该死 Dammit!
不是吧 埃尔罗伊 Come on. Oh, Elroy!
埃尔罗伊 Elroy, hey.
人家电脑坏了啦 Computer no worky.
求你了 别这样 Please don't do that.
人家电脑坏了啦 Computer no worky.
你是不是又忘密码了 Did you forget your password again?
派尔顿 我可不能 Pelton, I can't keep track
再帮你回顾所有你养过的小鹦鹉了 of all the parakeets you had growing up.
这次不一样 This is different.
不管我怎么弄 都提示同一个错误 No matter what I do, I get the same error.
哪个 Which one?
你已经被「精英舰队69」占领 You have been owned by Elite Fleet 69.
我们已经全面黑入你的系统中 Our hacks are all up in your systems.
我倒是不介意读啦 I'm not bothering to pronounce them,
可是里面好多发Z的音啊 but there are a lot of z's being used.
糟了 Oh, crap.
什么 What?
又有戴面罩的某侠要出电影了吗 Is there another Mask movie coming out?
学校被黑了 The school's been hacked.
什么 What?
我们怎么能阻止他们 How can we stop it?
太晚了 已经被黑了 It's too late, it's happened.
格林德尔的字典里永远没有太晚 No parlo hablo too late at Greendale Elroy.
总是有可以补救的办法 There's always something that can be done.
我本来不想说的 You know I, I wasn't gonna say anything but.
但你可以去把主机上的智硬线剪断 You could cut the hardline at the mainframe.
智硬线 Hardline.
主机 Mainframe.
去找主机 To the mainframe!
剪断智商硬伤线 Cut the hardline.
你是在讽刺我是不是 You were being sarcastic?
对 不过你过来看看 Yeah, but you should look at this.
取消冒犯的表演 Cancel your offensive performance.
你知道我们指的什么 You know the one we mean.
我们已经掌握了你们所有的资料 We have all your information.
如果还不停止可恶的喜剧表演 If you do not cancel this hateful comedy show,
将让你们尝尝我们的力量 you will taste our power in this way.
有个网址 There's a link.
别点 Don't click it.
怎么 绿骷髅还能再给我下个病毒啊 Oh, what, the green skull will give me a virus?
天啊 My God.
这是食堂大妈的邮箱 It's the lunch lady's emails.
都是食堂大妈的邮件 It's all the lunch lady's emails.
哪个食堂大妈 Which lunch lady?
火辣辣的那个 The hot one?
你是说总盛辣菜的那个 You mean the one who serves the hot food?
就是那美味 Mmm, that's the one.
■
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翻 译 邮政速递EMS·蓬蓬裙
翻 译 广电总局·别扭大菜
翻 译 文化部·夕橙
时 间 轴 工信部·姜姜
后 期 全球萝莉联盟·鱼骨头
校对/总监 宇宙组·夕橙
废柴联盟 第六季 第六集
各位你们别告诉我 Please tell me you guys
都在那读食堂大妈被黑的邮件呢 aren't sitting there reading the lunch lady's leaked e-mails.
没人能做到啦 No one here could ever do that,
换着班来都办不成 几十年的呢 not even in shifts, it's decades of data.
我读的是「格林德尔公报」上 I'm reading the Greendale
食堂大妈邮件精选集 Gazette's highlights of the lunch lady's e-mails.
我找到精选集的种子了 I found a torrent of all the highlights
你要不想看广告 if you don't want to wait for
我可以发给你 the ads to load.
阿布蒂 你这是偷窃 Abed, that's stealing.
多亏了有那些广告资助 Those ads are there so
大家才能在「格林德尔公报」上 the Gazette can pay people to
看到食堂大妈的邮件 through the lunch lady's email.
这么说不会显得太自由主义吧 Not to get too liberal, but once they're online,
可一旦被发到网上 不是大家都可以看嘛 does anyone really own the lunch lady's emails?
所以互联网的未来就是打造品牌内容 That's why the future of the internet is branded content.
WazzleDazzle.Com上面有 WazzleDazzle.Com has got
受食堂大妈最不想说的秘密启发 five Bacardi cocktails inspired by
制成五款新百家地鸡尾酒 the lunch lady's most embarrassing secrets.
你们在侵犯她的隐私 You guys are violating her privacy.
应该说是媒体在侵犯 布雷塔 I'm pretty sure the media's doing that, Britta.
我们只是在看新闻 We're just reading the news.
警察来了 查查我们电脑因何被黑 The police are here about our computers being hacked.
你们好 Hi, guys.
看到了几张熟脸 I see a few familiar faces here.
还有几张新面孔 A few new ones, as well.
都见过五年的警察了 No, just gonna keep the cop you've known
你们还跟我这么保持距离 for for five years at arms length?
我懂了 I get it.
你们这些小伙子们都查到什么了 What have you boys been able to figure out?
别叫我们小伙子们 Don't call us boys.
由于案件特殊 And it's a unique case,
很难判定到底有没有触犯法律 because it's hard to decide what laws are being broken.
但把食堂大妈性生活算上的话 罪大恶极了 Unless you count the lunch lady's sex life.
谢谢捧场 Thanks, thanks a lot.
总之我们市里确实有成立网络犯罪小组 Anyway, our city does have a cyber-crime division,
但毕竟还很年轻 but it's well, it's pretty new.
有线索吗 Any leads?
沃伯顿警官 Officer Warburton.
我想吃麦当劳 I want McDonald's.
想吃 Wants.
麦当劳 McDonald's.
你们有人坐这可能看不清 Some of you probably can't see from where you're sitting.
那确实是个穿大人制服的孩子 It's literally a child in an adult sized police uniform.
很可爱 可是帮不上什么忙 It's cute, but it doesn't help our situation.
对我们有什么要求 So what do we make of the demands?
我们确实查到了点东西 Well we were able to find out a little more.
这条网上的信息注明了是黑客发的 This message was posted online and signed, The Hackers.
所以我们认定它为合法的 And we assume it's legit because well,
因为我们当前也就能查它了 that's just where we're at.
格林德尔 取消恐怖分子的表演吧 Greendale, cancel the performance of the terrorist comedian
古普塔·古普提·古普塔 Gupta Gupty Gupta, who seeks
一直用他充满敌意的闹剧传播负能量 to spread hatred with his hateful comedy.
你们订了古普塔·古普提·古普塔的表演 You guys booked Gupta Gupty Gupta?
七百块 $700.
天啊 院长 他种族歧视是出了名的 Oh my God Dean, he's renowned for his racist act.
他怎么可能种族歧视 How can he be racist?
你听他都叫什么名了 Listen to his name.
信息上说 Well, the message says
如果你们不取消他的表演 if you don't cancel his performance,
食堂大妈的惨剧 what happened to the lunch lady's gonna happen to
将上演在你们所有人身上 everyone on the activities committee.
我们又没有... We don't have a-.
天啊 说的是我们 Oh God, that's us.
我们怎么办 So, what do we do?
那取决于学校了 That's up to the school.
虽然我只是个警察 出生在小城镇 Though I'm just a cop, born in a small town,
长在市中心 raised in the heartland,
不过要我说 取消演出吧 but I say cancel the performance,
给政府清除的权利 and give the government the sweeping powers
要在人民变成黑客之前 it needs to detect and eliminate people
找到并消除他们 before they turn into hackers.
我的意见就是如此了 Think that's all I've got.
除了这个 大家都还好吧 How's everything otherwise?
复仇者联盟的消息振奋吧 复联 复联 Stoked for avengers, avengers, avengers, avengers?
我听说漫威这次真是自己上了 I hear Marvel got really hands on this time,
完全把乔斯·惠登的创造力限制了 they really pinned in Joss Whedon creatively,
肯定不会出错了 so how can that go wrong?
好了 回见 Okay, see ya.
看来我要召开个新闻发布会 I guess I'm gonna call a press conference
宣布取消那个喜剧表演了 and announce the comedy is cancelled.
等等 Wait hold on.
什么意思 What's that?
发挥你特长 鼓励大家 Do your thing, inspire them.
什么特长 To do what?
要从容应对 To rise to the occasion.
不能被黑客牵着鼻子走 To not let these hackers push us around.
大家不觉得我们应该承担起这责任吗 Don't you guys think that we have an obligation here?
警察说不用 The cop says no.
警察还说 Well the cops say
你的行李箱跟911还有关系呢 that your car trunk has something to do with 9/11.
他们又不是圣人 不过是带着枪的交警 They're not philosophers, they're crossing guards with guns.
这是我们要以联盟精神应对的 This is on us as a committee.
世界人民的眼睛 The eyes of the world-.
都离这屋几百里远 Are within hundreds of miles of this room.
那宇宙的眼睛呢 Okay, how about the eyes of something bigger?
你不是无神论者吗 Aren't you an atheist?
你不是恨政府吗 Don't you hate this government?
你准备看这个喜剧吗 Are you even planning on going to see this comic?
是的 差不多 当然不会 Yes, pretty much and of course not,
我本来准备抗议他的 I was planning to protest him.
没想到这话居然轮到我来说了 But I can't believe I'm the one saying this.
老天啊 我们可是美国人啊 For god sakes, we're freaking Americans.
我们说的言论自由 We're talking about freedom of speech,
重要到在宪法修正的时候 it's the amendment so important
第一条就加的它 it's literally the first one they remembered to add.
为了白人 For white people.
还是「带把儿」的 With penises.
应该称呼他们为无色无阴道人种 We prefer to be called people without color or vaginas.
听着有些事确实太简单 Look, I know some things have gotten too simple
而另一些事却太复杂 and other things have gotten too complicated,
但我们在这国家里还是有遗产可继承 but we still have a legacy
有工作可以干的 and a job in this country.
我们是英国人搞不定的移民 We're the colony so high maintenance the British gave up.
我们把法国烦到送了雕像 We're so obnoxious the French sent us a statue.
没人能让我们闭嘴 Nobody tells us to shut up.
没错 我知道我们的财富 And yes, I know that
已经不再贡献给别人 our wealth is no longer distributed,
也没错 我们的民主 and yes, our democracy has been
现在已经被垄断企业操控下的 hijacked and turned into a puppet show about two fake parties
两个假党派变成了木偶剧了 that are controlled by a cartel of monopolies,
没错 如果我们的选举真有力量 and yes, if our votes had any real power
他们早就不合法了 they'd be illegal.
布雷塔 言论自由已经普及了 Britta! Freedom of speech acknowledged.
相信我们 Trust us.
取消喜剧就是取消人民 Cancel the show and you cancel people.
也许会让恐龙回归地球 Might as well bring dinosaurs back.
等等 让她说完 What? Let her finish.
布雷塔 你看到他们对食堂大妈干的事了 Britta, you saw what they did to the lunch lady.
你想猜猜我的邮件有多精彩吗 You wanna guess how much better my emails are?
你真想让我召开个媒体发布会 You want me to call a press conference
然后说 干我吧 and say, now do me?
不 我来 No, I'll do it.
让他们黑我吧 Let them leak me.
我不会让你孤军奋战的 I'm not letting you do this alone.
去他的 Screw it.
算我一个 I'm in.
肯定有人是最后一个站起来的 Someone has to be the last to stand up,
现在我肯定不是最后一个 and now that someone isn't me.
我刚刚有点走神 I kinda zoned out
我们站起来是要去看「复仇者联盟」吗 and assume we're standing to go see Avengers.
这些人给黑客抹黑了 These guys are giving hackers a bad name.
黑客这名本来就够黑了 And hacker is already such a dumb name.
我不是理想主义者 我是实用主义者 I'm not an idealist, I'm a pragmatist.
惹你们生气是一点好处都没有的 And it's never pragmatic to piss you guys off.
那好吧 So, fine.
大伙 You guys.
太激励人心了 This is so inspiring.
那就有什么进度通知我吧 I guess, just let me know how it goes.
无论如何 我都跟你们在一起 No matter what happens I'm with you,
但别跟别人说我跟你们一起 but don't tell anyone I'm with you.
你们说了 我也会否认的 If you do, I'll deny it,
但我现在就跟你们在一起 but I'm with you here and now.
不是真的现在 现在我要走了 Not literally here and now, right now I'm leaving,
但我会永远悄悄地跟你们在一起 but I will always have been with you secretly.
再见 Bye.
古普塔·古普提·古普塔的演出 The performance by Gupta Gupty Gupta
明晚将如期上演 will go on as scheduled tomorrow night,
并且我们鼓励所有相信自由的人 and we encourage anyone who believes in freedom
都来看古普塔先生的表演 to attend Mr. Gupta's performance.
但作为一个有很多 Although, as a woman,
犹太和黑人朋友的女人 and someone with many Jewish and black friends,
肯定会被深深地冒犯到 I will be deeply offended.
我请求所有美国的校园 I'm petitioning to have Mr.Gupta
都禁止古普塔先生去演出 banned from all campuses across America.
但事情一件一件解决 But, one thing at a time.
首先是言论自由 First, freedom of speech
不仅仅适用于你想听到的言论上 does not just apply to speech you want to hear.
活生生的例子 是不是 Case in point, am I right?
拍我这边脸好看 这里 Definitely get my good side, right here.
我被打码了 Oh, I'm being censored!
我被打码了 I'm being censored!
转角处放置了咖啡和威士忌 Anyway, there's coffee and scotch in the corner.
去他的黑客 格林德尔万岁 Screw the hackers and long live Greendale!
好了 那我们明天试音的时候 All right, I'll see you guys at sound check
食堂再见咯 in the cafeteria tomorrow.
我们现在都可能是黑客的目标了 And there is a good chance that we are going to be targeted,
今晚大家都不要上网了 so nobody gets on the internet tonight.
怎么样 What do we say?
不管什么料 坚决不看 No peeking at the leaking.
保证 保证 保证 Promise, promise, promise?
好了 Okay.
杰夫 Jeff.
谢谢你小小地支持了我一下 Thank you for backing me up, a little.
是你这次没有大题小做 Well, you turned into the path of least resistance.
随你怎么否认 Deflect all you want,
这次你是真的冒了大风险了 but you're putting your ass on the line for an ideal.
只能算是一点点小风险吧 Well, maybe a fraction of a butt cheek on the line.
除了让人订阅小黄片 发送演出信息 It's not like I used that stupid Greendale email for anything
那个蠢不拉叽的校园邮箱还有什么用 but porn subscriptions and improv show mailing lists.
谁说只有格林德尔的邮箱 What makes you think it's only your Greendale email
被黑了 they'll be leaking?
因为黑客黑的是格林德尔 Because they hacked Greendale.
你办公室有电脑吗 Do you have a computer in your office?
有 Yes.
你在那台电脑上查收过邮件吗 Do you check your emails on that computer?
你浏览过咪咪图片吗 You look at boobies on it?
就一次 One time.
他们会知道的 They got it.
他们什么都知道 They got everything.
美国在越战期间曾对国内外籍及反战人士进行监控
一夜回到越战时 亲爱的 It's Vietnam now, baby.
一夜回到越战时 It's Vietnam!
不管怎么说 谢谢了 Anyways, like I said, thanks.
最新美剧下载 www.ZiMuZu.tv
好啊 Hello.
姑娘们 Girls.
-弗兰 -弗兰西丝卡 - Frankie. - Francesca.
整个学校都传遍了 咱们的邮箱都被黑了 Word around school is our emails have been leaked.
是吗 Is that so?
你没听说吗 Oh, the first you've heard of it?
我听到了点风声 I guess I heard some rumblings.
风声啊 Hm, rumblings.
好啊 杰夫 Hello, Jeff.
杰夫·翁格 Jeff Winger.
安妮 Annie.
布雷塔 Britta.
弗兰 Frankie.
听说黑客黑了我们的邮件 I hear the hackers leaked our emails.
-是 -确有此事 - Yeah. - Something like that.
是不是要开始摆凳子了 Should we help set up chairs?
当然 Sure.
那把椅子坏了 Something was wrong with that one.
坏椅子 Bad chair.
大伙儿还好吗 Hi, how's everybody doing?
这问题很蠢是吧 I asked a damn question.
挺好 Fine.
新衣服 New look.
你喜欢 我开心 I'm glad you like it.
我不希望自己的装扮 I'd hate to think my wardrobe
在你们中间显得不合群 wasn't passing muster with this group.
所以我换上了崭新的T恤 So here I am in a brand new outfit
日期都是最新的 with an up-to-the-minute shirt.
很好 Okay.
我不擅长猜哑谜 所以我得问一句 I'm not usually the best at non-verbal cues, so I have to ask,
是不是这里只有我一个 is it possible that everyone here but me
没有看过所有人被黑出去的邮件 read all of each other's leaked emails?
-不 -当然不是 - No. - Absolutely not.
可能吧 It's possible.
我全看了 I read it all.
你们写的那堆垃圾 I read all your crap.
你们写我的每一个字 I have read everything you guys
我都看过了 have ever wrote about me in an email.
你们真是这世上最可怕的一群人 And you guys are the worst people in the world.
去你妹的 Screw you guys.
不酷 Not cool.
卑鄙 恶毒 无耻 Mean, mean, mean.
-敢指我 我就给你咬下来 -啥 - Point it at me and I will eat it! - What?
我会咬下你的指头 嚼烂了吞肚里 I will bite your little finger off and I will eat it!
呵呵 看你怎么再打出一个 Then, let's see you type
嘲笑我流浪汉辛巴达式衣柜的字眼 more descriptions of my Houseguest-era Sinbad wardrobe.
这跟我写的吐槽他的邮件内容一字不差 That's a direct quote from a really mean email I wrote about him.
现在谁是坏人啊 So now who's the bad guy?
好吧 关于黑出去的邮件你们究竟看了多少 Okay. How much of the leak did each of you read?
我有权融入你们 I have a right to fit in!
好了 打住打住 Okay, stop it! Stop it!
不如我们都承认... Why don't we all just admit that we...
我不承认 I'm not admitting it.
-安妮 别倔了 -得了吧 - Oh, Annie, get over it. - Come on.
你们拿我的血样去做毒品检测了 You had my blood tested for amphetamines?
你去年春天神经兮兮的 You were extra jumpy last spring.
我们不得不小心谨慎 We had to double check to be safe.
我还没神经到需要我的朋友们偷我的血样吧 I don't think I'm jumpy enough if my friends can steal my blood.
是你自己给我们的 Oh, you gave it to us.
我是给人类基因组计划的 For that human genome project?
那个项目只需要一半的血样 We only used half of it for that.
对了 你有1%的穴居人血统 By the way, you're one percent Neanderthal.
你凭什么对别人指手画脚 舔开关的 How can you judge anyone, light switch licker?
这样吗 Like this, ew.
听听这声音 You guys hear that sound?
那是黑客庆功的声音 That is the sound of the hackers winning.
整个学校都在看着我们 Our school's out there right now,
审视着我们的阴暗面 pawing through our dirty laundry,
嘲笑着我们 等着看我们会怎么做 laughing at us, waiting to see what we're gonna do,
等着看谁会在这场战役中取得胜利 waiting to see who wins in the battle
是恐怖分子 还是气定神闲者 between terror and cool.
我们要冷静 伙计们 We got to be cool, man.
要冷静 We got to be cool.
准备表演 And set up for a show.
阿布蒂 你能去试试音响吗 Abed, if you wouldn't mind please checking the sound system.
好的 No problem.
现在你不用忙着告诉你女朋友 Unless you're too busy telling your girlfriend
我没看懂「死亡幻觉」了 I don't understand Donnie Darko.
-安妮 -我很冷静 - Annie. - I'm cool.
我去弄个卖票台 I'll set up the box office.
这样会不会对你们关于我性取向的赌注 Oh, or will me opening a box office unfairly influence wagers
产生什么不良偏差呢 in your betting pool about my sexual preference?
我们就知道你会生气 非常抱歉 We saw this one coming, and we are so sorry.
得了吧 Oh, that cuts it.
「抱歉」二字将我内心的火山推至了爆发边缘 The word sorry fills that crater right to the brim, yeah.
炸了 Oh, boo hoo.
你的朋友不过是对你的夜生活感到好奇 Your friends are curious about your night life.
我们就在这个圈子里说说 We kept it among friends.
而你却对人力部说我是个功能性酒鬼 You told human resources I was a functional alcoholic.
对每一位教师做评估报告是我的工作 I am required to file a report on every teacher,
你再对我大吼大叫 你的报告我就要重写了 and if you throw another tantrum I will revise yours.
写什么 没杀死人的凶手 To what? Non-lethal murderer?
扔不动标枪的运动员 Armless javelin thrower?
在你这残缺不全 火星文堆积 What in your unqualified, buzzword-bloated,
迂腐陈旧的小脑袋里 little red school house of a brain
「功能性酒鬼」到底是几个意思啊 is a functional alcoholic?
那你的「无色唇膏式的拉拉」又是几个意思 What in your brain is a chapstick lesbian?
那可值三百块钱呢 To me, 300 bucks.
除非你能证明你不是 Unless you care to refute it.
我的性取向与工作和你们所有人毫无关系 My sexuality is of zero concern to my job and to everyone here.
我保证 要是你们这群人被困在 I swear, if you people were trapped on
一个满是老虎 没有食物和水源的小岛上 a tiger-infested island with no food or water,
你们也会对每一艘前来搭救的船只说三道四 you would judge every ship that came to save you.
都没有食物和水源了 老虎怎么活下来的 How does the tigers survive without food or water?
一点都不萌 安妮 Oh, it's not cute, Annie.
你也参与下注了 And I read your entry in the pool.
你是想赢钱呢 还是纯粹为了恶心人 Was your goal to win or just be disgusting?
他们非让我选一个 I had to pick last.
我们也看了你写的关于我们每个人的邮件 Yeah, well, we all read about ourselves in your weirdly long,
给你姐姐的 又臭又长 情节夸张 melodramatic emails to your sister,
你也注意到了吧 她从没回你 who you might notice never responds.
知道不 Take a hint.
她去世了 She's dead.
我假装写给她 就像在记日记一样 I pretend to write her emails as a journaling device.
你这个狠毒 懦弱的小恶魔 You wretched, evasive little gremlin.
好了 发泄得差不多了 Okay, why don't we just call that rock bottom.
喂 喂 一二 Check one, check two.
一二 喂喂 Check one, check two.
好了好了 看样子 Well, well, well, it looks like
杰夫·翁格已经自动缴纳了车保 Jeff Winger auto-paid his car insurance
安妮明晚要参加读书会 and Annie's book club has a meeting tomorrow.
你们的黑料都哪儿找的 Where do you guys find the bad stuff?
也许我们需要做的 Maybe, maybe what we all
是这里的每一个人 need to do here is have everyone in the room
都说一件已经爆出来的黑料 address and own one thing that they know is out there.
无需指责 无需羞愧 No blame, no shame.
只做解释 Just an explanation.
我先来 I'll start.
我肯定 你们现在都看过了 Now, I'm sure by now, you've all seen the emails
我和维吉尼亚州赫恩登市帕特森一家的邮件 between me and the Patterson family of Herndon, Virginia.
-我没看过 -没看过 - Not me. - No.
他们通过家族连环信给我发了第一封邮件 I received their first letter as part of a family email chain,
那是07年的圣诞 Christmas of 2007.
这不需要跟我们解释啊 I don't think you owe us.
但我不知道他们为什么写给我 Although, I, I didn't understand why they'd written me.
我出于礼貌给他们回了信 I responded politely.
后来我意识到 他们是错把我当成了某表亲 When I realized they had somehow mistaken me for their cousin.
不知怎的 也许是因为寂寞 For some reason, I suppose it was loneliness,
我没有告诉他们 他们弄错了 I simply failed to disabuse them of that notion.
这... Well, that's-.
我也渐渐爱上了巴布 乔治 I've come to love Barb and George,
吉尔森 罗塞尔 and Gelson and Roselle.
甚至还有浑身上下都是毛病的保罗叔叔 And even Uncle Paul with all his flaws.
尽管这段关系出于谎言 And even though our relationship is based on a lie,
但对于我来说 for me it's...
它却无比真实 one of the realest, I'll ever know.
你不会以为解释了这段 I hope you don't think by explaining that,
我们就不追究你擅自把我们的形象 you're off the hook for the 3D models you've been making
做成3D模型的事了吧 of our bodies without our permission.
你要照片就是为了做模型吗 That's what those photos were for?
我在创作一款女子时空穿越的游戏 I'm making a game about lady time travelers.
在你的裤子里穿越吗 Where in your pants?
太瘆人了 埃尔罗伊 That's pretty creepy, Elroy.
你们就是好人啊 Oh, you guys are so suave.
你们就绅士啦 You're such gentlemen.
你和昌每天都发邮件 You and Chang have a daily email chain
给安妮和布雷塔打分 ranking Annie and britta one and two.
其实是 By which you mean,
是昌每天发邮件给我 我一次都没回过 Chang emails me rankings every day and I don't respond.
除了2013年2月7日那天 Except for February 7th, 2013.
昌说 今天布雷塔第一 安妮第二 Chang, Britta is one, Annie is two.
杰夫说 没错 Jeff, ha, yeah.
杰夫 恶心 Jeff, gross.
布雷塔 你记自己赢的那天 And Britta, way to instantly memorize
记得挺熟啊 the exact date of your big victory.
姑娘们 你们包揽前两名 没有输家 Hey, silver and gold, ladies, ain't no losers there.
好了 我觉得我们扯太远了 Okay, I think we're losing sight of what's important.
是谁为了八十块把亲爹告上庭了啊 Says the woman suing her father for $80.
是谁假装别人家人啊 Tell it to your fake family.
你有没有用吉赛尔做模型啊 Have you made any creepy boob models of Jezel yet?
吉赛尔就像我的女儿一样 Jezel is like a daughter to me.
人家有亲生父母的吧 But arguably more like a daughter to her parents.
你自己没有家人吗 Didn't you have your own family?
给你的宇航员写信去吧 Oh, go write an astronaut.
大家看杰夫的邮件了吗 Oh, did anyone see Jeff's letters?
他还给宇航员写信呢 He writes to astronauts.
谁猥琐啊 Talk about creepy.
他们都是国家英雄 They're national heroes!
没错 Yes, they are!
别烦人家 Leave them alone.
我最喜闻乐见这种事了 Ooh, this I gotta see.
你知道我最不「喜闻乐见」的是什么吗 You know, what I don't want to see?
咱俩约会时 你整天跟你的人生导师 Your exchanges with your life coach
交流学习小组的各种八卦 about the study group when we were dating.
顺便说一下 准确地说不是什么人生导师 Oh, and by the way, clearly, not a life coach, and absolutely,
而是你在药房认识的一个意大利反社会分子 just an Italian sociopath you met at a dispensary.
你俩约会了 You two dated?
这是个学习小组 This was a study group?
对 昌是我们的老师呢 Yeah, Chang was our teacher.
什么 What?
没错 坦白说尚未被充分利用呢 That's right, and Frankly, haven't been well utilized since.
亲爱的里德·怀斯曼[宇航员] Dear Reid Wiseman,
恭喜你成功地重返地球 congratulations on your successful return to Earth-.
女士们 Ladies.
电子游戏 Video games.
-你需要更多指导建议码 -亲爱的新乐团 - Do you have any more advice? - Dear new ensemble,
我爱你胜过亲爹 I love you more than my dad.
大家 Guys.
怎样 What!
这位是古普塔·古普提·古普塔 This is Gupta Gupty Gupta.
你好啊 Yeah, hi.
我也好 随便了 Fine, whatever.
恭喜 Congratulations.
大家还好吧 You guys okay?
我跟你说实话吧 To tell you the truth,
古普塔·古普提 我们正在闹点小矛盾 Gupta Gupty, we've been through a bit of a rough patch.
哦 院长也跟我说了 Yeah, the dean was telling me about it
我也一直有在关注 and I've been reading about it.
希望你看得愉快 Hope you were entertained.
说真的 我真的很感激 To be honest, I'm really grateful.
这是六个月来你们是第一个 This is the first school in six months
没有取消演出的学校 所以谢谢了 that hasn't canceled, so thanks.
我去做准备了 I'm gonna go get ready.
我们确实是做对了 是吧 We really did the right thing didn't we?
对 Yeah.
我们看到了什么黑料根本不重要 It doesn't matter what we read in the leaks
我们今晚对彼此说的话也完全不用在乎 or what we said to each other tonight.
重要的是此时此刻在这个校园中 What matters is that right now here on this campus,
当家做主的是人民 the people are in charge.
而不是黑客 Not the hackers.
不是媒体 不是警察 是人民大众 Not the media, not the cops, the people.
阿布蒂 去放点音乐 Abed, go put on some music.
埃尔罗伊 杰夫 再多摆些椅子 Elroy, Jeff, put out some more chairs.
安妮 准备介绍明星入场 Annie get ready to introduce our star.
昌 去角落自言自语 Chang, go talk to yourself in the corner.
弗兰 放观众进来 Frankie, let the people in.
BGM：Daybreak by Michael Haggins
-你好 尼尔 -你好 - Hey, Neil. - Hey.
全场观众就这一个货 That's the whole audience?
我... I-.
就一个观众怎么表演 I can't do a show for one person.
你必须这样做 Well, you kinda have to.
我宁可不要 But I'd rather not.
你必须演 混球 Well, you have to, jackass,
因为现在的情况比你想要做的事情更紧急 because there's more at stake here than what you'd rather do.
天哪 Oh, God.
黑客又来新信息了 There's a new message from the hackers.
所有人都安静一下 Everyone, quiet down!
阿布蒂 把音乐关了 Abed, cut the music.
格林德尔的人 People of Greendale,
你们的活动委员会违抗了我们的要求 your activities committee has defied our demands,
那个讨厌的种族主义喜剧演员仍要继续演出 and the horrible racist comedian is still about to perform.
没错 我们打败你们了 Yeah, that's right. We beat you.
如果这场演出如期举办 If this performance goes on as scheduled,
你们的所有信息都会被公之于众 all of your information will be published.
如果你们不想这样 If you do not want this to happen,
就想办法阻止这场演出 you will find a way to stop this performance.
住手 喂 Whoa! Stop, stop, hey!
给我坐下 尼尔 Sit down, Neil!
你们可以阻止我 You can stop me,
但你们无法阻止前来阻止演出的广大人民 but you can't stop the people from stopping this show.
你们听到了吗 You hear that?
我的上帝啊 My God!
是来阻止演出的人 It's the people coming to stop the show.
现在要怎么办 Now what do we do?
我们必须阻止那些人 We have to stop the people.
他们的言论自由就指着这个了 Their freedom of speech depends on it.
弗兰 昌 去顶住门 Frankie, Chang, bar the doors.
安妮 介绍他上场 赶紧 Annie, introduce him, quick!
我不想演了 I don't wanna do this.
听好了 你个废柴 我们拼死支持着你 Listen, you piece of crap, we've been to hell and back for you.
为了自由赶紧上台 做你那个白痴演出 Get up there and do your stupid act for freedom.
好啦 好啦 Okay, okay.
女士们 先生们 Ladies and gentlemen,
他曾在各大高校和俱乐部演出过 he's performed at colleges and clubs all over.
古普塔·古普提·古普塔 Gupta Gupty Gupta!
大家好 Hey, y'all.
我发现观众席里有很多犹太人 Look, I see there's a lot of Jews in the crowd.
我是说 其实并没有 I mean, you know, there isn't,
但平时我演出时 会有很多犹太人的 but usually when I do my act, there's more.
话说 我有一堆关于犹太人的吐槽 But, you know, I have a whole Jew thing.
快演 Do it!
好吧 好吧 Okay, okay.
这家伙是谁啊 Who is this guy?
快停止演出 Stop performing!
不许停止演出 Do not stop performing!
好吧 这家伙 Okay, this guy.
瞧瞧他 貌似他吃太多哦 Look at him. It looks like he ate so much.
他真是肥死了 He's very fat.
不许这么说我 Don't do this to me.
闭嘴好好听 Shut up and listen.
我看到你很肥 I see that you're fat,
那如果同时还是黑人或犹太人呢 but are you also black or Jewish?
要知道如果你是黑人或犹太人 会很难变肥 You know, it's hard to be fat when you're black or Jewish
因为如果你是黑人 because when you're black,
你的邻居会把你所有的食物偷走 your community steals all your food,
所以你不会吃那么多 so you can't eat as much.
而如果你是犹太人 根本没人会买东西 And when you're Jewish, nobody ever buys anything,
所以你也不会吃很多 so you can't eat as much.
你做了该死 不做也该死 You're damned if you do, you're damned if you don't.
上帝啊 Oh, dear God.
那些混蛋做到了 The bastards did it.
他们把整个学校的数据都黑了 They leaked the entire school's data.
好啦 Oh, okay.
喂 观众席里的那个肥仔 So hey, fat guy in the audience.
你有找到自己可以爱的人吗 Have you found anyone else you could love,
比如另外一个肥仔 like another fat person?
你也是那种肥而注孤一生的人吧 Or, are you one of those fat people who will always be alone?
伦纳德 2009年你居然跟我女友劈腿 Hey, Leonard, you enjoy my girlfriend in 2009?
就像她对你抄袭的情诗一样咯 As much as she enjoyed your plagiarized poetry.
我要杀了你 I will kill you.
别装得跟你很关心我一样 Don't act like you care about me.
你恶搞我的卡通画我都看了 I've seen all of your cartoons about me.
我是这个学校最可怕的噩梦 I am this school's worst nightmare!
我是... I am a.
要命 外面就跟「公路勇士」一样[疯狂的麦克斯2] Man, it's like Road Warrior out there,
只不过汽油变成了隐私 but if petrol were privacy
「坏牙」则是肮脏的秘密 and bad teeth were dirty secrets.
好消息 尼尔又跟我们说话了 Good news! Neil's talking to us again.
他说他尊重我们的道德立场 He says he respects our moral position,
但不包括我们的实施方式 but not our execution.
另外他说他再也不会跟我们说话了 Also, he says he's never talking to us again.
我真是不知道我们该如何从这件事中恢复过来 I don't see how we can bounce back from this one.
这件事 This one?
是啊 Yeah.
如果你有关注剧集揭秘的话题 If you follow a theme of revealed secrets,
电邮被黑事件只是三部曲的第三部而已 the email hack is the third installment of a trilogy
第一部是安妮丢笔事件 that began with Annie losing a pen,
发生时间被我称作「黄金年代」 in what I've come to call the Golden Age.
那我猜第二部应该是 I'm guessing the second chapter would be
某老头手淫精尽而亡之后 你最好的朋友 when your best friend vanished on a mysterious boat trip
-登上一艘神秘大船绝尘而去 -没错 - after the older one masturbated himself to death? - Yeah.
如果你们能从那种事中恢复过来 If that's one you guys bounced back from,
这个不足为虑 we might be okay.
这里能吸取到什么教训吗 What's the lesson here?
我一直想知道这其中的教训是什么 I always wanna make sure I know what the lesson is.
我可是完美主义者 I'm a completist.
学校的其他人现在各种混乱 The rest of the school's in shambles,
所以我们也许应该更进化 比他们更宽容 so maybe we're more evolved and forgiving than them.
我们早就知道了 白痴 We already know that, stupid.
我对那些关于犹太人和黑人的玩笑越发麻木了 I feel more desensitized to jokes about Jews and blacks.
这样算好事吗 Is that good?
说啥呢 Say what?
我们知道了大家的隐私 言论自由 We know the pieces of our privacy, freedom of speech,
恐怖主义以及政府 terrorism, and government.
所以教训大概就是一种讽刺的配对吧 So, the lesson is probably an ironic pairing,
比如一个人的隐私就是另外一个人的自由 like one man's privacy is another man's freedom.
政府即恐怖主义 Government is terrorism.
唯一自由的言论就是隐私言论 The only free speech is private speech.
一个自由政府对隐私实行恐怖统治 A free government terrorizes privacy.
四个全齐了 贱人们 That's all four, bitches.
恐怖政治的恐怖统治者是 Terror is terrorized by-.
泰丽恐怖分子 Terry the terrorist?
莫停歇 恐怖主义的恐吓 Tarry not, for terrorism terrifies.
-政府 -言论 - Government. - Speech.
我们抓到黑客了 We caught the hacker.
这是莱恩 即奶酪骗子线 又名放屁戒条 This is Ryan, AKA StringCheeseHustler, AKA Fartmitzvah,
头骨和勃屌88 冰雪奇烂 乳头小将 Skullandboners88, Frozensucked, Captaintitty.
大家没必要知道他所有的昵称 You don't need to know all his names.
他就住在大学街对面 He lives across the street from the campus,
他现在有话想说 and he's got something he wants to say.
-是不是呀 -对不起 - Don't you? - I'm sorry.
对不起什么 For what?
对不起猜到你们学校的 For guessing your school
主密码是changeme[改变我] master password was changeme.
你晚上怎么能安然入眠 沃伯顿 How do you sleep at night, Warburton?
你曾经是我们的一员 You were one of us.
你曾经是自由的 You were free.
当身为某团伙的一员时就不会是自由的 No one's free when they're one of anything.
关于你的问题 And to answer your question,
我的答案是我睡觉时会睁着一只眼 I sleep alone with one eye open.
所以我才不是被铐上手铐的一员 That's why I'm not the one in cuffs.
走吧 放屁戒条 Let's go, Fartmitzvah.
犯罪没有好下场 Crime doesn't pay.
抱歉我利用照片 I'm sorry if I used photography
数码模拟了你们其中某些人的裸体 to digitally approximate some of your naked bodies.
没关系啦 It's all right.
-真的吗 -才不是咧 - It is? - No!
有发现吗 Anything?
跟昨天一样 Same as yesterday.
巨大的数据云在牧场上下起倾盆大雨 Big cloud of data raining over a pasture.
80亿只绵羊继续被放牧 All 8 billion sheep keep grazing.
这算是好事吗 Is that good?
当然 Sure.
你刚刚说的身为某团体的一员 The thing you said back there about not being a part of anything.
是你的真实感受吗 Is that really how you feel?
我如何感受并不重要 It's not a question of how I feel.
我喜欢飞翔 I feel like flying.
但我也不会去跳大楼 I don't jump off buildings.
你相信上帝吗 沃伯顿 Do you believe in God, Warburton?
要知道并没有规定要求咱们必须得是朋友对吧 You know, there's no rule that says we have to be friends, right?
基本礼貌呢 你对这条规则熟悉不 How about common courtesy? Familiar with that rule?
所谓基本和礼貌的价值观其实是对立的 The words common and courtesy have opposite values.
基本礼貌其实是胡说八道 毫无意义 Common courtesy is just gibberish, hocus pocus,
是我们意图欺骗现实时的咒语 a spell we cast when hoping to cheat reality.
你真是个愤世嫉俗的混小子 You're a cynical son of a bitch.
这是我对你的评价 I'll give you that.
我妻子做了一些捕梦网 You know, my wife, she makes these dream catchers.
闭上你的臭嘴 Shut the hell up.
你能用多快赶到主机智硬线 How fast can you get us to the mainframe hardline?
美国佬儿冲啊[源自扬基之歌] Yankee Doodle Dandy!
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你看懂了吗 Did you get any of that?