翻译: Sherry Olivia 加一
背景音乐 - The Proclaimers
*这个故事是关于 眼看某人在死去* *This is a story of watching a man dying*
校对: 脑残画家乖安宝 神经诗人怪查理
*这个话题不够火 可是我不想胡说* *The subject's unpopular but I don't feel like lying*
*不 不想 当我现在想起来* *No, no. When I think of it now,*
后期: 怪查理
*感觉自己是罪人* *I acted like a sinner*
*刚才把手洗一遍 大步奔跑向晚餐* *I just washed my hands and I went for my dinner...*
废柴舅舅
第二季 第六集
电波诚译
压制: 怪查理
今天我们来谈谈新开始 We're talking today about new beginnings.
四小时之前
那些生活中 你觉得自己需要改变的时刻 Moments in your life where you feel like it's time for a change.
总监: 怪查理
嗯 有电话接进来了 嗨 你的新面貌是什么 So, er, I'm on with a caller. Hi. What was your second chapter?
是这样 我曾在这个城市工作 So I used to work in the City...
你得放手 让她去吧 You're going to have to let her go.
可是 她没什么问题啊 But there's nothing wrong with her.
你只要换个前挡风玻璃 她就跟新的没两样了 All you've got to do is replace the windscreen, she's good as new.
伙计 这车比迪斯科还老古董 Mate, this car's deader than disco.
我不能昧着良心让你开她出门 I can't in any good conscience let you drive her out of here.
我知道 你是看到车上有Jamiroquai的磁带是吧 I get it. You found Jamiroquai in the tape deck?
Jamiroquai 上世纪九十年代的一支英国乐队
你听我解释 我只是喜欢怀旧风而已 Look, I can explain. I was feeling nostalgic!
和Jamiroquai没关系 It's not Jamiroquai.
现在的问题是 你骑鲨鱼缸都比开这车安全 Problem is, you'd be safer driving a shark tank.
你的变速器完全坏了 引擎轴承也磨损的不成样子 Your gear box is shot, your engine bearings are worn to shit
而且驾驶杆比旧船锚都锈得厉害 and your steering column's rustier than an old anchor.
说实在的 修好它的花费都够你买辆新车了 It'd actually be more expensive to fix it than buy a new car.
可是 我从大学起就开这辆车了 But I've had that car since uni!
我们一起经历了所有事情 We've been through everything together.
那些分手啊 宿醉啊 还有 The break-ups and the hangovers and...
我唯一一次三人行就发生在这车的后座 I had my only threesome in that back seat.
是嘛 哪种三人行 两女一男 还是两男一女 Yeah? What was it, girl-girl-boy or... boy-boy-girl?
三人行就是三人行呗 A threesome's a threesome!
关键是 我决不会抛弃她的 Point is, I'm not going to abandon her.
那个 你多大了 伙计 40还是41 Look, how old are you, mate? What, 40, 41?
- 我32岁 - 真的吗 - I'm 32. - Really?
听我说 难道你不觉得是时候换一辆 Look, don't you think you should start driving something
更成熟一点的车了吗 a little bit more... mature?
认清现实 伙计 你不再是大学生了 Face it, pal, you're not at uni any more.
二 三 .. two... three...
- Roly - 我不是强迫症犯了 - Roly? - It's not my OCD.
- 什么 - 没事 呃 妈妈来了吗 - What? - Nothing. Um, is mum here?
还没 你有空吗 去客厅聊一会吧 Not yet. Do you have a minute for a chat in the living room?
只要我还有脉搏 每个房间都是"活厅"(客厅) While I have a pulse, every room's a living room.
嘿 Roly Hey, Roly.
噢 是因为我重新整理了鞋架吗 Oh, is this about me reorganising the shoe rack?
抱歉 我把你的放在最下面了 Veronica I'm sorry I put yours on the bottom, Veronica.
只是 高跟鞋挨着地板看起来比较舒服 It's just, heels look better on floor level.
没事 那挺好的 No, it's fine.
而且 谢谢你把东西都按颜色整理好了 And thank you for colour coordinating everything,
看起来更 整齐了 it looks much... neater.
Veronica和我只是想告诉你 Veronica and I just want you to know
看到你对这一年各种事情的应对 我们真的很骄傲 we're so proud of how you've handled this last year.
过去一年发生了太多变动 There's been a lot of change.
我知道 我就是很大的一个变动 I know I'm a big part of that.
抱歉 我未经你允许就收藏了很多链接 And sorry I added those series links without your permission.
你处理得很好 表现出了真正的成熟 You've dealt with it all so admirably and shown real maturity.
不敢相信还有两周你就14岁了 I can't believe you're turning 14 in two weeks!
你就在我们眼前成长为小大人了 You're becoming a man in front of our eyes.
看起来你能应对任何事了 It's like you could cope with anything.
你看 Roly 其实吧 呃 Look, Roly, the thing is, um...
Veronica和我 Veronica and I are...
噢 肯定是妈妈 呃 下次再说吧 Oh! That'll be mum. Er, TBC guys.
他们逼我杀了我的车 They made me kill my car.
心碎得像看见莱西中弹一样 I feel like Lassie's just been shot.
莱西 <灵犬莱西>中的牧羊犬莱西 电影讲述它传奇般的归家之旅
我能进去吗 Can I come in?
你几个月都没个消息 现在说进就进吗 I don't hear from you for months and now you want to come in?
我们就不能退回那个"嘴对嘴"之前的状态吗 Can't we just go back to the way things were before the... K-I-S-S?
事情已经发生了 Andy It happened, Andy.
ChengShuDian G-r-o-w u-p.
- 成熟点 - 你得把空格说出来 - Grow up! - You should have said there was a space in it.
这样不对 抱歉 我现在就走 This was a mistake, I'm sorry, I'll go.
Ryan和我分手了 Ryan and I broke up.
你想让我跟他谈谈吗 Do you want me to have a word with him?
我是说 我可以告诉他 那全是我的错 I mean, I can tell him it was all my fault.
不 是我 我提出分手的 No, I... I broke it off.
他肯定会是个很好的丈夫 He'll make an amazing husband to somebody.
我只是 我还没准备好 I'm just... I'm not ready.
- 你在大扫除吗 - 是啊 呃 - You having a spring clean? - Yeah, er...
- 我要搬走了 - 我听说这一块的租金高得离谱 - I'm moving. - I heard that the rent round here is crazy town.
- 去美国 - 那你可以在南克里登找房子 - To America. - Well, you can start with South Croydon.
上下班交通比较便利 It'd make the commute easier.
其实 我看到了纽约的一家出版社的招聘信息 Actually, I-I saw a listing for a publishing house in New York.
在招编辑助理 Editor's assistant.
工资很少 不过 Shit pay, but, um,
在出版社工作一直是我的梦想 it's always been my dream to work in publishing.
我不知道你喜欢看书 I didn't know you liked books.
我是个英文老师 I'm an English teacher.
那你 什么时候走 So, when are you leaving?
今晚 Tonight.
知道吗 是你 你激励我做出了这个改变 Andy You know you-you inspired me to make this change, Andy.
你生活在灾难边缘 我也偶尔疯狂 You live on the edge of disaster and I could do with a bit of that.
我一直在努力想变得更成熟 Spent my life trying to be a grown-up and...
是时候为自己改变一次了 it's time to be selfish for a change.
对 可是 有点仓促吧 Yeah. Doesn't this seem a bit rash, though?
你说呢 Andy You tell me, Andy.
有什么理由值得我三思吗 Is there any reason I should give it a second thought?
我五点去希思罗机场 I leave for Heathrow at five.
*我永远也做不了你的女人* *I could never be your woman...*
这是White Town的经典曲目 And that was a classic track from White Town.
我们依然在讨论 We're still talking about
冒险一试 改变人生 taking a plunge and changing your life.'
你好 这位来电者 你叫什么名字 Hi, caller, what's your name?
嗨 我叫 呃 Zach Hi, it's, um... Zach.
嗨 Zach 有什么可以帮你的 Hi, Zach, what can we do for you?
那个 Well...
我从没想过这些事会发生在我身上 I never thought it would happen to me
有一天 我发现自己疯了似的陷入了 and then one day I found myself falling madly into
一个很严重的 a massive case of...
臭虫问题 the bed bugs.
突然之间 我发现那些臭虫计划着搬去美国 All of a sudden, I find out that the bed bugs are planning on moving to America
可我不确定自己是否想摆脱他们 and I'm not sure I want to get rid of them.
不 你肯定会想要摆脱臭虫的 No, you always want to get rid of bed bugs.
臭虫很糟糕 Bed bugs are bad.
喂 Hello?
我了个去 Holy shit!
空间充足 风景也很棒 Great space and wonderful views.
George 什么情况 George, what's going on?
卧室采光超赞 The bedroom has terrific light.
而且 我们会解决气味问题的 And we'll deal with the smell.
时间到了 Andy Time's up, Andy.
我要把你赶出去 而且告你拖欠三千房租 I'm evicting you and suing you for three grand in back rent.
噢不 你不会的 看看这个 Oh, no, you're not, cos check this out.
嘣 Boom!
我在歌曲大赛里得了第三名 赢了三千五奖金 I've just won three and a half grand for coming third in a song contest.
唔 这是一张写了你名字的纸 Ooh, it's a piece of paper with your name on it.
跟我有毛关系 What good's that to me?
我受够你的拖延战术了 Andy I'm done with the delay tactics, Andy.
游戏结束 Game over.
等等 如果 我能在今天付你钱呢 Wait! What if I can get you the money by the end of the day?
我五点去上普拉提课 你还有三小时 I'm leaving for Pilates at five, that gives you three hours.
之后呢 我会把锁换掉 After that, I'm changing the locks.
不用担心地毯 Don't worry about the carpets,
我们会彻底清洁干净 we'll get them industrially cleaned.
这些神秘的斑点都会消失 No more mystery stains.
那些才不是神秘的斑点 They're not mystery stains.
- 那是精斑 - 恶 - They're semen. - Eurgh...
怎么回事 What's that about?
哦 我的房东要把我赶出去 因为我拖欠租金不交 Oh, my landlord's kicking me out cos I haven't paid him his back rent.
- 你没有三千 是吧 - 滚一边去 - You haven't got three grand, have you? - Fuck off.
我还在拼命还因毒瘾贷款的两万镑呢 I'm still struggling to pay the 20 grand mortgage I took out for my coke habit.
听着 Roly情绪不太好 Listen, Roly's in a bit of a mood.
嘿 我的小太阳 Hey! Here's my sunshine!
花粉害我鼻炎更严重了 The pollen's making my sinusitis play up.
很好 你俩五点整都给我到公寓去 Great. Well, I need you both at the flat for five on the dot.
- 为啥有我 - 我做晚饭 记得吗 别迟到 - Why me? - I'm making dinner, remember. Don't be late.
再见 小宝贝 Bye, sweetheart.
你知道Melodie要搬去美国吗 Did you know that Melodie's moving to America?
知道 学校办了很大的欢送会 Yes, the school had a big going-away party.
你怎么会在意 我以为你俩不说话呢 Why do you care anyway? I thought you weren't speaking?
我不在意啊 爱咋咋地 I don't care. Whatever.
我觉得爸爸要跟Veronica结婚了 I think Dad's going to marry Veronica.
有什么意义啊 我都让她跟我们住在一起了 What's the point? I'm already letting her live with us.
- 这还不够吗 - 你觉得很糟心吧 - Surely that's enough. - That must suck for you.
说起来 为什么我们要在五点吃饭 Anyway, why are we eating at five?
你老妈是不是又搞什么奇怪的节食方法了 Is your mum on one of her weird diets again?
她在安排我的生日惊喜派对 She's planning my surprise birthday party.
她自以为提前两周举办很聪明 She thinks she's being clever by doing it two weeks in advance,
其实呢 就像是看着一条狗在努力地解魔方 but really it's just like watching a dog try to solve a Rubik's cube.
我说 满满一屋子想让我心脏病发的人 I mean, what's so fun about being in a room full of people
到底是有趣在哪 who trying to give me a coronary?
真希望我死去 给他们点教训 I hope I die. That'll teach them.
她只是想为你做些贴心的事 成熟点 She's just trying to do something nice for you. Grow up.
- 你成熟点 - 不 你成熟点 - You grow up! - No, you grow up!
- 不 你成熟点 - 我会的 - No, you grow up! - I will!
只要把这张支票兑现 By cashing this cheque.
我今天已经失去一辆车了 不能再丢了房子 I've already lost the car today. I'm not going to lose the flat.
欢迎来到现金猪 Welcome to Cash Pig.
我们的政策非常优惠 Our deals are a squeal.
我想兑现这张支票 劳驾(法语) I would like to cash this cheque, s'il vous plait.
抱歉 我们没有现金了 Sorry. We are out of cash.
逗你的 那样的话不就跟妓院里没有妓女一样吗 Joking! That'd be like a whorehouse without any whores.
小兄弟懂我的意思 Little man knows what I'm saying.
- 先跟你说一下 我们收10%的佣金 - 10% - Just so you know, we take a 10% commission. - 10%?!
如果你不接受 If you've got a problem with that,
你可以去银行 you can always go to your bank.
我相信他们会在 哦 两到三天兑现 I'm sure they can cash this in - oh! - two to three days.
- 10%挺好的 挺好 - 请出示身份证 - 10% fine, that's fine. - ID, please.
好的 3150 由歌曲比试公司付给Andy King OK, that's 3,150 paid by Songtest Inc to Andy King.
歌曲比试 Songtest?
我能看看那张支票吗 Can I see that cheque?
不 别给他看 No! Don't show him!
那不是你的钱 That's not your money!
哈 他开玩笑呢 等我一下 不好意思 Ha! He's joking! One minute, please.
不敢相信 你竟然不告诉我咱们的歌赢了 I can't believe you didn't tell me our song won!
- 没赢 得了第三 - 那是个合作项目 - It didn't win. It came third. - That was a collaboration.
我们得和Val Gwen Casper Hugo还有我平分这笔钱 We need to split it between Val, Gwen, Casper, Hugo, me...
等我危机解除 他们会得到自己的份额的 They'll get their split after I'm back on my feet.
- 在那之前 谁都不必知道 - 可我知道了 - Until then, nobody has to know. - But I know!
就像第一次知道香肠是怎么做出来之后 It's like the first time you find out how sausage is made.
就永远也忘不掉了 You can never forget.
要是我丢了房子 If I lose my flat, then
我就去你老妈家睡沙发 I'm going to be sleeping on your mum's sofa,
在你去上学的时候 摸遍你所有的东西 touching all your things when you're at school.
你的毛巾 你的牙刷 你的印花机 Your towels, your toothbrush, your embosser...
你不会的 You wouldn't.
- 不会吗 - 啊哦 - Wouldn't I? - Uh-oh.
这张支票是付给"Andy King" This cheque is made out to "Andy King."
身份证上的名字是Andrew 我不能兑现 The name on this ID is Andrew. I can't cash this.
你得让他们再给你重新写一张支票 You're going to have to get them to write you another cheque.
不 不 不 我今天就需要这笔钱 No, no, no. I need that cash today.
抱歉 经理不允许我这么做 Sorry. My manager won't let me.
不过 我知道一个人 But I know a guy...
一击必中 害虫防治
嗨 Hi.
呃 我们来找"灭虫者" Er, we're here for the "Exterminator."
嗨 呃 Hi, er, Mr...
灭虫者先生 .. The Exterminator.
我们想要"全灭套餐" 拜托了 We would like the "Total Kill Package," Please.
多少 How much?
呃 三 三千 Er, th-three grand.
而且 等我兑现这张支票 就能立刻付你钱 And I can pay you just as soon as I cash this cheque.
你他妈的干啥呢 What the fuck are you doing?!
把那张纸给我 Give me the slip!
当然 抱歉 好的 先生 Sure. Sorry. Yes, yes, sir.
你身上有窃听器吗 You wearing a wire?
不 不 没有 No, no, no.
不 我看过<忠奸人>的 No, I've seen Donny Brasco.
忠奸人 美国犯罪剧情片 讲述FBI卧底探员打入黑帮家族后的故事
他怎么这么安静 Why's he so quiet?
他脑子有问题 Because he is a dullard.
- 你叫什么名字 - 他叫 - What's your name? - It's, er...
Joey J-Joey.
Joey Falcone Er, Joey Falcone.
你听上去有点口音啊 Sounds like you've got a bit of an accent there.
你才听上去有口音呢 Sounds like you've got a bit of an accent there.
你一个美国男孩和一个英国中年怪大叔 What's an American boy doing knocking about
在这晃悠什么呢 with a middle-aged English weirdo?
我才32 他是个交换生 I'm 32! And he's on an exchange programme.
- 利息是20% - 20% 你以为是高速路抢劫啊 - The interest rate's 20%. - 20%! That's highway robbery!
刚才兑换支票的柜台只收10% The cheque cashiers only took 10!
你这什么破口音 What a shit accent!
别放弃你的工作啊 Dick Van Dyke Don't give up your day job, Dick Van Dyke.
Dick Van Dyke 美国演员 在电影<欢乐满人间>中讲一口古怪的伦敦东区口音
20%没问题的 对吧 孩子 20% will be fine. Kids, eh?
那画不错 你孩子画的吗 That's a nice painting. Your kids do it?
不是 No.
是我老婆画的 My wife did.
呃 挺好看的 It's... It's nice.
别瞎说了 这画太差劲了 Don't lie. It's bloody horrible.
因为她不停唠叨 我才挂上去的 I only put it up cos she nagged me.
你完全被她套牢了 She's got you well by the nuts.
那是因为她床上功夫出奇的好 That's because she is unbelievable in bed,
要不然我几百年前就把她甩了 otherwise I'd have got rid of her a very long time ago.
她的脸丑的能把仓库大门的油漆吓掉 She got a face that could blast the paint off a barn door.
还有 我的老婆丑到洋葱都被她吓哭 Ere- my wife is so ugly, she could make an onion cry.
你老婆丑到万圣节都不用化妆 Your wife's so ugly, she don't need no Halloween costume.
我老婆丑到我们的婚礼视频都归类在恐怖片里 My wife is so ugly, our wedding video's in the horror section!
你老婆丑到连象人都说 Your-your wife's so ugly that the Elephant Man's like,
真实存在的脑袋硕大 身体畸形酷似大象的人 有相关小说与电影
"呃 对不起 不约" "Eww - no thanks!"
你刚说什么 What did you say?
象人 Elephant Man.
站那别动 Wait there.
Joey Falcone是什么鬼 Joey Falcone?!
我正伪装身份呢 我慌了 I was masking my identity, I panicked.
你是说话的那个 你侮辱他老婆了 You're one to talk, you insulted his wife!
我以为我们在开玩笑呢 I thought we were bantering!
好吧 他现在要宰了我们 Well, he's going to kill us now.
反正他肯定要宰了你的 He's definitely going to kill you.
- 别紧张 我有计划 - 什么 - Relax, I've got a plan. - What is it?
跑啊 Run!
背景音乐 - Mumford & Sons
快点 Faster!
噢 Oh...
天啊 Oh!
太好了 一个半小时后我就要失去我的公寓了 Oh, great I lose my flat in an hour and a half.
要不去试试发薪日贷款 他们会借钱给任何人的 How about one of those payday loans? They give those to anyone.
发薪日贷款 不计手续费和滞纳金的一种短期贷款 申请门槛很低
但是如果你比希腊银行的信誉还低就不行 Not if you've got a worse credit rating than a Greek bank.
- 打扰了 - 对不起 我们没零钱 - Excuse me! - Sorry, we don't have any change.
我不要零钱 我要睡觉 I don't want change. I want sleep.
- 快走吧 这儿人满了 - 等等 - Now move along, we're full up here. - Hang on.
我才不是流浪汉 I'm not homeless.
你确定吗 你这衣服简直是流浪汉标配 You sure? That jacket screams homeless.
这是复古款 It's vintage!
他最近走 潮流乞丐路线 He's going for that, um, hobo chic look.
我昨天在一家格雷格斯面包房外坐了八个小时 I sat outside a Greggs yesterday for eight hours.
你觉得潮吗 Does that sound chic to you?
不 No.
我的生活可不是什么 My life is not some trendy
让你们追逐的潮流时尚 fashion statement for you to appropriate.
在我召唤同伴之前 快滚吧 Now, shove off before I get my mates involved.
坐在那边的Steve去过三次阿富汗 Steve over there did three tours of Afghanistan.
他就是真人版<雅各的天梯> He's a walking Jacob's Ladder.
雅各的天梯 一部讲述发生在越战后的恐怖故事的电影
快走吧 Well, go on, then!
还等我铺红地毯请你们走吗 I'm not going to roll out the red carpet for you.
地毯 Carpet.
对啊 地毯 谢谢 谢谢你 Carpet. Thank you! Thank you!
Bonny Bonny?
- Bonny - 好恶心 老鼠 - Bonny! - Ugh. A rat.
她才不是老鼠 She wasn't a rat!
她是我的朋友 She was my friend!
大家快来 Hey, guys!
他把Bonny杀了 He...killed... Bonny!
- 你们需要搭车吗 - 当然了 - You guys need a lift? - Shit, yes!
到底是怎么回事 What was that all about?
我们被一群精神失常的流浪汉追 We was just being chased by a bunch of deranged tramps.
够疯狂 哥们 你们去哪 That's wild. So where to, lads?
就沿着这条路 去地毯兄弟 Just down the road to Carpet Brothers?
- 谢谢了 - 没事 - Thanks for this. - No probs.
这是个人人互助的世界 It's all about people helping people.
我是Blake 他们是Archie Winston Raymond和Carter I'm Blake, this is Archie, Winston, Raymond and Carter.
欢迎登上我们的简陋旅车 Welcome to our humble tour van.
- 你们是乐队吗 - 不 不是 - Are you guys in a band? - No, no.
我们是个集体 We're a collective.
一提到乐队 随之而来的 Bands come with all this
都是等级制度的包袱和商业利益 baggage of hierarchy and commercial gain.
而我们只追求音乐 And we are just in it for the music.
这就是为什么我们只用79年之前的设备 That's why we only use equipment made pre-'79.
这就是我想说的 知道吗 That's what I'm talking about! You know?
你可以说你喜欢技术革新 You can say what you like about technological advancement,
但对我来说 真的不比Phil Spector but for me, it really doesn't get any better than Phil Spector
Phil Spector 美国传奇音乐人 09年被控谋杀罪成立
和他那首好多少 and his "Wall of Sound."
Pill Spector不是杀了人吗 Didn't Phil Spector kill someone?
是啊 但是他写出了这么棒的歌诶 Yeah, but I mean, come on, Be My Baby?
- 你们现在有很多巡演吗 - 是啊 - So, er, you guys doing a lot of touring at the moment? - Yeah.
我们一年来都这样到处奔走 We've been on the road for a year.
现场演出是个濒临绝境的艺术 Live performance is a dying art.
就是因为可以遇见像你一样恋旧的人 And it's getting to meet old timers like you
才让这一切有意义 知道吗 that makes it all worthwhile, you know?
- 你们是什么风格的 - 就是音乐风格吧 差不多 - What kind of music do you play? - Just music-music, I guess.
我们并不追求潮流或类别 We don't really go in for trends or genres.
也对 不过 谁影响了你们 Yeah, but, um, who are your influences?
再说一遍 我们并不相信影响这回事 Again, we don't believe in influences, really.
但是 你们看起来就有种民谣的感觉 But, I mean, you look like you've got some sort of folky vibe going on?
- 你们一定听Jim Croce - 那是谁 - You must listen to Jim Croce? - Who?
Jim Croce 上世纪七十年代的美国民谣歌手
Jim Croce 唱和的 Jim Croce - Operator, Time In A Bottle?
- 那你们听说过James Taylor吗 - James Taylor - Have you heard of James Taylor? - James Taylor?
James Taylor 上世纪七十年代的美国民谣歌手
的Carole King呢 天啊 你在故意逗我吗 Carole King? I mean, you're fucking with me? Tapestry?
Carole King 美国最成功的创作歌手之一
没有 No...
- Johnny Cash呢 - 恩恩 这个听过 - Johnny Cash? - Yes, yeah.
Johnny Cash 美国传奇乡村歌手
不就是Joaquin Phoenix演的那个人嘛 The guy from the Joaquin Phoenix movie.
Joaquin Phoenix在好莱坞音乐传记片<与歌同行>中饰演Johnny Cash
我喜欢Adele那首歌 <让你感受我的爱> I like that one Adele song - Make You Feel My Love?
那是她翻唱鲍勃迪伦的歌 That's a Dylan cover!
你干嘛这么在乎这些 Why is all this so important to you?
因为音乐是演化的过程 Because music is an evolution.
如果不知道你曾在何处 又怎么前进 How can you move forward if you don't know where you've been?
当我没说 我不知道我为什么这么激动 Forget it. I don't know why I'm getting worked up about it.
你们又没被签约 It's not like you're signed or anything.
不 我们被签约了 Oh, no, we're signed.
和索尼签约 我们在蒙福之子的重聚巡演上做嘉宾 To Sony. We're supporting Mumford & Sons on their reunion tour.
- 喔 原来是嬉皮士 - 你刚刚是叫我们嬉皮士吗 - Oh, hipsters. - Did you just call us hipsters?
他可能说的是告密师 I think he might have said "Tipsters."
一个为了提高公众反恐反暴力犯罪举报意识的全国性宣传口号
"看见什么 就说什么" 对吧 兄弟 "If you see something, say something," Right, guys?
- 我们不是嬉皮士 - 是吗 - We're not hipsters. - Oh, yeah.
你们就恰巧穿得像 You just happen to all be dressed
那种天启的吉普赛人一样 like some sort of apocalyptic gypsy gang
还留着克里米亚战争时期的胡子 with facial hair from the Crimean War.
光有一把尤克里里和花呢夹克 是不足以成为乐队的 It takes more than a ukulele and a tweed jacket to be in a band...
我们是集体 Collective.
我讨厌你们代表的一切 I hate everything you stand for,
你们的卷烟 你们的无处方眼镜 from your roly cigarettes to your prescription-less glasses
你们的手工奶酪 你们的男士编织 and your artisanal cheese-making and your male knitting.
你们就活在一个过去从没存在过的 You're living in some sort of weird fictional version of the past
奇怪虚拟世界里 that never existed.
我有个消息告诉你们 But I've got news for you
你们不是什么美丽的独一无二的雪花 you're not beautiful unique snowflakes.
你们就是一群装腔作势的人 You're nothing but a bunch of fucking posers!
让你闭嘴五分钟不说蠢话就这么难 是不是 You couldn't keep your stupid mouth shut for five minutes, could you?!
- 他们是傻逼 - 这群傻逼刚才可是在救你呢 - They were pricks! - Those pricks were trying to help!
我让你失望了 我也让我自己失望了 I let you down, I let myself down,
最主要的是 我让咱们地毯兄弟失望了 but most importantly, I let Carpet Brothers down.
我让地毯都失望了 I let the carpets down.
你解雇我之后 我一直努力改变自己 Since you fired me, I've really been able to work on myself.
他更友好了 更耐心了 更懂得给予 He's friendlier, more patient, giving.
他甚至承诺我生日时送我显微镜 He's even promised to get me a microscope for my birthday.
Andy 我都不知道该怎么说了 Andy, I don't know how to tell you this.
你当然能回来工作 Of course you can have your job back.
自从你走了之后一切都不一样了 It's not been the same without you.
我不想回来工作 I don't want my job back.
我只想找你借三千镑 I just need to borrow three grand off you.
听着 我几天后就能还你 Look, I can pay you back in a couple of days,
只要我把这张支票兑现 as soon as I get this cheque cashed.
求你了 为了我的压花机 Please. For my embosser.
好吧 我借你钱 OK, I'll lend you the money.
如果你能把地毯卖给他们 If you can sell them a carpet.
嘿 需要帮助吗 Hi there. Can I help you?
恩 我们正为他的新卧室选地毯呢 Er, yeah, we're looking for some carpeting for his new bedroom.
- 但我们预算很紧 - 我们这里的价格是全镇最合适的 - But we're on a budget. - Well, we have the best prices in town.
真的吗 这个应用里说魔法地毯 Really? This app says Magic Carpet,
离这就0.28公里远 which is just 0.28 miles away,
所有商品都打八折 has a 20% sale on all its stock.
谁在意折扣呢 Well, who cares about discounts?
质量和选择才是最重要的 It's all about quality and selection.
地毯兄弟的地毯使用 Carpet Brothers' carpets are made from the finest materials,
来自世界各地的上佳材料 sourced from all over the world,
但是只在英国制造 but exclusively manufactured in the UK.
- 你是谁 - 我是他的经理 - Who are you? - I'm his manager.
你当经理是不是太小了 Aren't you a little young to be a manager?
我都25了 我脑垂体有问题 I'm 25. I have a pituitary condition.
噢 对不起 Oh. Sorry.
没关系 经常被人误会 No worries. It's a common mistake.
经理 我能和你私下谈谈吗 Can I talk to you over there for a second, Mr Manager?
你觉得你在干嘛呢 你会把一切搞砸的 What do you think you're doing? You're screwing this up for me.
- 衣服从哪来的 - Roopesh给我的 - Where did you get that shirt? - Roopesh gave it to me.
他真的是个好人 The man's a treasure.
放心啦 我了解零售业 Mary Portas的书我看过两遍 Look, relax. I know retail. I've read Mary Portas's book twice.
你要态度坚定 但又得表现得不偏不倚 You've got to be firm, but fair.
对不起 有没有看上的 Sorry about that. Did anything catch your eye?
你觉得这块地毯怎么样 Louie 挺好的吧 What do you think of this carpet, Louie? I think it's nice.
这块可是最新款 That one has the very latest in
使用防污又防磨的材料制成 stain-resistant and hard-wearing fibres,
我们可以打八折 仅限今天 and we can offer a 20% discount for today only.
- 我不喜欢 - 是啊 不怎么样 - I hate it. - Yeah, it's horrible.
没事 我有你一定喜欢的 No problem. I've got something I think you'll love.
看看这块美丽的地毯 你爸爸一定会同意的 Take a look at this beauty. I'm sure your dad will approve.
他不是我爸 是我继父 He's not my dad. He's my stepdad.
买地毯是他的主意 他觉得这是个与我亲近的好时间 Carpet shopping is his idea of fun bonding time.
我知道什么意思 I know how exactly what you mean.
我爸的女朋友总想带我去杜莎夫人蜡像馆 My dad's girlfriend's always trying to get me to Madame Tussauds.
我对活的贝克汉姆都不感兴趣 I don't care about the real life David Beckham,
更何况是个蜡做的翻版呢 let alone his stupid wax double.
我的意思是 我记得我和你一样大的时候这么想的 Um, I mean, I remember from when I was your age.
是啊 他永远都在说他的工作 Yeah... And all he ever talks about is work.
谁会在乎食品科学啊 I mean, who cares about food science?
食品科学很有趣啊 Food science can be a lot of fun.
你知道他们怎么计算卡路里吗 把食物吹起来 Do you know how they measure calories? By blowing food up.
- 真的吗 - 对 这是我职业的第三选择 - Really? - Yeah. That's my third career choice.
当然 那是在我爱上地毯事业之前 Er, before I fell in love with carpets, of course.
想象你是个孤独的灰熊 Let's just say that you're a solitary grizzly bear.
你忽然对狐狸有感觉了 You start having feelings for a fox.
她又聪明又可爱 头发软软的 又很幽默 She's smart and cute, with soft hair and quirky sense of humour.
但是她还是只狐狸 But she's still a fox.
她可能用她的狐狸特质激励你 And she might lift you up with all of her foxy qualities.
但是你作为熊的那些破事 But you're just going to drag her down
还是会拖累她 你懂吗 with all your bear shit, you know?
我在YouTube上看见一头猪干一只羊 I saw a pig doing a goat on YouTube.
他经常给我买东西 让我喜欢他 And he's always buying me stuff to make me like him.
用物质来补偿心理的缺乏安全感 Hm, exploiting their insecurities for material gain.
这我倒是没想到 I hadn't thought of that.
我是说 你让我想到了很多我像你这么大时候的事 I mean, um, you remind me a lot of myself when I was your age.
- 你真是个怪人 - 谢谢 - You're a weird guy. - Thanks.
如果你真的想给他点颜色 You know, if you really want to show him,
你就应该买我们这儿最贵的地毯 you should buy the most expensive carpet we've got.
我们都四年多没卖出过一英寸金丝绒地毯了 We haven't sold an inch of gold velour in, like, four years.
- 你怎么做到的 - 我猜我是个天生的销售员 - How'd you do it? - I guess I'm just a natural salesman.
你从来没变过 Andy 这就是我喜欢你的原因 You never change, Andy. That's what I love about you.
好了 三千镑 尽快还回来 好吗 Right, three grand, to be paid back asap, OK?
赶紧收好 因为我爸在 Now, put it away quick, cos my dad's in...
- Roopesh - 爸 - Roopesh! - Dad.
这是公司的资金 This is the company's money.
它属于地毯兄弟 可不是地毯儿子 It belongs to Carpet Brothers, not Carpet Sons.
- 太衰了 - 是的 我连那件短袖都不能带走 - That sucks. - Yeah. I didn't even get to keep the shirt.
如果咱们快一点 或许还能找到另一个提现的地方 If we hurry, maybe we can find another cheque cashing place.
肯定会有一家是不要求 身份证的 There's got to be one that doesn't care about...IDs.
那就是侮辱了你老婆的那个人 There's the guy that insulted your wife.
- 快跑 - 抓住他 - Leg it! - Get him!
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*你我狭路相逢 我已无路可逃* *It's me versus you And there's nowhere to run*
*你的眼神给出 战斗开始信号* *I can see in your eyes that the moment has come*
*男人就要做他该做的事* *A man's gotta do what has gotta be done*
*你有帮手无数 但我孤身一人* *There's a dozen of you But with me, there's just one*
*谁还能回忆起 身处此地原因* *Who can recall how we got to this place?*
*不如搁置分歧 直接切入正题* *Let's put aside our differences and cut to the chase*
*踹在蛋上的一脚 如同甩在脸上的一掌* *Cos a kick to the nuts is like a slap in the face*
*为了明日孩童 为了世界人类* *To the children of tomorrow and the human race*
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*诸神的战役 传奇的相遇* *It's the clash of the titans where legends must meet*
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*痛击着地面 街道的回响* *We'll be pounding the ground to the beat of the street*
*砰 砰 砰 去他妈的好惊讶* *Pow, pow, pow Fuckin' holy cow*
*此刻没有什么 比舞蹈更重要* *The only thing that matters is we're dancing now*
*用最快的速度 挪动彼此脚步* *Moving our feet as fast as time allows*
*鏖战一夜 恢复一切* *As we fight through the night to make everything right*
*用尽精力 跳到天明* *And use all of our might to dance all night*
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*别打我的 别打我的脸* *Don't punch my... Don't punch my face*
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*别碰我的 别碰我的脸* *Don't touch my... Don't touch my face*
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*不不不不 别打我的脸* *No, not the... No, not the face*
*为未来而战* *Fight for the future*
*别打我的 别打我的脸* *Don't punch my... Don't punch my face*
- *为未来而战* - Andy舅舅 Andy舅舅 - *Fight for the future* - Uncle Andy? Uncle Andy?
Andy舅舅 Uncle Andy?
我的妻子也许是个丑逼 那她也是我的丑逼 My wife might be a minger, but she's my minger.
所以 以后你最好有点礼貌 So, in future, you be a bit more tactful.
你个贱人 You cunt.
你害死了Bonny 我也要夺走你在乎的东西 You took Bonny, so I'm going to take something you care about.
就是你这种流浪汉坏了流浪汉的名声 It's tramps like you that give the homeless a bad name.
我们也许是嬉皮士 但是你实在太刻薄了 We might be hipsters, but you're mean.
告诉你 我最喜欢的Johnny Cash的歌是 所以 And FYI, Hurt is my favourite Johnny Cash song, so...
那是翻唱九寸钉的歌 That's a Nine Inch Nails cover.
噢 还有15分钟 Oh, 15 minutes.
我马上就要流落街头 靠出卖身体为生了 I'm going to be living on the street, selling my body for cash.
没什么可羞耻的 卖淫是最古老的职业之一 No shame in that. Prostitution's one of the oldest professions.
我可以给你做个网站 域名就叫"饥渴Andy.net"怎么样 I could make you a website. How about RandyAndy.Net?
".net"听起来淫荡一些 Dot net's much sluttier.
你最好在来的路上了 别迟到
或者咱们直接跑路算了 Or we could just go on the run.
这样我就不用去那个派对了 I wouldn't have to go to this party
也不用看着我爸和Veronica结婚了 or watch my dad get married to Veronica.
你也能过毫无负担的生活了 You could live a life without burden.
我们可以四处漫游 摘果子吃 We could ramble and pick fruit.
我们还能专注于艺术 督促对方进步 We could work on our art and push each other to be better,
就像梵高和高更 like Van Gogh and Gauguin,
除了没有割耳朵和自杀那些事 except without all the ear-lopping and suicide.
以及把梅毒传染给那些塔希提妇女 And giving syphilis to all those Tahitian women.
我要坦白一件事 I have a confession.
- 我把你的手机时间调快了15分钟 - 等等 什么 - I set your phone 15 minutes fast. - Wait, what?
我以为这样能让你改改迟到的毛病 不过没什么用 I thought it would help you with your lateness. It didn't work.
但是好消息是 我们有了更多的时间 But... good news is, we've got some more time.
但是咱们还认识谁有3000块 But who do we know with a spare three grand?
- 你他妈在逗我 - 我告诉过你他会这样说 - Are you are having a fucking laugh? - I told you he'd say that.
听着 Val 我知道一切都是我咎由自取 Look, Val, I know I've brought this on myself,
但是如果你帮我走出这次困境 but if you help me get out of the hole I'm in,
我发誓我会有所改变 I swear I'll start doing things differently.
你知道 从明天开始 You know, from tomorrow.
或者后天 绝对的 我会不惜一切代价 Or the day after that, definitely. I'll do whatever it takes.
我会让你踢我的蛋蛋 或者 I'll let you kick me in the balls, or...
- 快他妈闭嘴吧 Andy - 我也告诉过你他会说这句 - Shut the fuck up, Andy. - I told you he'd say that, too.
好吧 我们走了 All right, we'll leave.
- 你需要多少 - 真的吗 - How much do you need? - Seriously?
我以前认识一个人 和你很像 I knew a lad like you once.
毫无目的地混日子 Moving through life without purpose,
人们都把他当成天生的怪胎 people treating him like a freak for the way he was born.
在紧要关头的时候从来没人支持他 He didn't have anyone there for him when the chips were down.
我懂了 I get it.
那个怪胎小孩就是你 That freaky kid was you.
- 我说的是我的脑瘫表亲Billy - 噢 - I'm talking about my cousin Billy with cerebral palsy. - Oh.
不管怎样 人们说生活就像过山车 Anyway, they say that life is like a roller-coaster.
有些人玩的很开心 Now, some people, they have a grand old time.
有些人吓得哭天抢地 Some people cry and scream their heads off.
有些人直接就吐了 Some just vomit.
还有些人则闭上了眼睛 And others close their eyes
试图让整个世界从他们眼前消失 and try and make the whole world disappear.
我知道了 过程才是最重要的 I know! The ride's what you make of it.
你只需要享受过山车就行了 You've just got to enjoy the roller-coaster.
不是啊 蠢货 No, twat!
我想告诉你的是游乐场上不止有这一个项目 I'm trying to tell you that the fair has more than one ride.
你不用非得去坐过山车 You don't have to be on the roller-coaster.
你可以去坐旋转茶杯 或者摩天轮 You can go on the... the teacups or the Ferris wheel
或者去玩打地鼠 or the whack-a-mole.
所以今天 Andy 我要给你重新买张票 So, today, Andy, I'm going to buy you a new ticket
去玩个不一样的项目 to get on a different ride.
你最好他妈的好好利用 And you'd better fucking use it.
- 我把钱拿过来了 - 还剩两分钟 - I've got your money. - With two minutes to spare.
我打赌你肯定没想到会这样 对吧 I bet you didn't think that was going to happen, did you.
我得说 我很吃惊 I have to say, I'm impressed.
- 但是我依然得赶你走 - 什么 但是他给你钱了啊 - I'm still evicting you, though. - What? But he got your money.
那是他欠我的 我不会起诉他 我们没事了 That he owed me. I won't have to sue. We're square.
我会成为最好的房客 我甚至会把墙上的洞补好 I'll be the best tenant ever. I'll even fix the hole in the wall.
- 什么墙上的洞 - 我是说 - What hole in the wall? - I mean...
对不起 那对夫妻已经签了租约 Sorry, Andy. That couple have already signed a lease
预付了四个月的保证金 put down a four-month deposit.
我给你一个周末的时间搬出去 I'll give you the weekend to move out.
顺便说一下 我扔掉了你的床垫 By the way, I'd throw out your mattress.
楼上的房客说有臭虫 The upstairs tenant reported bedbugs.
你迟到了35分钟 吃的都凉透了 You're 35 minutes late. The food is totally cold.
- 噢 吃的 - 我去 真的要这么早吃晚饭啊 - Ohhh, the food. - Shit. We really were having an early dinner.
要不然你们以为是什么 What else did you think was happening?
惊喜 Surprise!
噢 哇 呃 我没想到 Oh, wow. Um, I had no idea.
- 呃 谢谢大家 - 最好的祝福给我们的小寿星 - Well, thanks, guys. - Only the best for our birthday boy.
呃 爸爸 我觉得你还有点什么事想告诉我吧 Er, Dad, I believe there was something you wanted to tell me.
- 噢 可以等会儿说 - 现在就说吧 - Oh, it can wait till later. - Let's do it now.
这可以是个双重庆祝 It can be a... A dual celebration.
好的 Ok.
好吧 呃 Veronica 你想不想 Well, um, Veronica, do you want to...?
呃 Roly 大家 还有Sam Er, Roly, guys, Sam...
以及Bruce and Bruce.
呃 Veronica和我 Um, Veronica and I...
准备结婚了 are getting married.
- 耶 - 噢 恭喜恭喜 - Yeah! - Aw, congratulations.
显微镜 显微镜 显微镜 Microscope, microscope, microscope.
- 是个望远镜 - 太酷了 - It's a telescope. - That is so cool.
是的 是的 确实 谢谢你 爸爸 Yeah, yeah... Actually, yeah, it is. Thanks, Dad.
你知道的 如果你愿意 你随时可以和我们住在一起 You know, you can always live with us, if you want.
- 我不会介意的 - 谢谢 - I wouldn't mind. - Thank you.
你的压纹机会很安全的 我保证 Your embosser will be safe, I promise.
根据史上那些邪恶继母来看 You know, as far as wicked stepmothers go,
你这个已经算不错了 you could do a lot worse.
是的 我猜也是 Yeah, I suppose.
我爸有权获得一点幸福 Dad's entitled to a bit of happiness.
而且当爱注视着你的脸的时候 And when love's staring you in the face,
傻子才会一脚踹开它 you'd be a fool to kick it in the teeth.
即使这个爱订了<你好>杂志 Even if it does have a subscription to Hello! Magazine.
<你好> 关注名人及皇室生活的娱乐杂志
我去去就回 Be back in a second.
老实说 你知道这个派对的事儿吗 Be honest. Did you know about the party?
不 不 你们真的惊喜到我了 No. No, you got me. Total surprise.
你知道Bruce在准备方面帮了我大忙 You know that Bruce really helped me put all this all together.
很好 Cool.
你觉得他经常过来玩怎么样 How would you feel about him being around a little bit more?
有多经常 How much more?
是这样的 我们在想 搬到一起住 Well, we were thinking of, um... of moving in together.
什么 像我和你 Bruce What, like, um... me, you, Bruce
还有Tiffany吗 and... and Tiffany?
是的 Tiff也和你一样是被共同监护的 Well, Tiff's joint custody like you, so...
所以有时候 是的 so sometimes, yeah.
但是 我们会解决的 But, you know, we'll figure it out.
- 太好了 - 是吗 - Great. - Yeah?
- 是的 - 嗯 我爱你 - Yeah. - Yeah? I love you. Mwah!
所以 你知道我操蛋的故事了 So, now you know my sob story.
可能会发生的最糟糕的事发生了 The worst thing that could've happened, happened.
你知道吗 And you know what?
我一点都不在乎 I don't even care.
我打算揭开我生命的新篇章了 只要 I'm going to start a new chapter in my life. Only...
只要什么 Only?
唉 已经太晚了 我的性感臭虫已经离我而去了 Well, it's too late. My foxy bedbug has left me.
她五点的时候去了希思罗机场 She went to Heathrow at five.
好吧 但是还有时间啊 Well, then there's still time.
现在六点了 除非你有一辆时空穿梭车 It's six o'clock now, so unless you've got a DeLorean
或者一个魔法治安亭 or a magic police box lying around...
如果她五点出发去赶国际航班 If she left at five for an international flight,'
那架飞机要到八点或者九点才会起飞 the flight doesn't leave until eight or nine.
- 我还有时间吗 - 是的 傻子 你还有时间 - I've still got time? - Yes, dummy, you still have time.
Sam 我得借一下你的车钥匙 Sam! I need to borrow your car keys.
- 干什么 - 我要去制造一场灾难 - What for? - I need to cause a disaster.
好吧 但是你最好不要乱调我的收音机 OK, but you'd better not change my radio presets.
Melodie 我正想给你打电话来着 Melodie, I was about to call you.
求你告诉我你还没走 Please say you haven't left yet.
Andy 谁是Melodie Andy, who's Melodie?
Teresa 啊 对不起 我现在不方便 Teresa? Ah... Um, I'm sorry. I can't talk right now.
别担心 我不会说很久 Don't worry. I won't keep you long.
我就是想告诉你我丈夫离开了我 I just wanted you to know my husband's left me.
噢该死 我 抱歉 Oh, shit. I'm... sorry.
好吧 这不是你的错 测出怀孕没能让我们的婚姻变得稳固 Well, not your fault. Finding my pregnancy test didn't help.
他20年前就结扎了 He had a vasectomy 20 years ago.
- 啊 - 你在听吗 Andy - Uh-huh. - 'Are you listening, Andy?'
我怀孕了 I'm pregnant.
看来不是停经了 So much for the menopause.
Andy Andy?
背景音乐 - David Bowie
*依然不知道 我在等什么* *Still don't know what I was waiting for*
*时间飞速流逝* *And my time was running wild*
*千万条死胡同* *A million dead-end streets and...*
*每一次当我 快接近成功* *Every time I thought I'd got it made*
*气息似乎开始* *It seemed the taste...*
你想开车出去转转吗 Do you want to go for a drive?
去哪儿 Where?
随便什么地方 Anywhere.
听起来很棒 Sounds perfect.
*我从来不曾注意过* *I've never caught a glimpse*
*他人如何看待伪装* *How the others must see the faker*
*我还没准备好考验* *I'm much too fast to take that test*
*改改改改改变* *Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes*
*转过身去面对陌生人* *Turn and face the stranger*
*改改改变* *Ch-Ch-Changes*
*不想变成富有之人吗* *Don't wanna be a richer man*
*改改改改改变* *Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes*
*转过去面对陌生人* *Turn and face the stranger*
*改改改变* *Ch-Ch-Changes*
*要变成不一样的人* *Just gonna have to be a different man*
*时间也许会改变我* *Time may change me*
*但我察觉不到痕迹* *But I can't trace time*
*噢 耶* *Ooh, yeah*
*时间也许会改变我* *Time may change me*
*但我察觉不到痕迹* *But I can't trace time*
*我说时间会改变我* *I said that time may change me*
*但我察觉不到痕迹* *But I can't trace time*
电波字幕组 欢迎您的加入 官方网站:www.dbfansub.com 新浪微博:@电波字幕组