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前情提要
如果我們產生了 通奸相關的問題 If we're having a problem fornicationally,
那我們應該討論一下 then we should discuss it.
我們必須得跨過這個坎 We've got to get over this.
是的 對你來說當然容易跨過去了 Yes, well, it's a lot easier for you to get over it.
我得"站"起來 I've got to get... up
才能跨過去 你懂我的意思吧 and over it, if you know what I mean.
我討厭我的老二 I hate my dick.
你為什么不來出演我的預播劇集 Why aren't you doing my pilot?
你真的會非常合適 You'd be so right for it.
你就看一下怎么樣 Maybe just give it a read.
不不 不用了 No, that's okay.
你在讀什么呢 What are you reading?
那個混蛋的劇本 That asshole's script.
太他媽棒了 It's fucking brilliant.
我這暴脾氣 Oh, the bloody nerve.
居然偷摸的想把你挖過去 Trying to poach you from us?
而且你居然在考慮 And that you would even consider...
那個賤人 Little shit weasel.
新藥怎么樣 還適應嗎 How are the new meds working out?
任何東西都能讓我硬起來 Everything makes me hard.
就今早 我在加油的時候 This morning when I was getting gas,
我把噴嘴放進油箱 就硬了 I got a boner putting the nozzle into the tank.
我從不在工作的時候哭的 I never cry at work.
我想抱你一下來著 Well, I'd hug you,
不過我現在全身都汗濕了 but obviously, I'm all sweaty and...
我不介意 I don't mind.
第三季 第五集
戲里戲外
翻校監：
NANA
翻譯：
衛老哥
時間軸
濃子
后期：
斯人
你確定他是硬了嗎 Are you sure that's what it was?
我跟你說 I am telling you,
他當時抱著我 he's hugging me,
我心里在想 and I'm thinking,
"他的胳膊真結實" "oh, his arms are so hard."
然后 突然之間就像 Then, all of a sudden, it's like,
"去他的胳膊 這是什么東西" "fuck his arms.What the hell is that?"
難以置信 Unbelievable.
是的吧 I know!
不 No.
我說"難以置信"的意思可不是夸他 My "unbelievable" is not a good "unbelievable."
得了吧 Oh, come on.
我現在知道他也一樣感同身受 Just knowing he's feeling what I'm feeling,
而且相信我 我真的"感受"到了他 and believe me, I felt what he's feeling.
難道你還沒學乖嗎 Has history taught you nothing?
這種事你已經經歷過一次了 You have been down this road before.
但那是和默克 But with Merc.
如果早知道我只能和一個人走這條路 If I knew I could only go down the road one time,
打死我也不會跟默克走 that's not who I would've gone down it with!
-是你問我看法的 -我問了嗎 - Look, you asked my opinion... - Did I?
好吧 是我主動說的 All right, I offered you my opinion.
我也聽見了你說的 And I hear what you're saying,
但是 我看到卡斯特 but then I look at Castor,
他又聰明又性感 又強大 and he's so brilliant and sexy and powerful!
他是你老板 He's your boss.
是吧 他要什么有什么啊 I know! He's the whole package!
所以副作用完全沒有減輕嗎 So, the side effects haven't lessened at all?
沒有 昨天 我被逼著抱了我手下 No. Yesterday, I had to give this stupid woman
那個蠢女人一下 who works for me a hug,
結果我老二差點都要刺穿她 and she was almost impaled on it!
好吧 那我們先來減小一點劑量 All right. We'll start cutting back on your dosage.
減小嗎 不行 Cutting back? No.
不能直接停藥嗎 Can't we just stop?
這種藥不可以 Not with this medication.
我們得讓你慢慢戒掉 We have to wean you off slowly.
我得告訴你 你說"戒掉"的時候 Just so you know, when you said "wean,"
我又有點硬了 I got a little hard.
你知道我們已經爬到半山腰了 You realize we're halfway up this mountain,
一路都是在討論你老板的勃起 all we've talked about is your boss' erection.
好吧 Okay, fine.
那你想討論別人的勃起嗎 Any erections you want to talk about?
不想 Nope.
-真的嗎 -對 - Really? - No.
-你和肖恩還是沒有... -沒有 - You and Sean still no... - No.
你考慮過去看看嗎 Have you thought about seeing someone,
比如夫妻顧問什么的 like a couple's counselor or something?
-我可以讓我的心理醫生推薦一個 -等等 - I could ask my shrink to recommend someone. - Wait a minute.
你有心理醫生 You have a shrink?
對啊 他真的很有用 Uh-huh. He's really good.
真的嗎 Really?
有人嗎 Hello?
這里 In here!
你這打招呼的方式可太棒了 That is the best "hello" ever.
別動 我過來親一下 Don't move. I'm coming in for a kiss.
就快好了 Almost done.
不用急 No rush.
你的畫都到哪去了 Uh, what happened to all the paintings?
什么畫 What do you mean?
本來掛在墻上的那些畫 The paintings that were hanging on the walls?
現在都沒了 They're not.
你說真的 Are you kidding?
你不知道 You didn't know?
我不知道 都有哪些畫 No. I didn't know. Which ones?
壁爐上的一幅 Uh, the one over the fireplace.
迪本科恩的畫沒了嗎 The Diebenkorn's gone?
加州著名抽象派畫家
那應該是一幅畫吧 沒了 Assuming that's a painting, yeah.
還有門邊上掛的那幅 And the one by the door,
還有那幅嚇人的小孩臉也沒了 and the creepy baby face is gone.
天吶 Oh, my God!
等等 Hang on.
對 這個房間里的也沒了 Yep, everything in here, too.
難以置信 I don't believe this.
還丟了什么別的嗎 Is anything else missing?
我不知道 I don't know. Uh...
看起來只有畫沒了 Looks like just the paintings.
除了我誰還有你的大門密碼 Who else besides me has your gate code?
瑪利亞 我的助手米茜 Maria, my assistant, Missy.
天吶 Ohh, Jesus.
是誰 What?
那個混蛋 Oh, that motherfucker.
他還有你的密碼 He still has your code?
他也不至于干這種事啊 Even he wouldn't do this.
默克 Merc?
他絕對會干這種事 He'd totally do this.
想想你沒跟他離婚的時候 Think of all the shit he
他干的事就夠惡心了 did to you when you weren't divorcing him.
-我要打給他 -不 別打 - I'm calling him. - No, don't call him.
我一定要打 Oh, I'm calling him.
求你了 讓我的律師去處理吧 Please, just let my lawyers handle it.
不 總有人得告訴他他有多混賬 No, someone's got to tell him what a giant asshole he is.
相信我 我說過了 Believe me, I've told him.
求你了 別管這事 Please, stay out of it.
為了我 For me.
你把手機放回去了嗎 Did you put your phone away?
放了 Yes.
真的嗎 Did you?
是的 Yes.
謝謝 Thank you.
今晚的電視臺發布會是什么東西 What's the deal with this network press thing tonight?
我忘了 是今晚嗎 Oh, I forgot. That's tonight?
對 是給電視評論家的什么鬼雞尾酒會 Yeah, it's this stupid cocktail party for the TV critics.
電視臺每年都辦 The networks do it every year.
真的嗎 Seriously?
那些對我們挑三揀四的人 The people who wrote all the nasty things about us,
我們還得跟他們把酒言歡 we have to have canapes with them?
是的 沒有聽起來那么有意思 Yeah, it's not as much fun as it sounds.
也沒辦法躲過去嗎 And there's no getting out of it?
除非你的劇夠火 Not unless you're on a hit show.
所以是沒辦法躲過去了 So there's no getting out of it.
你在這啊 There you are.
準備好了嗎 Ready?
去干什么 For what?
媽呀 是現在嗎 Oh, shit. That's now?
什么現在 What's now?
沒什么 是 私事 Nothing. It's a... private thing.
是什么私事 What kind of private thing?
它是件事 Well, it's a thing,
私人的事 and it's private.
你真不準備告訴我嗎 You're really not gonna tell me?
對 No.
不準備 今晚見 No. See you tonight.
你覺得是什么事 What do you think it is?
管他什么事 Who gives a shit?
你們兩個有誰 So, have, uh, either of you ever been
以前找過性愛治療師 to a sex therapist before?
我們以為您 W-we were under the impression
是位夫妻顧問 that you were a couple's counselor.
專長性愛治療 Specializing in sex therapy.
我勒個擦 Bloody hell.
我們不知道 We were not aware.
真謝謝了 卡羅 Thanks, Carol.
所以你們面臨的不是 Oh, so this isn't a sexual issue
性愛方面的問題嗎 that you're here to deal with?
其實也是 Well, it is.
是的啊 It is.
好吧 那不如你們 All right, then why don't you tell me
告訴我些目前的情況吧 a little bit about what's going on?
好吧 Okay.
我們的婚姻最近 We have recently been through a, um...
遭遇了一些波折 a bit of a rough patch in our marriage,
我們都想努力渡過難關 which we have both worked very hard to get past.
可惜 Unfortunately...
還是留下了某些 it has left us with certain...
后遺癥 uh, ramifications.
性愛方面的嗎 Sexual?
性愛方面 是的 Sexual. Yes.
性愛方面 Sexual.
-性愛方面 -有本事再說十遍 - Sexual. - Say it another 10 times.
對不起 可就是性愛方面啊 I'm sorry, it is sexual.
還剩九遍 Nine more.
肖恩 讓我問你個問題 Sean, let me ask you a question.
你勃起有障礙嗎 Are you able to achieve an erection?
我不太想說 I'd really rather not say.
如果你們想讓我幫助你們 If you want me to help you...
我們就是為這個來的 That is why we're here.
好吧 Fine.
所以 有障礙嗎 So, are you?
有什么來著 Am I what?
你勃起有障礙嗎 Are you able to achieve an erection?
你的勃起是不是無法持續 Do you find it difficult to maintain your erection
無法完成整個性交 to complete intercourse?
我不太想說 I'd rather not say.
是的 Yes.
你自慰嗎 Do you masturbate?
-她還是我 -你 - Her or me? - You.
我不太想說 I'd rather not say.
貝佛利 我想做個小練習 Beverly, I'd like to try an exercise.
好的 All right.
如果你的陰道可以跟肖恩說話 If your vagina could speak to Sean right now,
它會怎么跟他說 what would it say to him?
如果我的陰道會說話 If my vagina could speak,
我們現在要面對的問題就完全不同了 we'd be having an entirely different set of problems.
我感覺到了你有些不自在 I sense your discomfort.
但是 盡量吧 But, please.
好吧 Okay.
我猜 如果它會說話 I suppose, if it could speak...
它會想告訴肖恩 ...it would want him to know...
不不不 以陰道的角色跟肖恩對話 No. No. No. As your vagina to Sean.
你好 肖恩 Hi, Sean.
你們有沒有想過用其它的性交方式代替呢 Have you two thought about alternatives to intercourse?
也許你們可以為對方口交 Perhaps you could pleasure each other orally
或者是肛交 or engage in anal play.
當然想過了呀 Mm, absolutely.
快帶我回家 我想回家 Take me home. I want to go home.
雖然也有別人進入了我 Though others have been in me,
可我想的還是你 you are the one I want.
肖恩 當你發現自己勃起問題的時候 Sean, as you find yourself losing your erection...
真棒 又回到這話題了 Oh, good, we're back on that.
你覺得貝佛利能不能 ...do you think that there's anything
做一些不一樣的事 that Beverly could do differently?
不能 No.
不能嗎 或許是她以前做過的什么事 No? Maybe something that she used to do,
-或者你的性幻想 -沒有 - or for some fantasy? - No.
或許是別的女人做過的事 Maybe something that this other woman did.
天吶 沒有 Oh, God, no. Look...
這跟性愛無關 It's not about sex.
-好吧 -真的無關 - Well... - It's not.
我不想讓你失望 I hate to disappoint you.
我知道那是你的專長 I realize that's your thing,
也抱歉你不能幫到我們 and I'm sorry if this leaves you out of the mix,
但我們之間發生的事不是 but what happened to us had nothing to do with...
交配方面的 copulation.
我現在也是代表我的老二說話 And I'm speaking for my cock here, as well.
如果這樣 那是什么呢 Well, so then, what is it about?
信任 Trust.
信任 Trust?
對 Right.
和性愛無關 甚至和愛不愛都無關 It's not about sex. It's not even about love.
愛沒有那么難 Love's the easy bit.
結果發現 It turns out,
完全信任某個人 finding trust with someone,
有安全感 feeling safe,
這很 that's...
而當終于我跟她在一起時 我覺得 and when I finally found it, I thought,
"找到了 這就是了" "well, there you go. That's it."
但是 But...
當信任消逝 when the trust goes away,
當你沒有了這種感覺 when you can't feel it anymore...
我不知道怎么再去找回來 ...I don't know how you get it back.
有時候我覺得 Sometimes I think...
什么 What?
有時候我覺得 Sometimes I think
或許我們不經意 maybe we've somehow...
破壞了這段關系的基礎 broken something fundamental...
再也無法修復 that can't be fixed.
搞什么東西 What the fuck!
你瘋了嗎 Are you crazy?
你非得告訴她那些破畫是吧 You had to tell her about the fucking paintings.
在你大嘴說出來之前 她好得很 She was fine until you opened your big mouth.
之前三個禮拜 她根本都不知道畫不見了 Three weeks, she didn't even know that they were gone!
現在 突然之間 Now all of a sudden,
就開始“我不能沒有我的畫 it's, "oh, I need my paintings.
我感覺不到藝術的存在了” I can't feel the presence of my art."
老天 你個狗日的 God, you're a dick.
那你來日啊 Then suck me.
少他媽管我的閑事 Just stay out of my goddamn business!
否則呢 你要砍掉我的劇 Or what? You'll cancel my show?
等等 不行啊 因為他們砍了你 Oh, wait, you can't, because they canceled you.
你知道嗎 我慶幸我當時沒砍了你 You know what? I'm glad I didn't cancel you.
我就喜歡看你被這破劇拖后腿 I like knowing you're stuck in that piece of shit.
感覺真爽 It feels good.
是嗎 你知道什么才是真爽嗎 Oh, yeah? You know what really feels good?
把我老二塞進你老婆陰道里 Putting my penis inside your wife's vagina.
看不出來還上過醫學院啊 Oh. Look who went to medical school.
你知道嗎 她送你了 You know what? You can have her.
本來就是我的 I already got her.
那就留著吧 Well, keep her!
另外 眼瞎這事 By the way, is the whole blind thing
你還沒開始厭煩嗎 getting a little tired yet?
等到她喝湯的時候你再看吧 Wait till you watch her eat soup.
夠了 All right, that's it.
從我車道上滾開 Get the hell out of my driveway,
而且你最好把那些畫還回去 and you better put those fucking paintings back.
要不然呢 Or what?
你才嚇不住我 You don't scare me.
我說真的 Huh? I'm serious.
你可不想嘗嘗我的老拳 You do not want to mess with this.
我指天發誓 I swear to God!
算你走運 我今晚還有飯局 You are so lucky that I have dinner plans.
大家都非常高興 We're all really excited about
這劇被移到周六了 the show moving to Saturday.
再詳細說說吧 Talk a little more about that.
周六晚上的原創劇非常的少 Well, there's so little original programing on Saturdays.
讓我們可以接觸到全新的觀眾群 It gives us a chance to reach a whole new audience.
那大致說來 你希望這劇受歡迎 So, basically, you're hoping to do well
只是因為沒有同時段的劇競爭而已 only because there's nothing else on.
對 Yeah.
我從來沒看過 I never saw it,
不過這劇在英國播的時候 but when you did the show in England,
非常的受歡迎 對嗎 it was a big hit, right?
那是我們沒有理解到笑點嗎 Is there something we're not getting?
你就沒理解這劇跟英國播的根本不一樣 You're not getting the show we did in England!
抱歉 Excuse me.
能把他倆搶走一小會不 Can I just steal these two for a sec?
當然 Sure.
不用謝 You're welcome.
我的天 我們這劇還有人喜歡看嗎 My God, does anyone like our show?
可能有的 Probably.
他在那 There he is.
誰在那 There who is?
卡斯特 Castor.
你覺得怎么樣 What do you think?
我覺得他是懸崖 I think he's the Cliff,
你就是縱下懸崖的末路狂花 and you're Thelma and Louise.
可不 二話不說 Yeah. I'd drive off that.
等你們談完了工作 Okay, so when you're finished talking business,
我在吧臺那邊等你們 I'll be over at the bar.
你看他 Look at him.
他面對這么大壓力 He's under so much pressure.
這是 他第一份正式露面 This is, like, his first official thing.
一定很難的 It's got to be so hard.
那個 Anyway...
對了 找個時間 Oh, by the way... At some point,
我們得好好談談 we need to have a little chat
今天去咨詢師那里的情況 about our visit to the "Counselor" Today.
對了 怎么樣啊 Oh, right. How'd it go?
-現在不談 -告訴我嘛 - Not now. - No, tell me.
你應該告訴我她是性咨詢師 You might have mentioned she's a sex therapist.
-我沒有說嗎 -沒有 - Didn't I? - No.
-沒有 -沒有 - No? - No!
她說到肛交 She talked about anal play.
我們還是晚點再談吧 Maybe let's do this later.
很好 Let's.
馬特·勒布朗來了 I have Matt LeBlanc coming in.
莫寧和其他男孩已經到了 So, Morning and the boys are here already,
斯透克不來了 你知道的吧 and Stoke's not coming. You know that, right?
他憑什么就可以不用來了 How the hell did he get out of it?
他在拍洗發水廣告 He's shooting some V05 commercial.
他奶奶的頭發 Fucking hair.
重要的是你來了 The important thing is that you're here.
大家都很期望跟你說話 Everybody's very excited to talk to you.
很好 我很期望能喝點酒 Great. I'm very excited about vodka.
你能給我拿杯伏特加嗎 Can you get me a vodka?
可以的 想要任何東西就告訴我 I can. Anything you need, I'm here.
伏特加 Uh, vodka.
沒問題 Absolutely.
首先 我們先對一下臺詞 First, let's just go through a few quick talking points.
行 行 Yeah. Yeah.
《冰球小子》移到周六播出 You're really psyched about
你非常高興 "Pucks'" Big move to Saturday.
對這部戲來說是個絕佳的機會 It's a great opportunity for the show,
感覺是一個全新的開始 feels like a fresh start,
有機會去吸引一個新的觀眾群 and it's a chance to attract a whole new audience.
還有嗎 Anything else?
伏特加 Vodka?
這就對了 There you go.
我得問一下 I got to ask,
是什么吸引你回來的 what made you come back in this?
街上又有家新銀行開張 Uh, a new bank opened down the street,
我想多存點錢進去 and I wanted to fill it up.
說真的 No, seriously,
你曾經拍過那么火的戲 after being on a hit,
現在這個情況應該很不好受吧 this has got to be rough, no?
哪里 我玩得很開心 Nah. I'm having a blast.
很高興這部戲挪到周六檔 Very excited about the show moving to Saturday.
周六 Saturday.
可你現在基本都不出鏡了啊 Even though you're barely on it now?
這怎么可能 That's not true.
怎么會突然一下子 How come all of a sudden,
就沒人愿意聊我頭發變灰掉的事 no one wants to talk about my hair turning gray?
無意冒犯 不過這已經不是你的戲了 No offense, it's not really your show anymore.
你這是想找事嗎 What, are you trying to cause trouble here?
還是我的戲啊 It's still my show.
是嗎 Is it?
我發誓 他們沒給我們過目 I swear, they never showed it to us.
你自己看看 Look at that!
我他媽比冰球還小了 I'm smaller than the fucking puck!
給我來杯雞尾酒好嗎 Hey, can I have a daiquiri, please?
嘿馬特 Hey, Matt.
布魯諾·艾肯 《休士頓前哨報》的 Bruno Aiken, Houston Sentinel.
你們好 How you doing?
你是那個說我肥的人 You're the guy who called me fat.
我沒 我沒 Uh, I don't... I don't...
你寫的評論里邊 你說我肥 In your review. You called me fat.
你他媽開玩笑嗎 Are you fucking kidding me?
你比我要胖十倍 You're 10 times fatter than me.
那個 Well...
你專欄配的照片可看不出來 You know, you can't tell from
那么小小一張圖 that tiny picture in your stupid column
還留著大胡子 and with the beard and everything,
不過胡子下邊可全是肉 but that's all face under there.
你知道我們挪到周六了吧 So, you know we're moving to Saturday?
你覺得我們還得在這兒呆多久 How much longer do you think we have to stay?
我不知道 I don't know.
操 Shit.
-什么 -看那邊 - What? - Over there.
拜托上帝 可別讓他看見我們 Oh. Please, God, don't let him see us.
我今天是真沒法面對他 I swear, I cannot face him tonight.
絕對聽不得 貝貝你猜怎么著 If I hear one more, "Bev, guess what?
我放了個屁 崩出個奧斯卡獎 I farted, and an Oscar came out."
這樣 如果他朝我們走過來 All right, if he moves towards us,
我們就假裝 let's just pretend...
操 他看見我們了 Fuck, he saw us.
上帝 別過來 Oh, God, please don't come over.
千萬別過來 他過來了嗎 Please don't come over. Is he coming over?
沒有 No.
這可奇怪了 Well, that's odd.
-真是他嗎 -當然是他 - Sure it's him? - Of course it's him.
你看那裝模作樣的圍巾 Look at the poncy scarf.
可能他沒看見我們 Maybe he didn't see us.
他肯定看見了 Oh, he saw us.
你看 他又看見我們了 Look, he just saw us again.
沒反應 And nothing!
連揮手都懶得揮 Didn't even wave!
他當我們不存在 He's blowing us off.
那個小混蛋 That little shit!
給我來杯伏特加 然后再來一杯 Give me a vodka, and then another vodka.
你們看什么呢 What are you guys staring at?
在看安德魯 萊斯利那個小賤人 That dick whistle Andrew Lesley.
安德魯 萊斯利也來了 Andrew Lesley's here?
安德魯 Andrew.
勒布朗先生 Monsieur LeBlanc!
你在這兒干嗎呢 What are you doing here?
我跟電視臺拍了一個試播集 Oh, I-I just shot a pilot with a network.
NBC之后又拍了一個 Plus the one for NBC?
可不是 I know.
感覺一個我都不夠用了 I worry there won't be enough of me to go around.
我一直沒機會跟你說 Listen, I didn't get a chance to tell you.
我很喜歡你的劇本 I loved your script.
才沒有 You did not.
我的天 你開玩笑嗎 Oh, my God, are you kidding?
大家是都這么說啦 不過 Well, everyone says it, but still.
你目前選角進展到哪里了 So, uh, where are you with casting?
沒進展到哪 還不是多虧了你 In hell, thanks to you.
你可真是害苦我了 Y-You positively ruined me.
我現在只能在頭腦里幻想你的音容笑貌了 Now I can only hear your voice in my head.
繼續幻想 Well, keep hearing it,
他們目前把《冰球小子》挪到一個新的檔期 'cause they're trying "Pucks" On a new night,
如果還是沒有成效的話 and if it doesn't work...
你可真是會逗我開心 Now you're just being a tease.
別再調戲我了 Hey, stop teasing me.
看他們那樣 Look at them.
真是個混蛋 What an asshole.
哪一個 Which one?
隨便選 Take your pick.
我們現在排在末位 這也不是個秘密了 Look, it's no secret we're in last place.
不過好消息是 我們已經觸底 只能反彈了 Good news is, we have nowhere to go but up.
當然 我知道這也算不上什么好消息 And yes, I'm aware that's not very good news.
可是似乎你們的所有節目 It's got to feel like
都在做自由落體運動 your schedule's in free fall, though.
我倒是覺得所有公共臺都是如此 I think all network TV's in free fall.
只是我們最先被推下飛機 We're just the first ones pushed out of the plane.
你以前從沒管理過電視臺 這會讓你擔憂嗎 Does it worry you that you've never run a network before?
什么 What?
我能怎么說呢 Okay, look, what can I say?
上一個做這份工作的人 The last guy who had this job
管理了很多年的電視臺 ran the network for years.
可是很不幸 他把電視臺管到地里去了 Unfortunately, he ran the network into the ground.
所以你意思是 So, you're saying
這是默克·拉皮多斯的爛攤子 this is all Merc Lapidus' mess?
抱歉你說什么 I'm sorry, what?
默克的的爛攤子 Merc's mess?
不是 Uh, no.
我是可以把問題往他身上一推了事 Uh, look, I could easily pin it all on him,
但現在整個大環境變了 but it's a totally different landscape today.
我們不是 We're not...
僅僅跟其他電視臺競爭 just competing against each other.
現在有 There are...
現在有這么多 There are all these...
新的平臺 ...new platforms.
抱歉 Excuse me a moment.
哈羅 Hey, there.
你還好吧 Are you all right?
我沒事 回去派對吧 I'm fine. Go back to the party.
聽我說 Look,
我懂的 I get it.
這很難[硬] It's hard.
你 You...
你看得出來 You can tell?
我當然能看出來 Of course I can tell.
媽呀 Oh, Jesus.
你覺得 大家都能看出來嗎 You think... Everyone can tell?
不不 你偽裝得挺好的 No! No, you're doing great.
不過我完全明白你現在的情況 But I totally get what you're going through.
你明白 You do?
完全明白 Totally.
聽我說 Now, listen to me.
你不是一個人在戰斗 You are not alone in this,
不論變得多難[硬] no matter how hard it gets,
而且相信我 and believe me,
總還有可能變得更難[硬] it can always get harder.
我覺得這是不可能了 I don't think that's possible.
我與你同在 I'm here for you.
不論你需要什么 Whatever you need.
真的 Really?
你可真美 Well, don't you look pretty.
我怎么不記得今天早上的著裝要求 I didn't realize the dress code this morning
是衣衫不整的小禮服 was cocktail disheveled.
我有給你打電話 不過這上面沒信號 I tried calling, but there's no reception up here.
我今天不行了 I can't do this today.
是穿了高跟鞋的緣故 Is it the heels?
我昨晚根本沒回家 I never got home last night.
我倒是發現 I couldn't help but notice
你的徒步裝束看著很眼熟 the hiking outfit did look familiar.
別生氣啊 Don't be mad.
卡斯特 Castor?
我的天 Oh, my God.
你跟他睡了 You slept with him.
我發誓 I swear,
根本就沒時間睡覺 there was no sleeping.
太瘋狂了 It was insane!
他持續了 正兒八經的持續了一個晚上 He went literally... Literally all night.
我就沒見過這陣仗 I've never seen anything like it.
默克狀態好的時候 Merc on a good day,
再加上偉哥 可能能達到十分鐘 plus Viagra, maybe 10 minutes.
這位簡直就是超人 This was superhuman.
搞的日歷都四處飛散了 Calendar pages were flying off.
花都破土 又開放 又謝了 Flowers were coming up and opening, and dying.
我覺得 不是針對你啊 I guess, hmm, no offense,
不過我真是恨你 but I definitely hate you.
怎么了 天 抱歉 What? Oh, God. Sorry.
不不 別不好意思啊 No, no. Don't feel bad.
這又不像是你去告訴甘地 It's not at all like telling Gandhi
你吃了一整只火腿 about how you ate a whole ham.
我 I...
我如果說我現在全身酸痛 你能高興點嗎 If it helps, I'm really sore!
我不能 Doesn't help!
你好啊 Hello, there.
就想告訴你一聲 Just thought you'd be happy to know
那些畫都回來了 the paintings are back.
真的 Really?
又都掛回到墻上了 Up on the walls and everything.
那太好了 That's great.
謝謝你 沒有插手 Thank you for, uh, staying out of it.
我知道不容易忍住 I know that wasn't easy.
我很高興事情都走上正規了 I'm just happy it all worked out.
操你大爺 勒布朗
我們晚點見嗎 So, am I seeing you later?
當然 Definitely.
吃屎吧 混蛋
去沙灘上 Maybe go to the beach?
應該不錯 我特別想去游泳 Oh, sounds great. I am dying for a swim.
馬特·勒布朗給男人吹簫
晚點我們要不出去走走 Maybe after, we could go out somewhere.
去諾布怎么樣 How about Nobu?
洛杉磯著名日式餐廳
諾布 我喜歡諾布 Nobu? I love Nobu.
你干嗎呢 What are you doing?
我不知道 I don't know.
就看看 Just looking.
要不要把椅子 Would you like a chair?
不要 No.
想干點什么不 Want to do something?
當然 Sure.
做啥 What?
隨便 無所謂 Anything. I don't care.
看場電影什么的 Like a movie or something?
也不是很隨便嘛 So, not anything.
不是很想看電影 Not really in a movie mood.
我們可以呆在家里 為對方口交 We could just stay at home and pleasure each other orally.
我的天 Oh, my God!
簡直是我生命中最可怕的一個小時了 That was the worst hour of my life.
那 也不想來一點 肛交 So then, uh, not up for a little, uh, anal play?
看過一次肛交 Saw an anal play once.
-很惡心嗎 -是的 - Was it shitty? - It was.
所以我們才能掙大錢呢 That's why we get the big bucks!
你還能從中恢復過來嗎 Will you ever recover from that?
不可能了 永久性心理創傷 Never. Permanently traumatized.
不過為什么你的陰道說話的聲音 By the way, why does your vagina
像尤達大師 sound like Yoda?
我當時不知道該怎么辦 I didn't know what to do.
“插入我 你可以的” "Penetrate me, you could.
-“濕潤了 我已經” -閉嘴 - Lubricated, I am." - Shut up.
“有時候 我像爆米花一樣 有味兒” "Sometimes, like popcorn, I smell."
別說了 Stop it!
我們沒有壞掉 We're not broken.
你真這么想 You don't think?
也就裂了個縫 Maybe a little cracked.
還真沒想到 Did not see that coming.
真沒有 No!
這次為什么不一樣了 What was different this time?
我也不知道 I have no idea.
我們得記住我們做的所有動作 We have to remember everything we did.
我會記得的 Oh, I'll remember.
我們要不再來一次 弄弄明白 Should we do it again just to make sure?
真的 Really?
那醫生真是個天才 That doctor was a genius.
我去 什么時候了 Oh, shit. What time is it?
問時間干嗎 Seriously?
我們錯過了我們的戲 We missed our show.
什么戲 What show?
“什么戲” "What show?"
對 周六了 Right, it's Saturday!
隨便吧 Oh, well.
簡直難以置信 Unbelievable.
我們輸給了一部叫做 We lost to something called
《倉儲戰爭：德州篇》的東西 "Storage Wars: Texas"?
人家還是重播 Which was a repeat, by the way.
還輸給了《邪惡金槍魚》 We also lost to "Wicked Tuna,"
《美味運動衫》 "Jerseylicious,"
《沼澤居民》 "Swamp People."
我去 我忘了看《沼澤居民》 Oh, shit. I missed "Swamp People."
情況不妙啊 大家 This is not good, you guys.
情況是這樣了 不過這還只是第一周呢 All right, but this is just the first week.
他們總得給觀眾一個認識我們的過程 They've got to give the audience a chance to find us.
他們一定會的吧 對不 I mean, they've got to, right?