翻译: amber314 刘blahblah 若琳
校对: 脑残画家乖安宝 神经诗人怪查理
后期: 怪查理
King先生 Mr King?
King先生 大家都在等你 Mr King, we're waiting for you.
压制: 怪查理
King先生 King先生 Mr King? Mr King?
总监: 怪查理
废柴舅舅
第三季 第七集
电波诚译
玩得好还是烂 这是个问题 Touche or not touche, that is the question.
受死吧 你个素食狂热者 Take that, you vegan wannabe!
看谁死 你个Neil Diamond粉丝 Take that, you Neil Diamond lover.
Neil Diamond 美国民谣和流行摇滚音乐人 歌手及作曲人
喂 不要嘲笑犹太猫王 Hey! Don't knock Jewish Elvis.
刚做完我的最后一次放疗 Just had my last radiation treatment, bitches!
我的乳腺癌治好啦 要不就是我要变成绿巨人了 My tit cancer's been cured, or I'll turn into the Hulk,
不过两种情况都不赖 but either way, it's a win.
- 太棒啦 - 嗷 小心点 - That's amazing news! - Ah! Careful!
我的胸还很脆弱好吗 The girls are still tender!
抱歉 抱歉 我们要好好庆祝下这事吧 Sorry. Sorry. We're going to celebrate hardcore, right?
不 我六个月后才会进行后续的乳腺X光检查 No. My follow-up mammogram's not for another six months,
那时候才能知道癌细胞是不是都清除了 so I won't know if I've got the all clear until then.
噢 完了 Oh. Shit.
没关系的 我知道你为什么叫我来 It's OK, I know why I'm here.
赶紧把我开了 然后相忘江湖 Just fire me already, and get it over with.
熊 Bear?
你的新乐队名字 最大熊值这名字让我屌都傻了 Your new band name. Bear Maximum was giving me cock rot.
- 我不明白 - Spock 给他解释一下 - I don't follow. - Explain it to him, Spock.
我觉得Marsh想把你重塑为表演者 I think Marsh is trying to rebrand you as a performer,
而不仅仅是幕后作曲者制作人 not just a composer/producer.
我之前说过没法包装你 I know I said I couldn't package you,
但我再三思考了之后 but I had a bit of a rethink.
决定要把你签作 老派作曲家 I'll sign you as is - old-school songwriter.
我们计划用Joe Cocker遇见Elbow那种风格推出你 We'll wheel you out as a kind of Joe Cocker meets Elbow.
Joe Cocker 英国摇滚男歌手 Elbow 英国摇滚乐队
正中下怀 That's right in the pocket!
听说过Ezra加Riley吗 我旗下一个二人组 Ever heard of Ezra + Riley? Duo on my label?
完全是废物 但现在名声越来越大了 Total tossers, but they're getting quite big.
马上要独挑大梁 去欧洲巡演六个月 First headliners coming up, six-month European tour.
原本的开场嘉宾退出了 My opener's pulled.
去了戒瘾中心 我已经替你组好了伴奏乐队 Rehab. I've got your backing band all lined up.
费用全包 一周后启程 All expenses paid. Tour leaves in a week.
- 那我的外甥呢 - 我估计你会想带上他 - What about my nephew? - I assume you'll want to bring him.
他是你的Ray Manzarek 每个人都喜欢键盘手 He's your Ray Manzarek. Everybody loves a bit of keyboards.
你是说 让我带上外甥 So you're asking me to be the opening act
去给为时六个月的欧洲巡演做开场表演 on a six-month european tour with my nephew,
而且不用出一分钱 all expenses paid?
千载难逢的机会 别搞砸了 This is your shot. Don't blow it.
我没有紧张 我觉得很棒 'I'm not stressing. I think it's great.'
我只是不知道怎么才能说服他们让我去巡演 I just don't know how I'm going to persuade them to let me go,
而且马上就要参加会考了 especially with GCSEs coming up.
是你把"暗胡桃色"改成"屁股色"的吗 Is that you that changed it from Dusky Butternut to Dusky Butt?
我可是师从大师 I learnt from the best.
简直不能忍 Unacceptable.
对不起 我马上把标签换回来 Sorry, I'll change the label.
不 我说那个客人 顶着一张蠢俊脸在那翻来翻去 No, that...punter perusing with his dumb, handsome face.
我们不需要那种人 We don't need that sort in here.
瞧瞧他那棱角分明的俊俏五官 Look at him, with his chiselled features.
他以为自己是谁啊 David Ginola吗 Who does he think he is, David Ginola?
David Ginola 法国足球明星
米开朗基罗来电 他想要回他的雕像 Michelangelo called. He wants his sculpture back.
估计是那种口口声声说自己喜欢乳夹 Probably one of them blokes who says that they love nipple clamps
但一来真的 就会秒怂说 but when push comes to shove, he's like,
"不 我不想伤害你 Roopesh" "Ooh, no, I don't want to hurt you, Roopesh."
*各位大人行行好* *Please, please, please let Roly*
*让Roly和我去巡演* *Go on tour with me and do a show*
拜托拜托
*我们会大赚一笔钱* *We'll make a handsome sum, for sure*
大赚一笔
*如果Roly和我去巡演* *If me and Roly go on tour*
巡演
*白天我会让他学习和阅读* *By day I'll make him learn and read*
学习 和 阅读
*晚上我们一起唱到观众耳朵流血* *By night we'll make some earholes bleed*
耳朵流血
*无论是在巴黎 斯德哥尔摩 里斯本 罗马* *Paris, Stockholm, Lisbon, Rome*
*时刻和家保持联系 我会敦促他打电话* *He'll keep in touch, I'll make him phone*
*是时候重振旗鼓啦* *Now it's time to sort this mess*
*所以你们能不能* *So won't you kindly...*
同意
*发发善心* *Please...*
*说声* *Say...*
*同意* *Yes?*
难以相信他们居然说了不 I can't believe they said no!
他们知道我花了多长时间做那些卡片吗 Do they know how long it took me to make those cards?
记号笔的臭味现在还让我头晕脑胀呢 I'm still high off Sharpie fumes.
只能明早打电话告诉Marsh这事得取消 I'll just phone Marsh in the morning and tell him it's off.
你打算为了我放弃人生最大的机会吗 You're giving up the biggest break of your life for me?
我也难以相信 I can't believe it, either.
咱们骗谁呢 离开你我就不行了 But who are we kidding? I'm better off with you,
如果我一个人去 and if I go it alone,
最后恐怕会"凶"多吉少 I'll only end up making a tit of myself.
- 但你喜欢"胸"啊 - 我知道 - But you love tits. - I know.
我想这就是成长的代价吧 I guess this is what growing up feels like.
你在这儿坐了多久了 How long have you been sitting there?
没多久 才二十分钟 Not long. Just 20 minutes.
- 听着 我一直在想 - 二十分钟 - Listen, I've been thinking... - 20 minutes?!
- 你一个人去吧 - 我在做梦吗 - Go without me. - Am I dreaming?
你得到一个梦寐以求的机会 You've been given a chance you've always wanted,
现在却被自己吓的屁滚尿流 and now you're terrified to balls it up.
如果那些认为你无能的人 What if all those hundreds of people who thought
真的言中了怎么办 you didn't have what it takes were right?
如果你真是个没用的窝囊废呢 What if you ARE just a talentless hack?
你不去证明自己 反而要临阵逃脱 Instead of putting it all on the line, you're going to retreat,
就因为你知道如果不去尝试 because if you don't ever try,
至少也永远不会失败 then at least you know that you won't ever fail.
不要再拿我当借口 Don't use me as an excuse.
我会在这儿等你巡演回来 I'll be right here when the tour's over.
谁知道呢 到时候我说不定已经有女朋友了 And who knows, I might even have a girlfriend.
现在我知道这是在做梦了 Now I KNOW I'm dreaming.
才不是做梦 蠢蛋 It's not a dream, dummy!
- 所以 你去还是不去 - 行了 我去 - So, are you going or not? - Yes. I'll go.
那就好 Good.
背景音乐 - Orchestral Manoeuvres In The Dark
十 月
嗨 我是Andy King Hi. The name's Andy, Andy King,
但我朋友都叫我菩萨心肠的大屌传奇 but my friends call me Big Dick Legend With A Heart Of Gold.
我是Rich 吉他手 Rich. Guitar.
我是Gareth 鼓手 Gareth. Drums.
对了 巡演主角什么时候来 So, when's the headline act getting here?
就在那边啊 Oh, just over there.
也许有一天我们能坐一辆 Maybe one day we'll get a ride
闻起来不像僵尸搞过的车 that doesn't smell like zombie come.
僵尸搞过的重点是 The thing about zombie come is that
它吃起来比闻起来好多了 it tastes a lot better than it smells.
好吧 你说是就是吧 Yeah, all right, mate.
柏林 我们来啦 Berlin, here we come!
没我可不行 Not without me!
噢 你他妈的来干什么 Oh, what in the name of holy fuck are you doing here?
专程来吻别我吗 Come to give me a goodbye kiss?
拉几吧倒吧 我是你的贝斯手 No, dick features, I'm your bassist.
不可能 Marsh这么有品位的人怎么会看上你 I don't think so. Marsh has taste. Why would he hire you?
因为我在他那儿演出过几次 他很喜欢 Cos I done a few sessions for him, and he likes my work.
我也不乐意 但有钱不赚是傻子 I'm not happy about this, either, but money's money.
那Gwen和Val怎么说 Well, what do Gwen and Val think about this?
他们觉得你是个傻屌 而且需要我罩着你 That you're a prick. That you need me to keep an eye on you.
但我警告你 But I'm warning you -
这不意味着以后我们就是好闺蜜了 this isn't going to end up with us being besties,
可以靠在彼此肩膀上睡觉 sleeping on each other's shoulders,
一起熬夜看<衰姐们> staying up all night watching Girls,
一边直接从罐子里吃巧克力酱 whilst eating Nutella out of a pot.
懂了吗 Savvy?
我根本都不喜欢巧克力酱 I don't even like Nutella.
太诡异了 This is really weird.
Andy才走了一天 It's only been a day.
我还挺享受没有地下室传来噪音的日子 I'm quite enjoying the lack of thumping music coming from the basement.
是花园公寓 Garden flat.
况且 Roly和我的母子相处时间也多了 Plus, now Roly and I get to spend more time together.
你俩应该一起去上编织课 You guys should take a knitting class.
- 好主意 Tiff - 我们可以去玩猜火车 - That is a great idea, Tiff. - And we can go trainspotting.
我还是先去上学吧 知识就是力量 Well, I should probably get to school. Knowledge is power.
是啊 让别人觉得愚蠢的力量 Yeah, the power to make other people feel stupid.
Andy会喜欢这个梗的 Andy would've loved that one.
一个是六 一个是半打 Six of one, half a dozen of the other,
真不懂这俩意思怎么会是一样的呢 but I didn't understand that meant "The same"...
背景音乐 - Benjamin Francis Leftwich
柏林怎么样
非常好
柏林怎么样
非常好
巡演主角呢
也超酷 回聊 要去试音了
*无生命体征 心率降为零* *No vital signs, no BPM*
*我们的羁绊 也不复存在* *Our relationship flatlined right then*
*无能为力只能跪下祷告* *There was nothing left to do but pray*
*绝望一如上次你的离去* *Like the last time you walked out*
*无人幸免* *No survivors*
*无人* *No...*
我想说 呃 I mean... I mean... Erm...
我觉得你进来的节奏有点强了 Er, I think you're coming in a bit strong.
你确定不是自己唱得太弱了 Maybe you're coming in a bit weak.
那我是快了还是慢了呢 Am I rushing or dragging?
电影<爆裂鼓手>著名片段台词
算了 再来一遍吧 Oh, forget it. Let's go again.
*无生命体征 心率降为零* *No vital signs, no BPM*
*我们的羁绊 也不复存在* *Our relationship flatlined right then*
*无能为力只能跪下祷告* *There was nothing left to do but pray*
*绝望一如上次你的离开* *Like the last time you walked out*
*无人幸免* *No survivors*
*无人幸免* *No survivors...*
- 你觉得听起来怎么样 - 说真的吗 - How do you think it sounds? - Honestly?
像猫呕吐 Like cats puking.
你能告诉你的新女友们好好演奏吗 Well, can you tell your new girlfriends to step in line?
我不能在他们面前支持你 I can't take your side in front of them.
会失去他们的尊重的 They'll never respect me.
戴着无檐帽的人还有脸谈尊重 Says the guy wearing the beanie.
嘿 不要侮辱我的帽 Hey! Don't diss the beans.
- 这么快就想我了吗 - 想得真美 - Miss me already? - You wish.
- 你在学校吗 - 刚下化学课 - Are you at school? - Just getting out of chemistry.
- 知道化学家为什么很喜欢晚上(硝酸盐)吗 - 为什么 - Why do chemists love nitrates so much? - Why?
因为比白天便宜 They're cheaper than day rates.
听着 在我们排练一首歌发生争执的时候 Listen, when we're rehearsing a song and we disagree on something,
我们是怎么解决的 how do we resolve it?
是Casper吗 贝斯手就是烦 Is it Casper? Bloody bassists!
我倒希望是他 I wish it was just Casper.
听着 这样 你就告诉他们 OK, well, here's what you do. You've got to tell them,
"听着 你们这些废物 "Listen here, you wastes of carbon.
我在音乐圈摸爬滚打二十年不是为了 "I haven't spent two decades crawling out of music's..."
让你们这些毛都没长齐的玩意 ..Shitter to let you fanny-come-latelys
对我的音乐指手画脚的 tell me how to play my music!
所以如果你们有意见 So if you've got a problem with that,
为什么不滚回你们钻出来的那个洞里 why don't you fuck off back to the prick holes that you dribbled out of?
被Phil Collins拉出来的时候 注意别再被门撞了 And don't let the door hit you where Phil Collins shit you!
*无生命体征 心率降为零* *No vital signs, no BPM*
*我们的羁绊 也不复存在* *Our relationship flatlined right then*
*无能为力只能跪下祷告* *There was nothing left to do but pray*
*绝望一如上次你的离开* *Like the last time you walked out*
*无人幸免* *No survivors*
*无人幸免* *No survivors...*
背景音乐 - The Stone Roses
晚安 布拉格 Goodnight, Prague!
你们真好 奥斯陆 You've been great, Oslo!
晚安 斯德哥尔摩 Goodnight, Stockholm!
谢谢 阿姆斯特丹 Thank you, Amsterdam!
晚安 布鲁塞尔 Goodnight, Brussels!
十 一 月
我们昨晚返场了两次 第二次返场 We did two encores last night. For the second one,
我们用半速演唱了Little Red Corvette we did a cover of Little Red Corvette at half tempo,
完全James Blake风格 酷毙了 James-Blaked the shit out of it.
James Blake 英国电子音乐制作人 歌手 水星奖得主
我甚至看到Casper都一脸沉醉 I even caught Casper enjoying himself.
好厉害 再提醒我一下 哪个是Casper Oh, sounds amazing! Remind me again, which one's Casper?
那个贝斯手 Gwen的男朋友 不共戴天的仇人 Bassist. Gwen's boyfriend. Sworn enemy.
当然 除非我们在一起搞音乐 那就不是了 When we're not making sweet music together, that is.
啊 你现在在酒店吗 Ahh! Are you in your hotel now?
对啊 相当奢华的酒店 Yeah. Pretty swank.
可惜苏格兰酒店的毛片质量太差了 Scotland has the worst hotel porn, though.
糟了 抱歉 Melodie 我有个电话 Shit. Sorry, Melodie, I should get this.
- 再聊吗 - 必须的 - Talk soon? - Always.
嘿 Roly Hey, Roly!
你的蛋蛋冻掉了吗 Are you freezing your balls off yet?
爱丁堡有一点好 The one upside of Edinburgh
到处都散发着啤酒花的臭味 is that the entire place reeks of hops.
就好像我还在喝酒一样 It's like I'm still drinking.
太不爽了 我们在同一个国家 It sucks that we're in the same country
却不能见到彼此 but we can't see each other.
同一个王国 不同的国家 Same kingdom. Different country.
知道了 你个克伦威尔 All right, Cromwell.
你怎么 How did you...?
因为我们有火车这项神奇的发明啊 We have this amazing new invention called the rail service.
我跟老妈说我要去一个朋友家住 I've told Mum I'm staying at a friend's house.
她居然一点都没有怀疑 She won't suspect a thing.
返程的火车是明天早上七点半 My train back's at 7.30 tomorrow morning.
很遗憾 现在太晚没法参观苏格兰议会大厦了 Sadly, it's too late to visit the Scottish Parliament,
我们就自己找点乐子吧 so we'll just have to make our own fun.
妈妈非要让我去上舞蹈课 Mum is dragging me to ballroom classes.
Bruce买了一架无人机 我们经常一起玩 Bruce has bought a drone for us to fly,
Tiff逼着我看完了<分歧者>系列电影 and Tiff has made me watch all of the Divergent films.
你直说吧 You can say it.
好吧 我确实挺喜欢第一部 OK, I did enjoy the first Divergent,
但是后面几部根本剧情不连贯 but the others just felt incoherent.
- 和<饥饿游戏>比起来差远了 - 不 你是想我了 - Hunger Games was much better. - No, you miss me.
你有没有注意到每张客房服务菜单上 Have you noticed how every room service menu
都会有俱乐部三明治 has a club sandwich?
那估计并不是什么高档的俱乐部 Guess it's not a very exclusive club, then.
我们要去酒吧 你来吗 We're going to the bar. You coming?
喔 等下 老兄 Whoa. Hey, man,
虽然发生在爱丁堡的事情 我们可以不提 但是 what happens in Edinburgh stays in Edinburgh, but...
闭嘴 傻逼 那是他的外甥 Shut up, donkey. That's his nephew.
酒来了 There he is!
Errol说你们两个自从他12岁起就一起玩音乐 Errol said that you two have been playing music together since he was 12.
你们一起唱儿歌还是什么 You playing nursery rhymes or something?
我告诉你 和我外甥一起玩音乐是我在 I'll have you know that working with my nephew's been
通往音乐家之路上迈出的非常重要的一步 a very important step in my evolution as a songwriter.
他如果是Paul McCartney 我就是John Lennon I'm basically the John Lennon to his Paul McCartney.
你是Linda McCartney还差不多 More like the Linda McCartney to my Paul.
他们就像儿歌届的羽翼乐队 They were the Wings of nursery rhymes.
羽翼乐队 由披头士成员Paul McCartney和其第一任妻子Linda McCartney组成
你们舅甥两人这么亲近真是太棒了 No, it's cool you guys are so close, man.
我只有在每年圣诞节才会见到我老舅 I mean, I only see my uncle at Christmas,
就这我还嫌多 因为他就是一个傻逼 which is often enough, cos he's a twat.
我的父母都是独生子女 Both my parents are only children,
所以我没有姑姑也没有舅舅 so I don't have an aunt or an uncle.
那很多事情就解释得通了 That explains so much.
你所组成的家庭要比你出生时的家庭更重要 The family you choose mean more than the family you're born with.
- 谢了 好兄弟 - 不是说你 笨蛋 我是讲Val和Gwen - Thanks, Ghostie! - Not you, idiots. Val and Gwen.
这次巡演结束我和Gwen就要结婚了 We're getting married when the tour's over.
我相信你和Val肯定会白头偕老的 I'm sure you and Val will be very happy together.
说来好笑 我其实挺为你们两个高兴的 It's funny, I'm really happy for you both.
如果我们生了一个男孩 If we ever have a boy,
肯定不会给他取Andy这个名字 we definitely won't call him Andy.
吼 吼 吼 Ho, ho, ho!
十 二 月
Andy King从巡巡巡演回回回来了 Andy King is ho-ho-home for the ho-ho-holidays!
嘿 我的浪子老弟回来啦 Hey! The prodigal brother's returned.
噢 你身上怎么有股薯片和汽油的味道 Ow! You smell like Pringles and petrol.
欢迎回家 老兄 Welcome home, dude.
看 Bruce在教我刮胡子呢 Look, Bruce is teaching me how to shave.
你应该让我来教 I could've taught you how to shave.
Bruce懂什么啊 他自己都留着胡子 What does Bruce know about shaving? He's got a beard.
- 你不也是吗 - 也对 - So do you, Andy. - Oh, yeah.
去把你的脸洗干净 然后穿上鞋 Now, wash that custard pie off your face and put your shoes on.
我们要去买辆新车 We're going out to buy me a new car.
可是Bruce和我要去玩无人机 But me and Bruce were just about to go droning.
我马上去穿鞋 I'll get my shoes.
你不觉得这里的车对你来说太高档了吗 Don't you think this looks a little bit upmarket for you?
除非你把自己看得很低档 Only if you've got a down-market 'tude.
糟了 是Alfie 我们还是去别的地方吧 Oh, shit, it's Alfie. We need to go somewhere else.
不行 这就好像<风月俏佳人>里的场景 No way. This is like that scene in Pretty Woman
茱莉亚罗伯茨走进店里 给所有店员颜色看 when Julia Roberts goes into that shop and makes all the staff feel like shit
是因为店员们先对她摆脸子 because they made her feel like shit
他们以为她只是个穷婊子 when they thought that she was just a poor prozzie.
可是她本来就是一个穷婊子啊 Yeah, but she was just a poor prozzie.
而且正确说法应该是"性工作者" And the proper term is "Sex worker".
瞧一瞧看一看呐 哪来的两个阴吹傻逼啊 Well, well! What are you two queefs doing here?
去比基尼蜜蜡脱毛的路上迷路了吗 Get lost on the way to your bikini wax?
正确说法是男性脱毛 但我们没要去 Speedo wax, actually. And no.
帽子不错嘛 Alfie 两个角藏得挺好啊 Nice hat, Alfie. Does a good job of hiding those horns.
老爸 Dad!
看看 Well, well.
这不是巴鲁和毛克利嘛 If it isn't Baloo and Mowgli.
Tom 你能不能引用几个当代的人物 You need to update your refs, Tom.
要说起来 巴鲁 You of all people, Baloo,
你最应该知道<奇幻森林>刚拍了电影版 should know they've just made a live-action Jungle Book,
现在谁才是蠢蛋呢 so who's the muppet now?
搞了那个恶作剧后还敢来见我 你挺有勇气啊 You've got a lot of nerve showing up here, after what you did.
- 不明白你在说些什么 - 是吗 - Don't know what you're talking about. - Yeah?
是谁在我的宾利车上刻了一个大屌 Who etched a cock on my Benters?
一点印象都没有 Haven't the foggiest.
你也应该知道 自从上次见面之后我变了很多 And you should know, Tom, a lot's changed since last we met.
我的乐队目前正在进行欧洲巡演 My band is currently on a European tour.
爱丁堡站巡演在苏格兰的评分网站上得到三星 The Edinburgh show was rated three stars in the Scotsman,
相当于英格兰评分系统的六星 which is the equivalent of six English stars.
是吗 那你们的乐队叫什么名字 Yeah? What's your band's name?
- 熊 - 什么 我没听清 - It's Bear. - What's that? I can't hear you.
熊 乐队名字叫熊 Bear! We're called Bear!
巴鲁 这真是一个完美的乐队名字 That's a perfect band name, Baloo.
我都忘了你原来这么搞笑 I forgot how funny you were!
他没有开玩笑 他是来买车的 He's not here to make jokes, he's here to buy a car.
你一辆也买不起的 You can't afford any of these!
这都不是事 我们做个交易 Not a problem. We could cut a deal.
用我的服务换取折扣 My services for a discount.
你能提供什么呢 巴鲁 What would you have to offer, Baloo?
我为地毯兄弟写了一首广告歌 I wrote a jingle for Carpet Brothers,
带动他们的销量上涨了30% and their sales went up by 30%.
算了 算了 Actually, forget it.
我看得出来 这两人根本不会做生意 I can see we're not dealing with serious businessmen.
Errol 我们走 Errol, come.
等下 Wait.
*雷顿豪车 雷顿豪车* *Leyton Luxury Cars, Leyton Luxury Cars,*
*雷顿豪车 雷顿豪车* *Leyton Luxury Cars, Leyton Luxury Cars*
*行不更名 坐不改姓* *Oh, Leyton car dealership is here to stay*
*如果你不爱 那就快滚开* *If you don't like it, get out the way*
*不管你是本地人 还是火星人* *Whether you're from Leyton or you're from Mars*
*雷顿经销商是这最棒的商人* *Leyton is the best at dealing cars*
*座椅全真皮 有时是塑料* *The interiors are leather and sometimes vinyl*
*真正的香车 没有便池味* *Smells like a car, not a urinal*
*快他妈来雷顿豪车* *Come to fucking Leyton car dealership*
*让你酷得无与伦比* *It'll make you cool, it'll make you hip*
*每个人见到 都知你大屌* *Everybody's gonna think you have a massive dick*
*雷顿豪车经销商* *It's Leyton Luxury Dealership*
*千真万确* *W-W-Word!*
不错嘛 巴鲁 我可以给你折扣 Not bad, Baloo. You've earned your discount.
不过有一个条件 On one condition.
我觉得没什么 I can live with that.
嗨 我是Errol 未来的首相 Hi, this is Errol, future Prime Minister.
一 月
请在哔的一声后留言 Leave a message after the beep.
嘿 我是你的酷炫老舅Andy Hey, it's your cool Uncle Andy here.
呃 我现在在斯图加特 但是我的航班取消了 Er, I'm in Stuttgart, but my flight's been cancelled.
都怪气候变化 Bloody climate change!
我可能要到下个月才能见你了 So I guess I'll have to see you next month.
抱歉了 哥们 Sorry about that, mate.
顺便提一句 你是个书呆子 Oh, PS - you're a nerd.
Andy舅舅这周末不会回来了 Well, Uncle Andy's not coming back this weekend.
我该去干嘛啊 What am I going to do?
和你的同龄人一起玩啊 Spend time with friends your own age?
我在同龄人中没有朋友 I haven't got any friends my own age.
那是谁 Who's that?
我的同学Ian 他总是想叫我出去玩 That's Ian from school. He keeps wanting to hang out.
小伙子不错 可惜喜欢交响金属乐 He's a nice chap, but he's into symphonic metal.
嘿 Hey!
哇哦 看起来好赞啊 Oh, wow, that looks really good.
对啊 这就是有个艺术家老弟 Yeah. It's what happens when you finally ask
可以求助的好处 your professional-artist brother for help.
喔 说到两人合作 Ooh, speaking of collabs,
我今天咨询了肿瘤专家 I spoke with the oncologist today, and, erm,
她说如果 抱歉 是当我的病完全好了 she says if - sorry, no, when - I get the all clear,
她建议我们再等两年然后再要孩子 she recommends that we wait for two more years before trying for a baby again,
为了防止病情复发 in case of a relapse.
我等Postal Service的新专辑都等了13年 Well, I've been waiting 13 years for the new Postal Service album,
Postal Service 美国独立乐队 已解散
两年简直小菜一碟 so two years is a cinch.
二 月
公路战士回来了 The road warrior's here!
电影<疯狂的麦克斯>著名片段台词
见证我吧 Witness me!
猜猜谁来了 傻逼 Guess who, motherfucker?
- 噢 嘿 Andy - 哦 - Oh. Hey, Andy. - Oh?
这些人是谁 他们在我的房间里干嘛 Who are these people, and what are they doing in my flat?
我们是奥菲莉亚龙葵 我是Ian We're Ophelia Nightshade. I'm Ian.
抱歉 只是感觉这个房间比较适合搞音乐 Sorry. It just seemed like a nice place to jam.
搞音乐 你们是一个乐队吗 "Jam"? Are you a band?!
Roly 你手上那是贝斯吗 Roly! Is that a bass?
贝斯我只打算用这么一次 就是想体验一下 The bass was just a one-time thing. I was just experimenting.
这才不是乐队 只是一个学校的音乐项目 This isn't a band, it's just a school project.
他们连朋友都算不上 最多是同事 They're not even my mates, they're just co-workers.
相信我 一点乐趣都没有 Trust me, no fun was being had.
我看到一碗水果软糖 I saw the bowl of Starmix.
只有柠檬和橘子味的 It was just oranges and yellows.
那 那是什么杂志 What...? What are those magazines?
有人写了一篇关于我的文章 Someone's written an article about me.
噢 我能看看吗 Oh, wow! Can I see?
或许等你和你的同事工作结束了吧 Maybe when you've finished with your co-workers.
如果你想找个说话的伴儿 可以找Tiff If you want some company, there's always Tiff.
也算是帮我一个大忙了 You'd be doing me a big favour.
她一直在和Ian调情 展示她那些柔道动作 She keeps on flirting with Ian and showing him her jujitsu moves.
我不需要伴儿 我刚刚结束一场爆满的演唱会 I don't need company! I've just performed a sell-out concert
现场足足有3000名狂热的粉丝 in front of 3,000 adoring fans.
而且讲真 奥菲利亚龙葵是什么玩意儿 And seriously, "Ophelia Nightshade"?
难道我身上交响金属乐的基因都传给你了 Have you gone all symphonic metal on me?
你倒贴钱让人家写的吧 You paid them to write this, right?
当然不是 干嘛这么想啊 No. Why would you think that?
上面说你帅气且有魅力 It says that you're handsome and charismatic.
如果我在乎的话 我会为你感到骄傲的 If I gave a shit I'd be really proud of you.
谢谢 Thank you.
听好了 Andy 我能不能 Listen, Andy, can I, er...
问问你关于某些事的建议 ask your advice about something?
你想听我的建议 You want my advice?
- 没错 - 又一次刷新了我的底线 - Yeah. - It's a new low.
我就是觉得和Gwen谈这个有点古怪 I just feel weird talking to Gwen about this.
我知道 你讨厌Casper 我们都经历过 I knew it. You hate Casper. We've all been there.
不是 你个傻逼 我在和某个人约会 No, you knob! I'm seeing someone.
Patrick 他很 Patrick. He's...
可爱 而且我们很认真的 lovely, and it's getting serious,
但是他有几个青春期的孩子 but he has teenage kids
还有一个前妻 他们都直得不行 and an ex-wife, and they're really straight.
明白吗 规规矩矩的 You know? Square?
我不知道他们会怎么想我 And I don't know what they're going to make of me,
或是Gwen 或是这个地方 or Gwen or this place...
我不会改变自己 我只是 I refuse to change who I am. And I just...
只是不想在他们真正了解我之前被我吓跑 I just don't want to scare them off before they get to know me,
你明白吗 you know?
- 咋了 - 我的老天 - What? - Oh, my God!
你好没有安全感呐 You are so insecure.
Andy 别逼我在事情有所好转的时候杀了你 Andy, don't make me kill you just when things were looking up.
听好 Val Listen, Val...
你是我见过的 最酷 最真诚 最美好的人之一 you are one of the coolest, most genuine, beautiful human beings I have ever met.
你总是支持着朋友和家人 You stick up for your friends and your family.
如果你对这个家伙而言很特别 And if you're special to this guy,
他的家人应该知道这一切 then his family should know about it.
如果他们看不到你的美 他也不让他们看到 And if they can't see it, and he won't show them,
那这个家伙不配拥有你 then he doesn't deserve you.
如果他不喜欢你做的菜 If he doesn't want what you're cooking,
我会过来接他的盘 then I'll come over for dinner.
你在撩我吗 Are you hitting on me?
一不小心 纯属意外 Accidentally, maybe.
三 月
16岁生日快乐 Roly Happy 16th, Roly!
你现在的年龄已经可以献血了 You're now old enough to register as a blood donor.
- 或是参军 - 或是结婚 - Or join the army. - Or get married.
除非我死 Over my dead body.
或是像个真的现代青年一样骑辆小摩托 Or ride a moped, like a true mod.
除非你死 Over your dead body.
嘿 你没算进最重要的那件事 Hey! You're leaving the biggest one out.
性爱 Sex!
根据法律 你现在的年龄已经可以自行改名字了 You are officially old enough to change your name by deed poll!
Errol这个名字闹了多久的笑话了 This "Errol" Joke has been going on long enough.
嗨 Andy舅舅 Hi, Uncle Andy.
哇 当Sam听说我终于能负担得起搬出去住了 Wow. When Sam heard I could finally afford to move out,
她立刻争分夺秒地打包了我所有的东西呢 she wasted no time in packing all my stuff up.
酷 谢谢 Cool. Thanks.
这是件女士的小码 应该挺合身的 It's a lady's small. It should fit perfectly.
好了寒暄完毕 你想去干嘛 Now that's out the way, what do you want to do?
咱俩可以试着溜进电影院看十八禁电影 We could go and try and sneak you into an 18-certificate film,
或者办一个即兴演唱会 水果软糖我包了 or we could have a jam session. Starmix on me.
我很想去 但是我的朋友们等着我呢 I'd love to, but my friends are waiting.
今天晚上的现场演出见 I'll see you at the gig tonight.
奥菲莉亚龙葵现在是你的朋友了对吗 Ophelia Nightshade are friends now, are they?
我不认为我应该为和别人演出而怀有罪恶感 I don't think I should feel guilty for jamming with other people.
而且如果你觉得奥菲莉亚龙葵蠢爆了 And if you think Ophelia Nightshade's dumb,
那最大熊值又怎样呢 then what about the Bear Maximum?
那是从你讲的笑话里取的名字 That is a riff on a joke that YOU made.
我12岁时的笑话 When I was 12.
好吧 如果你这么成熟 那怎么不回我的电话 Well, if you're so mature, then how come you've stopped answering my calls
因为你一直对我没和你玩耿耿于怀 故意想让我内疚 Well, because I knew you'd make me feel bad for having fun without you.
我一个人玩得很开心好不好 Yeah, well, I've been having fun without you.
我处在人生巅峰呢 I've been having the time of my life.
我为什么会想和一个来自克罗伊登的熊孩子一起玩 Why would I want to hang around with a stupid kid from Croydon?
因为这个熊孩子是你现有的唯一真正的朋友 Because this stupid kid is the only real friend you've got.
真朋友会在他们生日的那天一起出去玩 Real friends hang out with each other on their birthdays,
而不是和一群没才华的臭小子混在一起 not with a bunch of talentless brats.
我说他们没有才华只是为了保护你脆弱的自尊心 I only said they were talentless to protect your fragile ego.
我脆弱的自尊心 MY fragile ego?!
我最初决定带你一起玩的原因 The only reason I started hanging out with you in the first place
只是因为你是我姐姐的怪小孩 was because you're my sister's weirdo kid
我同情你 and I felt sorry for you.
那就别让我束缚你的风格了 Well, don't let me cramp your style.
而且我不止弹了一次贝斯 And me playing bass -
我现在是个贝斯手了 that wasn't a one-time thing. I'm a bassist now!
你知道贝斯手和吸尘器有什么共同点吗 Well, you know what a bassist and a Hoover have in common?
就是用起来的时候都烂到爆 They both suck when you plug them in!
去死吧 Andy Fuck you, Andy!
上一分钟你还在为非生者写热曲呢 One minute you're writing hits for NTL,
现在你就为Ezra加Riley做开场演出了 and now you're opening for Ezra + Riley.
你有没有觉得像是在做梦呢 Does it all feel kind of surreal to you?
是的 这个过程确实很漫长 Yeah. I mean, it's been a long road.
从某种意义上来讲 这个乐队的前身是你的二人乐队 And this band is kind of an evolution of your duo,
最大熊值乐队 对吗 和你外甥一起组的 the Bear Maximum, right? That was with your nephew?
你能谈谈那是怎么影响了你的音乐吗 Can you talk about how that influenced your sound?
可以 不过 这次巡演他没法来 Yeah. I mean, he wasn't available to do the tour.
噢 我得接下电话 Erm... Oh, I've got to get this.
嘿 怎么啦 Hey. What's up?
我们准备去现场了 但是我找不到Roly We're heading over to the venue, but I can't find Roly,
他也不接电话 你有他的消息吗 and he's not picking up. Have you heard from him?
*难道不遗憾吗* *Isn't it a pity?*
*难道不可耻吗* *Now isn't it a shame?*
*这样伤透彼此的心* *How we break each other's hearts?*
好了 擦阴布们 在六个月的相处之后 All right, you fanny flannels. After six months together,
我敢说我们中的每个人都把对方当成亲兄弟了 I can say each of you now feels like a brother -
亲到我都厌倦了闻你们的屁 a brother in the sense that I'm tired of smelling your farts
还有给你们清理呕吐物了 and cleaning up your vom.
我都不好意思说我清楚你们的撸管时间甚于我自己的 I'm ashamed to say I know your wank schedules better than my own.
现在 我们出去吧 Now, let's get out there
给他们献上我们今晚的表演 and give them the show of our lives tonight.
观众里有我好几个前女友 I've got some ex-girlfriends in the crowd,
我希望让她们为甩了我感到难过 and I'd like to make them feel bad for letting me get away.
Andy 你还想说点什么吗 Andy? You want to add anything?
嗯 Erm...
别搞砸了 Don't fuck it up.
别搞砸了 Don't fuck it up!
来吧哥们儿 加油 Come on, boys, come on.
King先生 Mr King?
King先生 我们都在等你呢 Mr King, we're waiting for you.
背景音乐 - Daughter
*我们总说重在参与* * We're always told it's all about the taking part*
*干得漂亮* * Yeah, whoopy-doo and, well done, you*
*你把情绪深埋于心* * You take that sentiment to heart*
*你走在最后方* * You lag behind*
*你一直被重复* * You've constantly been overlapped*
*我拿帽致敬 我印象深刻* * I raise my hat, I'm impressed that*
*你的生活一塌糊涂* * You've really ran with being crap*
*又来又来* *Here we go again, here we go again*
*重回完美* *You're perfect again*
*又居末尾* *Coming last again*
*你还是不了解 你又回到正轨* *You can't know again You're on show again...*
话说 你放弃自己的摇滚明星梦了吗 So, you got all that rock-star stuff out of your system?
没有 那就好 No? Good!
因为我希望你的乐队给我做一张唱片 Cos I want Bear to do me an album.
不必谢我 Don't thank me.
操我 Fuck me.
在耳朵里 用你的音乐 In the ears. With your music.
- 我尝试下 - 很好 - I'll give it a go. - Super.
Ezra 皮包骨小混蛋 Ezra, you skinny twat.
Andy 你打算完成那个采访吗 Andy, you ready to finish that interview?
对 Yeah, er...
稍等一会吧 Maybe later.
嗨 Hi.
真是场精彩的表演 That was a great show.
是嘛 谢谢 Yeah. Thanks.
想出去吗 You want to get out of here?
你打起人像得了糖尿病的小猫在挠 You punch like a diabetic kitten.
你打起人像在失重飞机里的Danny DeVito You punch like Danny DeVito in a zero-gravity plane.
你打起人像游艇展上的充气气球人 You punch like an inflatable balloon man at a boat show.
你打起人像个贝斯手 You punch like a bassist.
哦 对不起 Oh. Sorry.
这个攻击太卑劣了 That was a low blow.
你是我最好的朋友 You're my best friend.
闭嘴 Shut up!
你是我最好的朋友 这点永远不会改变 You're my best friend, and that will never change,
但是我现在有了同龄的朋友 but I've got some friends my own age now.
我也许应该开始多和他们出去玩 And I might need to start hanging out with them more.
去符合社会的期望 For sociological reasons.
你懂的 如果我不学习他们的行为处事 You know, how can I pretend to be a normal teenage boy
如何假装自己是个正常的青少年 if I don't study their ways?
当然 我也许我会在其他几个乐队演出 但是 And sure, I might play in a few bands, but
你永远都是我的头号选择 you'll always be my number one.
对 你永远都是我的大号选择 Yeah. Well, you'll always be my number two.
你是我最好的朋友 And you're my best friend.
我爱你 Errol Andrew Meyer I love you, Errol Andrew Meyer.
我也爱你 I love you, too...
Andrew Andrew...
An Andrew 呃 An-Andrew, er...
我的神呐 Oh, my God!
你居然不知道我的中间名 You don't know my middle name!
我当然知道 是 呃 'Course I do! It... Er, it...
呃 是Andy吗 It's, er...Andy?
你觉得我的名字是Andrew Andy King You think my name is Andrew Andy King?!
AA King 听起来 听起来超棒 就像 呃 AA King? It sounds... It sounds fancy, like, er....
- AA Milne - 对 - AA Milne. - Yeah.
问题是 我的全名是Andrew Guthrie King The only problem is that my full name is Andrew Guthrie King.
靠 是Ian和伙计们 Shit. It's Ian and the lads.
他们过来接我和Tiff去派对了 They've come to pick up me and Tiff for a party.
真的是太烦人了 我会取消的 And they're totally spaced. I'll... I'll cancel.
不 不 你去吧 No, no, you should go.
我得去打包好我在这个地方的东西了 You know, I've got to finish packing up this place, anyway.
- 你确定吗 - 去吧 出去 - Are you sure? - Go on. Get out of here.
晚点儿见 See you later...
巴鲁 ..Baloo.
再见 毛克利 See you later, Mowgli.
蠢不拉几的老熊 Silly old bear.
嘿 别哭啦 Hey! Don't cry.
我只是在小便 It was only a wee.
不好意思 只不过 Sorry. It's just...
Roly长大了 ...Roly's growing up.
你要搬出去了 一切都变了 You're moving out. It's like everything's changing.
对 有点搞笑 Yeah, it's funny.
这好像是我生命中第一次 This feels like the first time in my life
一个人也能过得好好的 that I'm actually all right with being on my own,
就像我不再需要某个人使我完整了 like I don't need someone else to complete me.
但是如果这会让你这么难过 But, if it's making you this sad,
- 我会留下来 - 不用 - I'll stay. - No.
我很骄傲你终于要开始自己付房租了 I'm very proud you've finally put a deposit on a flat,
就像一个真正的大人 很棒 like a real grown-up. It's amazing.
其实这也没什么可说的 因为 And it's a moot point, anyway, because, erm,
Roly要搬下来给上面腾出空间 Roly's moving down here to make some more space.
空间 "Space"?
- 为什么 - 为了新的婴儿室 - For what? - The new nursery.
我和Bruce还没计划好 Bruce and I hadn't planned it,
但是我们决定了 只要我病情缓解 but we've decided, as long as I stay in remission,
我们就要向前看 then we are moving forward.
我是不是有点傻 Am I a stupid cow?
Andy Andy?
Andy 你能不能说点什么 Andy! Can you please say something?
你的意思是 You mean...
我又要当舅舅啦 ...I'm going to be an uncle?
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背景音乐 - Gabrielle Aplin