前情提要
翻譯：別扭大菜
我想讓你們找安德魯·萊斯利談談 I need you to talk to Andrew Lesley.
我們是不可能和那個自以為是 There is no way we are speaking
表里不一 屁話連篇的圍巾男說話的 to that smug, duplicitous, talking scarf.
翻譯：小肚腩 謀賢良
要是你幫我這個忙 If you do this for me,
校對：NANA小霸王
我就帶你去金球獎贊助商展示活動 I will take you to a Golden Globes gifting suite.
再多說點 Say more.
時間軸：濃子
寫的太棒了 So this is fantastic.
后期：魚骨頭 總監：NANA小霸王
非常成熟又幽默 It's sophisticated and hilarious,
你這一天估計都在聽這些話 and you've been hearing that stuff all day long.
我說對了吧 So, was I right?
她很棒 有沒有 She's great, right?
-她令人印象深刻 -媽呀 - She's very impressive. - Jesus.
趕緊告訴我你準備把劇給我們 Just tell me we're getting the fucking show.
這可能是個大錯 It's probably a huge mistake,
我肯定到時候會非常后悔這個決定 and I'm sure there'll come a day when I regret this.
所以你答應了 So it's a yes!
我們需要做的是 What we need to do
減少你的花銷 is look at reducing your expenses.
孩子的撫養費 贍養費 Child support, alimony--
那個實際上也不需要了 Actually, that one's going away.
我前妻就要再婚了 My ex-wife's getting remarried.
那可真是省了一大筆 Well, that's a sizable saving.
恭喜啊 Congratulations.
你跟奧利怎么樣了 Where are we with Ollie?
-結束了 -就這樣了 - It's over. - So that's it?
就這么結束了 It's just--just over?
對 結束了 Yeah. Over.
天啊 Oh, Jesus.
你眼睛里那是淚嗎 Are those tears in your eyes?
太讓人難過了 This is very upsetting.
戲里戲外 第四季 第三集
看著 Okay, watch.
首先像這樣畫上青蛙先生的眼睛 First you draw Mr. Froggie's eyes, like this.
畫上下巴 Now let's give him a chin.
再加上腿 He's gonna need some legs...
還有嘴 And a mouth.
他非常驚訝 And he's really surprised,
他自己居然不是青蛙 'cause he's not a frog at all.
而是... 我勒個去 He's a-- what?
咋了 What?
是蒂姆·韋狄克的消息 Something from Tim Whittick.
他在這里 He's in town.
想和我們共進午餐 Wants to have lunch with us.
是和"我們"還是和"你" With "us" or with "you"?
也可能是指"你們" Could be the plural "you".
-親愛的 他討厭我 -他沒有 - Darling, he hates me. - He doesn't.
得了吧 Oh, please.
在他眼里 我要是沒出現 In his mind, if I hadn't come along,
你倆肯定還在共同創作 you'd still be writing together.
他叫我洋子 He calls me Yoko.
小野洋子 被指因其出現而導致披頭士解散
他才沒有叫你洋子 He doesn't call you Yoko.
是沒有當面叫過我 但是 - Well, obviously, not to my face, but--
好吧 我從沒跟你說過這事 All right, I've never told you this
因為我知道你肯定會說我瘋了 because I know you'll say I'm crazy,
但他每次見到我 but every time he sees me,
他總是會在對話中有意無意提到"小野" he somehow manages to work the word "Ono" into the conversation.
"不是吧"[音同"小野"] "Oh, no."
沒錯 你是瘋了 Yeah, you're crazy.
你們還在嗎 Are you still there?
我們當然都還在 Of course we're still here.
辦公室又沒有別的門 There's no other way out.
肖恩和貝佛利辦公室 Sean and Beverly's office.
艾琳·杰菲 一號線 Eileen Jaffee on one.
你好 Hello.
你們快死了嗎 So are you dying?
每天死心一點點 A little bit every day.
言歸正傳 《交易雜志》頭版 Seriously, front page of The Trades.
-什么 -你們還沒看到嗎 - What? - You haven't seen them yet?
沒有 No.
在大肆宣傳你們賣劇本的事 There's a whole thing about you guys selling the show.
溫迪 《交易雜志》到了嗎 Wendy, have The Trades arrived yet?
什么交際 What trains?
交易 Trades.
稍等 艾琳 Hang on, Eileen.
瞧瞧 Look at that.
真不敢相信你們還沒看過 I can't believe you didn't see it.
真不敢相信他們用了那張傻乎乎的照片 I can't believe they used that stupid picture.
我看起來就像是某個失敗的男聲團體成員 I look like I'm in a failed boy band.
別管照片了 這事多了不起啊 Forget the picture. Enjoy this.
直接預訂一季 A straight-to-series pickup--
今天會有三百名電視編劇恨死你們了 there are 300 TV writers who hate you today.
沒有比這更好的了 It doesn't get better than that.
你確實喜歡讓人嫉妒 You do like the envy.
好了 我得掛電話了 All right, I'm jumping off.
恭喜恭喜 你們可能不這么說 Mazel tov, as you probably don't say.
Mazel tov 為美國常用的希伯來語
-拜拜 -謝謝 - Bye. - Thank you.
新上任的電視臺執行官海倫·拜什稱 "Newly appointed network prexy Helen Basch says,
很高興能拍攝如此才華橫溢的劇本 'we're thrilled to be working with a script of this caliber.'"
謝謝你 海倫 Thank you, Helen.
這是真不能回頭了 No turning back now.
你就不能高興點嗎 You really can't let yourself enjoy it?
不能 我就這樣 Not and still be me.
好吧 Okay.
糟糕程度從一到十 On a scale of one to ten,
你覺得這會有多尷尬 How awkward would this be?
默克·拉皮多斯 Merc Lapidus...
五 Five.
想要過來推銷一部戲 Wants to come in and pitch a show...
七 Seven.
我可能得買下這部劇 And I'm probably gonna buy it.
最高是十 對吧 It goes up to ten, right?
他賣的什么劇 What's he pitching?
我不知道 I have no idea.
但你知道你會買下來 But you know you're gonna buy it?
我可能不得不買 I sort of have to.
為什么 Because?
因為我人生第一份工作是他給的 He gave me my first job.
不可能 No way.
所以我大概是欠他一份人情 Yeah, so I kind of owe him.
至少他是這么說的 At least that's what he said.
你和他談過了嗎 You talked to him?
我只是聽著 他苦求我 Oh, I listened. He begged.
他乞求的水平可真高超啊 He's very good with the begging.
相信我 我清楚著呢 Believe me, I know.
不不 No. No.
我 我不是指的 I-I didn't mean...
那方面 that way.
咋了 我... What? Look, I--
我不知道你聽說了什么八卦 I don't know what you've heard--
我聽說你倆奸情了五年 I heard that it lasted five years
他離開后才斷了 and ended when he left.
看來你已經很了解了 So you're pretty much caught up.
我就覺得該幫他點什么 I just think I've got to do something.
他的人生真是糟糕透了 I mean, his whole life went to shit.
先被解雇 然后離婚 First the firing, then the divorce,
然后又是拉里·彭策爾這事 Now the Larry Penzel thing.
天啊 他也牽扯上了 Oh, my God, he was in that?
他很有可能遭受重創了 Supposedly, he took a big hit.
那他過來你沒事吧 So you're gonna be okay having him here?
當然 Absolutely.
完全沒事 我說真的 I'll be fine. Honest.
-有多真呢 -算是二吧 - Honest on a scale of-- - Let's say two.
夠了 Good enough.
機組就位 Camera set.
背景就位 And background. And...
開拍 action.
臺詞 Line?
"早上好" "Morning."
早上好 Morning.
你要是識字的話 If you could read,
應該能看到已經閉館了 you'd see the library is closed.
臺詞 Line?
"聽說你和我弟弟玩得很開心啊" "So I hear you and my brother had a good time."
聽說你和我弟弟玩得很開心啊 So I hear you and my brother had a good time.
也就差不多三分鐘 For about three minutes.
不幸的是 約會長達三小時 Unfortunately, the date lasted three hours.
臺詞 Line?
"是誰早就提醒過你 "Hey, who's the person who warned you about him
而且不止發了一兩封 in not just one, not just two,
而是五封郵件 but five emails,
并且每封都有個搖手指的表情" one of which had an emoticon of a wagging finger?"
我可早提醒過你了 Hey, I warned you.
你開什么玩笑 Are you kidding me?
臺詞 Line?
不是 混蛋 是我本人在說 No, asshole. That's me talking.
一整集你只有六句臺詞 You have six fucking lines in the whole episode.
-誰他媽在乎 -老天爺啊 - Oh, who gives a shit? - Jesus christ.
這破爛劇又不會有人看 No one's gonna see this piece of crap.
我才不會浪費時間背這破玩意兒 I'm not gonna waste my fucking Time learning it.
還要繼續嗎 Shall we continue?
你用看看劇本嗎 You need to see the script?
不用 我挺好 No, I'm good.
準備 開始 And action.
-臺詞 -王八犢子 - Line? - Son of a bitch!
卡 Cut!
好 都拍完了 All right, I think we got that.
這場戲的結尾都沒拍呢 We didn't even get to the end of the scene.
沒關系的 已經夠好了 It doesn't Matter. It's good enough.
是不是因為馬特那破禮物套裝 Is this about going to the stupid gifting suite with Matt?
我得趕在好東西沒了之前到那 I have to get there before the good stuff's gone.
我們可以休息吃午餐了 I say we break for lunch.
真的 Really?
明顯我們已經開始休息了 Apparently, we've already broken.
好的 大家可以去吃中飯了 Okay, that's lunch, everybody.
你還等什么 What are you waiting for?
去換衣服 快點 快點 Go change. Go. Go.
好 你必須努力克制一點 Okay, you are gonna have to try and calm down.
我這已經很努力了 This is me trying.
快去 Go!
蒂姆來了 Oh, there's Tim.
-該死 -蒂姆 - Oh, shit. - Tim!
我說的"該死"二字 有哪部分讓你覺得 What about "Oh, shit" made you think
我想讓他過來了 I wanted him over here?
-蒂姆來了啊 -你好啊 - It's Tim. - Hello, you.
你也好 And you.
見到你真高興 Great to see you.
悄悄這二位大人物 Look at you two moguls.
哪有啊 Hardly.
我好喜歡他的電郵 "我們片場見" I loved this one's email-- "Meet me at the stage.
"在食堂吃點東西" We'll grab a bite at the commissary."
簡直像是《日落大道》的情節 It's like something out of Sunset Boulevard.
可惜大多數時間 And yet most of the time,
我們倆就像威廉·霍登一樣浮尸泳池 we feel like William Holden floating in the pool.
《日落大道》男主演員姓名 角色也是劇作家
反正見到你挺開心的 Anyway, so nice to see you.
什么 你居然不和我們一起走 Oh, what? You're not joining us?
我也希望可以啊 Oh, I wish I could.
可惜我和馬特·勒布朗有約了 Unfortunately, I have this thing with Matt LeBlanc.
不是吧 Oh, no.
等一下 Wait. Hang on.
這間房里所有東西都是免費的嗎 Everything in this room is free?
這幾間房 Rooms.
這是第一間 This is just the first one.
我的天媽啊 Oh, my god.
簡直是《綠野仙蹤》成真了 It's like when The Wizard of Oz turns to color.
馬特·勒布朗 Matt LeBlanc.
貝絲 維內克請我們來的 Beth Vennick put us on the list.
當然 歡迎 Absolutely. Welcome.
現在怎么辦 Now what?
我們四處走走 Uh, well, now we go around,
他們會送東西給我們 and they give us stuff.
跟你說 這里和我腦子里的幻想 By the way, this is very similar
簡直一模一樣 to things I've made up in my head.
好吧 Okay.
抱歉 借過 Sorry. Sorry.
活力八號 是一種純天然能量飲品 Vive-8 is an all-natural energy drink.
匯集了八種草藥及多種維生素 It's packed with eight herbs and vitamins
以及抗氧化物 antioxidants
無糖 無咖啡因 No sugar, no caffeine.
能源來自人參 瓜拉納 The boost comes from things like
黃芪等物質 ginseng, guarana, astragalus root.
味道慘絕人寰 Tastes like plague.
想來幾罐嗎 Would you like a few cans?
當然 Absolutely.
免費 It's free.
馬特 您介意我給你照一張 Matt, do you mind if we get a shot of you
手拿活力八號的照片嗎 maybe holding the vive-8?
沒有免費的午餐 Nothing's free.
我建議一下 你能不能稍微有點選擇性 I'm just saying, try to be a little selective.
喂 看這里 Hey, eyes here.
不管你拿了什么東西 我都得給人照相 'cause whatever you take, I got to do a picture,
然后他們會放到網站上 and then it shows up on their website,
馬上就變成我在替那垃圾背書 and suddenly, I'm endorsing their shit.
我只要求你 別見啥要啥 So all I'm asking is that you don't take everything.
花生糖 Ooh, peanut brittle.
說說 你過的怎么樣 So tell me, how are you?
最近在忙什么 What have you been up to?
我來這里想見點人 Oh, I'm out here trying to get meetings
當然 誰都沒見到 and, of course, not getting meetings.
我這有個劇本 Eh, I've got this script.
我連一個閱讀后被拒絕的機會都沒有 I can't even get anyone to read it to reject it.
我懂 這破城市太惡心了 I know. It's a horrible, stupid town.
手里有倆劇的人如是說 Said the man with two tv shows.
好了 首先 Right, okay, first of all,
《冰球小子》一直以來就是個噩夢 Pucks! Has been a bloody nightmare.
沒 我講真的 No, no, seriously--
從頭到尾 就他媽是場災難 From start to finish, a fucking disaster.
喲 乖寶兒 Oh, poppet.
我這表情夠遺憾嗎 Do I look like I feel sorry for you?
已經很努力在裝了 'cause I'm trying so very hard.
傻屌 Prick.
干嘛 你還想讓我同情你 What? You want sympathy?
你的照片都登上《綜藝》雜志了 Your picture's on the front of variety,
還是挺替你高興的 which was very exciting, by the way.
當我看到的時候 When I read the thing,
我簡直就"老天爺啊 I was like, "Oh, my god.
他們在拍我們的劇" They're making our show."
等等 什么 I'm sorry. What?
我們的劇 Our show.
你終于找到人拍了 You--you finally got it on.
不不 No. No.
其實我和貝貝在做的劇 Actually, the show Bev and I are doing
和你跟我亂想出來的東西 is vastly different from that thing
非常不一樣 you and I kicked around.
這句話可不真 Well, that's not true.
不不 真的很不一樣 No, no. It absolutely is.
《我們的對立面》跟那個不一樣 The opposite of us bears no resemblance to--
我都想不起來叫什么名了 I can't even remember the name of the thing--
《我們不是他們》 We're not them.
對了 Right.
都是關于兩個家庭 I mean, they're both about two families.
那個 Well...
每個演員各飾演兩個角色 They've both got the same cast playing two parts.
對 但具體的角色 Right, but the specific characters,
故事 還有場景 the story, the scenes--
相信我 如果你看了就會發現... Believe me, if you'd read it, you'd realize--
-我已經看過了 -你已經看過了 - Oh, I've read it. - You've read it?
從斯坦利·理查森拿到了一份 I got a copy from Stanley Richardson.
他也還是我的經紀人啊 He's still my agent too, you know.
天 這人太沒用了 God, he's useless.
但他給把我們的劇本給你了 But he gave you our script?
對 所以倒也不是完全沒用 Right, so not completely useless.
對 Yeah.
讓·盧克總部在巴黎 Jean luc is based in paris.
他所有的作品都是手工縫制 All his pieces are hand-stitched.
沙朗·斯通和詹妮弗·勞倫斯 He's designed for Sharon Stone,
都有穿他的設計 for Jennifer Lawrence.
我就這么穿走嗎 And I can just take this?
我們也可以送到府上 Or we can ship it to you.
瞬間 你給我們帶來的這些折磨和痛苦 Suddenly, all the crap you've put us through
現在看來也值得了 is totally worth it.
我們家的手工莎莎醬 Our artisanal salsas are all handcrafted
全部是由天然有機的原料手工加工而成 from natural, organic ingredients.
您要來一罐嗎 Would you like a jar?
你說什么 就一罐 Seriously, a jar?
她剛剛送我一件皮夾克 She's giving out leather jackets.
貓砂 真假 Kitty litter? Really?
有機的呢 It's organic.
你他媽家里連貓都沒有 You don't have a fucking cat.
貝貝對于拍我們倆的作品有什么想法 So how does Bev feel about doing our project?
她肯定覺得很尷尬吧 That's got to be a bit awkward for her.
她什么想法都沒有 因為我們壓根沒提過 She doesn't feel anything, because we haven't discussed it,
因為 別介意 這根本不是一個劇 Because, no offense, it's not the same show.
就是一個 And yet it is.
我偷你一個薯條 I'm stealing one of your chips.
公平吧 Seems only fair.
我們先保留各自不同意見 Look, we're just gonna have to agree to disagree.
顯然我和你的記憶內容非常不一致 Clearly, my recollection of it is very different from yours.
而且我們壓根就沒有劇本 And it's not even like there's a script
可以拿出來看 we can turn to or--
有筆記啊 There's the notes.
筆記 The notes?
我們的筆記 Our notes.
那句"我來打字" And the words "I'll do the typing"
終于有回報了 Finally pay off.
好吧 這些東西我是還沒看過 Right, obviously, I haven't seen these,
但是我可以很肯定的告訴你有天壤之別 But I can tell you right now there are huge differences.
但是我的律師們還在 And yet my lawyers keep banging on
糾結那些相似點 About the similarities.
你的律師們 Your lawyers?
他們對這事兒挺激動的 They're very excited about this.
我還跟他們說他們"淡定" And I'm like, "Okay, calm down.
"這些是老朋友了" "These are old friends.
"他們才不會迫害我呢" "They wouldn't try and screw me.
"他們又不笨" They're not stupid."
去他的 這些我都要了 Ah, fuck it. I'm taking all of these.
有生之年我都不想走了 I want to stay here for the rest of my life.
那你還是快去死吧 我要閃人了 Well, then hurry up and die, 'cause I'm ready to go.
你瘋了么 Are you fucking nuts?
有可能 怎么了 Probably. What?
你教他們畫陰道了 You taught them to draw a vagina?
淡定 不就是個陰道么 Calm down. It's just a vagina.
貴安 How are ya?
他們還是孩子呀 They're children.
不會有問題的 They're fine.
怎么不會有問題 They're not fine.
說真的 放輕松 Seriously, relax.
放你個頭的松 You relax.
你又不用怕接到一堆憤怒母親的電話 You're not the one who's gonna get the calls
抱怨小孩回家的時候 From the other mothers when their kids come home--
-我的老天 -怎么了 - Oh, christ. - What?
-我等會兒打給你 -你在哪兒 - I got to call you back. - Where are you?
在一個傻逼贈送會上 At this stupid gifting-suite thing.
等會兒再講 I'll talk to you later.
不許掛我... Do not hang--
你做什么啊 這是人家的 What are you doing? That's hers.
這是我桌上拿的 It was on the table.
這好像是你的 I believe that's yours.
操他大爺的 Jesus fuck.
你欠我一個包包 You owe me a handbag.
你們在這兒啊 There they are.
來來來 Come here.
看看你倆 我最喜歡的兩個妹子 Oh, look at you-- my two favorite girls.
我發明的她們 I invented these two.
你說了算 Okay.
海倫·拜什 卡羅·蘭斯 來見見 Helen basch, carol rance, meet...
-阿爾楊·范林登 -林登 沒錯 - Arjen Van der linden. - Linden. Yes.
-歡迎 -謝謝 - Welcome. - Thank you.
很高興認識你 Nice to meet you.
這家伙是個天才 This guy is a genius.
-這個么 -別這個那個的 - Well... - No, no, no. Not "Well."
在荷蘭他的節目可是榜首 He has the number-one show in holland.
你們真該見識見識 You should see.
整個國家在周三全部停擺 The whole country shuts down wednesday nights.
餐館關門 街道空無一人 Restaurants close. Streets are deserted.
連木鞋的聲音都聽不到 You can't hear a wooden shoe.
快進來吧 跟我們說說看 Well, come on in. Tell us.
坐吧 坐吧 Sit, sit.
那我直接跟你們講吧 Should I just dive in?
-我開始講咯 -好的 - I'm diving in. - Yep.
從字面直譯的標題是 Okay, the title literally translates as,
我和裝我的盒子 This is me and the box I am in,
當然 這個標題我們會改 Which, obviously, we'll change.
因為不太抓眼球 It's not exactly gripping.
不過標題什么的先別管了 But titles, schmitles.
節目才是精彩部分 The show is fantastic.
這些荷蘭混蛋太天才了 These dutch fucks are so brilliant at this.
就像生存者加上老大哥 It's like survivor meets big brother
加上百萬富翁再加上 生存者 Meets millionaire meets... Survivor again.
好吧 Okay.
節目一開始 有12個人 It starts with, like, 12 people.
六個人 Six people. Yeah.
六個人 Six people.
他們都在盒子里面 And they're all in these boxes.
這個 一開始他們不在盒子里 他們 Well, they don't start in the boxes. They, uh--
對對對 Oh. Oh, right. Right, right, right.
不 一開始還不在盒子里 No, they're not in the boxes yet.
-他們一開始 -是坐在椅子上的 - They start... - In the chairs.
椅子上 In the chairs.
然后再降到盒子里面去的 And they're lowered into the boxes.
你們說的盒子是... When you say boxes...
是的是的 有點像是牢房 Yeah, yeah, they're like these cells
里面什么都沒有 With nothing in them.
在盒子里面的這些人 And the people in the boxes
必須回答問題 Have to answer these questions,
答對得點數 And they get points.
-其實不是點數 -對 不是點數 - Not points. - Okay, not points.
但是就像是點數 But they're like points.
-咱們就算它是點數吧 -好吧 - Let's call them points. - Okay.
用點數來換取生活必需品 Yeah. To buy, like, basic necessities,
像是毯子或是鞋或是一片水果 Like a blanket or shoes or a piece of fruit.
這個 水果要晚一些才會出現 Well, fruit is later. It's...
晚些會有水果 fruit is later.
但是像是枕頭或者廁紙啊 but say a pillow or toilet paper.
盒子里沒有廁紙么 They don't have toilet paper?
里面有廁紙 They have toilet paper.
行行行 他們有廁紙 All right, all right, they have toilet paper.
咱們先別糾結小事 Let's not get bogged down.
重點是 他們要換取生活必需品 The idea is, they're buying these basic human necessities,
不包括廁紙 With the exception of toilet paper...
因為他們已經有廁紙了 which they already have.
他們的確有 Well, they do. Yeah.
好的 Okay.
或者是 這是我最愛的部分 Or-- and this is the part I love--
他們可以消耗點數 They can spend their points
來坑其他盒子里的人 To do shit to the people in the other boxes.
他們可以讓其他人的盒子冷點或熱點 They can make someone else's box colder or hotter
也可以往里面倒蟲子 Or fill it with bugs.
-真的么 蟲子 -真的 真的 - Really? Bugs? - Oh, yeah, yeah.
這是很重要的部分 That's a very big part of it.
他們喊"放蟲啦" They yell, "Release the bugs!"
下面的觀眾會跟著喊"放蟲啦" And the audience yells, "Release the bugs!"
這些操蛋的蟲子就這么潑進去了 These fucking bugs come pouring in.
就像《誰敢來挑戰》 還記得么 It's like fear factor. You remember fear factor?
NBC為滿足觀眾的 獵奇心理而制作一個真人秀節目
跟那差不多 不過更高雅點 It's like that, but classy.
那是肯定的 他們有廁紙嘛 Well, of course. They've got toilet paper.
說的沒錯 Exactly.
那么這些人在盒子里面待多久呢 So how long are they in these boxes?
這個么 整個季度唄 Well, the whole season.
老天 Jesus.
要怎么結束呢 How does it end?
-他們相互投票決定 -不是的 - They vote each other out. - No.
不對不對 是觀眾投票 No, no, no. The audience votes.
-不是的 -我不曉得 - No. - I don't know.
反正就會結束的 It eventually ends.
我們又不會跟他們搞的一模一樣 Look, we don't have to do it like they did it.
荷蘭那什么鬼地方啊 It's fucking holland.
現在你又有空啦 Now you can talk?
我帶著禮物來的 I come bearing gifts.
你帶著垃圾回來的吧 You come bearing crap.
不全是垃圾啦 Not all of it's crap.
貓砂 Kitty litter?
好吧 有些是垃圾來的 Okay, some of it's crap.
等一下 有東西要給你看 Hang on. I want you to see something.
你兒子今天在美術課上畫了這玩意兒 Your son drew this in art class.
我了個操 看看這個 Holy shit. Look at that.
-這是陰道 -我知道 - It's a vagina. - I know.
他 畫了個 陰道 He drew a vagina.
淡定 Oh, calm down.
又沒在里面畫老二 It's not like there's a dick in it.
學校都給我打電話了 They called me from school.
必須的 I'll bet they did.
畫得太棒了 This is very impressive.
你怎么就不懂 How do you not get--
我懂 但是老天 你看看 I get it. But, jesus, look at this.
他怎么畫這些腿的 The way he drew the legs--
還有透視咧 還有細節咧 It's got perspective. It's got detail.
-連陰毛都畫了 -是啊 - It's got pubes. - Yeah.
-他才八歲 -可不是么 - He's eight. - I know.
我八歲的時候連房子白云都畫不好 When I was eight, I couldn't draw a house with clouds.
他有天分 He's talented.
你拿老娘開涮么 Are you fucking with me?
沒有 No.
試著撇開生殖器再看看 Try to get past the pussy part.
撇開生殖器就沒東西看了 There's nothing past the pussy part.
當然有東西 你看那精確度 Yeah, there is. Look at the execution.
好好看看 Just look at it.
你不得不承認 You got to admit...
好吧 我大概懂了... All right, I kind of see--
我就是這意思 that's all I'm saying.
不管怎么說 你是他父親 Still, you're his father.
你不該教他這些鬼玩意兒 You're not supposed to teach him shit like this.
我可不敢說是我教的 Hey, I cannot take credit for this.
我畫的就是一簡筆畫 That thing I drew was like a stick figure.
但這個 This...
叫天賦 is a gift.
你不許貼到冰箱上 You're not putting it on your fridge.
我絕對會貼到冰箱上 I am so putting it on my fridge.
見到你真高興 So wonderful to see you.
誰都沒有你會推銷 Nobody pitches like you do.
你今天真是拿出了最好的表現 You really brought your "A" Game.
這節目完全用不著推銷 Ah, this thing pitches itself.
我跟你們說 這節目絕對會火 I'm telling you, it's gonna be bigger here
比在荷蘭還火 than it is over there.
別再夸了 我們豆買了 Stop selling. We bought it.
阿爾楊 很高興認識你 Arjen, so nice to meet you.
我們非常期待 We're really excited about this.
謝謝 非常感謝 Thank you. Thank you very much.
我就跟你說吧 Didn't I tell you?
-周末愉快 二位 -謝謝 - Have a good weekend, you two. - Thanks.
去按電梯 Hey, get the elevator.
-我馬上就過去 -好 - I'll be right with you. - Sure.
-你剛剛叫他什么 -誰 阿爾楊 - What did you call him? - Who? Arjen?
阿爾楊 阿爾楊 Arjen. Arjen.
阿爾楊 等等 Arjen, wait up!
天啊 Oh, my god.
我們這是買了個什么呀 What did we just buy?
完全不知道 I have no idea.
反正辦的是好事 Well, we did a good thing.
派蒂 Patty?
告訴我 我今天沒有安排了 Tell me I have nothing else today.
你今天沒有安排了 You have nothing else today.
愛死你了 周一見 I love you. See you monday.
-真的嗎 -對 回家吧 - You sure? - Yes. Go home.
周末愉快 Have a good weekend.
總體來說 頭一周還不算太糟 All in all, not a bad first week.
還糟 Not bad?
我們買到了荷蘭收視率第一的節目 We've got the number-one show in Holland.
包括《好聲音》在內的很多大火真人秀都起源于荷蘭
那可是荷蘭 In Holland.
最棒的是 工作做完了 Well, the best part is, we're done.
有個問題 So here's a question.
你抽大麻嗎 Do you ever get high?
極其偶爾 Once in a while.
這個挺酷的 Oh, these are kind of cool.
一走路就亮燈 They light up when you walk.
對 我就想要一雙還得充電的人字拖 Yeah, that's what I need-- flip-flops I have to recharge.
我自己要了 I'll take 'em.
老天啊 看這個 Jesus, look at this.
誰會穿橡膠裙啊 Who the hell would wear a rubber dress?
畫里這姑娘 Uh, the girl in this picture?
對了 你會喜歡這個的 Oh, here we go. You're gonna like this.
-你在干嘛 -怎么了 - What are you doing? - What?
我已經三個月滴酒未沾了 I haven't had a drink in three months.
我知道 所以才要慶祝一下嘛 I know. We should celebrate that.
你這個大賤人 You're such a shit.
偶爾小酌 死不了的 Once in a while's not gonna kill you.
這是戒酒十三步的最后一步嗎 Is that the 13th step?
誰知道了 第二步我都沒到過 I don't know. I never got past two.
有青檸嗎 You got any limes?
-你覺得怎么樣 -帥 - What do you think? - Nice.
怎么了 What?
鏡片上那是劃痕嗎 Is that a scratch across the lens?
就剩這最后一副了 They were the last pair.
-可是不要錢啊 -好吧 - But free! - Right.
你能看到吧 But can you see?
看不太到 你完全搞錯重點了啦 Not really, but you're totally missing the point.
選眼鏡的重點 Of glasses?
你和蒂姆午餐吃的怎么樣 So how was your lunch with Tim?
還有 你聽到那句"小野"了吧 Oh, and by the way, you heard the "Oh, no" thing.
-聽到了 -謝謝 - I did. - Thank you.
亮瞎你 Wanker.
好吧 午餐 Um, well, okay, lunch.
我先說一句 不用擔心 Let me start by saying there is no cause for alarm.
絕逼是好貨 This is fucking great.
是醫用的嗎 Is it medical?
我兒子種的 My son grows it.
我也想要孩子 I want children.
-誰 -麥拉 - Yeah? - It's Myra.
請進 Oh, come in.
現在說話方便嗎 Is now a good time?
-當然方便 -非常 - Very, yeah. - Very.
我收到了紐約的選角 I got the casting from New York
是好消息 on first the good news.
已經給你們倆發鏈接了 I sent you both the link.
太好了 我們肯定會看的 Great. We'll definitely take a look.
周末愉快 Have a good weekend.
你要去哪玩嗎 Are you doing anything fun?
大屠殺紀念館里有新展了 There's a new exhibit at the Holocaust museum.
好好看 Enjoy.
再見 Bye.
她那表情 好像是聞出來了 She looked like she smelled it.
她總是一副聞到屎的表情 She always looks like she smelled it.
怎么這么安靜 Why is it so quiet?
孩子們呢 Where are the boys?
我就欣賞你 到這會兒了 I like that you're just now wondering
才想起問孩子們去哪了 where your children are.
他們今天在我媽家睡 They're staying over at my mother's.
自愿去的 Willingly?
還記得我們沒孩子那會嗎 Remember when we didn't have kids?
太美好了 That was nice.
又不怪我 "我只放進去一點"先生 Don't blame me, Mr. "Just the tip."
還搞了倆次 And twice.
雖然我是愛著他們的 但是 I mean, I love 'em and all, but...
沒有他們之前的日子多好啊 How great was it before they showed up?
在房子里四處亂搞 Screwing all over the house,
騎上腳踏車 沿著海岸騎 getting on the bike, riding up the coast.
時過境遷 It was a different time.
是啊 那時候你可瘋了 Yeah, you were crazy back then.
那時候的我 可能就會穿那件橡膠裙 Back then, I would probably put on that rubber dress.
我不會穿橡膠裙的 I'm not putting on the rubber dress.
行吧 Okay.
我懷念這感覺 I miss this.
是呀 感覺不錯 Yeah, this is nice.
我是說喝酒 I meant drinking.
天 你真美 God, you're cute.
我都忘記你有多美了 I forget how cute you are.
閉嘴 Shut up.
干嘛 What?
我不會穿橡膠裙的 I'm not putting on the rubber dress.
他奶奶個腿的 Fucking hell.
快出來 讓我看看 Come on, let me see.
這是橡膠除輪胎以外的最佳用途 That's the best thing to happen to rubber since tires.
給乳膠裙姑娘買杯酒 Buy a latex girl a drink?
靠 Oh, fuck.
什么那么好笑 What's funny?
我在想象你和默克 I'm picturing you with Merc.
你干嘛要想那個 Why would you want to do that?
五年啊 真的嗎 Five years? Really?
真的 但我都三十多了 Yeah, but I'm in my 30s,
也不算太浪費青春 so that's not time wasted.
好吧 Okay.
所以有 默克 So, Merc...
還有我前夫 我還聽到八卦 My ex-husband and I heard a rumor.
很可能是真的 Probably true.
卡斯特·索托 Castor Sotto?
你和老板們都是怎么回事 What is with you and bosses?
就好這口嗎 Have a type, do you? -
可能我是被權力吸引了吧 I think I'm attracted to power.
還有 我可能有戀父情結 Also, I may have some father issues.
難以自處再加上腦子不清 Self-aware and fucked up.
見到你很高興 Pleased to meet you.
怎么光在談我的爛事 Okay, why are we only talking about my shit?
你肯定也有爛事 You must have shit.
我當然有爛事 Oh, I do have some shit.
然后呢 So?
你好哪口的 What's your type?
你現在有戀人嗎還是 Are you seeing anybody or--
有過 三個月前分手了 Was. Ended three months ago.
沒事的 我很好 It's fine. All good.
是我認識的男的嗎 Is he anyone I'd know?
也許 Uh, maybe.
這男的是三臺新聞的詹妮弗·科利爾 He's Jennifer Collier from channel three news.
所以你的菜是... So your type is...
是聰明 I'd say smart...
美麗 beautiful,
輕微的破損 slightly damaged.
你認識這類型的人嗎 You know anyone like that?
我的天 My.
所以 So...
也許不只是戀父情結 maybe not just father issues.