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本字幕由人人影視字幕組翻譯 禁止用作任何商業盈利行為
翻譯：
流蘇
翻譯&校對：
NANA
后期&監制
斯人
時間軸：
濃子
第三季 第三集
戲里戲外
前情提要 Previously
事情已經這樣了 What's done is done.
你跟莫寧睡了 我跟羅伯睡了 You slept with Morning. I slept with Rob.
如果只有他一個也就算了 It would be one thing if he was the only one.
上帝啊 還有誰 Christ. Who else?
對 對 Yes. Yes.
我不怕失敗 失敗是件好事 I don't care if we fail. Failing's fine.
放手一搏即使失敗了 也算轟轟烈烈 If we go down in flames, at least there were flames!
只要在他身邊就很開心了 I'm happy just to be around him.
他太棒了 He is amazing.
沒人看出來我是一團糟 No one seems to notice I'm so full of shit.
我甚至能聽見家具在竊竊私語 And I can hear the furniture whispering.
也許應該再換一下藥方 Maybe we should try adjusting your medication again.
也許吧 Maybe.
誰啊 Yeah?
現在說話方便嗎 Hey. Is now a good time?
不方便 No.
-真的嗎 -沒錯 - Really? - Yep.
你怎么還不走 You're still there.
是啊 我知道 Uh, yeah, I know.
我只是 想請你給點建議 I just... I kind of need a little advice.
什么建議 Advice?
跟職業生涯有關 Career stuff.
這種事我真的不擅長 I'm really bad at that shit,
也不知道應該去跟誰說 and I don't know who else to go to.
我發誓只耽誤你一分鐘 I swear it will just take like a minute.
給你一分鐘 A minute.
謝謝 Thanks.
我覺得我這么說有點不知好歹 I feel like an asshole even talking about this.
但是你知道 我事業剛起步 But, you know, I'm just starting out,
我怕一步錯步步錯 and I don't want to make a mistake and fuck it all up.
好吧 首先 你得放松 Okay. Look. First of all, you got to relax.
你這是自己嚇唬自己 You're freaking yourself out here.
你這么認為嗎 You think?
多看看光明面 This is the good part.
你有份工作 在演連續劇 知足吧 You got a job. You're on a show.Enjoy it.
這個我知道 No. I know.
問題是 好多事情找上門來 It's just... it's all this stuff coming at me.
什么事情 What kind of stuff?
你懂的 比如電影邀約了 You know, like movie stuff.
什么電影 Movie stuff?
是啊 我開始接到很多邀請 Yeah. I'm starting to get all these offers,
比如有一個邁克爾·貝的 like this big Michael Bay thing.
著名導演
邁克爾·貝 Michael Bay?
電影名字叫做"海嘯" It's called "Tsunami."
讓你淹死嗎 Do you drown?
沒 No.
那你想問我什么 So what's your question for me?
我想問你應該怎么挑劇本 Okay. Like, how do you know which ones to pick?
回想你當年走紅的時候 I mean, back when you were hot,
拍了很多電影 對不對 you did a bunch of movies, right?
你總不會看完劇本說 And it's not like you read them and thought,
"這是什么爛玩意" 然后就接吧 "Well, this is a piece of crap."
接的時候總覺得會火的 對吧 You thought they were gonna be good, you know?
想想真是可怕 It's scary,
因為如果你接了一堆爛片 'cause, like, you make a bunch of shitty ones,
突然間大家就都不找你了 and suddenly they don't want you anymore.
你知道我說的是什么意思 You know what I mean.
我可不想50歲的時候還演喜劇 I do not want to be 50 and still doing sitcoms.
你說"50歲"的時候是指著我呢嗎 Did you just point to me on "50"?
你以為我50了 我他娘的50了嗎 You think I'm 50? You think I'm fucking 50?!
不是 我不知道你多大了 No. I don't know how old you are.
那好吧 我才沒有50呢 Well, I'm not fucking 50!
老兄 你看起來好極了 Dude, you look great.
希望我也能像你保持的這么好 等我 I hope I look this good when I'm...
等你什么 When you're what?
說個數字 Say a number!
三 Th...
你的時間到了 Your minute's up!
快滾蛋 Minute's up!
謝謝指導 Thank you.
聊得很愉快 門關上還是開著 This was great. Open or closed?
滾蛋 Minute's up!
卡羅·蘭斯在2號線 Carol Rance on 2!
是真的卡羅 Is it actually Carol
還是待會再叫她 or someone who's then gonna summon Carol?
什么 What?
我是說 如果她要 I'm just saying, if she's got...
如果是她本人來電話 If she's calling us,
我們就不用等她接電話了 we shouldn't have to wait for her to pick up.
所有我問你 So I'm asking...
是不是卡羅本人 Is this actually Carol...
來電話 on the phone?
是 Yes.
謝謝 Thank you.
你好 卡羅 Hi, Carol.
等我叫卡羅 Hold for Carol.
哦我明白了 Oh, I see.
你們在嗎 Hey there.
我剛剛接了斯透克代理人的一個電話 So, I just got a call from Stoke's agent.
她很不高興 She's not happy.
真的嗎 Oh, no!
為什么呀 Why?
是這樣的 有部邁克爾·貝的電影 Apparently, Stoke's been offered
想請斯透克去拍攝四天 four days on some Michael Bay movie,
但你們不放他 but you guys won't let him out.
我跟她說過了 這會完全打亂我們的計劃 As I told her, it would totally mess up our schedule.
而且就算我們想配合他 And while we always want to accommodate our little enemy of comedy,
我們不想僅僅因為斯透克一個人 we're not prepared to rearrange everything
就打亂全盤計劃 just for Stoke.
你說得很有道理 That totally makes sense.
謝謝理解 Thank you.
但你還是得讓他去 But I need you to do it anyway.
我也不想的 I'm sorry!
但是斯透克參演熱門電影對劇大有好處 Stoke doing a hot movie can only be good for the show,
對劇有好處的所有事我們都得做 and we need anything that's good for the show.
-好吧 -謝謝了 - Fine. - Thank you.
另外 今天是卡斯特的第一天 Also, today is Castor's first day,
所以《冰球小子》這邊可別出什么差錯 so better not to start with any "Pucks" drama.
現在情況怎么樣 How is it so far?
我的上帝 Oh, my God.
我能透過他的T恤看到腹肌 I can see his abs through his T-shirt.
不是說好不再對他想入非非了嗎 Didn't we agree you weren't gonna go there?
你是沒跟默克一起睡了五年 You weren't sleeping with Merc for the last five years.
總是速戰速決 總是濕漉漉的 還老放屁 We're talking too fast, too damp... often farty.
真是要命 Oh, God.
我懷念激烈的性愛啊 I miss good sex.
我值得擁有 對嗎 I deserve good sex, don't I?
沒人比你更有資格了 No one more than you.
對不起 Oh. Sorry.
你也一樣值得擁有 You deserve it, too.
你們兩口子夫妻生活怎么樣啊 Anything happening with you guys?
實際上 我們兩口子 都在呢 Uh, actually, we guys are... both here...
開的免提 ...on speaker.
嗨 肖恩 Hi, Sean!
你好 卡羅 Hello, Carol.
-怎么了 -沒什么 - What? - Nothing.
真抱歉 但她是我朋友 I'm sorry. She's my friend.
-朋友是會溝通的嘛 -我只是不能理解 - Friends talk. - I just don't understand.
等下再見 See you guys later.
-好的 -再見 - Yep. Yep. - Okay.
他們絕對討厭我 They fucking hate me.
我只是不理解干嘛要透露 I just don't understand this need to divulge
我們最隱私的事情 the most intimate secrets of our relationship.
真的 I mean, seriously.
選誰也不能選卡羅聊 That you would talk to Carol, of all people,
我們有沒有 about whether or not we're...
我們之間都不談這個 when we don't even talk about it.
也許這就是我跟卡羅談的原因 Maybe I talk to Carol because we don't talk about it.
-能進來嗎 -進來吧 - Knock, knock! - Yeah.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
真是太漂亮了 This is amazing.
-我討厭它 -好吧 - I hate it. - All righty.
你覺得看上去像威瑪獵犬嗎 Does that look like Weimaraner to you?
什么東西像威瑪獵犬 Does what look like Weimaraner?
墻壁 那是什么顏色 The walls. What color is that?
"不像威瑪獵犬"的顏色 Not Weimaraner?
是的 混蛋些 Exactly. Assholes.
問我想要什么顏色 又不照著我說的來 Don't ask me what color I want and then give me this.
我懂的 這種最煩了 Oh, I know. It's the worst.
我一年前重新裝修了浴室 I had my bathroom redone about a year ago,
當時訂的是玻璃小瓷磚 and I ordered these little glass tiles.
結果送來的時候 And when they came...
-有什么事 -好吧 - So, what's up? - Okay.
我就是想來道個晚安 Uh, I just wanted to say good night
-看看你第一天過的還好不 -勉強吧 - and make sure you survived your first day. - Barely.
我在看上周的數據 我的天 I'm just looking at last week's numbers. Jesus.
不是說數據不重要嗎 What happened to "It's not about the numbers"?
那是因為我還沒看到這些數據 That was before I saw the numbers.
我完蛋了 I'm so fucked.
好吧 Okay.
明早六點 全體人馬集合 Tomorrow, 6:00 A.M., saddle up the troops.
讓所有人都來 不能有任何借口 I want everyone here. No excuses.
棒極了 Yikes.
-早上六點 -對 - 6 A.M.? - Yeah.
這些傻逼平常都幾點上班 What time do these pussies normally start?
這些傻逼平常比這稍微晚點 Uh... the pussies normally start a little bit later.
不過如果你想要六點來 我們就六點來 But if you want 6:00, we will do 6:00.
很好 Good.
我要把目前的節目表打個稀巴爛 I want to rip this whole goddamn schedule apart.
我要創意 要不同的意見 I want ideas. I want opinions.
告訴大家我希望他們帶上自己的真實想法來 Tell people I expect them to bring their truth.
我覺得大家不一定有什么真實想法 Mm. I'm not sure everyone has truth.
那就讓他們帶上百吉餅來 Then they can bring bagels.
你看見演員調度表了嗎 Hey, have you seen the call sheet?
我為什么得拍晚場 不都是棚內拍攝嗎 Why am I doing night shoots if it's all interiors?
對了 Right.
斯透克得花四天時間拍電影 Um... Stoke is doing four days on a movie,
所以我們得照著他的日程來 so we kind of have to work around his schedule.
你開什么玩笑 You're kidding me.
我得順著那個傻缺的時間 I have to work around that douche nozzle?
-可怕是的 -這簡直是 - Afraid so. - That's...
-惡心 犯罪 -對 簡直是犯罪 - Nauseating? Crime against humanity. - Yeah, it's criminal.
而且他居然能去拍電影 And he's getting movies?
電影 他根本不會演戲 Movies?! He can't act!
-他根本 -讓人無語 - He's... - Block of words.
才華為零 Talent vacuum.
演技為負 Negative acting space.
我討厭這個行當 I hate this goddamn business.
-不怪你 -誰不討厭呢 - I don't blame you. - Who doesn't? Yeah.
-明天見 -行 拜 - See you tomorrow. - Yeah, yeah. Bye.
傻缺 "Douche nozzle."
就是洗液噴嘴 塞進那個 Yeah, it's the part of the douche that goes into the...
-懂了 -就那個 噴嘴 - Got it. - You know, the nozzle.
-謝謝啊 -謝謝 - Thank you. - Thank you.
斯透克是哪一個來著 Which one's Stoke again?
他演的霍霍 He plays Howie.
是長得特別帥的那個嗎 Is he the really good-looking one?
你怎么知道他長得特別帥 How do you know he's really good-looking?
還用說嗎 Are you kidding?
他演戲一坨屎 不帥哪行 He's a shitty enough actor. He'd have to be.
我去 Oh, Jesus.
怎么 What?
是肖恩和貝佛利以前的助手 It's Sean and Beverly's old assistant.
我操 Fuck me.
馬特 Matt!
這位是安德魯 安德魯 萊斯利 It's Andrew... Andrew Lesley.
你怎么樣啊 How are you?
-別了 -別了 - No. - No?
-別了 -好吧 - No. - Okay.
行 換個話題 So, new topic.
-你為什么不來出演我的預播集 -什么 - Why aren't you doing my pilot? - What?
我正在做一個預播的劇集 實際上是兩部 I'm doing this pilot... well, actually, two pilots
還在給福克斯公司寫一個電影劇本 and a screenplay for Fox.
我現在手上的事太多了 得再長一只手才行 I have so much on my plate, I need another plate.
那個 有一部跟NBC合作的 Anyway, there's this one at NBC.
是一部正劇 It's a drama.
我之前其實根本沒有想到讓你來 I'm afraid I didn't even think of you for it.
沒關系 我從來就沒想到過你 That's okay. I never think of you.
可是我剛剛看見你坐在這邊 就覺得 But then I saw you sitting here, and it was like,
讓你來演該多合適 "How perfect would he be?"
可惜我已經有一部戲了 Except I've already got a show.
-是什么戲來著 -《冰球小子》 - Oh, what are you doing? - Uh, "Pucks"?
這戲還在播呢 Is that still on?
是啊 Yeah.
肖恩和貝貝真可憐 Poor Sean and Bev.
在老家 他們簡直是當月紅人 I mean, back home, they're the flavor of the month.
結果來了這邊 沒人吃他們這套了 Then they come here, and no one wants to eat them.
-說到吃 -對對 - You know, speaking of eating... - Oh, absolutely.
我就不打擾你了 看著很誘人 I'll let you get back to it. Looks scrummy.
不過你確定沒辦法來演我的戲嗎 But you're sure there's no way you can do my show?
你真的會非常合適 You'd be so right for it.
我確定 I'm sure.
你這是要傷透我的心 You're breaking my heart.
我心都碎了 I'm heartbroken.
你就看一下怎么樣 Maybe just give it a read.
不不 不用了 No. That's okay.
拜托了 就看個樂子 Oh, come on. Just for shits and giggles.
我保證你會喜歡的 I promise you'll love it.
行了 好好吃 Anyway, bon appetit.
好吧 我們談談 Okay. Let's talk.
真的 Really?
你說得對 You were right.
如果我們產生了 通奸相關的問題 If we're having a problem... fornicationally,
那我們應該討論一下 then we should discuss it.
我很愿意 I'd like that.
那就好 Good.
你先 You first.
好吧 All right.
很明顯 Well, obviously,
我們倆自從和好以后一直沒有搞過 the fact that we haven't had sex since we got back together
這事讓我倆都很苦惱 is troubling for both of us.
同意 Agreed.
在過去的幾個月當中 Over the last few months,
我們都做出了一些 通奸方面的選擇 we have both made choices... fornicationally
都很難從中恢復過來 that are difficult to recover from.
后悔用了那個詞 Already regretting that word.
我們都有 We both have, uh...
一些陰影 需要與之抗衡 ghosts to contend with.
我感覺你快要把杯腿折斷了 I feel like you're about to snap that wine stem.
有可能 Could happen.
所以我看有兩種選擇 So I see two choices.
說吧 Go.
一 我們再也不上床了 One, we never have sex again.
第二種應該比這好吧 Please let two be better.
說真的 放下杯子 Seriously, put down the glass.
二 我們接受這個事實 咬牙前進 Two, we suck it up and power through.
沒錯 Oh, yeah.
我們必須得跨過這個坎 We've got to get over this.
是的 對你來說當然容易跨過去了 Yes. Well, it's a lot easier for you to get over it.
我得站起來才能跨過去 你懂我的意思吧 I've got to get up and over it, if you know what I mean.
我確實懂你的意思 I do know what you mean.
不是針對你 不過客觀說 No offense, but physiologically,
我才是需要使出渾身解數 I'm the one who has to deliver the goods.
你無非就是躺在那 All you have to do is lie there.
就躺在那 Just lie there?
-不不 我不是那個 -你真覺得 - No. No. No. That's not what I... - You really think...
-如果真是這樣的話 -我只是說 - if that's the case, - I'm just talking...
-我只是從解剖學方面說 -我就不明白 - I'm just talking about anatomy. - I-I don't know why you
你為什么還非得把我叫起來 even bother waking me up.
所以說 我為什么不愿意討論這事 By the way... this is why I don't like to talk.
我想說的無非就是 All I'm saying is...
接著說 Keep going.
我想說的其實是 All I'm saying is
你腦子里想著別人的話 when you've got other people in your head,
會分心 it's a distraction.
如果我想著別人 那差不多就沒得玩了 When I've got them, it's pretty much game over.
我懂的 不過這些人始終會在那里 I get it, but those people are always gonna be in there.
操過的人不能退操 用你朋友馬特的話來說 We can't unfuck them, as your friend Matt would say.
-他什么時候說的 -你還是別知道的好 - When did he say that? - You don't want to know.
我們就盡全力 So we just have to do everything in our power
讓對方忘掉這些人 to make each other forget them.
舉個例子 For example...
就躺在那 "Just lie there."
-我就不該說什么 -好主意 - I should never say anything. - Good idea.
你在讀什么呢 What are you reading?
-那個混蛋的劇本 -為什么 - That asshole's script. - Why?
這樣我才能告訴肖恩和貝佛利它有多爛 So I can tell Sean and Beverly how shitty it is.
然后呢 And?
太他媽棒了 It's fucking brilliant.
大概有時候混蛋也不做破事 Guess sometimes assholes don't make shit.
怎么 What?
我喜歡你 I like you.
我討厭我的老二 I hate my dick.
別這么說 Don't say that.
如果這是部電影 If this were a movie,
我的老二就是里面的壞蛋 my dick would be the villain.
他就是那個拋棄了主人公的好朋友 He's the best friend that just abandons the hero.
如果這是部電影 If this were a movie,
你的老二在結局的時候肯定會來解救你 your dick would totally come through for you in the end.
什么時候 電影都快結束了 When? The movie's almost over.
還沒呢 你等著看 No, it's not. You'll see.
他會來幫你的 Oh, he'll be there for you.
他只是在制造 戲劇的緊張氣氛 He's just creating... dramatic tension.
難道我還不夠緊張 Because I'm not tense enough?
就等著吧 Just wait.
當所有人都放棄了你的老二 When everyone has written your dick off,
突然之間 他會從天而降 suddenly there he'll be...
腳踏七彩祥云 coming over the hill.
我的老二還會腳踏七彩祥云 My dick is coming over a hill?
帶著大部隊 Mm-hmm. With reinforcements.
-還不止他一個 -不止 - So it's not just him. - No.
-會有很多老二 -對 -There are many dicks... - Right.
腳踏七彩祥云而來 ...coming over this hill.
-那我咋知道哪個是我的 -你會知道的 -How will I know which one's mine? - Oh, you'll know.
你的 會騎在最前頭 Yours... is the one riding in front.
所以這些老二還都騎著白龍馬 So these are equestrian dicks?
肯定是了 Apparently so.
他們會前來拯救你 高坐馬鞍 And they ride to your rescue, tall in the saddle,
然后會大肆慶祝 and there is much celebrating, with...
有很多勃起 高潮 Erections and orgasms
還有很多很多的 and a big festival of...
-什么 -液體 - What? - ...Splooge.
我可不要看這部電影 I am so not seeing this movie.
你確定他說的是早上六點 Are you sure he said 6:00 A.M.?
他是這么說的 That's what he said.
我超速都被抓了 就因為怕遲到 I got caught speeding 'cause I was afraid I was gonna be late.
我還取消了牙醫的預約 I canceled a dentist appointment.
我想去做美白貼片來著 I want to get veneers.
我看看 笑一個 Let's see. Smile.
我們還得在這兒坐多久 How long do we have to sit here?
我不知道該說什么 I don't know what to tell you.
你說什么 What did you say?
你一定得幫我談下這部戲 You got to get me this.
我是經紀人 又不是魔術師 I'm an agent. I'm not a magician.
拜托了 這太他媽好了 你讀過沒 Come on. It's fucking amazing. Have you read it?
每個人都讀過了 Yeah. Everybody's read it.
所以每個人都想演 That's why everybody wants to do it.
那咋了 他說他想讓我來的 Yeah. Well, he said he wants me.
他說什么不頂用 你現在在演一部戲呢 It doesn't matter what he wants. You're on a show.
-我辭掉就是了 -你不能辭 - I'll quit. - You can't quit.
我可以辭 I could quit.
你可簽了合同 You have a contract.
操他的合同 Fuck the contract.
你不能操合同 You can't fuck the contract.
合同是不可操的 好比迪士尼人物 It's unfuckable, like a Disney character.
那我應該怎么辦 So what am I supposed to do?
笑一個 去把支票兌現 就行了 You smile and cash your check. That's what you do.
他們付了你一大坨錢 They're paying you a shitload of money.
那我把錢還回去就是了 So I'll give them back the money.
永遠不能把錢還回去 You never give back the money!
好吧 Okay.
聽我說 Listen.
《冰球小子》不會一直拍下去的 "Pucks," Uh, isn't gonna last forever.
到時候我們再給你找好作品 Then we'll find you something great.
我保證 都會好好的 行不 I promise. It's all good. All right?
行吧 All right.
行吧 我愛你 哥們 All right. I love you, bud.
這些媽逼的演員 Fucking actors.
我還在呢 Still here.
我知道的 I knew that.
我操 Fuck me.
還在呢 Still here.
我去 Jesus.
你們有時間嗎 Uh, you guys got a sec?
什么事 What's up? Uh...
想請你們幫個忙 I got a favor.
-行 沒問題 -不行 - Sure. Anything. - No.
首先得問 是什么事 First, what is it?
對 什么事 Right. What is it?
把我殺了 Kill me.
沒聽明白 啥 I'm sorry. What?
你們得把萊曼這個角色弄死 求你們了 You got to kill Lyman. Please.
-什么 -沒聽清 你什么意思 - W-What... - Sorry. What do you mean?
我得離開這部戲 我很抱歉 I got to get off the show. I'm sorry.
我不能辭演 不過如果你們殺掉我 I can't quit. But if you kill me...
我們不能把你殺了 We can't kill you.
當然可以 我就是你們造出來的 Sure, you can. You created me.
你怎么不想想 我們要是能殺了你 Don't you think if we could kill you,
不早就殺了嗎 we'd have done it by now?
NBC有一部試播的劇集 There's this pilot at NBC.
特別有才 It's fucking genius.
一個小時的戲 It's a one-hour like
跟我以前演的東西完全不一樣 nothing I've ever done before,
而且我知道我演那個角色絕對出彩 and I know I could play the shit out of this guy.
不過如果我拍這部戲 就不能拍那一部 But I can't do it if I'm doing this,
而且你們現在基本都不拍我了 and you're barely even using me now.
求你們了 想想吧 Please? Just think about it.
不知道呢 I don't know.
把萊曼殺了 Kill Lyman?
感覺電視臺不會同意 Can't imagine the network going for it.
那好歹也問問唄 At least find out?
是不是還太早了點 Isn't this a little premature?
NBC讓你去演了嗎 Has NBC even offered it to you?
沒呢 不過編劇特別想讓我去 No, but the writer really wants me.
編劇是誰啊 Oh. Who's the writer?
我也不清楚 Uh... I'm not sure.
這個特別有才的編劇找你 This genius writer wants you
演一個難得一遇的角色 for the role of a lifetime,
但你不清楚是誰 but you're not sure.
安德魯 萊斯利 Andrew Lesley.
誰來著 Sorry. What?
安德魯 萊斯利 Andrew Lesley?
我們那個安德魯 萊斯利 Our Andrew Lesley?
可能是吧 M-Maybe.
你想離開我們 You want to leave us...
去跟那個該死的安德魯 萊斯利拍戲 To do a show with Andrew fucking Lesley?
我懂 我懂 Look, I-I know. I know.
不過他的劇本很棒 But his script is amazing.
我耳朵都流血了 My ears are bleeding.
怎么會發生這種事 How did this even happen?
你在哪遇見他的 Were you at some party
是不是在希特勒和曼森家族的聚會上 with him and Hitler and the Manson family?
不是的 是在一家餐館里過來找我 No. No. He came up to me at a restaurant.
我這暴脾氣 居然偷摸的想把你挖過去 The bloody nerve. Trying to poach you from us.
而且你居然在考慮 And that you would even consider...
去跟那個賤人合作 That little shit weasel,
蠢不拉幾的 with his stupid...
戴個破圍巾 那副低三下四的樣子 scarves and his obsequious mewling.
從一開始他在我們手底下工作的時候 Even when he first started working for us...
貝貝 親 "Bev, darling!
要不要來杯卡布奇諾 Can I get you a little cappuccino?
想要多少泡沫 How do you like your foam?"
操蛋 Fucker!
難道你以為我樂意像這樣跑來找你們嗎 Hey, do you think I like coming to you guys like this?
就讀一下吧 But just read it.
-你會懂的 -我的天 - You'll see. - Oh, my God.
你是正兒八經的讓我們讀 Are you actually asking us
那個傻逼的劇本 to read that douche nozzle's script?
你想讓我們來印證他有多優秀 You expect us to validate his wonderfulness?!
-我只是 -我們就認識這么點長時間 - I just... - Of all the appalling,
你就干了那么多讓人厭惡 offensive, truly galling things you have done
又惹人生氣的事情 in the short time that we have known you...
你真是毫無自知之明 使勁打 So you have no self-awareness! Hit him harder!
行吧 All right!
不 我的朋友 No, my friend.
我們不會為了安德魯 萊斯利把你殺掉的 We will not kill you off for Andrew Lesley.
你把這戲搞成冰球主題的 It's bad enough you wrecked our little show
已經給我毀的夠厲害了 by grafting a hockey stick onto it.
你沒有資格跑掉 You do not get to walk away.
你必須跟我們一起留在這個屎坑里 You will stay here in the shit with the rest of us.
早啊 Morning!
我們昨天挺想念你的 So, uh, we missed you yesterday.
早晨六點 6 A.M.?
集合大部隊 Saddle up the troops?
-操 -是的 - Shit. - Yep.
所有人都到了 都帶上了自己的真實想法 Everybody was here. They all brought their truth.
天哪 對 Jesus. Right.
我 那個 Uh, I, uh...
我確實應該打電話的 不過 不過我 Yeah, I should have called, but... but I, uh...
怎么了 What?
我 I...
我不得不把我的狗結束了 I had to put my dog down.
天哪 Oh, my God.
挺糟心的 Yeah. It was pretty horrible.
真抱歉 I'm so sorry.
我都不知道你還養狗了 I didn't know you had a dog.
是一只 威瑪獵犬 Yeah. He was a... weimaraner.
我從十二歲就開始養了 I've had him since I was like 12.
他多少歲了 How old was he?
二十七 27.
二十七 27?
我從沒聽說過狗活那么長的 I've never heard of a dog living that long.
現在聽說了吧 Well, now you have.
他怎么了 What was wrong with him?
-他老 -當然 - He was fucking old. - Sure.
你還養了別的寵物嗎 Do you have any other pets?
沒 只有那只狗 No. Just the, uh, dog.
現在他走了 只剩下我 一個人 Now he's gone, and it's just me, alone.
今晚回家不會有人迎接我 Gonna come home tonight to nobody.
沒有人 Nobody.
只剩下我 I'm all alone.
我太孤獨了 I'm so alone.
你并不孤獨的 Oh, you're not alone.
-我都說了我孤獨 -好吧 - I said I'm alone! - Okay.
我不知道數到哪了 又得從頭開始 Now I've lost count, and I've got to start all over again.
其實吧 You know...
有時候獨自一人也挺好的 Sometimes it's nice to have a little alone time...
泡在浴缸里 讀完史蒂芬·金的小說 soak in a tub, finish that Stephen King book.
-請你別說了 -當然 - Please stop talking. - Sure.
我沒事的 No. I'm fine.
我沒事 I'm fine.
我知道你沒事 I know you are.
抱歉 Sorry.
行 幫我個忙 Okay. Do me a favor.
把昨天在場的所有人的名字都給我 Get me everyone's name who was there yesterday.
我要親自跟他們道歉 I want to apologize to them personally.
沒有這個必要 That's so not necessary.
不 應該的 都是些好人 No, no. They deserve that. They're good people.
那行吧 Well, all right.
很好 Great.
我們重新排個時間 And we'll just reschedule.
你想什么時候 When do you want to do it?
-現在 -現在 - Now. - N-Now?
我想現在就做 I want to do it right now.
我不知道大家是不是都有空 I don't know if everyone's available.
那就我倆來做 不需要他們 Then we'll do it ourselves. We don't need them.
操他們的 操他們 Fuck them. Fuck them!
好的 會去操的 Okay. Consider them fucked.
敲門 Knock, knock.
你好哇 Hello.
馬特剛跟我說想離開劇組 So, Matt just told me about wanting to leave the show.
他不會走的 He's not going anywhere.
最好這樣 我不能想象沒了他怎么辦 I hope not. I can't imagine it without him.
很好 你不用想象 Good, 'cause you won't have to.
當然 不過假設真走到這一步 Sure. But say it does come to that.
-上帝保佑 -不會的 - God forbid. - Which it's not going to.
我知道的 不過假設呢 No. I know. But say it does.
我想告訴你們 我能滑冰 I just want you guys to know... I can skate.
什么 What?
我完全能執教這支隊伍 I could totally coach that team.
他的角色我閉著眼睛都能演 I could play his part in my sleep.
你是建議你來代替馬特 Are you suggesting you replace Matt?
完全行得通 It could totally work!
這里邊有能產生很多故事 You'd get a ton of stories from it.
圖書管理員變成了教練 我肯定會看的 The librarian becomes the coach? I'd watch that.
沒錯 R-Right.
那個 你讓我倆討論一下唄 Well, uh, why don't you let us discuss this?
當然 Absolutely.
我再說一句 我覺得 And... just saying... I think it makes
女教練完全能在女性主義方面大加分 a strong feminist statement having a female coach.
再說了 想象一下這倆在冰上 Plus, imagine these on ice.
好 我們來搞破壞 All right. Let's do some damage here.
-準備好了 -周一八點檔 - Ready! - Monday, 8:00.
《冰球小子》 拜拜了 "Pucks." Bye-bye!
八點半 30...
我們再討論一下八點 Um... can we back up to 8:00 for a sec?
你干嗎呢 What are you doing? What...
我喜歡《冰球小子》 I like "Pucks."
-不行 -我很抱歉 - No. - I'm sorry.
我知道這不是一部顛覆性的作品 I know it doesn't reinvent the wheel.
但是我信任這些編劇 But I believe in these writers,
而且這部戲一直就很倒霉 and the show has never gotten a fair shake.
我覺得我們應該再給它一次機會 I say we give it one more chance.
這就是我的真實想法 That's my truth.
一直很倒霉是什么意思 And it never got a fair shake why?
因為 它一直在跟那部說話狗的戲抗衡 Because it's... it's opposite that stupid talking dog.
任何一部戲跟那玩意打擂臺都會輸掉的 Anything against it is gonna get buried.
解釋一下為什么那部戲那么火 Explain to me why that's a hit.
真的 什么玩意 Seriously, what the fuck?
是講一只會說話的狗 So it's a dog that talks.
總說些搞笑的東西 It says funny things.
我真是不該在這個行當里 I so shouldn't be in this business.
我看了那部戲 我覺得平淡無奇 I look at that show. I think it's insipid.
完全不能給我逗笑 我都不喜歡狗 It doesn't make me laugh. I don't even like dogs.
當然 除了那個 Except, obviously, for...
佐羅弗特 ...Zoloft.
我們得談談 We have to talk.
不 是好事 No. It's good.
真是好事 Really good.
你跟他睡了 You slept with him.
誰 Who? Oh!
沒有 沒有 No, no.
沒有 No.
不過也還是好事 But it's still good.
卡斯特想砍掉《冰球小子》 Castor wanted to cancel "Pucks."
-我的天 -等一下 等一下 - Oh, my God. - Wait. Wait.
你先別驚慌 我想辦法讓他打消了這個主意 Before you freak out... I managed to talk him out of it.
而且我們要把這部戲挪到一個新的檔期 And we're moving the show to a new night
這樣你們就不會再跟那個說話狗對抗了 so you're not opposite the talking dog.
好吧 Ta-da!
真棒 Oh. Great.
不不不 這是好事 No, no, no. It's a good thing.
而且不是像有時候我只是說說而已 And not like sometimes when I say it's a good thing.
這真是一件好事 It's actually a good thing.
怎么 What?
只是 It's just...
肖恩和我最近日子過得很艱難 Sean and I are having a very tough time with it.
如果這部戲能砍掉 我們能回家的話 We would do so much better if the show went away
我們會好很多的 and we could go home,
回家就不會有這么多 陰影 where there aren't as many...Ghosts.
你就可以 隨時收拾包袱回家 So you could just, like, pack up and go home?
真的 都不帶回頭看的 Seriously. Without looking back.
怎么了 What?
就是 It's...
就是 沒事 It's... nothing.
-怎么了 -我只是 - What... - I just...
我大概是沒有意識到 I guess I just didn't realize
這邊沒什么能讓你 there was so little here for...
不過沒事 真的 But that's fine. Really.
我懂的 I get it.
我 是應該想到這里還有 I just... I would have thought that there were...
還有一些事 一些人 there were... things, people.
不過 But clearly...
你知道嗎 You know,
我其實對《冰球小子》并沒有那么喜歡 I don't even like "Pucks" That much.
我這樣做都是為了你 I just did this for you.
怎么了 What's going on?
卡斯特想要砍掉《冰球小子》 Castor wanted to cancel "Pucks."
-什么 -沒事的 放心 - What?! - It's okay. Relax.
我讓他打消了這個想法 I talked him out of it.
你 天哪 你讓他打消了這個想法 You... Jesus Christ. You talked him out of it?!
我的個去 操你大爺 卡羅 God damn it. Fuck you, Carol!
好在他還知道你名字 At least he knew your name.
發生什么了 What just happened?
卡斯特想砍掉《冰球小子》 卡羅說服他不砍 Castor wants to cancel "Pucks." Carol convinced him not to.
他們打算把我們這戲換個檔期 They're gonna try us on a different night
這樣就不用跟那狗對抗 so we're not opposite the dog.
我的天哪 可真是太棒了 Oh, my God! That's fantastic!
你太棒了 太謝謝你了 You're amazing! Thank you so much!
晚了 Too late!