弗兰把我们叫来干嘛 Why did Frankie call us here?
不知道 I don't know,
什么财政预算会让学校盈利[走向黑暗] some financial prospect that could put the school in the black.
我一直没闹明白 Which always confuses me,
黑不是不好吗 黑猫啦 黑香蕉啦 because black means bad, when it's a cat or a banana,
或者是让你有减肥成功错觉的黑T恤衫 or a shirt that makes you think you've lost more weight than you have.
终于把话圆上了 不好意思兄弟 Nice save. Sorry about that, man.
咋了 What?
是因为有人提「黑」这词儿了 Did someone use the word black and
然后你们就希望我原谅你们吗 now you want me to give you the all clear?
拜托别跟我说我是靠肤色才混进组的 Please tell me that won't be my role in this group.
本人的脑含量堪比木星 I have a brain the size of Jupiter.
犯不着给人当捉鬼敢死队第四名队员 I'm nobody's forth Ghost Buster.
没有 我保证这个组没那想法 No, I promise, this group does not think that way.
事实上在你之前 这组里有两 In fact, before you got here, they had two.
错 No.
有两日三省吾身 They had to often step back and
时刻谨记自己乃非光芒四射之团体 remind themselves that they weren't one collective ray of light.
这是邪教吗 Is this a cult?
你们不会把我吃了吧 Are you gonna eat me?
不是 我们很好 No, we're fine.
我在纽约住过 I lived in New York.
说起来期中考试结束了 Speaking of which, midterms are over and
我在想大家要不要来我家开个派对啊 I was thinking we could have a party at our apartment.
-阿布蒂 安妮 -你可以办派对 - Abed, Annie? -You can have a party.
你不可以办狂欢 You can't have a rager.
我们有规定不能超过八名宾客 We have a rule against more than eight guests.
八名宾客 Eight guests?
那根本不是狂欢 派对都算不上 That's not, not a rager, that's not a party.
知词善用 Nice grammar.
好吧 你们有不能超过八位宾客的规定 Okay, you have a rule against parties,
肯定已经创下了史上最刻板记录 which I'm sure is a world record for uptightness,
那让我们庆祝一下吧 so let's celebrate that.
我带酒和超过八名宾客来 I'll bring the booze and more than eight guests.
布雷塔你才刚刚搬进来 Britta you just moved in,
连个正式的卧室都还没有 you don't even have a real bedroom.
你是个沙发客 You're a coucher.
她睡在 沙发上 She sleeps on the couch.
她是沙发客 She's a coucher.
那我就什么都不能有了吗 So I get nothing?
你有沙发 You get a couch.
有家 You get a home.
不用你来闹革命 There's no government to overthrow here.
我没有闹革命 I'm not overthrowing.
你这么说就是闹革命 You're overthrowing it by say-so.
反讽得漂亮 Nice irony.
我们能不能注意下这个 现在都能这样了 Can we focus on this, because now this is happening.
大家好 Hello, everyone.
别紧张 Don't be alarmed.
我现在通过这个远端临场机器人参加此次会议 I'm attending our meeting using what's called a telepresence robot.
你居然认为我会紧张 我严正抗议 I resent the idea that this would alarm me.
这些机器人已经在私营企业中产生了改革效应 These bots have been revolutionizing the private sector,
现今科罗多拉州给我们提出了一个独一无二的 and now the state of Colorado has come to us with a unique.
提议 Proposition.
无缝衔接 弗兰 Seamless, Frankie.
惩治局说如果我们允许一定可控数量的犯人 The Department of Corrections will pay us money
通过这一设备来格林德尔上学 if we allow a small manageable
他们将会付给我们报酬 number of inmates to attend Greendale using these.
等等 你是说犯人们 Now, hold on, are you trying to tell me that prisoners
要用这玩意儿来我们学校 would use these things to come to our school?
这就是科幻电影里的典型黑人反应 That's the black guy in every sci-fi movie.
我允许 I'll allow it.
等等 犯人们在学生旁边四处乱窜 Wait, prisoners, rolling around the school with students?
他们会强奸我们 They'll rape us.
他们会把我们都强奸了 They'll rape us all.
他们强奸不了你 They can't rape you because
因为他们的生殖器离你十万八千里远 their genitals will be hundreds of miles away.
彼此呢 From each other?
这是罪犯改造的一种新尝试 This is an attempt at rehabilitation.
这所监狱希望有途径能让他们的犯人 The prison is looking for ways to expose their
进入到真实的学术环境中 inmates to a real world academic environment.
好 我听够了 Okay, I've heard enough.
我对这所学校负责 I'm responsible for this school.
我不会允许不知悔改的犯人们混进来 I won't have hardened criminals exposing themselves to it.
别人也是这么拒绝他们的 That's the response they're getting from everyone,
所以州政府提供三十万美元的奖励 which is why the state is offering a $300,000 incentive.
我们接了 We'll do it.
院长 接客 Dean, do it.
给学校赚三十万 300,000 for the school.
他们都是罪犯 They're convicts.
他们是插在棍上的平板电脑 They're iPads on sticks.
作为一个收钱不让人入狱的人 我跟你们说 As someone that got paid to keep people out, let me tell you.
同志们 Hey, guys?
我在走月球步 I'm moonwalking.
不是每个坏人都被关进监狱了 Not every bad guy ends up in prison,
也不是每个囚犯都是坏人 and not every prisoner is a bad guy.
这人是谁啊 Who's this guy?
三十万 300,000!
对 Oh, yeah.
杰夫瑞 你知道通常我对你是言听计从 Jeffrey, you know ordinarily I do anything you say.
-接了 -我们接了 - Do it. - Let's do it.
自投罗网了 Oh, I walked into that one.
臭死了 谁放的屁 当我没说 Gross, who farted? Oh, wait, nevermind.
■
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翻 译 中东吴彦祖 Abed 橙
翻 译 北美四叶草 Dean 菜
翻 译 欧洲李敏镐 Annie 裙
时 间 轴 保定柯南 Frankie 姜
后 期 峨眉一枝花 Chang 骨头
校对/总监 不存在的夕橙
废柴联盟 第六季 第五集
感谢你说服我接了这个活 I'm so glad you talked me into this,
三十万啊 看看我们 $300 000, look at us,
一起经营着这所学校 running the school together.
要我来经营学校 涨工资 No, if I'm running the school, pay me more.
那我提拔你当名誉教授怎么样 Oh, what if I made you professor emeritus?
-可以办个小仪式 -涨工资吗 - We could have a little ceremony. - Does it pay more?
-不涨 -那把办仪式的钱给我 - No. - Then give me what the ceremony would cost.
大家好 欢迎 Okay, folks welcome.
你们应该已经有了我们学校的地图 I, I believe you all have maps of our campus.
这位是你们的院长 And this is your dean.
院长请 Dean?
如果让我看到任何种族帮派的迹象 Now, if I see any race gangs forming,
那我没别的办法 I will have no choice but to adjust
只能把你们的画面都调成一个色 the contrast on your screens until you all look the same.
我们有着非常严厉的校规 And, we have a very strict no bullying policy
即不许欺凌我 that relates directly to me.
所以对我好一点哦 So be nice to me.
不要紧张 No need to be nervous.
我们都是因为做了恶事才到了这 We're all here because we done some bad stuff,
但我们在这不会再作恶了 but we ain't here do anymore.
好亲切友好哦 谢谢 Aw, that's very folksy. Thank you.
那么我想... So, I guess just.
开步走 改造开始 Roll forth and rehabilitate!
他们能看到我们 我们也能看到他们呢 They can see us and we can see them so.
让我假释
-欢迎 -行了 别闹了 - Welcome. - All right, knock it off.
本校所有学生都不得捉弄班上的同学 No one at this school, should pick on any class of people.
就像魔法师欺负变戏法的一样 It's like watching magicians bully jugglers.
你叫什么名字 What's your name?
威利 Willie.
威利 请坐吧 Willie. Take a seat.
我是杰夫·翁格老师 教授法律基础 I'm Mr. Jeff Winger, I teach Fundamentals of Law.
这是不是说你可以教我怎么出狱呢 Does that mean you can teach me how to get out?
大概不行 Probably not.
我是假律师 被人揭发了 I was a phony lawyer, I got caught,
现在我在教一门相当假的课 and now I teach a pretty phony class.
大家自动都得A 但也许你能学到一二 It's an automatic A, but you might learn a thing or two.
我是说字面上的一两件事 行吧 And I mean literally a thing or two, cool?
我还是罪犯呢 And the call me the criminal.
相信我 我知道咱俩之间的主要区别 Trust me, I know the main difference between us,
只有一套橘色连身衣而已 is an orange jumpsuit.
你还有iPad呢 You have an iPad.
对 而且我还是杀人犯呢 Yeah, and I'm a murderer.
别害怕 我并不为此骄傲 Now now, don't worry, I ain't proud of it.
只是不想隐瞒 Just don't hide it.
一旦你夺取了某个人的性命 You know, once you take another man's life,
至少可以做的就是背负这一罪责 the least you can do is carry it with you.
你有身负命案吗 翁格老师 Are you carrying any murders, Mr. Winger?
没有 I am not.
我听说你对自己所杀的人感情至深 I hear you have to have strong feelings for someone you kill.
这种感情一般我会保留在自己内心 I try to reserve that stuff for myself.
好了 法律知识到此结束 All right. That's enough law.
谁想看「行星地球」 Who wants to watch Planet Earth?
看看 Oh, look.
「冰雪世界」 Ice World.
壮丽山河 Oh, the majesty,
犀牛大象 rhinos and elephants.
阿布蒂 Hey, Abed.
你在咱们公寓住的时间是不是比安妮更久 Haven't you been in our apartment longer than Annie?
是啊 我还记得她刚搬进来时的情景 Oh yeah. I remember when she first moved in.
当时我还在为调整生活节奏而忧心 That's back when I was so worried about pacing,
我一直在为穿越笑话做准备 I was constantly laying groundwork for pop back gag's.
安妮 我希望这一刻能成为 Hey Annie, I'd like to make this moment worth popping back
值得从未来穿越回来的时刻 to from some point in the future.
我不晓得这是什么意思 I don't know what that means.
别担心 会成功的 There, don't worry, it'll pay off.
特洛伊 Hey Troy.
我很高兴自己戒掉了那个嗜好 I'm glad I kicked that habit,
因为有点越来越不好玩了 it was getting a little joyless.
我的意思是按安妮的逻辑 What I'm saying is, by Annie's logic.
你是说我是最先住进公寓的 You're saying I was first in the apartment,
所以我可以否决安妮 让你开派对 so I could overrule Annie and let you have a party,
但派对什么对我没有任何好处 but I don't get anything out of parties.
派对好像是各种主题的聚会 They're like conventions for every subject,
因为只限于自己的主题太过无聊 too boring to have their own convention,
「复仇者联盟」1+2部导演
但没有乔斯·惠登 倒是把警察招来了 and instead of Joss Whedon, the police show up.
那次你让伦纳德脱衣服 The police also showed up
还有养了一客厅的蜥蜴时 when you made Leonard take off his clothes
不也把警察给招来了吗 and filled the living room with lizards.
那是为了拍我的电影「逆转哥斯拉」 That was from my movie, Reverse Godzilla.
我还以为自己能完成完美的穿越呢 I also thought I might make a good pop back.
我拍摄电影 布雷塔 I make movies, Britta.
我拍电影 安妮定规矩 I make movies, Annie makes rules,
你开派对 她的规矩否掉你的派对 you make parties, her rules cancel out your parties,
但不会涉及到我 我只拍电影而已 but I'm not involved, I just make movies.
你好 Hey there.
晚上好 翁格老师 Evening, Mr. Winger.
威利 这么晚你怎么还在这 Willy, you're here late.
是啊 上了几节夜间课程 Yeah, taking some night classes.
想充分利用一下时间嘛 Trying to take full advantage, you know?
这是你的车 Is this your car?
真不错 It's nice.
看来你也挺会充分利用的 Looks like you're taking full advantage too.
没错 这辆车超完美的 Yeah. It's a real dream gig.
冷嘲热讽 油嘴滑舌 不可一世 Mm, sarcasm, slick words, cock of the walk.
在监狱里这属于哪种危险处境呢 What are categories in prison jeopardy?
你介不介意帮我一个忙 Hey, you mind helping me out with something?
我好像丢了一粒滚珠 I think I lost a ball bearing.
好像滚到楼梯下面去了 It rolled down them stairs.
丢了一粒滚珠 Lost a ball bearing?
嗯 在楼梯下面 Mm-hm, down them stairs.
你要我去楼梯下面找是吗 You want me to look down these stairs?
好 Okay.
你刚刚是想谋杀我吗 Did you just try to murder me?
你是在试图谋杀我吗 Are you trying to murder me?
你现在正在拼命试图杀害我 You're trying as hard as you can right now to kill me.
好吧 Okay well...
咱们明天课堂上再见吧 I guess I'll see you in class tomorrow,
试图谋杀我的小伙子 guy who tried to murder me.
明天在课堂上再见咯 翁格老师 Oh I'll see you in class tomorrow, Mr. Winger.
再见 会再见的 I will see you, yeah I'll see you.
明天再见了 翁格老师 Oh, I'll see you tomorrow, Mr. Winger.
我们真的要开派对吗 So we are having a party?
安妮 我还不至于那么差劲 Annie, you know me better than that,
这只是布景而已啦 this is all set dressing,
我在帮阿布蒂制作他下一部电影 I'm helping Abed produce his next film.
「布雷塔的派对」 Britta's Party,
根据一个充满乐趣无拘无束的真实故事改编 based on a true story of fun and no rules.
镜头淡入 派对开始之前 Fade in before a party.
最新美剧下载 www.ZiMuZu.tv
人们陆续到来 八人以上 People start coming over, way more than eight.
气氛逐渐狂热 大家玩得很嗨 It becomes a rager, everyone has a great time
派对堪称醉生梦死 然后大家就走了 and parties like there's no tomorrow, then they leave.
索菲亚清理残局 结束 Sophia cleans up, the end.
我们很想请你出演索菲亚这个角色 We're very interested in you for the role of Sophia.
我看了「等不及说爱你」的现实时间风险 I see the real time stakes of Can't Hardly Wait,
「乖仔也疯狂」颠覆性的低俗 the subversive raunch of Risky Business,
以及2003年以后各种无病呻吟 and the mumbly pointlessness of everything after 2003.
但派对是真的 Yeah, but real.
完全的真实 Totally real.
电影首次捕捉到了真正派对所凝聚的内涵 The first movie to capture the heart of a real party.
无休无止 醉生梦死 The sensation that there's no tomorrow,
超越时空 超越死亡 the transcendence of time and mortality.
真棒 布雷塔 好机智哦 Bravo Britta, very clever.
我吗 Me?
不关我事 我可没权给这么大的项目开绿灯 Don't look at me, I could never greenlight a project this big,
我是最晚进来的 我就是沙发客 I moved in third, I am a coucher.
她是沙发客 She's a coucher.
-我睡在沙发上 -我睡在沙发上 - I sleep on a couch! - I sleep on a couch!
她就是沙发客 Oh, she's a coucher!
-我是沙发客 -这是谁 - I'm a coucher! - Who was it?
沙发客 上帝哦 It's a coucher! Oh, boy.
好吧 晚安 Okay, good night.
晚安 Good night.
不等这事结束 你就会跪着求我原谅 Before this is over, you'll beg for my forgiveness.
现在有个小小的风险 So, we have an ultimately low stakes,
有个犯人有点古怪 but nonetheless creepy problem with one of our Y felons.
你是说威利吗 You mean Willie?
是 Yes.
他还干了什么 What else did he do?
是不是偷了考驾照的模拟器 Did he steal a driver's ED simulator?
是不是利用平板发动了非法的纸牌赌博 Did he start an illegal game of solitaire on his face?
杰夫瑞 他就在我办公室呢 Jeffrey, he's in the room.
你好 翁格老师 Hey, Mr. Winger.
他怎么会在你的电脑上 Why is he on your laptop?
他今早想找我谈谈 He came to me for a chat this morning.
他来我们这儿是为了学习 杰夫瑞 He's here for an education, Jeffrey,
而且要向监狱汇报的 and he reports to the prison.
你就不能好好教书 不放「行星地球」好吗 Could you do a little more in your class than show Planet Earth?
你竟对我说教 You're telling on me?
他昨晚企图谋杀我 He tried to murder me last night.
什么 What?
打住 Now hold on.
按我们那儿的规矩 Now where I'm from,
如果你要指控别人 最好拿出证据 if you accuse somebody of something, you better have evidence
不然对方肯定是弱势群体 or he better be a minority.
他想把我推下楼梯 He tried to push me down the stairs.
真是荒唐 That's ridiculous.
是很荒唐 It was ridiculous,
但这种人不宜与学生接触 but this is not someone who should be interacting with students.
你真要听他的 而不听我的了吗 And you're seriously taking his word over mine.
你杀过人吗 杰夫瑞 Well, have you ever killed anyone Jeffrey?
为什么一个杀人犯 Why would an actual murderer
要杀一个社区大学的老师呢 want to kill a community college teacher.
我都不配被人杀了吗 Now I'm not worth murdering.
-我为什么要撒谎 -这不是你最擅长的吗 - Why would I lie? - Isn't that your specialty?
你最拿手的呀 Your rocking tour.
用花言巧语迷惑人心 You charm people with your slick and fancy words.
而威利 威利是真的有魅力 Willy, Willy just charms them.
卧了个大槽 Oh my God.
你们单独聊吧 我还有课呢 I should leave you two alone. I've got class,
还是有人要好好努力的 some of us came here to work.
嫉妒不是犯罪 杰夫瑞 Jealousy isn't a crime, Jeffrey,
但让学校损失三十万美金就是了 but costing the school $300, 000 will be.
所以好好教课 尤其威利还看着你呢 So be a good teacher, especially when Willy's watching.
「操场果汁」就是这么来的 Which is why, they call it yard juice.
下一个问题 Next question.
你们可以自己选号吗 Do you get to pick your number?
会不会有人把头卡进栏杆里出不来了 Does anyone ever get their head stuck between the bars?
我们把那个叫做「金属耳」 We call it getting metal ears.
翁格老师 Oh, hi, Mr. Winger!
放电影之前我先给大家普及点小知识 Thought we'd sneak in a little learning for the movie.
今天不放电影了 Well, there's no movie today.
都给我在座位上坐好 So everyone roll to your seat areas.
好的 先生 Yes sir.
法律 So, law.
简而言之 Law is, simply put,
法律就是人们定下的条约 an agreement we all make
最大程度地使彼此不会相互妨碍 to do our best to stay out of each others way.
有没有更严格的定义 翁格老师 Is there a more technical definition, Mr. Winger?
我不知道 威利 Well, I wouldn't know, Willy.
我可不喜欢书上那些文绉绉的话 I don't cotton much to fancy words and book study.
我走到今天这步 靠的可不是那些 It's not how I got to where I am.
那你是怎么走到今天这步的 翁格老师 How did you get to be where you are, Mr. Winger?
你是哪里人 Where were you born?
翁格老师我生于渣滓 威利 Mr. Winger was born in dirt, Willy.
我相信你也是 Same as you, I'm sure.
我的脸曾被渣滓之王按在渣滓里 And I had my face held down in that dirt by the kings of dirt.
现在他们仍在统领着渣滓 And now, they're still there, ruling over dirt,
而我已经升华了 and I got out.
靠巧舌如簧 欺蒙拐骗 By talking, by lying.
你怕是还没注意到 当恶棍的感觉很棒的 Well, in case you hadn't noticed, it seems to beat being a bully.
加瑞 Garrett?
翁格老师 你能不能不搞笑了 Mr. Winger when did you stop being funny?
是不是啊 I mean, am I wrong?
还是他是玩真的呢 Or is he really intense here?
就因为他是个凶恶罪犯 人人都被他迷住了 Everyone's so charmed by him because he's a violent criminal.
而且他还是个小心眼的反社会 But he's also a petty sociopath,
可我越想证明 就越显得我小心眼 and the more I try to point that out, the pettier I look.
这个项目是你推举的 You the one who championed this program
如果不想被自己的「袍」绞死 shouldn't have worn that petard
原意是「被自己的炮炸到」
一开始就不该穿 if you didn't wanna be hoisted by it.
在你的理解中 What do you think the expression
这句话里的「袍」是什么东西 hoisted by your own petard is referencing?
我觉得吧 I guess I just assumed that
「袍」应该是古时候的一种特殊服饰 in the old days a patard was a special outfit
跟紧身裤似的 上面有各种扣啊 环啊的 like a leatard, with a lot of fancy buckles and loops on it,
有钱人会在洋洋得意的时候 and that rich people would wear them
穿上这种衣服 when they were feeling especially smug.
于是穷人就会在那些环上系上绳 But then poor people could tie a rope to one of the loops,
把富人吊在杆子上 and hoist them up a pole
直到吊死 作为自大的惩罚 and then let them dangle there as punishment for being cocky.
千万别查字典 Never look it up,
你的解释绝了 your explanation is way better,
不过下一次有朋友找你诉苦的时候 but also the next time a friend comes by with their problems,
别一副「我早说过」的嘚瑟样 maybe lay off the I told you sos.
杰夫 这是我布雷塔的派对 Jeff, we're having a Britta party here,
你能不能别这么扫兴 could you be a little bit less of a buzz kill?
很好 That was great.
尽情享乐吧 直至醉生梦死 Now party like there's no tomorrow.
什么 What?
醉生梦死 There's no tomorrow.
嗨出那种感觉 Party like it.
好了 Okay.
现在到后面去当人肉背景吧 Why don't you just do some business in the background for now?
好啊大伙儿 Hi, everybody.
我们不是来破坏你们的派对的 Don't worry we're not here to bust up your party,
我认识你们大多数人都快30年了 I know most of you are like 30.
我们来是因为弗兰·达特有好消息要宣布 We're here because Frankie Dart has exciting news.
大家在这个犯人教育项目上 You have all been very cooperative
都非常配合 with this inmate education program.
惩治局对此非常满意 The Department of Corrections is very, very happy.
这也意味着 格林德尔要变土豪了 Which means, Greendale is gonna be rich.
还有一个秘密 Don't tell anybody,
我们悄悄带来几位特殊的朋友 but we smuggled in a few guests
和我们一起庆祝 to the party to celebrate with us.
是不是有人越狱了啊 Did someone order a prison break?
好多罪犯混进来了哦 Plenty of convicts to go around.
好哦 Hey, okay!
拿好了 那好了 Hold on, hold on, hold on!
带他去舞池 Take him to the dance floor.
干杯 Cheers.
带他四处看看 Pass him around.
是威利 把他传过去 Pass, that's Willy, pass him, yeah!
传过来 把威利给我 Pass Willy, pass me Willy.
来吧 威利 You go Willy.
继续继续 Keep doing that.
不要停 Keep doing that.
再跳得劲爆一点 Try dancing harder.
就只能这样了吗 Is that as hard as you can dance?
这可是派对 你在庆祝 You're at a party. You're celebrating.
阿布蒂 现在是凌晨六点 Abed, it's six in the morning.
好的 谢谢 Okay. Thanks.
还没拍够吗 Do you think you've gotten enough shots?
至今还没人能演绎出醉生梦死的感觉 Nobody's partied like there's no tomorrow yet.
跳得都跟活得好好的似的 They keep dancing like it's today.
这就可以了 That's okay.
开什么玩笑 Are you joking?
我可是为了这个才同意拍摄的 This is the reason I signed on to this film,
我认为这是表演层面的问题 I think it's a performance issue.
我认为这需要真正的演员 I think this needed some real actors.
我明白了 Well, lesson learned.
好吧 Yeah.
行了 从头开始 Okay. From the top!
开拍 And action!
啥 What?
这都什么人啊 Who are these people?
开始 开始 Go, go, go!
很好 院长 Good, Dean.
很好 弗朗辛 Good, Francine.
派对 Party.
醉生梦死的派对 大家跳起来 Party, no tomorrow guys, come on.
翁格老师 今天的课我是这么想的 Hey Mr. Winger, you know I was thinking for class today,
也许你可以...怎么回事 maybe you could... Hey, what's going on?
小心点 放我下来 Hey, careful now, put me down!
好了 威利 Well, Willy.
看看我 Look at me!
我也是杀人犯了 I'm a murderer!
现在我是不是和你一样酷了 Can I be as cool as you now?
威利 Willy?
不不不 不不不 No, no, no, no, no, no.
威利 和我说说话 Willy, talk to me!
说话啊 Talk to me!
我什么都看不到了 I can't see anything.
威利 威利 Willy. Willy.
仔细听我的声音 Focus on my voice.
我听不到你了 Hey I, I, I'm losing you.
你不会失去我的 You're not losing me!
你会去一个信号更好的地方 You are going to a better place with a stronger signal!
威利 Willy?
出什么事了 What's going on here?
他惹的我 He started it.
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey.
你被停职了 You are on sabbatical.
你不能这么做 You can't do that.
我当然可以 Yes, I can.
两周的保薪停职 Two weeks paid sabbatical!
带他走 Get him out of here.
不许再踏入校园 He's banned from the campus.
你被停职了 You are on sabbatical!
你被停职了 先生 You're on sabbatical, sir.
知道了 我会走 带着我的尊严走 Yeah, I'll go on my own with dignity.
而你的已经遗失殆尽了 Something you should look up.
什么尊严不尊严 你毁了我的平板 I can't look it up, you destroyed my device!
连同我的心 And my heart!
你损坏了他的平板和心 先生 You destroyed his device and his heart, sir.
行了 我走 Yeah, I'm going.
威利 威利 Willy, Willy.
抱歉我迟到了 我的房车很难找停车位 Oh, sorry I'm late, I had to find a parking spot for my house.
住在车里一定很赞吧 Oh, must be so cool living in a vehicle.
等等 那你大号怎么办 Wait, where's your poop go?
有便盆啊 A tank.
恶心 Gross.
找个房子吧 Get a house.
本 你不也没地方住吗 Ben, aren't you homeless?
对 但我可是在屋子里解决的 Yeah, but I poop in a house.
谁的房子 Whose?
想得美 Nice try.
安妮 Annie.
布雷塔 Britta.
电影怎么样了 How's your movie coming?
棒极了 Amazing.
阿布蒂是天才 Abed's a genius.
其实现在他在苦恼什么内容该被剪辑掉 He's actually having a hard time deciding what to cut,
所以现在准备搞成上下两集 so it's going to be in two volumes.
虽然没办法睡觉 但值了 And it's hard to sleep, but it's worth it,
因为这是一部关于派对的电影 because it's a movie about a party.
要不要本姑娘帮忙啊 Would you like my help?
要 Yes.
有没有学到教训呢 Have you learned anything?
绝不质疑规矩 规矩很好很强大 Don't question rules. Rules are good,
我是坏孩子 安妮万岁 I'm bad, all hail Annie.
谢谢 Thank you.
厉害啊 Damn.
您老总算肯现身了 Oh, nice of you to show up.
我们可是为了你才来的 We moved here for you.
我又没请你们来 I didn't ask for this,
继续在学校里开会呀 不用带我 爷不在乎 have your meeting at school without me. I don't care.
院长要用学习室开就职仪式 Dean's using the study room for the ceremony.
啥 仪式 Wha, the, ceremony?
你不知道吗 You don't know?
院长要请那个杀人犯当教授呢 The Dean's making that convict he murdered into a professor.
什么 What?
你这么在乎做什么 Why do you care?
因为院长这么做只是为了证明某些事而已 Because the Dean is just doing this to prove something,
这样真的好傻 and it's really stupid.
那个家伙很危险 院长被他操纵了 The guy's dangerous and he's manipulating him.
这不是你经常干的事儿么 Isn't that what you usually do?
不是 我是说 对 但那不一样 No, I mean, yes, but not like that.
我会为一己私利欺骗院长 I lied to the Dean for personal gain.
但我不会利用他的感情 I wouldn't use him emotionally.
我不会误导他 I wouldn't mislead him.
我也不会伤害他 I wouldn't hurt him.
你有想过把这些话说给院长听吗 Have you ever thought of saying that to the Dean?
杰夫 去找他吧 Jeff, go to him.
这就去找 Going to him.
等一下 这就是重点所在啊 Wait, that's the whole point.
我没办法去找他 我进不去校园 I can't go to him, I can't get on campus.
而杀人犯却可以 And yet murderers can.
我都造了什么孽 What have I done?
杀人犯可以随意进校园 Murderers can get on campus.
我需要一把扫帚 一辆遥控小汽车 I'll need a broom, a remote control car,
一部iPad 一台精心设计的 an iPad, and an elaborate
陀螺稳定式伺服电机 gyroscopically stabilized servo motor.
老哥 我们正想法儿帮杰夫呢 Dude, we're trying to help Jeff here,
你现在简直就是在捣乱 you're acting kinda spoiled right now.
派对派对派对 派对派对派对 Party, party, party, party, party, party, party, party,
派对派对派对 派对派对派对 party, party, party, party, party, party, party,
派对派对派对 派对派对派对 party, party, party, party, party, party, party.
卡 Cut!
阿布蒂 布雷塔有话要说 Abed, Britta has something to say.
我的脚本有误导性 My script is misleading.
醉生梦死派对这种事是不可能的 It's impossible to party like there's no tomorrow.
但这是基于真实故事改编的啊 But it's based on a true.
这是因为我想开个派对 It's based on my desire to have a party.
派对就是各种酒水 Parties are just booze,
灯光昏暗 音乐聒噪 low lights and loud music
这样大家可以眼不见心不烦 so people can feel more, see less,
无需倾听别人或自己的心声 and not have to listen to each other or themselves.
太傻了 That's stupid.
派对真傻 Parties are stupid.
我也很傻 你拍的就是一部很傻的电影 I'm stupid, you're shooting a stupid movie.
拍摄完毕 That's a wrap.
都走吧 拍完了 Go on, we're done here.
我会有什么下场 What's gonna happen to me?
你会遭受惩罚 You are going to punished,
以一种你完全无法理解的方式 in ways you won't understand
惩罚时间也比你认为的要长得多 for longer than you think is rational or possible.
但有那么一天 But then one day,
你会做出让他喜欢的事情 惩罚就此停止 you'll do something he likes, and he'll stop.
最后你要么适应 要么疯掉 And eventually you'll either adapt or lose your mind.
好吧 Okay.
姐俩好 Girls.
好姐俩 Girls.
闺
蜜
身为监狱长 我十分了解 As a prison warden I know all too well
所谓真正的改过自新简直是凤毛麟角 how rare stories of true rehabilitation can be,
但此时此刻这位院长和这位犯人共同站在一起 but this Dean and this prisoner stand here together today
证明了这个梦是真实存在的 to prove that the dream is real.
我是来参加就职仪式的 I'm here for the ceremony.
请问贵姓 Last name?
盖勒 囚犯编号042098 Gellar, prisoner ID 042098.
好 进去吧 Okay, go on.
你好 我是来参加就职仪式的 Hi, I'm here for the ceremony.
晚上好 先生 Have a nice night, sir.
克拉格·派尔顿院长 Dean Craig Pelton.
你是否愿意承担 Do you accept responsibility
因聘请重罪犯而导致的任何伤害 for any damage incurred by hiring a felon?
我愿意 I do.
威利·塞伯特·史密斯 Willy Seibert Smith,
你是否愿意接受宪法第十三修正案废除奴隶制 do you accept that the 13th Amendment abolished slavery
适用于所有人但罪犯除外 for everyone but convicts,
因此你的薪水只能为0.13元每时甚至更低 and that we have no choice but to pay you $0.13 per hour or less?
我愿意 I do.
那么让我们正式宣布这一象征性的结合 Then let us make official this symbolic union.
等一下 Hold it!
院长 我同意我没有理由阻止你 Dean, I agree there's no reason
将我的职位给这个家伙 you shouldn't give this guy my job.
别说了杰夫瑞 我不想听 Save it Jeffrey, I don't wanna hear it.
在我告诉你一些话之前别这么做好吗 Don't do it before I tell you some things
我一直在逃避着不想说出来的话 that I've been getting away with not saying.
来人快把这疯子拎出去 Someone get this maniac out of here.
闭嘴 威利 Quite Willy.
这事儿就按监狱的规矩来吧 Let's do this by prison rules.
想说什么就说吧 Say what you have to say.
院长 我喜欢我的工作 Dean, I like my job,
我不介意来这里工作 I don't mind coming to work here.
每当我假装讨厌这一切时就感觉好有罪恶感 I feel kind of guilty when I pretend to be sick,
而且我还一直偷拿零碎东西 and I try to steal as little as possible,
都是些基本用品 笔 咖啡滤纸 厕纸 just the basics, pens, coffee filters, toilet paper,
有一回 还偷了一台投影仪和一卷地毯 and one time an overhead projector and a roll of carpet.
但我不会哄骗你 永远也不会 But I don't lead you on, and I never will.
因为我不会顶着一张帅脸却杀人不眨眼 Because I'm not just a pretty face that murders people
还专拣你爱听的话说 and tells you what you wanna hear.
我没那么有本事 I'm less than that.
我只有一脸英俊 专治你花痴 I'm a gorgeous face, that works for you,
并拿你当朋友 and considers you a friend.
杰夫瑞 Oh, Jeffrey.
那个啥 说实话 Okay, that, now, to be fair.
你们都知道威利其实是无罪的吧 You guys know Will is an innocent man, right?
你给我闭嘴 监狱长 You shut your mouth, Warden.
真事儿啊 No, it's true.
他已提请上诉 出现了新的DNA证据 His appeal is in motion, there's new DNA evidence,
小伙子是好人 被误判了 he's a good fella, wrongfully convicted.
你不是杀人犯 You're not a murderer?
我可以解释啦 I can explain.
英雄也有仆街时啊 Oh, How The Mighty Have Fallen.
你个王八蛋 Son of a bitch!
什么 What?
等下 咱们按社区大学的规矩来吧 Wait, let's do this by community college rules.
打起来 打 打 Fight! Fight! Fight!
打打打 Fight! Fight! Fight!
揍丫 小扫帚 Go, broom.
揍 Go!
出招吧 Bring it on!
好暴力哟 It's so violent.
别像个娘们一样 Party like a girl.
你就这点本事吗 Is this what you got?
尝尝本大爷的厉害 Here's what I got.
来呀 战个痛 Come on, let's do it!
杰夫瑞 Jeffrey!
他倒下了 He's down.
现在看看是谁仆街呀 Now, who's fallen?
威利 Hey, Willy.
谢了 院长 Thanks, Dean.
院长 Dean.
别这样 Oh come on.
不要不要 No, no.
做得好 翁格老师 Way to go Mr. Winger!
干巴爹 Way to go!
各位 我不要掺和这种事啦 Everybody, I am not participating in this.
这算哪门子的鬼学校 The hell kinda school is this?
感谢响应临时通知而赶来的各位 Okay, thanks for coming on short notice.
都到齐了吧 Is everyone here?
应该吧 没有侧视摄像头很难说 Think so, it's hard to tell without side cameras.
等下 为什么我在移动 Wait, why am I moving?
能看到我的自定义背景不 Is my custom background working?
等下 我搞不定 Wait, I can't.
用WASD来移动 自从发明键盘起 It's WASD the move, it's been the same
这一操作命令就没变过 since the invention of the keyboard.
好啦 死宅 Okay, nerd.
大家都知道了 罪犯改造计划已经夭折 As you've heard, the rehabilitation program has been aborted,
资金也没了 so we lost that money,
但我们也不用建造67个坡道了 but we no longer have to build 67 ramps,
也应该能收支平衡了 so we should break-even.
大家都听到了没 Can you all hear that?
外面有个熊孩子一直拿网球砸我的房车 There's a kid outside throwing tennis balls against my RV.
我觉得我 咖啡店 公司 小偷 I think I coffee shop corporate thieves.
我们真的有必要以这种方式开会吗 Was it really necessary for us to use these things for this meeting?
我觉得我这边似乎有点问题 Yeah, I think there's something wrong with mine.
我去找个网速更快的 I'll get a better connection.
虽然并非完全有必要 It wasn't entirely necessary,
但监狱那边将这些设备打折出售 but the prison is selling these units at a discount,
为了学校我就接受了这个报价 so I thought I'd run their offer by the school.
你干嘛呢 What are you doing?
走开啦 我的坏了啦 Get out! Mine's broken.
-才不是呢 -网络连接不好 - No, it's not. - Bad connect.
现在你那边有个清洁工 There's a janitor on it right now.
太差...叫其他... Terrib...Call others...
我看布雷塔好像被逮捕了 I think Britta's being arrested.
我完全有权利在这里 I have every right to be here.
你以为...怕你...才不是 You think, scared of you, but not.
行了 受够了 All right. That's it.
你知道这些玻璃要多少钱吗 Do you know how much windows cost?
从我腿上滚下去 Get off my lap!
别跟高科技过不去嘛 Stop fighting technology.
我投支持票 I vote yes.
我们应该买 这些设备很酷 We should get these. They're cool.
我投反对票 I vote no.
人类不应该同时出现在各种地方 People shouldn't have to be everywhere at once.
有时我们也需要做自己的事 Sometimes, we need to do our own thing.
昌 你现在在哪儿 Chang, where are you?
我在做我自己的事 I'm doing my own thing.
你身后为什么会是瓷砖 Why is there tile behind you?
拜托告诉我你没有在做我以为的那种事 Please tell me you're not doing the thing, I think you're doing.
-对 -那条毛巾跟咱家浴室用的一模一样 - Yeah. - That's the same towel we have in our apartment's bathroom.
什么 昌 What? Chang?
闪人啦 I gotta go.
我的天 Oh my God.
-我也要走人了 -杰夫瑞 - Yeah, I gotta go, too. - Jeffrey.
我就当大家都同意这个报价了 I take it we're passing on their offer.
错 他们都太业余了 No. Their just amateurs.
启动覆盖协议 Initiating override protocol.
全体支持本次采购 All in favor of this purchase.
赞成 Affirmative.
很好 Very well.
阿布蒂分身 开始统治世界 Abedit's, commence with world domination.
灭绝 Eradicate.
灭绝 灭绝 灭绝 Eradicate. Eradicate. Eradicate.
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你看懂了吗 Did you get any of that?