翻译：NANA 别扭大菜
翻译：小肚腩 谋贤良
校对：NANA小霸王
时间轴：浓子
后期：鱼骨头 总监：NANA小霸王
前情提要
你们当时还有另外一个在传阅的剧本 You had a script that was going around back then.
大家都在谈论那个 It was all anyone talked about.
我们不准备再在美国拍戏了 We are not looking to do another show here.
CBS台也想掺进来 CBS wants in.
这就是三家电视台了 That's three networks.
只有一家能拿到这个剧本 Well, only one is getting it.
这可有意思了 This is fun.
我们一整年的时间都感到完全无能为力 We have spent a year feeling absolutely powerless.
一旦我们对这些混蛋点了头 As soon as we say yes to one of those fuckers,
我们又会回到那个境地 we're right back there.
可如果我们现在走了 But if we go now,
就在他们争抢我们的这档口 with all of them fighting over us,
这是这城里最好的一件事了 that's as good as it gets in this town.
我听说马特·勒布朗 I also heard about Matt LeBlanc
要去NBC拍那个试播集 getting that big pilot over at NBC.
什么 What?
我们是不是正式砍掉了《冰球小子》 Have we officially cancelled Pucks!?
没有 Uh, no.
再接着拍六集 Pick it up for six more.
你讨厌《冰球小子》的 You hate Pucks!
我更讨厌NBC I hate NBC more.
你他妈开什么玩笑 Are you fucking kidding me?
他们不能这样 我们都被砍了 They can't do that. We were cancelled.
非正式是什么意思 What does "Not officially" Mean?
简直难以相信 Hard to believe that yesterday
昨天我们还堵在405号公路上 we were sitting in traffic on the 405.
是洛杉矶的号码 It's an L.A. Number.
全美最繁忙公路
别接 Don't answer it.
老天 别接 Oh, dear God, don't answer it.
戏里戏外
次日一早
太荒谬了 Bloody ridiculous.
简直扯淡 Utter bullshit.
来美国的原因 Reason for entering the country?
马特·勒布朗 Matt LeBlanc.
证件已经扔了 我是来拍《冰球小子》的 I threw away my I.D. I'm here for Pucks!
我以为那个剧已经挂了 I thought that was dead.
是啊 又复活了 就好像耶稣 Yeah, well, it's risen. Like Jesus.
只不过耶稣不是一部没人看的烂喜剧 If Jesus was a shitty sitcom no one watched.
操他妈 Motherfucker.
好吧 Okay.
你们想不想先说点什么 Anything you'd like to say first?
我们是在回来的飞机上写了这个本子 We wrote this on the plane back.
写的不太好 It's not very good.
是不太好 It's not.
那行 All righty then.
第一页 Uh, page one.
“更衣室内” "Interior locker room."
真没想到还会说出这几个字 Words I thought I'd never say again.
“莱曼进入” "Lyman enters."
好消息是 Now the good news is
我去协调了一下 I shuffled some stuff around,
把你们以前的办公室要回来了 and I got you your old office back.
真的呀 Really?
居然没人抢 No one snatched it up.
还有呢 温迪也还在 Even better, Wendy was still available.
你们就不用再跟新人磨合了 So you don't have to start with someone from scratch.
就这样 痛苦的回忆又都涌上心头 And with one word, it all comes rushing back.
马特 我是桑佛·夏米罗 Matt, Sanford Shamiro.
什么事 Hey, what's up?
不知道你有没有听说关于拉里·彭策尔的消息 I don't know if you heard the news about Larry Penzel.
什么消息 What news?
恐怕不是什么好消息 I'm afraid it's not good.
那是啥 No?
拉里昨晚自杀了 Larry killed himself last night.
我去 Holy shit.
是啊 简直不敢相信 I know. It's unbelievable.
阿琳今早给我打的电话 Arlene called me this morning.
据说他是在车库上吊了 Evidently, he hanged himself in his garage.
我的天哪 Oh, my God.
让人心碎 Heartbreaking.
他女儿发现的 小女孩才九岁 His daughter found him. She's only nine.
天 Jesus.
葬礼明天举行 你想去吗 Anyway the funeral's tomorrow if you want to go.
我应该去的吧 Well, I guess I should.
他从我开始挣钱起就帮我管钱了 He's been my money guy since I got money.
我待会把详细信息短信给你 I'll text you the information.
真抱歉告诉你这个坏消息 And I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news.
难以接受 Very upsetting.
是啊 I know.
要我接电话吗 You want me to get that?
是的 这事没变 Yes, that hasn't changed!
肖恩和贝佛利的办公室 Sean and Beverly's office.
艾琳·杰菲在一号线 Eileen Jaffee on one.
喂 Hello.
你们好啊 欢迎回来 Hi, guys. Welcome back.
你们收到我的篮子了吗 Did you get my basket?
好像没有 Uh, I don't think so.
温迪 我们有没有收到一个篮子 Wendy, did we get a basket?
什么 What?
一个篮子 A basket.
一个礼物篮 A gift basket.
艾琳·杰菲送来的 From Eileen Jaffee.
有 Yeah.
我们能看看吗 Can we see it?
出来看吧 Not from there.
看样子是收到了 Apparently we did get it.
太谢谢了 Thanks so much.
你们俩回来我太高兴了 I'm just happy you guys are back.
趁这个机会 Anyway, while I've got you,
千万别咬我 now don't bite my head off...
怎么 Yes?
《我们的对立面》 The opposite of us.
反正肯定咬不死你 I hope you can breathe through your neck.
我这边还有三家电视台争得头破血流 I still have three networks clamoring for it.
头破血流 Clamoring.
他们从来不会争得头破血流 They never clamor.
就让他们头破血流去吧 Well, they can clamor all they like.
我只是不希望你们哪天回头看 I just don't want you to look back someday
到时候恨自己 and kick yourselves.
这可是一大笔钱 There's a lot of money on the table here.
我只需要你们说一声行 All I need is for you to say "Go."
说行 我会把这事办成 Say "Go" And I will make it happen.
说吧 Just say it.
说行 Just say "Go".
停 No.
我的天 Oh, my God!
他说的是“停” He said "No".
不过听起来很像是“行” It sounded so much like "Go".
我要尼斯沙拉 I'll have the nicoise salad.
给我来一份那个有洋蓟的鸡丁还是什么的 Yeah, give me the chopped chicken thing with the artichokes.
菜单上没有的 It's not on the menu.
告诉大厨是我要点的菜 Just tell the chef it's for me.
很好 Very good.
你之前上哪去了 So have you been away?
好像变古铜色了 You look tan.
-是黄疸 -什么 - It's Jaundice. - What?
黄疸 我肝脏出了问题 Jaundice. There's something screwed up with my liver.
还不知道到底是什么 正在检查 They don't know. They're running tests.
我的天 Oh, my God.
希望别太严重 Well, hopefully it's nothing serious.
我都黄了 I'm yellow.
是啊 Right.
不过这肤色挺衬你的 Well, on you it looks good.
那个 Anyway, uh...
谢谢你抽出时间来 Thank you so much for making the time.
从卡斯特走了以后我们还没怎么聊过 We haven't really talked since Castor left.
你知不知道他抽屉里发现一把上膛的枪 Did you know they found a loaded gun in his drawer?
天哪 上了膛的枪 Jesus! A loaded gun?
还有一个蚀刻绘图板 记得蚀刻绘图板吗 And an Etch a Sketch. Remember Etch a Sketch?
一种通过两个旋钮作画的绘图玩具
当然记得 Sure.
好在蚀刻绘图板可杀不了人 Well, at least you can't kill someone with an Etch a Sketch.
搞不好可以 You probably can.
那个 我是想聊一聊这个职位 Anyway, I wanted to talk about the job.
我当时真不该拒绝的 I should never have turned it down.
我一直后悔来着 I've regretted it ever since.
那可不 I'll bet.
我希望你现在能重新考虑一下我 Well, I hope now you'll reconsider me.
行 Okay.
我们需要一个强势的人 I think we need someone strong.
既有活力又有经验 Someone with energy, with experience.
-毫无疑问 -同时 - No question. - Also,
这家电视台从来没有让女人担任过这职位 this network has never had a woman in that job.
你不觉得这会... Don't you think it would...
你觉得海伦·拜什怎么样 What about Helen Basch?
海伦当然很棒 Helen's great, obviously.
但我觉得... But I was thinking...
我知道 你说的是你 No, I know, you were saying you.
但海伦·拜什 那可是 But Helen Basch, come on.
她可是战果辉煌 She's got a hell of a track record.
当然啦 Well, sure.
我们需要可以扭转大局的人 We need someone who can turn this mess around.
而她有经验 She's done it before.
可不是嘛 这主意太赞了 No, totally. It's a great idea.
我知道 I know.
我只是... I just, uh...
如果能请得动她 那是很了不起的 I'd be shocked if we could get her.
因为海伦·拜什怎么会愿意离开... I mean, why would Helen Basch want to leave...
因为老子给她狠狠地砸钱 'Cause I'll throw a shitload of money at her.
那肯定可以 That should do it.
海伦·拜什 Helen Basch.
我都兴奋了 I'm excited.
我也是 Me too.
爱死了 Love it.
他说出"海伦·拜什"的瞬间 The minute he said "Helen Basch,"
我就知道 我玩完了 I knew, that's it, I'm dead.
那可是海伦·拜什 I mean, Helen Basch.
相信我 我被踢屁股走人了 Trust me, I am out on my ass.
说起来 你屁股挺翘 Which is looking very firm, by the way.
是吗 Does it?
你这是只是逗我开心吧 Are you just being nice?
我是那种人吗 Does that sound like me?
等着瞧吧 You'll see,
她一旦上任 if she takes the job,
绝对不会留下我 no way she's gonna keep me.
你当初也是这么说卡斯特的 Which is exactly what you said about Castor,
看后来不都挺好的吗 and look how well that turned out.
没错 但这次不同 Yeah, well, this is different.
怎么可能 How so?
你别批判我 Okay, don't judge me.
已经覆水难收了 I think that ship sailed long ago.
我刚开始出来工作时 When I first started out,
在ABC电视台的日间剧工作 I worked in daytime drama over at ABC.
然后我... And I, um...
和我老板好像有过一腿 I kind of had a thing with my boss.
真哒 你老板呐 Really? Your boss?
真看不出来你还是那种人 That's so unexpected and out of character.
好啦 All right.
所以你和你日间剧的老板 So you're having an affair with your boss
有过婚外情 多合适 in daytime drama, fittingly.
结果被他的蠢老婆发现了 Then his stupid wife found out.
他的蠢老婆就是... His stupid wife being...
你猜到了 You got it!
她气疯了 She went nuts.
逼他和我分手 Made him break up with me.
又逼他炒了我 Made him fire me.
也没那么蠢嘛 So not so stupid.
在这行里我们抬头不见低头见的 I see her all the time now at industry things.
听着就好玩 Ooh, that sounds like fun.
其实 也就还好 Know what, it's actually fine.
她表现的若无其事 She acts like nothing happened.
拜托老大 我毁了她的婚姻 But come on, I broke up her marriage.
她怎么可能让我当她的副手 You think she's gonna want me as her number two?
她还没答应下来呢 Well, she hasn't said yes yet.
希望还是有的 There's still hope.
以防万一 我已经开始找工作了 Just in case, I've already started looking.
-真的 -当然 - Really? - Yeah!
我总得给自己留后路啊 I gotta cover my ass.
你真觉得我的屁屁好看吗 You really think it looks good?
顺便问一下 我们在哪呢 By the way, where are we?
你就瞧好吧 You'll see.
你在和那些已婚男士 So when you're having an affair
搞婚外情的时候 with these married men,
-有没有感觉到一丝丝... -刺激 - is there any sense of... - Danger?
我是想说悔改之意 I was gonna say remorse.
好了 我们到了 All right, this is it.
你觉得怎么样 What do you think?
我恨这城市 I hate this city.
好吧 Okay.
大概在两周前 我还见他了 I saw him, like, two weeks ago.
开税务会的时候 We had a tax meeting.
他当时还挺好的 He seemed fine.
现在就是死人了 That is death in a nutshell.
让人心碎 Heartbreaking.
我知道 Oh, I know.
来宾太少了 Shitty turnout.
蒂姆·艾伦呢 Where's Tim Allen?
均为老演员
菲利西亚·拉斯海德也没来 Where's Phylicia Rashad?
他们认识他比我早多了 They were with him longer than me.
他们怎么不来 Why aren't they here?
显然他们没有你宽容大度 Obviously, they're not as forgiving as you.
什么意思 What's that mean?
你认真的吗 今天没看报纸吗 Seriously, you didn't see the paper today?
怎么了 登我了 Why, am I in it?
不幸是登了 Unfortunately.
什么 What?
联邦调查局在调查 The FBI's been investigating
他窃取客户资产的事 him for stealing money from his clients.
拉里 Larry?
似乎是黛米·洛瓦托对他做了审计 Apparently Demi Lovato had him audited.
歌手 Let It Go原唱
所以才发现的 That's how they found out.
你逗我呢吗 Are you shitting me?
不然你认为他为什么... Why do you think he, uh...
老天爷啊 Jesus Christ.
所以没人来 That's why nobody's here.
说实话阿琳能来我都很惊讶 Frankly, I'm surprised Arlene came.
你在他那放了多少钱 How much did you have with him?
什么多少钱 是所有钱 What do you mean, how much? All of it.
糟糕 Oh, shit.
或许有剩下点 Maybe some of it's left.
点儿 Some of it?
之后我会打几个电话 I'll make some calls after,
确认一下详情 find out the specifics.
不然我现在就去打 Or I'll make some calls now.
太疯狂了 This is crazy.
他原来说把我当家人一样 He used to say he thought of me as family.
他还把他姐姐佐伊家产骗光了 He also wiped out his sister Zoey,
她还是正儿八经的家人呢 and she's actually family.
操 Fuck!
你没在他那放钱吗 Hey, don't you have your money with him?
没有 六年前我就甩掉他了 Eh, I dumped Larry six years ago.
我就是有种不祥的预感 I just didn't have a good feeling.
多谢及时提醒 Thanks for the heads-up.
吹耳边风多不专业 Wouldn't have been professional.
他在吗 Is he in?
桑佛·夏米罗 Sanford Shamiro.
挨千刀的王八羔子 Motherfucking son of a bitch.
愿他安息 May he rest in peace.
你跟谁是一伙的 Whose side are you on?
今天我们大家都怀着复杂的情绪 We are all experiencing a range of emotions today.
为失去如此有才华有爱心的人 Sadness over the loss of someone
而感到悲伤 so gifted and loving.
也对他生前的选择感到疑惑 Confusion over the choices that he made.
问他孩子们名下的账户余额 Ask him about the equity account in the boys' names.
他想知道孩子们名下的 He wants to know about the equity account
账户余额 in the boys' names.
-叫什么 -艾登和迈克尔 - Remind me. - Aiden and Michael.
艾登和迈克尔 Aiden and Michael.
没了 也没有了 No, that's gone too.
该死的 God damn it.
还有那个... How about the...
你来跟他说得了 I'm gonna put you on with him.
有一个固定收入管理账户 Okay, there's a fixed income management account.
我忘记公司名称了 是三个字的 I forget the company, it's three letters.
对 就是这个 Yeah, that's it.
不是吧 Oh, come on.
没了 Well, it's gone.
都他妈没了 Just fucking gone.
不敢相信 Unbelievable.
你一直都不知道吗 You had no idea the whole time?
对 当然了 对不起 Right, obviously. Sorry.
太令人心寒了 It's heartbreaking.
这么多年来你一直都那么信任他 You trusted him all those years.
直到今天中午十一点半 Up until about 11:30 today.
你肯定感觉自己被背叛了 You must feel so betrayed.
我也不知道我到底是什么感觉 I don't know what I feel.
就感觉 我也说不好 It's like, I don't know...
我从没被强奸过 I've never been raped.
别盯着我看啊 我也没被强奸过 Well, don't look at me. I've never been raped.
干什么 What?
说不定 你在寄宿学校的时候 I don't know... boarding school?
就感觉心里突然一下子没底了 It's like the bottom just dropped out.
就感觉今天之后我的人生 Like my whole life after today is...
不知道自己该何去何从了 I don't know what I'm gonna do.
我知道这是废话 I know it's a meaningless cliché,
但钱乃身外之物 but it is just money.
至少你还身体健康 儿女绕膝 You still have your health, your children.
你说的没错 No, you're right.
的确是废话 It's a meaningless cliché.
他妈的怎么会变成这样 How did this fucking happen?
我不该落此下场 I don't deserve this.
我可是个好人 I'm a good person.
我也不知道这和好人坏人本身有没有关系 I don't know that it's about good or bad per se.
本来过着安安稳稳的小日子 You go along thinking everything's great.
当然 除了那个傻不拉几的电视剧 I mean, not the stupid show.
-确实 -没错 - Sure. - Right.
然后有一天醒来 你一半的钱就没了 Then you wake up one day, and half your money's gone.
就这么 没了 Just... just gone.
等等 你刚说什么 Wait, I'm sorry. Say what?
咋了 What?
你是说"一半" You said half?
你一半的钱没了 Half your money's gone?
是啊 Yeah.
你说的好像他把你所有钱都卷跑了 You made it sound like he took everything.
-你是不是也这么想的 -是啊 - Didn't you think? - I did, yeah.
既然不是所有钱 Well, if it's not everything...
他卷走了我3200万 He stole $32 million from me.
-这真的是 -太疯狂了 - No, that's a - It's insane.
-一大笔钱啊 -太难以置信了 - ridiculous amount of money, of course. - Unbelievable.
但你还有 But you still have...
3100万多点 Uh, a little over 31.
咋了 What?
没事 Nothing.
到底咋了 What?
我也不想毁了你现在悲痛欲绝的心情 I don't want to diminish what you're going through in any way...
但是 But?
但是感觉没必要这么 But it does seem slightly less...
要死要活 dire.
我可是少了3200万 I lost $32 million.
确实没错 Absolutely.
但好消息是 你还有3100万 But the good news is you still have 31.
但坏消息是 我少了3200万 But the bad news is I lost 32.
-好吧我懂了 -我觉得你没懂 - Right, I get it. - I don't think you do.
我再重复一遍 To be clear,
我可是少了 I lost
他妈的3200万 32 million fucking dollars.
-是啊 我知道数额巨大 -我是说 - Yeah, that's an unbelievable lot. - I mean,
-确实 -少这么多钱确实难以置信 - No. - it's inconceivable just...
但你还有3100万呢 But you still have 31.
我对天发誓 I swear to God...
听我说 Listen to me,
你确实经历了极其可怕的损失 you have suffered a terrible, terrible loss.
你真这么认为 You think?
但你会好起来的 But you will be all right.
你真的会 You will!
你还是能过上好日子的 You can have a very nice life,
即使你只剩下了 even with as little
3100万元 as $31 million.
我咋没觉得会好起来 I... I don't see how.
就算你以后一分钱进账都没有了 Let's say you never make another dime.
你每年还有一百万能过活呢 You can still live on a million dollars a year.
不 是你只要100万就能活了 No, you could live on a million dollars a year.
那肯定是可以的 I'm sure I could.
一年100万 So a million a year.
也就是说 我80岁之前就得死 That means I'd have to die before I'm 80.
这你就放心吧 I wouldn't worry about that.
什么事啊 Yeah? What?
马特 我们准备好开拍了 Matt, we're ready to shoot.
好吧 我们他妈去拍电视剧吧 Fine, let's do this fucking thing.
你确定你没问题吗 Are you sure you're up for this?
有啥问题 Why not?
我觉得你已经醉迷糊了 I'd say you're significantly drunk.
你就从没见我醉过 You've never seen me drunk.
你吐在我身上过 You vomited on me.
我咋不记得有这回事 I don't recall that.
为啥我们现在才 How are we only now
刚发现别人会觉得这有种族歧视 finding out people think this is racist?
这个剧名拿给研究部都半年时间了 Research has had this title for six months.
莱特和王 谐音为"对与错"
我还是觉得起得很巧妙 I still think it's clever.
显然美国百姓不认同你的看法 Apparently America disagrees with you.
只有46% Only 46%.
我插一句 为啥这有种族歧视 I'm sorry, why is it racist?
我们又没有起名叫《白和王》 I mean, it's not like we called it "White and Wong".
谐音白与错
我还是挺喜欢那个名字的 I still like that one.
可能我不知道啥叫种族歧视 Maybe I don't know what racist is.
天啊 你们听说了吗 Oh, my God, have you guys heard?
你从哪跑过来的 Where did you run from?
我办公室 重大消息 我快断气了 My office. It's news. I'm breathless.
我们刚雇了海伦·拜什 We just hired Helen Basch.
确定吗 Definitely?
上面说下周就来就职了 Yeah, it says starting next week.
"衰败电视台雇得重要人物" "A major get for the failing network."
天啊 海伦·拜什 Oh, my God, Helen Basch.
她据说是特别棒 She's supposed to be fantastic.
真要这样吗 Seriously?
咋了 What?
你不会这打算带这个去片场吧 You're not really bringing that onto the stage?
为啥不能 Why not?
你真是一丁点职业精神也没有 You reek of professionalism.
3200万 32 million!
我带他去看兽医 So I took him to the vet,
然后医生说是癌症 and, you know, they said it's cancer.
花了三千块钱 还是奄奄一息 So $3,000 later, you know, he's still dying, so...
刚开始他们认为是猫艾滋 At first they think it's feline AIDS,
真要这样 那也很不错了 which, you know, would have been a blessing.
但得的是癌症 救不活了 But it's cancer, so that's it.
准备彩排 Rehearsal up!
马特有点 Listen, Matt is a little...
我觉得他肯定还要接着喝 And I suspect he's not gonna get any less so.
没错 No.
所以我们最好跳过彩排 So we should probably skip the rehearsal
尽快直接拍摄 and shoot this as soon as we can.
给我们几分钟进行布光 Okay, just give us a few minutes to finish lighting, okay?
我的错 My bad.
你们他妈是在开玩笑的吧 Are you fucking kidding me?
咋了 What?
他这个样子我们还能拍吗 We're really gonna shoot with him like this?
他会没事的 He'll be fine.
真的吗 Oh, yeah?
你闻到他那大饮料杯了吗 Have you smelled his big gulp?
差不多装了一斤七两酒 It's like 30 ounces of rehab.
他这样也是情有可原 There are extenuating circumstances.
我知道他所有钱都没了 Look, I get that he lost all his money.
是一半 Half.
一半 Half?
谢谢 Thank you.
但是 还是没得商量 But you know what, there's still no excuse.
怎么能这个样子跑来工作 You don't show up for work like this.
我干这一行干了有十 I have been in this business for almost four...
实在很长时间了 forever.
但我从来没见过这么不专业的 And I have never seen this kind of behavior.
这么说吧 I'll tell you,
要是《凯莉女孩》里哪个演员敢这样 if an actor showed up like this on Kelly Girl...
什么 On what?
难道就没人他妈的记得我的剧吗 Does no one remember my fucking show?
我记得 I do.
我知道肯定没有人会看这部剧 Look, I realize nobody's ever gonna see these shows,
但至少假装认真对待一下好不好 but can we at least pretend this matters.
我为了这部破剧放弃了一集试播剧 I had to give up a pilot for this shit.
他好歹要做个榜样吧 The least he can do is set an example.
职业道德懂不懂 It's called a fucking work ethic.
有什么问题么 What's going on?
哎哟 亲 Hi, boo.
我们正提到你呢 We were just talking about you.
我正在说这么多年来 I was saying in all the years I've been doing this,
我还没见过你这种职业道德的人呢 I've never seen a work ethic like yours.
话说回来 拉里·彭策尔的事我也很难过 Anyway, sorry about the Larry Penzel thing.
天哪 Jesus.
别提了 Ugh, tell me.
拉里以前也给我管过几年的钱 You know, Larry was my money guy for years.
以前 Was?
我早就把他辞了 Oh, I got out a while ago.
我也不知道 就是有种不祥的预感 I don't know, I just had a feeling.
我了个槽 God damn it!
就只有我一个人什么预感都没有么 Am I the only one who didn't have a feeling?
我了个大槽 Jesus fucking Christ.
我该怎么办 What am I supposed to do?
我有三份该死的赡养费要付 I got three goddamn alimonies to pay.
这比我的蛋蛋得了癌症那会儿还糟糕 This is worse than when I had ball cancer.
我估计听了这个能让你好受一点 Well, if it makes you feel any better,
马特·勒布朗损失了三千两百万 Matt LeBlanc lost 32 million.
我只想说 May I just say...
化悲愤为食欲 不能解决问题 Eating your feelings is not the answer.
我的悲愤早没了 Oh, I finished my feelings a long time ago.
我现在吃的都是你们的悲愤 I'm eating your feelings now.
我知道你现在听不进去 Look, um, I know you don't wanna hear this,
但你依旧是个有钱人 but you are still a very wealthy man.
我不想听 I don't wanna hear it.
我很抱歉 但你还有三十 I'm sorry, but you still have thirty...
别说31 不许说31 Don't say 31. Don't say 31.
我问你 Let me ask you something.
你有没有想过每口少咬一点 Have you ever considered the option of smaller bites?
我问你 Let me ask you a question.
如果你们损失了一半的财产会怎么样 What if you lost half your money?
这完全不是一码事 It's totally different.
为啥 你们身家多少 Why? How much do you guys have?
我不想说 I'd rather not say.
我都告诉你们了 就给我个大概数字 Told you how much I have. Come on, just ballpark.
-不要 -你们用的是英镑 - No. - It's in pounds.
我又不会知道到底是多少 I won't even know what it means.
只能说比三千一百万少太多了 Let's just say it's a lot less than 31 million.
这个我知道 Well, I figured that.
那是多少 一千万 So, like, what, 10?
一千万 怎么可能 10? No!
-五百万 -不关你的事 - 5? - It's none of your business!
我是说你俩的加一起 I'm talking combined.
你俩身家加一起都没有五百万 The two of you combined have less than 5?
我们不可能告诉你的 We're not telling you.
好吧 差不多了就叫停 四百万 Okay, stop me when I'm close. 4.
三百万 3?
-二百万 -别说了 - 2? - Stop.
好吧 那你们身家是两百万 Okay, so you have 2.
不 别说了 No, just stop.
拜托 你们好歹也得有两百万的身家吧 Come on, you gotta have at least 2.
你们有一部很红的戏啊 You had a hit show.
在英国 In England.
好歹也是个国家啊 It's still a country.
我的天 还不到两百万 Christ, less than 2?
一百万 1?
天哪 不到一百万 Oh, my God, less than 1?
卧槽 Fuck
-你们需要钱吗 -我们不差钱 - Do you need money? - No, we don't need money.
我很担心你们 I am very concerned for you.
谢谢你的好意 我们没事 Thank you. We're fine.
这怎么能没事 You're not fine.
你们都没有钱 You got no money.
你们需要安全感 You need security.
你们已经不年轻了 You're not that young.
比你年轻 Younger than you.
真的 贵庚几何 Really? How old are you?
不关你的事 None of your business.
四十多了 More than 40?
行了 你醉了 All right, you're drunk,
谈话结束 and this conversation is over.
我是醉了 但是谈话继续 Yes, I am, and, no, it's not.
你们都没有积蓄 You... you got no savings.
你们70岁以后还想好好活吗 You want the lights to still go on when you're 70?
你们需要有危机感 You should be worried.
危机感 Very worried.
怎么了 What?
我们需要有危机感吗 Should we be worried?
不需要 No!
你确定要接受一个 You're taking financial advice from a man
醉得七荤八素的家伙的理财建议 who is literally sloshing while he walks.
话是这么说 Still...
亲爱的 三千一百万都喂不饱这家伙 Sweetheart, 31 million isn't enough for him.
连一百万都没有才叫吃不饱 You know what isn't enough? Less than 1.
我们是不是应该考虑那件事 Maybe we should think about doing the other thing.
-亲爱的 别 -哪件事 - Darling, don't... - what other thing?
那本炙手可热的剧本 That script everyone wants.
这还用想吗 How is that even a question?
你能别管我们的事吗 Will you please stay out of this?
去呗 一大笔进账啊 No, do it. Cash in.
别跟着我们 Stop following us.
你以为世道永远都会是这样吗 You think it's always gonna be like this?
是 电视剧作家 Oh, sure, television writers.
等你们老了 When you get old,
才是大把捞钱的时候 that's when the big bucks start rolling in.
别让他动摇你 Don't let him do this.
我们从来都没担心过钱的事情 We have never worried about money.
所以你们才穷 Which is why you don't have any.
我们很傻很天真么 Are we being stupid?
-是的 -不是 - Yes! - No!
再多钱也不值得我们受这份罪 No money is worth going through this again.
我拿不准 I don't know.
走慢点儿 Slow down!
你怎么还在 Why are you still here?
行 我就再说一件事 All right, I'll say one thing,
然后就闭嘴 and then I'll drop it.
你才不会 I bet you don't.
嗨 马特 Hi, Matt.
你 You... uh...
假设你们再也卖不出剧本了 let's say you never sell another show.
一本也写不出来了 You don't make any more after this.
你拿什么过日子 How you gonna live?
你要怎么办 What are you gonna do?
回老家 开间小店 Go home, open a little shop...
卖点笑话 Selling jokes?
笑话 笑话便宜卖了 Jokes. I've got jokes.
要笑话么 先生 一个笑话一便士 Joke, sir? Penny for a joke.
都是屁话 Bloody hell!
我认真的 I'm serious.
我爷爷一直到葬礼前两天 My grandfather was still driving a laundry truck
都还在开洗衣卡车 two days before his funeral.
你总想有一天要退休的吧 You wanna retire someday?
现在就得挣钱 You gotta make your money now.
那就挣钱 但不是在这里挣 Okay, money, fine. But not here.
这里就是你挣大钱的地方 Here is where you make the money.
你是怎么回事 What's the matter?
太艰难了 It was too hard?
他们乱改你们的剧本 They changed your little show?
他们不尊重你们的才华 They don't respect your talent?
就是这样他们才会付你们那么多钱 That's why they pay you so much!
你闭嘴 Stop talking.
你刚是不是舔我了 他舔我 Did you just lick me? He licked me!
-淡定 -你是个恶魔 - Calm down. - You're a monster!
有时候恶魔才是对的 Yeah, well, sometimes the monster is right.
别犯傻了 Don't be stupid.
打给你的经纪人 Call your agent.
卖剧本 挣大钱 Sell your show. Make the money.
我很抱歉 I'm sorry.
但是恶魔说的对 The monster is right.
肖恩·林肯在一号线 Sean Lincoln on one.
你好 亲爱的 Hi, honey.
行 It's... Go.
太棒啦 Oh, my God!
爷爷那段我瞎编的 I made up the part about my grandfather.