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翻译：取子小Q 红豆包 里外黑 NANA
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时间轴：痒小熊 校对：NANA
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后期：Mortred 总监：NANA
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第一集
你干嘛呢 What are you doing?
贝贝 你这是干嘛 Bev, what are you doing?
-别闹了 -不 - Stop. - No.
-拜托 -不 - Please. - No!
我要回家 你留下 I'm going home. You stay.
你在这都乐不思蜀了 You're obviously flourishing here.
是因为我今天去冲浪了吗 Is this because I went surfing today?
好吧 不是因为冲浪 OK, obviously it's not because I went surfing.
贝贝 别这样 跟我说嘛 Bev, come on, talk to me.
贝贝 贝贝 Bev. Bev!
听着 我知道洛杉矶不讨你喜欢 Look, I realize L.A. hasn't exactly been your favorite--
跟洛杉矶没关系 This isn't about L.A.
正门开启 Front door ajar.
等下 是因为那部剧吗 Wait. Is it about the show?
再拍一天 一周后就发行了 It's one more day of shooting, a week in post.
闪开 Move.
正门开启 Front door ajar.
还有一周就完工了 One week. Then the work will be done,
到时我们就能一起昂首离开了 and we can both leave together, with our heads held high.
还昂首呢 Heads held high?
你没见咱们的头沦落到哪了吗 Have you not seen our heads?
早滚到了路边 被人当球踢了 It's all we can do to not kick them when we walk.
好了 听着 我们是做了一些妥协 All right, look, we've made some compromises--
这跟那破剧压根没关系 This isn't about the fucking show.
正门开启 Front door ajar.
好 那是因为什么 Well, then what is it about?
正门开启 Front door ajar.
这贱人就不能闭嘴吗 Does this bitch ever shut up?!
-你知道是为什么 -什么 - You know what this is about. - What?
莫宁吗 天呐 我跟你说了 Morning? Oh, my God! Look, I'm telling you,
我对她一点感觉都没有 I have no interest in her at all.
我那天晚上看到你对着她打手枪 I saw you wanking to her the other night.
什么 不可能 我什么时候 What? I--No, I-- How did--
我怎么谁了 我 How did? Who did? I--I--
正门开启 Front door ajar...
好吧 All right!
我可能是小打了一枪 There may have been a little wanking!
可我俩之间什么事也没有 But there is nothing between us.
-我看到你跟她在一起了 -什么 - I just saw you with her. - What?!
我刚才看到你跟她在一起 I saw you with her just now!
我看到你在我们家门前拥抱她 I saw you hugging her in front of our house!
她都不在这 她 She wasn't here! She--
根本就 她根本没 There was--She wasn't--
欧内斯托 Ernesto!
-欧内斯托 -咋了 - Ernesto! - What?
拜托把那东西关掉 Please turn that off!
抱歉 刚刚叫我干吗 I'm sorry. Did you want me?
我想让你关掉吹叶机 I want you to turn off the leaf blower.
-我关了啊 -是 - I did. - Yeah.
现在是关了 但刚才 Now. But before--
喂 贝贝 Hey, Bev!
别走 等下 No! No! Wait!
贝贝 停车 Bev, stop!
你走错边了 You're on the wrong side!
不 肖恩 走错的是你 No, Sean-- you're on the wrong side!
我不是说那个 That's not what I meant!
自动拨号 Automated dialing.
-打给鲍勃 -请说出指令 - Call Bob. - Command.
打给鲍勃 Call Bob.
妈妈 拨号中 Dialing Mom.
不是妈 是鲍勃 No, not Mom. Bob.
取消 Cancel.
-别打了 -喂 - Stop! - Hello?
喂 妈 我是马特 Hey, Ma. It's Matt.
没事 就是跟您打个招呼 Nothing. Just calling to say hi.
七周前 伦敦
英国学院奖得主是 And the BAFTA Award goes to...
肖恩与贝佛利·林肯夫妇 莱曼校长和男孩们 Sean and Beverly Lincoln for Lyman's Boys!
你们在这儿呢 There you are!
你们俩浑球 又干这事 Oh, you bloody bastards. You've done it again.
又来一次 And again!
别再来了 Stop doing it!
真不好意思 We're so sorry
我俩保证 再也不来了 We promise, never again.
你俩浑球 去年就是这么说的 Yeah, you fuckers. That's what you said last year.
好了 说真的 我 No, no. Honestly, I'm--
我 我很为你们高兴 I'm, you know, really pleased for you.
真窝心 谢谢 That's sweet. Thank you.
他高兴个大头鬼 Oh, he's so not pleased.
是啊 高兴才怪 No, he's not.
不过 我可是很为我们高兴 Well, I'm happy for us.
我就只是 高兴 I'm just...happy.
-咱还要待多久 -不知道 - How soon can we leave? - Don't know.
得看咱让这帮人羡慕嫉妒恨够了没 Have we made enough people feel bad about themselves?
哦天呐 Oh, my God.
怎么了 那是谁 What? Who's that?
-默克·拉皮多斯 -谁 - That's Merc Lapidus. - Who?
默克·拉皮多斯 Merc Lapidus.
谁让你重复一遍名字了 Repeating it doesn't help me.
美国人 他是 From America. He's president of--
大赢家 Winners! Ha ha!
原谅我 本不想打扰的 Forgive me. Don't want to interrupt.
我是默克·拉皮多斯 我是 Merc Lapidus. I am the president--
拜托 久闻大名了 Please. We know who you are.
你好 肖恩 贝佛利 Hi, Sean and Beverly--
还有你 致辞很风趣哦 And you, with the funny speech.
这就不必 Oh, that's not necess--
呃 好吧 Oh, all right.
知道我的幻想是什么吗 You know what my fantasy is?
我猜一下 不是穿鞋上就是上修女 I'm gonna guess. Either shoes or nuns.
我幻想 明早醒来 My fantasy is, I wake up tomorrow,
在我的电视台播你们的剧 and I've got your show on my network.
真是受宠若惊 Well, that's very flattering.
不不 我不是在胡乱恭维 No, no, I'm not just blowing smoke here.
我很喜欢你们的剧 I love your show.
超爱 说真的 I love it. Seriously...
我简直想跟它上床 I want to have sex with your show.
告诉你们 翻拍成美版一定大卖 I'm telling you-- an American version would be huge.
就像是《办公室》遇上了 It could be, like, The Office meets...
《办公室》是英剧改编为美剧的经典
-我们的剧吗 -没错 - Our show? - Yes! Ha ha!
但是 但是我们得好好筹划 But--But we'd have to do it right.
绝不能让美国那帮烂编剧荼毒 No farming this one out to some shitty American writers.
我想要纯英伦风格创作 I want what's in these amazing Britishy heads!
什么意思 让我们去洛杉矶吗 What, us, come to L.A.?
-这提议很有趣 -是吗 - That's interesting. - Is it?
她在用母老虎表情瞪你 Uh-oh. She's giving you the wife look.
哇 现在又用母老虎表情瞪我了 Whoa! Now she's giving me the wife look!
你好 Oh, hello.
你们尝过这个没 Have you guys tried these?
天呐 这是什么莓果啊 Ohh. What are these little berries?
太好吃了 简直就是 人参果嘛 They're genius! They're, like... magic berries.
这是罗甘莓 They're actually loganberries.
罗甘莓 Loganberries!
现在我想睡的不止你们的剧 还有这果子 Now I want to have sex with your show and these berries.
我小时候 我祖母住在约克郡 When I was a little girl, my grandmother lived in Yorkshire
她的花园里就有种罗甘莓 and had loganberries in her garden.
-每年夏天我们都摘莓果来做果酱 -靠 - Every summer we'd pick the berries and she'd make jam. - Fuck.
我祖母住新泽西州莫里斯顿 My grandmother lives in Morristown, New Jersey,
痛恨黑人 and hates black people.
那么 你们意下如何 So, what do you say?
过来一起玩吧 Come play with us, hmm?
我要莱曼校长和男孩们 I need Lyman's Boys.
我节目表里目前有四个空位 We've got four places on my schedule
可以用来放这部戏 I could put it right now.
真的是受宠若惊 This is very flattering.
不过我们现在都喝了点酒 And we've all had a bit to drink
没 我可没喝 七年没沾酒了 No, not me. Not in seven years.
我是个酒鬼 I'm an alcoholic.
你倒是很坦然 But evidently not anonymous.
拜托 Come on.
我们会给你们房子 车子 We'll get you a house, a car.
要什么尽管说 有什么难的 Name it. How hard could it be?
你们已经写出了剧本 You've already written the scripts.
已经很完美了 It's perfect the way it is.
一天也就工作20分钟 You work 20 minutes a day,
剩下的时间 随便你们在泳池里乱搞 the rest of the time, you could screw in the pool.
听到没 还会有游泳池呢 Oh, you hear that? We'd get a pool.
这样 要是你们实在不想去 也没关系 Look, if you don't want to do it, that's fine.
也许你们不喜欢钱 Hey, maybe you don't like money.
但我必须得邀请 But I had to ask.
我得癌症那时 When I had cancer--
是真的 That's right.
我意识到两件事 I realized two things.
如果你想要什么东西 就去追求吧 If you want something, go for it.
上帝可不会等着你 God doesn't wait for you.
还有 And also...
最好别得癌症 you do not want cancer.
-你的心已经飞去过了对吧 -没有 - You're already there, aren't you? - No.
明明就有 Yes, you are.
你正幻想和安吉丽娜·朱莉一起吃早午餐 You're having brunch with Angelina Jolie.
我的天 你已经开始计划晒黑了 My God, you're already starting to tan.
-是不是 -没有 - Aren't you? - No.
谢谢 Thank you.
晚安 Good night.
天啊 Jesus.
来尝尝我们的莓果 "Come taste our berries.
你们最忠实的影迷 默克·拉皮多斯 Your biggest fan, Merc Lapidus."
他怎么做到的 我们不到一小时前才离开他 How did he do this? We left him less than an hour ago.
我是不敢相信他居然还记得 I can't believe he even remembered
那愚蠢的罗甘莓故事 that stupid loganberry story.
我不敢相信他知道我们住哪 I can't believe he knows where we live.
你真想搬去洛杉矶 You really want to move to L.A.?
你对那里从来就没有过什么好感 You're always taking the piss out of it.
那是因为那里不欢迎我 Only because it's never wanted me.
那样显得我很小气 I'm very petty that way.
但为什么要搬 我们的生活在这里 But why do it? Our lives are here,
朋友都在这里 our friends are here.
你会想念谁 Who would you miss?
我们得交更好的朋友 We need better friends.
我是想说 如果我们真去了 What I'm saying is, if we do this,
而且很受欢迎 一部在美国受欢迎的电视 and we're a hit-- a hit show in the States--
出人意料的受欢迎 a big, stonking hit--
就像中彩票似的 it's like winning the lottery.
我们就再也不用工作了 We'd never have to work again.
那我们干什么 What would we do instead?
好吧 我们需要朋友 还需要有点爱好 All right, we need friends, and we need hobbies.
我说不好 I don't know.
洛杉矶 实在是很 L.A.-- it's just so...
洛杉矶 L.A.
拜托 这是一场冒险 Oh, come on, it's an adventure.
那我还得开车 I'd have to drive!
要的就是这种开拓者精神 There's that pioneer spirit!
你真的想要吗 You really want this?
是的 I think I do.
万岁 Hooray!
等等 等等 我还得先把胸罩解开 Wait, wait, wait. I get to do the bra, too.
你还是个初中生呢 You're still 14, aren't you?
我倒真希望我初中时就做过这事 I wish I got to do this at 14.
等等 你是不是把它给焊死了 Wait, did you weld this?
你必须得承认 Now, you have to admit...
这里相当美 It is fairly glorious.
享受这阳光吧 Feel that sunshine!
-当然了 -别说会得皮肤癌 - Of course-- - Don't say "Skin cancer"!
仅仅是很美 Just glorious.
-说 你能否看见 -不不 别唱 - Oh, say, can you see-- - No, no. Don't. Don't.
贝佛利山[临近好莱坞的标志性地名]
天哪 Oh, my.
真高级 Fancy!
欢迎回家 亲爱的 Welcome home, darling.
你好 我们刚搬进 Hello. We're the new people moving into...
1675 贝尔远景空场 1675 Bel Vista Drive.
肖恩和贝佛利·林肯 Sean and Beverly Lincoln.
没有 No.
没有 我们应该在上面的 No? Well, we should be there.
他们在等你们吗 Were they expecting you?
不 不 没人在等我们 No, no, there's no one expecting us.
这是我们租的房子 It's a house we're renting.
别人为我们租的房子 Well, it's being rented for us.
等等 有个管家 她也许在 Wait, there's the housekeep. She might be there.
没错 Yeah.
等一下 One moment.
真的吗 Is this right?
我这里有 I have, uh...
肖恩和贝佛利·林肯 Sean and Beverly Lincoln.
肖恩和贝佛利·林肯两位 Sean and Beverly Lincoln here.
她说他们现在不在家 She says they're not home right now.
他们当然不在家 Well, of course they're not home!
因为就是我们俩 而我们还在和你纠缠着 Because they're us. And we're stuck here with you.
夫人 不必大叫大喊 Ma'am, there's no need to raise your voice.
真的吗 你上车 Oh, really? Get in the car.
我来当你 你就知道多荒唐了 I'll be you, and we'll see if that's true.
听着 华莱士 Look, um, Wallace,
我相信我们搬进去后 I'm sure once we've moved in,
这事会成为我们三人以后的笑谈 the three of us will have a really good laugh about this.
但现在 我们已经旅行了 But, right now, we've been traveling for...
-十四个小时 -十四个小时 - 14 hours. - 14 hours.
我们真的很想进家门 And we'd really love to get into the house.
有没有什么办法你能让我们进去 Isn't there any way you could let us do that?
除非你在名单上 Not if you're not on the list.
谁知道你们是谁 How do I know who you are?
不是说了吗 Oh! Has it not come up?
我们是肖恩和贝佛利·林肯 We're Sean and Beverly Lincoln!
-说这没用 -才不在乎呢 - Really not helping. - Really don't care!
我肯定我们在名单上 能看一眼吗 I'm sure we're on the list. May I see it?
-没人能看名单 -没人能看名单 - No one sees the list. - No one sees the list?
我们这里居住着高素质的名人 We have very high-caliber celebrities living here.
得保护他们的隐私 We have to protect their privacy.
看在上帝的份上 华莱士 Oh, for God's sake, Wallace--
我很感激你对工作认真负责的态度 I appreciate the seriousness with which you do your job.
真的 但我只想找出我们的名字 I do. But I just want to find our names.
我答应你 Now, I promise you,
我不会泄露任何 I won't reveal any information
关于你们这守卫森严的高档社区的消息 about your precious gated community
或者被守卫的那些居民的秘密身份 or the secret identities of the gated citizens.
现在 把名单给我 Now, give me the list.
芮妮·齐薇格住在这里 Ooh, Renee Zellweger lives here.
-是吗 -是啊 - Does she? - Yeah.
这里就给我们两个人住 This is just for the two of us?
显而易见 Apparently so.
我们的剧没好到这种程度啊 Our show's not this good.
前门开启 Front door ajar.
她真有趣 She's fun.
前门开启 Front door ajar.
我的天啊 Bloody hell.
里面更大 It's even bigger inside.
你还担心我们楼梯会不够多 And you were afraid we weren't gonna have enough staircases.
太扯淡了 This is mad.
看看这个 Look at this.
-非常好莱坞 -没错 - It's very Hollywood. - Yeah.
还修的很巧妙 也让人不安 And, construction-wise, a little disturbing.
我的上帝 Oh, my God.
我打算赖这间屋子不走了 I am never leaving this room.
我喜欢大到可以放游艇的浴缸 I like a bath you can dock a barge in.
放两艘都行 Big enough for two.
什么 现在 What, now?
我觉得有点 脏 I'm feeling a bit... dirty.
-你呢 -脏极了 - You? - Filthy.
你想把游艇停进去吗 Say, you want to dock that barge?
还是放个女的吧 Oh, always a lady.
说洗就洗 Let's do this.
-下次再说吧 -好的 - Well, maybe some other time. - Yeah.
走前别忘了 Oh, and don't forget to get your parking validated
办停车证 before you leave.
默克真的很想来 Merc really wanted to be here,
但他得呆在纽约 but he had to be in New York.
肖恩和贝佛利 这是安迪·巴顿 Sean and Beverly, this is Andy Button,
负责挑选演员的主管 our head of casting.
超级粉丝 我的天 Huge fan. Oh, my God.
我看了你们节目的录像 I've just been watching tapes of your show.
超级爆笑 超级 Beyond hysterical. Beyond.
这是麦拉·李赫特 喜剧片主管 And Myra Licht, head of comedy.
真的很有趣 It's really funny.
好了 坐 坐 坐 There you go. Sit, sit, sit.
你们住下来了吗 So, are you settling in?
不错的房子 是吧 Some house, huh?
太疯狂了 Ohh! It's insane.
就缺一条护城河了 The only thing that's missing is a moat.
收视率搞上去 默克会给你们挖条河 Well, get a big rating, Merc will dig you a moat.
她可不是在开玩笑 She's not kidding.
你们所有编剧都会住上那样的大房子吗 So, do you all your writers get houses like that?
不 不 Oh, no!
不 不 不 No, no, no.
我们刚在那儿拍完一部真人秀 We just finished shooting a reality show there,
离租期还剩6个礼拜 and we had six weeks left on the lease,
正巧得给你们找个地方住 and we needed a place for you guys.
要是你们闲得无聊 If you get bored,
可以自己玩个投票对决 you can vote each other off.
难怪会有那些柱子呢 Oh, well, that would explain the columns.
有几根是用聚苯乙烯做的 Several of them are made of polystyrene.
可能是有些布景还没清理掉吧 They're probably left over from some set.
很多真人秀都是在那幢房里拍的 They use that house for a lot of reality shows.
那儿拍过一整季的"单身汉" They shot a season of The Bachelor there,
应该还有《洛城学徒》 and, I think The Apprentice L.A.
前阵子是12个女孩住里面 We just had 12 girls living there,
争夺一个超模的席位 competing to become a supermodel.
卫生间确实是隐隐约约散发着呕吐的味道 Right, the bathroom did have a vague vomity smell.
可不是嘛 That would be why.
莱曼校长和男孩们 So, Lyman's Boys.
我们讨论一下演职人员吧 Let's talk about casting.
朱利安已经答应我们的邀请 Well, we already have Julian committed
将再次出演莱曼这个角色 to recreate the role of Lyman,
所以重头已经搞定了 so that's half the battle right there.
我们很爱朱利安 We love Julian!
喜剧之神 Comic god.
他太逗了 He's hilarious.
那看他什么时候有空来洛杉矶 We just need to find a time when he can fly over
默克好安排给他试镜 and audition for Merc.
试镜 Audition?
这边所有的演员 No one gets cast in anything
都要让默克亲自过目认可的 without Merc seeing them first.
太扯淡了 That's mad.
默克爱看这部剧 朱利安就是绝对主角 Merc loves the show. Julian is the show.
那为什么还要试镜呢 Why...shou he have to audition?
这个 Yeah,
其实吧 there is a chance
默克他有可能没看过你们的剧 Merc may not have actually seen your show.
-什么 -什么 - What? - What?
我不是说他没看过 I'm not saying that he hasn't seen it.
-那他看过没 -没 - Has he seen it? - No.
不对啊 他说他很爱看的 Hang on. He told us he loved it.
他还说 他想要跟我们的剧上床 He said he wanted to have sex with it.
如果默克想睡的每样东西 Well, if I had a nickel
我都能换个五分硬币 看都不用看 for everything Merc would have sex with, sight unseen...
她口袋可就沉了 She'd have a lot of nickels.
我就发财了 I'd be rich.
那他到底是喜欢哪一点呢 Then what about it did he love?
这可是热门剧啊 Uh, hello? It's a hit!
得了好多奖 连播4季 It wins awards. It ran for four years.
不是吧 Unbelievable.
我们都看过了 We have all seen it,
都很喜欢 and we do love it.
大爱 Major love.
这部戏 默克一秒钟都没看过 Merc's never seen the show?
我这 I can't--
那个 I mean, that's--
你说说吧 Help me.
你已经表达得很清楚了 You're articulating it perfectly.
所以必须让朱利安来试下镜 Which is why he really needs to see Julian read.
可我们已经答应他来演了 But we've already offered him the part.
为了这个角色他放弃了伦敦西区的一部剧 He gave up a play in the West End to do this.
伦敦西区是与纽约百老汇齐名的戏剧中心
我很理解 真的 I hear you, I do.
我保证默克肯定会爱死他的 And I am sure Merc will just flip over him.
天呐 这可是朱利安 I mean, my God! It's Julian...
-布拉德 -布拉德 - Bullard. - Bullard.
让默克看录影带不就好了吗 Can't Merc just watch some tapes of the show?
最好能真人演出 It's better if we do it in person.
他不太爱看电视的 He's not a big TV-watcher.
要是我们不答应呢 And if we say no?
可千万别跟默克叫板 You don't want to say no to Merc.
最好还是赢得他的支持 You really want him on your team.
他不是很支持我们的吗 I thought he was on our team.
没错 Totally. Ha!
如果他觉得朱利安可以 他肯定会的 But if he likes Julian-- and he will--
那就几乎可以保证你们的剧会播出 you're pretty much guaranteed you're on the air.
不是已经说保证播出了吗 He already guaranteed we were on the air.
没错 Absolutely!
但这也不是板上钉钉的事 But, you know, nothing's in stone.
默克告诉我们说 是板上钉钉的 Actually, Merc said this was in stone.
那就是了 不过 你们懂的 And it is. But, you know...
我们好像不懂 Clearly, we don't know.
是板上钉钉 不过 It's in stone, but...
钉钉嘛 ...stone--Ha ha!
有些东西比钉子更硬 There's things stronger than stone.
什么啊 Like what?
-默克 -是的 默克 - Like Merc. - Yeah, Merc.
默克比钉子还硬 Merc is stronger than stone.
-简直是太可恨了 -我知道 - It's outrageous! - No, I know.
居然要试镜 这角色他已经演了4年了 He has to audition-- the man has played the part for four years!
他们是疯了 你在吃什么 It's insane! What are you eating?
飞机上的坚果 难吃死了 Nuts from the plane. They're awful.
-你要来点不 -要 - Do you want some? - Sure.
华莱士 你好 Hello, Wallace.
你们是要找谁 And you're here to see...?
这场戏我记得 Oh, I remember this scene.
相当不错的 It's rather good.
朱利安 谢谢你能答应 Julian, thank you again for doing this.
居然要你试镜 我们真是想都不敢想 We're horrified you even need to go through it.
孩子们 别傻了 Oh, peaches, don't give it a second thought.
这生意我懂 我可不是新手 I understand. I'm not new.
老板就是这种装逼的人 The King won't let us play
非得享受不可一世的满足感 until he shows everybody how big his dick is.
你们会觉得对着自己的老婆或者男朋友 Though, you'd think they'd have wives
显摆自己老二大就可以了吧 但不行 and boyfriends for that. But no.
默克到了 现在就开始吧 Merc's here. We can start.
好的 All right.
明星登场啊 来抱一个 'Ello, guv'nor! Come 'ere!
每次都这样 Oh. Every time.
那么 可以请朱利安出场了吗 So, shall I bring in Julian?
当然 当然 Yeah, yeah, yeah.
各位 这位就是 Everyone, may I introduce...
朱利安·布拉德 Julian Bullard.
欢迎 朱利安 谢谢你赶过来 Welcome, Julian. Thanks for coming in.
不客气 Not at all.
我上一次试镜的时候 You know, the last time I had to audition
还是87年的事呢 was...'87.
那次是试镜《私人生活》 It was to do Private Lives
后来跟达姆·朱迪合拍的戏 with Dame Judi at the National,
所以 这次也算承蒙关照了 so this is a bit of a treat.
非常感谢您 Well, we all appreciate it.
谁来跟我对词 Mm. And with whom will I be reading?
我 荣幸之至 Me. Career highlight.
给未看过此剧的朋友介绍一下 For those who haven't seen this episode,
这场戏里 朱利安将告诉一位孩子 in this scene, Julian has to tell one of the boys
圣艾班学校准备把他开除 he's been asked to leave St. Abban's.
这一幕很精彩 Oh, this is a good one!
随时可以开始 Whenever you're ready.
罗比 Robbie...
恐怕你不能在圣艾班继续待下去了 I'm afraid your time at St. Abban's has come to an end.
什么 为什么 What? Why?
老师们和我都认为 Well, the teachers and I think
也许你去一个对成绩要求不那么高的学校 that you would do better at a school
会更好 with a less academically demanding curriculum.
为什么 Why?
我们觉得 你更适合于 We feel that you need
对智力要求不那么高的环境 a more intellectually diminished environment.
我不明白 I don't understand.
该怎么说呢 Uh, how to put this?
你不够聪明 You're not bright.
我很聪明 I'm bright.
-不 -我不笨 - No. - I'm not stupid.
你绝对没有不笨 You are not not stupid.
否定词是不是多了点 Was that too many "Nots"?
也许我只是没发挥出潜力呢 Maybe I'm just not working up to my full potential.
你使出吃奶的劲也就这点本事了 No, this is you firing on all cylinders.
不过你也不用沮丧 But all is not bleak.
孩子 你有一种特质 For you, young man, have something
比聪明才智重要得多 far more important than intelligence.
你 You are...
长着一张偶像脸 attractive.
所有的诺贝尔奖得主 There isn't a Nobel laureate
都甘愿智商降低20点 that wouldn't happily give 20 I.Q. Points
来换取一张漂亮脸蛋 for those chiseled cheekbones
还有一对美臀 and that pert little bum.
再说了 你又是富二代 Plus, your family is rich.
说不定哪天你还能当上总统呢 My God. You could be running this whole country one day.
我可以向你保证 And I assure you,
聪明才智对你来说只是拦路石 intelligence would only get in your way.
谢谢你 Thank you.
朱利安 你能稍微离开会吗 Julian, could you just give us a minute?
当然 Certainly.
演得真好 That was a treat.
我得说 他真是很厉害啊 I gotta tell you-- he's the real deal, huh?
是啊 Yes, he is.
那 没问题了吧 So, we're all set?
-怎么 -那个 - Yes? - Well...
是只有我 is it me?
还是说大家都觉得 Or does anybody else...
他有点太英伦腔了 feel like he comes off a bit too English?
是啊 有点 Yeah, a little. Yeah, yeah.
太英伦腔 Hmm. Too English.
也许是因为 Possibly it's because...
他是英国人呢 he's English?
是啊 Yeah!
不不 他有点 No, no. He just--
他听起来 太 He sounds, uh, a little too...
像个管家 mmm, butlery.
如果我们是打算 I mean, if we're doing
拍个美国版的 an American version of the show--
是没错 可他演的是 Yes, but he's playing the headmaster
上层寄宿学校的校长啊 of an elite boarding school.
孩子们都是美国人 The boys will be American,
别的老师也是 the other teachers.
他为何不可以是英国腔 Why can't he be British?
我懂你的意思 Oh, no, I hear you.
但我们得让观众喜欢他 But we need the audience to like him.
这是实话 Hmm, that's true. Oh, yeah.
他得有亲切感 He has got to be likeable, mmm.
我都不好意思跟你开这个口 I can't believe we're actually asking you this.
真的 我觉得都不是我自己在说话了 Truly, I am having an out-of-body experience.
我可能是生病了 I may be sick.
朱利安 如果你拒绝我们也完全理解 Julian, we'd understand completely if you said no,
不过 你能不能用美国口音 but could you possibly do the scene again
再演一下那一幕 in an American accent?
没问题 No problem.
-真的 -是啊 - Really? - Yeah.
亲爱的 Oh, dear ones.
我出演尤金·奥尼尔 I was doing Eugene O'Neill
二者都是美国著名剧作家
和田纳西·威廉斯的戏的时候你俩还没出生呢 and Tennessee Williams before you were born.
你多大年纪了 Ohh! How old are you?
反正很大年纪了 Just old.
大家都还记得朱利安·布拉德吧 You all remember Julian Bullard.
欢迎回来 布拉德先生 Welcome back, Mr. Bullard.
开始吗 Shall we do this?
罗比 Robbie.
恐怕你不能在圣艾班继续待下去了 I'm afraid your time at St. Abban's has come to an end.
什么 为什么 What? Why?
老师们和我都认为 Well, the teachers and I
你去一所 think you would do better at a school
也许你去一个对成绩要求不那么高的学校 with a less academically demanding curriculum.
为什么 Why?
我们觉得 你更适合于 Well, we feel you need a more intellectually...
对智力要求不那么高的环境 diminished environment.
我不明白 I don't understand.
该怎么说呢 How to put this?
你不够聪明 You're not bright.
-我很聪明 -不 - I'm bright. - No.
我不笨 I'm not stupid.
你可没有不笨 You're not not stupid.
抱歉 我能再演一遍吗 I'm sorry. Can I just go back a little bit on that?
当然 Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
那么 So, um--
该怎么说呢 Well, how to put this?
呃 你不够聪明 Uh, you're not bright.
你 呃 You're--Uhh.
你不够聪明 呃 You're not bright. Um...
你不够聪明 你很笨 You're not bright. You're stupid.
抱歉 能不能 I'm sorry. Could--
我能再试试吗 Could I just try one more thing?
当然 没问题 试吧 Absolutely. No problem. Yeah, anything.
试试南方口音吧 Southern, maybe? OK. Um...
字幕 Um...um...
你不够聪明 Uh, you're not bright.
-我很聪明 -不 - I'm bright. - No.
我可不笨 I'm not stupid.
你绝对没有不笨 You're not not stupid.
这么多否定词 That too many "Nots" there...
老搭档 partner?
我觉得我演的 I suppose that would be
应该是哪所牛仔学校的校长 if I was the headmaster of a cowboy school.
好吧 All right.
大家也都看得差不多了 I believe we have seen enough.
我认识路自己出去 I know the way out.
我来过这儿 I have been here before.
非常感谢我今天能来 Thank me very much for coming in today.
向上天祈祷 And let's hope to heaven...
希望宾馆里有酒吧 there's a bar in the hotel.
是我的错觉吗 还是说他一点也不好笑了 Is it me, or was he just not funny?
刚刚是怎么回事 What just happened?
我也不明白 而且 I don't know. And, in case you're wondering,
我比你还茫然 I'll be wanting at least that much.
奶奶个熊的 Bloody pillar.
好吧 好吧 All right, all right.
我们来看看积极的方面 Let's look on the positive side.
-积极的方面 -对啊 - Positive side? - Well--
不 就这一次 拜托 No, just once, please,
别给我找什么积极的方面 do not try and find a positive side!
我怀疑你能不能找出来 就算你能找出来 Because even if you can, which I very much doubt,
我的消极情绪也比你的积极情绪强大 my negative is so much, much bigger than your positive.
我的消极公开嘲笑你的积极 My negative openly mocks your positive.
我的消极一巴掌扇飞你的积极 My negative slaps your positive around.
我的消极抓住你的积极 My negative grabs your positive,
压在沙发上 爆它菊花 bends it over the sofa, and buggers it from behind.
我的积极可不喜欢这样 My positive did not enjoy that.
你好 Hello?
你好 卡罗 Hi, Carol.
给她放免提 Put her on that speaker thing.
嗨 你们好啊 Hi, kids!
今天挺郁闷的 Tough day.
是啊 没错 Yep. Yes, it was.
我们都感觉很糟糕 Yeah, we all feel terrible.
默克打算给你们送一篮罗甘莓 Merc is sending you a basket of loganberries.
太好了 Oh, lovely.
你俩怎么样了 So, how are you two doing?
现在嘛 Well, er--
我们现在不是很乐观 可以这么说 We're not feeling positive, I can tell you that.
我也觉得 I'm sure.
无论如何 Anyway...
我们应该努力积极向前看 we should all try and look forward.
我们还是很爱莱曼校长和男孩们 We still love Lyman's Boys.
很爱 We do! Mm-hm.
我们只是很难想象这戏没有朱利安是什么样子 We just find it hard to imagine doing it without Julian.
我明白 I understand.
不过先别想那个 But before we go there,
我们想跟你聊一个想法 we wanted to share an idea with you.
那是另一种思路 It's a different way to go,
所以就当是大胆设想一下 so keep your minds open.
我们刚发现 We just found out
有一名演员可以参演 that there is an actor available.
巨星 Huge star.
超级搞笑 Hysterically funny.
很受观众喜爱 The audience just loves him.
他准备返回电视界 And he's ready to come back to TV.
默克觉得他非常适合 Merc thinks that he would be perfect for this.
真的吗 谁 Really? Who?
马特·勒布朗 Matt LeBlanc.
接下来
怎么 你们想让我来演那个老胖子的角色 What, you want me for the old fat guy's part?
谢了 Thanks.
-我们没想让你演 -再说一次 谢了 - We don't want you. - Again, thanks.
他们很爱你 They loved you!
我还不一定爱不爱他们呢 I don't know that I love them.
别让他们强迫你拉你不想要的人来演 Don't let them force you to cast anyone you don't want.
我彻底错了 是吗 I'm totally wrong for it, aren't I?
错大了 Spectacularly wrong.
拉到了马特·勒布朗入伙 Got Matt LeBlanc!
什么 What?!