前情回顧
我很喜歡你們的劇 I love your show.
超愛 說真的 I love it. Seriously,
我簡直想跟它上床 I want to have sex with your show.
知道我的幻想是什么嗎 You know what my fantasy is?
明早醒來 I wake up tomorrow
在我的電視臺播你們的劇 and I've got your show on my network.
什么意思 讓我們去洛杉磯嗎 What, us come to L.A.?
有什么難的 你們已經寫出了劇本 How hard can it be? You've already written the scripts.
已經很完美了 It's perfect the way it is.
一天也就工作二十分鐘 You work 20 minutes a day,
剩下的時間 the rest of the time,
隨便你們在泳池里亂搞 you can screw in the pool.
聽到沒 還會有游泳池呢 You hear that? We'd get a pool.
我們討論一下演職人員吧 Let's talk about casting.
朱利安已經答應我們的邀請 Well, we already have Julian
將再次出演萊曼這個角色 committed to recreate the role of Lyman.
所以重頭已經搞定了 So, that's half the battle right there.
默克愛看這部劇 朱利安就是絕對主角 Merc loves the show, Julian is the show.
其實吧 There is a chance
默克他有可能沒看過你們的劇 Merc may not have actually seen your show.
-什么 -我不是說他沒看過 - What? - I'm not saying that he hasn't seen it.
-那他看過沒 -沒 - Has he seen it? - No.
我們剛發現 We just found out
有一名演員可以參演 that there is an actor available...
巨星 huge star...
他準備返回電視界 and he's ready to come back to TV.
真的嗎 誰 Really? Who?
馬特·勒布朗 Matt Leblanc.
第二集
本字幕由YYeTs人人影視翻譯制作 更多字幕下載 請登陸 www.YYeTs.net
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翻譯：紅豆包 Juno_Juanno 里外黑 NANA
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時間軸：癢小熊 校對：NANA
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后期：青春的老頭子 總監：NANA
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馬特·勒布朗 Matt Leblanc?
沒錯 Right.
馬特·勒布朗 Matt Leblanc...
來演萊曼 To play Lyman?
我說過那是另一種思路 Well...I said it's a different way to go.
一名博學的 For the erudite,
口舌如簧的 verbally dexterous headmaster
上層寄宿男校的校長 of an elite boys' academy,
你建議 you're suggesting...
由喬伊來演 Joey?
他可能是不太適合 Look, he's probably wrong for it.
可能 Probably?
-他很有趣 -是挺有趣的 - He is very funny. - He really is.
我甚至很喜歡他演的那部猴子電影 I even liked him in that monkey movie.
什么猴子電影 What monkey movie?
拜托了 見個面 Please, just take the meeting...
出于禮貌 as a courtesy.
就當為了默克 他真的想挖馬特 For Merc. He really wants to get Matt
來我們電視臺 over here to the network,
目前為止這是唯一一個 and so far, this is the only project
他有興趣做的項目 he's interested in doing.
馬特·勒布朗想參與我們的劇嗎 Matt Leblanc wants to do our show?
你開玩笑嗎 Are you kidding?
求之不得 Dying to.
他在英國拍電影時看了你們的劇 He saw it when he was in England, shooting a movie.
超級粉絲 Huge fan.
-是嗎 -那又怎樣 - Really? - So what?
怎么樣 我能告訴默克你們愿意見面嗎 So? Can I tell Merc you'll take the meeting?
一頓飯而已 出于禮貌 It's one lunch... you know, as a courtesy.
好的 好的 我們會見面的 Yeah, fine, fine. We'll... we'll take the meeting.
太棒了 還有 Awesome. Also...
默克想讓我傳達一個小小的邀請 Merc wanted me to pass on a little invitation.
他將于周六晚上在他家 He's having a dinner party
舉辦一場晚宴 at his house on Saturday night,
他很希望你們二位蒞臨 and he'd love you guys to come.
出于禮貌 As a courtesy.
這可是大件事 It's a very big deal.
我從來沒去過他家 I've never been to his house.
我開車路過過 I've driven past it.
請轉告默克我們很樂意出席 Please tell Merc we would love to come.
迫不及待 We can't wait.
回吻你們 Aww. Kisses to you, too.
-你開什么玩笑 -怎么了 - You're kidding. - What?
怎么了 她搞得你都語無倫次了 What? She almost tripped over your tongue.
你真喜歡那種類型 You really like that?
是的 Yes.
-很明顯是假的 -是啊 - They're so obviously fake. - Yes?
這樣都沒關系嗎 That doesn't bother you?
又不是干了什么壞事 She's not hurting anybody.
他們問我們是否有資金 They're asking if we have the financing?
讓他去死 告訴他們我們正在找其他地方 Screw that. Tell them we're looking at another location,
如果周五前還沒歇業 and if we're not closed by the end of today,
整件事就免談了 the whole thing is off the table.
再見 抱歉 Bye. Sorry.
我打算買一家餐館 I'm trying to buy a restaurant.
-我叫貝佛利 這是肖恩 -嗨 - I'm Beverly. This is Sean. - Hey.
我來這干嗎 So...I'm here why?
談談我們的劇 Er, well, to talk about our show.
什么劇 What show?
太好了 Brilliant.
你最近有在英國拍電影嗎 Did... did you recently shoot a movie in England?
沒有 No.
那么 你并沒有很迷了 So, you're not a huge fan?
迷英國 Of England? Ehh...
不 不 我們 No, no. Of us.
你們的 不是 Oh, you? No.
倒還不算太尷尬 Well, this isn't at all awkward.
我問你們個問題 Let me ask you something.
你們愿意去一家 Would you go to a restaurant
自己卷壽司的餐館嗎 where you roll your own sushi?
當然不愿意 Absolutely not.
看 這正是我所擔心的 See, that's what I'm afraid of.
等一下 Oh. One sec.
你們不會相信的 You won't believe this.
現在他們又打算為廚房設備 Now they're trying to add an extra charge
額外要價 for the kitchen equipment.
他們可以去 "Well, they can go...
滾他媽的 "Fuck...
一邊去 "Themselves."
太酷了 我只輸入了兩個字母 This is so cool. I just type in "f-u",
就自動出來"他媽的"這個詞 and it knows I mean "fuck".
科技 Science...
帶給我們的禮物 The gifts you've given us.
你們是在拍個什么劇 So, you guys have some sort of show?
是一部喜劇 在英國已經播出四年了 Yes, it's a comedy. It's been on in the U.K. for four years.
怪不得有口音 That explains the accents.
接著說 Go on.
要不你先發完短信 Do you want to finish that before we...
不用 不用 我聽著呢 你們是英國人 No, no, I'm with you. You're English,
在拍一部什么劇 you have some sort of show.
是的 這部戲是關于一個 Well, yeah. It's about a headmaster
上層預備學校的校長 of an elite prep school...
和他的學生們 and his relationship with the students
以及形形色色的老師們之間關系 and the various teachers.
是《歷史男孩》吧 So, it's History Boys.
什么 《歷史男孩》 What? History Boys.
你看過《歷史男孩》 You've seen History Boys.
亞倫·班奈編劇的 沒錯 The Alan Bennett play... Yeah.
我們的劇和《歷史男孩》一點也不像 Our show is nothing like History Boys.
那部戲以文法學校為背景 Theirs was set in a grammar school.
我們的劇發生在寄宿學校 Ours takes place at a boarding school.
他們講的是關于一個歷史老師 Theirs was about a history teacher.
我們講的是一個校長和幾個老師的故事 Ours is about a headmaster and several other teachers.
好吧 好吧 那就是《歷史男孩》遇上了 Ok, ok. So, it's History Boys meets...
你所說的非《歷史男孩》 you saying it's not History Boys.
-它不是《歷史男孩》 -好吧 - It's not History Boys. - All right.
我收回我說的話 它不是《歷史男孩》 I take it back. It's not History Boys.
那它叫什么 What's it called?
《萊曼校長和孩子們》 Lyman's boys.
我們先起的名字 We had the name first.
怎么 你們想讓我來演那個老胖子的角色 And so, what... you want me for the old fat guy's part?
謝了 Thanks.
-我們沒想讓你演 -再說一次 謝了 - We don't want you. - Again, thanks.
她的意思是 What she means is, um...
電視臺建議你來演 The network suggested you.
我們壓根沒想到 It would never have occurred to us.
這完全是另一種思路 It's such a different way to go.
但我們 But we are...
是你的超級粉絲 huge admirers...
嗨 Yo.
不 那意思是滾一邊去 No, that was supposed to say "fuck".
我為什么會說你自己一邊玩去 Why would I say, "go fun yourself"?
不 No.
不 不 不 不 No, no, no, no.
不 No.
不 不 No. No.
不 不 N-o. No.
不 No-o-o.
不 No.
嗨 Yo.
-他們很愛你 -誰們 -They loved you. -Who?
那對英國夫婦 The British people.
他們很喜歡我 They loved me?
卡羅·蘭斯剛從臺里打來電話 Carol Rance just called from the network.
她說他們很愛你 要你加入 She said they loved you and they want you.
很好 That's good.
非常好 It's very good.
-我不知道 -什么 - I don't know. - What?
我還不一定愛不愛他們呢 I don't know that I love them.
你可以試著喜歡上他們 Well, maybe you can learn to love them.
默克·拉皮多斯很想促成這事兒 Merc Lapidus really wants this to happen.
他們準備好了一卡車錢送到你家 They got a money truck ready to drive up to your house.
多大的卡車 How big a truck?
很大很大 老多輪子了 Oh, it's a big truck. Lots of wheels.
你說這錢 能夠我開家新餐館嗎 Are we talking, like, new restaurant money?
這錢都夠開連鎖餐館了 We're talking chain of restaurants money.
很不錯嘛 Nice truck.
不過你知道那個角色嗎 But have you heard the part?
一個什么私立學校的肥佬校長 This fat old headmaster of some private school?
他們會換掉那個角色的 So, they'll change the part,
他們會換成別的 they'll make it something else
你想要的角色 whatever you want.
這可是馬特·勒布朗的戲 Come on, it's the Matt Leblanc show.
再跟我說說關于那一卡車錢 Tell me more about the money truck.
就是一輛卡車 裝滿了錢 It's a truck... and it's full of money!
直接開到我家 Right up to the house?
你都不用走到信箱那 You won't even have to go to the mailbox.
華萊士 你認識我們的 Wallace, you know us.
我們每天都要來這一套 We go through this everyday.
你怎么能記不得呢 How can you not remember?
今早離開時我們還向你揮手呢 We waved to you when we left this morning.
誰都揮 Everybody waves.
-叫什么 -林肯 - Name? - Lincoln.
-林肯 -林肯 肯定的肯 - Lincoln. - Lincoln. With an "L".
就跟林肯轎車 紐約的林肯隧道 Like the car, the tunnel in New York,
還有你們那位死翹翹的總統一個名字 your dead president.
我瞅瞅 I'll check.
喂 Hello?
我們拉到了馬特·勒布朗 We got Matt Leblanc.
-什么 -你能相信嗎 - What?! - Can you believe it?
不 你說過那不過是出于禮貌而已 No! You... you... you said it was a courtesy.
是啊 不過他答應了 It was. But he said yes.
不是他出于禮貌 而是我們 Not his courtesy... our courtesy!
不管是誰的 我們高興得都快瘋了 Either way, we're over the moon here.
最好的部分是什么呢 And the best part?
默克又對這部戲燃起了激情 Merc's excited about the show again.
他什么時候對這戲沒激情了 When did he stop being excited about the show?
沒啊 Never.
謝謝 Thank you.
我的天啊 那是羅斯科的畫 Bloody hell. That's a Rothko.
他在房子里掛了一幅羅斯科的畫 He has a Rothko in his house.
你知道那幅畫值多少錢嗎 Do you realize what that's worth?
這里有些女人好瘦啊 Some of these women are so thin.
不 親愛的 告訴我 No, darling, tell me...
一幅羅斯科的畫值多少錢 what is a Rothko worth?
我說真的 No, seriously.
你看那個女的 Look at that one.
我的胳膊比她的肥 My arm weighs more than she does.
別看我的胳膊 Don't look at my arms!
你倆晚上好啊 Top of the evening to you, blokes!
你好 Hello.
非常感謝邀請我們 Thank you so much for having us.
-你家很漂亮 -藝術品 很驚艷 - Your home is beautiful. - The art. Amazing.
都是杰米打理的 Oh, well, that's all Jamie.
我只管付錢 I-I just pay for it.
你們見過我的妻子了嗎 Hey. Have you guys met my wife yet?
打擾一下 Excuse us.
這位是杰米 This is Jamie.
寶貝 這就是那兩位英國編劇 Honey, these are those English writers,
肖恩和貝佛利 Sean and Beverly...
-林肯 -我知道 - Lincoln. - I know!
幸會 So nice to meet you.
歡迎來到洛杉磯 Welcome to L.A.
怎么樣 準備好打道回府了嗎 So, are you ready to go back to England yet?
-沒啊 -快了 -Hardly. -In a heartbeat.
有什么需要的話 Well, if there's anything you need,
就給我打電話 please, call me.
不是洛杉磯式的"打電話給我" And not like an L.A. "call me".
我說真的 讓這家伙把我的號碼給你們 I mean it. Make sure this one gives you my number.
謝謝 你真體貼 Thank you. That's so sweet.
亞瑟和瑪德琳來了 Woo. Arthur and Madelyn just got here.
失陪一下 Oh, would you excuse me for a moment?
-她真迷人 -她可棒了 - She's lovely. - She's the best...
還很瞎 and blind.
對 Uh... yes.
-兩年了 -真的嗎 - Two years now. - Really?
我們當時在夏威夷 We were in Hawaii.
她吃了壞掉的魚 She ate some kind of bad fish.
嘭 產生了毒性作用 Boom! Has a toxic reaction,
她昏迷了兩個星期 goes into a coma for two weeks.
當她醒過來的時候 瞎了 When she comes out of it... blind.
-我的天啊 -真可怕 - Oh, my god. - That's horrifying.
是啊 那次度假可不愉快 Yeah, that was not a good vacation.
而且那段時間幾乎每天下雨 Plus, it rained practically everyday.
我們去的是考艾島 所以雨水繁多 Well, Kauai. That's why it's so lush.
考艾島: 夏威夷群島之第四大島
當然 Yes, well...
對于一個失去視力不久的人來說 for... for someone who's only been... sightless for a short time,
她看來還挺行的 she seems amazingly capable.
她非常努力 She's worked so hard.
我簡直很崇拜她 She's my hero.
我是說 她會摔倒 I mean... she falls down...
很多次 a lot.
出于某種原因 她今晚倒是沒有摔倒 For some reason, she's not doing it tonight,
但你真應該看看她的小腿 but you should see her shins.
青一塊紫一塊的 Bruises... sheesh!
我要想幫她一把 Whenever I offer to help her,
她就會說 不 我必須自己來 she's like, "No, I have to do it myself."
我就會說 那得費多少事啊 I'm like, "But it's gonna take so much longer that way."
但她非得自己來 But she's gotta do it.
出個門得花上八輩子時間 It takes us forever to get out of the house.
不過呢 Well, on the other hand,
她購物也少了 she shops less.
看那景色 Look at that view.
-嗨 小朋友們 -嗨 卡羅 - Hi, kids! - Hi, Carol.
玩得開心嗎 So, having fun?
肯定的 Absolutely.
看起來不錯哎 Ooh, those look good.
我們在烘焙奶油蛋卷上放些神戶牛肉 We have a kobe beef on a toasted brioche,
頂上再加上香脆薯條 topped with crispy potato
最后擠上辣根鮮濃奶油 and a horseradish cream fraiche.
我可無法抗拒 Mmm, saying no to that.
我不要了 Oh, um, you know, I'm... I'm fine.
別啊 Oh, come on.
某些特定時刻 我會說 去他的 At a certain point, I said screw it.
我永遠也不會像她們那樣 I'm never gonna look like them.
我是說 我也不想看上去像她們那樣 I mean, I don't want to look like them.
人生苦短 Life's too short.
真謝謝你 Oh. Thank you.
真好吃 Mmm. Yum.
那么 Mmm. So...
你們跟馬特打招呼了嗎 have you guys said hi to Matt yet?
天啊 他在這嗎 Oh, Christ. He's here?
就在外面花園里 你們應該去打個招呼 Yeah, out in the garden. You should go say hello.
為什么 Why?
也許因為他是這部劇的主角 Maybe because he's the star of our show?
什么 -你說了出來 What? -When you say it,
我就不得不相信它是真的了 it makes it real.
別啊 他會很棒的 Oh, come on. He's gonna be great.
快出去套套近乎 Now, get out there and make nice.
這事怎么也得做啊 Come on. You gotta do it.
來這里又不是來玩的 No one's here to have fun.
天啊 Oh, god.
友好點 Be nice.
-你先說 -好 - You speak first, then. - Ok.
失陪一下 是你們倆啊 Excuse me. Hey, it's you guys!
-你好啊先生 -馬特 - Hello, sir. - Matt.
你知道我最近幾天在忙什么嗎 You know what I've been doing the last few days?
發短信 Texting?
在看你們的電視劇 Watching tapes of your show.
-精彩之至 -真的 - It's fantastic! - Really?
跟你不知道似的 天啊 Like you don't know. Oh, my god.
真的很好笑 So funny.
還很機智 老天 我愛死它了 And smart. Jesus, I love it!
-你認真的 -是啊 - You're serious? - Uh... yeah!
這完全不是《歷史男孩》嘛 And it's totally not History Boys.
謝謝 Thank you.
我喜歡劇本 I love the writing,
還有角色 the characters.
美版的也要像英版那樣做 And we've got to do it like you did it over there...
用普通小孩來演 而不是演員 casting real kids, not TV kids.
這的確是重點 That's the key.
重點就是這個啊 That is the key.
還有那圖書管理員 Oh, and the librarian?
-妮柯拉 -沒錯 - Nicola. - Yeah.
閃亮的角色 Great part.
誰來演你們定了嗎 You guys have anyone in mind yet?
還沒 臺里給我們發了一份名單 No. The network has sent us a list.
列了那些他們認為響當當的名字 People they're really excited about.
-誰啊 -我們都不認識 - Like who? - We didn't know any of them.
有幾個叫希瑟的 幾個叫詹妮弗的 A couple of Heathers, a bunch of Jennifers,
還有個叫度西庫的 Somebody Dushku.
反正只要你們認為不合適的 Yeah, well, don't let them force you
就別讓他們來演 To cast anyone you don't want.
-行 -我說真的 - All right. - I mean it.
如果他們想來硬的 就讓我來唱白臉 If they start pushing you around, let me be the bad guy.
-真的嗎 -當然了 - Really? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
這幫人耍你們容易 It's a lot harder for them to fuck with me
想耍我就難了 Than fuck with you.
再說 我跟默克的關系也不是一兩天了 Besides, merc and I go way back.
他還在NBC體育頻道時候我們就很熟了 I've known him since he ran NBC sports
還幫我聯系湖人的啦啦隊女孩 And used to get me laker girls.
哇 謝謝分享 Wow. Good to know.
飾妮柯拉的演員一定得精挑細選 Yeah, we gotta get someone great for nicola.
必須是個聰明的女強人 She's got to be strong and smart
-還要優雅 -是 - And classy. - Right.
還要漂亮 And also beautiful...
不過得顯得真實 But, like, in a real way.
她能演嗎 She can't act, can she?
啥 那個 我不行 What... that's... I don't... ha ha!
看她 多優雅 That's her... classy.
夏敦誒酒嗆到鼻子里去了 I believe I have chardonnay up my nose.
晚餐已準備完畢 Dinner is being served.
太好了 Oh, thank god.
真是沒想到啊 Well, who saw that coming?
他居然那么有魅力 怎么會這樣 He's actually charming. How did that happen?
簡直就是變魔術 It's like a magic trick.
他好像比那天高了點 Does he seem taller than the other day?
就是 還聰明了點 Yes, and smarter.
我根本不知道他竟然還這么聰明 I had no idea he was so smart.
但他還是不適合那個角色 He's still wrong for the part.
完全不適合 但他的頭發可真好 He's totally wrong. But he has such nice hair.
我特地多買了個行李箱 I brought an extra suitcase
里面全放著玩具 Filled with nothing but toys.
帶到孤兒院里打開給孩子們看了之后 When we got to the orphanage and opened it,
他們都呆坐在那兒 很迷茫 The children just sat there, uncertain.
一位修女告訴我們說 One of the nuns told us that some of these children
有些孩子根本從來就沒見過玩具 had never actually seen a toy,
擁有玩具的孩子當然更是少之又少 Much less had one of their own.
所以會讓你更加珍惜 It just makes you appreciate so much.
那包玩具里 有一只娃娃 One of the things I brought was a doll
是我送給侄女的圣誕禮物 That I'd given my niece for christmas.
她只玩了一次 She just played with it once
就丟在一旁再也不看了 And had gotten bored with it.
我把這個娃娃遞給了一個小女孩 I handed it to this little girl,
她把娃娃緊緊地抱在胸口 And she clutched it to her chest
告訴修女說 今天是她一生中最美好的一天 And told one of the nuns it was the best day of her life.
這件事發生在多哥 Oh! and that was Togo.
然后我們又去了贊比亞 I mean, then we were off to Zambia.
那里的孩子真苦 The children there... ohh.
你們有孩子嗎 You guys have kids?
沒 你呢 No. Do you?
兩個男孩 Two boys.
我不知道你還結婚了 Oh. Didn't realize you were married.
現在沒了 Heh heh. Not anymore.
你還挺高興啊 He said, vehemently.
那段婚姻經歷可不咋地 It was not one of the good ones.
-是嗎 -嗯 - No? - No.
我們根本就不應該結婚 We never should've done it.
我們兩個根本就是 We were totally wrong for each other, like...
水火不容 Oil and water?
其實呢 是水跟火的好朋友上床了 More like oil and something that sleeps with oil's best friend.
天吶 Oh, my god.
我根本想不明白 女人干嘛要做這種事 I don't understand how women do that.
她有兩個孩子呢 With two children...
不不不 是我 No, no, no, no. It was me.
我睡了她的好朋友 I slept with her best friend.
我可不是個好丈夫 I was not a good husband.
顯然不是 Heh. Apparently not.
但我是個很好的爸爸 But I am a very good dad.
大的是艾登 小的是邁克爾 That's aiden, and the little one's michael.
他們真漂亮 Oh, they're gorgeous.
看上去很貼心啊 They seem very sweet.
這倆可是能把人逼瘋的 They can drive you crazy.
千萬別去問他們恐龍是怎么叫的 Don't ever ask them what a dinosaur sounds like,
特別是在車里時 Especially if you're in a car.
真是太棒了 But, you know, they're pretty amazing.
他們倆是我這輩子最大的成就 They're the best thing I've ever done in my life.
不管怎樣 Anyway...
馬克·威爾森的畫 It's a mark wilson.
我知道 這是他的早期作品 No, I know. But an early one.
后來他把一切都畫成了棕色 Before he decided the only color was brown.
了不起的收藏吧 Amazing collection, huh?
太棒了 Oh, brilliant.
你真該看看 You should see...
在他的主臥室里 In the master bedroom,
有一幅內維爾森的畫 there is a nevelson that...
簡直就是博物館級別的 It should be in a museum.
-真的嗎 -嗯 - Really? - Mm.
-他臥室能進嗎 -應該不能 - Are we allowed up there? - Probably not.
你可不可以別告訴其他人 Would you mind not mentioning to anyone
我去過他臥室 That I've been in the master bedroom?
當然 All right.
我只是避免讓其他人 I just wouldn't want anyone
產生誤會 to get the wrong impression.
沒錯 Absolutely.
"她跟老板睡覺了" "she's sleeping with her boss."
我可不想讓別人覺得我是這種女人 Wouldn't want to be that girl.
特別是她老婆還瞎了 Especially since his wife is blind.
沒錯 Right. Ha!
這樣的話我簡直就是 Because that would make me...
-禽獸啊 -是的 - A monster. - Yes.
即使是在她眼睛還沒壞的時候 Even if it started before she went...
-那也不行 -沒錯 - Still not good. - Right.
我在給他們拍照 And here they're pretending
他們都假裝不知道的樣子 They don't know I'm taking their picture.
但你看 兩人都在對我豎中指呢 But look... they're both giving me the finger.
應該是他們老爸教的吧 I assume their father taught them that.
還不會說話的時候就學會了 Before they could even talk.
這么小的中指我還沒見過呢 I've never actually seen a "fuck you" finger that tiny.
可愛吧 Pretty cute, huh?
這也正是我對于我們這事所期待的 That's one of the things I'm looking forward to with our thing...
跟孩子們一塊工作 working with kids.
那些非主流孩子們 Talk to me three weeks in.
他們簡直就是一群帶著經紀人的小野獸 They're like sticky animals with agents.
我真的是非常榮幸 I gotta say, I'm so excited.
那個角色太棒了 It's an awesome part.
謝謝 Thank you.
我從沒演過這樣的角色 I've never played anyone like him.
我想也是 I'm sure.
老實說吧 是不是他們把我強塞進這部劇 Be honest. Did the network force me down your throats?
肖恩不會承認的 Sean would tell you no.
因為肖恩會說謊 Sean would be lying.
這個角色不適合我對吧 I'm totally wrong for it, aren't I?
一百二十分的不適合 Spectacularly wrong.
我就知道 我被耍了 I knew it. I'm so screwed.
其實吧 If it helps,
我們全都被耍了 We're screwed with you.
沒人喜歡自己一個人被耍的 Hey, no one likes to be screwed alone.
那 我們怎么辦 So, what do we do?
我也不知道啊 Uh, I'm not sure. It's just...
你扮演一個學校的校長 You as the headmaster of a school...
是啊 I know.
很明顯 你是相當有智慧的人 I mean, you're obviously very intelligent.
是嗎 Really?
剛才肖恩還跟我說 Sean and I were just saying
你很聰明呢 How smart you are.
哇 我很少收到這樣的評價啊 Wow. That's a conversation that doesn't happen a lot.
但這個角色的話 But for this role...
那如果我不當校長呢 Well, what if I wasn't the headmaster?
我能不能演學校里的其他角色 What if I was someone else at the school?
那個 Um, that...
這樣的話 對劇本的影響還是挺大的 That would change the show considerably.
求你了 幫我一把吧 Come on, you gotta help me here.
我真的希望這部劇能火 I kind of need this to be a hit.
或者至少能成為脫口秀上的一個笑點 Or at least something you can't make fun of on a talk show.
也許吧 Um...perhaps.
很好 也許就很好 Good. Perhaps is good.
也許 你可以當 Perhaps, uh, you could be...
我也不知道 一個歷史教授 I don't know... A history professor
對軍隊征戰很有激情 with a passion for military campaigns.
或者一名教練 一名教練 Or a coach. A... A coach.
摔跤教練那樣的 Like a wrestling coach?
把孩子摔來摔去的 Throwing the kids around.
看 Well, um, see,
那樣整部戲就完全不一樣了 that would be a very different kind of show.
最好是比較有深度一點的 There's a level of sophistication.
好吧 好吧 Hmm. Right. Ok, uh...
曲棍球怎么樣 What about lacrosse?
這樣就有你所說的那種深度了吧 That's got your whole sophisticated thing going there, huh?
嘭 Bam!
我去跟肖恩談談 看他怎么想 Let me talk to Sean, see what he thinks.
好的 總之無論如何 Great. And, hey, at the end of the day,
就照著你們的意思來 畢竟是你們的劇 it's whatever you guys want. It's your show.
謝謝 Thank you.
你開玩笑吧 謝謝你 Are you kidding? Thank you.
說到孩子 我剛看了一部紀錄片 Hey, speaking of kids, I just saw this documentary...
我剛跟人進行了特別有意思的談話 I just had an interesting conversation.
不過我答應了不說出去 Which I agreed not to share.
你們在聊什么呢 So, what are you talking about here?
馬特正打算告訴我 Oh, Matt was about to tell me
關于那紀錄片的事 about this documentary.
是關于一些得了抽動穢語綜合癥的孩子 Oh, yeah. It's about these kids with tourette's syndrome.
以多發性抽動, 爆發性發聲和伴隨穢語性語言為特征
你們真得看看 太搞笑了 You gotta see it. It's so funny.
-搞笑 -我的天哪 - Funny? - Oh, my god.
抽動穢語綜合癥的孩子 Children with tourette's?
我知道 我笑得很愧疚 I know. I felt guilty laughing,
不過說真的 But I'm telling you.
他們采訪了一個小女孩 特別可愛 They were interviewing this one little girl... so cute...
然后突然間 她就開始 操 And all of a sudden, she's, like, "shit! shit!
操 操 "shit! shit!"
你覺得那很有趣 And you found that funny?
我說了我感到很愧疚的 Hey, I said I felt guilty.
拜托 小孩說臟話哎 But come on... little kids cursing?
-不好笑 -我得相信你是在開玩笑 -No? -I need to believe you're joking.
沒有 Uh, no.
我們還是換個話題吧 What do you say we find another topic?
-你是沒看見 -我沒必要看 - You haven't seen it. - I don't need to see it.
抽動穢語綜合癥是很可怕的病癥 Tourette's is a horrible affliction.
可不止是說臟話 那些人遭受著 It's not just swearing. These people suffer
沖動性的臉部和聲帶抽搐 from compulsive facial and vocal tics.
無藥可治 And there's no cure.
那看來你比她有趣多了 So, I guess you're the fun one.
我問你一個問題 Let me ask you a question.
卡羅和默克有一腿 Carol's having an affair with Merc.
誰是卡羅 Who's Carol?
如果你的兒子得了呢 What if one of your sons had it?
如果你自己的孩子被迫 What if your own child was compelled
說出那些可怕的詞句 to say these terrible things?
你還會覺得有趣嗎 Would it be funny then?
那得看他說什么了 It depends on what he was saying.
-你剛剛笑了 -沒 - Did you just laugh? - No.
你有 你笑了 You did, you laughed.
真沒有 我發誓 I didn't, I swear.
-抱歉 -什么 - Excuse me? - What?
-什么 -那玩意 - What? - That thing.
什么玩意 What thing?
揮鞭子 That whippy thing.
你是暗示我在對我丈夫揮鞭 Are you implying that my husband is whipped?
我不知道 你有嗎 I don't know. Is he?
好吧 這可不是我想換的那個話題 Right. This is not the other topic I was looking for.
你說 揮鞭 When you say "whipped",
到底揮的是哪種鞭子 what type of "whipped" are we talking about exactly?
-你太幼稚了 -不過是想弄明白 - You're an infant. - Just trying to clarify.
你想讓我說溫順嗎 Are you trying to get me to say the word "pussy"?
我可以說溫順 溫順 溫順 溫順 I can say "pussy". Pussy. Pussy. Pussy! pussy!
我想參與談話 I want to be in this conversation.
謝謝你過來 很高興再次見到你 Thank you for coming. It was lovely to see you again.
拜拜 謝謝你 Bye, thank you.
謝謝你能過來 Thank you so much for coming.
-你處理得可很好 -你能相信嗎 - You handled that well. - Could you believe him?
揮鞭 你可沒挨我的鞭子 你有嗎 Whipped! you're not whipped. Are you whipped?!
你問那個問題的時候 That may not be the tone you want
最好別用那種語氣 when you're asking me that question.
你沒有挨我的鞭子吧 You're not whipped, are you?
沒有 親愛的 我就是被你嚇唬了一下 No, darling. I'm merely browbeaten
有點妻管嚴而已 and henpecked.
天啊 我真想早點離開這 Oh, god, I just want to get out of here.
猙獰 猙獰的夜晚 Hideous, hideous night.
有人在嗎 Oh, is someone there?
是肖恩和貝佛利 It's sean and beverly.
恐怕我們得走了 I'm afraid we have to go.
我們過得挺愉快 We had a wonderful time.
別擔心 會越來越好的 Don't worry. It gets easier.
我們 我們得走了 對吧 Arr! we... we be goin' now, are we?
我們現在變成了海盜 很好 And now we're pirates. Very good.
馬特跟我說了關于他角色的改動 Matt's been telling me about the changes for his character.
-什么 -聽完再說 - What? - Wait till you hear.
改動 Uh, changes?
說他不再扮演校長了 Yeah, how he's not gonna be a headmaster anymore.
怎么的 How's that?
我很喜歡他扮演教練 I love that he's a coach.
-教練 -曲棍球教練 - A coach? - A lacrosse coach.
-大愛 -這樣更能說得通 - Love it! - That's much more relatable.
可都是貝佛利的點子 Hey, hey, it was Beverly's idea.
真的嗎 我沒說過教練啊 Really? I never said "coach".
她是說沒法想象我扮演校長 Well, she said she couldn't see me as a headmaster.
是嗎 Did she?
-你也說過的 -那是對你 - You said it, too. - To you.
校長是個什么意思啊 What is a headmaster, anyway?
大家知道嗎 很可能不知道 Do people even know? Probably not.
我們并沒有承諾什么 We didn't commit to anything.
承諾吧 太完美了 Well, commit to it. It's perfect.
我同意 她太聰明了 I agree. She's so smart.
我就是對曲棍球不太確定 I'm just not sure about lacrosse.
-是不是有點太曲棍了 -我懂你的意思 - Is it too lacrossey? - I know what you mean.
冰球怎么樣 How about hockey?
冰球不錯 Hockey works.
我們可以命名為《冰球小子》 我會看的 We could call it Pucks! I'd watch.
先別急著量身做制服 Before we start measuring for uniforms,
稍等一下 can we all take a breath?
這比起你們之前的劇可好太多了 This is so much better than your old show.
你怎么知道 你就沒看過我們的劇 How would you know? You've never even seen our show.
我看過你們的劇 I've seen your show.
我當然看過你們的劇了 Of course I've seen your show.
誰說我沒看過你們的劇來著 Who told you I haven't seen your show?
我 我不 I... I don't...
你告訴他們我沒看過他們的劇 Did you tell them I haven't seen their show?
我 Uh, I...
不 卡羅沒那么說 Uh, no. Carol didn't say it.
我 I...
我不過是開個玩笑 I was just trying to make a joke.
玩笑罷了 It was a joke.
你 沒看過我們的劇 You...haven't seen our show!
真是 That's...
我不懂 I don't get it.
他比較有趣 He's the funny one.
今晚真棒 What a great night.
也許下一次我們可以找人來挨槍子 Maybe next time you can shoot someone.
首先 First of all,
我沒有告訴他他可以演教練 I did not tell him he could play a coach.
-你有沒有告訴他他不能演呢 -沒 - Did you tell him that he couldn't play a coach? - No.
你有沒有提到那樣會把整部劇給改變了 Did you mention it would change the show completely?
那樣我們就得把所有劇本全部刪掉重來 That we'd have to throw out all our scripts?
他說會讓我們來決定 He said he would let it be our decision.
他很可能會這么做 And he very well might have
如果不是你在那部破紀錄片的問題上 if you hadn't completely antagonized him
跟他起沖突的話 over that bloody documentary.
那我該怎么辦 附和他嗎 What was I supposed to do... just go along with him?
一部關于受病痛折磨的孩子的片子 真好笑 "oh, a film about afflicted children... hilarious!"
是的 只管附和 Yes! You go along.
我們只用干這些事了 That's what the rest of us do.
我們只管附和 We go along.
因為我們知道 如果你不附和 Because we know that if you don't go along,
你最后就會要寫一部叫做《冰球小子》的劇本 You end up writing a show called Pucks!
我說 就這么一次 I mean, just once,
你就不能別把事情搞得那么復雜嗎 could you not make everything harder?
-晚上好 -你們是來找 - Evening. - And you're here to see?
哦不 不不不 今晚別這樣 華萊士 Oh, no. No, no, no. Not tonight, Wallace.
別跟我們扯那一套 Don't pull that shit with us.
把那操他娘的臭雜種 Now, open the motherfucking, bloody bastard,
滾他奶奶的祖宗 pain in the arse, dick-cheese-stinking,
又臟又惡心又操蛋 dirty, shitty, wanking, fucking,
你奶奶個熊的 bloody, fucking, bastard,
操他媽的奶奶的大門給我打開 fucking stupid cunt of a fucking gate!
抽動穢語綜合癥 Tourette's.