翻译: 加一 Sherry 以太君 FENGYUDEER
有人吗 Hello?
校对: 实习记者乖安宝 总裁少爷怪查理
Andy舅舅 Uncle Andy?
后期: 怪查理
Errol Errol?
怎么了 你嗑药过量了吗 What happened? Did you overdose?
压制: 怪查理
我得了流感 你怎么进来的 I've got the flu. How'd you get in?
我用了门口地毯下面的备用钥匙 I used the spare key under the mat.
什么地毯下面的备用钥匙 What spare key under the mat?
总监: 怪查理
我自己配了放那的 The one I had made.
你怎么还不赶紧逃生啊 Why aren't you running for your life?
噢 我打了流感疫苗 百毒不侵 Oh, I've had the flu jab. I'm invincible.
哦 你来干啥的 Oh. What do you want?
你大老远过来就为了给我这张纸 You came all this way to give me a piece of paper?
这是个歌曲比赛 It's a song competition.
我去泡杯茶 你可以仔细看看 I'll go and make a cup of tea and you can read the details.
Roly在你那儿吗 Is Roly there?
我不确定 他也可能是个幻觉 I'm not sure. He could be a hallucination.
我刚喝了很多止咳糖浆 I've just drank a tonne of cough syrup.
噢 糖浆致幻法 我以前可爱这么干了 Ooh, are you robo-tripping? I used to love doing that.
不是 我得了流感 No, I've got the flu.
哦 谁让你不打疫苗的 Oh. You should've got the jab.
听着 Roly有没有告诉你我们吵架了 Listen, did Roly tell you we had a fight?
他摔门而出 他最近真是太糟糕了 He just stormed out. He's been horrible lately.
青春期而已 It's just puberty.
啊 天啊 我希望不是 Ugh, God, I hope not.
我昨晚想去约会 I tired to go on a date the other night,
但是Roly把我的车钥匙藏了起来 but Roly hid my car keys.
然后我们玩拼字游戏的时候 他拼了"叛徒" And then when we were playing Scrabble, he spelled, "Traitor."
那又怎样 这有什么大不了 So? What's the big deal?
一盘游戏里拼了三次 Three times in one game.
噢我去 拼字暗示 Fred West就是这么开始的 Oh, shit. Scrabble messages? That's how Fred West got started.
Fred West 英国连环杀手
那你要见的那家伙是谁 So who's this bloke you've been seeing?
喔 就是我在性创伤讲习班上认识的一个人 Oh, just someone I met at a sex trauma workshop.
- 真性感 - 喔 说到这个 - Sexy. - Oh, speaking of...
如果有人发短信问你"你现在穿着什么" If someone texts you, "What are you wearing?"
但是你穿的是一件很怂的睡衣 but all you're wearing is a shitty dressing gown,
你应该回什么 then what would you say?
你确定是在问你弟弟怎么发性爱短信吗 Are you really asking your brother for sext advice?
才不是性爱短信 是前戏短信 It's not a sext! It's a foreplext.
就回"一个假鸡巴和一颗奔放的心" Just write "A strap-on and an open mind."
真的吗 你会被这种话挑起兴致 Really? That would do it for you?
理论上是的 现在让我安静地死一死 Hypothetically. Now let me die in peace.
我没和我妈吵架 也没藏她的钥匙 I'm not fighting with Mum. And I didn't hide her keys.
是她自己经常弄丢钥匙 She's just always losing them.
我们的对话你从头听到尾了吗 Have you just listened to our entire conversation?
她说了她在和谁发短信吗 Did she say who she's been texting?
没有 你那么关心干什么 No. What do you care?
如果我知道他的名字 就能查查他的过往犯罪记录 Well, if I knew his name, I could do a CRB check on him.
- Andy - 谁在叫你 - Andy? - Who's that?
你的房租又逾期了 已经超了两周了 You're rent's past due again. Two weeks late.
Andy Andy?
呕 我觉得我嘴里都是你身体分泌的盐分 Ugh, I think I just got some of your body salt in my mouth.
你为什么不交房租 Why haven't you paid your rent?
因为地毯兄弟的遣散费用完了 Because I'm out of severance with Carpet Brothers,
我还没找到新工作 而且我还病着呢 and my job seekers hasn't come in yet and I'm si-I-I-ick.
所以我们更得写这首歌了 明天是截止日期 Which is why we need to write this song. The deadline's tomorrow.
我今天唯一要做的 The only thing I'm going to do today
就是看<权力的游戏>和讨厌Facebook上的人 is watch Game of Thrones and hate people on Facebook.
你还有什么可失去的 What have you got to lose?
我的尊严 My dignity.
你连连体衣都穿了 You're wearing a onesie.
这是连身裤 It's a jumpsuit.
但是这可能是最大熊值的盛大回归 肯定很有趣的 But this could be The Bear Maximum's big comeback. It'll be fun.
不 你不能在试着单飞之后再回到乐队 No. You can't come back in a band after trying to go solo.
就像战后的日本不准拥有武器 That's like Japan not being allowed weapons after the war.
好吧 反正一等奖才两万镑 Fine. Well, first prize is only 20,000.
最大熊值 出发 The Bear Maximum is go!
不行 这是我个人演出 No. This is a solo project.
我要一个人为自己参赛 I'm doing this for myself by myself.
再说 我比你更需要钱 Besides, I need the money more than you.
但是是我告诉你有这个比赛的 But I was the one who told you about the contest!
对于这一点 我永远感激不尽 小朋友 And for that, I am eternally grateful, little buddy.
废柴舅舅
第二季 第三集
电波诚译
如果你真的穷成这样 那你拿什么租录音棚 If you're so broke, how are you going to pay for a studio?
有个朋友欠我人情 A friend owes me a favour.
为什么 For what?
这样说吧 当警察突袭了他的派对的时候 Let's just say that when the pigs raided his house party,
他的非法藏品都神奇地消失了 his incriminating stash magically disappeared.
我连续一周都大便不通 I couldn't crap straight for a week.
Andy Andy.
Hugo 这是我外甥 Errol Hugo, this is my nephew, Errol.
请不要告诉别人 因为如果被我老板Jerry发现的话 Please don't tell anyone about this because if my boss Jerry finds out,
他真的会把我的头割下来插在长矛上 he'll literally cut my head off, put it on a pike
或者把我的蛋蛋割掉放在我嘴里 or cut my nuts off and put 'em in my mouth.
把我的脚割掉做成手 Cut my feet off, make 'em into hands.
别紧张 我们能想象得到 Relax, we get the picture.
然后他会解雇我 Then he'll sack me.
我会害你被解雇吗 Would I get you the sack?
很可能 Probably.
到了 记住你们只能用到两点 兄弟们 Here she is. Remember you've only got until two, guys.
等下还有一个乐队 所以 There's another band in afterwards so...
噢 我们不是乐队 是个人独唱 Oh, we're not a band. This is a solo thing.
你是为这个孩子创作的吗 不错啊 哥们 You're producing for the kid? Nice one, brother.
噢 如果你需要技术援助 Oh, and if you need any engineering help,
我在往一万小时努力 现在只需9958个小时了 I'm trying to get my 10,000 hours. Only got 9,958 to go.
不用了 我们很快就好 Not necessary. It's only a quick job.
分分钟的事 In and out...
噢 有人纵酒一夜啊 得了震颤性谵妄吗 Ooh, someone's had a boozy night? Got the DTs?
一种急性脑综合征 多发生于酒依赖患者突然断酒或突然减量
我得了流感 I've got the flu.
你应该打疫苗的 小声点 Jerry听力像蝙蝠一样 Should've got the jab. Keep it down. Jerry's got bat ears.
对了 连体衣不错 哪儿买的 Nice onesie, by the way. Where'd you get it from?
好吧 待会儿见噢 OK! See you in a bit, then!
*末路英雄* *Last place hero*
喔喔喔 等等 <末路英雄> Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait, wait, wait, Last Place Hero
是咱们没录的歌里的 是我写的词 is one of our unrecorded songs. I wrote the lyrics.
我谱的曲 所以如果我把词换一下 And I wrote the melody, so if I change the lyrics,
就是一首新歌 then it's a new song.
*一路向赢 一路向输* *There's a way to win And a way to lose*
*若你是个英雄 如同尼禄一样* *If you're a hero Just like Nero*
等等 等等 Hold on, hold on
尼禄皇帝在他的花园里 Emperor Nero burned
火烧基督徒来照明 Christians in his garden as a source of light.
那 也许我说的是尼禄乐队 Well, maybe I mean the band Nero.
现在开始如果你有任何问题 先举手 And if you've got any questions from now on, raise your hand.
*末路英雄* *Last place hero*
*风趣如同德尼罗* *Fun like Robert De Niro*
- 什么 - 罗伯特·德尼罗才不风趣 - What?! - Robert De Niro is not fun.
很显然你从来没看过<午夜狂奔> Clearly you've never seen Midnight Run.
那部设定在土耳其监狱的电影吗 The film set in the Turkish prison?
那是<午夜快车> 你真是啥也不懂 That's Midnight Express! Do you know nothing?!
好了 我正在试着写点深奥的东西 Now, here I am just trying to write something that's a little bit profound.
你想怎样 What do you want?
你想让我写什么 很重要吗 You want me to write something, what, that's important?
你想要一首关于回收利用的歌吗 What like a song about recycling?
*回收利用 回收利用 让人激动* *Recycling, recycling It is so exciting*
*若要赚钱 回收利用* *If you want a way to earn some cash*
*把你垃圾 重新使用* *Why not go return your trash*
喔 那就是你想要的吗 Whoa! Is that what you want?
等一下 这是个彻头彻尾的谎言 Wait a minute that's a blatant lie.
回收利用是赚不到钱的 You can't make cash from recycling.
好吧 别碰任何东西 我数三下你就按录音键 All right, now don't touch anything. Just push record on three.
所以你是说 让我在不碰任何东西的前提下按下录音键 So, you don't want me to touch anything but you want me to press record?
我说的不清楚吗 Did I stutter?
不是 只是 No. It's just...
我怎么能什么都不碰 却按下录音键呢 how am I going to not touch anything yet press record?
噢 你明白我的意思 数到三按下去就是了 Oh, you know what I mean. Just push it on three.
为了保险起见 我还是数到二就按吧 I think I'll go... I think I'll go on two just to be safe.
那我数到三有什么意义 Then what's the point in me counting to three?
给你点缓冲时间啊 Well, it's a cushion.
我不需要缓冲 I don't need a cushion!
你在逼我吼你 You're making me yell now!
- 我怎么可能逼你吼什么 - 数到三 按下去 - I can't make you yell. - Just push it on three!
一 二 三 One...two...three.
妥妥搞定 咱们听听吧 I nailed it. Let's hear it back.
我以为我只被允许按录音键 I thought I was only allowed to press record?
按播放键就是了 Just press play.
"那我数到三有什么意义" 'Then what's the point of me counting to three?!
- "给你点缓冲时间" - "我不需要缓冲" - 'It's a cushion' - 'I don't need a cushion'
- "你在逼我吼你" - "我怎么可能逼你吼什么" - 'You're making me yell now' - I can't make you yell'
"数到三 按下去" 'Just push it on three!
"一 二" 'One, two...'
我刚录的那段美妙音频怎么了 What happened to that amazing track I just recorded?
哎哟 我可能不小心 Oops. Looks like I might have accidentally
无意间早按到录音键了 pressed record a bit earlier without realising it.
起码我确实数到二就按了 At least I went on two.
你是在耍我嘛 You're sabotaging me!
耍你 拜托 如果我想耍你 你根本发现不了 Sabotage? Please, if I was sabotaging you, you wouldn't even know.
- 我会像摩萨德一样 - 谁是摩萨德 - I'd be like Mossad. - Who's Mossad?
以色列情报局 他们是业界翘楚 The Israeli secret service. They're the best!
嘘 我在大厅里都能听见你们的声音 Shh, I can hear you guys in the lobby.
是嘛 那说明这个房间需要更好的隔音设施 Well, then you need better sound-proofing in here, then.
- 啥事 - 我发了你说的那个假老二短信 他回了 - What? - I sent your strap-on text and he wrote back,
"看来你觉得我是个坏男孩 你想做什么" "Sounds like I've been a bad boy. What're you going to do?"
我该回什么 What should I write?
就说"我要到人事部告你" Just write "I'm reporting you to Human Resources."
- 我挂电话了 再见 - Andy - I'm hanging up now. Bye. - Andy?!
- Hugo - 有东西坏了吗 - Hugo? - Is something broken?
你有时间吗 能不能下来帮我录点东西 Have you got a minute to come down and record something for me?
噢 什么 你需要我的帮助吗 Oh, what, you need my help?
不是"帮助" 是辅助 Not "Help." Assistance.
哦 对 就像当你留了八字胡的时候 Oh, right, you mean like when you grow a moustache
你又没剃掉周围的脸毛 and you let your face hair grow around it
大家会说"你留了络腮胡啊" and people are like, "Do you have a beard?"
而你回答"不 我这是八字胡" and you're like, "No, I've got a moustache".
看 这才是正确的录制方式 And THAT'S how you record a track.
干得好 Hugo Nice work, Hugo.
现在 我只要完成歌词就行了 Now all I've got to do is finish off these lyrics.
你不觉得可以加入一些电子琴演奏吗 Do you not think this could maybe use some keyboard?
噢 有意思 我就是键盘手 Oh, that's funny, I play keyboards,
但是某人就是不想让我帮忙 but someone doesn't want my help.
是吗 我觉得可以加一些电音 Really? 'Cause I think this could use a little EDM vibe.
我要合进去试试 I'm just going to jump in.
我只为最大熊值演奏 But I only play keyboards for The Bear Maximum.
所以 就算你求我 我也不会帮你的 So I wouldn't play them for you if you begged.
噢 是吗 如果这是我的遗愿呢 Oh, really? And what if it was my dying wish?
那真是有史以来最可悲的遗愿了 That would be the saddest dying wish ever.
抱歉 那你的酷炫遗愿是什么 I'm sorry. What's your awesome dying wish, then?
希望我的骨灰能送到太空去 I'd like to have my ashes sent into space.
最好能到木卫二 Preferably towards Europa.
做梦吧你 Never going to happen.
美国航空局才不管一个英国熊孩子的骨灰呢 NASA don't care about the ashes of some dead British kid.
太贵了 It's too expensive.
这是我的遗愿 不考虑花费问题 But it's my dying wish. Money's no object.
这么说的话 我的遗愿就是让你拿着我的吉他 In that case, my dying wish is for you to take my guitar
爬上珠穆朗玛峰 up to the top of Mount Everest.
珠穆朗玛峰 那里是死亡区啊 Mount Everest? That's in the Death Zone.
你知道他们用什么当路标吗 Do you know what they use for landmarks there?
- 死尸 - 谁管这个 - Dead bodies. - Who cares?!
我倾家荡产把你骨灰送上太空了 I've just gone broke sending your ashes into outer space!
不敢相信 你不愿为我这么做 I can't believe you won't do this for me!
要是我们最后都死了 那遗愿还有什么意义 What's the point in a dying wish if we both end up dead?
伙计们 听听这个 Guys! Listen to this.
不错啊 这是你编的吗 That's good. Is that generated?
鼓声是 The drums are, yeah.
但是 贝斯部分是我从上周来的 But I actually sampled the bass from a session
一个乐队录的样品里截的 we had with a band last week.
我们能用吗 Can we use that?
呃 我们得找那个贝斯手来 Er... we'll have to get the bass guitarist to come in
现场录制一段 不过他那么酷 又有才 and do a live version but he's really cool, genuine,
平易近人 还有纹身 down to earth, great tattoos.
我相信他会帮我这个忙的 I'm pretty sure he'd do me a favour.
好吧 请他来 Well, get him in!
*你是末路英雄* *You're a last place hero*
*懦弱者的绝望 皮条客的希望* *Last place for wimps And first place for pimps...*
- Andy舅舅 - 我不会改的 - Uncle Andy? - I'm not changing that.
你知道想找个跟懦弱者押韵的词有多难吗 Do you know how hard it is to find a rhyme for wimps?
瘸子 瞥眼 猩猩 卷发 虾米 Limps, glimpse, chimps, crimps, shrimps.
不过我想说的不是这个 That's not what I was going to say, though.
如果你让我重返乐队 我一分奖金都不要 If you let me back in the band, I'll let you keep the prize.
休想 No deal.
伙计们 见见Casper Guys, meet Casper.
我操 Fuck.
嘿 你们好 Hey, guys.
我太抱歉了 要是我知道 I'm so sorry. If I'd known...
你去哪儿 Where are you going?
小子 我宁愿把老二切了 换个仙人掌装上 Kid, I'd rather have my cock amputated and replaced by a cactus
也不愿意给你舅舅伴奏 than play on your uncle's track.
我们真的不该在走廊上说话 We really shouldn't be talking in the hallway.
Jerry能闻到人味儿 Jerry can smell people.
Errol 我知道你不理解为什么我们大人总是干架 Errol, I'm sure you don't understand why us grown-ups keep fighting
而且我们不能为了音乐放下成见 and we can't put our differences aside in the name of music,
但是 生活就是这样的 but life just doesn't work like that,
再说了 你舅舅对待我男朋友太混蛋了 plus your uncle is a dick to my boyfriend.
你们没看清形势 You're looking at this all wrong.
如果你们想让Andy舅舅不爽 If you want to get under Uncle Andy's skin,
你就应该给他伴奏 you need to play on his track.
这样一来 每当他听到这个曲子 他就想到你们 That way, every time he listens to it, he'll hear you.
不管这歌有多棒 它都永永远远地被毁了 No matter how good the song is, it'll be ruined forever.
好吧 我们开工 All right, let's do this.
嘿 伙计 你不能给我伴奏 Hey mate, you're not playing on my track.
你到底要不要贝斯手 Do you need bass or not?
没人需要贝斯手 Nobody needs bass.
你咋一副屎样 看着比平时更糟 得艾滋了 You look like shit. Like worse than usual. You got the HIV?
- 我感冒了 - 你该打疫苗的 - I've got the flu. - Should've got the jab.
听着 要是你敢用Hugo的样品曲子 Listen, if you use Hugo's sample,
我会把你告到连裤衩都不剩 I'll sue you till your arse is sore.
好了 贝斯录制 第一条 All right. Live bass. Take one.
肯定一条过 伙计 Only going to need one take, mate.
这是什么 What's that?
生锈的长号 It's a rusty trombone.
我都不想问那是什么了 I don't even want to know what that one is.
一 二 一 二 One, two... one, two...
- 宝贝 不介意吧 - 怎么了 - Babe, do you mind? - What?
宝贝 你的手机 Babe, your phone.
哦 一下下就好 宝贝 我打到最后一关了 Oh, yeah, one second, babe. I'm just on the last level.
宝贝 关掉你那个操蛋的手机 Babe! Turn your fuckin' phone off!
弹你的小贝斯去吧 Just play your little bass.
够了 首先 这不是小贝斯 OK, first off, this isn't a little bass,
这明明是个挺大的贝斯 it's actually quite a big bass.
其次 对我的演奏表示一点尊重可以吗 And secondly, show some respect for my process.
你的演奏蠢爆了 You're process is dumb!
好 去他的 Right, fuck this.
第一条录制中断 And that's a cut on take one.
叩叩 准备摇滚一下吗 刚才那是Casper吗 Knock, knock, are you ready to rock?! Did I just see Casper?
妈 你来干什么 Mum? What are you doing here?
噢 这是你妈妈 酷 Oh, this is your mum? Cool.
你怎么找来的 How did you find us?
Roly发推特写了地址 Roly tweeted your location.
所以说 最大熊值再次合体吗 So are The Bear Maximum really back together?
没有 我知道你想干嘛 我关了手机 No. I know what you're doing. I switched my phone off,
所以你跑来找我帮你写性爱短信 so you come here to get me to write a sext for you.
切 我有那么饥渴吗 Pfft, as if I'd be that desperate.
不过既然来了 But by the way,
如果你收到一条短信 问你是不是个小淫娃 if you did get a text asking if you've been a filthy girl,
你会说什么 then what would you say?
嗯 问得好 Hmm, good question.
只要你能劝Gwen去找Casper和好 我就告诉你 And I'll answer that as soon as you get Gwen to make up with Casper.
那你干点啥 So, what are you going to do?
让Casper去找Gwen和好 Get Casper to make up with Gwen.
你穿的是连体衣吗 Is that a onesie?
想聊聊吗 Want to talk about it?
- 不 - 好吧 - No. - Works for me.
我是说 她是怎么回事 I mean, what is her problem?
我们刚开始约会的时候 她每晚都坐在第一排 When we were first dating, she would be sat in that front row every single night
盯着我看 眼睛里充满了欲火 staring at me with those fuck-me eyes.
是啊 那双眼睛总是离不开你 Yeah, and those eyes have been around.
现在 她连看都不愿看我一眼 Now it's like she won't even look at me.
感觉我变成你了 It's like I'm you.
嗨 Jerry 还好吗 你还在混音呢 对吧 Hi, Jerry, you all right? You're still in the mix, right?
不 不 不 我没忘 我现在就去 No-no-no, I didn't forget. I can come over now.
不 我可以 好的 我在电话这边记下你点的餐 No, I can take... OK, I'll take your order on the phone.
好 对 OK, right.
金枪鱼 芥末酱 无麸金枪鱼卷饼 好的 Tuna mustard, gluten-free tuna wrap, right, yeah.
洋葱 生菜 碎甘蓝 Onion, lettuce, kale chips.
- 啊 在这儿呢 - 你想在金枪鱼卷饼里加洋葱 好的 - Ah, there it is. - You want onion on the tuna wrap? Ok.
无糖功能饮料 对吧 Diet energy drink, yeah?
- 牛磺酸 不要含核酸的 - 还有比你更挑剔食物的 - Taurine, no guarine... - Thought you were the food Nazi.
无咖啡因豆奶 再加一个三角巧克力 Decaf soya milk. And one Toblerone.
好 加三只脚 Yeah, heavy on the Tobes.
是 并不有趣 你说的对 No, it's not funny, you're right. OK.
好了 我得出去一趟 Right. I've got to go.
Jerry低血糖的时候会变身红巨人 Jerry turns into the Red Hulk when he's hypoglycaemic.
红巨人 漫威漫画中的角色 布鲁斯·班纳的岳父
记住 你们只能待到两点 好吗 Remember, you guys have only got till two, OK?
她想尽各种方法来羞辱我 I mean, she finds every way to try and humiliate me.
前几天 她戴个假老二想上我 The other day she tried to do me with a strap-on.
她对你做过这事吗 She ever do that to you?
当然没有 Pfft, no!
但我听说还蛮爽的哦 Although I've heard it's not actually that bad.
前列腺是个被人们忽视的器官 And that the prostate is quite an under-appreciated organ.
不过假阳具确实挺逊的 But, er, yeah - strap-ons - lame.
你们在聊什么呢 What're you talking about?
Errol 我们什么也没聊 Errol, er, we're not talking about anything.
我真的很讨厌你们这样 我都快14岁了 I hate when you do that! I'm nearly 14 now,
我能接受得了 说吧 I can take it. I'm ready.
女人在和别的女人 甚至和男人做爱时 A strap-on's a dildo that women will strap-on like a belt
会戴着一个像皮带一样挂在腰上的假阳具 in order to have sex with other women and sometimes men.
- 我还是个孩子 - 你到底是来有什么事 - I wasn't ready. - What are you doing here anyway?
Hugo去给Jerry买午餐了 Hugo's just gone to get Jerry's lunch.
他说时间紧迫 为什么假阳具还会用在男的身上 He says that time's running out. Why would you use it on a man?
因为感觉爽歪歪 Because it feels great.
你懂的 显然很爽 You know, apparently.
等等 你是说一个男的 Wait, are you saying a man...
被操菊花去吧 如果他以为我会道歉的话 Can stick it up his arse if he thinks I'm going to apologise!
有时我会想象着把他的 You know, sometimes I imagine
小弟弟剪成一枚枚硬币来取悦自己 cutting his cock into little coins to relax myself.
- 嗷 - 他太紧张了 - Ow! - He's just so intense.
每次做爱他都奋不顾肾 只是为了所谓的男人的骄傲 I mean, he makes sex go on for hours just for the ego of it.
但其实无聊至极 你能理解吗 It's boring, you know?
确实很无聊 好讨厌噢 That's so boring. Back off, Sting.
感觉就像有只比特犬在咬我 I feel like I'm being bitten by a pit bull
怎么甩也甩不掉它 and I can't shake it off.
我听说过阻止比特犬咬你的最好方法就是 I heard the best way to stop a pit bull biting you is to
用你的手指捅它菊花 stick your finger up its bum.
所以或许你应该用你的手指来操翻生活 So maybe you should just stick your finger up the bum of life.
说得对 而且我还要戴着戒指 Yeah, I'm not even going to take my rings off.
下次见到Casper 我一定要跟他分手 Next time I see Casper, I'm definitely breaking up with him.
好的 所以 Cool. Um, so...
你会写性爱短信吗 are you any good at sexting?
我收到了这条 Cos I've got this...
宝贝 Babe?
我也希望我能说这次的合作很愉快 Well, I wish I could say it's been a pleasure.
我也一样 The feeling's mutual.
我错过了什么 Boo! So what did I miss?
正准备把这货踢出去 把歌词写完 Just about to kick this lot out and then finish off the lyrics,
录吉他演奏 回家 然后 record the guitar, go home and...
我的歌词去哪儿了 Where are my lyrics?
别盯着我 记住 摩萨德 Don't look at me. Mossad, remember.
我有可能用它的背面来写Jerry的午餐订单了 I may have written Jerry's lunch order on the back of them.
那它现在在哪儿呢 And where are they now?
- 在某条街上的某个垃圾桶里 - Hugo - In a bin, on the high street. - Hugo!
嘘 Jerry Shh, Jerry.
我要是告诉你我现在灵感如泉涌会不会不好 Oh, is it a bad time to tell you I had a major brainwave?
我觉得这个调调可以配合吉他伴奏 I think this tune could do with some rhythm guitar to really
- 让和弦变得丰满 - 我不想要"丰满"的和弦 - fatten up the strings. - I don't want fat strings!
我要的是低保真那样的效果 I'm looking for that lo-fi singer-song-writery vibe.
咖啡店烂歌 Coffee shop.
是哦 还不是星巴克 Yeah, and not even Starbucks.
- 我同意 - 我也是 - Kind of agree, mate. - Yeah, me too.
没人问你 Nobody asked you!
我没有时间为吉他演奏录音和写新的歌词了 And I've not got time to record the guitar and write new lyrics.
Gwen可以帮你啊 Gwen could do it.
噢 你是认真的 Gwen又不会弹吉他 Oh... You're being serious. Gwen can't play guitar.
我们是在一家吉他行里认识的 We met in a guitar shop.
你去那就是为了勾搭音乐人 Yeah. You were there picking up musicians.
但我也是为了要买吉他啊 But I was also... buying a guitar.
少来了 女孩没有什么真本事 No deal. Girls can't shred.
你说什么 那Lita Ford Er... What?! How about Lita Ford,
Joan Jett Courtney Love Charro你怎么说 Joan Jett, Courtney Love, Charro?
哦 我爱死Charro了 Oh, I love Charro.
Nancy Wilson Kim Deal Nancy Wilson. Kim Deal.
Kim Deal是个贝斯手 这是专属女生的乐器 Kim Deal's a bassist. That is an official girl's instrument.
好吧 你不想要女生参与录制 All right, you don't want a girl on your track -
那我删掉我娘炮的贝斯好了 maybe I'll just delete my girlie bass?
- 哪个调 - E调 - And the key is? - It's in E.
用C调不是更好吗 Wouldn't it sound better in C?
我们所有的乐器 Well, we've already recorded all
都是用E调录的好吗 天才 the other instruments in E, haven't we, genius?
可是C这个调更商业化 Well, C is a more commercial key.
可你又不是Katy Perry Yeah, if you're Katy Perry.
别黑我的水果姐 Hey, don't diss Katy.
Gwen以为Blink 182是一支朋克乐队 Gwen thinks Blink 182's a punk band.
闭嘴吧 瞧你那熊样 Oi, shut up, dick face.
谢谢大家的演奏 Well, thank you all for playing, everyone.
我会永远感激你们的 I'll always be eternally grateful,
现在你们可以全部给老子滚了 now if you'll all kindly fuck off.
什么 又怎么了 What? What now?
我觉得需要现场鼓声 I think it needs live drums.
但你之前说为了显得"酷"和"新鲜" But you said it needed a more electronic beat
拍子应该电子化一点 to make it sound "Dope" And "Fresh".
是 但是现在听起来太电子化了 Yeah, but now it sounds a little too EDM.
需要更仿真一点 Needs to be more analogue.
哦 天啊 Oh, God...
你好 好的 Hello? OK.
Jerry来了 大家快藏起来 马上 求你们了 Jerry's coming, please, everyone hide, right now, please.
我让你给我买三角巧克力 你是哪里不明白 What do you not understand about get me a Toblerone?
你耳朵里是进精液了吗 Is there spunk between your ears?
- 没有 Jerry - 所有人都知道我Jerry午饭后 - No, Jerry. - Everyone knows when Jerry's done with lunch,
要吃他妈的三角巧克力 Jerry eats fuckin' Toblerone!
我不管你有什么愚蠢的借口 I don't care whatever fuckwit excuse you come up with.
如果再有下次 我就把你的蛋蛋钉到墙上 If it happens again, I'm gonna staple your balls to the wall,
把屎塞你嘴里 然后用格莱美奖杯捅你菊花 shit down your throat and then stick a Grammy up your arse,
我一点儿不在乎 因为我有很多座 because who cares, I've got so many of them,
最后 老子会炒了你 and then, I'll fire you.
- 我食言过吗 - 没有 你说话从来算话 Jerry - What about my word? - You never go back on your word, Jerry.
太他妈对了 我从不食言 打起精神 Hugo Fuck right, I don't. Get it together, Hugo!
你个无关紧要的小鸡鸡蠢货 You insignificant needle-dick prick!
你们应该听听我忘了给他买零食时他是怎么骂我的 You should have heard him when I forgot his Twiglets.
如果你想要现场鼓声 我们就换一下 If you want live drums, you can have live drums.
这么短的时间内要上哪儿弄个鼓 Where are we gonna find a drummer at such short notice?
你确定你能行吗 Are you sure you can do this?
你来月经初潮前我就在朋克乐队里混了 I was playing in punk bands before you got your first period.
有我听过的乐队吗 Any I've heard of?
尖叫阴道 脸上一脚 尿尿 细高跟睾丸撞击者 Screaming Vaginas. Face Kick. Piss. Stiletto Testicle Smashers.
铁肺 漂亮男孩 Iron Lung. Mandy Boy.
漂亮男孩玩的是新浪潮 That one was new wave.
所以这首歌叫什么名字 So, what is this song called?
叫做末路英雄 It's called Last Place Hero.
好有邦乔维乐队的感觉 Ugh, sounds like Bon Jovi.
- 邦乔维乐队是谁 - 他们是音乐界中的假阳具 - Who are Bon Jovi? - They're the strap-ons of music.
真是宝刀未老呀 Still got it.
好的 你有30分钟的时间把这些声乐搞定 All right, you got about 30 minutes to get these vocals nailed.
我希望这些优美的歌词能行噢 Andy舅舅 I hope these great lyrics are ready to go, Uncle Andy?
妈妈 别咯咯咯地笑了 不然我就把你手机扔了 Mum, stop giggling or I'm going to throw your phone!
瞧我养大的是个什么啊 一个扔手机的人吗 天啊 Is that what I've raised? A phone thrower? Wow!
- 给我 - 大伙们 现在可不是时候 - Give it to me. - Guys, not now.
不要 我可是个成年人 我爱给谁发短信就给谁发 No. I'm an adult. It's my business who I text.
你和他睡了 对吗 You're sleeping with him, aren't you?
是又怎么样 别因为你是从我的阴道里出来的 What if I am? Just because you came out of my vagina,
- 你就可以决定谁可以进去 - 嘘 Jerry - it doesn't mean you can control who goes in it! - Shh, Jerry.
- 我们走吧 - 你开什么玩笑 - Shall we go? - Are you kidding?
好戏才刚刚开始 This is just starting to get good.
你根本不了解这个男人 You don't even know this guy,
他可能是个连环杀手 或许更糟 he could be a serial killer. Or worse.
可能是个素食者 Vegan.
你们能不能闭嘴 Will you shut up!
闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴 闭嘴 Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
坐那的Sid和Nancy两位 还有Hugo 你和你"丰满"的吉他 Between Sid and Nancy there, and Hugo with your fat guitars,
朋克鼻祖"性手枪"乐队的贝斯手Sid 杀死女友Nancy后多次入狱 最后自杀身亡
Sam 你和你的性爱短信 有没有搞错啊 你都快40了 and Sam with your sexting, seriously! You're almost 40.
像个成人一样用电话语音做爱行吗 Have phone sex with the man like an adult!
我的老天爷啊 Val 你没什么事 I mean, Jesus Christ, Val, I mean, you're all right.
但你小子 为什么不能让你妈妈沉浸在自己的 But you - why don't you just let your mum get on with her own
爱情生活里 反而一直干涉她 love life instead of interfering all the time?
如果她想要的是连环杀手 随她去 If she wants to get serial killed, it's up to her.
你把我从我的临终之床拽到这里 You dragged me out of my deathbed to come here
却一直在干扰我 and all you've done is screwed with me.
一整天都是 你知道你是什么吗 你就是一个 All day long! Do you know what you are? You're a...
- 他已经失控了 - 嗯 - He's just lost it, hasn't he? - Hmm.
有所作为一下 你们 .. and try and do anything! You...
你说完了吗 Are you finished?
36才不是将近40 而且穿连体衣的人可不是我 36 is not almost 40. And I'm not the one wearing a onesie.
末路英雄 声乐 走起 Last Place Hero, vocal, take one.
*末路英雄* *Last place hero...*
开头不错哦 Good start.
*末路* *Last place...*
别盯着我看 Stop looking at me!
我可以的 给我点时间 I can do it. Just give me a minute.
*英* *He-e-e...*
*英* *He-e-e*
*英 英英雄* *He-e-e... ro.*
听起来像一个电锯在操另一个电锯 He sounds like a chainsaw fucking another chainsaw.
刚只是开开嗓 再一次 我行的 That was just a practice. I'll get it next time.
谁能想到有一天我们会这样出来玩 Who'd have thought one day we'd be hanging out like this, eh?
Val 不用说好听话哄我 You don't need to cheer me up, Val.
我要透透气 I need the fresh air.
而且你姐姐一直拿短信的事骚扰我 Plus your sister wouldn't stop bothering me about her texts.
- 我得流感了 - 我打了疫苗 - I've got the flu. - I've had the jab.
啥味道都没有 Doesn't taste of anything.
不过比尼古丁口香糖要好 那玩意儿让我脾气暴躁 It's better than that Nicotine gum, though.That stuff just gave me a temper.
你吗 不是吧 You? No way.
我曾是一位挺好的音乐家 You know, I was a pretty good musician.
本能靠这工作过上体面的日子 Could have made a decent living out of it.
上个乐队的经纪人不干了 我就开始安排演出 Then the last band, the manager quit, so I started booking gigs,
然后我在酒吧安排活动 到现在 and then I was managing events in clubs and now,
我有了自己的酒吧 I have my own club.
你想说什么 What's your point?
Andy 成为明星的方式不止一种 There's more than one way to be a star, Andy.
对了 连身裤不错哈 Nice jumpsuit, by the way.
*你落后于人* *You lag behind*
*走走停停 一直重复* *You've constantly been overlapped*
*我举起帽子* *I raise my hat*
*看你如此 逃离现在* *I'm impressed that you really ran with being crap...*
不好意思 就是随便唱唱 Sorry. Just messing about.
我靠 又来这一套了 Oh, shit, not this again.
Gwen 你能赏光 Gwen, will you do me the honour
在我的歌里当主唱吗 of singing lead vocals on my song?
除非你用Errol的歌词 Only if we use Errol's lyrics.
Roly 你意下如何 Well, Roly? What do you say?
好吧 Ok.
不过我有个条件 Only on one condition.
不敢相信我要这么做了 I can't believe I'm doing this.
嘘 我要完全的安静 Shhh. I need complete silence.
同志们 你们只有7分钟录音时间了 Guys, you know you've only got seven minutes to get this vocal.
- 随便一说啦 - 这让我想起了我的戒毒互助组 - Just saying. - This reminds me of my NA meetings.
- 你参加的哪一个 - 诺丁山的贵格中心 - Oh, which one do you go to? - Quaker Centre, Notting Hill.
- 噢 我去过 那里人很好 - 是啊 他们 - Oh, I've been there. Good crowd. - Yeah, they're...
别聊了 Guys!
敬爱的美国著名天文学家Carl Sagan的尸体 Dear corpse of famed American astronomer, Carl Sagan.
请用您干枯的遗体中释放出的有机分子 Please bless us with the organic molecules that have been released
来保佑我们 from your desiccated remains.
看看这录音室 Look over the studio,
可怜的好人Hugo和Gwen美妙的嗓音 poor gentle Hugo and Gwen's beautiful vocals
还有我完美的歌词让这首歌更出彩 and my amazing lyrics to help this song shine.
现在让Andy得到他应得的 Now Andy can get everything that he deserves.
才怪 Nothing.
- 摩萨德 小婊砸 - Errol 你干什么啊 - Mossad, bitch! - Errol! What are you doing?
如果你不让我演奏自己的音轨 If you won't let me play on my own track,
我就删了所有东西 倒数三秒 I'm going to delete the whole project on three.
- Roly 亲爱的 冷静一下 - 一 - Roly, darling, just calm down. - One...
- 他不知道怎么删的 - 二 - He doesn't know how to delete the project. - Two...
不要啊 你说了倒数三秒的 No! You said you were going to go on three!
可我数到二就动手 Well, I went on two.
噢 嗨 是这间屋子吗 Oh, hi, is this the right room?
抱歉 我们马上就结束了 谢谢了 Sorry, we're just wrapping up in here. Thanks.
这本该是我们愉快的一天 This was supposed to be our fun day
但什么事情都是围着你转 and you made it all about you!
不是所有的歌都需要键盘手的 Errol Not everything wants keyboards, Errol
不是每一首歌都需要 Not every single song, Errol.
对不对 我说的对吧 Am I right? I'm right, guys.
沙滩男孩乐队确实需要 Well, it worked for the Beach Boys.
- 还有治疗乐队 - 深紫乐队 - And The Cure. - And Deep Purple.
- 新秩序乐队 - 平克·弗洛伊德乐队 - New Order. - Pink Floyd.
还有大门乐队 The Doors.
兄弟 你太过分了 That is so effed-up, man.
你外甥不过是想和你一起演奏 All your nephew wanted was to play with his uncle.
真丢脸 Shame on you.
可是我生病了 But I'm sick!
没错 你是有病 You're right, man. You are sick.
靠 Shit.
Errol 对不起 I'm sorry, Errol.
如果能跟你重录 我愿意 If I could re-record it with you, I would.
但我能怎么样 我们没时间了 But what can I do? We're out of time.
你还有5分钟 Look, you've got five minutes left.
你能不能现场录一遍呢 Couldn't you just record the whole thing live?
Sam 这 Sam, it...
这是个好主意 That's a great idea.
加油 白痴们 Good luck, dickheads!
抱歉我删了录音 希望这次能有好结果 I'm sorry for trashing the project. I hope this turns out good.
别在意结果 享受过程就行了 Don't worry about good. Just try and have fun.
这首歌是C调 Val 你给节拍开始 Right, this song's in C. On your cue, Val.
*人们总是说 凡事参与好* *We're always told it's all about the taking part*
*你干得漂亮* *Well, woop-dee-doo and well done, you*
*你把那些话 牢记在心上* *You took that sentiment to heart*
*你落后于人* *You lag behind*
*走走停停 不断重复* *You've constantly been overlapped*
*我举起帽子* *I raise my hat*
*看你如此 听天由命* *I'm impressed that you've really ran with being crap*
- *末路英雄* - *再来一次 重新出发* - *Last place hero* - *Here we go again, here we go again*
*重回完美* *You're perfect again*
*又居末尾* *Coming last again*
*你还是不了解* *You can't know again*
*你又回到正轨* *You're on show again*
*你又情绪低落* *Feeling low again*
*你又表现消沉* *Acting real slow again*
- *末路英雄* - *你又开始冒犯 你又失去伪装* - *Last place hero* - *You offend again, can't pretend again*
*带着悔意抱歉* *Still regrets again*
*复仇之旅开始* *Getting your revenge again*
*你一无所有* *You're really slumming it*
*你贫困潦倒* *You're really slumming it now*
*但你要知道 做自己最好* *But you should know that you're the best at being you*
*行为的失检 才让人遗憾* *The pity is how shitty is everything you fuckin' do*
*我们都是错 唯独你对了* *We're all wrong and you're the only that's right*
*你竭尽全力* *You've tried your best*
*生活一团糟 你再次跌倒* *You failed the test surrounded in your self-made shite*
*花钱如流水 暖气费都没* *Can't afford your heating cos your money's always spent*
*房租交不出 东西买不起* *Scraping every penny cos you're always low on rent*
*过贫民生活 你自有一套* *You're so good at slumming it that you could be the coach*
*手握中奖票 用来卷大麻* *Had the winning ticket but you've used it for a roach*
*错过生日趴 总是不准时* *Always missing birthdays and you're never there on time*
*青春已逝去 还活在20岁* *Living like you're 20 even though you're past your prime*
*末路 末路* *Last place, last place*
*人人都承认 你无可救药* *Everyone should just admit you're absolutely smashing it now.*
- 噢天 - 怎么了 - Oh! - What?
没录下来 It didn't record.
开玩笑呢 哈哈 Only kidding. Yeah!
- Hugo - Jerry要灭了我 - Hugo! - Jerry's going to kill me.
我们不会让他得逞的 We won't let him, kid.
你不了解情况 他很壮的 No, you know you don't understand. Jerry's really strong!
他练交叉混合健身的 He does cross-fit.
这他妈都是谁 Who the fuck are these people?
我们是最大熊值乐队 We're The Bear Maximum.
这是我听过最傻缺的乐队名 That's the dumbest name I've ever heard.
Hugo 我要把你的牙齿打过你的鸡巴 Hugo, I'm going to punch your teeth out through your dick,
不过首先 我要炒了你 but first, you're fired.
你不能炒了他 他是个好孩子 No! You can't do that. He's a good kid
他工作也很出色 And he's good at his job.
- 他怎么了 - 他得了流感 - What's wrong with him? - He's got the flu.
怎么了Jerry 还没打疫苗是吧 What's the matter, Jerry? Haven't had the jab?
Jerry不相信那些疫苗 Jerry doesn't believe in vaccines.
不传染给你岂不是很遗憾了 It'd be a shame to get you sick.
你离我远一点 Just stay away from me.
- 那就让他继续工作 - 没门 走开 滚远 - Then give Hugo his job back! - No, get away! Fuck off.
Jerry 你不知道我去过哪里 You don't know where I've been, Jerry.
也不知道我经历了什么 You don't know what I've been through in there.
别这样了 好 他可以继续工作 Just stop! OK, yes! He can have his job back.
- 你说啥就是啥 - 你确定吗 你发誓 - Whatever you say. - Do you swear it, Jerry? Do you swear it?
确定 我保证 你快住手 Yes! You have my word. Just stop.
那是别人为我做过的最恶心的事情了 That's the grossest thing anyone's ever done for me.
你们应该庆幸我没打疫苗了 对吧 Bet you're glad I haven't had the jab now, aren't you?
- 我在哪 - 你晕了之后我们把你送回来了 - Where...? - We brought you home after you passed out.
Val和Casper抬的你 我就在一边看着 Well, Val and Casper carried you. I watched.
你感觉好点没 You feeling better?
我再去拿点退烧药 I'll get you some more paracetamol.
歌曲交给比赛方了吗 Did you submit the song?
Hugo还在混音 我过几天再交 Hugo's still mixing it. I'll do it in a few days.
明天就是最后期限了啊 But the deadline's tomorrow!
我那么说只是想让你起来 No, I just said that to get you out of bed.
呃 我想了想 You know, erm, I've thought about it
如果你真想 我会带着你的吉他上珠穆朗玛峰 and I will take your guitar up Mount Everest if you really want.
- 你会吗 - 会的 - You'd do that? - Yeah.
不过我要先上15年的登山课 I will need 15 years of mountaineering lessons first.
所以 别死得太早 So, erm, don't die before that.
噢 水开了 Oh, the tea!
给 蠢货 Here you go, prick.
这可能不关我的事 Look, it's probably none of my business,
但如果你真的想跟他来真的 你该告诉他 but if you're going to get serious with this guy, you should probably tell him.
未知电话
有空聊聊吗 亲亲
没错 你说的对 Yeah, you're right.
这的确不关你的事 It's none of your business.
Sam 你个淘气包 想来电话性爱吗 'Sam, you naughty girl. You want to get kinky on the phone?'
Sam 'Sam?'
在吗 Sam Hello? Sam?
Sam 'Sam?'
电波字幕组 欢迎您的加入 官方网站:www.dbfansub.com 新浪微博:@电波字幕组