翻译: 奇迹 御姐Kimuu 大岛优子一生推
我是Shelly 请在哆瑞咪发嗦啦西 滴声后留言 This is Shelly. Leave a message after the... Do, re, mi, fa, so, la, ti...
校对: 少女Amber 怪查理
我打来只是想说 如果 I'm just phoning... If, erm...
如果我们还有可能破镜重圆 If you think there's any chance of us getting back together...
后期: 怪查理
请告诉我 just give me a sign.
压制: 怪查理
噢 你们来干啥 Oh, what are you two doing here?
我有个拥抱绿树的静修 记得吗 I have that tree-hugging retreat thing, remember?
你说Roly周末可以来你这 You said Roly could stay over the weekend.
我以为你开玩笑呢 Yeah, I didn't think you were being serious.
我的公寓对孩子可是步步危机 My flat's not really child-proofed.
到处是生锈的铁钉 There's rusty nails everywhere.
他打过破伤风针了 He's had his tetanus jab.
拜托了 你怎么能拒绝这张小脸 Oh, come on, how can you say no to this face?
废柴舅舅
第一季 第六集
电波诚译
这个大行囊是怎么回事 他只是待三天 What's with the giant bag? He's only staying for three days.
那是他的帐篷 每次外出过夜都带着 让他有安全感 That's his tent. He brings it to all of his sleepovers. It keeps him safe.
干嘛 防美洲豹吗 What from? Jaguars?
细菌 我还写了首歌 你想听吗 Germs. I wrote a song about it. Do you want to hear?
稍等片刻吧 Maybe a bit later.
去洗个手吧 宝贝 Why don't you go and wash your hands, darling?
谢谢你 把他留在这真的让我很愧疚 Thanks for doing this. I feel really guilty leaving him,
但是我的律师和医生告诉我需要集中精神 but my lawyer and my therapist say that I need to centre myself
免得在下周监护权案时出差错 so I'm not a mess during the custody verdict next week.
如果我打电话来 别接 我需要严厉的爱 If I try calling, don't answer me. I need tough love.
严厉的爱是我专长 Tough love's my specialty.
- Shelly不理我了 - 你有病啊 - Shelly's stopped talking to me. - What is it with you?
为什么总是在搞砸了之后才陷入爱河 Why do you only fall in love after you've ruined things horribly?
大概 我就是喜欢那种浪漫吧 I guess I'm just... romantic that way?
薄荷糖是怎么回事 What is it with the mints?
不知道 他最近超在意口腔卫生 I don't know. He's on an oral-hygiene kick.
好了 我要走了 爱你 宝贝 Anyway I've got to go. I love you, munchkin!
需要什么给我打电话 Call me if you need anything.
比如儿童尺寸的装尸袋吗 Like child-sized body bags?
我给接下来三天做了日程安排 I made a schedule for the next three days.
- 你竟然还塑封过了 - 我有台机器 - You've laminated it. - I have a machine.
这上面包含了所有内容 用餐时间 就寝时间 排便时间 It's got everything on it. Mealtimes, bedtimes, pootimes.
那现在是什么时间 What are we meant to be doing now?
和Andy解释日程表 "Explain schedule to Andy."
明天我们去天文馆 Tomorrow we've got the planetarium.
有关于黑洞的展览 They've got a black hole exhibit.
你想了解黑洞 看看我的账户就行了 You want to know about black holes? Look at my bank account.
我们怎么去得起这些地方 How are we going to afford all that?
妈妈给了我一些零花钱 Mum gave me some pocket money.
那你最好让我帮你管钱 Probably best if you let me hang on to that.
不 你只会拿去喝酒抽烟 No. You'll just waste it on beer and cigarettes.
好了 我要做生物作业 Now, I've got biology homework to do,
请务必保持绝对的安静 so I'm going to need total peace and quiet.
你能小声点吗 Can you turn that down, please?
无声杀僵尸 堪比放屁想优雅 Killing zombies quietly, it's like trying to fart daintily.
可能性为零 It can't be done.
你要来玩玩吗 Why don't you have a go?
没有爆过僵尸头的人生是不完整的 You haven't lived until you've blown a zombie's brains out.
如果我玩 晚餐给我买寿司 If I do will you buy me sushi for dinner?
除非你能杀20个僵尸 If you kill 20 zombies.
这是跑 这是开火 That is run and that is fire.
你玩这个和僵尸看到脑浆一样 You've taken to that like a zombie... to brains.
你对监护权案有什么想法 How are you feeling about the custody verdict?
你只是想转移我注意力 这样你就不必掏钱买寿司了 You're just trying to distract me so you won't have to pay for sushi.
不 我是认真的 我是说基本上 No, I'm serious. I mean, basically,
这就决定了你跟谁一起生活 you've got a judge that's going to come along
决定你未来的日程表 对吧 and decide on your whole future living schedule, right?
我们都知道你多热爱日程表 And we all know how much you love a schedule.
我无所谓 只要爸爸妈妈开心就好 I don't mind really, as long as Mum and Dad are happy.
那什么让你开心 Yeah, but what makes you happy?
我不知道 什么让你开心 I don't know. What makes you happy?
搞定 20个僵尸 Bingo, 20 zombies.
是 Yeah, hm.
稍等 Hang on.
你好 Hello?
是 Yes.
嗯 现在吗 Yes. Right now?
我是说 没问题 I mean, yeah, we can.
好 谢谢 OK. Thanks.
是Rage唱片公司 That was Rage Records.
是Rage唱片公司打来的 That was Rage Records!
我给他们寄了张小样和我们演出的片段 I-I-I sent them a demo and a clip of us playing
Rage唱片的Mo Khan 想现在和我们见个面 and Mo Khan at Rage Records, he wants us to come in right now for a meeting with them.
- Mo Khan是谁 - Rage唱片的Mo Khan - Who's Mo Khan? - Mo Khan of Rage Records!
他就是Rage唱片的Simon Cowell 只是没那么大的胸 He's Like the Simon Cowell of Rage Records only without the moobs.
Simon Cowell 英国音乐制作人 制作人和评委 因男性胸部下垂常被调侃
只要他在推特上稍微提一下 I mean, if he tweets about us once,
我们肯定会一炮而红 we are pretty much automatically famous.
我去不了 生物作业还没写完 But I can't. I haven't finished my biology homework.
这可是Rage唱片啊 Rage records!
我已经为你牺牲了整个周末 I have sacrificed my entire weekend for you.
你要是帮我搞定这次 If you come with me and do this,
东京的寿司任你挑 I will buy you all the sushi in Tokyo.
他们提供饮料你就喝 千万别拒绝 If they offer drinks, say yes. Always say yes to drinks.
我要是不渴呢 What if I'm not thirsty?
那就是我下面要说的 表现得正常些 That brings me to my next point - don't be weird.
不正常 我怎么不正常了 Weird? How am I weird?
你说他们会听我的细菌之歌吗 Do you think they'd like to hear my germ song?
不 我们在这不表演 No. We're not playing anything.
永远别在会面的时候表演 显得太饥渴 Never play at meetings. It looks desperate.
Khan先生现在想见你 Mr Khan will see you now.
好了 最重要一点 OK, most important of all -
记住了 保持酷劲 remember, be cool.
是 就这个 Yeah. This is the one
就是因为烂我才喜欢 靠 我要挂了 cos it's fucked up and I love it. Oh, shit. Gotta go.
哟 Errol和Andy 最大熊值 Yo! Errol and Andy. The Bear Maximum.
Trix招待他们些喝的 橘汁 可乐 伏特加 Can Trix get you guys a drink? Orange juice? Coke? Vodka?
你看着像整日酗酒的人 You look like a daytime drinker.
椰汁就好了 谢谢 Could I have a coconut water, please?
我要处女(无酒精)玛丽 对处女"下手轻点" I'll have a Virgin Mary. Easy on the virgin.
请坐 放松 当自己家 Sit. Relax. Make yourselves at home.
别碰那个 Don't touch that.
你们觉得怎样 What do you think?
哇噢 很赞 Wow. I love that
没错 这些人会和无基版宠物店男孩一样火 Correct answer. These guys will be huge, like the Pet Shop Boys without the gay stuff.
宠物店男孩 英国二人音乐组合
他们的新单曲叫男衩 Their new single's called Man-gerie.
- 你可以查查看 - 男衩 - You should check it out. - Man-gerie?
就是男人的裤衩 很酷 Errol 你不看好吗 As in men's lingerie. It's dope. Errol, you don't seem sold?
他天生面瘫脸 That's just his face.
没什么 只是这照片有点 蠢 It's nothing. It's just that picture is a bit... silly.
说的没错 You're right.
接下来谈正事吧 你是他爸吗 So, what's the deal here. Are you his dad?
其实我是他舅舅 I'm his uncle, actually.
酷 就像独立摇滚版的笑本部 Cool. You're like indie rock's answer to LMFAO.
笑本部 美国电音嘻哈组合 成员Stefan Kendal Gordy和Skyler Husten Gordy为叔侄关系
是赞本部吧 Well, that sounds LMFAO-wesome.
你话不多 是吗 You don't say much, do you?
我不是怪胎 I'm not weird.
我想说 Mo 很荣幸能加入你的唱片公司 Can I just say, Mo, what an honour it would be to be on your record label.
老实说 听你的小样我还不是很肯定 To be honest, I wasn't 100% sold on your demo.
所以我让你过来 现场感受感受 That's why I brought you in - to hear the magic for myself.
抱歉 我们没带乐器 Sorry. We don't have our instruments with us.
没事 吉他和键盘就在那儿 No probs. We've got a guitar and keyboard right over there,
但是你最好去开开嗓 but you should go and warm up your voice.
我从不开嗓 I never warm up my voice.
你应该去 You should go warm up.
嗯 好吧 Erm, sure.
凡是都有第一次嘛 Always a first for everything.
你要点别的吗 纸杯蛋糕 牛肉汉堡 Can I get you anything else? Cupcakes, bison burger,
一碗去掉橙色和黄色口味的软糖 a bowl of Starmix with all the orange and yellows picked out?
有薄荷糖吗 Do you have any mints?
留着吧 孩子 跟你说实话 Keep them. I want to be honest with you, kid.
我对最大熊值毫无兴趣 I'm not interested in The Bear Maximum.
名字烂 声音差 The name sucks and the sound blows.
你知道我对什么有兴趣吗 Do you know what I am interested in, though?
椰子 Coconuts?
你 你才是卖点 朋友 You. You're the main attraction, my friend.
我在视频里看到你 When I saw you in that clip,
就知道你是下个Conor Maynard I knew I was looking at the next Conor Maynard.
Conor Maynard 英国新生代流行音乐男歌手
- 谁 - 正是如此 - Who? - Exactly.
我签下你之后 他就算小人物了 When I'm done with you, you'll blow the competition out the water.
我会让你成为流行明星 I'm going to make you a pop star.
孩子 我现在就想签你 你说呢 Kid, I want to sign you right now. What do you say?
那我舅舅怎么办 But what about my Uncle Andy?
你能暂时别提你舅舅吗 Will you just forget about your uncle a second?
想想你自己和你的家人 Think about you and your whole family.
你可以给你妈买房子 给你爸买游艇 You'll be able to buy your mum a house, your dad a yacht,
给你舅舅买个音乐室 买个唱片公司 your uncle his own studio. Hell, his own label!
你们都会很开心 You'll all be happy.
你不会弄砸的 You're not going to mess this up.
你会弄砸吗 Are you going to mess this up?
如果你单飞 你就可以自己写歌自己挑曲 If you go solo, you'll be able to write your own songs, pick your own sound.
你会名利双收 You'll be rich and famous.
要是你舅舅真的在意你 If your uncle really cares about you,
他就该爷们点放你走 he'll man up and step aside.
怎么样 你想当明星吗 So what do you say? You want to be a star?
名人没有隐私 Famous people have no privacy,
那我怎么去天文馆 so how will I go to the planetarium?
孩子 这事要是成了 Kid, when I'm done with you,
你都可以买一座天文馆了 you'll be able to buy the planetarium.
你不会后悔的 You won't regret this.
我已经拟好合同等你父母签字了 I'll have the contracts drawn up for your parents to sign.
你要我把这事告诉你舅舅吗 You want me to break the news to your uncle?
不 我自己来 他有些敏感 No! I'll tell him. He can be a bit sensitive.
好了 我们开始吧 All right, let's do this!
对了 You know what?
我还有个会要开 I have another meeting now,
但是明晚我们有个派对 but we're having a party tomorrow night.
你们一定要到场 You two should definitely come.
我给你们介绍些人认识 I could introduce you to some people,
造造势 怎么样 keep this vibe going. What do you say?
*爷现在火了 你个小贱人* *I'm fucking famous, bitch*
*爷还有钱了 看看我日程* *I'm also stupid rich You see my plan*
*你就会知晓 无人可挡爷* *You understand Has gone without a hitch*
*爷就真本色 谁也都敢惹* *I'm fucking living it I do not give a shit*
*自创个乐队 它偏就火了* *I'm in the band and in demand*
*爷现在火了 你个小贱人* *I'm fucking famous, bitch*
*苦了那么久 爷熬出头了* *It's been a long time coming And I've finally made it*
*我不敢相信 爷咋就火了* *I've been busting my arse And I'm finally famous*
*世界在我手 小妞在我怀* *I've got the world in my palms Got the girls on my arms*
*计划我还有 最好敲警钟* *I'm the man with the plan Better raise the alarm*
*笑我的浑球 给老子听好* *This is to the pricks that ever doubted my talent*
*我比你们火 就是我生活* *I'm fucking famouser than you so it should be apparent*
*每一个混蛋 都笑我蠢货* *Every single dick that ever said I was shit*
*我用我自己 证明他们错* *Will be choking on their words when I'm spitting the hits*
*一切在把握 一切都得到* *I'm getting absolutely everything that I ever wanted*
*名誉响如我 炫耀又如何* *If you're a legend like me then you might as well flaunt it*
*金唱片在手 谁管业绩否* *I got a gold record like an over-achiever*
*小金车入手 金毛猎犬到* *I bought a gold car and a golden retriever*
*随心插队伍 排队算什么* *I jump to the front I don't know what a queue is*
*家中的皇椅 路易斯购得* *Got a throne in my home that I bought from John Lewis*
*爷所有衣服 都是小麋鹿* *All of my clothes are Abercrombie & Fitch*
*穿着不合身 但是又如何* *They don't even fit me*
*爷现在火了 你个小贱人* *but I'm famous, bitch*
*身价值亿万 我还管什么* *I am a millionaire I live without a care*
*他妈有名了 耻毛长齐了* *I'm so well known, I'm fully grown.*
*连头上的毛 都是自己的* *This is all my own hair*
*爷有好音准 爷能打败你* *I got the perfect pitch I sunk your battleship*
*爷名声大了 都认识我了* *I've got the fame, you know my name*
*爷现在火了 你个小贱人* *I'm fucking famous, bitch!*
- Andy舅舅 - 咋了? - Uncle Andy? - Mm?
如果你无法成名 还会开心嘛 Would you still be happy if you weren't famous?
我已经受够这种无名摇滚歌手的日子了 I've tried living the life of an anonymous rock star
真的挺惨的 and it ain't pretty.
你知道吗 我下周在地毯兄弟还有个面试 Do you know, next week I've got an interview at Carpet Brothers.
地毯兄弟耶 我都快沦落到这种地步了 Carpet Brothers! That's how close my life was to being over.
每个拒绝过我的音乐监制都会出现在这场派对上 Every single music executive that has ever turned me down is going to be at that party
我真是等不及看看Mo Khan明天 and I can't wait to see the look on their faces when Mo Khan
像炫耀新大波女朋友一样炫耀我们时那群混蛋的脸色了 shows us off like his new girlfriend with the big, massive tits.
当然 货真价实天生大波 And, yes, they are real.
但是 你知道最爽的地方是什么嘛 But do you know the best part about this is?
这是我们共同的成就 We're going to be doing this together.
我不在房间里时 Mo和你都说了些啥 What were you talking to Mo about when I wasn't in the room?
天文馆 Planetariums.
哈 一对呆子 Ha! What a couple of dorks!
你觉得怎样 What do you think?
你看起来像个教区牧师 You look like a vicar.
我看起来就像个多米诺 I look like a domino.
一个非常性感的多米诺骨牌 I look like a sexy, sexy domino.
人人都爱多米诺 People love dominos.
达美乐披萨 法兹·多米诺 Domino's Pizza, Fats Domino...
法兹·多米诺 50年代中期到60年代初新奥尔良最流行的乐手
我觉得你为了今晚买套这么贵的西装 不值得 I don't think it's a good idea buying an expensive suit just for one night.
你明明说过自己没钱了 You said you were broke.
所以要把你也得贡献出零用钱 So you'll be chipping in your pocket money.
才不要呢 那是为了去天文馆存的钱 No way. That's for the planetarium.
什么比较重要 What's more important?
在人生中最重要的晚上看起来光彩夺目 Us looking good on the most important night of our lives
还是去什么天体水族馆 or going to some planet aquarium?
啥事 Yep?
我不是和你说过 如果我打过来别接电话的嘛 I told you not to answer if I called.
嘘 Sh!
那你干嘛打来 Why did you call then?
看看你会不会接啦 To see if you'd answer.
Roly还好吗 有没有想我 How's Roly? Is he missing me?
你们去看黑洞展览了么 Have you been to the black hole exhibit?
小家伙昨晚寿司吃坏了 身体不舒服呢 The little fella had some bad sushi last night.
- 所以今天还歇在家里 - 啊嗷 - We're kind of taking it easy today. - Ugh...
噢不 他要我回家嘛 Oh, no, does he want me to come home?
我能在45分钟赶回来 I can be there in 45 minutes.
- 嘘 - 嘘你个头 - Sh! - You shush!
没事 一切都在我掌控之中 No, he's fine. I've got it under control.
你们那里还好吧 How are things with you?
惬意得很 Great, it's really relaxing.
我今晚得找到我的树 然后和它结合 I have to find my tree tonight and bond with it,
相当于抱着根巨大的鸡鸡 so I'll basically just be hugging a giant wooden penis.
- 嘘 - 去 - Sh! - Ohh...
那你当心木刺啊 Well, watch out for splinters.
得挂了 Better run,
Roly肚子里的寿司又开始翻江倒海了 Roly's sushi looks like it's coming up for an encore.
- 啊 - 拜 - Ugh! - Bye.
嘘 Sh!
背景音乐为Benny Benassi的
Errol Errol!
这身蠢爆了 This is stupid.
我觉得自己就像口技师用的木偶 I feel like a ventriloquist's dummy.
这叫宣传 咱们是个乐队嘛 This is marketing. We're a band.
就像加入了酷炫黑帮 That's like being in the cool gang.
你就是迷你小头目 You look like a tiny ringleader.
那些人不应该在那抽烟 Those people shouldn't be smoking cigarettes.
会有火灾危险的 It's a fire hazard.
放心 他们不是在抽烟 Don't worry. They're not smoking cigarettes.
我们要在这里待多久 How long do we have to stay?
待到签约为止 As long as it takes to get a signed recording contract.
哇 看看谁来了 Kaboom! Look who just walked in.
你们就像两个潮爆了的驯兽师 Y'all look like two swagged-up lion tamers.
谈话进行地如何了 So, how'd the talk go?
我们讨论过了 We've discussed it and...
最大熊值已准备好随时签约 The bare maximum is ready to sign on the dotted line.
哇 我都不知道该说什么了 Wow, I... don't know what to say.
只要答应即可 Just say yes.
- 嘿 - 嘿 - Hey. - Hey!
Errol Andy Errol, Andy,
这位是Fresh Keyz this is Fresh Keyz.
Fresh可是现在当红的制作人 Fresh is the hottest producer right now.
和他们说说你刚和谁合作了 Tell 'em who you just got out the studio with.
- Dizzee - 现在他被人们爱疯了 - Dizzee. - And now he's bonkers!
Dizzee Rascal 英伦黑人文化的新偶像 有一首歌叫bonkers(无限疯狂)
幸会 Fresh Nice to meet you, Fresh.
我是Andy King 主唱和作曲人 My name's Andy King. I'm the lead vocalist and song-writer.
- 我知道你是谁 - 真的假的 - Yeah, I'm familiar with your work. - Really?
我见过你表演 好喜欢你的低保真风格 I caught one of your gigs. Really liking those lo-fi sounds.
低保真 指使用粗糙 怪异 不和谐的音色和生硬歪曲的演奏技巧 着力营造出一种噪音效果
我真想 立刻和你深吻一番 I could... FRESH kiss you right now.
这就是我和你提起过的那个孩子 This is the kid I was telling you about.
他简直就是迷你莫扎特 He's like a mini Mozart.
但愿不是 莫扎特35岁时就死了 I hope not. Mozart died at the age of 35.
维基百科上多了 Someone's been on Wikipedia too much.
有乐感又聪明 我就喜欢这种人 Beats and brains. I love it.
小Rol哥 Rol-dog,
让这两个音宅沉溺于他们的世界吧 let's leave these sound nerds to it, huh?
我带你去看看这里的冰激凌吧 Want to check out the ice-cream bar I had put in?
不行 他有乳糖不耐症 No can do. He's lactose intolerant.
没事的 Andy舅舅 It's OK, Uncle Andy.
我相信他们肯定有水果冰沙 I'm sure they'll have sorbet.
伙计 你得在事情变复杂前和你舅舅说清楚了 Man, you have got to tell him before it gets embarrassing.
你对于数字与模拟音乐的看法是什么 What are your views on digital versus analogue?
当今很流行数字音乐 但是模拟 Well, digital's very cool right now, but analogue...
性感海滩 Sex on the beach?
哇 那我就不客气了 Whoa, don't mind if I do.
- 我马上就回来 - 不 那个 - I'll be right back! - No, it...
欢迎来到贵宾室 Welcome to the VIP room.
- 先生 你的椰子汁 - 谢谢 - Your coconut, sir. - Thank you.
这些才是重量级人物 These are the hit makers.
我邀请了MTV XFM I invited guys from MTV, XFM,
1号电台 2号电台 甚至4号电台的人 Radio 1, Radio 2, even Radio 4.
他们跪求我的 They begged.
这些人全都是来看你的 They're all here for you.
你就是我的金刚 You're my King Kong.
我发掘了你 现在要把你带回家 I discovered you and now I'm bringing you home.
金刚最后不也死了吗 Didn't King Kong die at the end?
但它至少曾登上帝国大厦嘛 But he climbed the Empire State Building first.
看看 我们连T恤都印好了 Hey, look. We even made T-shirts.
各位 听好了 Guys, listen up.
我已经很久没有为新人而激动了 I haven't been this excited about a new act
自从我看到弗洛伦丝的"鸡器"后 since I caught a flash of Florence's "Machine".
Florence And The Machine 英国独立摇滚乐队
忘了Bieber 忘了Kanye Forget Bieber, forget Kanye.
我向你们隆重推出 I give you...
Errol Errol!
Shelly 等等 Shelly, wait!
你是在跟踪我吗 Did you follow me here?
不 其实我和Errol是被Mo Khan亲自邀来的 No. Actually, me and Errol were personally invited here by Mo Khan.
呵呵 是啊 Yeah, right.
你连谎都撒不好 You can't come up with a better lie than that?
我是说真的 No, it's true.
我觉得他应该会签下我们 I think he's going to sign us.
那真是恭喜了 Well, good for you.
你这么好的男人 应该碰到这种好事 You deserve it for being such a great guy!
Shelly 你在这做什么 Shelly, what are you doing here?
你什么时候开始当服务员了 Since when were you a waitress?
从我朋友告诉我有个Rage唱片派对侍者的工作开始 Since a friend called to tell me there was a catering spot at a Rage party.
还因为 如果我们在一起的时候 你有认真听我 And because, if you'd spent one second listening while we were together,
你就会知道 我一直说想成为签约歌手 you'd have heard me talk about my dreams of becoming a signed recording artist.
喔 迷你披萨 Oh, mini pizzas.
等等 Shelly 我可以帮你 Shelly, wait! I can help.
把你介绍给Fresh Keyz Let me introduce you to Fresh Keyz.
他可是现在当红的制作人呢 He's this hotshot producer.
天哪 你愿意为我这么做 真是贴心呢 Oh, my God. You'd do that for me? That's so sweet.
我是说 你肯定没有其他企图 I mean, I'm sure you won't expect anything in return,
例如可悲的和好炮吧 like pathetic make-up sex, now, would you?
我想的是"性感热辣的" I was thinking more "Hot and steamy",
不过"可悲"也能凑活 but I'll take "Pathetic".
你老这样 怎么严厉的爱 You're making this tough-love thing really hard.
我知道 对不起啦 I know. I'm sorry.
但是我正在经历对Roly的思念期 I'm having Roly withdrawals.
你能让他来听电话嘛 Can you put him on, please?
我需要听听他的声音 I need to hear his voice.
你那怎么有鼓声 What's that drumming?
他们说鼓声会引导我找到属于我的树 It's supposed to guide me to my special tree,
但我都听得烦死了 but it's doing my head in.
你现在在哪里 听起来像是个派对 Where are you? It sounds like a party.
没有啦 那是环绕立体声 Er, no. That's just my surround sound.
正在看<宿醉> 拉斯维加斯嘛 Watching The Hangover. Vegas, baby!
宿醉 美国喜剧电影 讲述四个好友在拉斯维加斯过单身派对不慎弄丢新郎的故事
Errol正在刷牙 不方便讲话 再见 Errol's brushing his teeth right now, he can't talk now. Bye.
Andy Andy?
原来你在这里啊 Oh, there you are.
你用哪个牌子的扩音器 What kind of amp do you use?
你是喜欢Vox的人吧 I'm guessing you're a Vox man, right?
呃 不 我用的是Marshall Erm, yeah. No, em... Marshall.
你见到Errol了吗 Have you seen Errol?
Mo肯定有好好照顾他 I'm sure Mo's taking good care of him.
皇室宝宝交给他都没问题 You could trust him with the royal baby.
那里面在做什么 What's going on in there?
就一些有的没的 Oh, just boring stuff.
你不能进去 You can't go in there.
那只允许贵宾进的 It's VIP only.
如果Errol是贵宾 那我就是超级贵宾 If Errol's a VIP, I'm V-VIP.
真的 我不能让你进去 Seriously. I can't let you in there.
他会杀了我的 He'll kill me.
Fresh 这他妈的到底是怎么回事 Fresh. What the fuck's going on?
听着 Look...
我的名字不是Fresh 是Norman My name's not Fresh. It's Norman.
我只是个实习生 I'm an intern.
Mo让我来让你分心的 Mo asked me to keep you occupied.
从什么上分心 Norman Occupied from what, Norman?
谁想听听这孩子的歌 Who wants to hear what the kid can do?!
这里是在做什么 What's going on here?
对不起 Mo 我试着阻止他了 I'm sorry, Mo. I tried to stop him!
你被炒了 You're fired.
伙计 你早晚都会知道 Dude, you were going to find out sooner or later.
我没打算签你 I'm not signing you.
行 走了 Errol Fine. Come on, Errol.
不 我不签你 但我要签他 No. I'm not signing you. I am signing him.
痴心妄想 对吧 That's crazy, right?
Errol 你说呢 Errol? That's crazy, yeah?
抱歉 但我真的对你的买醉猫王的路线无感 Sorry. I just can't sell this drunk Elvis thing you've got going on.
但是大家都爱猫王啊 But everyone loves Elvis.
爱意气风发的猫王 Young, cool Elvis.
不是那个因为便秘死在马桶上的猫王 Not peanut butter sandwich, dead on the toilet Elvis.
你过时了 和酷更是沾不上边 You're not current and you're definitely not cool.
Andy舅舅 等等 Uncle Andy, wait!
所以你从一开始就知道 You knew the whole time, didn't you?
我很想告诉你的 I wanted to tell you.
但是想想 如果我赚了那么多钱 It's just with all the money,
我可以帮你买一个唱片公司 I can buy you a record label.
还有爸爸妈妈 我能修补一切 And with Mum and Dad, I can fix everything.
我只是想让大家都开心 I just want everyone to be happy.
希望你现在开心了 I hope you're happy now.
我写的这首歌叫"无声杀手" Um, this is a song I wrote called Silent Killer
一听就很杀 Already sounds like a hit!
*从小便知 金言锦句* *Now we've all been told*
*生肉蔬菜 不宜搅拌* *Don't mix raw meat with your veg*
*勤洗全身 尤其脏手* *Wash your bits, pits and teeth And your hands on the reg*
*杀生完毕 记得擦净* *Wipe down all surfaces after the slaughter*
*砧板清理 温皂水益* *And rinse your cutting boards with warm soapy water*
*你既问之 血溅如何* *Now you might ask? What's a little blood splatter?*
*我便告之 健康几何* *Well, Health and Safety is no laughing matter*
*不听我言 可能感染* *Unless you want*
*沙门氏菌 大肠杆菌* *Salmonella E coli,*
*李氏杆菌 和红眼睛* *Listeria and pink eye*
Shelly 你喜欢我的音乐对吧 Shelly, you like my music right?
我在工作 Andy Not now, Andy.
这事很重要的 你会买我的专辑吧 No go on it's important. Please. You'd buy my album right?
说实话吗 我不是很感冒 Honestly? It's not really my thing.
但我也不会扔了它们就是了 But I wouldn't throw it away.
我奶奶给我买了苏珊大妈所有专辑 I mean my nan's got me every Susan Boyle album
我都有好好收着 and I've kept them all, so.
真好 Great.
我他妈成了肥苏珊 I'm, fucking, Su-Bo.
*寿司美味 人人乐享* *Sushi grade tune is the only kind of raw fish*
*除此以外 生食皆忌* *Anyone should ever try to have in a raw dish*
*若不听信 疾病均至* *Otherwise louses rip off your tongue,*
*尔等肺部 线虫作乱* *While nematodes go swimming round in your lung*
*弓浆虫症 人猫大敌* *Toxoplasmosis you're a zombie slave to cats*
*鼠患不除 鼠疫不灭* *And bubonic plague that's what you catch from rats*
*疾源之首 应为恶鸡* *And evil chickens they're the worst of the bunch,*
*诡计多端 荼毒汝食* *Plotting and planning on how to spoil your lunch*
*刁滑奸人 勿食其肉* *So don't accept meat from a dodgy looking fella*
*别做吃货 沙菌不扰* *Better yet, don't eat, so you won't get salmonella.*
各位 这就是Errol 是不是很棒 Errol, everyone! Wasn't that great?
第一有望 Smells like a number one.
有望才怪 那是什么鬼玩意 More like a number two. What the hell was that?!
我听到有人鼓掌了 I heard someone clapping.
那是4号电台的人 That was Radio 4!
你就不能唱Bieber的歌么 Don't you know any Bieber?
你说我可以唱我自己的歌 You said I could do my own songs?
没错 但内容得是和妹子打啵或者下流短信 Yeah, if they were about kissing girls and sexting,
而不是什么厨房保洁 not kitchen hygiene!
给我表演点带感的 Now play something cool.
厨房保洁就很带感 Kitchen hygiene is cool.
除非你不想要百万销量了 Not if you want to go platinum.
你准备表演些别的还是怎么样 Now, are you going to play something else or what?
我不在乎百万销量 I don't want to go platinum.
我只是想去天文馆(与百万销量英文谐音) I want to go to the planetarium.
Errol Errol!
小Rol哥 Rol-dog!
外物循坏往复 唯我经典不衰 I'm current. Everything moves in cycles.
Bieber只是David Cassidy的翻版 Bieber's just the new David Cassidy.
David Cassidy 上世纪七十年代的青少年偶像
你他妈的都不知道David Cassidy是谁 Oh, you don't even fucking know who David Cassidy is.
70年至74年的<帕特里奇家庭> 最好的电视乐队 Best TV band.
当然是除了猴子乐队以外的 Aside from The Monkeys. Obviously.
- Davy Jones - Davy Jones 他是害群之马 - Davy Jones . - Davy Jones . Yeah, he was the shit.
这都是我的错 This is all my fault.
我是审核你们唱片小样的人 然后把它推荐给了Mo I was the one who checked out your demo and recommended it to Mo.
我告诉他你们俩是舅甥连心 其利断金 I tried telling him that you guys were a good package,
但是他只对那个孩子感兴趣 but he was only interested in the kid.
是你推荐我们小样的 You recommended our demo?
没错 我觉得很棒 Yeah. I thought it was solid.
我会买你的专辑 I'd buy your album.
嗨 妈妈 Hi, Mum.
你是一直在刷牙么 Have you brushing your teeth that whole time.
我早说过 刷两分钟就足够了 I keep telling you, two minutes is enough.
妈妈 什么会让你快乐 Mum, what makes you happy?
新鞋子 合身的胸罩 New shoes and a comfortable bra.
开玩笑 是你让我快乐 I'm joking. You make me happy.
我 为什么 Me? Why?
因为你帮我按序排好所有的书 Because you alphabetise all my books,
你告诉我妆是不是化浓了 and you tell me if I'm wearing too much make-up,
你给我写的生日贺卡是最有趣的 and you write the funniest birthday cards,
还有你真的很擅长挑选熟的牛油果 plus you're really good at picking a ripe avocado,
你帮我完成我绝对搞不定的填字游戏 and you help me finish crosswords I have no business finishing.
还有 因为 And because...
你是这世上我唯一确定正确的选择 ..You are the only thing in this world I know I got right.
- 晚安 妈妈 - 晚安 宝贝 - Night, Mum. - Night, sweetheart.
就这样了 That's it, then.
我会在地毯兄弟公司工作终老 I'm just going to work in Carpet Brothers and slowly die.
别啊 老兄 你可是个音乐家 No, man. You're a musician.
人们需要听到你的音乐 People need to hear your music.
你是说 我不够格去地毯兄弟那工作咯 So, what you're saying is, I'm not Carpet Brothers material.
你们看见Errol了么 Hey, man. Have you seen Errol?
是啊 他大概这么高 而且长了一张小叛徒的脸 Yeah, he's about this tall with no sense of loyalty.
不 说真的 他自己跑开了 我找了他快半小时了 No, seriously. He ran out on me and I've been looking for him for like half an hour.
那是谁在看管他 Then who's watching him?
Mo 你赶紧跟我来 那孩子可逗了 Mo, you have come with me. This kid's being hilarious.
Errol 你在做什么 Errol, what are you doing?
嗨 Andy舅舅 我发明了一种新的舞蹈 Oh, hi, Uncle Andy. I've invented a new dance style.
Andy 发生了什么 Andy, what's going on?
Errol 赶紧起来 你会把自己弄脏的 Errol, get off the floor you're going to get dirty.
谁在乎这点细菌啊 Who cares about a few germs,
仔细想想 我们不都是细菌么 we're all germs really if you think about it.
你的脸好像菲比精灵 Your face looks like a Furby.
他这个样子完全就是 If I didn't know any better I'd say he's completely...
疯了 没错 Off his tits, yeah.
Errol 亲爱的 有人给你饮料或是吃的么 Errol, darling, has anyone given you anything to drink or eat?
只有Mo桌子里的薄荷糖而已 Only breath mints from Mo's desk.
不过尝起来不咋地 Didn't taste very nice though.
我把迷幻药装在薄荷盒里 I keep my E in a mint tin.
什么 What?!
没错 你外甥完全嗑嗨了 Yeah. Your nephew's tripping balls on Ecstasy.
Errol 你吃了几片薄荷糖 Errol, how many mints did you have?
一 二 三 无数 One, two, three, infinity.
想看我像希格斯场那样摆动么 Want to watch me move through the Higgs field?
希格斯场 被假定为一种遍布于宇宙的量子场
希格斯玻色子运动开始 希格斯玻色子运动停止 Higgs Bos-on! Higgs Bos-off!
希格斯玻色子 又称为"上帝粒子" 是希格斯场的振动
靠 这孩子会是个传奇的 Damn! Kid's going to be a legend after this.
你他妈在干什么 What the hell man!?
你本该好好照顾他的 You were supposed to be looking after him!
他又不是我的孩子 He's not my kid!
我们该怎么办 What do we do?
背景歌曲为Simon & Garfunkel的
多谢 Thanks.
怎样了 Any news?
他在康复中了 护士说他会没事的 He's in recovery now. The nurses says he's going to be fine.
过一会就能进去看他 We can go and see him in a little while.
这么一来监护权彻底告吹了 This is going to blow the custody case.
这是在我监护期间发生的 Andy 我的监护期 This happened on my time, Andy. My watch.
我相信你能照看好他 I trusted you to take care of him.
我知道 对不起 I know. I'm sorry.
我会尽我所能去挽回这一切 我保证 I'll do whatever it takes to make this better, I promise.
怎么挽回 How?!
这不是我的错 It wasn't my fault.
谁会把毒品放在薄荷糖盒里 Who keeps their drugs in a mint tin?
谁会带12岁的孩子去有毒品的派对 Who takes a 12-year-old to a party with drugs!?
我可以解释的 I can explain.
Ben 别 Ben, wait!
不好意思 家人现在可以进来了 Excuse me. The family can come through now.
不 你不行 你不准再靠近我儿子了 No, not you. You're not going anywhere near my son.
Sam Sam
回家吧 Andy Just go home, Andy.
Shelly Shelly...
你去哪 Where are you going?
- 回家 - 你可以留下的 - Home. - You could stay?
我从没想过我会这么说 I never thought I'd say this,
但是我思前想后 but I think out of everyone
你可能会是现在最不恨我的人了 you probably hate me the least right now.
Andy 曾经我是恋爱中疯狂的一方 Andy, I'm used to being the crazy one in a relationship,
但你 你比我更下贱 but you, you just blow me out the water.
这并不是我的错 But it wasn't my fault.
有一点是你的错 It was a little bit your fault.
背景音乐为Luke Sital-Singh的
嗨 你怎么样了 Hey. How are you feeling?
不错 没有脑损伤后遗症 Good. No lasting brain damage.
但是我还在观察中 But I'm still keeping an eye on it.
你回学校了么 Are you back at school yet?
回了 他们做了一个无麸质的蛋糕给我 Yeah. They made me a gluten free cake.
药磕多了别人都会对你这么好吗 Is everyone this nice when you have an overdose?
我倒是想 I wish.
你知道判决结果了么 Do you know of the verdict yet?
不知道 你妈说三点才出来 No. Your mum said three.
什么时候我才能过去玩游戏 When can I come over and play video games?
King先生 Mr King?
听着 我得挂了 拜 Look, I've got to go. Bye.
你能和他人和睦相处么 Would you say you work well with others?
当然 人们都喜欢我 Definitely. People love me.
在学校 我被投票选为最有可能组织邪教的人 At school I was voted most likely to start a cult.
你认为你曾经做过的 What would you say is like the toughest choice
最艰难的选择是什么 you've ever had to make?
皇堡还是巨无霸 我现在都无法抉择 Whopper or Big Mac. I still can't decide.
一个是明火烧烤的 一个是双层肉饼的 One of them flame grilled, the other one's a double patty.
就像<苏菲的选择> 是不 It's like Sophie's Choice in a way, isn't it?
<苏菲的选择> 小说及改编电影 描述二战期间苏菲所做的关于生与死及人性的选择
你做过保姆 这是怎么回事 You've been working as a babysitter. How did that come about?
我通过家庭关系得到的工作 I got that gig through a family connection.
个人而言 我搞不定孩子 I can't handle kids, personally.
没有那个耐心 Don't have the patience for them.
我懂你的意思 I know what you mean.
这很奇怪 一分钟前你想把他绑上石头扔进河里 It's weird, one minute you want to throw them in the river tied to a bag of rocks,
下一分钟你就发现 the next minute you find yourself...
为了让他开心 你愿意做任何可笑的事 Doing the most ridiculous things in order to make them happy.
不好意思 Excuse me.
我反对 Objection!
- 我靠 - 我靠 - Oh, shit. - Oh, shit.
我们正在开听证会 We're in the middle of a hearing.
法官大人 坐在那里的是我姐姐 Your honour, that's my sister sitting right there.
你不能因为我剥夺她的监护权 And she doesn't deserve to have her boy taken away because of me.
是我弄砸了一切 You know, I'm the fuck up.
我是个31岁还默默无闻的音乐家 I'm a 31-year-old nobody musician
保不住工作也搞不定恋爱 who can't hold down a job or a relationship.
我撒谎仅仅为了好玩 我伤害了所有我在乎的人 I lie for fun, I hurt everyone I care about.
我用过袜子当厕纸 I've used a sock as toilet paper...
还不止一次 on more than one occasion.
我是这一切的罪魁祸首 I'm a shabby battering ram
是我害Errol进了医院 and it's my fault Errol ended up in hospital.
是我一个人的错误 It was my fault and my fault alone.
别因为我的错惩罚Sam Don't punish Sam cos of my mistakes.
她是个好妈妈 而他是个好孩子 She's a great mum and he's a great kid.
他教我怎么给水壶去锈 He's taught me how to de-scale a kettle,
教我怎么正确地叠衣服 the correct way to fold T-shirts.
他还告诉我"直立猿人"的意思(性奋的基佬) He's just taught me the meaning of "Homo erectus"
这词完全和你们想的不一样 and it's not what you think it is.
我发誓我不会再靠近那个孩子一步 I swear I won't go near that kid again.
但请不要因为我毁了他的童年 Just don't ruin his childhood because of me.
他的一切才刚步入正轨 He was just starting to get normal.
呃 答辩结束 Um. The defence rests.
Andy 等等 Andy, wait!
对不起 那是个烂主意 I'm sorry. That was a bad idea.
我好像帮了倒忙 I think I've just made things a lot worse.
Roly 你来这干嘛 Roly? What are you doing here?
你不回我的电话 You wouldn't return my calls.
抱歉 伙计 但是有限制令呐 Sorry, mate. The restraining order...
又没说不能打电话 Doesn't say anything about calling.
你该走了 我必须离你至少200米远 Seriously, you should go. I mean, 200 metres.
我们这么做已经违法了 We're already breaking the law as it is.
什么时候你开始在乎法律了 Since when do you care about the law?
我正要乘巴士回家 I'm taking the bus home now,
因为交通堵塞和各种情况的耽搁 so if you factor in traffic, road works, delays,
至少能给我们一个小时 that could easily give us an hour.
一个小时做什么 An hour for what?
你最近怎么样 So... how are you doing?
不错 监护权共享还挺好 说真的 Yeah. Shared custody isn't that bad, really.
爸爸妈妈的心情也很好 Mum and Dad are in better moods now.
我做了新的日程表 Oh, I made a new schedule.
好吧 Oh, yeah.
见到你很高兴 It's good seeing you.
好吧 Yeah.
随你便 Whatever.
电波字幕组 欢迎您的加入 官方网站:www.dbfansub.com 新浪微博:@电波字幕组
英国民谣天才Jake Bugg的歌曲