我们会象征性地跟你一起飞翔在大自然中 we symbolically join your flight into the natural world.
翅膀挥起来各位 Wings everyone.
好了 你可以走啦 Okay. You can go now.
对 快飞吧 Yeah. Off you go.
该走了 小鸟 这就是你的命运 Time to go, little bird, that's just the way it is.
成功了 Then it's done.
你做了一件正确的事 阿布蒂 You did the right thing, Abed.
因为你 那只鸟才得以拥有整个鸟生 Thanks to you, that bird has his whole bird life ahead of him,
得以飞翔 遇到鸟姑娘 甚至组建鸟家庭 to fly, meet lady birds, even start a bird family.
你让世界变得不同 You made a difference.
阿布蒂 Abed.
你看懂了没 Did you get any of that?
雅虎 Yahoo!